Tag Archives: Fear

22

The Essential Lessons

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What We Should Teach

There are many life lessons we will learn

Presented with the opportunity to teach anything I wanted, and assuming that anyone wanted to learn, there is no doubt that I would try to teach a few of the things I have learned from life that I think are important.

 There were many important things that I never considered early on in life, which have proven invaluable and nearly vital knowledge today.

 These lessons may not be mind-blowing, but I think they are essential for you to be all you want to be in life. Whether you believe they have a place in your life or not is up to you.

1. There is Greatness in You

No matter the circumstance of life, each of us has the potential for greatness inside. How that greatness shows itself is different for everyone, but it is nonetheless. The secret is to find your area of expertise and allow it to grow.

greatnessIgnore the limiting thoughts of others. DonDon’tt your own negative self-talk discourage you. Follow the feeling in your heart that tells you quietly and confidently what you should be doing. Know that you are great, and allow it to show. Some of us have hidden our talent for so long that we have forgotten what direction to look or what to look for.

The first step to finding out what your skill set might contain is to start to look for it. Once you do, I have found that things tend to fall together quite naturally to develop and present you with a path to follow.

Before any of that can happen, you have to accept that you have greatness in you with the potential to do whatever you dream of.

2. Love or Fear will rule you.

There are two forces inside each of us, and everything we do comes from them: love or fear. You can choose which one you pay attention to in any situation.

 Love is not just romantic love. That is a tiny part of the entirety of the emotion, and it includes all branches of this positive emotion. Kindness, acceptance, joy, peace, love, humility, empathy, and truth are all things that come from this positive force.

Fear or Love Frame the Phrase Adyashanti Fear is the opposite and leaves its calling cards behind, evil, anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority, and ego. Following these feelings and thoughts will bring more situations to make the same choice. What you think is who you are.

With every situation you encounter throughout life, you will be faced with this simple choice of how you approach it, and your choices will determine what kind of life you experience.

It is important to remember this choice because sometimes you may be in a situation where someone elselse’soice will affect you.

How positive the impact you have in life will, in a nutshell, be boiled down to which of these two opposing forces you align yourself with.

 

3. Gratitude is the Attitude

I do not know if gratitude can be taught or not, but it is vitally important to have a good life. Often, we spend life looking at what we dondon’tve and wondering why.

This thought pattern will only bring more awareness to what you dondon’tve. Since you spend all of your thought on the lack in your life, that is precisely what you will continue to experience.

InspiringsFramedPrintGratitudeBestowsReverenceThe alternative is to focus on what you do have, and even if it isnisn’tch, being genuinely grateful for what you do have will open the door’ for more to come into your life. Since your thoughts are about gratitude and being thankful, the world will find a way to see that you experience more of these things.

Being grateful is recognizing what you have and experiencing some joy about it. Being grateful will allow you to enjoy that thing and experience a feeling of joy surrounding it.

 If you are experiencing joy, even on a small scale, it is hard not to be happy. If you are happy, well, isnisn’tat the purpose of this little game called life? I think it should be, and I am grateful to be able to tell you this.

4. Live in the Present Moment

Speaking of being happy, you must learn how to live in the moment. That means you are aware of and appreciate what is happening in your life. It would seem simple to do, yet very few people do it.

 Distractions take out minds to all sorts of places rather than where we are. You cancan’tjoy today if your mind is lost in yesterday or tomorrow. If you arearen’tesent, then your happiness will evade you.

33214115972027956_gojpenAi_f Look at people walking down the street today; most are focused on anything other than where they are. On the morning commute, almost every eye is looking at their phone or Apple Watch searching for something that is not with them.

The present moment and all that it has to offer is ignored for a fantasy of thought that takes you anywhere, but at the moment, you are actually in.

This is important because if you live your life half aware of what is going on right in front of you, it will be challenging to experience long-lasting happiness. Simply because if your joy is in the past or uncertain future, it is not with you right now.

conclusion

I would include many other lessons in my lesson plans for life, but that will have to wait for another day. I am grateful to all of you who have read to this point! You just made my day! Remember that the end game of life is to be happy. So if you are making decisions or having thoughts and experiences that arearen’trking to that end, you need to change them. You have the power to do this anytime you want, and you have to like it.

 Reflections on the way things used to be…….. lead to knowledge

22

Avoiding the Negative Loop

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This human experience can be confusing. As we try to figure out where we fit in, something changes, and we are left looking for a new equation that will lead to our success, acceptance, and happiness. But we spend time choosing and creating narrow attachments and expectations for the outcomes. If something doesn’t work out just like we think it should, that is bad, and we choose to be unhappy. When I let go of how I think the world should be and accept it, I can also find the good in each moment.

