Category Archives: 21

21

Playing It

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Play- engage in an activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.

playLife often seems to be a somber and practical experience, making people miss the truth behind it. Life is a game, and once you accept that and learn how to play it, it will become a much more enjoyable and recreational experience.  Like any game, there are challenges to overcome and strategies to implement.  Most people never realize this is the case. They spend their life soberly moving from one square to the next,  regretting moves they made in the past or fretting over challenges that may come tomorrow.  Life is a game that is played in the now because that is all you are guaranteed.  Never forget to play with passion as you move through life, and it starts with an awareness of this game happening right under your nose, with your thoughts, words, and actions.  

Enjoy The Game

We are all born into this game, I don’t think we asked for it,  but here we are.  Like all games, you can see players using different strategies to get maximum enjoyment with minimal effort.  Some play a social game as they move around the board, and others choose to be the lone wolf.  All of us are trying Playto move through the board and find the prize of peace and contentment. It seems that the players that enjoy every experience, every move are the ones that benefit the most.

There are many truths to the game of life. Who you choose to play with will determine how well you play and how much you enjoy the experience. Some have the intention of not wanting any part of the game.  These negative souls see every changing move as a problem and a potential for pain. Avoid these players at all costs because they will make the game miserable for everyone they contact in their sport.  Spend your time with people who love the game, and it will be easy to enjoy too.

Limits to Avoid

In the game of life, there are some things to avoid as you play.  One of the most important is to avoid worrying about what other people think of your moves around the board. They may tell you that you look silly or that your playstrategy will never work, or they may say they have a better plan.  Let these reservations of others slide right off you. You are the only person who can play your game, and life provides you with many lessons that will assist you in reaching the goals of happiness and contentment.  Anyone being critical of your play is probably sliding backward themselves or can’t seek the imagination it takes to move forward. Avoid listening to what others think of you. The responsibility for your play lies with you alone.

The second thing to avoid is becoming too confident in the way you play.  Life has many penalties for overconfidence, and none of them are pleasant. Be assured, but never stop being grateful for where you are and what you have in this game. That will keep you grounded and avoid the big falls that pride can bring.  You will never figure the whole match out; nobody does.  But you can learn through playing to the end all that you need to know. Gratitude is an essential fuel for the game, play it consistently and generously, and it will take you a long way.

Finally, avoid fear as you move around the game. It is natural if you are in a “good” spot on the board to stay there. But life is a running game and never stands still; one of the specific rules is that you have to keep moving and changing. Change is life, and accepting change is accepting life.   Some call this scary. Others call this opportunity.  Call it a chance because it doesn’t matter if you like it or not; that is what will happen. Things will change, and you will have to roll the dice again or spin the wheel and take the moves in front of you.  Do not be afraid. Be confident that whatever lies ahead, you will have the ability to play through it and move on to even a better level. Each challenge of the game is an opportunity for growth. Play the game and grow!

Winning the Game

Well, here is the sad truth. There is no winning the game. There is only one playing it.  The choices that you make on the way define your play and will playdetermine the experience you have. The most crucial factor in realizing is that you have a choice. Maybe not with what the game brings you but in how you react to those experiences. These are the most important decisions you can make because they will determine if the skills you have move you forward or backward in the game.  Are you climbing a ladder or sliding down a chute back to where you started?

Try not to play the victim and complain about everything.  All challenges bring with them an opportunity. To be better or accomplish something. If you choose not to take advantage of that because of grief for what has gone or fear of what might come, then take responsibility for it.  Because in the game of life, you are responsible for how you play. You and you alone.

PLAY TO THE BEST OF YOUR ABILITY.  That is winning the game and will allow you to get the most out of it.  We have little control over when it will end but total control over the choices we make while we play. Raise your awareness of the play with your thoughts, words, and actions. Remember, none of us will get out of here alive. 

“Life is a game, and you are the player. As you master the game, so you also create it.” ― Jay Woodman.

“The game of life is a game of boomerangs. Our thoughts, deeds, and words come back to us with astounding accuracy.” ~Florence Scovel Shinn

 

 

 

21

EVERYTHING

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Everything- all things, all the things of a group or class.

I have found this one fact pervasive throughout my life, EVERYTHING we do matters when it comes to our happiness and enjoyment of life.

Every decision that you make every day of your life contributes to the essence of your existence.  Each choice you make to support someone or knock them down will be reflected in your own experience.  Through my young adulthood, I never realized this. I was too worried about my existence to put much concern into the lives of others. That was a mistake and one I don’t want you to make. It all starts with a constant awareness of the thoughts you are entertaining, the corresponding emotions they cause you to experience, the words you use, and the actions you take because of them.  Everything you think, feel, say, and do matters to your existence. So choose them wisely.

Choice consists of the mental process of judging the merits of multiple options and selecting one of them.

Your Choices Count All The Time

Every day, you are faced with a thousand choices, from what you eat to where you go or your thoughts about them.  One of the most Everythingimportant decisions is how you treat other people and how you treat yourself.  Many of these decisions happen with little thought at all,  but you should be aware that each choice you make defines the substance that is you.

Your energy is a compilation of these decisions, you can keep them to yourself and not tell anyone else about them, and they will still be a part of you as clearly as if you wore a scarlet letter on your forehead.  Due to this fact, it is significant that you understand there are no small choices; they are all big choices and will help determine what types of things you will attract to your life.

Decisions On the Job

all decisions are important
What do you do at the fork in the road?

