21

How to Think Positive

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Positive thinkingWhat is Positive Thinking?

Staying balanced in life can be difficult.  Sometimes there seems to be no rhyme or reason why things happen, and dealing with sudden, quick changes entering our reality makes it hard to understand if there is something we should or could be doing better.  In the end, shouldn’t we be happy? Shouldn’t our daily routines and struggles bring us personal satisfaction and make us feel valued as individuals?  I think that it should, and one way to do this is to practice positive thinking. But what exactly does that mean?

In a nutshell, the thoughts you entertain will dictate your reality and the enjoyment or discomfort you experience in each moment. The feeling you give credence will bring a corresponding emotional response, words, and actions into your life. Format your thoughts in a way that the results will be what you want. If you can’t control your mind and thoughts, someone or something else will.

What Positive Thinking Means To Me

We all have programming in our subconscious mind determined by our experiences. It takes our reality and interprets it in a way that makes sense to us and fits into what we know. The thoughts produced from this are automatic and consistent and will dictate everything in our lives. From the amount of success we have, the money we earn, and the love we have in life. Our ability to change these often negative thoughts into more positive ones is our number one weapon in creating the life we dream about every day.

Remember, your experience conditions your subconscious when you look at your past and draw conclusions about your abilities and worthiness. What you believe determines your ceiling of creative ability in your life. Until you choose to change, that choice is positive thinking.  In each moment, you can think in a more constructive and caring way about yourself. The decision to do this will allow you to grow.  From what I have read, most of these conditioning experiences happen early on in life, but all of life’s adventures can add to it.  Learning to recognize and ignore the negative comments from your past is the key to positive thinking to me and the catalyst for growth. 

It’s Not a Cover-Up

We all make choices that we know weren’t good.  I know I have, and in hindsight, I can’t believe how foolish and thoughtless some decisions were.  What was I thinking?  I used to beat myself up all the time about these choices, and they were a part of my daily existence.  A choice is a choice and to learn from the result is the desired experience. If your choice was wrong, forgive yourself. The decision may have hurt someone else, apologize, and ask for forgiveness.

Positive thinking does not mean to forget or overlook these negative/poor choices. It is a way to put them into proper perspective.  Accept that these things happened, then leave them in the past where they belong because no amount of second-guessing, longing, or fantasy replay in your head will change what happened in the past. But if you choose not to learn from it and seek a better future, then you are a fool. Positive thinking is knowing that you have the ability for growth and development.  Pursue it and find questions leading to your growth.  You can control the thoughts you think about any situation and experience. This choice doesn’t mean to sugarcoat things or ignore the negative, but deal with it and see the positives that can come from it.

Find A Positive Thought

positive thinkingI think that there are two schools of thought and emotion. They come from a place of love or a residence of fear. Fear brings hate, doubt, anger, jealousy, resentment, lies, inferiority, and ego. You can imagine that love brings with it peace, understanding, empathy, sympathy,  kindness, hope, truth, and, of course, love.

Positive thinking embraces the thoughts of love and limits the attention you give to the ideas of fear.  This consciousness doesn’t mean that you don’t have them because we all do.  Someone makes you mad or treats you poorly, and the thoughts of fear will arise.  You will always have a choice at this point, let them rule your actions, or recognize them, experience them, and don’t let them rule your actions. You are always in control of your thoughts if you choose to be. It starts with your conscious awareness of what you are thinking and where the view is coming from.  Anger is the open face of fear. It is a natural warning system to let everyone know you are experiencing anxiety on some level. Passion means your needs aren’t being met, or you are afraid they won’t be.

You can manage these thoughts by focusing on theories of understanding, empathy, and love. That is your choice always.

Seek Another Positive Thought

positive thinkingWhen I started to realize that I could entertain whatever thought I wanted, it changed the way I looked at the world and the people in it.  The power of knowing I was in charge of how I felt was a little overwhelming.  It made me want to learn more because experiencing life through this lens was much more fulfilling and enjoyable. Even if a little unnerving.

This learning led to more social experiments, and finding the reaction of others is almost always a mirror of the emotions you show to them.  Strangers smile and are friendly when you extend friendship.  People appreciate you when you show them appreciation.  It is not hard to look at what someone else does and enjoy the thought, time, and talent it took to create whatever it is.  Being positive about life on a surface level is more natural than negative, and it makes the world a better place. Being positive below the surface takes a lot more work, but the results will be a life you truly enjoy and create.

