Category Archives: 22

22

Growth Mindset Sees the World

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As I have written several times, developing a growth mindset in life seems desirable. Simply because whatever you want to achieve or add to life is there for the taking once you set your mind. You have to be willing to work for it and build improvement.  More than just the accomplishment results, it leads to an enjoyment of life that you can experience doing even the simplest of tasks.

The fixed mindset sees a world of the can or can’t but no development and doesn’t dare to place itself on the line of looking “foolish.”  Rather than accepting that life is a learning process full of different things, like a school that never has graduation.  Just when you think you have it figured out, the curriculum changes.  Creating a growth mindset allows that change and gives you the tools to enjoy the experience.

Learning Is Power

People who go into something they have never done and feel foolish for making mistakes operate from a fixed mindset.  If you develop a growth mindset, you will never feel stupid when learning something new. You will jump into the process with both feet and see what you can do with this new knowledge. It isn’t just the learning. And it’s the process of learning that is fun and exciting and allows you to move your mind, body, and spirit into new experiences.

Learning as an opportunity for growth rather than the answers on some tests will become an enjoyable experience that you seek. Some with a fixed mindset see their learning experience ending when they are done with organized school. That is usually in the early ’20s. Those who stop learning at that point are in for a harsh awakening later in life.  Learning is a lifelong process, providing pose in living and givegivesle an opportunity for continual adventure and growth. It keeps things interesting and makes this ride an enjoyable experience.

The Disease of Perfection

Perfection is a word that many people think of, which destroys people’s enjoyment in almost any experience.  People create an unrealistic expectation of perfection about their jobs, families, or life experience, and they will miss out on the joy life has for them.  It is not the finished products in life that provide joy; it is the steps along the way.  Find joy in these moments, and perfection doesn’t matter.  What is perfection but worrying about how something looks to someone else?  We are never what other people think of us.  We are a collection of our experiences, and ignoring these real things for an idea that never exists seems to be the definition of insanity.

Vince Lombardi, the legendary football coach, once said, “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.”  I think that is true, but the goal should always be excellence in attitude, behavior, and how we treat others. On the way to greatness is the chase, which you need to learn to enjoy. It is always there in the small moments of life, which are never perfect but have kindness, joy, empathy, romance, adventure, strength, and any other positive you can imagine.  Avoid the disease of perfection, which will take away the enjoyment of your life and replace it with disappointment.  Disappointed is a hard way to live your life.

See Setbacks as What They Are

Many people see a setback in their life and feel it is a personal judgment against them. They find it difficult to move past hard things. You lose a job or a relationship, and things don’t work out as you hoped. All of this can put you in a negative mindset. But the growth mindset knows that the current score is not the final score, and there is a lot more game left to go.  Bad things hurt, and nobody wants to suffer, but suffering has a place in life. It provides motivation.  Look at your situation as a step in the journey, not the destination.

You can never say what the result of any circumstance will be in the long term. Too often, our shortsighted fears stop us from accepting a painful thing as needed to reach a new height. Some people spend so much time focused on the moment’s pain and the fear of what might come next that they never recover to live their life.  Setbacks are as helpful as successes, and sometimes more, and they show where our weaknesses lie and teach us valuable information. The growth mindset knows that a failure today can be a final success in the future because the lessons learned and the knowledge gained is just what you need to improve and experience success.

Look at your thoughts and your reaction to things today and decide if you are operating from a growth mindset or not. Don’t let setbacks throw you, don’t fall into the trap of perfection, and learning is a great experience, always!!

“Every success story is a tale of constant adaptation, revision, and change.” —Richard Branson

“One can choose to go back toward safety or forward toward growth. Growth must be chosen again and again; fear must be overcome again and again.” —Abraham Maslow

“The great solution to all human problems is individual inner transformation.” —Vernon Howard

“If we don’t change, we don’t grow. If we don’t grow, we aren’t living.” —Gail Sheehy  

“The way must be in you; the destination also must be in you and not somewhere else in space or time. If that kind of self-transformation is being realized in you, you will arrive.” —Nhat Hanh

22

The Gap of Knowledge and Life

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One of the things that I have become more sure of each day is I used to know a lot more about life than I do today. You are led to believe early in life, and you will eventually figure all of this out as you gain more experience and become a bit more mature. Yet the older I get, the more I recognize the gap between life and what I know is growing wider by the moment!

This is not to say that I am becoming less intelligent. On the contrary,  it simply means that as I have gained more experience, I attain a certain level of understanding, which unfortunately causes you to know the things you have believed most of your existence about people and life has been chiefly inaccurate or become irrelevant with the discovery of new information. I am sure of much less than I used to be, and that is OK. I have learned to maintain a balance in the unknown.

What I Used To Think

 

A few years ago, I believed I knew all I needed about relationships, people, finances, politics, and religion. Any topic you wanted to discuss, I was secure in my beliefs of how the world worked and not looking to test those parameters in any way.   I was happy and satisfied, knowing I was very proper and intelligent. We are willing to turn a blind eye to investigation when we are so sure about the true nature of a thing. But life is not a predictable equation, set to the simple calculations of fools.

