22

Free, Available, Unoccupied

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Space-a continuous area or expanse that is free, available, or unoccupied.

One of the words that can be difficult to understand and find in our lives is personal space. This area is defined as the area in which someone has room to grow and develop their skills and ideas and understand the talents they possess and the things they know.

It is essential to find our personal space and allow for those we care about to have theirs. However, people often seem to behave like steamrollers, plowing through other people’s boundaries and exact needs to reassure themselves. Become aware of the space you need and the space you can provide for others today in your thoughts, words, and actions.

Space for Others

When you look at the people you care about, it is crucial to notice how much space they need. Not everyone is the same. Some people need a consistent dose of space, while others are in more need of the company to make it through the day. One of the most effective ways to know how much space someone needs is to ask. It is one of the things people don’t talk about. If you are in a relationship, people are afraid that there is something wrong if they don’t want to be together. The need for solitude is innate in people and allows for growth. The deeper a person is, the more consciousness they usually want to develop and the more time they need themselves.

Value the time you are invited into that space and understand that all people need to seek growth. Don’t take the request for time alone as a personal insult or a sign of trouble in a relationship. It is only selfishness that strives to take space away from someone else. If you care about them, let them grow in the ways they need to succeed. Fish have to swim, birds have to fly, and people need to be who they are. Give them space.

Space for You

That leads to finding space for yourself. We live in a society where being alone is difficult and even undesirable. There is a constant noise in the background, and this television or radio noise keeps our minds occupied and makes us seem less alone. But the actual crime in this is that you never get a chance to think for yourself and contemplate anything real. You need to look at your experience and decide what you like and would like to improve. Thoughts can be a complex and challenging thing. Often they cry for change, and change is difficult.

Find your space to read, think, and grow. To be your best and develop and grow into what you can be. Don’t be afraid of the area; seek it. Don’t hide from it; create it. In the spaces of our lives, we find the answers to the questions we ask. Find your answers in whatever area you like. It can be found in meditation, nature, or even just a moment doing a hobby that you enjoy. Whatever space you want, find it.

Space The Final Frontier

Star Trek always used this saying at the beginning of the show, and it is valid for personal space and the space in the universe. All that can be created and accomplished is waiting for you in the areas of life. Look at your life and seek the rooms containing your creations and possibilities. This will arise from your awareness of space and your need for it, and your consciousness will develop through every thought, word, and action around seeking and using your area. Searching the universe or your individuality is all the same. New worlds are going to be discovered.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Viktor E. Frankl

“Our space is a playground for growth. Revel in it.”

 

 

22

Find Your Freedom

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Freedom- the power or the right to act, speak or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

One factor that influences the enjoyment that a person has in their life is the amount of freedom they experience every day.  The focus of this word is to encourage people to raise their level of consciousness; each of us has space all around us or the lack thereof.  How much power does a person have to act, speak, or think as one wants?  Be conscious of your thoughts, words, and actions and take a brief moment to analyze why you do the things you do, say the things you speak, and think about what you believe. Are we as free as we think? Or, more importantly, are our freedoms limited by what other people think?  Look at the messages the institutions of the world are publishing and question their validity. Be yourself, not the puppet of an idea or philosophy.  Remain free.

Freedom of Thought

We are free to think whatever we want when it comes to thought. However, there are influences on our thinking all of the time. People need to be vigilant to ensure that they do not believe what someone else wants them to believe. We are bombarded with messages about what is “right.”

Silhouette of a child jumping cliff with sunset background

thought from the time we enter the world and throughout our development. Parents, relatives, teachers, friends, popular television, marketers, and media invest time training your mind to think as they would like you to.  If you are not careful, there is no room for unique thoughts because you are too busy doing what others tell you.

Please put all of that aside and look at your thoughts and where they came from. Are they something that you feel, or are they something somebody else wishes you to think?  Prejudice, hate, and intolerance are often thoughts taught to us by others. You have the freedom to dislike anyone you want. You also have the freedom to care about all people as you should. Your choice is the love, acceptance, and kindness you show toward others. There is no more critical freedom than this. You have the freedom to stay away from stereotypes and the fear-based mentality that will take away your liberties.  Love makes you accessible. Fear limits you. Your freedom is to choose thoughts in either direction and live with the consequences.

Freedom of Action

Are we free to act any way we want? In some ways we are, in the United States today, people can dress however they like, go where they want, and do the things they want to do. This surface freedom of acting any way you wish to has limits.  You can’t break the laws or norms of society, or you will be punished. These laws are working to keep us safe, but too many regulations limit the amount of freedom a person has.  Simple things like seat belt laws work to take away a person’s choice.  Even though I believe it is safer to wear a seatbelt than not. It should still be my choice.  Taking away options from people is a limit on freedom.

Look at your life and how society is trying to limit your freedom. Through awareness, you will notice your rights to freedom being eroded. Look at the limits placed on your actions and the limit of choice society wants to provide.  It is in these things that your liberation exists. Who knows better how to keep you safe and provide you with a life you enjoy, you or the government?  You or the Church?  You or any other organization?  How you choose to act and use your freedom is vital to the enjoyment you get out of life.  Be conscious of the releases of action that you experience every day.

What Does Freedom Mean to YOU??

