Category Archives: 22

22

We Belong at Home Base

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The choice we all have in front of us.

One of the most fundamental ideas a person needs is a clear idea of the direction they want to be heading in.  Using a compass as a metaphor, it is easy to see we have four significant directions to choose from, each with various benefits, hopes, dangers, and possibilities.  I often think of my direction and think long and hard about which move would be the best for me right now.  North? South? West? Living in Maine, East isn’t an option if I plan to stay on this continent.  But there is Europe.  We all must choose a direction in life and have the courage to follow it through to its end.

That is the kicker, and we will never know if we are right or not until we try. That is a terrifying proposition, but don’t let fear stop you from chasing your destination in whatever direction you must travel. I am restless, and I know I am looking for something that feels like home, and I will go wherever it requires me to find that destination, both inside of myself and in the experience of the outer world, because home is where we all belong.

Searching for Home

I have been fortunate to have many different places to call home in my life. All left a mark on me in one way or another. Some were pleasant, almost magical places. That time has taken and molded my thoughts and memories into something better than I am sure it was.  Places have all the power we give to them in our thoughts, but they are just locations. Buildings don’t have souls once the people we care about leave them. They are just buildings. Memories are stored in our minds and can be brought back to life in one form or another at any time we choose. Home is not a physical place.

Of course, home is a spiritual destination we are all traveling to find. You set your sites. You start to walk. Sometimes others join you, and you know home must be the most beautiful place in the Universe. The warmth that love brings is like a comforting blanket but all the more painful when all you have is a memory of that, and you are walking your road alone.  The journey we travel on the inside may be longer and more complicated than any cross-country trip you have ever taken. Our minds can sometimes create considerable mountains in our way, and we must walk across them if we are to find our home.  Facing our fears, our losses, or self-incrimination. But the hero will always overcome, and home is the ultimate reward.  I Believe home is somewhere, or more accurately ‘In there somewhere.

Where to Go?

We all face this question when searching for the place we belong to. Where do we want to go? What do we want to do? And whom do we want to do these things with? The answer to these questions is simple and complicated, and it will be given in your heart. Listening to your heart will give you an answer about where you want to go, what to do, and who to spend your time with. Listening is not a strong suit for most people. We are spending our time thinking we have the best answers, and these are the very patterns of behavior that have made us unhappy and further from home in the first place.

Seeing destinations as outer places can be a mistake because the longest journey is often the one we take inside ourselves, and we are searching for something we had back at the beginning of things. Each step we take outwardly toward something we think we want takes us further from the place we are meant to be on the inside.  Take a moment, take a breath, and turn off the mind. You can travel 10,000 miles and visit many different countries and still not be any closer to finding the peace you have been seeking your whole life, in your own feeling of home.  It has been there, inside of you all along.

Start Again

Once you realize that, it is a tie to start another journey. Put it in your heart, the feelings you value, the person you want to be.  This is a time of remembering, and it is at this moment you decide to start walking your life’s path.  Some places we go to will be fantastic, and some will be not so great. The path provides value to the trip.  Your growth as a person and understanding of life will be the ultimate result of your journey.  The long path of life leads us here and there, chasing fortune, fame, and love, and in the end, we are softly deposited with the realization we are right back where we started the trip. Home is inside you.

“To dare is to lose one’s footing momentarily. To not dare is to lose oneself.”
-Søren Kierkegaard
“The traveler sees what he sees. The tourist sees what he has come to see.”
Gilbert K. Chesterton
“Focus on the journey, not the destination. Joy is found not in finishing an activity but in doing it.”  -Greg Anderson.
“Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.”  -Samuel Smiles.
“Remember, the work of art lives in the experience, the journey within the process, not in the resulting monument to be presented in a certified art-place.” – Eric Booth

22

Life Begins Where Fear Ends

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Overcoming fearEvery day, every person in the world, at one level or another, experiences fear in their lives. It is how we deal with our fears that go a long way in determining how we enjoy our lives or slog through them in a haze of day-to-day worry about things that might happen or what another person might think of us.  Will we ever be happy? Will we ever be safe? Will we ever find love? What will tomorrow bring?  All questions we ask on our way to the conclusion of our life generate fear about worry of what we will do if the answer to any of these questions is negative.

