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22

We Stand The Same

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It is not unusual for someone to create a judgment of someone based on what you see on the outside. It is in our instinct to categorize people and organize them into easy-to-digest pieces where we can make assumptions about their background, financial situation, and motives. Is someone a threat? Are they someone it would be valuable to make an ally? These thoughts rush through your mind, and they are expensive in the short term to attempt to control your life. But life is not controllable, and judging people in this manner causes you to be short-sighted, closed-minded, and, most importantly, judgemental of others.

The problem of judgment is that we tend to accept our initial thoughts about someone as reality when, in fact, they are based only on our views with no factual basis whatsoever. This scenario creates a line of separation between us and others, which can be dangerous. In the least, it can be cruel to someone, and its worst forms can lead to dehumanizing other people, leading to hate, mistrust, prejudice, discrimination, and all sorts of negatives. A more comprehensive view is my challenge to you. Look at all people you meet from this moment forward on the inside. Because on the inside, you will see much more of what you have in common than what separates you. Look on the inside.

Alone Time

We all have a fundamental need to be a part of things and be understood for the person we are, the thoughts we think, and the feelings that result. Some people are more independent than others and enjoy more alone time. I like to have time to myself, but I also need time with other people. To some degree, we are all the same. Through our interactions with others, we find experiences of growth and development. I value the perspective of people who are different from me. Each time you meet a new person and have a conversation, you will grow slightly. And growth is the point of this existence.

Sometimes, it seems easier to put up walls and isolate yourself from others. They can be challenging, and understanding others can take some effort. Once you build walls to keep yourself safe from others, it is difficult for anyone to get in. So you are quite literally sitting by yourself, and that is where loneliness and isolation can influence you. Being lonely is dangerous because it skews your vision of the world and yourself. You feel something is lacking within yourself and your life, which is human interaction. Through this, we know we are not alone in this process, and we can take another perspective on things. Weigh that vision and make the parts of it that resonate with us. There is a feeling we all have inside of belonging and being accepted. It takes others for this to happen. We are all feeling lonely and separated in our lives sometimes. Be kind where you can and help someone else contact a little less alone. It takes very little to let someone know you see them and their humanity. Find a situation where you can do this today.

Our Thoughts

On the inside of every person, I see two rivers continuously running. One is of thought, and the other is our emotions. They are connected and continually flowing throughout our lives. Our mind is a tool that helps us navigate problems and create things, and that river of thought will help you. Even though many of the ideas flowing by us are repeated or unnecessary, the amount of attention we give them provides them with any power. Placing your focus on the wrong thing will affect how relevant it is in your life. As human beings, we all function the same way. Our thoughts are created in our minds and our experience and programming. It is up to us to be open-minded to seek new experiences and people to bring new ideas into our river of thought.

A mind is a great thing to have because appropriately used. It can help you master your life and existence and bring happiness and joy to the lives of others. Your mind can bring suffering and despair to you and all those you encounter during the day. The direction of your influence comes from conscious decisions we make about the thoughts we pay attention to in life. We all have the same choices here. Focus on the ideas of love or focus on the ideas of fear. This choice dictates everything we experience in personal relationships, friendships, and every aspect of life. Do you dare to reach out? Or do you pull back in fear of rejection or looking foolish? We are all the same inside, and there is a river of thought flowing through all people. Some have a deeper stream than others, and all we can do is test the waters and see if we can positively expand our minds or not.

Emotions

The other river is one of the emotions tied directly to our thoughts. They go hand in hand. The views we choose to focus on will dictate the feelings we experience. It seems to be a cause-and-effect relationship we have been experiencing since birth and will until we leave this life. The difference is that you can become more conscious about this relationship and change the thoughts we choose to focus on and their corresponding emotions.

It is essential to know this because you are not unique in your emotional functions. All people are working on the inside in the same way. The differences come from our programming and experiences. One experience can change our lives for the better or present an emotional challenge. How we choose to deal with them will dictate our happiness at the moment and our effectiveness in life.

It is essential to realize how understanding our emotions and thoughts can lead to a more productive life. We have made connections through our experiences and joy, sadness, anger, frustration, longing, love, or any other emotion. Our thoughts can take a situation that is just a little bit similar to something from our past and interject positivity or despair into it based on programming. Understanding this emotional connection, we can evaluate what we are feeling and why. Are you angry at what just happened, or is it connected to something from your past? The difference is immense. Why get all upset and angry over something which occurred 20 years ago? That event is long gone and can’t be changed. It is up to you if you let the experience control your life today. When you look at someone else and their emotions, understand they are just like you on the inside and have some compassion and empathy.

Compassion and Empathy

Since we are all the same on the inside, we all have thoughts and emotions running nonstop for all of our lives. Take a little time, and work it into your life. Look at other people through the lens of connectivity rather than the view of separation. Allowing yourself to step inside of the shoes of another and see their thoughts and feel their emotions can give you an insight into life. The value of this is to adopt a philosophy of compassion for the struggles and difficulties faced by other people and make your little corner of the world a little bit brighter. Show some kindness even when you don’t have to. Compassion is the international language of caring, and it is never a lousy time for it. Judge others less and accept their differences more because, on the inside, they are just like you. A human being deals with their two continuous rivers of thought and emotion.

Empathy is the ability to understand the situation another is experiencing, and I think to be accepting of their circumstances. All people are capable of great kindness and caring but can also be just as mean and uncaring. We can make the conscious choice of being empathetic or judgmental, and that decision will dictate our effect on the world and what kind of person we will be. Consciously practicing empathy allows you to put a small positive influence on the planet and those you encounter each time. There is no telling where this little positive flow you create will affect the world.

Each of us is in this experience of life and looking for meaning. Sometimes it is easy and others more complex. There are nonstop moments, and each has value. What precisely that value is will be determined by our ability to look at others and see that everyone is the same basic stuff inside. Experiences and programming have led to how a person thinks and feels about things. In all things, we have much more in common than the differences we could ever carry. Take time today to look at all people with empathy and compassion. Practice kindness and understanding, and see how your rivers of thought and emotion are affected.

“Whatever is my right as a man is also the right of another.” – Thomas Paine

“I believe in equality for everyone.” – Mahatma Gandhi

“When I look at a person, I see a person – not a rank, not a class, not a title.” – Criss Jami

“Don’t let your luggage define your travels, and each life unravels differently.” – Shane Koyczan

“You can’t make a difference unless you are different.” – Chris Hodges

 

 

 

22

The Moments That Matter

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Your perspective on life will determine your success, and that is the way of it, whether you like it or not. How you look at the experiences you have will choose your thoughts on life, the people in your life, the places you go, and ultimately which goals are achievable and which are not. Even the most talented and motivated people will not be at their best every day, and if you are not functioning at your highest capacity, are you contributing in every moment? Does every minute of your life matter to the results of your experiences and accomplishments?