Be Positive About Outcomes

It never ceases to amaze me that when something happens to you, good, bad, or neutral, almost always there is a path, the growth or development in front of you; all you have to do is take it.  I have beat myself up and ridiculed myself for years about decisions in my past, only to realize I was wasting my time because of those things set in motion circumstances that greatly benefited me in the end.  I also realized that those benefits would have never been able to occur in any other way.

When we relax and let events play out, and accept what is happening, we can achieve greatness.  This letting go doesn’t mean we are off the hook on taking action because we always have a choice, and we can act.  Don’t be afraid to respond, but understand that your activity may end up in failure, but that failure may be the step you need to take to reach the highest potential that you have inside you. It can be in creativity, your career, or your relationships.

You Are Great. There is Really Nothing You Can Do About it!

Now it is time to stop blaming yourself for the past.  You made choices, you took your throws, and it didn’t turn out how you hoped.  Accept it, learn from it, and move on to the rest of your life.  You were not put on the Earth to let past programming dictate your ceiling of achievement.  You are here to be great!  Because you know what?  You are fantastic, and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it! It is a matter of adjusting your thoughts to reflect that reality to the world.

Everyone is born with greatness inside of them, and some easily find it.  Some have to work harder because life is full of should haves, would haves, and could haves that will consume your mind.  Regrets shouldn’t happen because I can’t even conceive of the level of greatness inside you.  Only you can let it out.  That is about all anyone can hope for in their life.

Be conscious of your thoughts, pursue the positive about yourself, and counteract the negative, limiting ones. The thoughts you think and react to are all up to you.

 

“You are the only one who can control the way you think. Make sure you nourish the positive thoughts and weed out the negative ones!” Catherine Pulsifer

“In essence, the bulk of our negative self-talk comes from adopting a worldly standard and worldly values as the primary standard through which we filter our thinking.” – John Stange.

“I’ve always believed that you can think positive just as well as you can think negative.” James A. Baldwin

“Over the ensuing years, it was my positive attitude that allowed me to tackle and complete and compete in many diverse assignments.” Catherine Pulsifer

“A major factor in determining how our lives turn out is the way we choose to think. Everything that goes on inside the human mind in the form of thoughts, ideas, and information forms our personal philosophy.” – Jim Rohn.

This song by Stevie Wonder is an excellent guide for positive thinking. Enjoy!

 

How to change thoughts- when one comes up, switch to the other.
I could never do that= I CAN DO THAT
I’m not smart enough= I AM INFINITELY INTELLIGENT, HAVE THE RESOURCES, AND WILL LEARN.
I’ll never be wealthy=I MUST BE WEALTHY!
I’m always sick= I FEEL GREAT
I’m too fat = I WANT TO BE FIT AND HAPPY
I’m unattractive =I AM BEAUTIFUL
I will fail= I’LL DO WHAT IT TAKES TO SUCCEED
I am a loser= I WILL WIN
I can’t be bothered=I AM UNLIMITED ENERGY
I’m too tired= I MUST DEMAND AN ENERGETIC STATE NOW
That’s Really bad= WHAT’S GREAT ABOUT THAT
That’s impossible= ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE
That’s really bad= WHAT IS GREAT ABOUT THIS?
I feel drained= I AM A POWERHOUSE
I can’t = I CAN
Maybe one day= I WILL MAKE THIS DAY
Hopefully= I’M CERTAIN
This is too hard= I LOVE A CHALLENGE
That’s a mistake= THANK YOU FOR THE LEARNING EXPERIENCE
What if …. = IT’S NOT HAPPENING NOW, DON’T WORRY IN ADVANCE
I should have= I DIDN’T, BUT I AM IN CONTROL OF MYSELF NOW, WHICH MEANS I CAN!!
I hate my life=. I LOVE LIFE.
21

Music

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“If I were not a physicist, I would probably be a musician. I often think of music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music.”
― Albert Einstein

How I see music
Music is a language all unto itself, which connects souls.

I have never read a quote that describes my connection to music and this one from Albert Einstein.  For as long as I can remember, there has always been music in my life that had comforted me when I was down, encouraged me in life, and motivated me to achieve things that I have and am accomplishing.

