22

Filling Up Your Space

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empty space inside of you
What do you fill the space inside of you with?

We each have space inside us that exists to fill with all of the things that matter in life. From birth until we leave this experience, people decide what will fill their space most enjoyable. All of the things we pay attention to and the actions you take fill that space. As we grow older, the decisions about space will be more critical. When we were 20 years old, when something that filled our space no longer seemed to fit and we let it fall away.  There were events, relationships, and other experiences that filled the spaces inside of us. But they are long over and we have to let them go, so there is more room for new life to get in. We have to let things slip away from us and move comfortably into the past. What is in your space that you should let go of? What should you keep?

What Fills Space?

We are always looking for the “stuff” to fill the space inside us. Sometimes we think it is another person who will fill up space and allow us to feel complete. Other times it is material things that we

What are your hands full of right now that is stopping you from grabbing what you really want?
What are your hands full of right now stopping you from grabbing what you want?

Purchase to feel useful and valued. Still, there are other unhealthy activities that we delve into to fill the space inside of us. It can be the overconsumption of alcohol or drugs that we use to fill the holes. Each of these attempts to feel complete falls utterly short because They are temporary solutions to the problem.

You can never fill your space from outside of yourself. We always look for the next “thing” to make us happy. The following relationship is going to be the one that makes us happy. The next job will provide a feeling of competency, and the next new gadget we buy will fill that space.  However, we never really get what we are looking for because the thing that can fill the hole inside us is accepting and loving ourselves and who we are. That is what fills the space.

Limiting Beliefs

Most of us have limiting beliefs about our abilities and what we deserve to

Simple model to follow to rewrite the beliefs that limit you.
A simple model to follow to rewrite the beliefs that limit you.

Receive in life. Most are based on feelings and experiences we learned when we were very young and have hung onto, allowing them to affect us negatively years later. One of the bigger ones many people carry around inside is that they don’t deserve to have things. Money, love, material possessions, all are game for this. If you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy in life, you certainly won’t experience happiness.

The beginning of filling that space in you will come when you start to evaluate your own limiting beliefs about your self-worth. Each of us has an individual value that can’t be duplicated. You are the only one who can be you and make the contribution that you can make to the world. There is a space inside us waiting for us to find our talent, skill, and gift, and then we will feel whole.

Fill your space by discovering your passions and following them. Often we follow what we think we should be doing, from the job we work to the place we live. Each decision is based on society’s collective “dream” and what should be the safest and most realistic.

The empty space you feel inside won’t be filled by doing what others think you should do. It can only be filled by what your heart knows it must do.
Follow your heart and fill the space with the substance of your unique abilities.

“You begin to fly when you let go of self-limiting beliefs and allow your mind and aspirations to rise to greater heights.” ―Brian Tracy

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” ―Mary Kay Ash

“Do just once what others say you can’t do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again.” ―James Cook

“Learning too soon our limitations, we never learn our powers.” —Mignon McLaughlin

“Every person takes the limits of their own field of vision for the limits of the world.” —Arthur Schopenhauer

22

Choose Your Paradigm

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To live life in any thoughtful and contemplative way is to understand we do not have things figured out entirely just yet, and there is always an opportunity for positive growth and change. And the chance to become a better person. This growth can only happen and be a long-term thing affecting our lives if we consciously choose it.  A paradigm is a map we follow to explain a particular aspect of our known territory.  This theory means we have a paradigm for how we interact with others, work in the workforce, seek opportunities, see our self-worth, the way we create and how accomplish goals, and follow our dreams.  Each of these viewpoints has been developed throughout our lives through the beliefs we have accepted as accurate brought on by our upbringing and experiences in life.

The thing to consider is, what if our paradigms have been wrong all along? We have been attacking problems from the wrong perspective.  Right or wrong, how we view and interpret our life and surroundings is the source of our attitudes and behaviors about everything. Our relationships with others and our actions are driven by the subtle programming of our accepted paradigms and interpretations of all things. A paradigm shift occurs when new information enters your experience and forces you to change from seeing the world one way to seeing it another. We can find real change, success, and joy in life through this vision.  We should all be seeking these changes every day.

Significant Change In Your Life

Most people would like to experience some positive change in their life. Better relationships, more money, or a rise in respect are all things people look for to increase their happiness. These changes do not often happen magically, and the current situation we are in is because of the map of understanding we accept as accurate about how the world works. We are conditioned by our parents, relatives, teachers, peers, and society to believe their version of how things work and apply it to our lives.  We live by these accepted “truths” and try to live our life from them. When you start to question these rules, we understand that we have been fed opinions, half-truths, and outright lies.  To find significant change, we have to change our view of what we accept about the world’s workings.

This process is changing your paradigms and the limits placed on you by your accepted and often inaccurate view of your world.  How do you know if your idea is limited? Look at the things you are taught you “can’t” do.   It often takes a tragic event, a traumatic incident, or a primary conscious choice.  These things are generally unpleasant but force you to look at the world differently. And, of course, when you look at the world differently, you will think differently. Your map of you follow as an explanation for things will change.