My philosophy is that every minute in your life matters, and those who take the time to evaluate themselves, their efforts, and where their place in the world can find value in each moment. We are limited in the number of minutes we have in life, and it is up to us what we do with them. The choice of enjoyment or boredom is yours and yours alone each day. And, of course, who is to say what one seemingly little minute in your life will lead to? Every minute is the gateway to the best version of yourself. Do you walk through it, stand in front, or walk away from it?

Life Is Short

Our human experience is valuable because there is no clear ending to the journey. It could be many years, or it could be in five minutes. Nobody knows. Yet most of us live our lives as if all the time in the world is at our disposal. It isn’t, and the acceptance and understanding that at some point, this life is going to end give all experiences, moments, and minutes a meaning. Each one will matter before the end, for sure, and often to others around you. What are you doing with your time?

Most people do not live life consciously thinking about the value of the minutes, but if you take a minute and think about it, you can find ways to make each of your minutes a little more valuable. Just as gold or diamonds have a perceived value because of their rarity, should your minutes be treated. Each one is unique and will never come again. Spending time doing what makes you come alive is the most meaningful way is the best way to make your moments last. You get the choice to appreciate what you have in your life or not.

You Choose The Value of Your Minutes

The choice is the action that makes our lives uniquely our responsibility. We choose the value of all things in our lives. We decide how valuable the people we spend time with are or are not. Is this day disappointing, or is it the gateway to something beautiful? That is a choice only you can make about your own life, and you make it every minute. Don’t accept that some minutes are better than others because of factors outside of yourself. That makes you the victim of circumstance and not the master of your fate. You choose on the inside the value that any activity has to you. That is being proactive and will lead to greater enjoyment. If you are reading, decide to value it.

Some would question if you find value if you are not contributing to something or building toward something. But I think your life is something and each moment has a chance to be built into whatever you want. You may not see the value now, but two years from now or a week from now, you will realize the foundation you have started today. If you are not currently building toward something, then you have the power to create a purpose for yourself. Start a new project. Look for a place you can make a difference. Move your sphere of awareness to what you can contribute to the world to make things better in a small way. Helping others provides a feeling of contributing to the world and building a better life for yourself. You are the only one who can choose to value each minute you have.

Responsible for Meaning

Who is to say what value is. It may be one thing, and another person may find something different to be of value to them. Personal choice is going to play a role in this. Look at the last year of my life. Some moments were better than any I have ever known and some worse than any I could imagine. For sure, both of them were valuable for different reasons. Significant change inside of myself has been the result of both extremes. Goals have been reached, which could never have been achieved in any other way. My perspective on life has adjusted more positively because of these learning moments.

Each moment good and evil forced me to change how I looked at myself and dealt with my emotions. All of life is a learning experience, and in this classroom, you are the one who decides if you “pass” and take something significant into the next moment of your life. Or if you “fail” and sit around, feeling sorry for yourself. You are the only one who can choose the value of your life and the moments in it. If you decide to be more honest, open, and understanding because of your experience, it has value. In each moment you live. We are responsible for ourselves and our happiness. You can’t blame anyone else, and you can’t wait for that job, person, or experience to provide value to your life. You have to do it yourself.

Never Underestimate Your Value

We are all connected in this journey of life. We create barriers to separate ourselves from everyone else, but still, there are far more things that join us all. We are all searching for the meaning of one sort or another. Each person we come in contact with has an impact of some kind on them and us. Even if it is minimal, it is still an influence. You can decide how you let that influence affect you. Some people measure the value of their life through degrees earned, awards won, or even material possessions collected. But none of these things truly define a person’s worth. That can only be determined by the positive manner in which they affect the lives of people they come in contact with.

Look at your life and see what positive things you have contributed to the lives of others. Are people better off for your being in their life? If you doubt your contribution, then make a conscious choice to be more of an influence. It doesn’t take money, and it takes a conscious decision to make your life meaningful every minute. Simple things like honesty, encouragement, gratitude, appreciation, and joy of experience can change others’ lives. In looking to make others’ lives better, the life you really will change is your own. The answers to any problem you face might appear at this very minute, and I can’t think of anything more valuable than that.

  • “While we are postponing, life speeds by.” Seneca
  • “If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.” Benjamin Franklin
  • “Spare moments are the gold dust of time.” Bishop Hail
  • “I’ve always believed in savoring the moments. In the end, they are the only things we’ll have.” Anna Godbersen
  • “To do two things at once is to do neither.” Publilius Syrus
  • “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” Marcus Aurelius
  • “When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.” Shannon L. Alder
  • “If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” Bruce Lee

 

22

A Challenging Game

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The Hard Game of Life

Life is a challenging game, sometimes. No matter what you do or how you try to find the gentler 8235367099_8230f69c0cside of life, the easier the hard times seem to seek you out. When I look at people in their late teens and early twenties today, I have a hard time not telling them to be careful. There are some dark times in every life. Don’t worry too much, though, because they will bring you a lesson that will help you learn a valuable lesson. DO NOT BE AFRAID!

Look for the tough times that are inevitably going to come. But you know the warning is going to go unheeded. These words of caution are summarily dismissed as the rants of someone too old to understand the world today.   Yet, I know that that conversation will be quite different in twenty years.   Some of those “hard times” will give you your greatest gifts and allow you to stretch to lengths that you would have never reached without them.

If Experiences Didn’t Hurt, You Wouldn’t Pay Attention.

Every day, the experiences we have are not meant to be either easy or hard. Enjoyable or unpleasant. They are simply experiences that we apply our labels to based on our 304291_403371469749477_15828334_nexpectations of life and our limited knowledge of everything.

It is challenging to address hard things that way because if they are unpleasant or not desired, how can you not dislike that moment? If you had a broken arm or found out that you had cancer or any other experience that is on the negative side, who wouldn’t wish that away. Yet, our natural character and strength are revealed in these moments of despair and testing. Your strength will be tested, and your power revealed.

Personally, my dark times were not welcome, and I blamed everyone for the fact that things were taken from me for a long time. There was a lot of time wasted because, in the end, those experiences I detested and wanted to avoid allowed me to become more than I ever dreamed I could be. There is a well of kindness in your soul that needs to be released to do good, and sometimes the hard times provide the method.

