Category Archives: 21

21

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

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Are there any truths that are universally accepted, no matter what? I think there are a few concepts whose value is universally positive and something you strive to practice in your life.  Because if you involve these things into your existence, then your life will provide more value to the world, and the world will offer more value to you.  Developing a foundation of trust is vital to cooperating with others and developing a long-term pattern of personal growth and interpersonal interactions.  The universal truths accepted and practiced will allow you to live a more positive, productive, and successful life.  Fairness, integrity, honesty, human dignity, growth, service, and quality are things we should strive for in our lives.

Fairness

The saying, “Life isn’t fair,” is one of the first I remember learning. But that is not true because life is ultimately fair, and looking to provide fairness in all we do is a positive aspect of a person’s personality.  There are equal opportunities for all people to pursue in life. There is money to be made, fame to garner, a joy to find, happiness to experience for everyone. Our attitudes about these things ultimately dictate how much we see.  Fairness is universal and always available. You are in control of how much you experience in life.

All people naturally strive to make things fair in any group setting.  Selfishness, of course, exists. It results when people create their self-worth around material possessions and fear they will not have enough. Enough money, property, ownership, or anything else a person can think and feel is a status symbol. But if you take all of that away, at our core, we can all recognize the value of fairness and how the practice makes life better.

Integrity

The moral code with which we live our lives will define who we are to ourselves and the world. What do you do when nobody is watching?  I have known many people who were quite hypocritical in this arena. Putting on a charitable, kind face in one situation but then being something entirely different in another.  Developing integrity inside yourself of kindness, honesty, compassion, and understanding is vital to becoming the best version of yourself, and I think it is the same for all people.

Each person decides this for themselves, and it is not something set in stone. Like all aspects of the human experience, it is developing throughout your life. You can improve your integrity and grow as you learn through life.  Being more positive is realizing your choices in all areas of personal development and deciding to “be better.”  That road is always available to you to change, grow, and have more integrity in your life.

Honesty

Being honest is a much more complicated concept than it should be.  Too often, we do not tell the truth because of fear. Fear of hurting someone else on the positive side or fear of losing something, lack, or pain on the less kind face of things. All people have lied at some time, and the repercussion of that act will stay with you forever.  Being an honest person is a skill like any other, and it brings the benefits of trust, faith, and appreciation with it.  It always amazes me how many people never focus on being honest when dishonesty leads to nothing but trouble and negative life experience.

Honesty is the best policy because you never have to remember what you said. The truth is always the truth, and it doesn’t change.  It also benefits improving your character, energy, and ability to make a positive impact on life. In this world, we live in can be a challenge, and the person it is most important, to be honest with is yourself.

We Are All The Same on the Inside

Too often, we define people by what we see on the outside and ignore the inside of someone.  We are all the same on the inside. We have thoughts and emotions which are telling us what to do and how we feel about things.  These things build through our conditioning and conscious thinking about living.  We determine if we treat others with human dignity or not. We understand that all people you encounter in all situations are just another version of you, and your compassion for their condition can only help. When you have a choice to be kind or not, be kind to another. Please treat them with respect and understanding.  Regardless of race, religious conviction, problems, body type, or mental capabilities, all have emotions and thought to dictate their existence. We are all in the same boat.

Try today to look at all people through this lens and see the commonalities existing within them.  Each person you see has a nonstop river of thought and emotion running inside of them, just as you do.  They are trying to make sense of the information they are taking in and the reality they are experiencing. Perception is our reality.  Separations exist to protect people in a physical, emotional, and mental way. If you look at everyone understanding their similarities rather than their differences, there is nothing to fear. We are all the same.

Growth or Death

It is the way of nature in all things to seek a growth path. To become better tomorrow than we are today or ever have been in the past. Each day of our lives provides us with the opportunity to grow from our current state of living, thought, and understanding of the world and become something more.  What precisely depends on us and how we approach our lives. It is my experience we are moving in one of two ways for the most part. We are getting better, or we are getting worse. I have seen people with nearly unlimited potential refuse to believe in themselves and wither away into a recluse of self-absorption.  I have seen other people with less talent continually work and strive to be better, and those people always win in the end.  Growth is a universal part of life, embrace it and become a better version of yourself tomorrow.

You can choose to follow a growth path today and become a better person than you were in the past. It is up to you to make the choices that lead you to think better, act better, and become a better person. These options are always there for you to make. The fiber of your existence will depend on the choice you make in this area. Are you getting better, or are you getting worse today?  Strive for better and improve a little bit, and your life will start to flourish.

Service

We are not put here in this life to do things for ourselves. The people who follow that path are narrow-minded, selfish, and unhappy at the end of the day.  Our lives are meant to have a purpose, and that will be revealed when you start to put the happiness of others ahead of yourself.  What service looks like to you will be unique to your talent, temperament, interests, and personal experience.  Rest assured that life will put you in a position to provide a service to others.

It is common to look at yourself and fear you don’t have anything to give anyone needs. That is a mistake; if nothing else, you can offer kindness, caring, understanding, empathy, happiness, joy, support, and tenderness to the world. That is the decision of service you can make in any life and at any time.  Is there any argument that these things will make the world a better place and you a significant contributor? Think of service in this vein, and all of the small ways you can make a positive difference will reveal themselves to you. Have to courage to give your service and change the world in a small positive way.

Quality

There is an opportunity on most days to show what quality you carry inside of you.  It may be any of the above characteristics you display in your interactions with others or just the patterns of thought you choose to pay attention to, but the quality of your life is an important thing to keep in mind.  Your class will show in everything you do. Not in the initial results of an activity, but do you practice the growth mindset and strive to get better? Or do you stick to the little thoughts about your abilities and shy away from being vulnerable enough to learn something new?

