22

If You Haven’t Got Your Health

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Health-a person’s mental or physical condition

HealthNo matter what things you create in life or how intelligent you are, you don’t have anything if you haven’t got your health. Everything we experience is through the senses of our bodies, and greatness is achieved through the use of a keen mind, a fit body, and a spirit that will guide you in all sorts of weather.  Each day your health should be one of your highest priorities.  To lack health on any side of the sacred triangle of body, mind, and spirit will limit what a person can accomplish and how they experience life.  Work to keep yourself in peak mental and physical condition throughout your years, or your years will be much shorter and less enjoyable than they should be.  My contention is to find a way to improve myself by at least .01% each day. That is to make sure that I am physically, spiritually, and mentally at least .01% better than yesterday. It is a simple philosophy; if you are not getting better, you are getting worse.

The Human Body was Built to Move

You have been given a gift of a body, and through this gift, you experience the world. How well you maintain your gift will determine what you can do and how you can do it.  So it makes sense to treat your body as healththe most valuable asset it is, and this is done by getting regular periods of exercise and eating a reasonably healthy diet.

The human body was designed to move. It enjoys movement and exercise and will respond favorably to this experience. The body releases endorphins that reward exercise, which improves your mood throughout the day. For me, the exercise I love is lifting weights and some cardio.  For you, it may be yoga, running, mixed martial arts, aerobics, or any other workout.  Start doing it today; if you don’t know what you like, start with just walking.  Do something. The human body was not designed to sit down all day and do nothing. Too often, our activities are voluntarily sedentary. In moderation, there is nothing wrong with that.  As a lifestyle, it will lead to poor mental and physical health.  If you want to be sharper mentally, raise your self-esteem, and enjoy life more, participate in regular exercise.   The earlier you start, the easier it will be to maintain throughout life.

You Are what you Eat

Food should be looked at as something that sustains your body and allows you to perform. As Americans, we have an unhealthy attachment to the foods we eat. Eating is a social thing, and certain foods become activities of healthcomfort.  Each time we eat for reasons other than to provide energy, we are in danger of overeating. When you overeat and take in too much food, you will put on weight. When you carry too much weight, the human body starts to break down, the cardiovascular system has to work harder to service the body, the skeletal system is pushed to the limits, and your overall wellness suffers.  Human beings literally wear their decisions about what food they put in their mouth.

There are thousands of diets that people try to sell you, and I am not wise enough to tell you this or that it is the greatest way to lose weight and be healthy. If you are mindful of what you eat, why you are eating, and how much you eat, most diets will provide positive results.  Finding the right mix for yourself will lead to a lifestyle change around food which will be long-lasting. That is the healthy change you are looking for.  What will work for you may not be something that works for everyone.

Make choices today which will benefit your health and allow you to live a life as your best self. Be conscious of your health in thoughts, words, and actions.  Get started on an exercise program and be mindful of how you eat.  The life you improve will be your own.

To enjoy good health, bring true happiness to one’s family, and bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control one’s own mind. If a man can control his mind, he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.  ~ Buddha 

 

 

22

Seeing Both Sides Now

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Look at things in a way that benefits you. Change your perception.  

Two different people can look at the same thing and see something different. One may know an insurmountable roadblock, and it causes them to give up. Another comes to the same barrier and sees an opportunity, a way to get ahead or discover something new about the world or themselves.

It is the same situation, but we create the value or limits of that situation in our minds. If you believe it is an end, then it is an end. If you think it is the beginning, then it is the beginning. Your perception of anything will determine your thoughts, feelings, words, and actions about that thing. Look at the way you look at things.

Fair and Unfair

There are going to be challenges faced in every life. Nobody lives from birth until death and never sees any adversity, and that would be a life with very little growth in it. The challenges we face will force us to look at them and react to them as we see fit. The reaction you learn to have will determine if you are successful or not in life. One of the biggest lessons we can learn is to see everything as an opportunity and not something that will hold us back.

Many things happen in our lives; some seem reasonable and fair, and others are seemingly unfair and difficult. How we label a crisis doesn’t change the dynamics of what that emergency entails. All things are how we see them. Is it an overwhelming end of the world? Or is it an opportunity to learn something or experience something else you might have previously recognized as impossible? The choice there is all in your head, and how you decide to perceive it, you will make a choice. It is never what comes your way but how you react to it that determines your destiny. If you still have breath, then you can always make a choice. That is the fairest thing about life.

Some things to Focus On

There are a few things about perspective to think about. Maintain some objectivity when something happens. It isn’t easy to let our emotions get involved when something happens. Fear, anger, frustration, or other negative emotion often raises their ugly head. Work to keep an even keel, and look at the whole picture before you react off the cuff or on the fly. Then put the negative away.