Widens Scope of Paradigm

Your character as a person also will affect the view we have of the world. One of the fundamental ideas is that the world is a good place with many kind people willing to help you or that the world is a horrible and dangerous place with danger everywhere. This fundamental belief will affect all of your paradigms. If you think there is danger around every corner and each person is out to harm you, you will live your life from that vantage point—one of fear.  Conversely, if you look for the good in people and see it, you will live your life and make choices differently. These are paradigms.

Look at your vision of life and how you see the world.  Do you believe in honesty? Do you believe in kindness? Are you practicing gratitude? Or do you skew your life in the opposite direction?  These questions involve individual answers but will reveal your current paradigms to you. You will see how you value other people and spend your time.  These things are based on the rules you have established and our attempts to explain the territory in which we live.  You control these explanations and either consciously or subconsciously create them and follow them every day. If you are not happy with life, change how you view the world.

Some Paradigms Examples

Learning about paradigms is one thing, and here are some examples of a few that we are taught from youth and tend to hang on for life. Until we choose something different, each explains an aspect of our lives, and we make choices based on these beliefs and will continue to until we decide to remove and replace them.

List of Paradigms

  1. You must go to school and get excellent grades to succeed.

  2. It would be best if you never daydreamed as it’s a waste of time.

  3. You should go to college and get a degree to be successful and productive.

  4. You can’t earn higher salaries and promotions without a degree.

  5. It would be best to get a secure job, regardless of your enjoyment in performing the task. Secure employment makes you a stable, reliable, and regular person.

  6. Happiness is secondary to financial security.

  7. It would be best if you got married right after getting a good job, and that is normal.

  8. You should always save money for “rainy days.”

  9. It would be best to get a formal education in business to run one.

  10. You must never spend money lavishly, be frugal and careful.

These are just some of the programming messages we receive through our life experiences. Are these right or wrong? That is up to each person to decide for themselves. There is an argument to be made for each one and how the opposite of each could be just as accurate and valid to a person.  Remember that none of these things are facts. They are all only opinions based on a person’s experience. You can accept, change, and disregard them at any time. That is part of being a conscious, thinking human being.

Examine You

Please take a few minutes and write down what you believe about life and look at how valid they are.  You may find out your truths are just opinions and, if adjusted, will allow you to accomplish more and live your life more satisfyingly.  Too often, our negative thoughts and fear-based beliefs control our paradigms and cause us to live our lives not as we would like but how others feel we should.  Paradigms allow you to recognize the negative, limiting beliefs in your life and restate them more proactively and positively. The life you have to improve is your own.

“Your paradigm is so intrinsic to your mental process that you are hardly aware of its existence until you try to communicate with someone with a different paradigm.” – Donella Meadows

“The symbolic language of the crucifixion is the death of the old paradigm; resurrection is a leap into a whole new way of thinking.” -Deepak Chopra
“If we want to make relatively minor changes in our lives, we can perhaps appropriately focus on our attitudes and behaviors. But if we want to make significant, quantum change, we need to work on our basic paradigms.” – Stephen R. Covey

“We don’t see things as they are. We see things as we are.” – Anais Niin

“If you don’t get out of the box you were raised in, you won’t understand how much bigger the world is.” –  Angelina Jolie

 “Just because something has always been done in a certain way is never a sufficient reason for continuing to do it that way.” – Clarence Birdseye

“If you want to create change, you must challenge not only the models of Unreality but the paradigms that underwrite them.” – Stafford Beer

 

 

 

 

 

22

How to Change Your Reality

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Every moment of the day, we are all experiencing our version of life, and through that, we see and understand what reality is.  But the strange thing is that our understanding of truth in the same situation as someone else can be different.  People do not respond to reality, and they respond tho their perceptions of that reality showing up in their life. Think about how some situations are so tricky they cause a person to break down and be destroyed. Another person in the same position turns the pain and suffering into positive action and becomes better and stronger because of their reality.  The same situation, different perceptions, and very different results. How is your perception of your reality affecting your view of life?

Beliefs and Paradigms

All of us have a structure of rules that allow us to comprehend the world and understand its place. That structure is a paradigm.  Your beliefs drive your paradigm. And our belief system was developed very early in life, usually before the age of 10. These beliefs are things we picked up from observation and direct lessons from our family, schools, organizations, peer groups, and society in general.  Our experience has programmed us.  Some of these beliefs are positive and helpful, and some are limiting and harmful.  It is up to us to evaluate each idea and construct our paradigms of life.

The paradigm you see the world through determines how you react to any situation.  The first choice we all make is whether the world is a hostile place or a wonderful and caring place.  That is the basis for all of the beliefs which follow.  If you think everyone is out for themselves, are mean-spirited and selfish, you will have a much different reaction to someone cutting you off in traffic than someone who believes people are inherently good and life will work out for the best.  These two fundamental views drive the reality of all people.  How do you see the world?  What paradigm have you constructed, and are you willing to evaluate where you are wrong?  That is the beginning of growth, and positive change and life are about development.