Freedom can be a terrifying proposition. Along with freedom of thought, choice, and action comes responsibility.  This is the tricky part because you are responsible for your actions.  It can be much easier to follow a protocol and do what you are told in a job. There is no responsibility in this chain of command, and there is no original thought or creativity.  Some people only want to live in a gilded cage of illusionary freedom. That is fine for them but not for everybody. The enclosure protects you from your fears and makes you believe all is well.

If you don’t want to be limited by the system or find out what you are capable of, you have to leave the cage and face your fears. In facing your fear, the light of truth will reveal them for what they are,  just thoughts. Once the fear of freedom is conquered, there is no telling where you can go and what you can do.  The only person limiting you then is you.

What is Real Freedom?

When we are born, we are free.  As we develop through society’s teaching, our freedom is stripped away.  We learn to sit in rows, be quiet, follow directions, never question authority, and find the “right” answers to all things.  But deep inside of us all is the desire to be free. To make your line, sit out of order, question all things, and do things your way.  Innovation happens this way, and inventions occur this way. Life is changed this way.

So be conscious today of your freedom and where you can exercise it. It exists everywhere, in the world, or just in your mind.  Be aware of your thoughts, words, and actions, understand why you do what you do, and accept what you accept from others.  For every person seeking freedom of expression, there seems to be someone else seeking to repress it.

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” ~

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them, they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ― Stephen King

 

 

22

Be A Proactive Person

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Proactive Choices Change Everything

Being a human being is a complicated and sometimes painful journey. A person is continuously challenged with new situations, asked to take in further information, and learns to deal with new people in their lives all the time. Still, we have one great choice to make in all of this, which allows us to be in control of ourselves, even when events occur which are out of our control. This power is the choice to be proactive. It means more than just taking the initiative in any situation; instead, you accept responsibility for wherever you are in life and whatever you are experiencing.

What is the Responsibility?

When you look at the word responsibility and break it up, you will see what it means: Response- Ability or your ability to respond. Each of us is continually responding to the situations we experience, and it is the manner we respond that dictates who we are. We are all responsible for our choices in this matter. If you are at the mercy of your emotions and react in anger, you own the results of that situation. If you practice avoidance and hide in drugs or alcohol consumption, you own the results of that action. This ownership comes whether you want it or not.

If you choose to be proactive, you accept responsibility for all aspects of your life and the circumstances you are experiencing. As recent events in the world have shown, some things occur outside of our control. Still, our reaction to it, the way we act toward others and choose to feel about ourselves, is that we are self-aware enough to recognize the tools we have at our disposal to be great. It is a conscious choice to live based on your values rather than on what events your life faces. As in all things, there is another choice,  to be reactive.

Being Reactive

When you choose to empower things around you, people, events, occurrences, conditions, or pandemics to affect and control you. If times are comfortable, a reactive person will be in a good mood. If they face difficulty or a challenge, that is all it takes to feel bad and act worse. I read a great thought that reactive people will be significantly affected by the weather, whereas proactive people carry their weather with them. It doesn’t make a difference if it is raining or the sun is shining, they are value-driven, and those values, kindness, charity, understanding, and caring are not put off by a little cloudy weather.

All people are affected by external stimuli, weather, forced social distancing, or pandemics, but the choice of response is different for each. If one thing is taken away, you can focus on that or start to find ways to enjoy your life anyway. Any external event can’t hurt our essential character unless we allow it. Economic hardships are challenging to navigate in life because they are fraught with worry. Being reactive is to feel sorry for yourself and blame everyone else. The bold choice is to do whatever you can do to survive and look for better ways to protect yourself in the future.

Take Initiative

This simple act of taking the initiative is a driving force in determining who is ultimately successful and who is not. People often do not recognize their responsibility to make things happen in their lives. Setting intentions to be something or do something is a great start, but nothing will happen without action.   We all have a reservoir of resourcefulness and initiative to pull from in our lives. As each of us examines our lives, we recognize situations where we have been resourceful to solve problems and make things happen, which were excellent.

Also, there have been moments in each person’s life where they had to take the initiative to get a better job, have a great relationship, take advantage of an opportunity, or any other positive thing a person has created. If you don’t think any of those things have ever happened to you, you are not looking closely enough. All human beings are capable of taking the initiative.

Final Thought

Be proactive today in how you react. If the national news media is bringing you down, take the initiative to shut it off and do something productive. Nothing can stop you from doing that but you. If you have free time to spend with your children, then finish it willingly and realize these circumstances will probably not happen again in the width of their childhood. How they look back on this situation in 10-20 years will be determined by the choices they make and the attitude they display.

It is a fact that difficult times will come to us all, and our response to that situation will define who we are to the world. You can’t speak of kindness and caring about your fellow man on one hand and then attempt to hoard a ten-year supply of toilet paper on the other. As I said, these decisions will define you.

“Do what today others won’t, so tomorrow, you can do what others can’t.” Brian Rogers Loop

 

“The only way to end a culture of violence is to proactively create a peace culture.”–Marianne Williamson

“Think proactively and dynamically. Be realistic, but set your sights high.” Lorii Myers

“We must take proactive steps to promote democracy and human rights abroad.”–Sam Brownback

 

“Learn from yesterday, live for today. Hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.”–Albert Einstein

 

22

I Get Knocked Down

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In all stages of my life, I have had the experience of life presenting me with situations that have broken me apart, like the shattering of a mirror, which reflected the life I was living and enjoying. Then I would look at the unrecognizable shards of that existence and wonder how I could put that back together into something enjoyable, valuable, worthwhile, or just plain old good? This question has come up all too often, and I imagine that I am not in the minority. All of us move through challenges caused by other callous actions or vacuous behaviors. Or worse, we are the victim of situations entirely of our own. A thoughtless action, selfishness, petty thought, or something we let our emotions push us toward.