Choose to see the good in a situation if it is possible. Sometimes this can be nearly impossible, but it will allow you to focus your energy on how to overcome the difficulty and move toward success. If you can learn to ignore what limits and bothers other people, you will be a step ahead and near the front. Then focus on what can be controlled and work to manage those things.

What is your perspective?

How are you looking at the things in your way today? Are they too big to manage? Do you feel like quitting? Or are you seeing them as the opportunity they are? How you answer these questions will probably be a determining factor in how things will play out for you.

“Our understanding is correlative to our perception.”- Robert Delaunay

“There are things known, and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception. “—Aldous Huxley

“One has not only an ability to perceive the world but an ability to alter one’s perception of it; more simply, one can change things by the manner in which one looks at them.”     Tom Robbins

 

22

Looking for You

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Do you Let Your True Self Shine?

Do You Know?
Do You Know?

I have had to pause to ask myself about my path quite often. What makes each of us unique? Let me tell you what I think. Each of us is born with unique talent or skill that is ours alone. It is given to us at birth, and we need only to follow it to find our purpose in life.

Life isn’t ever that easy, though. From the moment we come into the world, we are met with limits and expectations from others.

Sometimes the limits come from a place of love, like a parent guiding their child safely, and sometimes they come from a much darker experience.

It matters little where the limits come from, and they cause us to be ashamed of who we are and what talent we have.

These “would have’s” and “should have’s” of life make you shy away from your true self, pretending to be something more acceptable. Some who experience abuse early on in life never really get to see their authentic self, making it much harder to find.

Looking For Me

Are You Looking For Me?
Are You Looking For Me?

I have been hot on the trail of my authentic self for much of the past two years. It has been a slow and sometimes scary chase. It all began almost two years ago.

When I realized that I didn’t know anything about life, I was not happy, and like many people hadn’t been happy in a long time.

There had been moments of extreme happiness, and I enjoyed people, but the inner feeling of joy escaped me. I had resigned myself to think that this was how you felt in life, empty and bored.

I was waiting for the clock to run out. However, life had other thoughts, and events reminded me that I wasn’t always this way.

Dreams were a vital part of my youth. My imagination guided me in almost every adventure I had every day, and I dreamed of everything from playing for the Red Sox to racing horses.

I believed that everything that I thought of could happen, and it was just a matter of getting a little older for me to do all of those things. That person was my authentic self, the true me. I was gifted with the ability to dream vividly, and it seemed life was determined to make me forget that.

The Cover-Up

cover upOver the years, the feelings of trying to fit in, not rock the boat, and be “normal” made those thoughts move from the front to the back of my mind.

Finally, they were forgotten, neglected, and abandoned as I got older. I was an adult, and there was no place for dreaming in adulthood.

It was like knowing a secret that you couldn’t remember, but you knew it was a good thing, and if you could connect with it, then all would be well.

Life, however, moves in, and the job, the relationships, and the expectations all jump on top of you and push that authentic identity far back into your memory and may never let it out. Like you are asleep and can’t wake up.

Waking Up

wake upI am not unique because I think others have gone through some traumatic events and are shocked by the malaise of life.

I started to remember it piece by piece, and it is still coming back to me. Like waking from a slumber, you begin to experience life differently.

Each of us is born with an authentic self with abilities meant for us alone. Some people are right to them their whole lives, and others never see their authentic selves again.

Most people spend their early life forgetting and the second part of their life trying to remember. It doesn’t matter who you are or what age you are; there is a unique person inside you that is a mere alarm clock ringing from waking up.

Do you know your authentic self?

“Authenticity starts in the heart.” Brian D’Angelo

“Authenticity over everything.” Anonymous

“If you’re your authentic self, you have no competition.” Anonymous

“Don’t trade your authenticity for approval.” Anonymous

“Honesty and authenticity are a big deal for me.” Scarlett Thomas

“Authenticity: The courage to be yourself.” Anonymous

“Be fearlessly authentic.” Anonymous

“Authenticity is magnetic.” Anonymous

 

22

Flying Lessons

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Have you ever felt like you are ready to fly off on a new adventure or to find a new life? Only to see when you get to the point of taking the necessary action to accomplish the goal you desire, you cannot make those steps. Why is this happening? The feeling is of a bird with clipped wings. All of the talents and skills are there, and you know you can fly, but something is lacking. A person clips a bird’s wings to ensure it requires the ability to fly away. It is done by trimming a bird’s primary feathers, known as the “flight feathers.” A bird can’t operate without them and will stay in captivity safely with no ability to explore and fly as it feels needed.

This is the same process we follow in our lives many times. We have a safe, comfortable existence, but we are yearning for more. Only to find we have clipped our wings to remain in the safety of our current life. The positive here is the only limits we face are the ones we create for ourselves, and we can restore our clipped wings at will and fly to whatever destination we choose.