Your ultimate quality as a person will be determined by the positive or negative impact you have had on other people and their lives. This effect is a choice that you can make every day of your life and at every moment. Determine your quality and understand nobody, but you are responsible for the amount of quality your life provides others.  It is a sobering question to ask yourself how much quality you have provided to the world.

Finally……..

Take an honest look at your life at this moment and evaluate the direction it is moving in.  If you feel something is lacking, then start by looking at how each of these universal truths is being practiced in your life.  It may be an eye-opening and sobering experience. But one in which you can make choices to improve in any area you wish.  Need to be kinder? Make that choice.  Need to improve your integrity? Do that.  Need more honesty? Be honest.  There is always a chance in every new day to move your life in a different direction. It is up to you to decide if you will be moving in a direction more positive or negative than before.

“This life is what you make it. No matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes; it’s a universal truth.” – Marilyn Monroe.

“We can’t control what thoughts and emotions arise within us, nor can we control the universal truth that everything changes. But we can learn to step back and rest in the awareness of what’s happening. That awareness can be our refuge.” -Sharon Salzberg.

“Each of us embodies, in a particular tale and clothed in the garments of time & place, universal truth, and everlasting life.”- J.R.R. Tolkien. 

“The only time you have is the where and when of right now. There will always be good times, bad times, hard times, and complete disasters. However, there is no other option but to be where you are when you are. That is a universal truth for everyone. The important thing is how you respond, what you decide to do, and when you decide to do it.”- Chris Murray.

“Universal truth is not measured in mass appeal.” 

 

 

21

You Better Think

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Think-direct one’s mind toward someone or something; use one’s mind actively to form connected ideas.

We receive the most important tool we could ask for when we are born — the ability to think. Yet, so often, we waste the power of our thought on things that are petty, unproductive, selfish, and short-sighted.  The mind can do so much good when focused on the positive and so much mayhem if thinking in the negative. Nothing has ever arrived in the world that did not exist in someone’s mind first. It is through the power of their thought that turned whatever is into reality.  Look around you and see furniture, lights, fire extinguishers, chairs, or whatever else you see around you. They were nothing until someone thought of them in their mind and took steps to bring them into reality.  So today, I challenge you to focus on how you think.  A person becomes what they think about in life.  And, of course, how you think, what you say, and the actions you take will reveal what you are and what you will become.

Are You Positive or Negative?

Your thoughts control the energy you produce, plain and straightforward.  All people are both transmitters and receivers of energy. Either you will be positive or negative based on the tenor of the thoughts you entertain regularly. Favorable views of love, kindness, acceptance, understanding, and forgiveness will lead to a production of positive energy. These are the people who pick you up, make you feel good, and cause you to believe all things are better than you thought they could be.

On the negative side, thoughts focus on fear, judgment, non-acceptance, hate, meanness, or unforgiving. These negative thoughts come through in your words about others and will transcend into your actions. This energy transmits to all in your life, spouses, children, friends, and coworkers.  If your life seems like a negative experience where everyone is selfish and petty, look at your thoughts.  The negativity you create attracts other negativity.  Are you optimistic or pessimistic in your life? Your feelings tell everything. But on the positive side, you can change this experience whenever you choose to, by focusing on different thinking. Eliminate the negative and create some positive in your life.

Imagination Creates Everything

When you think, it is not all about facts. A mind is a creative tool if you allow it to be and use it as such. When we are young, our imaginations run the show. We create fantasies about what we will become, where we will go, what we will do, and everything about life.  As we grow, society tells us to stop daydreaming and get to work.  And we do. We are leaving behind the most powerful and joyful ways to think and forget to use our imaginations.

What could happen if we had all the people in the world using their imaginations to solve problems and create beautiful things?  Too many people are not controlling or noticing their thoughts at all. They just let them run in whatever direction they go like a wild animals. Wild animals are hard to corral and harness. Practicing meditation can allow us to focus our thinking and find the thoughts that resonate with us. Use your creative ideas to make things that will enable you to happiness and make the world a better place. Think with imagination. You are the only one who can think your thoughts and bring your perspective to the world.

Control what you Think

If you don’t control what you think others will.  That is a fact of life that becomes more apparent with each passing day. Look at the messages we are receiving from the media and telling you what to be afraid of, who you can’t trust, or what activities are acceptable.  Advertisers are no less invasive, selling your thoughts about what products will help you be healthy, famous, and in the end, happy.  Listen to those thoughts, and the only ones who will be satisfied are the people collecting your money.  Happiness comes from within you, not from outside of you.

When it comes to fear, that is a negative thought that allows others to control you.  If you’re always afraid, you will act a certain way.  Usually just like somebody else wants you to.  The danger is something that can hurt you, and you should be careful of it. Fear is just a thought that controls you. It makes you fall in line with the system. Support government actions of violence in the name of security. Justify poor treatment of people who are not “one of us.”  Look at your thoughts and honestly see which are your own and which belong to someone else.   Control Your thoughts, or someone else will.

Thinking Skills

Thinking it is a skill that can bring all things into your life, both positive and negative. The only person who is responsible for your thoughts is you. If you don’t like the energy of your life, change it with a conscious awareness of what you are thinking throughout your day.

The thoughts you decide to entertain will either bring great things in your life or create negatives.   You are a potent being, and your views are your weapons. They lead to everything about you. From what you will accept for treatment from other people to how much money you can make to the quality of your relationships.  Your thoughts determine all of these things. Your creativity in all things is nothing more than a different and unique way to capture and organize your thoughts.

Take some time to look at the thoughts you are entertaining today. See the emotions that are naturally attached to them. Observe the words you use to express these thoughts to the world.  Finally, the actions that you take will turn your dreams into reality.

“We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them.” – Albert Einstein. 

“There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”  ~William Shakespeare

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right.”   ~Henry Ford

 

21

Friendly Imagination

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Imagination- the faculty or action of forming new ideas or images or concepts of external objects not present to the senses.