There is something about a song that moves past your meaningless thoughts and into your soul.  It is personal for each of us, and I am sure that not everyone sees music as I do, but I understand and encourage more for those who do.

Music Videos of life

Much like Einstein, many of my daydreams are played along to the music in my life, like personalized music videos in my head. When MTV started to show videos, I thought that it was about time that others saw the music as I do.  (My videos were always better.) That connection is unstoppable, and I have an almost unstoppable urge to hear it again.

So many songs have come into my life that it is difficult to pick a certain style of music that I like more than another.  My generation grew up with what I think is a great variety of music, so I have enjoyed everything from the Beach Boys to Led Zeppelin.

Love My Lyrics

In my young days, I would spend hours listening and thinking about that situation, that girl, that moment, that memory, and enjoy that song.

I had a desire to know the lyrics to every song that I liked. I used to write them down in a notebook so that I could memorize them.  (If only I worked so diligently on my school work)  I compiled hundreds of songs, and in the days before the internet, this was not so easy.

Generally, I would record a song off the radio and then play a line, pause it, write it down and then play, pause and write again until I had the entire lyrics to the song.  Now I laugh at the ease with which I can see the lyrics from any song.  It is much easier than deciphering the mumbling words and phrases of songs from the ’70s and ’80s.

To this day, I would guess I could remember the words to every song that I wrote the lyrics to over 30 years ago.  Is that a talent or a sickness?

Mixed Tapes and Musical OCD

Then as I got a little older, I started making mixed tapes that were not only songs I liked but became the soundtrack to that moment in my life.  I would also give each one a title that explained what was happening at that time in my life.

There were so many of these, which went with relationships, experiences, and people in my past.  The connection was fleeting in one way because those people, relationships, and times are gone, but they are also timeless.

If I hear a song today from that soundtrack, I am immediately transported back to that feeling or emotion I felt so long ago, like a time machine.  Songs that remind me of people are the best because I have been fortunate to have had experiences with so many great people.

Does Anyone See Music Like Me?

As I moved through life, I continued to listen but found that few people saw the music the way that I did, or at least they forgot how to.  I thought that the problem was with me, so I kept my mouth shut and continued listening and singing along.  I didn’t make my own soundtracks then because I thought it was childish.  What stupid things we think sometimes. Music was still there, waiting every time I looked for it.

Now we have the wonders of technology to make music more available than it has ever.

If you told me that I would have an iPod back in 1980, I would have laughed in your face.  I was pretty excited when I got my first walkman.

Surprisingly there are more soundtracks today that define my life than there have ever been before.  I make a new one about every week, and the titles define what is happening.  Or they mention an event that happened around that time.

Much like Einstein, I often think of music. I live my daydreams in music. I see my life in terms of music, and there is nothing wrong with that.  In fact, I wonder how drab life would be without it.

21

The Liar

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Fear Lies

Fear is a Liar
Don’t Listen to fear

In all that we do and all that we try to accomplish, a person must learn to deal with fear.  Fear comes to you through a voice in your head, warning you to be careful how far you stretch yourself, or to watch out for the things you do, the thoughts you think, and the ideas you express.  This voice in your head discourages you and minimizes your efforts and talents, all in the name of safety and comfort.  One of the most freeing things I have learned is that fear is a liar. It lies to you about almost everything, and choosing fear will lessen your experience and stop you from achieving anything of consequence.

Nothing Great without some Risk

Was anything great ever accomplished without some form of risk? Would a man have walked on the moon if they listened to fear? On a personal level, it is no different. When you are considering a new endeavor, hobby, new job, or even thought, there will always be some level of fear to overcome.

What if you fail?   What if you look bad trying? What if people don’t accept what you are doing? What if?  What if???

Is there a more limiting question that fear provides than what if? It is designed solely to limit our willingness to try and to create doubt about our abilities. The lie that fear tells you is that things will go bad if you pursue a dream or a goal. There will be a risk in anything, but taking action is the most important thing we can do. Fear deters action. Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of the acceptance of others is all just limits on your potential. Fear is a liar.

Fear is a Liar to Stop you from Taking Action

Fear is a Liar
Face your fears, and they will disappear

If you make an effort to achieve something, can there really be any failure? Taking action is going to create something. There are no guarantees as to what will be created, but something will result from your action. Taking no action will result in absolutely nothing.