Feel Like Flying?

There is a feeling we all have at times of having clipped wings. Circumstances are working to keep us from flying precisely as we would like, exactly where we want to go. These are the limits we feel. Some are placed on us by our responsibilities to others, and more often, our wings are clipped by our vision of limitation. Each of us has a choice to make in life to remain grounded or caged or make the changes that will allow us to fly.

Most often, though, the limits we face are the ones that are stated in the thoughts we choose to believe, which create invisible bonds to our wrists and shackle us to where we are. But the secret is that they are not real, only imagined, and can be broken, discarded, and left aside anytime we choose. It is fantastic. So often, we experience a desire. For a moment, dream of how great it would be to share it, and then after a brief time, our mind attacks the idea and destroys our will to achieve it with negative comments and all the reasons we can’t possibly do that. That is the voice of your ego, and listening to it will make sure no flight ever happens.

Flight Plans

The ego is not evil. It is a part of you, and we have created it in our lives to protect us from suffering in life or, better, to help us deal with suffering in the best way possible. Any new situation is a threat to you. Of course, there is a potential for pain, but there is also a potential for growth, maturity, and gain as a person and what you can and do contribute to the world. There is a risk involved in any flight you choose to take. Once you dare to take off, there is no limit to where you go and what you can accomplish.

One of the benefits of writing a goal down is it becomes real in a tiny place. Not just a thought in your head, but you created an idea on paper, which is a significant first step. No matter what excuses the mind makes, the written goal is still there to read. And with it is the emotions of thoughts behind it. You want to travel to a destination because you want to see something unique or do something for the first time. Whatever you want to do, it takes courage to follow it and take steps to try.

Beating the Limits

Fear is the primary limit for everybody in everything they do. Fear of failure, what others will think of you, fear of disappointment, or being unsafe. These are just thoughts in your head, which are designed to keep you safe, but life is not intended to be a safe trip. Being safe always leads to little growth and stagnation, and that is no way to live life.

Find your desire for achievement and then strive to follow it. Look into your heart and find the courage to do, act, and take the flight, which is so terrifying to you. You have to surrender to being less than you are or taking a deep breath and seeing if you can fly. Sometimes the flight will come relatively easy, and other times it will take all of our efforts. But the bottom line is you can take that flight. You can heal your clipped wings and leave your “cage” limits behind you, just about any time you want to.

Fly Now!!

Today is the day for you! In some way, take your flight. It doesn’t have to be a three-month flight that changes every aspect of your life at this moment. There is something you have wanted to do in a small way, which you can do right now. Please write it down. Imagine what it would feel like to do that thing. How would your senses react to this thing? Then fly. Take steps to make that thing a reality today. The experience will come, and you can navigate it. One step at a time, stay in the moment and be present at the event. Not the idea of the thing but the thing itself. Let the goal encompass you and permeate into your life. The only person who can clip our wings is us. Take your flight and find your true passion in life.

“When you think about flying, it’s nuts. Here you are at about 40,000 feet, screaming along at 700 miles an hour, and you’re sitting there drinking Diet Pepsi and eating peanuts. It just doesn’t make any sense.” David Letterman

“Flying may not be all plain sailing, but the fun of it is worth the price.” Amelia Earhart

“Sometimes, flying feels too godlike to be attained by man. Sometimes, the world from above seems too beautiful, too wonderful, too distant for human eyes to see . . .” Charles A. Lindbergh

“Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” Douglas Adams

“I don’t fear flying; I have a fear of crashing.” Billy Bob Thornton

 

22

Choose Your Change

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Every day is a new chance to rise!

Sometimes you reach the point where things are just not working in your life. There needs to be a change. The path you follow is dictated at this moment. Good, bad, propitious, right, or wrong, all of these adjectives will be applied to you and your journey depending on the tenor of your choices when change comes knocking. Some people will look at their circumstances and see no choices at all. But there are always choices, and they usually are triggered by the questions we ask ourselves about moving forward. There has to be a fundamental belief that life can be different from what you are experiencing now.

Believe Change is Possible

The first step to initiating change is to believe that it is possible. Many people have been told so many believe in Changelimiting things in their lives, and change seems like a fairytale located in the far reaches of reality. We hear, “You can’t do that.”, “You are wrong for thinking that way.”, “You can’t make a living doing that.”, “Your dreams are unrealistic or impractical.”, or “That is not normal.”.

All of these ideas that we have chosen throughout our lives have provided us with limiting beliefs that have led to painting us into the corner of life we are currently living in. If you are unhappy, it is time to change, and it is going to start with your limiting beliefs. All of them will have as much power as you give them. It may not be easy, but it can be done, and it can be done now, today, here this very second. Change the way you pay attention to your thoughts.

