The human experience is known for bringing a broad mix of experiences to your table. Some are difficult and change you and your perspective from the core. When someone else’s actions hurt you, it can be the most challenging thing to accept and keep moving forward. When you feel someone violated your trust, lied to you, or the way you saw things turned out to be untrue. Pain is the result, and these painful things lead us to question everything about our existence and self-worth.

There are dark days in every life, and it is reasonable to spend some time in self-contemplation about how we live and where we fit into the larger scheme of things. It is in these moments some people lose themselves. Recently finding myself in such a situation makes me remember times when I was lost before and managed to find a way through life’s challenges. We all have choices, and embracing who we are on the inside and looking to express that to the world is the most dramatic and worthwhile direction you can go. I am alive and still kicking and searching for the best expression of myself. Regardless of the value, anyone else sees in me. That is the last year’s lesson, and I am sharing ie with you.

Life Smacks You

I am not telling any of you anything new. We learn young; not everything works out as we hope. We build attachments to how we wish things would go, and circumstances combine to make events something else. Other people make choices and take actions we would rather avoid. We have no control over what other people do. The only thing we can control is our reactions. We can change what we are experiencing, accept them, or leave them. Life has presented a lot of unpleasant into

my life over the past year. It is an easy way to blame someone else. My pain and loss are my faults because I believed the wrong person and accepted someone at face value when they were something other than what they portrayed.

My loss was devastating in a way I hadn’t felt in years, and it served as a reminder to understand other people better. Listen to what others are saying or not saying about who they are and life. People who say selfish things and live selfish lives are probably selfish. People who treat you like they don’t care about you don’t. That should be a notice to get as far away from those people as possible. Life is hard enough when your circle is cheering for you each step of the way, let alone when they have no belief in your value. That is a hard slap of reality because it makes you question your judgment about every aspect of your life. But if you never wonder what you are doing, you will never make the needed changes to become a better person and contribute to the world.

Remember, Life is a Short Game

Once you start to work through the pain of having a dream shattered or the loss of someone valuable to you, there is a tunnel you will emerge out of to find life is still moving along, and the harsh reality is this journey is a relatively short one. You only have a finite amount of time to play your dreams out, so time is not something you want to waste contemplating past regrets. It is what it is, and ruminating over it won’t change it. The people who hurt you have hurt you, and nothing will replace it. Time to move forward and take control of your own life and the things you experience for the rest of your time.

If you let your routines run your life and accept where you are, pretty soon, ten years are going to be gone, and you are going to be left wondering what you might have been able to accomplish if you had taken that chance, tried that thing, sang that song, published that book or just plain old followed that dream. You realize you are still alive and kicking. Where there is life, there is possibility. Exactly what opportunity means depends on your courage to overcome your past pains and attempt to find the best version of yourself. It is there waiting patiently inside of us all.

No Regrets

Take some time today, contemplate what you want to accomplish, and take the chance to make it a part of today. Learn what you need to know, try what you need to try, but most importantly, live your life without fear. Fear will limit your potential and stop you from doing what you want and learning to understand yourself. What makes you feel whole may be something you have never done. The place you feel most at home, maybe somewhere you have never been to.

Each day we have a chance to reset our goals and take the most minor, minute steps toward finding our best selves.   The most significant limit we face is the imaginary line of fear we have drawn around ourselves, which we dare not cross because of what might happen. We know what will happen if you fail to cross the line, nothing. That is the thing that will leave you with a blanket of regret. Years from now, do you want to look back and see all the changes you didn’t take and wonder what you might have accomplished if you just dared to try? Those are the biggest regrets I see in life and the ones I want to avoid. We have great possibilities in our lives. As long as we remember, we are still alive and kicking. Anything can indeed happen.

“Do the thing we fear, and death of fear is certain.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.” —Babe Ruth

“Being brave isn’t the absence of fear. Being brave is having that fear but finding a way through it.” —Bear Grylls

“Nothing is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.” —Marie Curie