Helping Others See

Once you get a little experience looking at your view of reality, when you encounter a person in a place you have previously been, it is natural to want to help them.  Unfortunately, many life lessons are meant to be learned through the cold, unforgiving hand of experience.  You can’t help someone else unless they want your help and, in most cases, ask for it. That isn’t easy when you care about the person and see the path you think they should or could follow to achieve their goals. If they can’t see it, or it contradicts their paradigm, then fear will stop, which is a battle each of us has to fight individually. Just because you can see success for someone doesn’t mean they want it or are ready to receive it.

Please make sure someone wants your help.

To help someone, they need to be open to receiving your help and willing to listen to what you say and think about what they are doing. It helps a person also needs to be receptive to new ideas, thoughts, and potential growth coming their way.  Leaving old beliefs, even clearly limiting one behind, is uncomfortable and painful.  But it is a necessary part of life.  Finally, a person needs to appreciate the opportunity to change and grow.  Otherwise, it will be too easy to fall back into old habits or never take the necessary steps to reach their goals and become the person they want to become. You can offer your help to someone who is not appreciative but be prepared for painful and ineffective results.  It is all up to the person and how they view reality.

Looking Ahead

Finally, look at the vision a person has about themselves and their future, and you will see how we all shape our reality every day through the decisions we make every day.  A clear, inspiring vision of a positive future and understanding of some changes that need to be made to get there will help you shift your paradigm and vision of reality to bring that vision into being. If you lack a clear, inspiring vision, you tend to move around in the present moment or cling hopelessly to the past. Neither of these things will propel you forward, they will just be wasting your time, and unless you change, your vision will never come into your reality.

Having a vision and seeing what you want in your mind before you ever have it come into your life is one of the real joys of being human.  Look at the things you envision for yourself in the future. Are these things you want? Or are they ideas others want for you? Your happiness and fulfillment in life will be determined by how much you allow the creation of your visions. There is nothing worse than creating something you think you want, getting to the end, and experiencing an empty feeling of “this is it?” Real vision doesn’t have that feeling in the future because your reality matches up with your goals and what you want to see in your life. False ideas can come in pursuing a career, doing what you think you should, rather than doing what you want.

Look at your reality today, take an inventory of your paradigm, goals, and vision, and see if your reality matches what you want to see as a part of your life.  If it is, then keep doing what you are doing. If things don’t match up, then be willing to shift your paradigm into something you desire to have in your life.  How can you move your life in the direction of your vision today?  Who in your life can help you, if you ask?

People do not respond to reality, and they react to their perceptions of that reality showing up in their life.

“Perception is reality. If you are perceived to be something, you might as well be it because that’s the truth in people’s minds.”- Steve Young

“Our understanding is correlative to our perception.”   Robert Delaunay

“Perception is created and twisted so quickly.” Louis C.K.

“One has not only an ability to perceive the world but an ability to alter one’s perception of it; more simply, one can change things by the manner in which one looks at them.”  Tom Robbins

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOPwviOUenA

22

The Positive Turn

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If you are wondering what your thoughts and emotions have led you to in life, take a moment and look at your life and honestly evaluate your circumstances. Nothing will provide a clearer picture. The events of your life are a living, breathing display of how you think and what you believe about yourself.  We make choices every day about what exactly we “deserve” to experience every day, and the accumulative effect of these choices is our reality.  So if you are working a job you are not wild about, that is a result of your preferences. Nobody else forced you into it. You chose it for some reason. The status of your relationships in all areas of your life results from the decisions you have made based on your beliefs about life and reality. That is a fact, and if you want to change things, you need to look at the ideas that led to your thoughts and discard the ones that are leading you in a negative direction. Here are a few thoughts to move in a positive direction. There is success in everyone. The potential for joy in every day and all of it is really up to us.

Take Responsibility

The first and only place to look in answer to: “Why am I in this situation?” or “How did this happen?” is to look in the mirror and accept your responsibility for all of your life situations.  You can cry and complain about this happening or wallow over the sadness that somebody else hurt you. That is a fact; people will hurt others, be callous, uncaring, and take advantage of others.  It happens to everyone in life, but you are responsible for your reaction to everything. You are responsible.

It is easy to slip into the role of a victim and feel sorry for yourself and think about how you couldn’t help what happened because someone else made the choices. That is a very slippery slope, and it slips in more areas once you allow responsibility to fall to something or someone else. The best choice we can make is to take complete responsibility for our lives and situations, and that gives us all the power to create whatever future we want.  You are responsible for your past and your future.

Grow and Take Action

You have the opportunity in every moment of every day to seize that experience and make it something powerful and productive. Too often, I have seen myself and others sit comfortably in the virtual recliner of routine behavior. If you dream of doing something, set your intention to create it, and then take at least a small action toward developing it. In action, there is a truth. It will tell you what will work and what you need to do differently, but it will always lead you toward your reality and the accomplishment of your goals and dreams.