When you go to work at whatever job you are performing,  you will always have choices, which will help determine how much you will enjoy that experience. And, more importantly, what kind of person you are going to be.

It doesn’t matter if you are digging ditches or splitting atoms. The choices you make will determine your success and value at that job and in life.   Everything all starts with your attitude.  Your attitude is the most significant decision you make about your work and, more importantly, your life.

If you continuously focus on how much you hate your job, it only stands to reason that you will struggle with it.  That is your choice. If you approach the crappiest job in the world like it is the sweetest thing you have ever done, then you are not accepting that job as your end-all.  You are displaying that you are a trustworthy person with unlimited potential. If you knew someone digging ditches for a living, and they approached it with responsibility and a positive attitude, wouldn’t any boss anywhere want that person around all the time?

Wouldn’t they actively look for places that would use that individual’s talent to the best of their ability?  The answer is, of course, they would. But more importantly, wouldn’t that person be looking for situations that would use their talents better and provide more satisfaction. Only you control your attitude at work or anywhere else — everything you do matters.

Choices about Your Friends

Every Thought Counts
Choose Them Wisely

The people that you spend the most time with will have a significant influence on you. If you crave adventure, find adventurous friends. If you enjoy thought-provoking debate, seek out friends that enjoy that as well. Decide what you want to experience in life and spend time with people who have a similar disposition. Building a positive network of friends will increase your enjoyment of life. The friends who have the same values as me, like honesty, integrity, and doing what is right, even if it isn’t always easy, are valued and appreciated. They give you strength and make your life much more enjoyable.

Conversely, if you spend your time with negative people, gossip all the time, and are miserable about their lives and others, what do you think your outlook will be?   The transference from one person to another is a fact of life. The choices of association in this area significantly matter to your happiness.

Think about the people you know. Aren’t there some people who just put a smile on your face only by being around?  Unfortunately, some people make you depressed just by saying hello.  I know I have met plenty of both.  You need to choose to steer towards the positive people when you can and leave the negative folks to their misery.  You will make enjoy life a whole lot more.

Be The Toxic Avenger

If you have friends in your life who have a toxic effect on those around them, then you have two choices.  You can either totally avoid them and the poisonous foolishness that comes with them.  Or if that is not possible, the more fun method is to challenge them on every negative thought and action constantly. After a while, they will either change their perspective or start to avoid you.  Either way, you win a more positive life. Everything

When they say something negative about someone, disagree and say something you know that is positive.  Most of these toxic people are not evil. They have just gotten into the bad habit of feeling that unless they make someone else feel bad, they can’t feel right.  By choosing to counteract them at every turn, you will either make them so mad they will leave on their own accord or, more often than not, they will fall in line and agree with you.  Be consistent with this, and you may turn a negative toxic person into a positive, happy person.  That decision will be a happy one for you.

How You Think About Yourself Counts

Every Thought CountsOften, it is confusing to people who focus and make positive decisions about how they think about others. They will be doing well, but they ignore how hard they are on themselves.  And the truth of the matter is that if you don’t love yourself and treat yourself like you deserve great things in your life, you can’t be too surprised when you don’t get them.

How you decide to view yourself is probably the most critical decision you can make in life.  If you look at yourself and point out the flaws, real or imagined, you are beating up your self-esteem for no reason.  How can you expect that great things will happen for you if you don’t even think you deserve them.

The great thing is that changing this pattern of thought is as simple as changing your mind.  Really?  Don’t believe me? Then do this.  Honestly, make a list of all the things you don’t like about yourself.  Hopefully, it won’t be too long, but I know some of us are hard on ourselves.  For every negative thing about yourself, rewrite the statement as a positive.

You can change the complete statement, or more likely, replace it with something you do like.  For example, an idea like, “my butt is too big” can be changed into “I have stunning eyes.”  or  “My butt looks great!”  In the end,(no pun intended), I don’t think it matters how you change the statement because as smart as we think we are, our brains can only remember one thing at a time. If you are considering the same positive thought repeatedly, then there is no room for the negative version.

You can choose to make it a negative thing or decide to make it a positive thing.  If you think positive thoughts about yourself and your abilities consistently, you will automatically permeate success, and others will be able to sense it.  All I can ask is that you try it.  Give yourself a break. You are a good person, and there are beautiful things about you that are so attractive.  Focus on them.  What you think about yourself is all that matters anyway.

Every decision you make, from the minute you wake up to the time you lay your head back down to go to sleep, will affect everything about you and your life.  Ask yourself when you are making a choice, “Does this choice honor me.” If you can honestly answer, “YES.” Then the decision will be simple, indeed.

I leave you with one thought, and it is the one I had initially — all you do matters in life. The choices you make are yours, and you are responsible for them.  Everything will come from your thoughts, feelings, words, and the actions that result from them.  If you don’t like the way the music sounds, change the arrangement.  Everything you do will allow this to happen.

In a minute, there is time for decisions and revisions, which a minute will reverse.  ~T.S. Eliot

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions.  ~Author Unknown

Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The inability to make a decision has often been passed off as patience.  ~Author Unknown

Everything is something you decide to do, and there is nothing you have to do.  ~Denis Waitley

 

21

Joy

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What does your joy look like?

Can anyone define their joy as one particular aspect of a day or even a life?

I certainly can’t. Life is much faceted, and joy derives from many different experiences. The canvas that I paint on has many colors, and I take pleasure from many other parts of that image my life has created.