Either way, the lives we knew are destroyed and left unrecognizable. Our chore is to try to piece something resembling value together from the ashes of the giant dumpster fire that is your current situation. The good news is. Thousands of people do this every day and rise again and live a happy and successful life even though they were crushed and broken by a challenging experience. If one person can do it, so can you. Let’s piece our lives back together again.

Proactive, not Reactive

I am never more sorry for someone than when they have found someone or something that makes them happy. Why? You ask. Once you let something outside of you make you happy, it can be taken away, bringing the opposite response to your life. The difference between allowing something to be as it is and allowing it to destroy your feelings and life is a tiny one. Allowing someone or something to control your happiness will make you accountable to that person or thing. Don’t rely on anyone else for your enjoyment or anything to bring your life more joyful. These things are best found on our terms and manifested in our minds and hearts.

That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy times with others, but the minute you allow a person to be the momentum of happiness in your life, you are at their mercy. If they are immature, unstable, uncaring, mean, or all of the above, you have allowed their inner depravity to control your level of happiness. You will live a reactionary life instead of being proactive in creating your measure of happiness. Proactively seek things outside of a relationship that makes you happy or understand your self-worth by yourself. You can start doing this today in any way to let your actions lead to the experiences you desire in life. Don’t let your thoughts, behaviors, and feelings be dictated by someone or something else.

Living In the Moment

It can be challenging to focus on being mindful when life falls apart. Finding the balance between experiencing emotions about events and people who are no longer in your life and sharing the things fully in your day is tricky. Throw in the seemingly natural anxiety about the future and what might happen, and putting our lives back together is a challenge. But I think to rebuild a meaningful experience, it takes the ability to let yourself live in and enjoy the moment.

Each moment is a chance to establish a life you want. When your pieces are shattered into nothing, there is an excellent opportunity to rebuild yourself back into any form you desire. You can remove the toxic people from your life, leave an unfulfilling job, and create something from your soul. Don’t focus on the past, and try to recreate something gone. And try not to worry about what you will be in the future. Focus your thoughts and energy on what you want that person to be today as you take each broken piece of yourself and put it back together. The person you are constructing will be the best version of yourself today. After all, it is only at this very moment we can live; everything else is just an illusion of thought.

Be A Good Builder

Take advantage of the opportunity presented to you to make changes in yourself you have always wanted to create. If you’re going to look different, train differently, and grow in a new way, what better time to start than when all of your life has been shattered. There is an excellent opportunity for you to put those pieces back together in a way you find more appealing. Is there a dream you have always wanted to chase? A new path you want to follow? Just new things to do? Doing them now when your life is shattered may be the time. What do you have to lose? You can’t be any more destroyed than you already are. Your past choices have led you to this moment, and perhaps a new direction in thought and action is just what you need.

You are the architect and the builder of your life experience. You allow other people and circumstances to motivate you and move you, but your life will be a direct and complete reflection of you. Blaming others and events outside of yourself may make you feel better, but you made the choices, and you pay the cost. So make choices you want to represent you personally, in your relationships, finances, and every other aspect of life you can imagine. Be the best and most creative carpenter in your life today. With all of your pieces lying at your feet, put them back together in the manner you dream of, and your life will become the one you desire of. You are in control of how you are represented in life. Build it all well.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” —James Altucher

“Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.” —Mireille Guiliano

“I feel like I have a job to do like I constantly have to reinvent myself. The more I up the ante for myself, the better it is in the long run.” —Kevin Hart

“We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options.” —David Suzuki

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” —George Bernard Shaw

 

 

22

Quiet Spaces for Rejuvenation

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As a younger person,  I often got impatient with what life brought. Hurry up! Let us get to the next stage already. Being impatient is one of the weaknesses and follies of youth. There are patterns in life, and each has its purpose. As a young person, I didn’t look for them. Life presents many challenging circumstances, thrills, accomplishments, and disappointments. Breathing space is defined as a temporary interval of quiet or lack of activity, a time when life gives you a space to look around and take a breath or two. There is a lull period after any big moment, positive or negative,  where a person needs a chance to gather themselves before moving toward the next goal, adventure, or challenge. It is a natural time to reflect, evaluate, and adjust to your life. Learn to value the lulls.

Lack of Action time

Unfortunately, the period of breathing space is not appreciated or valued particularly highly in our society, and it is looked at as wasted time or an unwanted time of emptiness. We work to fill all of our moments with something. Games, TV, movies, or music in the background all engage our minds and stop us from thinking. We are afraid of the quiet because of what we might learn, feel, or remember. These things might lead to change, but they will also lead to a greater appreciation for the lesson you just learned and how to apply it to the life you have in front of you.

Reflection is one of the most valuable things that I have taken from the space designed to catch your breath in my life. One of the best times happened when I had a chance to relax and reflect on what I had just experienced. Whenever there is an ending, take time to reflect on the experience. It may be only for a moment, or it may be longer, but we should use the time to evaluate the situation you have just gone through and process it appropriately. Recognize when you were wrong and just as important when you were wronged by someone else. Learn from what happened and realize the hard lessons a seemingly friendly person with poor intentions can cause.