Fear can become a pervasive part of your life, but it doesn’t cover you like a blanket. Fear creeps into your life through any insecurity or bad experience. Once inside of you, it grows like a virus, and the more negative you become, the bigger your fear.  There is only one way to defeat it: to recognize it and shine a light on it.  Easy to say and difficult to do, but necessary to become the best version of yourself possible.

Fears Control Us

Fear is our brain warning us about the potential of pain or harm. Often it is based on

overcoming fear
Are you really going to let fear control you?

Experiences that we have had in the past. It is driven by your ego and determines your behavior and actions in all situations, from job performance to dating. Fear is there pushing you. From the time we are children, we have to deal with our fears. Monsters in the closet, the dark, or heights are examples. But fear is just a thought in your mind you are paying too much attention to.

Most fears are no more real than the tooth fairy, and the pain they can cause is all self-induced. Thoughts in the mind that are sending warnings to us that might be or might not be real. The danger is real, it can hurt you, but fear can’t; it is only the thought of the pain that may or may not ever occur. This fear stops you from putting yourself fully out there into life. Life is going to happen; if you spend your time in fear of the worst-case scenarios, then you will never act bravely, try something new or be your own unique self. Soon you will be overcoming fear.

Living Fearless Overcoming Fear

This is the part that is so difficult because, as humans, we are conditioned to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Yet to get the latter, we often have to endure some of the overcoming fearformer. This is the way that life works. There will be a certain level of risk involved in attempting to achieve any goal. That is what makes it valuable. Assume the risk of being hurt to achieve greatness. If you should fail, the pain is the price of trying again, and as in all things, you are left with a choice. To move forward, try again, or stay still and let the fear of future pain discourage your efforts.

Every dream in the history of humanity was achieved with the risk of pain attached to it. Most involved some failure and doubt along the way until the goal was achieved. Only the perseverance of the individual involved allowed anything to be achieved. They were no different from you. You will be tested to think, experience, find, discover, and grow on your journey. Most great things aren’t going to be easy because the journey’s difficulty is what provides their value. Don’t let the fear of a temporary setback cause a permanent roadblock to your dreams.

“Life begins where fear ends.” Osho~Overcoming Fear

 

22

Thinking About Positive Thoughts

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positive thought“Every good thing begins with one positive thought.” ~Bryant Mcgill

Do you realize any small, minuscule, infinitesimal positive thoughts you entertain in your head could lead to great things in your life?  Our thoughts build on themselves, adding momentum to whatever you create.  They remind me of being a kid and building a snowman. You start with a small round ball that easily fits in the hands of the smallest of children. Then you put it on the ground covered in snow and roll it along. The ball will grow in size as long as you can find the power to push it along. Soon you have created a snowball that is so big it is difficult to pick up. You need three of these snowballs to create a decent snowman.  carefully placing each on top of the other and decorating it in the fashion you choose

That is the way of our thoughts. As we move them around, they collect more of the same charge of energy you used to create it, and soon your little thought has transformed into an action, which can be duplicated by others, and soon it can’t be stopped. You are the potential catalyst for all good things that happen in the world, and of course, you can be a part of the negative aspects.  We each decide how our thoughts will infect the world around us in every small moment.  Does the snowman you are building wear a smile or a frown?

Positive Thinking

positive thought
Like a snowball rolling down a hill, your positive thought can grow to enormous size! Choose your small thoughts carefully. They can destroy or create the world.

So what does it mean to have to think more positively?  Every second of each day, there is a choice that all people have regarding the thoughts they entertain. I have heard the average person has about 70,000 thoughts a day. Our minds are constantly creating ideas, opinions, and interpretations based on our experience in the world. Thinking positively is a choice somebody has to make; we all choose this course, or we choose to be negative.  It isn’t anybody else’s fault. You choose the thoughts of love over fear, and you are on your way to a positive mind frame.

To be more specific about these choices, there are choices of love over hate, laughter over crying, creating over destroying, perseverance over quitting, praise rather than gossip, healing thoughts and actions over those that hurt another or yourself, giving rather than taking, action over procrastination, growth over stagnation, or choose to live rather than to exist.  Each favorable decision will allow for your energy to grow in either direction. Positive or negative, it is all up to you, and the most minor positive thought can lead to at least one small good thing. As with all things, there is a possibility of growth, just like the snowball.  This can be created in either direction, again chosen by you alone.