Joy is an emotion that comes from within each of us.  Things bring us experiences, but we have to allow the joy in ourselves to rise to the surface and show itself. Happiness can come when you are with someone else or by yourself. It can be in the morning or the afternoon.  You are fully able to feel it at any moment you choose.  My joy today looks like many things. I have some thoughts about some specific things I experience happiness about in life—a glimpse of what is making experience great pleasure and satisfaction today.

Freedom’s Just Another Name

Something about times of complete and utter freedom makes me extremely happy and fills my heart with joy and happiness.

freedom There are times in each day where you have to perform specific tasks for your job or to meet the expectations of loved ones. These acts bring a reward for their merit.  Yet, most days, there are moments where I have complete and utter freedom to do whatever I desire at that moment.

 My desires aren’t all that wild and unattainable. I like to write (surprise), I enjoy thinking, and I read with passion.  Finding the time and freedom to do these things fills me with joy today.

 I think that having and exercising your free will each day for some time make you feel rejuvenated and brand new. I know those moments when there is no requirement on me other than those I place on myself are precious.

 On most days, there is a small portion where I experience the freedom of choice, which looks like a joy to me today.

Be Creative, and Things will Flow.

tumblr_la3fh5yX2q1qcgiqwo1_500I have always thought of myself as a person that lacked creativity.  Since I was a young lad, I heard that I lacked the artistic imagination to make art.

The sad part was not that people said these things, but that I believed them.  If you feel this, it cripples your ability to find the answers you are looking for on your journey.

For example, some writers suffer from writer’s block. They can’t get the flow going no matter how hard they try.  One of the most effective ways to break down walls of any kind is to do something creative.  I find that as I become completely engaged in an activity on the creative side, generally, the blocks go away, and words and ideas start to flow freely.

Surprisingly drawing is a form of expression for me, which allows me to do this.  Even though I have no talent in this area, engaging in a brief drawing session will let me find some clarity if I struggle with thought. Creativity looks like my joy today.

Music is Joy

I have often written about how much music means to me, and it is a daily love affair that is only limited by the number of songs available for me to hear.  No one genre brings me joy because many songs and artists I wouldn’t think I would like to perform songs that I find that I can relate to, at least to some degree! I find that nothing explains your emotions better than music or speaks to your soul like the lyrics of the right song.!

Music works magically like a time machine and transports you to different times in your life, and you can almost more than remember those people who were in your life at the time, you can only touch them with your heart and feel them with your soul but touch them and feel them you do.

A song can transport you over the years to a specific place and time. In an instant, you are there re-experiencing the moment from long ago. Happiness, sadness, or even joy can wash over you as you remember your past actions through a song.

As I drive down the road listening to some great music from today and yesterday, I know my joy looks like music today.

You Look Like Joy To Me!

If you are reading this, then you are what my joy looks like today.  I was thinking about what makes me joyous, and that is when something I write affects someone else and makes them believe in any way.

It can be a positive or negative reaction, but to be moved enough to comment, either way, makes me very happy.

 As anyone who writes probably has realized, this is all just the thoughts that come into your head.  They never existed before in the manner you used them and wrote them down. It is an expression of yourself in your mind.

 If someone else can read them and take something from them, find inspiration, commiseration,  or agitation, then I think that is a pretty powerful thing. I enjoy reading the ideas of others as they push me to learn more about myself and think about what I want to be and do in this experience of life: the personality and the presentation of the information counts.  Much like music, there is an unlimited number of writers and creators out there providing great information and excellent entertainment.  I learn something interacting with each written piece I come across.  I find new ones every day like a treasure hidden, just waiting for someone to discover them.

Joy is a feeling that comes from within, and all of these help me feel it because I accept them in my life. Each of us is in charge of the level of joy we experience and from what source it comes.

“Let your joy be in your journey—not in some distant goal.” —Tim Cook

“We cannot cure the world of sorrows, but we can choose to live in joy.” —Joseph Campbell

“Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home… it’s your responsibility to love it, or change it.” —Chuck Palahniuk

“The soul’s joy lies in doing.” —Percy Bysshe Shelley

“If you carry joy in your heart, you can heal any broken moment.”

 

 

21

Mindfulness

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All of us are looking for happiness. When you look at the result, we would like to experience all of our choices, and we hope to find satisfaction. However, it seems like many people let other things get in the way of their happiness.  Anger, jealousy, worry, or just plain fear grab ahold of your mind and stop you from reaching the ultimate goal of being happy in life.  The attachments we build to relationships, events, jobs, or anything else prevent us from enjoying the experiences we have every day.

Let it Go

It starts with the things we are attached to in thought. The attachments we make stem from the beliefs that we learned as children and never questioned. Thoughts about security, happiness, survival, success, we believe all these things in our lives are necessary to be happy.  Most of these things we hold on to are not the path to happiness but obstacles to it.

We are taught a narrative from a young age about what a successful education, career, and family life should look like in your life. People spend years cultivating this perceived image of success. We attach tightly to it, even though it may not make us happy. Letting go is difficult because our jobs have become a part of our identity.  Changing the narrative can be difficult because we worry about being accepted and what others, even those closest to us, think.  Let go of your attachments and see what happens.

Paradise and Hell

Inside each of us is the potential for heaven and the potential for hell. We decide which one shows up in our life. However, much of what happens to us is out of our control. How we react to everything is 100% of our choice.  We have the potential to build favorable circumstances or negative ones. Our selection of focus will determine what manifests in your life and how you affect the world.

If our choice is to wallow in the suffering of past hurts and sorrows, then this is a choice that will lead to a negative experience in your life. You are deciding to allow those negative feelings to grow inside you, and what we nurture inside will show up on the outside.