Even if the results are not what you had envisioned initially, the result will belong to you, and the results are a known entity.  When you don’t try, you never know what might have happened, and then the question of “What if…..” takes on a haunting meaning. Once you try something, you know of its validity and viability. There is a chance to adjust your sails and make your action more efficient in whatever you are trying to accomplish. Fear of failure will stop you from taking action and stop your success before getting off the ground.

Take Action Above All Else

So when you hear the voices of fear speaking to you, limiting your actions, learn to ignore it and take action anyway. Each action that you decide to take will lead to creating something that didn’t exist before.

Even if your action results in an initial setback, it still provides you with valuable information that you can use to take a more focused action next. As I see it, the only way a well-focused, thought-out action can be a negative is if you choose never to take action at all.

Fear is a liar whose goal is to limit your potential and lessen the experience you have in life. When you hear the voice of fear in your head, tighten your resolve, push ahead and take action anyway. Greatness will never be found by cowering to fear.

21

Vision

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develop your vision and look for your future.

No matter where you are right now, what you are doing in your daily life, and what challenges you are facing, you have the ability to move out of whatever situation you don’t want to be in.  It starts with developing your vision. Not the day to day ability to see what is in front of you. But the place you want to be in two weeks from now, a month from now, a year from now or five years from now.  The ability to see a future that doesn’t exist yet but could is a gift we all have but most forget about. Think about what your ideal life would look like and then have the courage to build your vision and go get it.

Vision Quest

Native American tribes practiced the tradition of the vision quest, to help guide the development of its community.  The process varied from tribe to tribe but included fasting, prayer and sometimes a vision that would lead to a young man finding his purpose in life.  I think we should all spend time seeking our purpose in life.  We may not be sure what it is but quite often we are absolutely sure what it is not. Our feelings can be a guide for what we want, and a little concentration about them is going to help as well.

Take some time each week and seek your purpose. A person without their purpose is like a rudderless ship on the ocean. You can function just fine, floating around from place to place but you are operating at the will of the elements and outside forces alone.  Your vision can be the rudder to steer the ship of your life to the places you want to go and the experiences you want to have.  Contemplate your purpose on a regular basis, if you never seek it, you probably won’t find it.

Personal Vision Statement

To start moving in the direction of your vision to lead toward your purpose, start to think of a personal vision statement that will be a guiding principle for the course of your journey.  It can be adaptable as you grow but in general, it should lead you toward your purpose.  The details of each individual will, of course, be different but your vision statement will encapsulate the core ideals and values that you want to have present in your life for the next year, two years, five years and on into the future. It will point you in the right direction and provide a guide to where you want to go in life and the experiences you want to experience.  Start by crafting a sentence which is true about the type of journey in life you want to have.  Choose the things that you value and that resonate with you at your core.

These core values are the things we are uncompromising about. Do you want to be rich or poor? Kind or mean? Supportive or selfish? Judgmental or accepting? Whichever path you want to walk it starts with knowing what you stand for or you will have a hard time finding the right trail to follow.  I personally have been blessed with many different experiences in life, each giving to me an experience to make me wiser and understand more about myself. As I create my vision statement for the future, I see there are a few changes ahead of me, but that is alright, I have been through it before and I will survive.

Clear Vision

Developing a clear vision of where you want to go is what today is all about. If you develop a vision and then continually put off the action steps you need to take, who’s fault is it that you aren’t where you want to be yet?  Life is the ultimate in responsibility, we reap what we sow in life and if we take positive action and rely on other people to do things.

Every passing second is a chance to move closer or further away from your vision. See what you want to represent you in the future and get the education, take the chances, give to others, or do what you need to do in order to get to that point. You probably aren’t going to get better by simply thinking the thoughts. Taking the steps will show the path and provide you with clear vision of where to go and how to get there.

“Use your brain, follow your heart.” 

“Life is a divine mission to do something!!”

“It will all work out fine! If you let it!”