Action will help you gain more wisdom regarding what you want, what will make you happy, and what might not. Learning is gaining knowledge and can come to you from books, videos, classes, other people, time spent in nature, or many different sources.  Nothing will lead you to wisdom if you don’t seek it, and nothing can stop you from finding it if you look for it. So make an effort to find the knowledge available to you every day, and then look for ways you can share what you have learned with the rest of the world. To receive is essential, but to give is the legacy of your life. Make it a positive one.

Choose a Happy Destiny

It doesn’t matter to me if you believe in destiny or not; you have an opportunity in your short life to create something magnificently fabulous or something tragically awful, or something anywhere in between. It is up to you to look at your heart and see what gifts you have to fine-tune and share with the world. Your destiny will be assured once you have listened to that voice within. We are all born with something to give, and then life covers it up through programming and expectations.  The journey to find it is up to you.

Often, the simple thought and feeling of genuine gratitude will guide you back to your true self. Be grateful for what you have in life, and more will come your way. That is what seems always to happen. Have a thankful spirit, and that choice will bring happiness into your life. Grateful people are still happy, and that choice can be yours now. No matter what your situation is right now, there is something to be thankful for, and through gratitude, a small glimmer of joy will enter your life whether you want it to or not. Look for it, create it, and move more positive feelings into your life.

Forgive

Another absolute power we all have is brought to us through forgiveness. It doesn’t mean you condone any poor behavior, and it doesn’t mean you are OK with bad things happening to you, but it means you are no longer letting something that happened in the past define you today.  Refer back to responsibility. You are the only one that can choose to forgive someone and all they do or don’t do. Holding on to anger, hate, fear, or whatever negative emotion you perceive from an event will harm you. These are released through forgiveness. Decide to give heartfelt and honest forgiveness to all those in your life.

The most important person you can forgive is yourself. Deep down, we hold anger toward ourselves for all things that occur in our lives.  Some see taking responsibility for their life this way.  Looking at the past is an impossible game because you can’t change anything that happened, and if you could have done better or behaved differently, you certainly would have.  So to use your past as a punishment for your experiences today is our choice.  And it can be released by only looking into our hearts and forgiving the people who hurt us and, most importantly ourselves. A forgiving spirit will guide you to greatness and a life without fear.

Persist Always

Finally, it is vital to develop and maintain a practice of persistence in your life. Some will start many things and have a high energy level initially but will lose their momentum at the first challenge they face and move on to something else. Persist without exception.  Nothing ever takes the place of persistence. It is a trait that will lead to success in all areas of life. Keep on trying. Get knocked down eight times, get up nine, and trim will be able to stop you.  It is a great faith in yourself that will allow you to be persistent in your pursuit of a career, health, a relationship, or anything else you are shooting for. Keep on trying, and don’t give up because it gets difficult or you have an initial setback. Those challenges are sometimes needed to teach you the information you need. Persistence is power and will always lead you in a positive direction.

“The truth I know for sure is that if something feels good and makes you happy on the inside, you’re probably moving in the right direction.”- Jacqui Holland

“Surround yourself with people who talk about ideas and visions of positivity and do not waste time talking about other people.” 

 

22

Dreaming My Dreams

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Dream 

My goal is to establish a positive focus every morning by concentrating on one positive word or phrase. There are enough negative influences in the world, and I believe that through a conscious movement of thought, we can improve our emotions, words, and actions and make the world a better place and our lives more enjoyable.   Follow your dreams today?  

What is a dream?

One of the great things about life is that we can conjure up images in our minds of things we want to experience and accomplish through our efforts. These are nothing more than thoughts in our imagination, which are dreams.  Once you establish these dreams, then it becomes a quest to see if you can accomplish them or not. There are plans to make and actions to take, which will allow you to complete all the things you set out to do.

Sometimes you will reach your dream, and sometimes you won’t. But it is the journey to accomplish the things in our minds that provides spice to life.  To believe in yourself and your ability to perform things when all others doubt you and make it happen is the greatest accomplishment.  Follow your dreams!!

Finding the Value

Not all journeys are going to be comfortable and seamless. You can set out on the path to chase a dream, and it will be comfortable in the beginning, but there will be challenges that arise and obstacles that get in your way.  At these moments, a person needs to look for the lesson they are being taught or the skill they have the time to develop.  Often that is the best value that dreams provide an increase in agility, thought, and performance that would have never existed if you didn’t have the plan in the first place.

There is also an enjoyment of the journey that gives a zest to life we can all use.  As you go down the inevitable path, your dream will take you; there will be experiences along the way. There is knowledge to gather, people who encourage you, people who don’t encourage you, and tiny victories and defeats along the way.  Take the time to appreciate them all because it is in the struggle that the value of the goal is felt.