Life doesn’t have to be challenging, but the lessons that are harder to learn to provide the whetted stone on which our talents are sharpened to their most helpful existence. You know in a more meaningful way than you ever have before. You may find hidden talents that would have never risen to the surface without the painful and necessary letting go of the past, who no longer carry the ideas and thoughts that now embody your personal experience.

One Constant in life is, It Goes On.

The everyday experiences of our existence are only opportunities for learning everything, from our way of dealing with people to accepting how we feel about and view ourselves. I look at those young people who dream of a comfortable life, and I understand why they think that way. It would be nice to sail calm seas for life. But that is not the way for any human being. Challenges are coming your way and to expect you can avoid them is to become delusional. They will be here waiting for you.

Yet to be tested and to find that you pass and that you are made of sterner stuff than you ever would have imagined is a priceless lesson. Don’t fear the hard times. Accept them as the learning experiences they are, and do what all successful people do, keep on moving forward with the lessons you have so honestly earned. Lay claim to your power and don’t give it away to people who don’t care about you or only care about themselves.

It seems that life needs to have moments of difficulty for us to examine our souls’ contents and value our actions. Things that are difficult to endure allow you to appreciate the little things in life that you have forgotten to pay attention to.

You are a wonderful human soul with unlimited possibilities, and the fences around your thought only limit the greatness you can achieve.

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22

They Make Life Interesting

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There is something about a baby that brings out the emotions in everyone. Some get downright giddy and gushy about the overall cuteness of a newborn. They are tiny and helpless and seem to be a literal bundle of joy. Most people like seeing and being around babies because it brings them joy. Some do not. They shy away, make sarcastic comments, at least to themselves, and try to move on with their lives.  The difference between these two reactions makes me look at my feelings when faced with the prospect of interacting with a newborn.  I am honestly in the middle of these two reactions, but I am more concerned with understanding what is ahead of any child as they start on the journey of life.  Some are going to be fantastic, and that is exciting, but life is not all about sunshine and rainbows, and there are going to be things that are unpleasant, challenging, and downright painful in the future of even the cutest baby.  So I look at any life to understand the almost necessary hardships and challenges that are ahead.

But There Will Be Sunshine And Rainbows

On the positive side, there will be sunshine and rainbows to experience in any life.  All people will have enjoyable times with you and make you feel happy, excited, powerful, strong, loved, understood, accessible, and many more positives.  These can happen every day, and I wish everyone more of these things than their opposites.  With youth comes a lack of understanding that all items are changing, and nothing will last forever.  I know my appreciation for something of this tenor is far greater now with the understanding that times in your life are never going to come back again.  The person I was and my experiences as a younger person only live in memories.  I have been fortunate to have great victories, creations, joys, kindness, and adventure.

 

Your perspective on things and attitude about them is the most important factor a person will develop, determining how they will enjoy life.  One person can look at something and only see the wrong things, and another looks at the same thing and sees what is right.  Being able to see the good and appreciate it will make life much more enjoyable. But as I look into the face of a newborn baby, I know much of choice in this area will be made by the programming they receive over the early part of life.  What tools will they get from life? How will experience mold them? How many hard lessons will be left for adulthood and experience to drive home in the most potent way?  There are many great things in every life, but a person has to grasp ahold of them and enjoy them.

Dark Clouds and Pitfalls

All people who think at all realize there will be things in life that are not so pleasant. There are times when we will all suffer. There will be losses, disappointments, rejection, failure, unfair treatment, and bad choices, which will color your life differently.  When I see an innocent child, I have a small amount of pity for them because they have no idea what is coming. Like a tidal wave rolling through the ocean, you can’t see it right now, but inevitably it will bring destruction to a shore somewhere.  There are waves in the future.

I have seen my share of these, and they shape your thoughts, reactions, and view of the world.  The fear of this suffering can stop you from growing and cause you to play a small, safe game, and they never push to achieve anything inside their thoughts.  Some will use their difficulties to spring into a more fantastic version of themselves.  Which will this child be?  Every day, every person you encounter in the world is making this decision and living it out.  What have your difficult experiences done to you? I have had experiences that have caused me to suffer.  All were my doing, and their effect on me was self-induced.  After all the pain life can give you, I have found that there is a chance to become a deeper, more understanding, and better person.  I envy people who come to these realizations without the experience of broken things to teach them.  Each dark cloud that passed my way and every pitfall I was trapped by has taught me something. I am hoping I have learned the proper lessons.

Clean Slates and Hopes

A friend told me that looking at a child and looking in their eyes is like seeing a clean slate with the hope that all the good things in life are in front of them.  Children are always learning, and we should all maintain that aspect of childhood because we never stop being taught by experience. The blank slate of a child doesn’t last long as they are taught the morals, expectations, and fears of their parents, relatives, institutions, and society in general.  All of these factors weave their way into a person’s mind and influence how they think and what role they should play to fit into society and the world in general.  They may be buried under a pile of expectations and painful experiences of disappointment in life.  Has everything been handed to them in life? Or have they had to work for what they want?

Each slate will quickly be covered with life’s experiences, lessons, and thoughts and how they can be applied to other people in life. Each child will start to make their own decisions and develop an attitude. Some will make the world better through their light and laugh, and others will bring darkness to the world, which is the hard truth. Most people will do both at different points in their lives. Based on the experiences they are having at the time.  Without an opportunity to process and evaluate experiences positively, it is hard for someone to learn valuable lessons and not let the suffering harm them permanently. Each story of life is unique, and there are no guarantees for any child about what the future holds. And that knowledge is in my mind when I look into the eyes of a child, and it is my fear for them that rises to the surface.

But that Is Life

Regardless of my fears and feelings about life, it is still the game we are in, and we have no choice but to play it.  It is a game that can’t be “won.” It can only be processed and played out to its conclusion. So many of our experiences are directly in our control, and we have nobody to blame but ourselves for the outcome. It comes down to a simple choice, and all people have to make it for themselves.  Be responsible and proactive about your options or be reactive and blame everyone and everything else for where you are.  Wherever you choose to focus will determine the level of joy you experience and how you play your game.

Life is a package deal that will bring you a pretty equal measure of sunny days and those filled with rain. It is the way you approach each which makes you who you are.  It will challenge you, push you, and grow because when we are young children, it has a potential for greatness within us, and if we aren’t moving ourselves toward it, life will nudge us in that direction.  Those nudges can hurt.  So when you observe any person today, as you walk down the street or drive past them in a car, or sit near them at a local coffee shop, recognize the young child in them, with a blank slate that has been written on with the chalk of their life experiences.  Understand they are processing their challenges and pain.  I believe we are all doing the best we can.  In the end, I have hope for every person; it will all turn out OK in the future.  What is your story going to be?