A funny thing happens as you get older; like old paint on the side of a building, the ideas you carry that once used to show such surety slowly display signs of wear and crack. At first, you can ignore it, but once you start to look at things closely, you realize that what you knew before without the shadow of a doubt is not in any way correct. It happens with just one small thing at first, perhaps a belief about yourself, and once that is proven false, even if it positively helps your life, it is unnerving. If one of your beliefs can be wrong, they could all be wrong, and then what can you count on??

Answers Found, Not Answers at All

Finding an answer does not end the quest; it merely leads you to ask other questions that need to be answered. This cycle continues until you realize that as you answer the many questions you have, more questions come, and soon you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you know much less than you did yesterday.

I believe it would be helpful to give you a demonstration of this process in action. The first question I ever had was, why does bad stuff happen to me?  That was it. I had experienced a string of bad luck, poor choices, and unpopular decision, add-ons, and I couldn’t fathom why this happened to me. Here is a growth opportunity.

The old me would think I didn’t deserve these bad things because I was a good person and never harmed anyone, so why am I being cursed? That often turned into a wave of self-pity and selfishness, unproductive, harmful, and just plain painful.

What I found to be the Answer

image1Life is full of experiences, some may be more pleasant to experience than others, but they all have merit and are designed to teach you something. If you are continually experiencing the same thing, perhaps you are just too dense to grasp the lesson. This was profound, and not surprisingly, those situations stopped occurring.

The questions that came next were predictable, and I think:  Is there a God? Why do bad things happen? What happens when you die? How should I feel? How should you treat others? What is the secret to being happy? What does love mean? Etc.

I am working on all these, but the most mind-boggling question has been, who am I? If you had asked me ten years ago, there would be a short easy answer, based on my job. But when you strip your occupation and titles of a family away, what are you? What makes you uniquely and individually? Is it your thoughts? Or is it the person who sees the ideas? Either way, these questions will keep coming until you have an answer.

Still Not That Smart

I do not have the complete answer to the question of who I am yet and what I am supposed to be doing here because I am not wise enough, and I may never be. I love to learn from the experiences life presents, take those I know, and apply them positively to my knowledge. I am increasing my quality of life and improving the experience for those I encounter.

So as I have searched for answers, I have found many questions. My journey displays clearly and concretely that I know much less today than I did yesterday! I am sure my knowledge will continue to shrink as I get to see the world and the universe better, and I am OK with that. How much you know it is a small thing, and it is how you use what you know to help others and make the world a little bit better place that counts.

“The older I get, the less I know. By that, I mean the less I am sure of. I view people with strong opinions on the big stuff with distrust. I don’t think we should have certainties on faith and politics; I think we should be open-minded.” Pam Ferris.

 “Science is organized knowledge. Wisdom is organized life.” Immanuel Kant

“The older you get, the quieter you become. Life humbles you so deeply as you age. You realize how much nonsense you’ve wasted time on.”Anonymous

“Never, no, never did nature say one thing and wisdom say another.” Edmund Burke

“Knowledge is knowing what to say. Wisdom knows when to say it.”Anonymous

 

 

22

It Is Through Our Choices

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It is through our choices that we determine the motion of our lives. We choose what clothes we wear, who we spend our time with, the things we do for enjoyment, or how we express ourselves creatively. We make choices all the time, and we do this in two ways, consciously and subconsciously. If you don’t like the way things are, you can choose to change it. By our choices, we set in motion the intentions for your life and start to embrace who you are. Through your decisions, you have the power to dictate how you are going to respond to any person, situation, or circumstance. Let’s look at what a choice looks like.

What is a Good Choice?

To make a good choice, there has to be some thought and consideration spent on your part. The first thing required is to be present in the moment of what is happening. Only in this presence can you adequately weigh the pros and cons of each option. Each choice has the opportunity to be the tipping point between past and future, bad and good, from one life to another, or any change at all. By making a choice, you are declaring a direction in your life. It could be a relationship or a job, but your choice will dictate the order in which your life will run and who you will be running with.

It is also a chance to declare a clear intention about who you are and what you want. Each choice you make makes your identity clearer to everybody else and yourself. Also, natural selection must be a conscious decision. Not something you drive through any previous programming because of what others will think or have told you to do. But your conscious thought tells you to do what is best for you. Because all choices are personal and individualized, suitable for someone else, they may not be good for you. Through this process, there should be feelings of empowerment and personal gratification in the end. A choice will move you toward your destiny in life. Of course, we all understand that “good” is subjective, and what is suitable for one may be tragic for another.

What is Not A Good Choice?

We do many things we think are choices, but they are actions spurred on by fear. Essentially, they are choices but not the choices we make for our best interest. Other factors are influencing us. An option should not be something you are pushed into or have to force yourself to do. It should be natural and easy to do. A choice is not scary or uncomfortable in the long run. Often a choice leads to change, and when you do something new, it can be a little frightening, but once you are in the activities of that choice, it isn’t scary. It feels good.   All of your options have to be made by you, for you. You can’t make life choices for anyone else, and they can’t make them for you.