Dreams Come True Every Day

The most important thing to remember on your journey is that dreams come true every day. There are people out there with no more talent, skill, or drive than you are turning their imaginative thoughts into reality.  You can do it too—some simple things to do. First, keep the image of your dream in your mind daily. Please write it down. Look at it regularly and use your imagination to think about what it will be like, then it comes into your reality.  Second, don’t listen to those with a negative mind.  If you want to get discouraged, tell people about your dream. They will most often list all the reasons you are unrealistic or that it can’t possibly happen.  Keep your goals close to your heart and yourself, except for those who are optimistic supporters.  Third, keep on going and moving forward. This track is done by taking consistent and appropriate action, developing your skills, and getting you closer to accomplishing what you dream about.

Dreams are a human experience. No other creature we know of experiences something in the imagination and then brings it into reality.  Our ability to attempt to do this brings us to hope that life can get better and that we can turn things we desire into reality. That means we can create almost anything in our lives. Become better, develop your skills, and follow your dreams.  They are a reality on the other side of your imagination.

“Character consists of what you do on the third and fourth tries.” ―James A. Michener

“How long should you try? Until.” ―Jim Rohn

 “It always seems impossible until it’s done.” ―Nelson Mandela

“You just can’t beat the person who won’t give up.” ―Babe Ruth

 

 

22

Just My Imagination

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One of our most powerful tools as people is our imagination. Each person can conjure up images of the most marvelous and creative things in the mind.  The ability to think in original thoughts separates the innovators from the pretenders in business and life.  Imagination is creative thinking running wild and looking at the world in a new or different way.  It is so unique that we all have this ability. It is one of the gifts of having a human experience.  We are only limited by the amount of effort we put into our imagination practice.  Our minds create the experiences we have in life.  Why is it that so many people do not use this gift?  Most people seek concrete avenues of thought which solve minor problems and lead to no significant contribution in life.  They are safe but will never lead to innovation in any area of life.  Let’s think about this for a bit.

The Concrete Path

This is a road of thought taught to us from our earliest moments. As we are taught the right way to behave at the dinner table and in public as children, which are all great skills, we are also inundated with many other things. The shame of not being exactly like everyone else, fearing being different, or not fitting in is also drilled into our minds. We are all seeking this level of normality in our behavior and, more significantly, in our thoughts.

Instead of being challenged to look at things creatively, we are stunted in our development and pushed into a fixed mindset of limitations.  This is true of the ideas of what is expected from children to what is expected from adults.  Follow the concrete path, and “you will be happy.”  Go to school, get educated, have a career, a family, work for 30 years, retire and wait for this ride to end.  Following this concrete destination is supposed to make us all happy with life, but it doesn’t work like that.  We have our paths to follow and things to create that don’t fall on that path.

Our Purpose

It is our purpose that drives us once we start looking for it.  It isn’t going to be found on the concrete path of society, but off of it, down some dirt path that others tell you not to follow.  Yet you still follow it to find the thing you have felt has been missing in your life.  That purpose is yours to discover, ignore, avoid, or build a life upon as you see fit, but it is always their calling to you. Some are fortunate, and they find their calling early on in life and have a chance to transform it and themselves over time.  Others are not so lucky; circumstances and experience will allow you to discover or rediscover precisely what you should be doing in this life.

Your purpose doesn’t have to be a giant mountain to climb or an overwhelming responsibility, and it can be a more simple life or better decisions about the ones you care about.  Mark Twain famously said, “The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.”  This is the process of finding out why.  Without looking for your purpose, you will never find it, and that is the secret to enjoying life, taking your path without fear, and seeing where it takes you. The most incredible tool you have is your imagination to help you.

Use Your Imagination

Imagination will allow you to see how things might be if you can follow your purpose. To create a world that only exists in your mind and actively look for steps that will take you in that direction. Nothing in this world was ever created by man that wasn’t first, just a thought in someone’s imagination. Each of us has the same ability to take an idea through the process of creation and into reality.  It is a matter of focus and commitment.

People can practice and fine-tune this talent, like someone training with weights works their body into shape. You can exercise the ability to be creative and make something where once there was nothing. I enjoy doing just that with an empty page and creating thoughts that weren’t there before. Like they are buildings holding the secrets to many lives.  Whatever you want to make, be conscious of the process, have a thought, imagine what it will be like completed, then take steps to move your idea toward reality.

We are all pushed down the concrete path of life to be exactly like everyone else, but none of us are the same, and all seek individual expression. Creativity is the vehicle for expression that lives in us and needs to be nurtured.  Practice the creative process, work with your imagination today, and see what path it leads you down.

“Every human has four endowments – self-awareness, conscience, independent will, and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.” -Stephen Covey

“You can’t depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus.”- Mark Twain.

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.”- Robert Fulghum

 

22

The Best Version of You

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Once you choose START WALKING

All people find themselves at a point of decision in life. The way you decide to walk will determine much about your journey.  We are all on a trip from birth to death, and, in between, we make the choices defining us. What do you do? How do you choose the direction?