What Are You Growing Today?

So the challenge for you today is to look at the thoughts you are entertaining. Where do they fall on the chart, positive or negative? Our thoughts lead positive thoughtto words that lead to actions that lead to the reality we are experiencing. Look at your thoughts critically and ask: Is this a thought I would like to grow? If it isn’t, it is time to make a different choice. Our future is created in every choice of thought we make today, at this moment.

We are responsible for the reality we create through our thoughts and our personal energy. Are your snowballs made of white clean snow containing all of life’s potential? Or do they contain the dirt and grime of negative thoughts brought on by negativity?  Life is created through energy, and you, yes, you, play a part in charge of the energy around you in your life and how others in your life experience because of you. Positive attracts positive, and negative attracts the same.  So the snowball you hold in your hand at the beginning will determine the type of snowman you are left with at the end. You are responsible for that in all moments of your life. What are you building? Watch your thoughts.

Every good thing begins with one positive thought.  Keep in mind that the reverse is also true.

“Change your thoughts, and you can change your world.” –Norman Vincent Peale

“There is only one corner of the universe, you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” –Aldous Huxley.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” –Alice Walker.

 “You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.” –Rachel Hollis.

“If you say you can or you can’t, you are right either way.” –Henry Ford

22

Surrender To Change In Life

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One of the hardest things to do is surrender and let go of your worries about a situation you are experiencing. We are trained from a young age to think we are responsible for everything happening around us. We are not. Events always occur without our blessing, permission, or even our knowledge.

Change is a constant companion, and most don’t welcome it.  Under the disguise of creating the best scenario for ourselves and those we love, we resist many changes and fight against the inevitable. Surrender is not giving up or letting someone walk all over you. That is being a pushover. Surrender is letting go of the mental and emotional attachment to what is.  It is healthy and valuable to your personal growth and enjoyment of life.  Things are going to change and be what they are. All things are continually evolving and morphing into something else. Surrender to this fact and accept what is.

What Is

Some things occur that are real and something you have to deal with. No matter how hard you resist their existence, they are still there.  Many life changes scare people and force them to do things they don’t necessarily want to do. Sometimes you may like how things are going and see a change as a threat.  If things can change, even in a small way, then significant changes can also happen, which isn’t very comforting. The understanding that nothing is permanent is a disheartening thought but a persistent and honest one.  Because it drives home the actual fact that we are not permanent and will one day die, this ride will end. Along the way, all people will get old.  All people will become ill. All relationships will eventually end.

Surrendering your emotions to these inevitable facts will allow you to enjoy the good stuff that comes into your existence and makes up for what happens in your life. This moment is all there is. We can’t live in the past. As good as it seems to you,  it is done and over, and we can’t live in a future that may never be.  Surrender to this moment and the things you can experience right now. This is accepting what is and living your life rather than putting resistance to the present moment because of your fear. Jump into what exists and find the joy available at this moment. It is what it is.

What you Miss

When you resist what is, you cut yourself off from many of the good things in life that make the experience of being alive great. Like shutting yourself in a room with no windows, and just on the other side of those walls are great people, the world around you, and your own greatness. But resistance to what is keeps all of those things away from you.  This is because you are increasing the feelings of separateness. When you feel separate, then you feel more vulnerable and alone. This is all an illusion brought on by a refusal to surrender to what is. The temperature outside may be hot, you can either surrender to it and take measures to enjoy it, or you can resist it, whine about it, complain, and experience no joy in the day. It is always your choice.

We have all created an identity throughout our lives the outside world sees, or more clearly, what we let the outside world see.  We protect what is inside us because showing our most authentic selves makes us vulnerable. What if others don’t like it? We resist showing our true selves too often. This resistance to who we are creates separateness from ourselves, and we live a life as an imposter.  Surrendering who we are creating an opportunity to be unleashed on the world. That is an excellent thing for us and the world as well. If more people were living from their true selves, there would be less anger, fear, and hate in the world.