The good news is that no matter how negative you are currently or have been in the past, change can happen right now at this very moment.  The opposite thoughts are available to you right now. If you are experiencing fear, choose feelings of love. If you are bitter, focus on thoughts of acceptance. By concentrating and focusing on the positive, the seeds grown will choke out the negative in all aspects of life.

Be Mindful

This attitude leads to the practice of mindfulness. It means to plant your focus squarely on today and what is happening in your life right now—not allowing yourself to get lost in the memories of the past or trapped by thoughts of the future.  Practicing mindfulness can provide positive energy throughout the day, and that positive wave is available to you at all times.

Focused breathing is a simple way to bring your mind into the moment and to choke out random thoughts of the past or future. Happiness is at the moment. Not all moments are great to experience, but each moment of life has the potential for the experience of joy. You will miss this if your mind is lost in the past or floating around in the future.

Manage your Focus

A focus of thought is the next step, and it works with mindfulness. Once you can center your thoughts on what is happening today, then weeding out the ones that negatively affect you is easy to do.  Concentrating will not allow thoughts of potential suffering or fear of the future to stop you from living a vital and happy life right now.  Life is a test, and there will be moments that test you. Real growth would be painful without them.

Notice Your Thoughts

Clarity is the result of all of this.  Seeing the world as it truly is and finding happiness in that experience. We are not worrying about what MIGHT come tomorrow or regret or be fretting over the past.  This realization will set you free from the suffering thoughts of anger, jealousy, and fear. The result will be feelings of true happiness. We all can use this insight, but it seems few take advantage of it to increase our level of satisfaction. That choice, as in all things, is yours.

  • “Be ever happy inside. You can’t change things outside of you, but you can change yourself.”
  • “There are no obstacles: There are only opportunities!”
  • “There is no greater power than to smile at failure, no more beautiful an ornament to your being than a genuine smile, and no beauty greater than the smile of peace and wisdom glowing on your face.”
  • “Live quietly in the moment and see the beauty of all before you. The future will take care of itself.”
  • “Forget the past, for it is gone from your domain! Forget the future, for it is beyond your reach! Control the present! Live supremely well now! This is the way of the wise.”
  • “Accept change as life’s only constant. Life is change.”

 

21

Choice Defines You

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Choice- an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.  Something we all struggle with because we are always worried we will choose wrong.

What choices will you make today?

There is freedom that exists in every choice we make.  From the seemingly meaningless routines of the day to the most complicated interpersonal decisions, the choice of your thoughts, words, and actions always lies exclusively with you alone. That is an excellent and sometimes frightening proposition. But that is part of the joy of life. So I am trying to remember for myself and urge you to make the choices your heart is encouraging you to make. Even if they turn out to have challenges, you will have the ability to create new opportunities and move in another direction.  Each moment of life is a choice, and you create your character with the decisions you make, so choose well.

Daily Choices

The average person makes approximately 35,000 choices in a day. Many decisions arrive using our subconscious mind, and the automatic programming we have been collecting all your life. choiceThere is no conscious thought behind them. They might include, what you eat, what you wear, when you eat, the route you take to work, the places you stop along the way, the coffee you drink, the activities you participate in, or any number of things. There is a missed chance for consciousness in every choice we make on automatic pilot.

Every moment of the day is an opportunity to choose who you want to be. Honesty or lies? Kindness or meanness? Judgment or acceptance? Peace or anger?  These are just a few things that you choose at each moment of your life, and they determine who you are.  If you are unhappy with a portion of your life, then you have the power to choose another path for yourself. If you hate your job, decide to find another or find a way to make it more enjoyable.  If you are unhappy with your relationships, choose to work on what bothers you or select to end them. Be prepared to accept the freedom and responsibility of the results of your choices.

Choosing Our Reaction

There are moments in life that are out of our control, and we have no choice in them and certainly wouldn’t want to experience them. Natural disasters, the death of a loved one, job loss, the poor behavior of another are examples of things out of our control that no sane person would choose.  But we always have a choice in how we react to these unfortunate things.

Life is never a smooth road, there are bumps and challenges all the time, and they are there to allow for your growth. You choose how you deal with them. Do you become bitter or learn to be more accepting? Do you stay stuck in the past or move forward into the future? Do you give up? Or do you rebuild? Each choice will define you until the next opportunity comes along to change it. In the end, you are going to be responsible for the life you live.   We can make all the excuses we want. The choices we make in thought, words, and actions will tell the true story of our life. What choices are you making today?

Honoring Choices

I hope that more people will look at their choices and ask if they are things that will accept them. Only you can decide what thought, word, or action will bring honor to you or not.  I know that there have been times I made poor choices that did not honor my life for me. They were mistakes, and hopefully, I have learned from them and make more honoring preferences with that experience.

If you can be conscious enough to ask yourself in all small choices, does this honor me? You will get an answer, and that will guide you if you listen. It is essential in the manner you choose to treat other people. If you lie or cause harm to someone willingly, then you can expect those poor choices to become a part of your life for a while. It is just that you won’t be the giver of pain and suffering; you will be on the receiving end.

Be conscious of all of your choices today in thought, words, and actions.

“At some point in our life, everyone must decide if they are a creator or a critic, a lover or a hater, a giver, or a taker.” ~ Unknown

“Make good choices today, so you don’t have regrets tomorrow.” Anonymous

“Every day brings new choices.” Martha Beck

“Life is all about making choices. Always do your best to make the right ones, and always do your best to learn from the wrong ones.” Anonymous

“Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” John C. Maxwell

“Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice.” Anonymous

“Every morning, you have two choices: Continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase your dreams. The choice is yours.” Anonymous

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” Denis Waitley

I have written about choice quite a lot in the past.