So should you find yourself face to face with a newborn on this day, think to yourself of the challenges that will inevitably face this young innocent. Then remember that your journey has been the same and that you are doing the best you can in your journey.  Wish the child and yourself the best on the trip through life, and remember it is a relatively short game.

“A problem is a chance for you to do your best.”– Duke Ellington
“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”– Thich Nhat Hanh
“Never let your head hang down. Never give up and sit down and grieve. Find another way. And don’t pray when it rains if you don’t pray when the sun shines.”– Leroy Satchel Paige
“It is only in our darkest hours that we may discover the true strength of the brilliant light within ourselves that can never, ever, be dimmed.”– Doe Zantamata
“Learn how to be happy with what you have while you pursue all that you want.”– Jim Rohn
“I will love the light for it shows me the way, yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.”– Og Mandino 

22

Day of Hope

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It is only natural to look back and reflect on the events of your life and attempt to give them meaning in your life. Positive and negative things happen in life, and there is always a lesson to learn. I have had many of these over the past year, some big and some small but all significant. This writing is a short attempt to list these lessons hoping someone else will benefit from my experiences.  Each is a wish to you that you will find joy every morning when you wake up and carry that feeling throughout your day.  Life is full of situations that take our happiness. You deserve to be joyful and have a heart that sings in the light of hope, which breaks in every new day.

 Life is too short to be unhappy.

It doesn’t matter if it is in your job, your relationship, or just living life from day today. If you are unhappy with something continually, you need to make changes. Our experience is finite and short and could end at any moment. It is too valuable a time to be spent doing something you don’t enjoy or with people who are toxic or make you feel bad.

Choose the activities and people who build you up that make you feel valued and happy in your daily life. Once you find them, enjoy them while they are there because they may not be there forever.  One day at a time is the only way to live.  Enjoy things at the moment and understand that is all there is. Tomorrow is not guaranteed to anyone. Yesterday is gone, and you can’t get it back.  Enjoy the moments. Life is too short to be unhappy all the time.

Taking Action Will Change Your Life

Taking action is one of the essential igniters of positive change. You can plan all you want, weigh all the options, and compare the pros d9239926ad454b109a067852b7c854e5and cons for weeks and months, but only through action can you find out what will work and what will not. There is a power in this knowledge that empowers you, and it defeats fear because what is fear but a thought, worrying about what might happen?

With action, you know what will happen, which will change your life. Actions don’t always work out the way you envision, but they still bring answers, and in the knowledge, there is power and in power is an inner strength that guides a joyous life. It takes courage to take action, but the alternative to brave decisions is to live a half-life of thought. You will never know, dreaming continually of what might happen or what you could be. Take your action, place your bet, push your chips to the middle of the table, and see what kind of cards you get.  At worst, you will learn. At best, you will become that person of your dreams.

Gratitude should be a part of Life.

I know that gratitude is supposed to be a part of your life. Here are the things I experienced with gratitude this year. First, taking a moment to be grateful for things builds a genuine appreciation. You realize that you have great things in your life and your mindset naturally moves from one of lack to one of abundance. You never know when something will change, turning your life upside down. Some things you love will leave, and it is up to you to carve happiness out of the life left behind you. Be grateful for what you have right now and the joy it brings you.

Begin each day with a mental list of all the people and things you are grateful for today. That mindset will allow you to look more objectively at life. Too often create an automated list of all the problems we are facing and difficulties in life, and we are taking our focus on the issues we have. Where focus goes, energy flows.  Like all people, there were difficulties this year for me, but maintaining my gratitude for what I do has, allowed me to survive. It was not easy at times, but I am still here.

We Must change limiting Beliefs

I have been on the trail of my own limiting beliefs for many years, and this year I have had experience changing them and seeing that change play out in my life. Our limiting beliefs are built as we develop early in life, and they work to create our experience in life and lead to what we expect from that experience. It depends on the message we received and how it was delivered. y We are taking in a lot of

Limiting beliefs lead to the same old thinking and disappointing results, a closed-loop or negative feedback mindset. Change is up to you!!

Information and figuring out where we fit in the world. As children, the conclusions we come to are hard-wired into our subconscious and rule our actions for the rest of our lives, unless we change them.

Changing a limiting belief can be a challenge. You can do it through hypnosis, repetition of affirmations, and sometimes direct old willpower. (Having enough)  I have changed my own beliefs to some degree and want to see what I want in life. I have also experienced setbacks and heartbreaks because of the limits I placed in my mind.  You can change.  You can do this new way, and it doesn’t have to take a long time to do it. You have to be willing to change how you think about things and desire a change in your life experience.

People are Doing the Best They Can

Many people have come into my life over the years, some for a short time, and 652679b6410f79187f23594de87c42e8some seemingly for the duration. Each one has brought a lesson of some kind because all people come ready-made with addresses attached. How to live, how not to live, do this, or don’t do that, this is how you treat others, and how never to treat someone else. These lessons have been there throughout my life, but I have never really seen them with the clarity I do now.  Pain is a great teacher, and it has ingrained its lessons in my life.

Even the meanest, least pleasant person you meet has a lesson for you. It might be as simple as don’t ever make others feel the way this person makes people think.  Or it could be more complicated, but look for the lesson in each person you see each day and be conscious of the class that you are teaching others each day. The lessons you teach others are your legacy and the things that will be revisited you in your life. When you have a choice, be kind, understanding, and considerate of the needs of others. But never compromise who you are to please someone else. When you do, you cease being you, which is a crime.

Everyone Sees Life Differently

The reality experienced in life is different for everyone. You and I can share the same thing and have two different 1b465430941f2e3e0320f04192a70ebcinterpretations of the event. Our biases, beliefs, understanding, and experiences will color every event that happens. People generally believe what they want about people, events, and things. Two individuals can look at a star-filled sky. And one sees the wonder of the universe, and the other sees darkness. Be understanding of these differences and talk about them with those you share things with.  Through communication, your experience can be broader, and you can, in turn, make someone else see more.

Over the past year, I have seen more of this. I have learned that it doesn’t do any good to proclaim the correctness of your perspective because if others have a different experience, no words you say can change their minds and vice versa. Be open to the views of other people. They may teach you something. Things don’t always have to be labeled as right or wrong, but they all can teach you something. Growth is the purpose of this life, and other people will allow you to grow.

Questions are Our most Powerful Tools

when you ask a question, your mind seeks an answer. It is a natural way to gain information, but items work in moving your thoughts and mind toward places you want to go and things you want to accomplish. How can it get better than this? How can this work out better than I could have imagined? What lesson is in this experience for me? What should I do next? What are the actions I should take now?