It Comes Clear

When we surrender to who we are and accept things as they are, rather than the identity we have created to show the world with our job, possessions, status, or reputation, we surrender to our proper form. The outer crust of fake identity becomes transparent, and greatness can shine through.  Whatever you call this essence, The Universe, God, Power, or however you relate to it. It will shine through best when you are yourself. Who cares if somebody else doesn’t like it?

All judgments of others, anger toward others, and fear come from a resistance to being who you are. Surrender to the great things inside of you. They are there, no matter who you are or what you have done.  Each of us is not separate; we are connected through a force inside us.  Acceptance and surrender go hand in hand and allow us to experience life the best we can and to become the best representation of ourselves that we can be. The ride will be taken regardless, and your attitude and acceptance determine the joy you will have and the fulfillment you will enjoy.

Take time today to surrender to what is and who you truly are. It is the greatest gift you have and the one that will mean the most to you and the world.  Stop fighting against events, loss, sadness, joy, happiness, or whatever else is coming into your life today. Surrender to the feelings you have and be the great person you are meant to be.  YOU!!

 “Some of us think holding on makes us strong, but sometimes it is letting go.” -Hermann Hesse

 “There’s a victory in letting go of your expectations.” -Mike White

 “To design the future effectively, you must first let go of your past.” -Charles J. Givens

“The creative process is a process of surrender, not control.” -Julia Cameron

 “If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.” -Anne Morrow Lindbergh

22

Moving Outside the Box

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Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?

My initial response is no, but when I look back, there have been many.

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
The Screaming Man did.

I have seen that I initially dismissed it as insanity from my perspective but could see that the situation was creativity.

The most creative people create from a place that does not fit society’s norms and expectations. It comes down to your judgments of what is insanity and what is creativity.

Different was Bad

As I grew up and got my indoctrination into the world, I think I was conditioned to view anything different from the norm as bad or undesirable.

One of my favorite teachers fell under this category. I was a sophomore in high school full of hormones and wanted to get through life as quickly as possible.

I had decided to adopt an attitude of not trying because it didn’t seem good enough for those responsible for my education whenever I did. I especially hated writing because there were too many rules.

Then came this class, the teacher was a woman who looked at life differently from me, and to me, she was a little bit insane. In retrospect, I can say wholeheartedly she was not the least bit crazy. She cared and was willing to do whatever it took to allow us to grow as young people. My education would have been much more valuable with more teachers like her.

Winds of Change

Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
Picasso

She saw our class’s problem as a group that didn’t like English, writing, or each other. She went on a one-woman campaign to change all of those factors.

I remember she had us doing group-building activities outside on the field and in the classroom, and of course, at first, I was thinking, “This is stupid, and I hate it.”

But as I got to know her and the others in my class, I began to find that I liked writing things and having someone else see what I thought.

The writing wasn’t all rules; it was creativity and capturing what you think and feel. That you could express yourself this way was a revelation!

The insanity that had been her method to me led to the creativity of not only myself but many of the others in the class.

It is many years later, and I have relearned the lessons about writing that I learned many years ago. I am grateful to all of the people who have motivated and taught me something, and I know that tenth-grade English class was the first time I saw insanity and later saw creativity.

The Box is for Crackers

I believe this is an essential concept because most of the great.

Thinking Outside the Box
Keep your thinking here!

Discoveries and genuinely original work come from individuals who think outside the box and may be considered a little insane in their process and thoughts.

Think outside the box as often as you can, don’t let anyone else’s societal expectations change the way you think or dim the great thoughts and deeds in us all.

Don’t let your ideas be dismissed as insanity, stick to them, and they will set you free and most likely change the world.

 

22

Some Life Lessons Learned

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What Life Lessons have YOU learned Recently?

life lessonsOne of the great things about life is that no matter what you are doing, there is always an opportunity to learn new things and grow. I am very fortunate because life has been intent on teaching me many things over the past ten years or so.

I was fortunate to develop a questioning of myself and the world, which allows me to look at situations from a different perspective than I did earlier in life. These are the three life lessons my experience has seen clear to teach me to provide me with a little recent wisdom.

The proof is In the Practice of life lessons.

No matter what your philosophy of life is, it is nothing more than theory until it is put into practice. When I took advanced math classes in high school, the question was life lessonsalways raised, “This is all great, but when will I ever use it in real life?”