The human mind is a powerful tool. It can recall information and perform intricate calculations while still managing to keep a physical body functioning appropriately. A mind can create imaginary situations and scenarios that allow us to create new things and unique events in our lives.

The mind has an imagination that can go to places that have never existed or might only exist in the future.  Unfortunately, this creative imagination can sometimes work against us. Fear creeps into our lives and starts to use our imaginations against us. You are creating worst-case scenarios that raise our anxiety levels about things that never have and probably never will happen. If you are experiencing this misuse of imagination, it is time to control your thoughts and use the power of your vision for you and not against you.  It is all up to the ideas you choose to entertain, the corresponding emotions you will deal with because of your choice—the words you use to describe things. And the actions you take to enhance or diminish the power of your imagination.

What Can Go Right?

Too often, we spend our thoughts worrying about what might go wrong.  This fear is a thing that develops over time. As we experience suffering in life, we try to create a safety zone in our minds where nothing unexpected ever happens. The working theory is that if we can imagine the worst, it won’t take us by surprise, and we can handle it if it happens.  So we weave tales of terror and woe and play out our imaginary reactions to the situations.  Although they are in our minds, the stress they create is felt by us.  It is hard to experience happiness if you only imagine the most painful things your life can bring.

Rather than spend your time worrying about what might go wrong, how about switching your focus to what can go right? One of the more powerful tools of creation we have is our imagination. Used to imagine a successful result, it can move you down the path to creating that very thing in your life. Think of a goal achieved and how that is going to feel for you. Put it aside and start taking action toward making that thing a reality. Your imagination can help keep you motivated and show you how good life can be when your goals come into existence.  Also, there is the added benefit. When your mind is creating positive thoughts, the negative thought train shuts down.  Focus on what can go right rather than what might go wrong.

Overcoming Anxiety

It seems like we feel we have to know all the answers.  Well, nobody has this ability.  Since our youngest days, we have been conditioned to be “smart” and never look “stupid” and always have the answer.  This mindset is a fixed way of thinking where people seem to believe either we have a talent or not.  Some lucky people start to realize that we are not born with all the answers or abilities. Those things are developed through the learning process and become whatever version of ourselves we want.

The larger group would rather pretend to know the answer rather than reveal a lack of knowledge.  The fear that people might find out this “weakness” is one of the causes of anxiety. They fear that they will reveal as less of a person or a person of less value.  It is an illusion of perfection our society demands, but it is just an illusion.

Nobody is perfect, and nobody knows everything.  When we start to look at all situations as opportunities for growth, rather than tests our current knowledge and base our value on it, anxiety will lessen in our lives.  So what if you don’t know everything? That is called learning. Having a growth mindset sets you free to learn, improve, and become your best at whatever you want to excel at in your life.  Your only limits of accomplishment are then the limits of your imagination.  Rather than using your imagination to conjure up how other people see you negatively, use it, creating a real-world, achieving what you want.

Only So Much Room

Finally, remember worry is a misuse of your imagination, and it will only fill your head with fear and anxiety.  These are forces that can destroy your health and make you unhappy.  Thoughts develop in patterns, and if you are in a mode of worry, it is all you can think of, and there isn’t any room in your head for anything else.  It makes sense to take logical steps for your safety and well-being, but to obsess about negative things happening to you and those you love is a negative chute. It is hard to come out of and change direction.  There is only so much room in your head, just like in your house. Why fill it with junk? It costs you the delight of space and positivity.   Look at your thoughts and how they affect your imagination today.  Use your imagination wisely.

“Worry is a misuse of your imagination.”- Dan Zadra

“Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.”- A.S. Roche

“We will weather the weather,

Whatever the weather,

Whether we like it or not.”

 

21

Moving Forward

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Life is a Journey; we choose our direction alone.

Life is a journey from where we are in this moment to where and what we want to be in the future.  Some people listen to the things others tell them in regards to how their lives should look.  What job to have, where to live, how to live, what to like, how to spend your leisure time. The opinions of others will guide all of our activities and thoughts if you let them, like sleepwalking through your life. Then some people start to notice living like this, doing what someone tells you to do. Despite the fact it feels empty and unfulfilling, is no way to live.  It is for these people I am writing this. We are all on a spiritual journey, whether we choose to realize it or not.  The movement of growth in our lives is happening, and We are all moving forward into our development or hiding in the safety of our past.  That is the choice you are making every day.  Here are a few simple thoughts and tools to help you move into a more aware life of your journey.

Develop a mindset of Growth

Since growth involves moving forward, it seems our development mindset will be a vital tool to develop.  Carol Dweck wrote a whole book about it, but to me, merely understanding we can move our lives in any direction we want. The first step is not to let our patterns of thinking stop us. I know many talented and potentially great people stop themselves from success by their fixed mindsets. Look at your thoughts and evaluate where they land. I am not telling you what is good or bad for you. That is a choice we all make for ourselves.  The way forward is growth, and you are the determining factor about what you learn and what you don’t, just as I am the determining factor for me.

Fixed mindsets believe you have the talent to do something, or you don’t. If you can’t do something on the first try, you shouldn’t even try.  A growth mindset sees life as a process. You may not be able to master something in one attempt, but if you keep trying, you will eventually find success. Fixed mindset people are so afraid of being wrong and judged as faulty, they never even try anything new. A life of fear is a life of safety, but you won’t become what you want to be.  A growth mindset embraces the new, tries for the experience, not for the result.  All ends will bring you a lesson and valuable information so that the next try will be different and more successful.  What is your mindset today?

How Do You Move?

Is your choice taking you towards or away from the best version of yourself?

Each of us has an image of the ideal person we want to be. It may be how you physically want to look, or how much money you want to have in the bank, or the relationship you want to share your life.  All of our choices are either moving us toward this ideal or away from it.  Think about that, you make thousands of small decisions every day, and each one is pushing you in a direction and toward a result.  Being aware of your choices and what they mean for your desired results gives you the power to move closer to being the best version of yourself.