 

21

Watching Thoughts

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Inside all of us, there is a constant running dialogue of thought. This thought stream is going on all the time, and we never take a break.   In meditation or just moments of conscious awareness, you can pull back and notice all of these thoughts happening and how they affect you.  Left unchecked, there is no filter, and thoughts can positively and negatively run all over the place.  Each thought that we choose to engage with will dictate feelings felt, spoken words, and action.  It is important to listen to this talk and see where your thoughts are leading you, and then you can consciously pick and choose the thoughts you want to act upon.  The positive and negative experiences in your life are largely under your control by the thoughts you choose to engage with and those you let pass you by. Choose well!

How to Let it Slide

Letting thoughts slide by us is a skill our society doesn’t teach.  When you are conscious of the thoughts being created by you, you can look at each one and determine if it is one to accept, interact with, or investigate further. Or should you just let it slide by and move into the ether of forgetfulness?  The use of simple questions will help you determine how to treat your thoughts.  Where does that come from? Who does this thought belong to? Is it helpful?  Is this good for me or anyone else? 

Ask these questions about all the thoughts you entertain and hear the answers.  Your initial instinct about these things is usually going to be the right one.  Thoughts come from society, people we have contact with, the media, our education, our life experience, basically all things we have experienced in some way have led to the thoughts in our minds.  Where you choose to put your attention determines the emotional tenor of your life. If you are continually unhappy: Look at your thoughts.  If you are happy all the time: Look at your thoughts.

Three thoughts to Avoid

Moving beyond the continual thoughts and move into a more positive existence is to notice and eliminate these three types of thoughts. Notice when you use them and how they affect your general mood.

  1. The need for control- Rather than allowing things to be as they are, you constantly think everything needs your personal approval and guidance to work out how you want.   Trying to control outcomes is building an attachment to one particular outcome. That means that suffering will result if things work out any other way, even if that other way was better than you could have imagined.  Let go of the need to control everything and focus on reacting as your best, highest self to everything.
  2. The need for approval– One of my weaknesses in life is always worrying about what others thought of me.  I have found that first, they don’t think of me very often, and second, the thoughts of others only affect you as much as you let them. When you spend your time doing things you imagine others will approve of, you are not living from your true self.  You are living from a lie created by other people. You more than likely don’t have your best interest at heart.  Notice yourself thinking about how another will react, then do what you know is right, regardless of these imagined thoughts in someone else’s head. You will be living and be acting from your true self.
  3. The need to judge-Thousands of years of evolution and instinct are wrapped up in our thoughts. In years past, our ability to size up a person or a situation was a life or death decision.  Now our mind is thrust into a situation where we allow judgment to define all people we meet. Too tall, too loud, wrong religion, too young, too old, or any other factor a person can use to categorize and usually with negative connotations.  Judgment is the opposite of acceptance. To be accepted, you have to accept others as they are. See these thoughts forming in your head, and in most cases, it is the healthy, kind thing to let them slide on by.  If you run into a knife-wielding maniac, it is good judgment to avoid him. But it is not good judgment to treat everyone like a knife-wielding maniac.  Don’t let your self-talk go crazy.  Recognize the need to judge for what it is.

Thinking well and being aware of thoughts can bring positive things to your life if you know what is happening and listen to the thoughts you say to yourself. Never accept thoughts that are degrading to you or put you down in any way. Only accept thoughts that you would find acceptable to say to another person.  Often we are far harsher with ourselves than we would ever be speaking to someone else.  This is a vital part of learning to care about yourself and appreciate all of the good things you bring to the world. Until you appreciate them, it will be hard for others to see them as well.

In fact, you cannot have a positive, exciting life and a negative mind.
~ Joyce Meyer

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will.
~ Zig Ziglar

If you accept the expectations of others, especially negative ones, you never will change the outcome.
~ Michael Jordan

A bad attitude is the worst thing that can happen to a group of people. It’s infectious.
~ Roger Allan Raby

The only disability in life is a bad attitude.
~ Scott Hamilton

The only people who find what they are looking for in life are the fault finders.
~ Foster’s Law

 

21

Do Unto Others

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golden-ruleYesterday, I was reminded how simple our philosophy of life should be. We should all be treating others based on the way we would like to be treated. If we all followed this behavior pattern, it would easily eliminate many of the world’s problems. However, as we all know, sometimes things get in the way of putting the golden rule into practice. Here are a few explanations and thoughts on making sure that you are following the golden rule and doing your part to make sure the world is a better place.

Don’t Take it Personally.