A personal philosophy is similar to this. You can think you know how to treat people and act, but until you are put into several successive situations and remember to follow what you believe, it is merely a nice thought. This has been my fortune lately to be continually placed into situations where my decisions reflect my beliefs.

Sometimes I am fortunate enough to be perfect in action and words. But there are more times when I have moments of failure and am fortunate enough to evaluate what I have done wrong so that I can hopefully do better the next time.

I have been trying to be a good person and do the right things and having the opportunity to practice that every day is a real blessing. Life lessons are all like that. How have you been doing with honesty, caring, and treating others with the respect and kindness they deserve? You will know if you need to work on this or not.

Life Lessons Learned by Avoiding Multitasking

Today it seems like people take a lot of pride in being able to multitask well. That is to Single purpurea flower from above (Páty / Hungary) [NIKON D7000].work on several things at once. It can appear a fantastic thing to watch. Yet, for me, it doesn’t work well. I get so many balls in the air that I can never pay close attention to anyone of them.

That means that although they all get done oftentimes after a task, I feel like I could have done it better. This is due to the distraction of doing a lot of things at once. We can only focus on one thing at a time, and multitasking is not doing several things at once but quickly shifting our focus from one thing to another. Each time we do, there is a momentary attentional blink that occurs. At this moment, we lose all focus. This moment becomes longer as we tire throughout the day.

The optimal method for me would be to do one task until it is completed and then move on to the next. When I can focus my energy in this manner, I am most effective in creating success. When the focus gets lost, I try to do everything at once so that projects slip off the rails and do not get my full attention. Focus on the one thing that needs to be completed is the way to go for me. I am constantly challenged to add more to the list, but it is impossible.

Energy Follows Intent

Lastly, I have learned recently that energy follows intent. When You set your mind up on something, you add energy to it. Whatever you add energy to is going to multiply. life lessonsThis can work both positively and negatively. Focus on what you are lacking, and more lack will follow. Focus your thoughts on what you are grateful for, and more of that will also show up in your life.

If you set your intent to find fault and problems with people, that will be exactly what you find all around you. Your thoughts will inevitably be followed by the words and the actions that support those things. In effect, what you believe you will see.

The same is true for the positives in life. If you have a high degree of intent to see the good in people, get the best out of them, and give the best yourself, then that is what you will do. The thought will lead to the words that will lead to the actions that make your beliefs come true.

I have learned a lot in my life, but these are three things I have learned recently, and I expect that tomorrow I will learn a lot more.
There are new life lessons to learn for all of us that will allow us to become the best versions of ourselves.

“In this life, when you deny someone an apology, you will remember it at times you beg forgiveness. “

“Short cuts make long delays.”

“No matter how hard you kick, no matter how high you get, you can’t go all the way around.”

“But one of the big lessons I have learned from my journey is you can’t please everyone, so don’t try.”

Word

22

Saying Yes to New Things

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Do this to encourage growth.
Do this to encourage growth.

From the time we are young, those figures in our lives responsible for molding our behavior seem determined to limit us in some way.

Many of the limits were common sense, “don’t play in the traffic,” or “don’t jump your bike off that ten-foot ramp!” These warnings were clearly to keep us safe and maintain our well-being, but many warnings have limited our existence.  These did not have the same intent. We were told not to try one thing or another because of the pain we might suffer if we failed.  We were immediately placed within fear’s boundaries as we created our image of ourselves.

In most cases, these fears were stated to help us avoid emotional or physical harm; ”No, don’t try to be a musician. Only a few can make a living at it.”, “No, you shouldn’t dream about being an actor. Few make it in this field. You should be a lawyer, a doctor, or a teacher.”  These warnings worked to develop our belief systems, and they have been limiting many of us ever since.

The great news is that these beliefs can be changed, which isn’t all that difficult. One of the simplest ways is to start to say yes to everything that we face each day. This affirmative statement will allow a person to look past the lifelong limits we have been living by since being very young.

If you take the time to evaluate many of the limits you believe in, they will be revealed at best as an exaggeration and at worst as an outright lie. We are capable of more than we believe we are; the fear of being hurt by failure stops us most often, and that is nothing to be afraid of. Say yes and try.