It Can Be Hard To Let Go

One of the funny things about being human is that even though things may be wrong, not enjoyable, hard to changeunhappy, or even downright depressing. We seem to be wired to resist change, to avoid it at all costs. Change is the only real option. The road to change is right in front of us, and we either standstill, refusing to take it, or worse, retreat from it. It exists, and we are moving down that road, like it or not. Change is inevitable and constant.

The devil you know is better than the one you don’t know, and even an attractive change can seem covered in peril. Our beliefs have been guiding us for a long time, and yes, change might be better, but what if…………..they get worse. This feeling is a fear that keeps many people away from changing behaviors that are not making them happy or even causing them harm.

Letting go of these comfortable, all be it, limiting beliefs always seems to start with a question. How can this be better? What can I do to make this better? If I was happy right now, what would it look like?

What Changes am I looking for?

Any journey needs two things, a starting point, and a destination. The starting point is where you are, and the target will change as your understanding, life experiences, and knowledge grows through time.

Hit your target by being clear about your desires.
Hit your target by being clear about your desires.

But it all begins with having the guts to create a goal to reach that destination you want to arrive at. What is it that you want? If you don’t have it right now, something is blocking you from having it. If you are looking for the right relationship and don’t have it, look inside yourself and see what you believe about relationships. Find the opposing points of view you have about love and relationships and recognize them as simply thoughts. They only have the power that you give them. Ask yourself, how can I change this? Why do I think this? LET IT GO!

It is like being in a prison where the doors are unlocked, and all you have to do to leave is push open the doors and walk out. Many stay, though, because it is safe and secure, and you always have the prison to blame for the things you aren’t happy about. It would be costly, and I would be satisfied. I would be in love if it weren’t for these prison walls around me. You are the warden of your prison, and you can walk out. Just choose to follow that change. Some people find all those walls, cells, and bars too safe to leave. Don’t be one of them.

A Time For Action

All things of power need power to fuel them. Your power comes from taking action. Action will eliminate fear. Answers to many questions will rise to the surface of your consciousness. Action will take you from where you are to the described destination. Sitting around, wishing will get you another day living exactly where you are. No house gets built without the action of putting up a frame, pounding nails into boards, and putting on the roof. The blueprints are great, but the act of putting them all together will give you the result you want. Taking action can be difficult, and taking the first action toward a dream can be intimidating. But there is a time for action, and this is it for you.

Make a plan, decide what you want, ask for it, take action to get there, and have confidence that you deserve what will happen. Get rid of limiting beliefs and weak points of view and move forward into a future that is made up of things you want and steps away from the situation that you are currently unhappy with. You are the master of your journey. It is time to start changing, and it is inevitable and constant.

“Do you want to know who you are? Don’t ask. Act! Action will delineate and define you.” ―Thomas Jefferson

“The path to success is to take massive, determined actions.” ―Tony Robbins

“An idea not coupled with action will never get any bigger than the brain cell it occupied.” ―Arnold Glasow

“God provides the wind, but man must raise the sails.” ―St. Augustine

“People may doubt what you say, but they will believe what you do.” ―Lewis Cass

22

Stuck Energy

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 Anything offering resistance will create energy blockages or stuck energy, which also applies to your emotional state. 

It is a battle of wills most days regarding the circumstances we see and the perspective we want to see. Resistance is the refusal to accept or comply with something or attempt to prevent something from happening. Your strength can come from action or argument. Things are not left to unfold as they should because we have a set outcome we would like to see in our heads. When you have this outcome in your mind, all other results are unacceptable and will cause a problem in your reality. It is hard to know what you want, set an intention to get it, and only accept one path to get there. Learning to see our resistance to things is vital to growing as a person. Resistance is futile when it comes to seeing the results of events. They will happen eventually, the way they are meant to be. You can fight against them and dislike the results, or you can learn to enjoy the ride. It is also true in accepting things in life. They may seem like “bad” things at first, but all items can bring good to your life in time. Work with them.

Expectations Limit Us

All of us create expectations. This creation means we believe a specific outcome will be the result we will see. Regardless of whether or not it is realistic, the consequences of situations we are involved in are predetermined in our minds. Any other outcome would cause disappointment, even if it were better than you hoped. Our expectations can limit our happiness and stop us from enjoying the good things coming into our lives.

There is an element of control that exists in our expectations. We try to devise what we see as the best possible outcome and then manipulate the world into that tiny, limited mold of options. But life is neither low nor inadequate, and you can’t possibly know all of the variables and potential outcomes perhaps experienced. You can’t control the Universe as much as you would like to. Not for yourself and certainly not for others. Control is a limitation to what you want; it will create situations where you are blocking good things from entering your life. Learning to let go of the control you wish to see in the outcome of your experience can allow more incredible things than you can imagine to enter your life.