Where do you move to today? If you desire a great body, what food you choose to put into your mouth, the exercises you do, and the sleep you decide to get will determine your health — moving you closer or farther away from that idea. It is most important to take responsibility for our movement. It is our decisions that impact us in one direction or another.  If I choose to be in a relationship with a self-centered narcissist, am I moving closer or further away from my ideal relationship? I have to take responsibility for my choice, which has driven me further away from where I want to be. All of our decisions have power and direction. Keep this in mind as you make your thousands of choices today. Are you moving toward or away?

The Point of Choice

Let’s start looking at those choices we make in more detail.  In all instances, even the most snap decisions we make, there is a moment where two or more roads are available and open to us. This location is the point of choice, and it is from here we form and create our lives. I know I have allowed the subconscious autopilot of my mind to make too many choices for me. There is comfort in choosing the things you have

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always done. You can clearly understand the results. But it is essential to realize just because you always choose one thing. There are a host of other possibilities out there waiting for you in the world. You can always choose a different path.

Take time in your day and look at the decisions you make consciously.  Why are you choosing the coffee you drink? The route to work? What do you wear? How do you speak to others? How do you think about other people? Is it the result you want to allow you to grow? Or are these things the choices you have always made? Safe and sound moments that hold you solidly in the past and place. You will not become something else if you cling to the mold of what you currently are. So often, it isn’t the decisions we make but our judgments about them that determine how they affect our lives.  We think something is terrible. After all, our mothers told us it was good because we saw a commercial in the media telling us exactly how to think and feel about things.  Your choice is to be a sheep or to make your path.

In the End, You Make Your Life

It is a result of your choices of the substance of your life springs. Complain if you want. Be angry about how much money you have and the career you are experiencing. Be disappointed with your relationships in life.  Then understand that you have been the creator of it all and the choices you have made.  Now you have the chance to move in a different direction, in a movement of positive growth. Have the understanding of yourself and your journey and know a step into the uncertain abyss of life is a step into development, and hiding where you are in the safety of the simple, is a trap. Get out of the web.  Life is a journey from where we are right now in this moment to where and what we want to be in the future.

“Don’t go through life; grow through life.” – Eric Butterworth

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” – Abraham Maslow

“Strive not to be a success, but rather to be of value.” – Albert Einstein

“What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.” – Jane Goodall

“Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it, and eventually, the confidence will follow.” – Carrie Fisher.

 

21

Excitement

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What gets you excited about life?

We should all be this excited by the prospect each day brings!
We should all be this excited by the prospect each day brings!

No matter what they do, every person has to find things that get him excited about life. They do not have to be complicated or expensive things. They get you going and allow you to feel happy about just living on the face of the Earth every day. 

I would never presume to speak for anyone but myself, but here are the things that I enjoy and make my existence a much more enjoyable experience.

1. Learning and Reading

learningWhen I was a young person, I did not care all that much for learning. It was something that you had to do to get to the next step in life.  This is the wrong way to present education in my mind.  All of us can learn and expand our minds into whichever areas interest us and strike our fancy.

In the past few years, I have learned more than at any time of my life, and it was all done by my desire to expand my mind.

It was not because of what anyone else thought or because I took a class to get a degree.  Learning was taking place because I wanted to be a better person and live a more meaningful life.   Learning gets me excited about living life today and looking forward to the future.

2. People Are Just Awesome

Few things get me more excited about life than the people I have met.  Each person is a unique mixture of personality and intelligence that allows them to contribute to the world in their own unique and powerful way.

Knowing these kinds of people are out there in the world, looking for the best way to live or just making the best of what life has given them, gets me excited about life.  I know that if the good people I have come in contact with are in charge of the world, the future is in good hands.   The people I know get me excited about life.

3. Change Is Always Happening

changeThere is one thing that I am sure of about life, and change will occur no matter what you do. 

Some of the changes you experience are going to flow smoothly, and some are going to rattle your cage a little bit more.

There is only one choice to make though, either you can fight against the inevitable change, which will lead to pain, grief, and sorrow. Or you can choose to roll with the changes that come your way.

I am choosing to ride with the winds of change because they are blowing whether I like it or not.  That is why I have decided to let the life changes excite me about living rather than force me into a depression about what I used to be.  Sometimes the things that change are precious to me, but some seasons come and go, and there are unique and beautiful experiences in those seasons.

Enjoy them while they last because they will change as surely as winter will follow autumn and summer will follow spring.  These changes get me excited about life.  It would be boring if nothing ever changed, ever!

4. The Boston Red Sox and Baseball

awesome red soxBaseball is not for everyone. It is a sport that seems to be moving at a leisurely pace but is not.

A mental aspect to the game should keep you interested and engaged throughout a game or a season.  The Red Sox are a passion for me because they are the team of my family.

The love of this team had tied generations together, and even when there was a hard time finding common ground, we could all state an opinion about the Red Sox.

This love of the Red Sox gets me excited about life because it connects me with the people in my life who I have cared about who is gone. I remember when my grandfather took us to Fenway for the first time.  It was the quintessential ballpark experience.

I walked up the stairs leading to the field, and the area was so green, the uniforms looked so white, and they’re a few feet from me was Dwight Evans, Jim Rice, and Carl Yastremski.   Then I glanced over at the green monster. I was around 9 or 10 years old that day, and any question I had about loving that team was answered on that day.

It is interesting to note about my grandfather. He was born in 1920 and died in 1993, so he never saw them win a world series. I like to think he was feeling the vibe I sent to him in 2004.  He would never have believed it.  I sent a special prayer to him that night because the Red Sox got us both excited about life.

5. Writing from my Inner Thoughts

quotes-about-writing-4Finally, there is the practice that has come to take up so much of my time.  For many years I fought against the urge to express myself in words and to arrange them in only the shortest and simplest patterns.