Say yes to Failure

Each day there are opportunities for each person to follow and improve, no matter what the current circumstances in life might be. Fear of failure stops many people from accepting the challenge of improving their situation.

The fact is that all people in the history of the world have experienced failure. Those who are ultimately successful recognize these setbacks as learning experiences. Those who are unsuccessful generally give up and shy away from trying again.  Denying failure is not the answer. Say yes to the failures that inevitably come from trying; they will lead you exactly where you need to go.

Say Yes to Something New

It is human nature to experience something we like and to stick with it. Be it food, a leisure activity, political thought, or an opinion about others.  These things become comfortable and to reach beyond them and possibly be exposed to something new is scary because we might not like them.

Yet, if a person never reaches and tries something new, there is no way to grow. If you never grow, the alternative is stagnating and becoming less. Each day, we are becoming more than we were before or less. Say yes to a new experience, and you will surprise yourself with growth!

Say Yes and Accept All Circumstances

Every person experiences difficult times, which are not pleasant to go through, but it is possible to say yes to them. It doesn’t mean that you like them or accept them. It is a simple nod to the obvious; this situation is happening to you now. Putting a negative experience in perspective and accepting that it is happening will allow you to move.

Getting out of our comfort zone sometimes makes no sense but it is the only area that growth resides!!
Getting out of our comfort zone sometimes makes no sense, but it is the only area where growth resides!!

Forward more quickly than ignoring it or not facing it will. If a person honestly looks at their lives, the times of trouble provide the most profound learning and the shortest learning curve. Accept these situations, whatever they may be, as learning moments, learn, and then put them behind you. No matter how dark the night is, the dawn will come, and the new day brings unlimited possibilities. Often we learn what we need to know to “move forward.

Yes is a word that we should all use a lot more daily. Yes! I will try that! Yes! I will overcome failure! Yes, I will learn lessons from hard times! Yes! I will be the best person I can be each day and try to make the world a better place by practicing a more accepting attitude. Yes, I will forgive you!  Say yes to everything and see what magic you can create.

“I’m a great believer that saying yes is a lot more fun than saying no.”–Richard Branson

“Everything in the world began with a yes. One molecule said yes to another molecule, and life was born.”—Clarice Lispector

“Any time an opportunity scares you that much, you should seriously consider saying yes.”–Rob Lowe

“If you must say yes, say it with an open heart. If you must say no, say it without fear.”–Paulo Coelho

22

The Moment for Maturity

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It would seem by this moment in my life, I would have a deeper understanding of what it means to be mature and to develop the skills of that maturity consciously.  I hope someday to be a thoughtful and contributing member of society, but it is a process, and until you become self-aware of where you are, it isn’t easy to see where you need to go. There are choices you make in your day-to-day life, which display your level of maturity or not. The purpose of this little writing is to allow you the opportunity to self-evaluate where you are at, where you want to go and how your current level of maturity is affecting your life in the present moment.  At the end of it all, you are responsible for your choices. The reasons behind the decisions you make will define how you work.

To Teach and be Taught

We often move through life and face situations where we think of the best way to react.  If you see someone going through an awkward situation, maturity will make you want to help someone else weather the storm you once weathered.  There are lessons you learned and the power you developed which have helped you and might help someone else make their way through a difficult time.  Maturity allows you to see the opportunity and understand when a person is open, receptive, and appreciative of the help you can offer and then offer it.

Seeing someone who is in a hole and understanding their predicament is the first step. Choosing to jump into that hole with someone and teach them lessons allows your own experiences in facing challenges to be relevant. It shows good character and personal strength to escape. Whether that person succeeds in moving on will reflect on their growth and integrity.  All you can do is offer the knowledge in a mature, responsible way. Then it is up to each individual if they sit in a hole and feel sorry for themselves or work to move out. Onward and upward.

Self-Evaluation over Criticism

It is effortless to look at the things which don’t work out and nitpick everything you could have done better. If you had known how the ending would be, you would have turned left instead of right. You would never have trusted that person. You would have evaluated things differently with a more critical eye. But that isn’t how life works, and to play, Monday morning quarterback with each decision you have gone wrong on is wasting the opportunity for growth and learning.  Life will keep teaching you the exact lesson until you learn what you need to. A person needs to evaluate each excruciating experience beyond the moment’s emotion.