Of course, you should never make a good choice because you think it is what someone else wants you to do. Pleasing someone else in this way in the short term leads to long-term disappointment and even resentment. Don’t let the current circumstances of society dictate your morality of choice. You are responsible for what you decide to do in all situations, don’t let outside influences or other people ever make choices for you, and never seek to do that for others. That is just control driven by fear.

It is Time For a Choice

You know it is time for a conscious choice when certain situations enter your life. If you are sitting on the fence looking at two options in your life, it is time for an alternative. Wondering which way you should go or what action you should take, it is time to choose. It could be about a job, a relationship, or anything else that matters to you that you can go one way or the other. Another time for a good choice is when you see that change is necessary for your life. It would help if you had new habits to live in step with who you are. It could be a new diet or a new workout regimen. You want to change and are willing to create new habits.

If you think about new things and feel excited about experiencing them, it is time to make some new choices. It can be a welcoming way to new learning and building your resolve to share these new things in life. A good choice will have you feeling solid in your determination to experience your life differently, more than likely in a more positive way. There will be feelings of relief around issues that previously made you upset or confused you. Now you are taking positive steps toward finding the correct answers for you.

Through our power of choice, we set our intention to embrace who we really are and how we respond to any person, situation, or circumstance.

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” —Keri Russell

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision.” —Tony Robbins

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word and thought throughout our lifetime.” —Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

 

22

Every Little Thing You Do Matters

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everything you do matters
All of your actions and thoughts determine your experience.

Looking back on my life, it has become apparent a vast array of things exist that I was never taught. There were lessons I think needed to be passed on to me I missed out on. As a young man, I lived life without real consideration for the impact of my actions or thoughts on the big picture of my life and how my actions affected others’ lives. I had no idea of the value I could provide or the influence I might have in my unique life.

I had often wondered how things might have been different if someone had pulled me aside when I was 15 and told me that everything I did mattered, for good and evil. The fact that I was creating the energy of my life led directly to my experiences. How would my life have been different if I knew I had a much more significant impact on life than I thought? Some people make things happen, and others have things happen to them.   I probably wouldn’t have listened anyway, but it would have been good to have the option.

Why It All Matters

Simply put, the things you do in your life make up who you are. You are not

Positive thinking
Try this and reap the benefits

permanently marred by a wrong decision in most cases, but until you stop the negative actions, you will see a lot of negative results. Growing up and even in my adult life, I found the convenient way more appealing for short-term comfort,  rather than doing what I knew was the right thing. Although those things might be more difficult or uncomfortable.

If you believe in quantum physics basics, all thoughts react with your cellular makeup to produce a positive or negative vibration depending on the thoughts and emotions you predominantly experience. It is the idea that what you put out into the world, you receive back. I freely admit that I didn’t buy this in the past, but my observations over the past years have led me to believe this is more important to your happiness and enjoyment of life than any other factor. Your thoughts, beliefs, and actions create your existence. You are dictating the amount of joy you find.

The thoughts to choose and Not to choose

positive action
Be a positive force in your own life!

When you choose to be kind, friendly, forgiving, loving, and grateful, these experiences you manage to get back from others. I have seen this work in my own life, and this is an easy one to test out for yourself as well. Approach the day you experience, the people you meet, and the situations you encounter positively and see what you get back.

It never seems to fail that if I am having a “bad day,” I am entertaining thoughts on the negative side, being judgmental, critical, angry, or mean. The negative focus of these thoughts and emotions will bring them more energy. So your molehill of emotions will proliferate into a mountain if you let it. Once I realize the ideas are there and I let them go, things turn around. The great thing is that anyone can do this, and it doesn’t take any more talent than being conscious of your thoughts and the energy they contain. A change in focus can happen instantaneously.

Overcome the “Bad” in Life

People in the world do bad things all the time; you always have a choice to let that person affect you negatively or to forgive them and not allow them to affect your life. A hateful act can’t be negated with more hate. Just like violence only leads to more violence, hatred will only lead to more hostility. You always have the choice of what thoughts you entertain in your life. You give others power over you when you react to a hostile act negatively.

Where your focus goes, energy flows, and you can choose not to let negative people, events, and situations drag you into a flow of negative thought. We are programmed toward the negative. If you don’t believe that, look no further than the “news” programs offered. Negative stories are the norm and are designed to make you afraid of life. Pay attention because there are far more positive people and situations in the world than negative. Please focus on the positive, give them the power of your thought, and more of the same will enter your life.

Finally Thinking What We Want

The types of thoughts we entertain and give our attention to will determine the kind of life we experience each day, and we each have the conscious ability to decide what those thoughts will be. You decide if you choose the negative side of anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, dishonesty, fear, inferiority, or ego. Or you can choose positive thoughts of joy, peace, love, hope, humility, kindness, empathy, and truth to determine the kind of world you experience.