My prose expressed very little about myself or what I thought or felt.  It is only recently, like the melting ice at the end of winter, that the words have started to flow.

6. Creativity, I believe, is the key to unlocking your unique talents and thoughts.  If you are stuck at anything then, do something creative.  Draw, write, paint, sculpt, knit, spin, whatever you can do to be creative will lead you to the answer you are looking for.  Writing for me is the way I answer the questions that life has thrown at me.

I once worried about the quality of my words and the judgment they might render from others, but I have learned to let that go.  My words are mine. They express what I think, and anyone reading them can like them, hate them or ignore them completely.  That is their prerogative.  I can’t write anything for the sake of pleasing someone else, and it would be a waste of time.

Writing allows my inner thought to have an outer expression, the voice that can’t speak, speaks through the written word, and that is why writing gets me excited about life!

What gets you excited about life?

21

Questions of Life

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“He that cannot ask cannot live……..”

Life is full of questions. One of the best ways to gain information is to ask others who already have the knowledge you want to get.  If you want to make changes in your life’s experience, learning to ask questions is essential. Being willing to show you don’t know something to learn something is following the growth mindset.  Why is this the case? How do questions work? That is what I hope to answer here, today.

How do Questions work?

Asking a question immediately changes your focus.  The tone of the question will guide a person to investigate more of the same.  What am I happy about?  This is a question that is going to lead you to focus on what you are pleased about. You have no choice if you answer it.  It will lead to a list of positive things, and it is challenging to feel poorly after that.  If you ask, am I disappointed with you? Then you will open up that negative path for you.

This focus can work in conversations with other people as well. Guice them on a more positive path by asking them the right questions.  Others have to be willing to go down that path, but if they take a few steps and start answering the question, the rest will take care of themselves.  Questions dictate your focus, so ……….What could I be happy about? What is excellent in my life right now? What are you truly grateful for?  

Thoughts We Want from Questions

In establishing that focus on questions, you are allowed to determine precisely what you delete from your consciousness at this moment. Focusing on what you want to have will allow you to eliminate all oppositional thoughts.  The human mind can only hold one idea at a time, and if you are focusing your thoughts on what you want or need to do to get it, the seeds of doubt have no room even to be planted, let alone an opportunity to grow.

Challenges are going to occur in life. Rather than spending your time complaining about the challenge and giving away all your power, spend some time asking good questions about the challenge and determine how to eliminate it from your life for good. Learn to focus on your desires and delete all oppositional and negative thinking.   What can I learn from this challenge?  How can I grow from this? 

What is Available to You?

Everyone has a list of resources available to them. These are the people and things we can count on to help us achieve our goals. Learning to ask meaningful questions can lead you to contact new people or develop a new skill.  How can I turn this around? What is here that I am not seeing?  What action can I take right now that will move me closer to my goal?

As you ask questions, the mind has no choice but to seek an answer. That is how we work if we are sober and thinking straight.  How can my performance and production be improved? Learn to be curious toward positive achievement, and positive achievement is what you will experience.  Questions will open doors, not only for outside opportunities but more importantly for inner growth and personal empowerment through action.

Hear. Listen well, take manageable actions and do the best you can.

How can asking questions change your life today? 

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco

“The key to wisdom is this – constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question, by questioning we arrive at the truth.” – Peter Abelard

“A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.” – Bruce Lee

Does anybody know what time it is?

https://youtu.be/8qssWO8NSq0

 

21

Like It or Not

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How I often approach change. It can be scary!
How I often approach change. It can be scary! I need to perfect the art of laughing!

There is little in life as frustrating as change. Whether we want it or not, it comes along in life and forces us to do something other than what we have been doing, whether we are ready to stop doing it.

Most people, if not all people, have at least a passing disdain for change, and I think there are good reasons for this, yet I think we also all are well aware that change provides positives we need. How to deal with this mystery of inevitable and painful movement from one phase of life to another? That is the inevitable question.

Why Change is Hard

As humans, I think it is natural that we find comfort in routine.  It is always safe to get up at the same time, follow the same patterns of life.  Depart for work at about the same time each morning and throughout whatever you do during the day.

accepted or changedWe do this because it is safe, we do this because it represents order, we do this because it is reassuring. If you don’t think so, disrupt someone’s routine, even for one day, and watch their reaction. It is all a perception and illusion of control. We control so little in reality that seeming in control of our routine gives us comfort.

Our minds are constantly seeking safety and the ability to know where our place in the world is.  The world will not end if you do something different, but sometimes it may just feel like it.

Choosing to Change

process not eventIf you are choosing to change, then something must be significantly amiss. In my life, these choices of change have been around wanting to get into shape or a different job, but deep down, they were because I was not happy with life as it was, and the only chance to find happiness was to change.

It could be a new workout routine, a new job, or a new relationship. New is a nice word for change and makes you feel better about what you are doing. It also gives confidence to the outcome, which is always unknown.

One of the great things about choosing to change is that you feel like you have some sort of power in the decision-making process. It may be an illusion, but it still provides you with a great chance to feel empowered.  Enjoy that kind of change because the other type isn’t so very nice.

The Other Kind of Change

change 1This is the change that comes on you from nowhere and doesn’t give you an option. It simply gives you change.  Death of a loved one, an accident, an illness, a spouse leaves you, or you are laid off from a job.

There are many examples of this, and these are the changes that can kick your teeth in and jump up and down on you until you don’t think you can take it another second. The great unwanted moments of life upsetting your nicely ordered life.

Unwanted change is like the tide, inevitably pouring in no matter how you try to stop it, and it leaves behind a clean landscape.  Often the changes required of us are so significant we get swallowed up by them for a time. There is an almost numb feeling like life is happening and you are there, but you are more observer than a participant. This is a temporary feeling.  Until you get your bearings back and can navigate through the new circumstances, be brave in times of change, and eventually, you will gain your bearings.