The answer I hope to find in this writing. Our minds are valuable tools; they provide information, ideas, and thoughts. Unfortunately, these things are often not very accurate because of the faulty programming of our pasts.  But we can overcome all of this, use our minds to accomplish great things, and become the best versions of ourselves. It just takes a little work, and the path will become apparent to you.

Programming Problems

Human beings are exceptional. From the moment we are born, we take in information and attempt to understand how to fit into the world, survive and thrive.  We look at how people treat us, other people, and situations to glean valuable bits of information about how to play this game.  We choose the things which work for us and stick to them, adopting them as the beliefs behind our lives. If you tried something new, failed, and were ridiculed for it, you were conditioned not to try anything out of your comfort zone again.

Random comments, nicknames, attitudes, and thoughts of others can make a lifelong impression, and if the tone is negative, these are a part of our self-image.  The source can be a parent, role model, peer, or even something seen in the media. These are lasting impressions and, once accepted, are a part of our paradigm of life, the rules we apply to the world.  These beliefs can be about our talents, worth, money, relationships, and all aspects of what makes us, us.  If left unchecked or unchallenged, a negative belief will be a part of our subconscious programming until the day we die.  We are in control of this, though.

Changing our Negative Beliefs

It is not a complicated process to change a belief. But it isn’t easy. Change is hard in any circumstance; it is frightening when you look inside yourself and honestly see an area needing a replacement.  Our ego is a part of our mind designed to keep us safe. The voice in your head tells you to be afraid of new things and attacks new ideas.  Doubt arises because of the fear of being harmed by trying something new. Even though a new career is the best option, the ego will fill your head full of doubt. A head full of uncertainty will have a difficult time making a choice.

Clearing the voice of doubt can be done by consistently presenting contrary facts.  It seems people will resist the truths in front of them until it becomes overwhelming. Life forces a change through circumstances. Usually, change comes when there is no other real choice. But if you plan a little, you can control the difference and even dictate how it moves in your life.  Realistic goal setting is one way.  What will make you happy? What career interests you? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Ten years? These might be an excellent place to start. Honestly, answering them for yourself about what resonates with your soul will show you which direction you should start to walk.

Goals Are Guides

Setting goals are one of the mainstays of achievement. However, there is little formal education on goal setting and completing these goals.  There is a direct relationship between setting goals and the progress which results. A plan will provide a target to shoot for and dictate the actions you take daily to reach your ideal result.  You may be the best archer globally, but without a clear target to shoot at, all of your arrows will go astray. Give yourself the goal and put your focus on that.  Allow your actions to follow the intention.

Setting a goal is not difficult, but having the courage and consistency to accomplish them is.  It can be tricky because of the programming mentioned above and what we believe about ourselves, our talents, the world, and the nature of life.  If it were easy, there would be no accomplishment. The great thing is that all people can do it. Learning to focus your thoughts on what you truly want in life, walk that path, and stick to it will result.  Life is not a passive play. If you approach it like that, nothing will happen.  Life is an activity, and you will never finish until it is over.

Taking the First Steps

If you are standing at a crossroads in your life, wondering which direction to walk, look inward and make the big decision of what you want. Then create your goal.  There will be many doubts, but you have to learn to put them aside or continue standing still, doing nothing.  If you set a goal, achieve it, and realize you want something else, then good for you! You will have another journey ahead, and you will always have another adventure to walk, which is a good thing in life.

Sit down, choose your direction, be proactive, and write your goal down in bright letters.  Spend time imagining what the accomplished goal will look like and feel like to accomplish.  Keep your focus until your dream enters reality, letting your daily actions be steps toward this desired end.  Consistent massive action will provide you with the information you need. The energy of life responds to your actions.  Taking action makes things happen; standing still makes nothing happen.  You are in control of this. You alone decide the energy and movement of your life. You are the only one responsible, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about your accomplishments except for yourself.

Choose your path and start to walk it. Once you set an intention through goal setting and set out to accomplish it with a positive outlook, you will see things fall into place for you. Help will come; things will work out for the best. What path are you choosing to walk?

Goal Setting Quotes:

“All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.” —Orison Swett Marden

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie.

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” —Pablo Picasso.

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” —Earl Nightingale.

“By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands—your own.” —Mark Victor Hansen.

You have the chance to be great, take it!!

Chances lost are hope’s torn out pages.
Maybe this time…………….

22

Success Isn’t Everything

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Success– the accomplishment of an aim or purpose.

success questionsSuccess is something all people aspire to. It is the signal that our efforts have allowed us to move forward to achieving the things we want in our lives.  Accomplishments could be personal or professional, but one of the best ways to guide yourself toward success is to ask yourself the right questions about how you are progressing each day.  This process is a shift in consciousness for most people. Either you are drifting on a river going where life takes you, or you are steering your raft toward your success.  The paddle you drive is the question you ask yourself.  It starts with a conscious awareness of your thoughts, emotions, words, and actions to pursue your desired purpose and issues that will take you there.