Beliefs Cause Resistance

In our development as people, we create beliefs based on our experience and the information others tell us. These ideas bring us to think that a specific outcome will result from a situation even though there is no substantial proof that this will be the case. In this way, we believe we have the world figured out, and the cause and effect relationship of our lives will lead to the desired future results. In short, if I do x,y, and z, then the result will be fixed and predictable. Wouldn’t it be nice if the world worked like this?

The future is continually changing, and there is no way to predict or control what is coming your way. You may be able to do it once or twice even, but to do it consistently is impossible. Understand that our beliefs can and will change as our experiences in life grow. We are going to move toward becoming our potential. Suppose we are not cut short by our mortality. Being limited in your beliefs will lead to resistance to anything outside of them. Resistance leads to a stoppage in whatever you are trying to create. Work on being fluid in what you believe.

Bottom Line: Resistance=Disappointment

If you choose to be ridged in what you believe and the outcomes you will accept in the flow of life, prepare to be continually disappointed. People cannot consistently control all things and people in the world. Those we are close to needing to make their own decisions and have unique experiences. It isn’t up to us to choose for them. Good, bad, or neutral life’s

The rural scene at sunset

experiences are meant for growth. Let the experiences provide what they will, and don’t develop fixed expectations of what you will accept from them.

Resistance to a particular outcome can only lead to disappointment. Life happens, experiences occur, and we can choose to move with the results, or we can choose to resist them. Our choice will rarely change anything, so energy spent in this way seems to be a waste of time. Although it would be great if we could control things the way we want, life would never be able to teach us anything new, and growth would be impossible.

Accept the flow of things and allow them to happen naturally without resistance from you. Learn to take the lesson and become a more productive person as life experiences teach their classes. It’s up to you if you enjoy the ride or not. Resistance is not only futile, and it is a waste of energy. 

“Resistance is thought transformed into feeling. Change the thought that creates resistance, and there is no more resistance.”

“The mind commands the body, and it obeys. The mind orders itself and meets resistance.”

“What is happiness? The feeling that power increases – that resistance is being overcome.”

“The path of least resistance makes all rivers, and some men, crooked.”

“Fear is only inverted faith: it is faith in evil instead of good.”– Florence Scovel Shinn

 

 

22

Present Every Day

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What if you were present today? What would that look like? 

Every day, we make simple choices to either be present in our experiences or attempt to take our minds to another place and experience something outside of the moment. It is effortless to allow your mind to drift into distractions and never really notice all of the people and things happening in your life right at this moment. Presence is defined as “the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing.” It seems like this would be easy to accomplish at all times, but we have created all sorts of shiny distractions to stop us from experiencing the things in our lives right now.

Smartphones, scrolling social media, video games, and television entertainment on any electronic device keep us in fantasy and stop us from being in the moment. There is nothing wrong with doing this once in a while, but you start to forget who and what you are when it becomes the norm. You are never using the tool of your mind for what it is good at, which is solving problems and creating the best reality possible. Let’s try to get into the present moment.

Distractions

All people have something that distracts them from being present. That is a part of being human. We can go to different places with our minds. It is not necessarily a bad thing to escape; sometimes, imagination can be constructive to create what you want in life. But when the distractions of life cause you not to be present, you are not living the life you have. What are your distractions? Video Games? Movies?Low Vibrational Television? Alcohol? Drugs? Whatever you do to move out of the moment continually is the distraction you choose.

If we are not present at the moment, then we are never able to deal with the issues that cause us pain and suffering in our lives. Distractions work as a pain relief for these things. Making them bearable but never helping you deal with things bothering you, allowing more negative emotions and thoughts into your life. Distractions take your attention away, but those things are always there, waiting for you when the madness ends.

You can practice being present by continually looking at your focus throughout the day. Notice where your thoughts are. Are they drifting off to the past and a happy or sad event from your memory? Are they drifting to a future dream where you have achieved a goal or are doing something you are looking forward to experiencing? Either way, you are not in this moment if you are there. Once you notice you are not in the moment, you are now there. Doing this for an entire day and documenting what distractions are on your mind will allow you to be more present in your life, deal with issues you have, and let your account help solve problems you face.

What Do You Crave?

When you identify with your mind and the thoughts it creates, whatever cravings pop up, you are those cravings. The distraction, the drink, the drugs, the games, the food, or whatever the desires have become who you are. A Craving occurs when your mind seeks fulfillment in external things for you to feel whole. Most people have wounds from their emotions, and our cravings and distractions remove our focus from these things. People desire to be free of worry, care, and pain, but when you allow your desires and cravings to become attachments, you will not be able to experience the joy of just being.