How to Process

Processing the past can be difficult. It is always hard to get through the painful feelings to see the value of the experience. However, until this point, each occasion I have had has presented me with a value of some sort. Not all experiences are pleasant and warm, but that is not what life promises. Everything we see, hear, and do is design to allow us to learn something. If the same thing keeps coming to us, then there is something that we haven’t learned and need to face again. Like a student needs to pass Algebra 1  before moving on to more complex math. We need to retain specific life lessons before we move on to something else.

So take a moment and list the positive and negative things you have faced in this particular experience. What is the value? Sometimes the value isn’t known until you get down the line a bit from what just happened. Connecting the dots is easy to do. Looking back, those dots reveal the value of a situation. Even the most challenging circumstances teach you lessons. Probably precious ones. Process all things and learn what you can, and take it forward.

Cherish Quiet Moments

Reflection is a time that I have learned to cherish. To look at even bad situations that are not enjoyable to find the lesson. It has always been there, and if you don’t learn it now, it may just come up again later. Before long, you will be on to the next adventure of life, and there won’t be time to look back appropriately and find the value. When the lulls present themselves to you, take advantage and enjoy the moment. Seek the motive, understand

There is a lesson to learn about relationships, jobs, trips, the climb, the project, the graduation, the birth, the death …………  There are the answers you are seeking in a moment of quiet. They are waiting in the ripples of a lake, underneath the rocks of a river, or in the quiet moment. Take time and look for them. They provide beauty to all of life most people miss because they are too busy avoiding thought to look inside the lull and understand the message that is living there.

Life is full of patterns, of “highs” and “lows” that are only different moments of mental intensity that allow for learning or understanding. Many live their lives with questions and never take the time to seek the answers. Experience makes a deal with us that there is always a reason behind it. In reflection and contemplation, we will find it if you can recognize the lull and appreciate the silence and thought that it provides.

“Solitude is very different from a ‘time-out’ from our busy lives. Solitude is the very ground from which community grows. Whenever we pray alone, study, read, write, or simply spend quiet time away from the places where we interact with each other directly, we are potentially opened for a deeper intimacy with each other.” -Henri Nouwen

“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly, and honestly – spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.”- Susan L. Taylor

“It’s important to have quiet time and isolation.”- John Burnside

 

22

Looking Inside

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There exist many different ideas of who we are inside. Identity seems to change as people move from one social situation to another. But the person we should be looking for inside us is our higher or best self. To achieve our best is the version of you that resonates inside yourself with joy and love. There is no fear in this inner upbeat version of you. This best version has the potential to exist in all of us and can be accessed following some simple steps. A quick change of focus and consciousness will point you in the right direction.

Know Where You Are

The first thing we have to do is acknowledge where we are right now on our journey. Honestly and completely. Are you working a job that fulfills you? Is there room for growth? Are you doing what brings you joy? Are there things in your life you have to change? Or need to change for your health’s sake? Acknowledge it all and bring it into the front of your thoughts and awareness. Too often, let things slide and ignore the habits and situations we put ourselves in daily, which do not resonate with us. See what you want to change, and then be still and envision what the perfect job will look like for you. Knowing where you are will make your destination a lot easier to find.

Be Kind to You

How we treat ourselves and speak to ourselves will determine how easy it is to connect to our best selves. It is easy to say that loving yourself is the first step. You are sending compassion and love to yourself rather than focusing on blame or shame in any situation. Things done in the past are in the past, and you can’t change them. Rather than beat yourself up for it, tell yourself that you did the best you could. Know that you will react more positively when faced with the same circumstance. Love yourself at this moment and let your best self rise to the surface.

Notice Your Thoughts

Not only the thoughts about yourself but your thoughts about everything. See your thought patterns and honestly evaluate the negativity and positivity of each thread of thought that exists. Your thoughts will control your emotions and, ultimately, your behavior, so it is vital to be conscious of the pattern of thinking. Beliefs that have been ingrained in you since you were young influence specific patterns of thought and can be harmful without conscious recognition. See your ideas for what they are when it comes to your perspectives and beliefs, and that will provide an opportunity to transform them into something that will represent the best parts of you.

How to Speak to Yourself

When you talk to yourself in your mind, speak as if you were talking to a best friend or a valued, loved one. The way you talk to and feel about yourself sets the tone for how you view yourself in the world. There were times when I was not so lovely to my reflection in the mirror—cutting down my physical appearance—avoiding the right parts, and focusing on the things about my body that I didn’t like. Now I hope to be a little more compassionate to myself. We should all speak to ourselves with compassion. Your best self will rise from this and become apparent.

Do things that connect with you and make you feel good about your life and who you are. It could be exercise, art, or writing. When you are your best, accept who you are, what you are doing, and where you are going. Your best self will rise and enter your life.

There is only one corner of the universe you can be sure of improving, and that’s your self.– Aldous Huxley

Work on yourself more than you do on your job.– Jim Rohn

The goal is not to be better than the other man but your previous self.  – The Dalai Lama

 

22

Stop Being So Hard on Yourself

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The conversation occurs subtly behind the actions of

self-talk-head-1the day. It is one conversation that we should have a massive interest in, but we rarely take the time to analyze the tone or tenor of which our inner voice is speaking. This discussion is called self-talk, an ongoing dialogue inside your head that contributes commentary on the happenings of your experience.