Why Questions Build Success

Questions are a tool that can change your whole focus in your day.  Asking the right questions will provide focus and direction for a day. There is a reason you should question yourself.  First, an item will immediately change your attention, and changing that focus to a goal will bring answers to success questionsyou. What can I do today to help move me closer to a dream, purpose, or objective?  Where focus goes, energy flows.

What action can I take to become wealthier today?  What things can I do to build better relationships? What activities will make me happy today?  Each question will focus on that thing, and even if you don’t know for sure what to do, suggestions will come to your mind—usually a lot of them.  Then you can whittle them down to the ones you feel are valuable to your growth path. Often the first ones that come to your mind are pretty poignant.  It is good to be open to all options and not dismiss potential answers automatically.  Weigh your focused suggestions carefully, then choose the best actions.  Of course, to accomplish anything and use those questions, your answers need to be followed up with actions. Work makes everything happen.

Success May Come From Deleting Information

Another significant side effect of asking the right questions and honestly seeking an answer is your focus tends to cut through the opposition you might have to a goal.  You may have to make changes, and with change success questionscomes risk. Risk of failure, risk of learning, and most importantly, a chance of what others will think of most people.   A good question will get you to focus on what you want and delete what you don’t want.

What can I stop doing that hinders my success?  What things prevent me from accomplishing my goals?  Answer these questions and delete those barriers from your life, and you will be on your way to success.  Identifying the situations, actions, and people that hold you back allows you to stay clear of these things and work toward accomplishing the aim or purpose you seek.  How can this work for you?  That answer is up to you and the actions that result from your solution.

It Won’t Always be Easy.

Of course, the journey toward your success will not always be comfortable, but using the right questions can also help you navigate any rough waters you encounter. We are not born with all the knowledge and skills we need to success questionsaccomplish some things.  The education we need often comes from experience, and those experiences may seem complicated and unwanted.  For example, losing a job for any reason can be tough to deal with one’s life.  But along with that change comes opportunity.

Where is the opportunity here I am not seeing?  What can I do now things are changing? What can I learn from this?  How can I turn this around?  Any of these questions will bring answers to guide you. All situations provide information and use them to learn and grow.  What other positive choices do you have?  Questions can reveal the resources available to you and improve your outlook, production, and performance in your life.

Success is a matter of the Right Questions.

Learning to develop a definite pattern of questions for yourself can help build a consistent tool to empower you to overcome obstacles and reach the successes you desire to experience in your life.  The items will steer your focus toward solutions and away from the distractions and self-pity our minds often provide.  Look consciously at your goals and what is stopping you from reaching them today.

Make the conscious choice to see the possibilities in your challenges, leading you toward your goals and desires.  It all begins with a focus on the thoughts you entertain, the emotions they elicit, the words you use to express them, and the actions you take.  Your success today may be one good question away.

“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco

“The key to wisdom is this – constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting, we are led to question, by questioning we arrive at the truth.” – Peter Abelard

“A prudent question is one-half of wisdom.” – Francis Bacon

Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?  – the musical question only you can answer for success today.

https://youtu.be/8qssWO8NSq0

 

 

 

22

Open or Closed?

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When something happens in your life, do you open up your heart to it? Or do you close your heart down and resist the reality of the situation?  All of our choices come down to this simple distinction.  Your decision in this area will determine your general mood and overall happiness.  To close yourself off or open yourself up to life.

Closed

Think of a time when you closed your heart down.  It could be a very justified situation like someone hurt you, and you closed that experience off because it hurt you in the past.  Then when anything arises which reminds you of that actual situation. However, it makes a lot of sense to want to avoid these things that hurt us once. Closing your heart, mind, and soul to them doesn’t stop them from existing. It only prevents you from dealing with them.  And, of course, things don’t go away. If you resist them, they only linger in the background and do their damage later.

Being closed will feel contrary to you because you are stopping the natural movement of energy through you.  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. So if you have energy moving through it and you close down and repress it, there will be consequences.  Resistance will lead to feeling bad and have you operating with low vibrations. Spending all that energy reflecting and ignoring things can make you worn out and tired.  There is a better alternative.

Open Up Buttercup

The best practice is to learn to keep your heart open, regardless of how you view the situations you see.  That doesn’t mean you accept poor treatment or unhealthy conditions for you. Instead, you healthily deal with them, allow disappointment, pain, or suffering to move through you, and then let it go and move on.  One of the negative things about being closed is at least a part of you stays in a very unhealthy place for all time.  What do you change by doing this? Nothing.  Open up your heart and accept whatever is happening.  If a relationship ends, it is no good to pine away for the past.  Thank them for the lessons, absorb the learning, let go of the pain, and move on.

When you are open, your energy is naturally optimistic, and you will be functioning at your peak. You will feel good about yourself, and your point will be helpful for all you come in contact with.  Choosing to be open brings a high energy level, which will make accomplishing your goals more manageable, and you will feel better about life and your part in making it a worthwhile experience.