Hope of Change

change sailsEven though this change can be pretty awful to experience, it is not the end of the world.  It just seems like it.

When you can look at change from the experience of surviving it, you can start to appreciate the growth you have had.  The pain of loss or suffering has become a part of your history, faded a bit, and now is replaced with wisdom.  This is the learning that life will give you one way or another.

It is a frightening proposition. If things are going great, you should appreciate them for all of their nuances and uniqueness. The hope in change is that it will always bring us closer to where we should be, meaning to me, closer to our authentic selves. We have to be aware of what lesson is being taught.

In my journey, there were times I was satisfied yet unaware that I was many, many miles away from where I needed to get. To be the best version of myself. Whether I am any closer to that is yet to be determined, but I am hopeful.

My Choice of Change

I promise myself that I will go easy on my fear of change and realize that it is just a natural reaction and emotion. People often will stick with a job, relationship, or life that isn’t working because even though they may not be ideal, they are known and therefore less scary than the unknown coming down the road even though the unknown may be perfect.

Cast off your line and let your ship move into change seamlessly.  There is no avoiding the specter of change, and your only choice is to fight and resist it or to ride the wave like a surfer.

If there were no change, nothing terrible would ever get better!

Songs of change:

 

21

Courage Quotes

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 Courage lets You go in the right direction

courage
King of the Forest

“If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t go anywhere.” –Unknown

Like everybody else in life, there have been times when I have been faced with circumstances that were not the most pleasant to deal with.  There are really only two choices as to how you decide to face these moments in life.  One is to act out of fear, that you may lose what you have worked for or be hurt irreparably by whatever misstep has come your way.  Or you can face the challenge of the situation head-on and with courage that you will not be conquered by the events of your life and you will not shrink from them.  You will come out on the other end a stronger, better person. Courage is defined as mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty

Quotes of Courage from the Cowardly Lion

I have always liked the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz, how he realizes that if he would just face his life with more courage he would be more happy and successful.  The best part is, that just like all of us, all of the courage that he ever needed was inside him all the time just waiting for him to have the confidence to use it. He just needs to get beyond the limiting belief that he is a coward and always will be.

The ability to summon up courage from inside yourself does not have to be done with a formal ritual, or a special process.  It has to be done by believing in yourself, and your value as a human being.  I know that is all well and good, but how do you really do that? Get by the catchphrase and summon up the courage that you need.

“Courage. What makes a King out of a slave? Courage.  
 What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage.     
What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk?   What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage.  
 What makes the Sphinx the 7th Wonder? Courage.  
What makes the dawn come up like THUNDER?! Courage.
 What makes the Hottentot so hot?   What puts the “ape” in ape-ricot?  Whatta they got that I ain’t got?   Dorothy & Friends: Courage!  
Cowardly Lion: You can say that again.

I Can And I Will-Quotes of Courage

courage will allow you to believeOne of the best frames of mind you can build to bring the courage out from inside you is to have the “I can and I will” mentality about life.

When you are faced with a difficult task, that you think you may struggle with, repeat this phrase to yourself, “I can and I will”.  At first, you may not quite believe it, as you try to fight through your own insecurities and fears.

Keep thinking it, “I can and I will”, soon as your past failures and personal limitations fall off to the side you will begin to feel the confidence of this statement, “I can and I will”, your own well of courage which is inside each of us will start to bubble to the surface.  At first like a few small bubbles but as you continue to think and believe, “I can and I will”, more and more will come to you.

Each challenge you face will be faced more and more easily with the courage you have inside you.  You will not always be successful, but you will start to realize that failure will not permanently define you, but your courage will.  You will start to reach higher for things you once never dreamed you had the ability to reach.  And if you fail? So what, “I can and I will” , what you are looking for will happen for you.

 Courage is better than fear

courage over fear,
F**k It You Can Do It

Why then is it so hard to reach inside and summon up the courage that is in each of us just waiting to be used?

Most often it is our own limiting beliefs that stop us from reaching for what we want.  Limiting beliefs are thoughts that have been said so much by ourselves or others that we have finally just stopped questioning them and accept them as true, regardless of what they do to us.

Examples, “I’m not smart enough”, “I don’t have the talent”, “I am too ugly”, “Good things only happen to other people”, “I can’t”,  there are many more.

As you can see if you allow yourself to be boxed into your life by believing statements that are limiting you, you will never be able to reach your potential.  And the bad part is that these limiting beliefs become, in ways, very comforting to us.  They explain why other people are happy and we are not.

If you are hearing that little voice inside your head that is repeating any of these types of limiting beliefs, there is one thing you can do today that will start to erode them away.  Just say, “To heck with that, I’m awesome.”  This phrase carries with it the appropriate emotional emphasis to get you through whatever limits you have placed on yourself and/or your abilities.  Try it when your limiting thoughts come up, “I’m too fat.”  Reply with, “To heck with that, I’m awesome, I am not defined by my weight.”

You will find that once you start to overcome these limiting beliefs, there isn’t really a lot of things that can stand in your way.   Another example is, “Success in business is for other people, not me.”To heck with that, I am as smart and deserving as anyone else in the world.  I can be successful, all I need to do is try.”  Try this with one of your own limiting beliefs and you will see that you have the courage to fight for yourself and to get what you deserve to be happy.  Because the bottom line is that we all deserve to be happy, even you! Our minds need to be reminded of this continually. If you don’t control your mind, someone else will.

I could rattle on all day, but the essence of this article can be boiled down into one sentence that I hope you will read and remember:

We all have courage inside us that will allow us to achieve all of the great things we want to achieve if we will just use it.

That is it, put aside the fear, and limiting beliefs that have held you down for years and summon up the courage that we all have to strive for a dream, or to reach for the goal.  You may or may not get there, but courage allows the journey, and the journey is what life is all about.