Too often, people accept the exchange without inquiry, and it is often decidedly dripping with negativity. This negative spin will tend to cause one to be tough on themselves and give harsh criticism to their lives. Often crushing our confidence and self-esteem. All is not lost. Once a person becomes aware of this talk, they can make a conscious effort to change their inner dialogue and build a more positive inner world. If you can make this adjustment, it will change the way you look at yourself and how others look at you. It is one of the most critical skills a person can learn.

Why So Negative and Hard on Yourself?

In the development of life, there is programming Negative-self-talkthat takes place. All people learn beliefs or programming through the early experience of their lives. Interactions with parents, siblings, relatives, friends, teachers, and the media, combine to let us know the rules of this game called life. Most of the messages we learn through pain, we learn to want to avoid pain and seek pleasure. The talk in your head is generally geared toward preventing evil, painful things, but things go haywire. We ignore most of the positives in life, ignoring many positive things. People choose to focus on the negative.

The programming we experienced occurred when we were between 5-10 years old and has become obsolete, outdated, or just plain untrue. When you start to notice this voice and see how negative it is, you can then choose to change your programming and not allow negative, stubborn, or defeatist thoughts to rule your mind. You have the power to create change, and it starts with a personal awareness of your thoughts. You will undoubtedly be if you believe you are incapable of doing something. It is self-defeating, and most aren’t even aware it is happening.

Be Kind to You, Change the Self Talk

Self-Talk-2As you look at the conversation and hear the comments your mind is producing, ask yourself with each one, “Is this true?”, “Is this kind?” “Is this necessary?”  If the comments are not all of these, you should probably pay no mind to them.

How you treat yourself will be relevant to the experience you have in life. If a person will not treat themselves with respect, encouragement, and understanding, then who will?

Take a moment today and listen to re are your self-talk and decide if the conversation needs to change. All change talkpeople are capable of quick and dramatic change in this area only by choosing to treat themselves better. Let the negative thoughts and opinions slide by and introduce more positive thought patterns into your mind. Or to just let the voice be silent.

If you are not going to treat yourself in a caring and loving manner, why would anyone else?

Change from I can’t to I CAN

Change from No to Yes

Change from I have Doubts to I have no Doubts.

Change from Impossible to Possible

Change from I’m Unable to I Am Able

Stop expecting the worst and Demand the Best!

There is a positive opposite waiting to be noticed and used for every negative, self-defeating phrase you have ever spoken. You are capable at any time of making these changes.

Mindfulness and being aware of what is happening right now, at this moment, can force the voice in your head to be quiet because your awareness is focused on so much happening now there is no room for a talk. Focus your attention on what you see right now, what you hear, or the things you feel, taste, or smell. Each of these inputs brings you.

The Benefits of Positive Self-Talk

Choosing to be more confident in the way you speak to yourself in your mind will provide many positive benefits. First, of course, your confidence will increase because you are not listening to the adverse judgment in your mind. Secondly, you will enjoy life more because when you eliminate the constant negative self-talk, you have room for more positive thoughts, ideas, and creations. Third, you will find you are just happier in your life. Positive reviews bring with them a higher vibration, which feels right. These thoughts multiply, and soon you are feeling great all the time.

Understanding that we are not perfect, there are things we still need to learn. Falling short at something and recognizing our faults allows us to reevaluate and try again with better information. Positive self-talk will enable us to enhance our success in all our efforts. It lets you become your highest, most positive supporter. Staying optimistic about your ability to develop will move you through problems you face in life. The ability to practice positive self-talk will allow you to stick to a process of accomplishing a goal rather than just quit at the first sign of initial failure. You will build an immunity to the negative messages your mind creates to save you. Positive self-talk will give you the power to accomplish many vital goals you make. If we don’t learn to support, like, and be kind to ourselves, we can’t expect those things to be generated by others. We are 100% in control of our actions and not in control of anyone else. Why put our confidence, happiness, and ultimate success in the opinions of others.

There is nothing wrong with liking who you are and appreciating the skills you possess. To me, this is just common sense. You can be a massive fan of yourself and enjoy your life without being arrogant or condescending. Nobody is perfect, but everybody is perfectly able to be the best version of themselves. In accepting our talents and skills, we are then more able to recognize and appreciate the things other people can do and understand they are valuable. Listening to negative self-talk,  our mind often sees the accomplishments and skills of others as threats, and they are not. There is room for everyone to shine. Positive self-talk allows you to appreciate this in everyone.

Controlling the negative self-talk starts with an awareness of the voice and precisely what it is saying to you. This voice is not who you are, and you are the listener, the observer of the vote, through meditation and learning how to be in the present moment by observing our breath or repeating a mantra. You are capable of flipping the script in your mind from negative to positive any time you choose.

“Be mindful of your self-talk. It’s a conversation with the universe.”- David James

“Be very careful what you say to yourself because someone very important is listening . . . YOU!”–John Assaraf

“Relentless, repetitive self-talk is what changes our self-image.”-  Denis Waitley

“Evidence is conclusive that your self-talk has a direct bearing on your performance.”  –  Zig Ziglar


	

	
	




	
	

				

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Every Day Has Purpose

		

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Everything and everyone were created for a purpose. 