Everyone at some time in their lives has been faced with someone who treats us less than fairly. These instances can be painful, especially when the person who mistreats us is a friend. Yet the truth of the 6a0105360968fe970b0134800cd908970c-500pimatter is that their choices have very little to do with you and everything to do with them. We are all living our lives through the scope of our own experience.

People with a false sense of self can justify their actions through lies or misconception. To other people, you are just a bit player in the grand play of their lives. So don’t take the poor behavior of another as a reflection of your character and honesty.  You can only control your actions and responses to the situations that you are faced with.  Face them with integrity and caring for others. Let kindness and understanding be your guide, and don’t take the poor behavior of others personally.

Be Proactive

One of the best defenses against the toxic behavior of those who do not treat you well is to be proactive in implementing the golden rule in your life. Each day provides opportunities to practice treating img_7910others as you would like to be treated, with kindness, dignity, and respect. These types of things are completely in your control. Rather than waiting for a situation to present itself to you, seek the situation to provide someone else with the good feeling of being treated well.

These are simple things, acts of kindness that don’t have to cost a penny. Kindness and respect are always good and may do more for someone than you know. The choice between good behavior and poor behavior spreads like the ripples of a stone cast in the water. What will the ripples of your behavior contribute to the world? That is your responsibility.

So All we Can Worry About Is Us.

As you evolve in your life experience, there is only one thing that you can control, and that is your own behavior, thoughts, and feelings about the situations you are faced with in life. We choose how we treat others. Are we too busy? Are we kind? Or do we feel too busy and brush other’s simple needs off to pursue our own? Do we act selfishly? These choices belong to us and are what we will be held responsible for when this journey comes to an end.

Following the golden rule will bring you to a place of peace, but most importantly, it will be a light and example to a world that sorely needs it.

 

21

Carpe Diem

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At what time in your recent past have you felt most passionate and alive?

Carpe Diem Jonathan Hilton
Today is the day.

I have felt most passionate and alive right now, and there is nothing that could top this moment in time until tomorrow!

Many people will look far into the distant past for this answer or maybe dream of a day in the future that might be more perfect, but to me, right here and right now is the place where I feel most passionate and alive.

Get More Passionate Right Now

There is really no other way to be, is there? If you are not passionate and alive today, then it is time to make some changes and get more passionate about the life you are living.  As I am right now looking out the window and seeing the bright light of the early morning start to defeat the darkness of the night, I can only think about the

need a change jonathan hilton
Sometimes we all do!

possibilities that today contains in it.

I can’t wait to find out what is coming.  Is it good? Is it bad? We will see, but the experience of today has never happened before, ever!

It is amazing how many people can just let an opportunity to enjoy life slip past them and treat today like a carbon copy of Tuesday of last week when there is absolutely no such thing.

Enjoying the difference is what allows your life to grow and change in big ways.

Someday never Comes

I think it is a huge mistake to think that it is OK to suffer and be a little unhappy today because tomorrow will be better and bring me what I want, need, or desire.

Tomorrow may never come, and once you start making excuses about chasing your passion, you may do it for the rest of your life, living for the hope that tomorrow you will have the courage to change.

I know that there is no better opportunity than today.  What makes you feel alive is the belief and ability to live your life with the hope that you will achieve your goal and take one small action step that will lead to you finding it.

Choose to Live With Passion

Feeling alive should be a part of every morning because if you aren’t feeling this way or

feeling passionate and alive jonathan hilton
Be like Nike

you find life too much of a drag, and it saps you of the positive feelings life gives you.

If you don’t like how you feel about things, then it is time to stop doing them. Choose to do something else that feels better to you.

This sounds really simplistic, but honestly, ask yourself how often you have chosen to be unhappy, chosen to be dissatisfied, chosen to be afraid, chosen to go with the flow.

Find your passion and choose to follow it, and each day will allow you to feel the most passionate and alive than you have felt in your life.

I know for sure that I have this moment in life to make the best of that I can, whatever that may involve, and that is all I can really be concerned with, yesterday is gone, and I can’t get it back tomorrow may never come.

See a Little Light

 

 

21

Hug

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hug1Why do we hug? What does it mean to people? I was walking through a parking lot the other day and witnessed two young people in the midst of a pretty intense hug. Both were emotional, to the point of tears, and you knew that they were saying goodbye. For a day, a month, or a year I have no idea. But I did realize that I had been a participant in just that kind of hug on several occasions in the past, and I was more than just a little jealous.