Crossroad Choices

Even more on this page

21

Responsible

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NEVER MAKE EXCUSES

Accept Responsibility for Life.

Each day, we can make these decisions to bring our lives into balance, enjoy the experience more, and connect us to life in general.

Today is a day of potential with a chance of increasing your enjoyment and energy by accepting things as they indeed are and taking responsibility for them.  Those two skills will allow you to experience a more happy and balanced life.  It is a simple concept but takes discipline to perform consistently. It begins by being conscious of your thoughts, the words you use to express them, and the actions you take because of the ideas you entertain. These are not complex concepts to fathom, nor are they trying to put into practice, but few choose to do them consistently because you have to be consistent in your practice.

Things Are What They Are

It can be difficult for people to accept unpleasant things as a part of their lives. This fact is true of experiencing some significant change on our part. Sometimes it is just easier to wish things were like they used to be, but they never are.  Change is happening all around you and inside you every day. The new comes and takes the place of the old, and that is a reality. To refuse to accept this is a cause of suffering.  Things are what they are. To think anything else is delusionary.

Accept the things in life. All the changes and growth that are going to come until the time that life ceases to exist continually.  Accept yourself and all others and the role they are playing in your life. Acknowledge that there is a divine presence in everyone, even if their actions are harmful and their behavior is unsatisfactory. Accept them and their journey as a part of yours. Life moves, injuries occur, rehabilitation is needed, you may find yourself down and in need of a comeback. All of these are possible once you accept how things are. You will have a solid base to go wherever you want. Accept things as they are because that is how they are.

Responsibility For All

My thoughts, words, and actions are all my responsibility, always.  This fact is a concept more people should focus on in their life. We all make a million decisions in a day. Most are rote actions we complete daily, and those decisions are made subconsciously and may or may not represent what you want to stand for. Focusing on all the ideas we bring into reality with our words and actions means you have to be conscious and aware. Choices of harsh words can harm people deeply below the surface where you can’t directly see the harm. It doesn’t matter what your intent is. It matters what the actual result is. If your words hurt someone, you are responsible for that, regardless of your original intention.

Many people choose to avert responsibility for whatever reason. It is a habit that allows the negative energy of a poor choice to stay with you for a long time.  Learn to accept responsibility for all things in your life, and when it needs to be “fixed,” then start fixing.  The acceptance will lead to a higher quality of life, bringing balance and happiness to your daily experience.  When you accept responsibility for all things, there is no fear of what others think. You are going to be productive and feel better about yourself. Your relationships with significant others, friends, family, and co-workers will also be better. When you make a mistake or hurt someone, take responsibility, and make amends.

Make Two choices Today.

It is up to you today to look honestly at your location and accept that it is a reality. You live where you live. You make the amount of money you make. You have the friends you have. If any of those things aren’t where you would like them to be, then you have the power to change them.  Be responsible for your choices every day and look for ways to learn from those who aren’t so good.  Use them to become better the next time you have options.  All of the things you choose are in your power.  Things may happen out of your control, but your decisions about dealing with them are all under your control. Nobody can make them for you.

As you move through this day, please take a moment and look at the thoughts you are entertaining about your life and how it is progressing today. Are you taking responsibility for where you are? Are you blaming others or circumstances? Are you just existing without much thought about it at all?  You have a conscious choice to see where you are and to accept responsibility for it. Once you do this, you can use your words and actions to make your life a more enjoyable experience. The level of enjoyment you experience is all up to you and the thoughts you choose to entertain in your conscious mind.

“The first step toward change is awareness. The second step is acceptance.”- Nathaniel Branden.

“Even the acceptance of personal responsibility may not overcome the temptation to believe that now is not the time to repent. ‘Now’ can seem so difficult, and ‘later’ appear so much easier. The truth is that today is always a better day to repent than any tomorrow. “-Henry B. Eyring.

“Happiness can exist only in acceptance.”- George Orwell.

 

 

21

Goodbye

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Goodbye-used to express good wishes when parting.

Life is a non-stop stream of hellos and goodbyes. The greetings are pretty easy to manage, like a breeze blowing into your life, bringing hope and understanding to all. The goodbyes can be devastating because you recognize the promise of a situation, making the experience more enjoyable than you no longer have. Saying goodbye provides lasting, sharp, and painful moments.

We all move through life changes; to change is life, and to live, we must accept it. Saying goodbye can be a change you never want to make because the presence of a person has been so positive. You can’t imagine your life without them.  It should be the hope of all people to leave an emptiness in their absence, which is challenging to fill.   Even though you may be moving on toward better things, you are still going behind people who mean a lot to you behind.  It is essential to be conscious of the good wishes you want to leave behind for those who have touched your life.  It all starts with an awareness of the thoughts you think of others, the words you speak to them, and your actions to show them today.

See You Soon

There are different types of goodbyes. There are the ones that are permanent and those that are just temporary for a time. The problem is that we often don’t know which is which. When it comes to the people I care about, I always say see you soon or see you later because that is my hope. Sometimes in life, you don’t get a chance to say goodbye, and it is too late, and you wish that just for one second, you could expect someone well on their journey. If only to let them know what an impact they had on your life and that you care about them. Unfortunately, you will never know if this goodbye is for the moment or forever. Treat them all like it is forever because if it is, everyone will know where they stand and the impact they have had on you. There is no regret in honesty.