If only I had this realization when I was a young man, I would probably be a billionaire right now because I wouldn’t waste my time on trivial things that didn’t matter. I know from the people I deal with daily that if you want to be miserable, spend your time complaining and looking for problems. If you want to be happy in life, focus on the positive things you control. Be optimistic about your life and what the future holds.

It is all up to you.

Some Great Quotes

“Live life to the fullest, and focus on the positive.” – Matt Cameron.

“Start each day with a positive thought and a grateful heart.” – Roy T. Bennett.

“Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living, and your belief will help create the fact.” – William James.

“Change may not always bring growth, but there is no growth without change.” – Roy T. Bennett.

“I think positive things will happen if you just look at life.” Jake Owen.

22

A Lucky Number

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The Power of 8

We are constantly moving in our lives. From moment to moment, we function to get something accomplished, find some reward, or avoid punishment. We move continually, and as we are personally involved, we fail to see the real trick. We are moving in a constant motion of infinity. We constantly move from place to place, situation to situation, and never take a moment to see the number of continually repeating experiences in our lives.

The relationships, job situations, tough breaks, and other life events are eerily similar because, without intervention, we are living in a very closed loop of things. The number 8. Just as this perfect number has no end and no beginning, the same can be said of our experiences. Unchecked, they will continue on and on, like the movie Groundhog Day. If we fail to learn the lessons, we will continue to live on a repeat cycle. The same thing over again and again. But we can break the cycle and move on to the next day. We can change the experiences brought by number 8.

Recognize the Futility of Fighting 8

You may read this and see the truth in the fact you are continually repeating the same experiences over and over again. At this point, you will probably want to push away the people and things you perceive as a weakness or a problem. But if life moves like number 8, it does. What will happen to all of those people and things you push so hard away from you? They will swoop right around that number and return to you just as quickly as you made them away. Denying your weakness is no way to defeat it; denial is a good step toward keeping a problem in your life forever.

Each time we deny a problem or try to accept excuses for its existence in our lives, we give that very thing we don’t want power over us and power to stay with us. How can you defeat a problem? Embrace it. Accept it as a part of you and recognize why it is there. Beliefs are the reality we accept, and most beliefs were ingrained in our minds before and up to the age of 7. After that, we pretty much got things as they are. If we believe we are bad at math, not lovable, or believe money is wrong, we will create circumstances that prove those things. Only when we change our beliefs will the experience of our infinite journey change. Until then, it is futile to fight the situation.

Infinite Dance

Our lives and experiences are all a part of the much larger infinite dance of the Universe as billions of people live their lives and, along the way, search for some meaning to it all. We search to find joy in things, love others, suffer and recover, and the cycle seems to repeat itself. So you are left looking at the number 8 and wondering if the world is fantastic and everything works in concert in a tightly choreographed dance? Or is it all a useless, meaningless experience of chance? At this moment, we are at the mercy of fate to determine if we are successful or not.

If you look closely at your life and are honest about it, you can see how your current circumstances directly and painfully accurately depict who you are and who you have been. Each choice you have made in life has led you to this moment. Suppose you are happy, then great for you. Keep making positive choices that will bring more of what you want. If you are unhappy, then understand that you can make changes in your life by choosing different things. Starting with the items, you think about life and believe about yourself and how the world works. As you expand your thought, the power of 8 will bring it back to you. You can let the infinite dance destroy you or learn how to be a better person.

Good or Bad? Here it Comes

So the number 8 will bring you exactly what you put out there. If you lie, you will be lied to. If you hurt others, you will be hurt. However, think about life, yourself, and treat other people to come back to you. The arrival of these things comes in their own time, but they will come. Examples than this have more supported nothing I have observed in my life. So it makes you think about everything you have thought, said, and done in your life. Selfish acts will harm you; acts of charity will aid you further down the line. How you treat others is most important. If you lie to people or cheat them somehow, you will have that experience.

The best way to live and take advantage of the infinite number 8 is to focus on life’s positives. Treat people well, and be honest, kind, considerate, and understanding in your dealings with others. If your character is solid and straightforward, it can’t be harmed by the narrow-minded, selfish tactics of another. When these are thrown at you, they will pass you by and return to the person who launched them. You can’t run from Karma.

Take a Moment

As you look at your life and what you are experiencing today, look at all the things coming into your life. It has been easy to place responsibility for any negative experiences. But in truth, all have been created through the choices I have made in life. I accept the responsibility for these things myself. My attachments to the results of things may or may not have been the best for me. I spend too much time running from one place to another, pushing things away hard, and now I understand the harder I push, the quicker they just come back into my existence. I am learning to embrace the things that make me, me, and my life. I assume my story and who I am as we both slide around the 8 of my life.

“You and I are essentially infinite choice-makers. In every moment of our existence, we are in that field of all possibilities where we have access to an infinity of choices.” – Deepak Chopra.

“Life is not about finding our limitations; it’s about finding our infinity” – Herbie Hancock.