That is maturity. To be able to sit back after some time passes and see where you went wrong, and what was precisely your fault and what was not. This evaluation will allow you to become a higher functioning human being and learn what you can from this situation.  The hope is you will never have to experience it again and become a wiser soul for the trouble. Life will continually present you with challenges; how you choose to deal with them is up to you. I know that when the pain is raw in the heat of the moment, and you have not recognized or let go of your attachments, it is impossible to have a mature, thoughtful understanding of things. Let’s sit for a bit and simmer and then react in an emotionally sound and mentally well-thought-out way. The hasty reaction will most often lead to more problems.

Truth Is More Important than Feelings

That leads us to the facts. What is the truth in any situation?  Are your reactions grounded in honesty and authenticity, or are they being ruled by emotions? There are no great training courses for dealing with feelings and understanding where they originate.  Each thought we entertain is going to have a passion attached to it.   Emotions cause us to react to find the balance we seek.  To understand why we react. Learning this is vital to becoming a mature person.  Our reactions are often not based on truth but result from some subconscious programming we have taken on from our life experiences.  If something is unconscious, you don’t react to the situation’s truth, but the feelings the situation causes you to feel. Emotions of past painful moments will warn of danger now. That is a pretty complicated way to live. It is nearly impossible to build a positive and healthy relationship with someone else if you aren’t dealing with or understanding the river of emotion flowing through you all the time.  Please take a moment and look at your feelings and ask yourself where they are originating. Understanding the origin of your emotions will help you contribute better to your life and the lives of those around you.  To live through unexplored emotional responses will make you difficult to impossible to live with, and a “real,” quality relationship is unlikely to create and build in your life.  Learn to develop emotional intelligence that can educate you and help you understand all of your emotional responses. The links you save will be your own.

Responsibility the Key

In all things, develop liability for your actions and your inactions. The definition of our lives will come from this one ability. Too often, it is easy to shift the blame onto other people, circumstances, or fate. Doing this takes your ability to control your own life.  Let’s face it, many things in life will happen, and we can’t do anything to stop them. But we can always control our reactions to everything.  Exercising this power starts with a clear focus on who is responsible for your life.  Is it the person who ended a relationship with you?  Or is it you because you were too invested in a person who was not a match for you?  All challenges, even the painful ones, teach lessons.

I hope to develop into a mature, decisive, consistent, and strong individual who contributes to the lives of the people in my life and society. 

“Maturity is that time when the mirrors in our mind turn to windows and instead of seeing the reflection of ourselves, we see others.” unknown.

“Maturity is a high price to pay for growing up.”  Tom Stoppard

“Maturity is the ability to think, speak, and act your feelings within the bounds of dignity. The measure of your maturity is how spiritual you become during the midst of your frustrations.” –  Samuel Ullman.

“Maturity knows when to be immature.”  Randall Hall

 

22

Following The High Road

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What Road Are You Traveling? 

high-roadAll of us are duplicitous by nature. There is the person we allow the world to see, and then there is the one we keep hidden from ourselves. All people live in this duality, and for many, it causes a constant struggle. Two paths are presented to us. One is the high road, and the other is low, based on the moral decisions we make every moment of every day.

The Direction is Clear

Positive moral decisions based on the energy of caring, love, honesty, understanding, etc., are made on the high road. Whereas the negative moral decisions are guided by lying, cheating, intolerance, rigidity, hate, or judgment are found on the low road.

dotherightthingIt has always been peculiar that there is no middle ground. Whether you are traveling the high or the low road, the middle road is like riding on a picket fence; impossible to get there and more challenging to maintain balance.

Sometimes the choices are easy, and doing the right thing is transparent and beneficial to you.  Unfortunately, the low road is far easier and looks like it will be so beneficial that you can’t resist the urge.

“I’ll only do this just this once,” you say, with a froth of good intentions on your mind.  But it’s a funny thing about traveling the low road. Once you get that path, it is harder to get back up than we could have imagined.

The high road may appear complicated, and I wish I could say I always clung Integrity-Is-Doing-The-RIght-Thing-When-No-One-Is-Watching1to it.  I haven’t and have paid the price dearly.  As I get older, though, I strive for the high road more and more in almost everything I do.