Leaving where you work can be a challenging thing because, lots of times, our identity is wrapped up in what we do. You can lose your sense of self when you leave a job.  That is OK. Eventually, it provides a good learning experience that you are not your job.  The people you work with have made your situation bearable, and if you are a caring person, you will miss the influence they had on your life.  The halls of your life are lined with the echoes of their laughter and memories of their smiles.  Say see you soon and remember those good things, they will always travel with you and when you need them you remember.

Is it Forever?

That is a long time, but life is fleeting, and we will not be experiencing it forever.  All things have a beginning, a middle, and an ending. Life is this way too.  The end doesn’t have to be sad. It just has to be recognized.  When I was a young man, I avoided the whole situation of saying goodbye. If I never mentioned it and never talked about it, it wouldn’t exist. But of course,  that behavior didn’t stop anything.  Enjoy the people who make your life better while you are with them.  What would you say if it was the last time you saw them?

Be honest with people and tell them what you feel.  It is the best medicine for you and others. People leave our lives, and we are sad, and sometimes we cry. We don’t call for them, moving on to something else. We cry for ourselves because our lives are a little less vibrant without their colors being painted on your canvas anymore.  There is an emptiness. But that is a good thing because it means that you had a wonderful person in your life, like looking at an empty room once full of joy but now dormant and empty. The current condition does not cancel the old thoughts.

In your Heart and Mind

Even after people have died and left this show forever, when you think of them, for an instant, they are still here and with you. Their influence stays, and as long as you are alive. They are influenced by you as well. Even if they don’t admit it. The same is true as you leave the lives of others because you moved or moved on.  The influence of the people you care about is there whenever you think of it. So think of it and remember the right things.

Other people make our lives what they are. Happy, sad, angry, lonely, complete, or any other way you can describe life. Appreciate the ones that make your life better and tell them often. The same can be said with the circumstances you experience. Enjoy the great things, and the things you don’t like will fade into the background of your memory. There are always going to be valuable diamonds you carry with you from all experiences in life. Sometimes they are tiny, but they still exist. Cherish these positives and let the negative go, only taking lessons with you.

As you look at your life, seeing the times you have had to say goodbye. Evaluate what you have learned, what and who you miss, and make sure that you take advantage of every chance not to say goodbye but to thank you.  Thank the people who have shaped your life better in any small or big way.  It all begins with a focus on your thoughts about the absence of others, the words we use to speak to and about them, and the actions we take because of these goodbyes.  Thank you to all the people who have made my life a great and exciting experience. See you soon!

“It’s time to say goodbye, but I think goodbyes are sad, and I’d much rather say hello. Hello to a new adventure.” Ernie Harwell

“Life is made up of meetings and partings; that is the way of it.” ~ Charles Dickens

“You have been my friend. That in itself is a tremendous thing.” -E.B. White (Charlotte’s Web)

“Don’t be dismayed at goodbyes. A farewell is necessary before you can meet again. And meeting again, after moments or lifetimes, is certain for those who are friends.” -Richard Bach

“How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.” -A.A. Milne (Winnie-the-Pooh)

 

21

How Are You Programmed?

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Programming- a:  the process of instructing or learning utilizing an instructional program. b: the process of preparing an instructional program for a device (such as your mind)

Everything seems to run and be limited by the programming it has received.  As people, we obtain our programming from society and those influential in our lives from the moment we are born.  We get instructed on how to think, what actions are acceptable and where our value lies in constructing the situation we are experiencing.  These factors are the programming of our lives, and it determines what we can create, the amount of wealth we accumulate, and the types of relationships we accept for ourselves.  It is all programming from outside sources, and we take it all as truth.  But it isn’t, and that is one of the biggest lies of life.  It all starts with looking at your thoughts and being aware of the origin of their source. Is it original, or have you been taught to think that way? Ideas have corresponding emotions attached, which color how you feel about things. Then there are the words you use to express those thoughts to the world and their power validating your programming or contributing to the programming of others.  Of course, it all results in the actions you take. Every choice will determine your impact on the world with all of those you interact with daily. Your power comes from your programming.

We Believe our Programs

It is our programming that sets up our beliefs, and the chain reaction begins. Most of the results we have experienced in our lives result from the type of programming we have received throughout. Each interaction and experience provides an input of information we internalize. Either we choose to accept it as a part of who we are, or we reject it.  The scary part is that much of what we get as accurate is faulty, cynical, and just plain untrue.  So the system, our life, is running on information with no factual or healthy basis.  Our programs take each choice, decision, thought, feeling, word, and action.  We believe what we are programmed to think, and our programs run our lives.

If your programming tells you that you are no good, overweight, ugly, and unworthy, then that is what your reality is going to be. What is the significant difference between someone who achieves easily and someone who doesn’t?  Programming is the answer and the way they see themselves and their place in the world. This programming left unaddressed will continue to run in the background of your mind, influencing all attempts you make to change your situation in any way. They are not permanent, but these programs are persistent and will not change by magic or wishful thinking.  Real change starts with looking at your thoughts, which will tell you the current plan you have running.

How Thoughts Reveal Programming

Your thoughts are running all day long, and sometimes we are conscious of the ideas we accept, so we pay attention to them.  But most times, we allow our thoughts to run in the background of our subconscious mind. How does your subconscious know what opinions are critical and which ones to discard?  Programming, of course. Where you have traditionally placed your emotional attachments and beliefs before determining this, you may consciously think about losing weight, but when your guard is down, and your subconscious programming takes over and will sabotage a lot of good work you might have done.