It is a Choice

To be open or closed is a choice, and it is a fundamental decision you make every day of your life. You can boil it down to this simple statement. Choose to be open and prepare to be happy.  Choose to be closed……… prepare to be unhappy.  Nobody else can make this choice for you, and only you are responsible for what you decide.

“Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.”
– Mark Twain

“It does take great maturity to understand that the opinion we are arguing for is merely the hypothesis we favor, necessarily imperfect, probably transitory, which only very limited minds can declare a certainty or a truth.”
– Milan Kundera

“Begin challenging your assumptions. Your assumptions are your windows to the world. Scrub them off every once in a while, or the light won’t come in.”
– Alan Alda

“By all means, let’s be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains pop out.”
– Richard Dawkins

“Let yourself be open, and life will be easier. A spoon of salt in a glass of water makes the water undrinkable, and a spoon of salt in a lake is almost unnoticed.”
– Buddha Siddhartha

 

22

Having Some Compassion

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Compassion- concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others.

CompassionLiving in the United States, it is easy to focus solely on ourselves and the things that affect us directly. Looking at everything in the light of difficulty, pain, joy, or ease with which it will impact our lives and day-to-day existence.  Compassion is a much-needed ability to show concern for the misfortunes others face and, I think to have a care for their suffering.  On a broader scope, be compassionate enough to do what you can to ease the pain of others where you can. This practice starts with increasing consciousness around the compassion you show the world and its residents in your thoughts, words, and actions throughout each day. Not just in the lives of people you don’t know but, more importantly, in the lives of people, we see every day.

What Do Compassionate People Do?

I heard it said somewhere by someone much more intelligent than me that people in all situations are “just another version of me.” If you were faced with the circumstances they faced and been treated as they were, given the morals and experiences of their lives, you might do just what they did. You might experience the things they are experiencing. So rather than judge someone for the things they have done or their lives. Recognize with compassion that there but for the luck of circumstance goes you.

Understanding that we are so similar will allow you to find a place in your heart for compassion toward most other people.  Remembering your humanity is shared with all that walk the Earth makes compassion a gift to yourself. Look around you each day, and if you look hard, you can see a part of yourself in everyone, in all circumstances. Think of what would make your experience more enjoyable and give that to someone. It can be a simple smile or providing privacy in a moment of sadness, and having compassion is free. You don’t need a dime to practice it. Being aware of the problems others face allows you to show the best of yourself by putting the concerns ahead of your own. Be conscious of all the other versions of you in your life today and give to them what you would want to receive.

How to Show Compassion

Some people live and believe differently than they do in the world. Rather than judge them, dismiss their lives as wrong and need to be changed. Take a moment and understand that all people don’t practice things the way you do. Religion is often a place where the judgment of others is encouraged.  If a person doesn’t believe the same way they do, they are wrong. When you see someone in need or in trouble, let your emotion help and make it better kick in.

Imagine what simple measures of compassion you can show in your daily life that will make the world a better place and the experience of another more enjoyable in a small way? Just being kind and compassionate to someone when they need it can bring light to the world that will remain dormant without your participation.  Don’t judge the circumstance, but accept the humanity of all people and see what you can do to make life better.  We all Have the power to do this.  Try not to put others down, especially to make yourself feel better. Lift others, and you will rise naturally.

Examples of Compassion

There are over 7 billion people today, each with unique stories of life. There is more of a need than ever before for compassion.  Through the practice of compassion, you can minimize differences, and we can accentuate our similarities.  The significant problems of Compassionthe world of war, poverty, starvation, and a general disregard for the lives of others are all fear-based, and it seems they could all be erased if everyone thought to practice compassion.  Fear is the cause of all of these things, fear of losing something, fear of being harmed, fear of others.

Compassion eliminates fear because, through our hearts, humanity in all others is recognized and celebrated.  Having a concern for the well-being of others and doing something to promote that would start by making your own life more fulfilling and enjoyable.  Who knows where that might spread if given a chance? One act of compassion could change someone’s life for the better and forever. You don’t know for sure. But acting out of judgment, selfishness, and fear, you can be confident that the world will not get better today.  Be compassionate to the suffering of those around you.

Take just a moment today and raise your consciousness about the compassion that you have shown in your life for others.  Put understanding squarely in your consciousness by focusing for a short time on it in your thoughts, words, and actions.  See what difference you can make with this simple action in the world.

Compassion Quotes

“The purpose of human life is to serve and show compassion and the will to help others.” ~ Albert Schweitzer

 “A kind gesture can reach a wound that only compassion can heal.” Steve Maraboli

 “Compassion and tolerance are not signs of weakness, but a sign of strength.” Dalai Lama

 “There is a nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.” John Connolly 

“Compassion is about giving all the love that you’ve got.” Cheryl Strayed

 

Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Positive Thinking