The joy of this moment is natural to experience, but you have to make an effort to get your consciousness involved. Let your thoughts go. They are not going to help. Look at where you are right now and note all the things that are there. The sun, anything that grows, other people, a good cup of coffee, the ability to create, or any of the other things in this moment that you can experience are all there for you. There is no need to become free of all your desires but to become present in the moment. Some moments are more enjoyable than others, but all of them offer you some experience. Too often, we are too distracted by the things we crave. We let the moment pass us by, unnoticed and unappreciated.

Creativity for Health

Being creative is one of the most powerful things we have to bring us into the moment and appreciate our essence and how we can relate to the world. If you don’t create regularly, start. It is a way for your soul to express itself. Write, draw, paint, sculpt, or design. Whatever form of activity allows you to express yourself provides an opportunity to find your purpose and passion in life. When you are into creating something, and your focus is on that, you are in the moment. At this moment, which is all we are ever guaranteed, time seems to stand still or run without noticing. Being creative is a uniquely human experience, and it exists for a reason.

When you create something where only an idea existed, you are setting precedence in your life. If you can make something where nothing once was in one area of your life, you can do it in another. Our creative powers can be developed and should be used to help you take your life into a new area of exploration. In life, we are either growing and changing or moving in the opposite direction. Being present is essential to get the most out of our time on Earth.

There is no need to label the moment as this thing or that thing. Allow the present moment to be what it is. Like you allow your past to be whatever it was, a learning experience. Accept responsibility for it and move on. Let the future be what it is, possibility. Accept where you are, take responsibility for it, and then take action to accept it all as if you chose it. To carry this attitude through a day is an exciting thing because no matter what you face, you want to be responsible for it. Much like the surfer chose to ride the wave rather than be buried by it.

This process of being in the moment starts when you focus your conscious thoughts on the present moment. It will affect the words you choose to speak to others and the actions you ultimately take. Being present is a skill anybody can develop, and it just takes a little peace of mind and thought.

 “Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn’t more complicated than that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.” ~Sylvia Boorstein

 “The best way to capture moments is to pay attention to. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

“In today’s rush, we all overthink — seek too much — want too much — and forget about the joy of just being.” ~Eckhart Tolle

 “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

“When you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu

 

22

Fear or Faith

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It is so easy to get caught up in the whirl of activity, and we can quickly forget these events happening to us are not the things that determine who we are as people. The way we deal with things will define our life experience, and the bulk of the time, we are allowing things to skip by us on autopilot dictating much of our reality to us. Fear of suffering is the prevalent emotion that sneaks into our lives, making us feel anxious about what might happen or even about how other people will perceive things that did happen. The hope is that by looking at life through a lens of faith, fear won’t often win. People are insecure about who they are and will always allow one to hold the person you want to be and what you want to accomplish.

This writing is my look at my struggles with fear and encouragement for all to look past the fear today and develop a mind that is not ruled by emotions and the fear which stems from that. It is not too much to ask yourself to create a mature, honest, respectful, and responsible life. Looking past our fear and living a life of faith is a goal for me and, hopefully, a plan for you.

What is Faith?

Simply put, faith is taking actions or making choices expecting the best possible outcome will result. When you believe whatever results from things will be for the ultimate good of all, you operate from a base of peace of mind. The other option is to work from fear that something will go wrong or that if things don’t work out exactly as you think, it will be a failure. Some people attach themselves to a particular outcome, and when it doesn’t happen that way, anger, disappointment, low self-esteem, or some other emotional response follows.

None of us have a broad perception to see all that might happen or result from a particular situation. Our imaginations are a tool we use to our detriment often. We imagine the worst-case scenarios and things that are not even happening. But we can feel throughout thoughts and imagine how bad they would be if they did exist.

Turning the power to the right side and thinking about what could happen if things worked out even better would be a great act of faith. Too often, we seek something, take action, and then we don’t let it play out as it should. We are so one-dimensional in our thinking we can’t see a more significant way that may be right in front of us and will provide all and more than we hope for. But we don’t see it. Faith to accept things will be working out for the best is the most potent and complex skill to develop in life.

Fear Can Be Pervasive and Powerful

Fear is a subtle working power in our lives. We are not talking about the concern on the surface, fear of heights, snakes, spiders, or whatever phobia you may have. I am talking about the inner fear of not having our needs met or of being harmed on an emotional level. A relationship ends, and we are then afraid of being replaced or alone, that nobody else could love us. The thoughts we choose to entertain about the situation and the emotions that are automatically attached to them cause all kinds of unhealthy behavior. Fear of what others think, fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of everything will at the least make you very unhappy and, in the worst-case scenario, destroy your life.

Remember that fear is a subtle visitor; it comes to you a little bit at a time but is pervasively working to make you continually feel the potential for suffering in the entirety of your life. We look at everything as a threat to what we own, who we love, and even how we live our lives. There is a benefit for the powers that be to keep you in a pervasive and perpetual state of fearfulness. It is easier to control a person who is afraid. People are led to purchase things to “feel better” or feel a certain way about a group of people because of their religion or life choices. The mainstream media and social media sites present images and scenarios people aspire to, and if your life is not up to these standards, you should feel bad about yourself. Faith is rarely mentioned in our lives outside of a religious context, and it should be.