These are just some of the questions, and then the secret is to let the answers keep coming to you. The first one might be the best, but it might not, and it might just be easiest. Keep seeking answers because once you have accepted the solution, the possibilities are ended too, and there is nothing else you can create from that.

If you examine your answers but keep seeking them, you will find there are others. I have learned that as learners, we have been conditioned to accept the first answer we come to and file it away. Ask questions in the new year, and never stop looking for the answers for the rest of your life.

Some of My Favorite Books

For me, there is a list of books that have influenced me and my thoughts this year. Each of these added to my life and will add to yours, and I highly recommend them. Reading expands your mind, makes you think, and allows you to change your life.

  1. The Alchemist- Paulo Coello
  2. The Four Agreements- Don Miguel Ruiz
  3. The Biology of Belief- Bruce Lipton
  4. The Greatest Miracle in the World- Og Mandino
  5. Being You! Changing the World- Dain Heer
  6. Awaken the Giant Within- Tony Robbins
  7. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success- Carol Dweck
  8. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People- Steven Covey

Reading is the best way to take in information and expand your mind. You can learn from the mistakes of others and glean wisdom from their experience. Often you can find your way through troubles and get a positive compass reading to avoid the pitfalls of your journey.

No matter what you have been through, life will continue, and what you learn from your experience is up to you and the story you tell yourself about it. The report will create a belief, and that idea will work in your life.  Whether those stories are positive or negative is up to you.

“Relying on God has to begin all over again every day as if nothing had yet been done.”– C. S. Lewis  Trust God Quotes

“It takes strength to step enthusiastically into each day of our lives. This strength comes more readily on some days than on others, but every day makes demands on us.”— Karen Casey, The Promise of a New Day


“Every day that you open your eyes is a new day and another day to get it right.” Jean Renee Porter, A New Day

 

22

You Are Not Stuck

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“If You Don’t Like Where You Are, move! You’re Not a Tree.”

you-are-not-a-tree-cropSo many times, we feel stuck. In a job, in a relationship, or in the town we live in, stuck in our current circumstances, which are not fulfilling. We feel stuck where we are with no hope of moving on to something else that provides a challenge, contentment, or happiness.  The truth is that we are only as stuck as our mind decides that we are. As people, we have been given the talent to make new choices and take new paths, which lead to new beginnings and an unlimited future of possibilities.

The Problem with Being a Tree

Tree problems
Tree problems

Trees have it rough. They are stuck standing exactly where they were born, day after day, year after year, with no hope of change. This attitude subjects them to the dangers of the weather, as winds blow, snowfalls, and rain pelts them unmercifully throughout the long years of their lives. Many people feel like they are trees as they stand deeply rooted in their beliefs, which many times limit your potential.  We believe there is no other way to be as the winds of life and the world abuses us.

Yet we can move. We can go anywhere we want to go, and we have to choose to go there. Movement allows for new experiences and provides an endless opportunity for growth, and growth is what keeps life interesting. You are not a tree, and you can move away from your past’s deeply rooted limiting beliefs.

Your Choice to Move

What can stop us once we choose to move and take control of our destiny? We can jumpin_riverstretch ourselves into a new life, experiencing a new type of energy. We can dance to the music that moves us in our souls. We have the talent to carry anywhere, and by being able to go anywhere, we can do almost anything. You are blessed with the ability to choose your life experience.  It may seem like there are too many details to work out or other blocks to moving along and finding a new situation.  Don’t let them stop you.

If you are unhappy where you stand, then it is time to find a new forest. If you understand your unhappiness and choose to make no changes, you have only yourself to blame for the unhappiness that comes from living in a situation that isn’t kind to you.  You are not a tree, and moving on is always an option.

It Only Makes Sense To Move On

walking-away_2So here, you are living a life that is not making you happy or providing an incredibly fulfilling experience all people deserve.  If you don’t feel appreciated or valued, don’t you think it is time to move to find your value. Not all situations are the same, not all people are mean, and not all people are unappreciative. You are not a tree and can move your life to greener pastures where the water is plentiful and the weather is soft and kind. It is all up to you.  Go out and look for a better tomorrow.

Usually, that journey, no matter how long for you, will start on the inside.  In your soul, which will tell you what you need to be happy.  Moving on is the final step in letting the past go.  Any pain or regret is left in the rearview mirror, where it can’t burden your current mission. You deserve to be happy, and the world needs your gifts, whatever they are.

“If You Don’t Like Where You Are, move! You’re Not a Tree.”

 

22

Know Your Focus

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What do you think and talk about Expands

Do you want to know what is important to someone?  Anyone at all? Look at their lives, and you will see the things in them that describe what they are thinking and talking about.  It never fails. This process means listening and observing below the surface of the conversation.  If you are living from your ego, then you are a fixed mindset person, which will dictate your focus on making sure your image is protected rather than nurturing who you are.  What you think and talk about expands, and what you ignore and keep to yourself does not.  Where is your focus today? Choose it wisely.

Focus on Growth through Change

I hope to develop a continual focus on growth as a person, which means embracing changes.  This philosophy is not straightforward because sometimes change hurts emotionally.  To face a difference in your life may require you to leave all you know and move to a new location. You may have to leave a loved one behind.   It may require you to abandon some beliefs you have held on to.  Growth is a process that embraces change, and change can only be accepted and influential if you focus on it as a benefit.  Attitude is everything, and when push comes to shove, most people don’t want to change a thing in their lives. Either they like something in their lives and fear losing it. Or, if things are bad, they might worsen if change happens. Dislike of change can be an instinctual reaction.

Every day there are changes from the day before. Sometimes the changes are subtle and almost invisible. Other times they are monumental and life-altering. Change is inevitable and constant; learn to embrace the changes coming to you.  Focus on accepting the changes happening in your life. See them become better and speak about them that way.  Focus on the growth you see in your life as a good thing, and it will be. Look at difference as a painful loss, and that experience will be yours just as easy.  Your focus will determine the growth of an idea in this genre.

Challenges Are Great

The same mental attitude applies to the challenges we face. Focus on the positive things a problem brings. Learn to embrace them. An issue will pop up all the time, and some people try to avoid them at all costs.  It is much easier to drift down a river unencumbered. But no matter how much you try, eventually, rocks will be in your way, and either you learn to navigate around them or get crushed on them.  That is a matter of mindset.