“A Breath of love can take you to infinity” – Rumi.

 

 

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22

The Power of Your Choice

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What do we all have in common that makes us human?

diffent the same

No matter where you live or what you do to survive, life always boils down to our choices. From who you choose as friends to how responsible you are, it is all decided consciously. We all can choose what we experience.

 Many people have a hard time accepting responsibility for these choices in their lives, but if you look at yourself honestly and in an unbiased fashion, you will see the power your preferences have had on your life’s success or failure.

 Yet often, we fail to look closer and see the common threads that run through us all. Our choices in what we see, who we love, where we go, and what we do are all made by us alone. Think along with me and recognize the power of your choices as you do.

One Connection Through us All

I think that we are all connected.  You are reading this, and my miles away from you, a person you have never met, are connected.  I believe in the energy we produce each all connectedday through the tenor and intention of the thoughts we create.

 Some see God as a being that exists somewhere, guiding us from afar or judging us either good or bad in our actions. Based on some outward notions of right and wrong.

Yet, it seems that God is much closer and more involved than that. He is inside each of us, and when you can quiet your mind, you can hear that power in all things. God doesn’t judge. God guides. How well we listen will provide joy or disappointment in our experience.

I am not looking for a fight to convince you of anything or change what you believe because that is your Connection and, of course, your choice. I know that I have never felt more connected and sure than I do now.  We all have this Connection inside of us and need to look for it and listen to it to know what we should do.  We are all connected, and that makes us human. It is your choice to determine how that Connection affects your life. I feel that anything that provides separation of people is not from God, and anything that connects people is.

The Choice of Kindness

tumblr_lejihkylQ41qcre5zo1_500When I look at all people, I think we all have the choice of kindness every day in all situations we encounter.

Someone yells at you unfairly, and you have a choice, hug them or punch them in the face.  Someone gives you a gift, and you have the same choice. The choice of your action is always with you, not someone else.

 I have never encountered a situation where kindness was not the right thing to do or didn’t make a bad situation better.

 It eases the pain, boosts morale, and makes people feel generally good and hopeful about the future.  All of these happy ships of thought are sent through acts of kindness.  We all choose to be kind or cruel; you decide what the people in your life will be experiencing. The ability to choose to share hearts makes us all human.

Greatness Lies In Us

All people are born with a great talent of some kind. Unfortunately, life seems to present us with a relentless avalanche of experiences tgreatnesshat cause us to forget what this talent is. To the point that we forget we possessed it in the first place.

 There is a passion inside of you and me that is our own. Each of us has this; once you investigate it, you will find your path. The one that makes you truly happy and allows you to connect to life in the best way possible.

Dreams are the vehicles that these passions follow.  You dream of what you would love to do with your life, and your passion and talent make this happen.  Sometimes we create our roadblocks by overthinking things and believing the negativity that others provide.

What if this happens? Or if only that should happen? Or any other million possible limiting questions that can impede you from simply reaching for your dream.  It may seem daunting and too much of a chance, but the only way you will ever know is to create the journey toward your goals. The journey is a powerful thing because that is where life lessons exist.

How much will I cherish the lessons I learn on the way?  Mistakes are great teachers and often bring tasks you need to know to reach the dream eventually.   We are all searching for our true selves and the ability in us that will make us great. Your choice is to seek this talent or let it lie dormant forever. You can’t blame anybody else.

The Dark Side

One of the scary parts of having the freedom to choose is that from time to time, we are going to

We all have a darkness, without it we couldn't recognize the light.
We all have darkness; without it, we couldn’t recognize the light.

Choose wrong.  There is a dark side in everyone, and all people are capable of great goodness and great evil, and it is one of the mysteries that make life delicious to taste. It is a choice.

 Everyone has been on the dark side at some point, and it may have seemed like it was for a good cause, but when you choose anger, fear, intolerance, or hate, you choose the dark side of humankind.

 I am not wise enough to know why, and I only observe and know that from what I have seen, both darkness and light do exist inside every person I have ever met, including myself.

 Accepting this fact is not difficult because nobody is perfect. I recall all the times I chose for selfish, fear-driven reasons, and I know I could have done better.  It is not a criticism of people, only an observation of fact.

 All people have a dark side. Putting it aside and maintaining the light is a show of strength, which is the most difficult choice.

 We are all the same

All people have so much in common that I often find it inconceivable that hate exists merely for arbitrary reasons, race, religion, culture, region, or even sexual orientation.

If people focused on what we have in common rather than their differences, the world would be friendlier and more productive.  I know that people attacking differences in others is a defense mechanism to make them feel safe, but I can always hope that it will change and our commonalities will be more important than how we are different.

What were the most powerful choices in your life?