Hugging is Caring

If you have noone to hug, pretend
If you have no one to hug, pretend.

How long has it been since I had allowed myself to care so deeply that the thought of being separated from someone would create such a powerful and visceral reaction?  As you age, the fear of pain in life and of being hurt has forced me to start to build walls around these parts of my life. You have experiences that hurt. Build a wall. Disappointment, build a wall.  Frustration, build a wall. Soon all you have around you are walls to protect you. Leaving you as an individual who is most definitely safe but also as certainly alone.

I remember the feelings of saying goodbye and wondering how you will ever survive without the presence of that person in your life. Yet you survive and move forward and convince yourself that the hug was a bad thing and just the precursor of more pain in your life. You learn to never let your barriers down for anyone because it is easier and cleaner than being open and honest with someone.  Feelings are great, but there is risk involved in feeling. Just as easy as you can feel happy and elated, you can also feel unhappy, hurt, let down, or devastated. Never open yourself up for a hug from anyone, and you will never be in jeopardy of being hurt or let down.

It’s Not Too Late To Become A Hugger.

need hugs
If you need a hug, don’t be afraid to ask!

So can you change? Of course, you can when you realize that you miss out on some of the best things that life has to offer, caring and intimacy. I believe we can start to re-learn how to develop intimacy with others by recognizing its power and expressing trust for a relationship and gratitude for the fullness it brings to your life.

As I thought about that hug, I remembered what positive feelings I was having at that moment. It was non-judgmental, caring, nurturing, and joyful for just having been in contact with someone else who brought so much into my life. We tend to forget these things when we get hurt or experience disappointment. Remember the good that another person can bring into your life.

Hug Someone

540_293_resize_20130301_80d213139b4a036a6075746f82d10dba_jpgHow often do you hug the person that you share your life with? Often? Never? Somewhere in between? The act of hugging can show appreciation, love, caring, vulnerability, and acceptance of what someone is. There is no dark side to this. If you are feeling bad, get a hug, and you will feel better. If someone else feels bad, hug them, and they will most often feel better.

How many hugs have you been a part of today? 

21

Begin

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Beginning- the point in time or space at which something starts.

beginning There is nothing as exciting in life as a new beginning.  This is the point that you are embarking on a fresh adventure in some phase of your life and the potential is feeling unlimited.  Sometimes the manner we get to a beginning can be painful, scary, or sad but the opportunity to start something exists in every situation, we have to have the focus, attention, and desire to get started. This can be easier said than done.  Be conscious today of the beginnings that are happening in your life and the lives of those you come in contact with. Put your thoughts, words, and actions into supporting the beginnings that are happening all around you. Recognize the potential that each day brings you to start new and take steps to achieve anything you want to achieve.

Embrace the Beginning

Life moves in cycles. People enter your life, interests are sparked, patterns are established and we follow them as routine.  Routines are the desired result because there is an illusion of control in them. If you can follow the same pattern daily and get the same result, then control seems to be yours. BeginningBut then always and inevitably change enters the picture.  Situations change, new elements are introduced, routines are challenged and destroyed.  The perception of control is destroyed along with it.  To realize that we have very little control over what happens around us, allows one to seek and accept a new beginning quickly and with an open mind.

So your choice when it comes to a beginning is to resist it and cling to what is gone or to run toward it and embrace it completely.  Take steps to understand yourself and how you deal with change. Focus on what good things are going to come from this change. Put the perceived losses away, they don’t matter because there is nothing you can do about them other than learn their lesson.  See the opportunity and embrace it fully and completely, let the past routines of life go.

You Never Know

ThManyeople tend to ignore that life every day has contained within it achievement, happiness, and satisfaction.  There is a path to find them in each and every day, and it all starts by beginning to look for them. Instead, so many Beginningfocus on the fear and lack around them, allowing worry to limit their potential for all the good things they could accomplish and do.  Don’t let your preconceived notions and thoughts limit the magic that each new day brings to you.