I am not perfect, but I strive for it.  You don’t have to be perfect, be honest, treat people well, and not be cruel to others.

Remember, we live an existence of duality, and the struggle is constant between good and evil, right and wrong, the high and the low.   Be vigilant, and you might stick to the high road. No matter what happens, you are guaranteed to have the opportunity to learn something.  Or you can choose to live in ignorance. 

“To every man, there openeth a way, and ways and away. And the high soul climbs the high way, and the low soul gropes the low: And in between, on the misty flats, The rest drift to and fro. But to every man, there openeth a high way and a low, and every man decideth the way his soul shall go.”   ~ John Oxenham

 

 

22

Cycles of Growth and Change

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Life is like a game that brings you a varied experience. From the time we are born,  we move through cycles of change, which allow us to grow and become more mature and eventually become a powerful, positive-thinking human beings in the world. Some play this game on a loop. They get to a certain point and then try to stay in that comfortable place where everything is known, and the challenges are few.  The problem with this is that there will be little growth or purpose in life.

To avoid the pendulum of experience that swings from success to failure to gain and lose is impossible.  Our fear of loss and failure stops us from moving forward and risking all we have for the potential reward of becoming better people. We are too comfortable right where we are, even if we are unhappy or unsatisfied.  All life cycles have value and provide an opportunity to become the best version of ourselves. It would help if you had the courage to keep moving forward, regardless of the losses you might seem to leave behind.

Opportunity for Growth Everywhere

To become our best selves, we have to embrace growth opportunities. This can mean a new job, relationship, or trying something new for the first time. Growth is generally a positive experience that makes us more confident and provides joy in life. It will lead to change, and change brings an initial feeling of discomfort with it. Many people return to uncomfortable and harmful situations to avoid this awkward feeling of growth.  Even good change requires you to say goodbye to things, people, and places you enjoy and are comfortable with.  To grow, you need to dissolve a part of the past. Like a snake shedding its skin to become more mature, you must leave to get something.

Nothing can grow forever, but growth symbolizes life, and when you are reaching the end of the grand cycle of life and growth is no longer possible, it is time to move on.  Learning is the key to growth. All people can learn something new and become better at something in their lives. You always know what you want to learn because it is drawn to you like a magnet. Follow your interests in whatever paths they lead you. Don’t let age or the limiting expectations of others stop you. Modern society wonders that all information is located right at your fingertips. Search, learn, and grow. Develop and maintain a growth mindset throughout life.

Don’t Fear The Down Cycles

There are a time and a purpose for all things that happen. Sometimes it isn’t easy to see the positives in a situation, but we only have our perspective to look at things. We can’t see the landscape around us when we sit in the forest ourselves.  In general terms, down cycles are necessary for spiritual realizations to occur. The power of loss and pain draws a person to look for the meaning behind it all. If we move from success to success and never have time requiring character, we will never want change. Life is too comfortable.

Life never stays comfortable for most people. For some, it takes a significant life shake-up to force change and an investigation of things that are new and wonderful for you.  The hard times are not fun but are needed. People have experienced many deep losses, which have pushed them in new directions of development.  A new career, a new hobby, an activity that brings you peace, or even an appreciation of who you are and what a joy it can be to be a living human living on this great Earth.  All because you experienced a time of challenge in your life.  Be grateful for the challenge because it made you a better person.  Perhaps the version of yourself you were meant to be all along.

Final Analysis

So before you jump out and label one thing bad and another good, remember that the event is only the catalyst. The streams of reaction results also need to be analyzed. Often you never see your shortcomings until life points them out to you.  How can you improve something when you have no idea it exists?  It is that way when you look at failure and success. Often we get so wrapped up in perceptions we don’t understand what opportunity life has given us.  “Failure lies concealed in every success and success in every failure.”

Look for the lesson, not the perceived result, and seek ways to improve yourself.

“The perfect orchestration of the symphony of life is one of the Creator’s greatest and most beautiful miracles.” ― Suzy Kassem

“ Dharma or Ethics and Morals are the Fundamental Set of Rules created for those who want to play the Game, by those who are Inside the Game.” ― Vineet Raj Kapoor