Seeking purpose in life is the journey we are all on. Some look for it in money, others in a family, others in religion, but the only place you will find your purpose is inside yourself. It can be challenging to believe that you are all here for a purpose when you are experiencing the ups and downs of life, especially when it seems just survival and feeling “normal” is a challenge from day to day.


People can easily believe that the things in nature were created for a purpose; the seasons continually happen in perfect order. The sun rises and sets with clockwork precision. Ecosystems function with symbiotic excellence creating vital life cycles that benefit the area and the world in creating beauty and growth. Delicate balances are made just as they should be. It is much more challenging to see ourselves as one of these perfect creations. But we are. We were all created with a purpose, but unlike most other players in the game of life, we have a choice that allows us to move closer to our goal or move further away. What choices are you making today? What choices have you made in the past six months? Have they helped or hindered your growth and reaching your purpose?


Battle of Choice


I believe that when we are young, we are very close to our purpose. As life’s experiences pour over us, and we try to rationalize where we fit and accept the beliefs we are taught, we lose sight of what our purpose is.   What makes you feel a connection to the world and life itself? What is it that you lose yourself when you participate in it? As we entertain more and more choices between good and evil, pleasure and pain, instant satisfaction or delayed gratification, our life patterns form. Either they are taking you closer to your purpose or further away.


If you are moving no closer to your purpose, you will experience some emptiness inside. You may have collected many material things, large sums of money, or whatever looks like a success on the outside. But inside, there will always be a yearning to find your purpose or what makes you come “alive.” A choice is a funny thing, we make a million of them every day, but when we are far from what we are, subconsciously, we create options taking us back toward doing the things that constitute our purpose. Having a choice and free will means you can do anything, including making bad decisions. Become more conscious of your intention, and if you don’t, take steps to get there.


Know Your Purpose


To know your purpose in life can be like reading a good mystery novel. You try to guess what happened, and then it is revealed as you get toward the end of the story. Seeking your purpose will take a lot of trial and error and a bit of fearlessness. A lucky few people have known and remembered their senses all their life. But most choose to follow a path determined by others, parents, family, or society. As they do what they think they should do, they move further from who they are. It is never too late to move back toward your purpose.


I wish I could say exactly what your purpose was and where you can find it, but all of us are different, and so is our purpose. That journey is as individual as each of us is. One of the best methods to find yours is to create. Creativity provides us with the power to connect with our souls. Whatever you are making will tell you which way to go. If you paint, paint! If you write, write! If you carve things out of wood blocks, cut things out of blocks of wood! Creating something that didn’t exist before you had the thought and took action to make it is powerful. It will lead you to the doorway of who you are. If you feel you are not creative, evaluate your efforts. Something in your life is done with a unique thought pattern and activities which belong to you and resonate with your soul. You will know it when you lose track of time when doing it.




 


Seeking a Fit


Consciously or subconsciously, we are all looking for the puzzle piece we are in the world and where we fit in perfectly. Where do we belong, and what is our purpose? Some get so far away from it that they feel empty, and that is where we try to fill that emptiness with drugs, alcohol, food, material possessions, or some other thing that we hope will allow us to feel whole. But the only thing that will do that is to keep looking for what we are meant for until we find it.


All of us have a purpose inside of us, and finding that will allow us to experience more happiness in life if we can live it. If things are chaotic and seemingly moving out of control in your life, you are probably not following your purpose. If you are pursuing your goal, things flow, work in harmony, and fill the fulfillment of doing what you were meant to do. Never stop looking for your purpose or following it when you find it. Trying to become the best version of yourself and be happy in the world will involve recognizing your drive and taking steps to practice it to the best of your ability.


Understand that you the only one that can do what you were put here to do what you are meant to do. Like the sun is one of a kind and each star in the sky are different and original, so are you. Find your purpose and bring your light into the world. 


“Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction.”- John F. Kennedy


“Everyone has a purpose in life and a unique talent to give others. And when we blend this unique talent with service to others, we experience the ecstasy and exultation of own spirit, which is the ultimate goal of all goals.” -Kallam Anji Reddy


“Achievement of your happiness is the only moral purpose of your life, and that happiness, not pain or mindless self-indulgence, is the proof of your moral integrity since it is the proof and the result of your loyalty to the achievement of your values.” -Ayn Rand


Whenever I hear this song, I think of people finding their purpose. Ain’t it Beautiful??




 

	

	
	




	
	

				

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We Stand The Same

		

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It is not unusual for someone to create a judgment of someone based on what you see on the outside. It is in our instinct to categorize people and organize them into easy-to-digest pieces where we can make assumptions about their background, financial situation, and motives. Is someone a threat? Are they someone it would be valuable to make an ally? These thoughts rush through your mind, and they are expensive in the short term to attempt to control your life. But life is not controllable, and judging people in this manner causes you to be short-sighted, closed-minded, and, most importantly, judgemental of others.


The problem of judgment is that we tend to accept our initial thoughts about someone as reality when, in fact, they are based only on our views with no factual basis whatsoever. This scenario creates a line of separation between us and others, which can be dangerous. In the least, it can be cruel to someone, and its worst forms can lead to dehumanizing other people, leading to hate, mistrust, prejudice, discrimination, and all sorts of negatives. A more comprehensive view is my challenge to you. Look at all people you meet from this moment forward on the inside. Because on the inside, you will see much more of what you have in common than what separates you. Look on the inside.