 

22

The Benefits of Your Stillness

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The stillness of life is going to provide all people with significant benefits. No matter where you go to find it, the peace and tranquility of time spent relaxing your body and retreating in your mind from the hustle of everyday life can calm your nerves and revitalize your brain. Seek out the places that are special to your heart and your soul. Quiet contemplation is essential for all people’s development as human beings. Finding a balance between time with others and time for yourself is one of the significant learning challenges of life. Here is a look at the benefits that can come from moments of meditation or simple stillness when we breathe more deeply, see more fully, hear more acutely, and find an understanding of who we are.

Reboot the Brain

One of the most significant benefits of time alone is that it allows you to reboot your brain. Thoughts are coming at you in rapid-fire succession, and being able to step back and look at the ideas you have been entertaining allows you to stop focusing on the ones that are not serving you and your life and focus on the things you want to be a priority. Unwinding and revamping are great uses of time for yourself.

This will also allow your brain to improve its work by increasing your ability to concentrate and focus your thoughts. Hone in on the ideas that resonate with you and move you toward the experiences you want. A higher level of productivity will result from having some alone time. Goals are created, and the path to accomplishing them is formed in these moments spent in quiet contemplation of our lives.

Creates Better Relationships

Having time to yourself makes your relationships better. Without time to create and think about ways to improve your life, stagnation is the only other option. Interacting with others brings new perspectives into your life, and time to yourself helps you evaluate all your views. By knowing yourself better and liking who that person is, you have much more to bring back to a relationship in caring, kindness, experiences, thoughts, and words. All are increased by having time to think by yourself.

Alone time allows you to increase your ability to practice empathy toward other people and their situations in life. In times of deep thought, an understanding can help you know what will make you happy and allow all things in your life to move with more synchronicity. When problems do exist, this is time to work through them from the thoughts you have, the emotions they elicit, and what action to take to alleviate the pain you may be in. Bringing these discoveries back to your relationships creates more honest and powerful connections with others.

Finding Your Balance

This can be a difficult thing to do. Either we spend too much time with others, allowing no time to ourselves, or we are trapped in a seemingly endless cycle of being by ourselves, looking for more connections. There is a healthy balance I think we are all striving for. It all begins, I believe, with accepting who you are and liking that person. Never feel wrong about the things you enjoy doing. If they don’t hurt anyone, do them freely and joyfully. Follow your interests, and you will also meet people with similar interests.

For all things, there is time. A time to be alone and a time to have company and understand what works for you will lead to your happiness. Society would like to tell you what they think, but I urge you not to listen to societal messages. We are all individual programs; what works for someone else and makes them happy will not work for me. Too often, people feel something is wrong with them if they don’t fit into a specific mold. Fit into your mold. Be yourself and find the time to develop your person and the life you want to live. Find the stillness and listen to the voice within you when you are there.

“All true artists, whether they know it or not, create from a place of no-mind, from inner stillness.”-Eckhart Tolle.

“The stillness in stillness is not the real stillness; only when there is stillness in movement does the universal rhythm manifest.”-Bruce Lee.

“Empty yourself of everything. Let the mind become still.
The ten thousand things rise and fall while the Self watches their return.
They grow and flourish and then return to the source. Returning to the source is stillness, which is nature’s way.”-Laozi.

 

22

Just Taking Some Action

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Taking action
Taking Action can be scary, but it is the one thing you can do right now to move toward your goals.

An individual’s most significant power is to analyze a situation, determine if it benefits them, and then take Action to enhance the current situation or move in a new direction. Taking Action is a necessary factor in any success story.

The difference between those who are successful and those who are not is the Action they take each day to move toward their goals. Want to write a book? Start writing. Want to build a car? Start building. Want to have love in your life? Start loving others. Making the conscious choice to take Action is the most empowering thing you can do. Here are five benefits that taking Action will bring into your life.

Taking Action Eliminates Fear

fear 33Human beings are always dreaming. We can accomplish who we want to be, and fear is the most significant thing stopping us. Fear of failure, if we don’t find success, then what? I don’t want to look foolish. Failure is the first step to achieving anything.

Reevaluate, re-plan, and try again, fearlessly through Action. Fear of success, if you become successful in your dream, what? Action eliminates fear and will allow you to become what you dream of. Without Action, nothing will ever happen. Taking Action will eliminate fear, which is the only thing that can.

You Know Where You Stand by Taking Action

Until you test an idea or theory with Action, you never know if it will work or not. So you can sit there where is standwith great dreams and plans, thinking about how much money you will make or how famous you will be when this great “thing” is done. Take Action and see if that book will sell, that invention will make millions, or that business can’t fail. The move will allow you to evaluate where you are and what work your dreams need to be great. Without Action, the greatest ideas will be castles in the air.

If you want to have a relationship with a particular person, you will never know what might happen if you never take Action to ask them out. Activity will display a measuring stick; if the relationship is not going to happen, you can stop wasting your time and move on to something more productive. Taking specific Action toward your goal will reveal the reality of the situation and the distance required to travel.

Taking Action Calls for Help

One of the great benefits of taking Action is that your intentions are displayed to the world, and through Action, you help to achieve what you want as that avenue arrives. By actually taking steps to begin and starting toward your goal, people of similar interests may be drawn to you. Someone else may have the missing piece to your puzzle of success. If you have an open mind and accept others’ ideas, success may be just on the other side of a simple action.