Look at successful businesses but never look at the terrain ahead.  What works today may not work tomorrow.  Embracing the challenge of the effects of new technology or a societal shift in purchasing will be the difference between failure and thrive moving forward. How you focus your mind will determine the fate of your business. There is little chance to grow if your focus is where you are. Focus where you want to go, allowing you to handle what rocks are in your way.

Do you Think People can Learn things, or are they born with the talent?

Ego tells us talent is everything. But is it?  Where is your focus? There will be cases where a person is just gifted with a God-given ability to do something, but to be great, you can’t have a fixed mindset. A limited perspective will lead you to make attachments in your mind to a particular outcome of any activity, limiting the number of experiences. There is a near unlimited list of possible issues that exist, some you may never have thought of and would enjoy the best. Limiting your experience is also a sign that you live through your ego.  Challenges are avoided, and if you would instead give up than be proven wrong,  you are anchoring your experiences to a fixed point.

 

Most people, including me, have a narrow focus when we approach some things with a fixed mindset. I catch myself all the time having thoughts that could come from growth.  Noticing these thoughts for what they are will allow you to make a different choice and grow from an experience. Skills can be learned, developed, and mastered over time.  Decide what you want to do, and then pursue it. Ask questions, and learn from all sources that make sense.  Do not be afraid not to know something because you will find the answers once you know you don’t know.  Other people will help you become better, which is not bad.

The first sentence of this writing tells a story about what you think about and talk about as life expands. If you focus on your problems, guess what you will have more of?  If you focus on the good things in life, imagine what you will have more of?  It is all up to you and your focus.  Look long and hard at the decisions you are making that direct your attention. Then look at your life and what you are getting out of it and see the connection between them. If you don’t like it, change your focus to something more growth-oriented, making a difference.

“That’s been one of my mantras – focus and simplicity. Simple can be harder than complex: You have to work hard to get your thinking clean to make it simple. But it’s worth it because once you get there, you can move mountains.”- Steve Jobs.

“The key to success is to focus our conscious mind on things we desire, not things we fear.”- Brian Tracy.

“The successful man is the average man, focused.”

 

22

Can You Think??

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“Thinking is the hardest work there is, which is probably the reason, so few engage in it.”
― Henry Ford

thinking
At the very least, you think, my friend.

What It Means To Think

The ability to think is a craft that has been too often disregarded by most people today. We let so many other things fill our minds rather than pure, sober thought. When we use our thoughts, they are often twisted, harmful vines of gossip or judgment that do no positive good to ourselves or anybody else.  The good news is that it is not too late to learn how to focus on the moment, allowing your thoughts to lead away from the negative and toward the positives of creativity.

Conformity Is A Cage of Mediocrity

From the moment I was born, people seemed to push me into a box of conformity.  We are all persuaded and made to “just fit in”  and not be different because when someone is conformity is the jailerso bold as to be different from the crowd, there is no reward, only ridicule from peers and teachers.

The problem with conformity is there is no originality, and without original thought, there can be nothing new, and nothing new will change.  It is a paradox that people strive to fit in when anybody who ever did anything worthwhile stood out, was different, and had original thoughts.  So the first thing you should do is stop being one of the crowd and start being yourself.  When you see a question, don’t just look for the answer; look for the process to get the answer.  Think outside of the box, and don’t be afraid.  Your greatness is just one thought away because ideas do become things.

Choose Your Thoughts Wisely

Choose your thoughts? A perfect friend of mine once told me that there was no way he could choose his studies because his brain just worked too darn fast to try to control.  That may be true. I have no way of knowing, but even my quick-thinking friend can choose which thoughts he gives credence to and which ones he lets float away.  Your mind is a you are what you thinkmachine that works hard to allow you to understand the world. It will think about many things. Some are positive about things you like and support.  Then there are the negative thoughts of gossip, anger, hatred, discrimination, greed, etc.  You choose what to do with your thoughts, entertain them, or dismiss them entirely.  Which direction you decide to go in will determine much about the quality of your life and what you experience.  So always choose your thoughts wisely. What you think will determine the pleasure you experience in life.

What You Put In Your Mind Matters

An old saying is that what you put into your mind is exactly what you will get out of it.  Today we are a society of easy answers and quick fixes.  There is instant entertainment available virtually everywhere now, thanks to smartphones and tablets.  This modernization is all wonderful, except that many people choose mindless games to play and programs to watch with little intellectual value.

Some entertainment can be great, but there are so many negative messages sent through the media and on the internet that it can become difficult to feel even the slightest bit positive about ourselves.  This manipulation is because marketers figured out a long time ago that you will do almost anything to feel good if they can make you feel bad about yourself.  This most often involves buying whatever they sell, making you prettier, sexier, thinner, or more attractive.

Even the shows that should be educational, like the news, drive their programming on negative stories designed to instill fear or spread cheap gossip. Suppose you want to be able to think then, for at least a small portion of time every day read an actual book.  Read about philosophy or ideas that might broaden your mind.  Reading is an interactive process that increases your ability to think. The more you do it, the greater your power.  If you don’t believe me, put down the phone, turn off the computer or television, and read for just half an hour a day.  The results will astound you.  Reading is the key to the doorway of thought, be brave and open it.

Keep Your Mind Open

Once you start thinking, you will think you know it all and are pretty sure open mindabout how the world works.  The most intelligent thing that anyone can do is to understand that no matter how smart they are, they do not, nor will they ever know it all.  There is always something else to learn, some theory to try, some perplexing problem to solve.  Every thought is a step on the path of growth, and you can’t be too surprised when today’s fact turns into a stepping stone to help you reach tomorrow’s truth.

Thinking is a lot like building a pyramid. You can create the top until you place all of the concrete stones at the foundation, then the next level, and then the next.  Keep your mind open to give credence to thoughts you haven’t considered, test them, question them, and evaluate their merits.  Only then can you glean the wisdom or folly of every idea you encounter.  A closed mind will never shed any light on the world, whereas an open mind may provide an opening as bright as the sun.

Someday, You May Need This

When you read this, you may not pay attention right now, which is OK. You may want to hold on to your entertainment, and you may not like to read. Maybe you don’t want to stand out from the crowd because people might talk about you.  That is your choice, and I respect that.  At the moment in life, you think, “ Is this it?”  or “what is life all about?” I want you to come here and read this.  Those questions are the spark of all proper thought, and you will have a hard time finding happiness until you learn to evaluate the messages from your mind.

“Think before you speak. Read before you think.”
― Fran Lebowitz, The Fran Lebowitz Reader

22

A Little Bit Crazy

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You make beautiful footprints. Make them with pride.