Look at your thoughts and notice how they speak about you. There is a constant dialogue in your brain, revealing everything you think and feel. Most importantly, look at your thoughts about your value in any area you think is lacking. Finances, relationships, or health, your current condition is mainly due to your programming.  Listen to your thoughts and notice the negative beliefs you accept without question. This truth is your programming, and it is NOT permanent, but it is pervasive in everything you do.  Change involves focus and learning how to change your programming.

Change the Programs Change Your World

Changes in programming happen on the inside. We start to notice the negative programming and seek to replace it with something more positive. Know what you want in life and create a clear picture of it. Notice the thoughts you have when you think about that thing.  They will reveal your programming in that area of life.  If you want to change the outcome, then replace the negative programming.  One of the best ways I have found to do this is through positive self-talk.  Our programming controls the way we talk to ourselves in our minds. Much of this is negative words and thoughts that result in negative results.  You may have success for a day, a week, or a month but in the end, we will all default to our programming.

To change your programming for good is not all that complicated, but it isn’t easy either.  Replace the negative things which are stopping you from being healthy, wealthy, and happy in life with positive programming, which will allow you to grow as a better person.  Being better is done by the talk you allow in your mind.  If you support programming that limits you, like: I am not good at that. I have no balance. I am clumsy. I am not good at math. I am not intelligent. I am not attractive. Things never work out for me. I am just not good with money or any other harmful program, and you will be limited.  A person can replace all of those thoughts with something positive. It takes a little persistence in action and positive thinking.

A Willingness to Change

Our programming in our lives is what it is. The natural choice is to see an area of lack and to have a desire to change. Then you will be looking for the faulty programming stopping your progress and replacing it with new programs that are more beneficial to producing the results you are seeking.  A willingness to try something new and realize your programming can be changed to bring a different result will succeed.  What if everything you ever wanted is right there for you on the other end of better programming? Of course, you have to be willing to change your situation. Look honestly at your thoughts when you think of a job, which is your programming. If you like what you hear, reinforce it. If you don’t, then seek to replace it.

The thoughts we accept will lead to the emotions we experience,  the words we speak about that situation, and our actions. Of course, the steps will lead to results. If you think you are unattractive and overweight, you will subconsciously do things living up to that programming.  The encouraging part is it is all up to you what kind of programming you accept in your life.

 

“Successful weight loss takes programming, not willpower.” Phil McGraw

“In philosophy, they talk a lot about humans being actual organic machines, and the idea of free will is something that we’ve made up. We don’t have free will. We’re acting according to our programming as organic mechanisms.”– Joel Kinnaman

“The secret of living a life of excellence is merely a matter of thinking thoughts of excellence. It’s a matter of programming our minds with the kind of information that will set us free.” –Charles R. Swindoll

 

 

21

Emotional

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How does an event or situation make you feel?

Research indicates when people are feeling physical pain, general malaise, and chronic weariness, the cause can be linked to unexpressed emotion.  As a society, and primarily as men, we don’t learn how to adequately express our feelings or even notice the message they are trying to send us.

Uncomfortable or painful experiences are often pushed to the back burner of our minds because it is more comfortable at the moment to ignore rather than deal with the feelings they cause.  Unfortunately, these feelings still exist in our lives, even if we ignore them.  Learning to process our emotions healthily will increase our physical health and well-being, spiritually and mentally.  A person can express themselves by learning how to use appropriate words and actions in reaction to their emotions.

Noticing Your Feelings

It is essential to take a moment and see the emotions you are feeling. Just because you are feeling a certain way doesn’t mean you have to act on it. It means that you need to start noticing these emotions are there. This recognition is the first step in not being overwhelmed.  We have become so adept in our society at glossing over things with distraction (gaming, computers, media entertainment) That rarely is there a moment of silence to recognize what your emotions are telling you. Take that moment and notice how you feel. Learn to express them appropriately through words and actions.

Reflecting on Emotions

Ask some simple questions.  From where is this feeling coming? Why am I feeling it now? What is this emotion trying to tell me?  Seeking honest answers will give you a clue about any underlying emotional issues hiding in the background. The more you understand your feelings, the better you can deal with life. Instinctually we don’t want to show the world that something is bothering us or we are affected by things. Inside we view it as a weakness, but the real gap comes from not understanding the message of our emotions.

Strength in Acceptance

Many situations in life do not occur from a conscious choice.  If you are dealing with death, loss of job, accident, illness, aging, or betrayal, these are complicated situations that lead us to fight back in unhealthy ways. Denial, escaping into fantasy, substance abuse, manic activity, or overstimulation can be standard ways to deal with the flood of emotions hitting you.  Until you accept a circumstance as accurate, it is impossible to deal with it in an emotionally healthy way. Taking something doesn’t mean you give up. It only means that you understand where you are and why. This action will give you power over your emotions and how to deal with them.

Using Your Power

Becoming emotionally and intellectually self-aware will allow you to create insights into situations that will make the decision-making process easier to process. This infrastructure will work in all aspects of your life because you are working from a platform of honesty.  Our feelings are there to help guide us, and when they get attention, you are proactive. You are starting to write your own story.

Here are some emotions and what they might be trying to tell you.

Bitterness- Showing you where you need to heal, where you’re still holding judgments on others, and, most importantly, yourself.

Resentment- Letting you know you live in the past and not allow the present to be as it is.

Discomfort- There is an opportunity for change right now. Pay attention to what is happening and try to do something different than you typically do.