Alone Time


We all have a fundamental need to be a part of things and be understood for the person we are, the thoughts we think, and the feelings that result. Some people are more independent than others and enjoy more alone time. I like to have time to myself, but I also need time with other people. To some degree, we are all the same. Through our interactions with others, we find experiences of growth and development. I value the perspective of people who are different from me. Each time you meet a new person and have a conversation, you will grow slightly. And growth is the point of this existence.


Sometimes, it seems easier to put up walls and isolate yourself from others. They can be challenging, and understanding others can take some effort. Once you build walls to keep yourself safe from others, it is difficult for anyone to get in. So you are quite literally sitting by yourself, and that is where loneliness and isolation can influence you. Being lonely is dangerous because it skews your vision of the world and yourself. You feel something is lacking within yourself and your life, which is human interaction. Through this, we know we are not alone in this process, and we can take another perspective on things. Weigh that vision and make the parts of it that resonate with us. There is a feeling we all have inside of belonging and being accepted. It takes others for this to happen. We are all feeling lonely and separated in our lives sometimes. Be kind where you can and help someone else contact a little less alone. It takes very little to let someone know you see them and their humanity. Find a situation where you can do this today.


Our Thoughts


On the inside of every person, I see two rivers continuously running. One is of thought, and the other is our emotions. They are connected and continually flowing throughout our lives. Our mind is a tool that helps us navigate problems and create things, and that river of thought will help you. Even though many of the ideas flowing by us are repeated or unnecessary, the amount of attention we give them provides them with any power. Placing your focus on the wrong thing will affect how relevant it is in your life. As human beings, we all function the same way. Our thoughts are created in our minds and our experience and programming. It is up to us to be open-minded to seek new experiences and people to bring new ideas into our river of thought.


A mind is a great thing to have because appropriately used. It can help you master your life and existence and bring happiness and joy to the lives of others. Your mind can bring suffering and despair to you and all those you encounter during the day. The direction of your influence comes from conscious decisions we make about the thoughts we pay attention to in life. We all have the same choices here. Focus on the ideas of love or focus on the ideas of fear. This choice dictates everything we experience in personal relationships, friendships, and every aspect of life. Do you dare to reach out? Or do you pull back in fear of rejection or looking foolish? We are all the same inside, and there is a river of thought flowing through all people. Some have a deeper stream than others, and all we can do is test the waters and see if we can positively expand our minds or not.


Emotions


The other river is one of the emotions tied directly to our thoughts. They go hand in hand. The views we choose to focus on will dictate the feelings we experience. It seems to be a cause-and-effect relationship we have been experiencing since birth and will until we leave this life. The difference is that you can become more conscious about this relationship and change the thoughts we choose to focus on and their corresponding emotions.


It is essential to know this because you are not unique in your emotional functions. All people are working on the inside in the same way. The differences come from our programming and experiences. One experience can change our lives for the better or present an emotional challenge. How we choose to deal with them will dictate our happiness at the moment and our effectiveness in life.


It is essential to realize how understanding our emotions and thoughts can lead to a more productive life. We have made connections through our experiences and joy, sadness, anger, frustration, longing, love, or any other emotion. Our thoughts can take a situation that is just a little bit similar to something from our past and interject positivity or despair into it based on programming. Understanding this emotional connection, we can evaluate what we are feeling and why. Are you angry at what just happened, or is it connected to something from your past? The difference is immense. Why get all upset and angry over something which occurred 20 years ago? That event is long gone and can’t be changed. It is up to you if you let the experience control your life today. When you look at someone else and their emotions, understand they are just like you on the inside and have some compassion and empathy.


Compassion and Empathy


Since we are all the same on the inside, we all have thoughts and emotions running nonstop for all of our lives. Take a little time, and work it into your life. Look at other people through the lens of connectivity rather than the view of separation. Allowing yourself to step inside of the shoes of another and see their thoughts and feel their emotions can give you an insight into life. The value of this is to adopt a philosophy of compassion for the struggles and difficulties faced by other people and make your little corner of the world a little bit brighter. Show some kindness even when you don’t have to. Compassion is the international language of caring, and it is never a lousy time for it. Judge others less and accept their differences more because, on the inside, they are just like you. A human being deals with their two continuous rivers of thought and emotion.


Empathy is the ability to understand the situation another is experiencing, and I think to be accepting of their circumstances. All people are capable of great kindness and caring but can also be just as mean and uncaring. We can make the conscious choice of being empathetic or judgmental, and that decision will dictate our effect on the world and what kind of person we will be. Consciously practicing empathy allows you to put a small positive influence on the planet and those you encounter each time. There is no telling where this little positive flow you create will affect the world.


Each of us is in this experience of life and looking for meaning. Sometimes it is easy and others more complex. There are nonstop moments, and each has value. What precisely that value is will be determined by our ability to look at others and see that everyone is the same basic stuff inside. Experiences and programming have led to how a person thinks and feels about things. In all things, we have much more in common than the differences we could ever carry. Take time today to look at all people with empathy and compassion. Practice kindness and understanding, and see how your rivers of thought and emotion are affected.