 

Quotes of Courage

“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.”  – Ambrose Redmoon

Courage is not living without fear.    Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway.     – Chae Richardson

Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying, “Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got things to do.”   -Author unknown

 

Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.—Thoreau

It is easier to find a score of men wise enough to discover the truth than to find one intrepid enough, in the face of opposition, to stand up for it. –A.A. Hodge

It is curious—curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.– Mark Twain

Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathy with despised and persecuted ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences. —Susan B. Anthony

Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.–Unknown

Silence is evil’s closest ally. –Gary Amirault

Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.—Mark Twain

You must be the change you wish to see in the world.—Gandhi

New paradigms put everyone practicing the old paradigm at risk. The higher one’s position, the greater the risk. The better you are at your paradigm, the more you have invested in it, the more you have to lose by changing paradigms. –Joel Arthur Barker

True courage is not the absence of fear—but the willingness to proceed in spite of it.–Unknown

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. –William Shakespeare

A certain amount of opposition is great help to a man. Kites rise against, not with the wind. – John Neal

Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage—to move in the opposite direction.– E. F. Schumacher

In the end, they wanted security more than they wanted freedom. –Edward Gibbon (The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire)

Everyday courage has few witnesses. But yours is no less noble because no drum beats for you and no crowds shout your name. –Robert Louis Stevenson

One man with courage makes a majority.– Andrew Jackson

We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. – Plato

To know how to say what other people only think, is what makes men poets and sages; and to dare to say what others only dare to think, makes men martyrs or reformers. –Elizabeth Rundle

Fear comes from the Adamic nature—faith comes from the Christ nature– Jacquelyn K. Heasley

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.–Robert Frost

People tend to want to follow the beaten path. The difficulty is that the beaten path doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere.–Charles M. Mathias

If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t go anywhere. –Unknown

But the bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them,glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it. –Thucydides

I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is -try to please everybody.–Herbert Bayard Swope

Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.–James Bryant Conant –

The greatest mistake is life is to be continually fearing that you will make one. –Elbert Hubbard

All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions.–Adlai E. Stevenson

Evil triumphs when good men do nothing. –Edmund Burke

I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom. –Bob Dylan

Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave. –Mark Twain

There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root. — Henry David Thoreau

The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. –Martin Luther King Jr

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. –Anais Nin

 

 

21

Reflections

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We reflect on taking the lessons and providing value to our experiences.

Recently I had a birthday, which means many years ago, I entered this game of life and am still trying to figure out how the swirl of thoughts, emotions, and corresponding actions connect to build our lives.  I always thought I would have all the answers by now, but life is a tricky experience. You move past one veil, answering some questions only to find there are five more waiting for you there.  On your birthday, I think it is your obligation to yourself and the experience of life to look at the lessons you struggled with, overcame, mastered, or are still working on over the past year.  By assessing your experiences and taking the lessons, they teach with gratitude. It is possible to make even outwardly negative things favorable for you.  So here is my look back at the last year, a reflection of gratitude. Also though this was not an easy year, easy life is not necessarily a good life.

How has my year been?

I think it is best to reflect on the year in lessons learned, and here are a few of the valuable things I have learned. There have been many challenges, a ton of new information as well.  So with all that a great year, I also managed to make it to the gym every day of the year.

Enjoy every moment because life will change, and those things you love may be gone, and there is no way to bring them back.  We are only really guaranteed this moment, and that is it.  If you share it with someone else, that makes it a memory.  I am grateful for all the moments I have shared with others over the past year.

I am responsible for my level of happiness and enjoyment of life. It isn’t anyone else’s fault if I am not happy with my life, job, or choices.  There are going to be times which are easier to be pleased with than others. It is up to us in our experience to choose to enjoy them or not.  Not everything is pleasant, and there has been plenty of difficulty and pain in my year, but I prefer to focus on the good rather than the bad.  There is always some glimmer of good behind a cloud of sadness.  Seek it.

Deal with your emotions, or they will deal with you. We all have feelings, and they are attached to every thought we produce in our minds.  To ignore them is to ignore a message from your heart. We often get a negative feeling, and we don’t like it, so we move away from it as quickly as possible.  I hope I have learned to move toward it, look at it, and understand it a little bit more.  Sadness, anger, fear, and emotional cousins are not favorable to experience, but they are a natural part of being human and not so scary to handle.

Embrace them, see the thoughts that brought them to you. Usually, it is some residual memory of the experience, and always understanding takes away the fear and allows you to heal. I have recovered a lot this year.  There is minimal teaching provided to us, helping a person learn how to develop emotional health. We are at the mercy of intellect and experience.

Enemies and Friends.  This year I have learned how our thoughts can be our greatest enemies. How we choose to think about ourselves, our abilities and other people control much of our reality.  A change in perspective and the way you feel about things can make your whole life seem different.  The human mind, both complex and pleasant, can only focus on one thought at a time, and you control where that focus lies if you want to.  Where your attention goes, energy flows, and if you are spending time on the negative, you will find more negative. If you spend time on the positive, then you will find more positive.  This focus will determine how you see yourself and control what you can accomplish in life. Your thoughts always and drive you towards a direction you would like your life to take.

Learning is power.  I have increased the things I learn about by merely using my commute time for knowledge rather than just mindlessly listening to music.  Music is excellent, and I love it, but all the thoughts tied to it are from the past. I have started filling that time with podcasts, TED Talks, philosophy, audiobooks, and anything else to teach me something positive. Of course, it has helped me learn and put me in an intensely positive mood entering any day. Which has helped me, and I think it helped others as well.  Learn wherever you can, new ideas, how someone else did what you want to do.  All knowledge makes you better and drives you to new creations and accomplishments.  Learn, grow, be better.  Our growth is never complete, no matter how old we are.

My year was good, like any, I think. There were high highs and low lows. Sometimes I was very good at dealing with things and others. I was a work in progress, and that is OK.  People have loved me, and some have hated me for whatever reason. In the logbook of my life, I think it has been a watershed year and one I will continue to learn.