Energetically, I believe that what you seek is also seeking you. Setting your intention into fact through Action will attract similar people to you. Take Action and draw the assistance you need, or take no action and sit in quiet, unsuccessful anonymity.

Taking Action shows Commitment to Your Success.

commitmentOnce you take Action toward a goal, it becomes real, and once a dream starts to become real, our commitment to its ultimate success increases. Until this point, it was just an idea on a planning board, but now that you have taken Action, your vision has started to come to life. Becoming committed to a tangible thing is much easier than an idea. Thoughts are powerful, but thoughts can change and be easily discarded. The reality is much more persistent. Once the first domino is pushed, it is natural to follow the string. It is taking the next Action and the one needed after that.

Memories of the Journey

So there you are, looking for success, planning your wildest dreams, and all it needs to become a reality is taking actionfor you to have the courage to take Action. Make a call, start a website, publish that, arrange that article, sell that, pitch the idea, and be brave and unafraid to fail. Sitting still is safe but will never allow you to finish a race.

The path to success in anything will be a journey from planning through Action to evaluating your efforts. The journey along the way will supply the stories you remember fondly and the relationships forged in the accomplishment. It all begins with taking Action.

  • An idea not coupled with Action will never get bigger than its occupied brain cell.
    ~ Arnold Glasow
  • You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.
    ~ Joe Sabah
  • Don’t be afraid to take a big step. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.~ David Lloyd George
  • We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.~ Aristotle
  • The superior man acts before and afterward and speaks according to his Action.
    ~ Confucius
  • The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions.  ~ Confucius

 

22

Forget About it!

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forget_what_hurt_you-29022Painful experiences in life affect people in significant ways. They can cling to you and invade everything you do daily, coloring your existence with doubt and questions about your self-worth and value. Some people and events have hurt us down to our core, and it seems we may never get over it, but we need to heal to move on and be the productive people we were meant to become. There are valuable life lessons to learn here, which are well paid for.

It may seem that forgetting the person or thing that hurt us is impossible, and perhaps it is, but one thing is for sure; until you do stop dwelling on it or them, that bad experience will be following you around, sapping your energy and stealing your happiness until you decide to put it in the past and move on. You have control over what you think about.

I Can’t Possibly Forget Life Lessons.

You may believe that whatever hurt you was so vast, significant, massive, and traumatic that, of course, you can never forget it. Isn’t this a choice? What if you did forget it? What would change? Just for a moment, imagine how your life would change if this “thing” weren’t with you anymore. Would your life be happier?

Some sound advice I got was that once we have released the energy of bothering us, we make room in our lives for other things to enter that will fill those spaces. Since we are wiser and have learned our lessons, we will only let things in that are there to serve us.

Letting go of things that hurt us can be challenging because the pain has become a part of our lives. I guess we learn how to deal with it and that coping has given us some strength—remembering the painful things people have done gives them power and takes us from them. Maybe a better way to say this is to change your focus on the positive decisions you can’t make. One horrible and painful experience doesn’t define you or diminish the power, strength, kindness, caring, and love in you all the time. It just makes it hard for you to see it in yourself.

We Have No Choice About What happens to Us.

Sometimes we have no choice about what happens to us. People lie to us, steal, take advantage of us, or hurt us physically. That is their choice: how we respond to that is our choice. It life lessonsalways will be. If you choose to remember a wrong and carry it with you as a reminder of how poorly people can behave, you will isolate yourself from so much of the good that people can be.

Because there is always an opposite side of all things, where there is violence, there is peace. Where there is stealing, there is giving, and where there is hate, there is always love. I think that when you let a bad situation pervade your life forever and become a part of your story, there is no room for healing. Healing can’t come until you focus on the recovery and not on the person or thing that hurt you. You alone decide what defines you in your life, and there is no way anyone else could.

Remember The Life Lessons

The lessons we are taught through pain allow us to avoid being hurt in the future. The life lessonslessons that pain teaches are vast and deep. Being hurt will enable us to grow and positively change our lives if we decide to move that way. Each of the scars I have accumulated has gone a long way in developing wisdom and understanding that was not there before. I would like to have avoided them, but they happened, and I can’t go back and change the past.

The best I can do is to take the lesson, move forward with a positive attitude, and understand that I did the absolute best I could. Most other people are doing the same thing. Learning in the school of life is not an explicit curriculum. The lessons can come from the strangest places, and experiences always allow you to see a path to becoming your best self. Perhaps you will find this person right there, just on the other side of a painful lesson.

“Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, an hour, a day, or a year, but eventually, it will subside, and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” Lance Armstrong

“The marks humans leave are too often scars.” John Green

“Turn your wounds into wisdom.” Oprah Winfrey

“Some old wounds never truly heal and bleed again at the slightest word.” George R.R. Martin

Time to Forget……………….

 

22

Why Build a Growth Mindset?