Anger- Warning sign, which displays your passions lie. It will also show up when boundaries are crossed or when you see things in your world that you feel need to change — anger is an excellent guide to your inner workings but a poor creator of your behavior.

Disappointment- It can be hard to deal with situations that don’t work out. It shows you are above apathy and still care about people and things.  Disappointments in our past not dealt with and accepted will lead to apathy and lack of expectation.

Guilt- If you are still living in the shadow of other people’s expectations of you.  Mistakes happen, things get broken, other people are not always going to like what you do. That is their emotional baggage, not yours.  Accept responsibility for your actions, put them behind you, and move forward.

Shame- It happens when we internalize the expectations of others on how we should be or live or who we have been or have lived in the past. Time to reconnect with yourself and understand who you are and what makes you happy.

Anxiety- This is a feeling that stems from fear — usually fear of the past or fear of the future.  You need to come into the present moment and let the past be the past and the coming fall where it will.  Anxiety is a clear guidepost to get into the present moment. Identify the thought that is leading to a feeling of dread.

Sadness- There is a depth of feeling that brings on sadness. Sadness will display when we look at the world and care deeply about others their circumstances and situations.  Ask what is making you sad?

Whatever your emotions are today, seeking to understand how they affect you is a move toward empowerment.  No matter what you do, your feelings will exist and continue to touch you. Either you can allow them to control your life, or you can use them to determine what they are guiding you toward.

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” -Daniel Goleman.

“75 percent of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including the inability to handle interpersonal problems, unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict, or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.”  -Center for Creative Leadership.

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” -Dale Carnegie.

“When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves.” -Jess C. Scott. 

“The only way to change someone’s mind is to connect with them from the heart.” 
-Rasheed Ogunlaru

“No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
 -Theodore Roosevelt

“Unleash in the right time and place before you explode at the wrong time and place.” -Oli Anderson.

 

21

F.E.A.R.

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Fear– an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

FearOne of the most challenging things that people face in life is fear. It is a formidable foe because it can rise in any area of your life at any moment.  Any experience in life can cause pain, and we are designed to avoid pain. So a traumatic experience at any age can cause fear to arise in your mind and affect your life. Fear can either be a motivator or a limiter to what you can and will accomplish in life.  Once you have been harmed, most people go to great lengths to avoid a repeat performance.  Raise your consciousness today, noticing the fear in your life. Look at where you are limited and the fear behind it in your thoughts, words, and actions.  By recognizing the fear and understanding its cause, the fear can be overcome and even eliminated. Try to be fearless. (See Video here)

Eliminate Fear

People often believe that the opposite of love is hate, but that isn’t true. Love’s opposite is fear.  All things seem to come down to a choice between love and concern.  To eliminate fear will, therefore, allow you to experience more love in your life.  Love should be your goal in all things. Not just the fearidealized version of attachment but the caring for others in the world, making your experience more positive.

The thoughts of fear are always in contrast to the ideas of love. Like two sides of the coin, they are there waiting for you to make a conscious choice of which one gets your attention.  There is a Cherokee parable about this battle in our hearts. Each of us has two wolves inside of us, fighting for control. One is love, and one is fear. Which one wins is the one you feed.

The thoughts of love are joy, peace, acceptance, hope, kindness, empathy, humility, and truth.

The thoughts of fear are anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, dishonesty, judgment, and ego.

Which one do you choose to feed? It is essential because overcoming fear will allow you to become a better human being. You are making your life and the lives of those around you a better experience only by consciously choosing the positive thoughts, words, and actions of love over those of fear. Be fearless.

Action Kills Fear

If you asked most people what they would like to do, they would tell you, but then follow it up with a list of reasons they can’t possibly do that right now. Lack of funds, time, freedom, acceptance, fearunderstanding are all reasons to keep dreams at a distance. These are all words of fear of talking.  The truth is behind the excuses is a fear of failure. A doubt has arisen in all of us since the beginning of our lives. But one that cane destroyed as quickly as all others.

The remedy to fear is action. Fear will kill your dreams, and work will open the doorway to achievement. Taking a vision from thought to action is scary because of all the things that can go wrong.  It is courage that allows you to move forward, take action, and see what happens.  No matter what happens, there are answers on the other side of action. Those answers will make your goals and dreams a reality or provide you with a roadmap of getting where you want to go.  Be brave and take action toward whatever it is you want to achieve. Be undaunted by potential failure. To do anything else is to cower in the darkness, hoping someone will stumble across your greatness.  Develop your excellence through action and defeat your fears.

Fear the Constant Companion

Fear is a constant companion in life. It is the brain trying to keep you safe.  But it is just a thought, and you have to decide what kind of life you will live. Life comes with no guarantees, and there are going to be situations that hurt you. That is life.  Learning to muster the courage to keep living fearfully, even though pain may happen, is how great experiences are created.  The only person who can be brave for you is you, so developing this talent will allow you to have the potential to accomplish anything.

So be conscious today and every day about the fears that are controlling your life. Where do they come from? What action will overcome it?  Become aware of your thoughts, words, and works around fear, and strive continuously to overcome it.  This conflict between your mind and your concern is the most significant battle we all face in life. Everything you dream about is on the other side of your victory over fear.

Questions about fear

What fears cause anxiety to you?

How do you deal with the emotion of fear?

What fears are most challenging for you to face?

How does fear help you in life?  How does it limit you?

Quotes About Fear

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.~Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. ~Marcus Aurelius

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.~Japanese Proverb

Be Fearless