Am I Satisfied With My Choices?

We make a thousand decisions every day. One of the things I learned about this year is that we make 95% of our choices subconsciously every day, which means our programming is running our life most of the time. If that programming is faulty, you will be continually making the same mistakes, doing the same things which may not be so good for you.  So I have made several small changes I hope will have lasting effects on my success and enjoyment of life.

Time of reflection-  I have tried to add short moments during the day to take inventory of what is happening during the day. One is at lunchtime. I try

Look into the sky tonight and know I am here today, in a year, in ten thousand years.

to take just five minutes during the day to enjoy the moment. Wherever it is. If the weather is beautiful and I am outside, then to be experience happiness about being alive at that moment, looking at a blue sky, or seeing a bird fly by. These things can affect my thoughts and make me happier and feel a connection to the positive in life.   Another moment I have taken is no matter how busy, hectic, or long a workday has been, I take five minutes at night to sit outside and look up at the night sky and be grateful.  I look at the stars each night for just a few minutes, and it reminds me of all the people I have known who are gone. I often wonder how many others are looking at the same sky and having similar thoughts.  Maybe there are none. I hope that after reading this, there will be just one more.  These moments have brought a little balance and daily gratitude to my experience of life this year. I am delighted with this choice.

Forgiveness- I think it is human nature to look at situations that hurt us, be angry at the people involved, and cast blame in their direction.  I have made a choice not to do this. I am responsible for my emotions and the situations I have put myself in. I forgive anyone who hurt me and ask for their forgiveness for anything I have done.  That is a choice that makes me happy. Life is too short to waste being angry with past events. Especially when the future may be the story you choose to write today.  I wish to focus on the road I am on and what might be ahead because the best days are just around the corner.

In a nutshell, I am pretty happy with the overall choices I made this year because they have placed me here at this moment, and that is a pretty great moment to be experiencing.

I did My Best

I have been nowhere near perfect, but perfect is overrated.  In the seams of mistakes, we learn the lessons that allow us to develop our knowledge, skills, and authentic personalities. I hope I have done my best to treat others well, take the lessons of the past, and apply them positively to my life.  I did my best to be healthier both mentally and physically to be fully present in the current moments I have.  In that way, I can enjoy things like writing this or going to the gym later and then just having time to contemplate, read, learn, or enjoy whatever is happening at that moment.  In the final analysis, faced with positive and negative experiences, I have endeavored to be true to myself and remain on the positive side of things. I have tried my best. It hasn’t always been easy, but that makes it valuable.  My heart is at peace.

In the words of Rob Thomas…….. I am not afraid of getting older. I am one less day from dying young………….

 

21

Perseverance

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Knowing what you want can be the most challenging thing to become aware of for many people.  Knowing what you want is a big thing. It sounds like it would be easy to state what you want, like enjoying a lot of money, love in your life, or freedom to do what you want.  All of these are great but very vague and lack purpose.  The why of any goal is going to provide the fuel to the achievement of any kind.

Every goal and desire will come with a series of steps that need to be accomplished to reach the great purpose.  This is the journey. As with any trip, it is going to take perseverance to run a successful conclusion.  That is the ability to keep moving forward despite obstacles and setbacks you encounter on your way.  Developing a solid case of perseverance is the key to most successful adventures because you can keep your eye on the prize and overcome whatever gets in your way.

Nothing Is Perfect

Many times, we start a journey, and we have expectations built up in our minds about what a successful conclusion will look like. We become so attached to that vision that any other decision, regardless of value, makes us suffer. Allowing things to come to us in their way and time makes the most sense.

It is often easier to do nothing at all and take no steps toward your goals because you are worried that you will fail. And then what will happen to your grand plans? Rather than worrying about failure, think of how you can turn a perceived setback into a positive in your life.  All goals and accomplishments are completed in a process, and there are lessons to learn on the journey. Nothing is going to go perfectly as you see it in your mind all the time.  There may be valuable nuggets of information that you need to find before ultimate success is yours. Often, the hurdles you have to jump and the rocks you navigate around provide the best memories.

Set an Intention and Stick To It

One of the best ways to maintain your momentum in pursuit of your goals is to develop a positive and powerful intention that is easy to understand and easy to stick with. The power of intention is to allow your energy to be directed toward a goal in a concentrated way.  It will also act as a compass for you when you get a little bit off track. Writing down your intentions gives you a chance to feel if it is something you want to accomplish.

Intentions are the key to starting the ignition of accomplishment and knowing exactly what we want.  As I said before, many people drift around different things, never committing to what they want. That leads to a life of floating around, fluttering from one thing to another. Choose an intention, make it a goal, follow it to its conclusion, and evaluate it. Just because you think you might want something doesn’t mean you do.  And that is just fine.  It is called learning, and that is what life is all about.  Set an intention and stick to it until it comes into reality. Then choose another one and do the same thing again.  How else can you live the life you live.

Attention Please

Along with thinking about where you would like to go is paying attention to daily focus. Are you distracted by work? Other projects? Fears? Lack of confidence? Or is your attention focused on the things in your day that will lead you toward your goals and intentions? Where your attention goes, that thing will grow.  If your attention is removed from it, then that thing will dwindle into nothingness.

Focus your attention on the positive things you want in your life. No matter what you want, make a plan, follow it through, focus on your goals, intentions, attention, and stick to it no matter what.

Take These Steps

  1. Determine what you want to achieve.
  2. Break down how you will get there.
  3. Write it down.
  4. Make it stick.
  5. Do one thing every day that brings you closer to your goals.

“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”-Albert Einstein.

“I will persist until I succeed. Always will I take another step. If that is of no avail, I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult. I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.”- Og Mandino.

“A failure is not always a mistake. It may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.”-B.F. Skinner.