Is Fearless Possible?

To live a life totally without fear is a very daunting task. Eliminating fear is a constant struggle because the more you have that you enjoy in life, the more you have to fear losing it. Your attachments to people and things make you vulnerable to stress. An accessory is a rigid thought pattern about someone or something, and it has to be a certain way or in a specific role for a person to be secure with it. Anything outside of that accepted thought is wrong and painful. Love is accepting and allows others to be themselves. The views we choose to entertain about things will dictate our emotions and reveal that it will work out best if we have an attachment to something or faith.

Let’s face it, you can’t control all of the thoughts that pop into your mind, but you have complete control over how you react to them in all ways. Just because you have an idea in your mind of what may happen doesn’t mean it will happen. Most times, it never does. I know I can be vigilant in seeking to keep fearful things out of my thoughts in my mind. But they still creep in bit by bit. Thought by thought. To live a life totally of faith, believing that whatever happens in life will be something we all desire.

A Life of Faith

The challenge is to live your life through this lens of faith. Which is not easy to do because there are things that have hurt us. We all want to avoid this kind of suffering, but a part of life is to suffer and learn how to deal with it. That is how we know what to pursue and which to get away from.

Not doing something or doing something because of fear will lead to nothing but more suffering and sadness. So it is no choice if you are looking for a way to find a life you love. Understand what you want, and then take action toward those things with faith in your heart, mind, and spirit. This is a life of faith that has a chance to bring all you are looking for in the best manner possible.

“If you are programmed to fear something, you will fear it, even though you consciously think it is ridiculous. It is same as the success and failure.”Benny Zhang

“Are you willing to give up what you have to become what you want to be? Most people fear change and, therefore, never grow past the point of mediocrity.”-Richard A. Franks

“What’s on the other side of fear? Nothing.” –Jamie Foxx 

“Fear of success can be just as crippling as the fear of failure.”- John Allen

“Don’t let your fear of failure stop you from realizing your dreams.” 

 

22

Being Grateful

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gratitude-logoOne of the simple things in life that we all know we should practice gratitude for the things we have in our lives that bring happiness.

It is easy to look at the struggles and challenges of life and forget to see all of the things that make each day a positive experience. One of the best practices is setting aside a time of day to look at the past day and decide what you are grateful for.

Build Your Mindset

MindsetIt is a great time to build your mindset of appreciation for whatever makes your life a little better. It is my practice to write ten things a day that I appreciate, and I try to make 2 or 3 new or original. This practice gets your mind looking for ideas that you might add to the list throughout the day. Seeking gratitude improves your focus to include good thoughts and moves you away from negative thinking and worry.

Open the Door for More

Being grateful and appreciating the positive things in your life opens the door for more of those things to come into your life. A gratitude journal is a reflective moment that will only make you happier and make you feel better about life and the things you experience in it.

Open-the-door-to-moreThe other choice is to complain about everything you don’t like about your experience. That only puts your focus more on those negative things, and of course, more of those things will come into your life. Nobody cares about your complaints; they are your issues. At best, anyone you are complaining to is just looking for an opportunity to share their grievances about why they are unhappy.

Like most things, it comes down to a simple choice that anyone can make. You don’t have to be intellectually superior to be grateful, but you must be smart. It will make your life better and bring more of what you want into your consciousness.

The Power of Thank You

hqdefaultThere is a lot of power in using the words Thank You! It has been clinically proven that if you thank a new acquaintance for anything they do, it makes them more likely to seek to further your relationship. Gratitude makes you physically and mentally healthier, enhances empathy, reduces aggression, improves the quality of your sleep, improves self-esteem, and makes you think more efficiently.

Best of all, there is no downside to the practice at all. Have you ever heard of someone being harmed by being grateful and saying a simple thank you? Of course not. Those two little words make others feel appreciated and open the doorway for more positive creation in your life.

Appreciation Game

A high activity that I read about is the Appreciation Game. When you are feeling angry, upset, or just in a negative mindset, it is because of the thoughts you are choosing to entertain. Our minds are fantastic tools, but they are only tools to be used by us. They are capable of thinking one thought at a time, and you decide the content, tenor, and tone of that thought. So you choose to find things in your life that you appreciate and think about. I understand the weather. I enjoyed my coffee today. It makes life better. I appreciate my spouse. I know the kind thing my kids did. I appreciate my health. I appreciate having money. I appreciate my success. I appreciate my life, etc. It will flip your mindset to the positive side if you let it.