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Do you have a philosophy of growth in your life? Or do you feel that you have the intelligence, skill, and talent that you were born with, and that is it? Answering these questions honestly can help you find the path to a more enjoyable and fulfilling life or a life of lack, worry, fear, and never measuring up. Life is either an exciting learning experience where you embrace challenges and learning or a fixed experience where you feel there is nothing else to learn and no growth you can achieve. Or perhaps you have a combination of both in your makeup. There are many benefits to developing a growth mindset when you approach your life. I wanted to share 15 positive things about developing a growth mindset.

A brief explanation: Fixed mindset believes talent is everything, and they are doomed to failure if they are not blessed with the talent to do something. The growth mindset believes whatever someone wants to achieve is there to take as long as you are willing to dedicate to the goal and continue to improve toward meeting the challenges and overcoming failure.

Benefits of an attitude of growth.

  1. Life is an adventure to be enjoyed. Even when you need to do something better, there is an understanding that it can be better, more fun, and learn it. Where you start isn’t where you are going to end up. Enjoy the ride to accomplishment.
  2. Higher Self Esteem is a result of the growth mindset. When you feel that you can learn and grow into a situation, it will also improve your insight because you will not look at things as they are but as they might be when you are done.
  3. Your relationships will be better because they are not what they are but continually growing and becoming better. When two people decide to pursue something, it is better to achieve and has more power than one person by themselves.
  4. Our society often makes people feel less intelligent if they do not know something. In the growth mindset, you never feel stupid for not knowing. Asking, learning, growing, and mastering are all part of the process. Nobody knows everything, and to pretend you do is delusional.
  5. Perfection is a staple of the fixed mindset. A growth mindset doesn’t need to be perfect because perfection is impossible. We can always strive to become great at what we want to do. In trying, our talent develops, and we build mastery of things. Perfection is a silly thing to hold onto because it is an illusion. Better to be excited to learn about doing things better, growing as a person, and achieving things you set your mind to. 
  6. Confidence is one of the assets we all need to thrive in life—the higher your level of faith, the higher your achievement is open to you. As you develop a growth mindset, you will know that no matter where you are right now, accomplishing your goals is something you can do if it is physically possible. Confidence in your ability to learn, adapt, overcome obstacles, and be the best person you can be will also grow to an all-time high. 
  7. When you know that you can accomplish many different things, your attitude becomes more positive because you realize that you are in control of this game in the long run. Your choices are going to lead to your reality. It is much more difficult to experience some forms of depression when you have a purpose and are working toward it. That is the growth mindset. 
  8. It is also a skill to take responsibility for everything in your life. Never looking for someone or something to blame for where you are is a skill that will allow you to develop a strong mentality. Excuses and blame establish the victim’s psyche and take away all of your power. Taking responsibility gives you all the power.
  9. The growth mentality allows you to see single events as just that. A single event that you have the power to deal with and overcome any obstacle that it plants in your way. Each day is new and brings a unique experience to all of us. Yesterday was an event; only fear and a fixed mindset make it more than that. 
  10. A growth mindset will allow you to become more resilient when things go wrong because you will have confidence in your ability to create a positive outcome even if one, two, or three setbacks are experienced. It isn’t the show’s end; it is only the beginning and a chance to grow. 
  11. All setbacks will be helpful with the growth mindset because you will have a chance to improve old skills or develop new ones to get past the current challenge. All challenges are viewed as positive because it allows you to become better. 
  12. The Growth mindset allows you to let go of any stress you may have when proving yourself because you don’t have to. You will develop an attitude that you will be your best every day. It may mean a different thing depending on the day, but proving yourself is unnecessary.  
  13. Putting time and effort into a project, you are committed to being a good thing, not something to be feared. Many fixed mindset people have difficulty doing anything that doesn’t come easily to them. In a growth mindset, people know that improvement is the cost of practicing and working at something. 
  14. You make a better company for others when you have a growth mindset. Wouldn’t you spend time with someone optimistic, understanding, and always learning about new things, who has confidence and isn’t destroyed by each little setback they come across? That makes you a much better company for others. 
  15. Finally, the growth mindset allows you to see all of us as equal in our journey. Some are further along and using all of their growth gifts, and others are stuck in a fixed mindset, but that doesn’t make anyone any better than anyone else. We are all equal and can master new things and grow.

So, developing a growth mentality is essential to becoming the best you can be. To become more confident and make your dreams come true by knowing you can make a plan, and through a commitment to them, you can achieve almost anything.

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who had kept on trying when there seemed no hope at all.”- Dale Carnegie

“Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance.”- Samuel Johnson

“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.”- Margaret Thatcher

“Dreams don’t work unless you do.”- John C. Maxwell

“Would you like me to give you a formula for success? It’s quite simple, really. Double your rate of failure.”- Thomas Watson

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.”- Theodore Roosevelt

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”- Albert Einstein

“Challenges are what make life interesting. Overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. “- Joshua J. Marine

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”- George Bernard Shaw