“Whatever is my right as a man is also the right of another.” – Thomas Paine


“I believe in equality for everyone.” – Mahatma Gandhi


“When I look at a person, I see a person – not a rank, not a class, not a title.” – Criss Jami


“Don’t let your luggage define your travels, and each life unravels differently.” – Shane Koyczan


“You can’t make a difference unless you are different.” – Chris Hodges




 


 


 

	

	
	




	
	

				

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The Moments That Matter

		

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Your perspective on life will determine your success, and that is the way of it, whether you like it or not. How you look at the experiences you have will choose your thoughts on life, the people in your life, the places you go, and ultimately which goals are achievable and which are not. Even the most talented and motivated people will not be at their best every day, and if you are not functioning at your highest capacity, are you contributing in every moment? Does every minute of your life matter to the results of your experiences and accomplishments?


My philosophy is that every minute in your life matters, and those who take the time to evaluate themselves, their efforts, and where their place in the world can find value in each moment. We are limited in the number of minutes we have in life, and it is up to us what we do with them. The choice of enjoyment or boredom is yours and yours alone each day. And, of course, who is to say what one seemingly little minute in your life will lead to? Every minute is the gateway to the best version of yourself. Do you walk through it, stand in front, or walk away from it?


Life Is Short


Our human experience is valuable because there is no clear ending to the journey. It could be many years, or it could be in five minutes. Nobody knows. Yet most of us live our lives as if all the time in the world is at our disposal. It isn’t, and the acceptance and understanding that at some point, this life is going to end give all experiences, moments, and minutes a meaning. Each one will matter before the end, for sure, and often to others around you. What are you doing with your time?


Most people do not live life consciously thinking about the value of the minutes, but if you take a minute and think about it, you can find ways to make each of your minutes a little more valuable. Just as gold or diamonds have a perceived value because of their rarity, should your minutes be treated. Each one is unique and will never come again. Spending time doing what makes you come alive is the most meaningful way is the best way to make your moments last. You get the choice to appreciate what you have in your life or not.


You Choose The Value of Your Minutes


The choice is the action that makes our lives uniquely our responsibility. We choose the value of all things in our lives. We decide how valuable the people we spend time with are or are not. Is this day disappointing, or is it the gateway to something beautiful? That is a choice only you can make about your own life, and you make it every minute. Don’t accept that some minutes are better than others because of factors outside of yourself. That makes you the victim of circumstance and not the master of your fate. You choose on the inside the value that any activity has to you. That is being proactive and will lead to greater enjoyment. If you are reading, decide to value it.


Some would question if you find value if you are not contributing to something or building toward something. But I think your life is something and each moment has a chance to be built into whatever you want. You may not see the value now, but two years from now or a week from now, you will realize the foundation you have started today. If you are not currently building toward something, then you have the power to create a purpose for yourself. Start a new project. Look for a place you can make a difference. Move your sphere of awareness to what you can contribute to the world to make things better in a small way. Helping others provides a feeling of contributing to the world and building a better life for yourself. You are the only one who can choose to value each minute you have.


Responsible for Meaning


Who is to say what value is. It may be one thing, and another person may find something different to be of value to them. Personal choice is going to play a role in this. Look at the last year of my life. Some moments were better than any I have ever known and some worse than any I could imagine. For sure, both of them were valuable for different reasons. Significant change inside of myself has been the result of both extremes. Goals have been reached, which could never have been achieved in any other way. My perspective on life has adjusted more positively because of these learning moments.


Each moment good and evil forced me to change how I looked at myself and dealt with my emotions. All of life is a learning experience, and in this classroom, you are the one who decides if you “pass” and take something significant into the next moment of your life. Or if you “fail” and sit around, feeling sorry for yourself. You are the only one who can choose the value of your life and the moments in it. If you decide to be more honest, open, and understanding because of your experience, it has value. In each moment you live. We are responsible for ourselves and our happiness. You can’t blame anyone else, and you can’t wait for that job, person, or experience to provide value to your life. You have to do it yourself.


Never Underestimate Your Value


We are all connected in this journey of life. We create barriers to separate ourselves from everyone else, but still, there are far more things that join us all. We are all searching for the meaning of one sort or another. Each person we come in contact with has an impact of some kind on them and us. Even if it is minimal, it is still an influence. You can decide how you let that influence affect you. Some people measure the value of their life through degrees earned, awards won, or even material possessions collected. But none of these things truly define a person’s worth. That can only be determined by the positive manner in which they affect the lives of people they come in contact with.


Look at your life and see what positive things you have contributed to the lives of others. Are people better off for your being in their life? If you doubt your contribution, then make a conscious choice to be more of an influence. It doesn’t take money, and it takes a conscious decision to make your life meaningful every minute. Simple things like honesty, encouragement, gratitude, appreciation, and joy of experience can change others’ lives. In looking to make others’ lives better, the life you really will change is your own. The answers to any problem you face might appear at this very minute, and I can’t think of anything more valuable than that.


    

  • “While we are postponing, life speeds by.” Seneca
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  • “If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.” Benjamin Franklin
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  • “Spare moments are the gold dust of time.” Bishop Hail
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  • “I’ve always believed in savoring the moments. In the end, they are the only things we’ll have.” Anna Godbersen
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  • “To do two things at once is to do neither.” Publilius Syrus
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  • “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” Marcus Aurelius
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  • “When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.” Shannon L. Alder
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  • “If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” Bruce Lee
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Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Positive Thinking