Of course, you can choose to stay mired in the negative for whatever reason you want. Anger, jealousy, and judgment are just different masks of fear. These have something to do with not meeting your needs and some pain coming your way.

The choice is yours, live in fear, or live in gratitude.

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” —Gilbert K. Chesterton

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar

“Learn to be thankful for what you already have while you pursue all that you want.” —Jim Rohn

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” —Oprah Winfrey

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” —William Arthur Ward

 

22

Forgive Them Anyway

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Those we think the most of can be the most difficult to forgive, BUT we must forgive to move forward at last.
`Those we think the most are often the most difficult to forgive, BUT we must forgive to move forward at last.

Forgiveness has been a difficult thing for me at times. Realizing learning to forgive is one of the most important lessons a person can learn. I am continually analyzing why I have difficulty letting some things go and moving forward with life in a more positive way.

For most people who I carried low expectations, forgiveness comes more naturally. We are all learning life lessons when someone I expect more from fails me. I find it extremely difficult to forgive.

The things that other people do or have done hurt you and cause you to experience fear in your life. Fear that you will be harmed in some way or don’t measure up, or worry about what others might think of us. Part of the human condition is to experience pain; it teaches lessons and pushes us in directions that may not be easy to go. But there is a point where we have suffered enough and learned all we can. That is a time to forgive those we perceive to have harmed us. That is when we stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. The act of forgiveness will bring you many benefits.

Loss of Faith

stabbed in the back
The most devastating of these come from someone you trust. You never see it coming.

You come to depend on certain people to be on your side and support you, no matter what. It is a cold lesson to find them acting differently from what you have seen over years of experience. Their hypocrisy is one of the most painful hurts because it is so unexpected, like a sucker punch from the Pope. It hurts twice and is more difficult to forgive because a deeply personal trust has been violated. Someone that you could always count on was now gone. Who or what can you trust if you can no longer trust them?

ultimate forgiveness
I forgive all and carry no grudges about anything.

Forgiveness of the ones you cared about the most is most challenging to grant, but it is essential in the end. Your heart will never fully heal until you give this forgiveness, deserved or not, because your life needs to move forward, and casting off all of the anchors of wrongdoing, actual and perceived, is a must. Forgive and move forward; all people act the way they do because of their individual needs. Those we care about are special for a reason, and even though it is hard, forgiving them is a vital step in living a happy life.

Forgiving Others

We have all had people enter our lives who seem to be there to hurt us. These people have hurt us, taken from us, or caused general suffering in our lives. That is their problem and their karma in life. When we hold onto the act that hurts us, it eats away at our present moment happiness. If you are mad at the thought of that person and what they did to you, it is time to let it go. Time to forgive the people that have hurt you and move forward.

It is difficult to forgive because, in many ways, it feels like you are condoning the behavior that caused you any suffering. That is not the case, you do not accept the inadequate response from another, but forgiveness allows you to put the pain of the situation behind you and take away its control over you. Without the emotional charge you provide, an experience becomes something you can learn from and choose some value from. If only that, it can enhance your current life. Choosing to forgive also gives you power over all people and things in your past. You determine exactly how you feel about them and the emotions you attach to them.

Forgive You

One of the most challenging people to forgive is often ourselves. In life, we are going to make mistakes and misjudgments. We are going through this human experience for the first time, and it will have lessons for you to learn. Too many times, we take the lessons personally and allow them to become a part of our identity. This thought is never the case. A mistake is a mistake. Poor judgment is poor judgment. The wisest person in the world has made hundreds of errors. The difference between you and them is that they have learned the lesson and discarded the vehicle it came in.

You are a unique human being and have nearly unlimited potential to do what you dream of if you get out of your way. The way we talk to ourselves has a lot to do with our energy and the confidence developed in life. Only allow yourself to speak of yourself in the kindest ways. Don’t let your mind entertain thoughts that are derogatory to you in any way. Forgiveness of your past mistakes will make this possible and allow you to be confident in your current actions and build the most positive future possible.

Forgive It All

Whatever it is in life you think has caused your suffering and pain, forgive it. There are going to be things that cause us pain in life. Recognize that most of the pain we have allowed has been self-inflicted. Either we have had expectations of too rigid things, leaving a significant gap between what we expect to happen and reality. All of these gaps are going to be painful things. Forgive the situations and recognize that how we choose to think is the cause of much of our suffering. Changing how we feel about things is something all people can do at this very moment, and changing the way you think about an event will change the emotional attachment you have to it. Freedom from all of your past emotional messes is waiting for you with the simple act of heartfelt forgiveness. There is a power in forgiveness that will enliven your soul. 

“Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.” Desmond Tutu

“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” Bryant H. McGill

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” Bernard Meltzer

“Mistakes are always forgivable if one dares to admit them.”  Bruce Lee

Time to sail on to the future.

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Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Positive Thinking