Anyone with any self-contemplation will, at some point, look at their thought processes and wonder if they are “normal” or ask themselves, “Am I crazy?” Because they are thinking about life’s mysteries and how they want to tackle the challenges they face. I know there are moments in my life when I recognize my thoughts are different than those I imagine anyone else is running through their minds about my experiences and more importantly, my reaction to them. What does it mean to be crazy?  The basic definition offered by Google is mentally deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way.  So in that sense, I don’t think the way a person internalizes their experiences is enough to make you “crazy” I think it is enough to make a person unique. And I think the originality of personalized thought and the courage to follow it is the recipe for greatness in the world. Let’s look at how your unique view can bring a bright light to the world and enjoyment to your life.

Your Unique Talent

All people have something unique to give to the world, and our lives are a tool for creating our own amazing story.  We all have this capability, but few follow their talent fully to the conclusion of significant contribution.  There are many roadblocks in our way, from family members who care about us and don’t want us to be hurt or to “look foolish” chasing a dream to societal messages which push us all into a mass

To be rare and unique is beautiful

pit of conformity.  But the biggest roadblock any of us will ever face is the one we create in our minds. There is a point in our trip when we have to choose between conforming to the expectations of others or pushing ourselves toward our inner calling, regardless of what thoughts and reservations others might have.

Those who choose to follow their calling will feel different because you are breaking away from what others expect to create your unique path by taking this action. This trailblazing pattern of thought is original to you, and that originality can make you feel alone and isolated. Recognizing this can make you feel alone and isolated. Being yourself and thinking of things that are genuinely original and belong to you is how greatness has always been achieved.  Understand the uncomfortable feelings of being your true self and embrace them. Those who are there for you will accept you for who you are, and those who love you will enhance your thoughts and encourage your chase of ultimate expression.

Your Vision

The way a person sees the world and their place in it is the thing that differentiates and defines us.  It is also one of the most remarkable contributions we can give to the lives of others. I know the people who have had the most significant impact on me throughout my life have been the ones who shared their vision with me. And

See the power in yourself

that sharing made my interpretation of things changed and grow more positively and powerfully.  The thoughts control our perceptions. We can entertain and develop and bring new ways of seeing something into your experience, allowing you to see more in others and the world in general around you.

Those with a unique perspective, all of their own, are the most cherished to me. I know it is like  I was watching the world in black and white but then, having the veil lifted, you now see all of the colors.  It has been there all along, but the unique way someone thought helped me move to the next level of enjoyment of much in life. This experience would never happen if there weren’t a brave person to consider their thoughts and follow their path regardless of what the world said.  Being your unique self is the greatest gift you give to the world each day. Of course, some will fear this and discourage you.  The courage to continue and ignore these small-minded urgings is one of life’s biggest challenges and dangers to your dreams.

What is Your Story?

There is a story we all live from the day we are born until the day our story ends at death. That is the truth of it for all human beings living on the face of the Earth. What type of information we live to tell is based on how much of our originality we embrace and how much we surrender to the world to find conformity with the thoughts of others.  We are all in control of our own story and write it word by word

A world without you would be a very dark place

through the day-to-day choices we make.  Are we acting with courage? Are we reacting from fear of some kind? Are we wise enough to know the difference?  All great stories have significant challenges faced by the hero. It has villains, allies, joys, and sorrows. If you don’t like where your account is going, change it.

Changing the story of your life is as simple as honestly looking at where you are and making a choice, at this moment, to change it and take it in a different direction.  Then have the simple courage to take steps to create the story you want to see consistently. Look inside yourself and see the things which bring joy to you, and then do those things. Not for what you can gain financially or in recognition but for the joy they bring to you.  Do this, and financial gains and glory will come to you as a natural byproduct of your contribution.  This is the part where people overthink and tend to get crazy.  What if it doesn’t work? What if I end up disappointed? What about the things people will say and think? I have heard all these things myself and paid too much attention to them.  Be yourself and act with courage, and positive results will come to you. Ignore the noise.

So Are You Crazy?

In all of this simple thought, you have to ask yourself: are you crazy?  Well, when a person shies away from the apparent greatness they have within and refuse to develop their talents and share them with the world, that is not mental well-being.  Tools readily available to help stop the constant wheel of whirling thought. Our minds are only one-third of the puzzle of a human being, and we are also one-third physical and one-third spiritual as well.  Developing all three is the secret to unleashing talents to the world.  If you live in just your thoughts, you will never know what your soul is trying to tell you.

Learning to live in the moment is the best way I have found to hear that voice and listen to the direction it gives. Your thoughts are constant and often repetitive and quite often hostile. So much worry and anxiety are created by listening to our thoughts. Your soul will guide you through feelings of intuition toward what is suitable for you.  Some would say it is crazy to look for this. I think it is crazy not to. You are a person with greatness in you that only needs a nudge to take you to accomplish all you imagine you can—just a touch to unleash that unique perspective and talent in the world.  We often think we need to follow others, but the true originality will come by breaking the mold and doing your thing.  This action is a terrifying thing to do because it will be challenging. You may meet initial failure as you fine-tune your message and develop the skills needed to become great.  Great people see this for what it is, the writing of their story.

You have a unique perspective and buckets of talent inside of you. The question is, never if you are crazy or not. But instead, “Will you dare to share your authentic view with the world, or will you cast that aside for security and acceptance of others.”  That should be the real question.

Are you crazy about the way you are? You would be crazy to be anything else.

Not being your best self and seeing what happens is the crazy thing.

“No one should part with their individuality and become that of another.”  William Ellery Channing

“I believe in individuality, that everybody is special, and it’s up to them to find that quality and let it live.”  Grace Jones

“The best thing you’ve got going for you is individuality.”  Richard Thompson

“You know, our sense of individuality is just the number one target of civilization.”  Alan Rudolph

“Don’t ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive and do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.”  Howard Thurman

“You just have to do your own thing, no matter what anyone says. It’s your life.”  Ethan Embry

“Let every man judge according to his own standards, by what he has himself read, not by what others tell him.”  Albert Einstein

“The privilege of a lifetime is being who you are.”  Joseph Campell

“Losing faith in your singularity is the start of wisdom, I suppose; also the first announcement of death.”  Peter Conrad

“To be nobody but yourself in a world which is doing its best day and night to make you everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight, and never stop fighting.”- E. E. (Edward Estlin) Cummings

Life is either a grand adventure, or it is nothing!

 

22

Time To Be Happy Now!

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No Need To Wait, Be Happy Now

why you should be happier
Choose to be happier

We are all looking to be happier in life.  There are some simple steps that you can take each moment to improve your happiness, and they are all easy to master. You need to have a consciousness of your life and take action toward a more fulfilling result.