If your heart is telling you to try something, why not do it? Choices have power and even poor choices provide a ground for learning and potential for becoming a better person.  All of these stem from the beginning of something and the newness that life has the potential to provide each and every day to each one of us.  No matter how smart you think you are, life is more intelligent. No matter how strong you believe yourself to be, life is stronger. To investigate the paths that life puts before you and see what potential exists on them is the good stuff in life. You will never find what you are looking for if you don’t embrace the beginning.

What are you waiting for?

So there it is, a beginning is awaiting you like the dawn of a sweet summer day, with the potential to find riches, success, failure, or poverty. All will bring lessons and your focus, wits and luck will determine exactly what is going to come your way.  Whether a beginning is ultimately successful or not is going to be determined by you, your mindset, and your willingness to set goals and follow dreams.  So what are you waiting for to start?  To heal? To be more sure? To be even more ready?  Patch it up and begin. See what happens and get started.

Each day we need to have conscious awareness of our power to undertake a new beginning.  It can be professional, relationships, a project, a hobby, a journey, or any other thing you can imagine. Being conscious of the beginnings all around you will move you toward the possibility we are granted to change our situation and start a new adventure. So look at your thoughts, words, and actions and the potential of your new beginnings this day.

“Be willing to be a beginner every single morning.” ― Meister Eckhart

 

21

Show Time

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I once heard it said that each person lives their life as if they are staring at their very own television show. All of the people who are entering your life are there to contribute something to your character’s storyline and the plot of your show. Very little substance would occur on these shows if there weren’t other “cast members” around to prompt the action, emotions, and thoughts.  It is an interesting way to look at your life and the people who are in it. Look at how people have entered your life. Some have been there from the beginning, it seems, and others have been introduced along the way. But all of our cast members are here for a reason, and to notice their contribution is important to understand what you need to learn about yourself in this particular episode of your life.  The cast you have is the cast you need.

The Good Guys

Looking at your life as a show makes you realize all of the different supporting characters that have drifted in and out of your life over the years—each leaving a mark on your existence. The supportive ones are always there in a time of need, and sometimes we have to let them play their role.  As we learn about ourselves and the lessons, they come from those we love, care about, or are friends with. I have often seen people come for a season or two, but a few stick around for the whole run of your show.

Cherish the characters that stick around and share their television show with you. You contribute to them, and they contribute to you. It is a symbiotic relationship. Some of them are family, some are just friends, but all need to be appreciated. Not all shows run smoothly. There is going to be drama, downtimes, and pain. But sticking around through all of that stuff shows how valuable you are to them. All people enter your life for a reason, and usually, it is to teach you something. Some teach you lots, some just one thing. It is valuable stuff, and to value the deliverer as much as the information delivered is a life skill we should work on developing.

The Bad Guys

Bad guys teach good lessons.

Sometimes we need a lesson taught so badly to become our best selves, and life sends us people who play the part of the villain in our little show. They work as our arch enemies. They make us mad, upset, frustrated, and make us wonder why anyone could be so evil. Look at what your greatest rivals force you to do. First, you have to reevaluate all things in your life. To compete and defeat the enemy in your story, you need to get control over yourself.  People hurt us or work from their own self-interest. Most importantly, our well-being is not high on their list of concerns.

We need to embrace these types of folks because it is through them that we see the valuable life lessons. If someone talks badly about you, then they are teaching you a lesson. You get an opportunity to look at what you do not want to be. When you see the destructive path that gossip or negativity creates, you know that is not the energy you want in your life.  How other people act is their karma, and they have to own that. How you act is yours, and you also own that. The bad guys provide a chance for us to develop our positive traits and become the best version of ourselves possible.  Light is never as bright as compared to darkness.

That’s a Wrap

At the end of it all, your show is eventually going to wind down and end when the star of your show slips his Earthly bonds and moves on to the great beyond. It is important to appreciate all the people in your life and their unique contributions to you. Know that all people who enter your life can bring you something good even if they are not good themselves.  There are things to learn every day, examples to see, and experiences to share.  Nothing can be shared if you have no others in your life.

Take a moment now and then and take note of your cast and crew: the good guys and the bad. List them and thank them for their contributions to your story. Understand that you are not only the start of your show but a supporting actor on many other shows as well. How do they look at you? Each day is a chance to define what it is you stand for and the impact you want to have on the world. Choose your character well because that is what the world will see, and it is a choice.

Everybody’s a dreamer, and everybody’s a star………………..

Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Positive Thinking