Being generally happier about things in your life is a choice, and if you look at things and genuinely aren’t excited about the way they are going,  then changes need to be made with a few simple changes. You can turn things around right now, today, just by changing your focus. From the negative life throws at you to the positive surrounding you everywhere.

See The Good In Your Life

How to be happy optimisst
The Optimist

Is the glass half empty, or is it half full?  This perspective is how you can start evaluating your mental state in your life.  If your thoughts are frequently about what is missing in your life, what you don’t have, or what you need to acquire to be happy, you, my friend, are a glass-half-empty kind of person.  And I can pretty much guarantee that if you honestly ask yourself the question, am I happy?  The answer would be no.  How can you be satisfied when continually looking at what you don’t have or are lacking?

One of the most straightforward steps towards happiness is recognizing and appreciating any good thing you have in your life.  Show your gratitude by writing it down and talking about it during the day.   I have walked on the pessimist’s side of the street before. I know from my own experience that negative thinking only leads to more negative behavior, and you can NOT be happy if you are thinking about how much you are missing in life.   So make the simple choice to think positively about what is

The Pessimist

good in your life. Perhaps the fifteen minutes of silent contemplation you get on your ride to and from work every day allows you to stay organized and be more productive.  No matter who you are, there are always things that you can think about that are good, and when you start to do this, you will find that a look toward more positive things will lead to many more positive emotions, experiences, and circumstances occurring in your life.

It can all start with a simple list of things you are grateful for in your life and a sincere appreciation for them, and you will start turning things from negative to positive.

Do Something Nice Just because you can…

Its nice to be niceIt is not a difficult concept to understand that people like it when others do something nice for them.  It is even more appreciated when it comes from an unexpected source.  It is less understood that doing something nice for someone else will make you feel good about yourself.   When you do something to make someone else feel better, there is an almost automatic rise in your self-esteem and the way you think about yourself.  It is unstoppable and undeniable.  This feeling inside you is happiness because, as people, we all want to be more accepted and appreciated. If you can comfort or help another feel good or experience joy, your happiness will rise even if the act was anonymous.   As impressive as this sounds, you will become happier by making someone else more comfortable.  There is no way around it and no debating this point.  Do something nice for someone else just because you can, and you will be happier.

Smile more often and Mean It!

Smile more and be happierAnother simple way to be happier is to smile more often.  You can fake it at first if you are so pessimistic and angry that you don’t have an authentic smile in you.  There is a physiological response inside us that if we put on a smile, it is only natural that our entire demeanor, both inside and outside, will try to match that happy look.  If you don’t believe me, try it.  Focus on smiling more every day, even when there is nobody around.

You will not be able to stop yourself from thinking of things that have made you smile in the past or that make you smile today, or that would make you smile and feel happy tomorrow.  You won’t be able to stop it.   You will be just as comfortable as you choose to be.    It is as simple as learning to smile more and meaning it!

 Find Happy People and Do What They Do

Find happy peopleBirds of a feather flock together.  It is an old saying, but in most cases, it is true.  If you intend to be an unhappy, negative, and generally miserable person, you are going to seek out people and invest time in people who are going to promote that point of view for you.  You will find “friends” who are cynical about everything in their life and will get confirmation that they are right about how crappy the world is from you.  These people will avoid relationships with happy people because they will have to confront whatever makes them so damn miserable to maintain the relationship.  It is much easier for them to attack the happier person and try to minimize them as a person, usually by saying something negative about them behind their back.  If you want to be happy, getting rid of this behavior has to happen.  Here’s how.

You should find the positive people in your life and look to attach yourself to them.  You will start to see how they look at life and, more importantly, how they think about life.  These thought patterns are what you are looking to emulate because as you feel, so you are.

When you have relationships with people who don’t think life sucks and everyone is out to screw them, you will feel happier.  I can picture negative associations and make it easy to embrace negative thoughts about everything and everybody.  If you have ever worked in a place where this mentality is dominant, then you can understand how difficult it can be to be happy around that black cloud of misery, “this sucks,” “the boss is mean,” “they are trying to waste my time.”

Compare that to the work atmosphere infused with positive energy, which makes what you are doing seem to count and that you are an essential part of that process. You won’t be able to stop loving your job and doing it to the best of your ability.   In most work environments, you will have the opportunity to experience either kind of person, be positive and try to be happy, and like a moth to a flame, you will draw people looking for that attitude.   Please don’t allow the negative into your life. It is all up to your choices.

Let Go Of Bad Experiences and Anger Towards Others

One of the more helpful things that I have learned is that what has happened in the past affects your life today as you let it have.  Think about that for a moment.  We all have experiences that have not been pleasant to experience in our history.  We have all made bad decisions, and we have all made mistakes. We have all done wrong things.  That is life, and that is the way of it.  However, how we choose to live with these decisions or mistakes is totally up to us as people and directly leads to the amount of happiness you can experience.

I read a book about letting go, and it advised that when you think of a person or a situation, and you get an instant kind of burning feeling inside, there is something that you haven’t let go of.  Perhaps an experience you had from circumstances in your childhood, or it could be someone you feel has done something wrong to you.  There were both people and events that I was holding bad feelings against because I thought they had mistreated me and weren’t the people I thought they were.

I was holding on to the anger, hoping for some payback, and silently wishing bad things would happen to them so that they could feel as badly as I did.  When I started to release these feelings, I realized that I had the problem and not them.  I really began to look at things from other people’s perspectives, and by letting go of the anger, I found peace and even love.

Letting go of bad experiences is pretty a simple concept, but that doesn’t mean it is easy to do.   You think of the situation that brings up the negative emotions and asks yourself, can I let this go?  Then answer yourself honestly.  If the answer is yes, you will feel the difference almost immediately, and all of the negative will leave.

If honestly, the answer is no, you will still feel better about dealing with it. All you have to do to release it is to keep asking yourself, for me, eventually, anything that harmed me, I could let go.  This process is more complicated than it sounds because, as people, we sometimes have allowed negative experiences to define our lives.  If not for the long-term, for the short-term.  Letting go of these events and the people surrounding them can be scary.  But more dangerous still is the prospect of carrying the anger, guilt, shame, fear, etc., around you and being miserable for the rest of your life.  Practice letting goes, release the negative, and be much happier.

Happiness and joy are a choice, and the magnitude and measure of your life experiences these positives are based on your thinking.  Focus on gratitude, caring, kindness, and giving, and you will find a lot of happy moments.  Choose to focus on things you don’t have or the negative actions of others. Life is a tune that is meant to be played with positive notes. Any other music is played out of fear. Put the fear behind you.