Suffering

Life is going to bring its share of challenges. No person will live for an extended period, having everything go just perfectly. If they did, there would be no opportunity for personal growth or self-development. You would be stagnant, just as you were. It w, and it is like continually being a child with no developing maturity. Suffering comes from the thought that what is happening in your life is not as you think it should be. Something is wrong and needs to be fixed. This can result from any challenge which shakes your reality.

It can be a relatively minor thing, like an annoying co-worker, to a big something like a loved one’s death. The idea you need to fix things because they are wrong will lead you to fear, worry, insecurity, resentment, criticism of others, criticism of yourself, tensions, stress, and all things which lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

What if you didn’t do that?

The alternative is to open your mind and develop a broader vision of life and the things it brings your way. Perhaps the experience you are having, no matter how unsavory or harmful, is precisely what is best for you now. You don’t have to like it, but not wanting something won’t make it go away. Dealing with the present moment will allow you to become better.

Living in the present moment, not worrying about what the future will be, or regretting the past, will allow you to make choices that honor the present and see where true fulfillment comes from. It isn’t attached to the events swirling around your life. A “good thing” here makes you happy. A “bad thing” makes you unhappy. Realizing they are all just things to which you give meaning through your mental conditioning, expectations, and attachments.

Your Power

This doesn’t mean you accept someone treating you poorly; when this occurs, you don’t take it personally as an indictment of your value and see it as a clear issue of the person mistreating you. A loved one’s death is a sad occasion, but feeling bad won’t bring anyone back to life; the reality of the situation is what it is. How you deal with it, move on from it, and see your gratitude for the departed person’s influence on your life will allow you to grow and develop your power despite the loss.

Shift of Perspective

It is not an easy shift, moving your perspective from one of the ego-defined expectations to source-centered acceptance. If a life of fulfillment is your ultimate goal, then some movement in this direction is warranted. It will allow you to not drift to and from happiness to sadness based on the things occurring outside of you. Living like this gives all the power to those things. Never knowing from moment to moment if you will have the rug pulled out from underneath you or not.

Learning to see events as things outside of you and not letting them define your happiness is a rare power. Not identifying with our conditioned expectations, we can approach all situations with an open mind and heart. This will bring on feelings of acceptance, well-being, and ease about the events of your life. They are things that happen, not defining points of your character. In this understanding and practice, one will probably realize that life is, in fact, OK, just as it is. What if our most feared moments are just opportunities to grow?

22

Life Begins Where Fear Ends

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Overcoming fearEvery day, every person in the world, at one level or another, experiences fear in their lives. It is how we deal with our fears that go a long way in determining how we enjoy our lives or slog through them in a haze of day-to-day worry about things that might happen or what another person might think of us.  Will we ever be happy? Will we ever be safe? Will we ever find love? What will tomorrow bring?  All questions we ask on our way to the conclusion of our life generate fear about worry of what we will do if the answer to any of these questions is negative.

Fear can become a pervasive part of your life, but it doesn’t cover you like a blanket. Fear creeps into your life through any insecurity or bad experience. Once inside of you, it grows like a virus, and the more negative you become, the bigger your fear.  There is only one way to defeat it: to recognize it and shine a light on it.  Easy to say and difficult to do, but necessary to become the best version of yourself possible.

Fears Control Us

Fear is our brain warning us about the potential of pain or harm. Often it is based on

overcoming fear
Are you really going to let fear control you?

Experiences that we have had in the past. It is driven by your ego and determines your behavior and actions in all situations, from job performance to dating. Fear is there pushing you. From the time we are children, we have to deal with our fears. Monsters in the closet, the dark, or heights are examples. But fear is just a thought in your mind you are paying too much attention to.

Most fears are no more real than the tooth fairy, and the pain they can cause is all self-induced. Thoughts in the mind that are sending warnings to us that might be or might not be real. The danger is real, it can hurt you, but fear can’t; it is only the thought of the pain that may or may not ever occur. This fear stops you from putting yourself fully out there into life. Life is going to happen; if you spend your time in fear of the worst-case scenarios, then you will never act bravely, try something new or be your own unique self. Soon you will be overcoming fear.

Living Fearless Overcoming Fear

This is the part that is so difficult because, as humans, we are conditioned to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Yet to get the latter, we often have to endure some of the overcoming fearformer. This is the way that life works. There will be a certain level of risk involved in attempting to achieve any goal. That is what makes it valuable. Assume the risk of being hurt to achieve greatness. If you should fail, the pain is the price of trying again, and as in all things, you are left with a choice. To move forward, try again, or stay still and let the fear of future pain discourage your efforts.

Every dream in the history of humanity was achieved with the risk of pain attached to it. Most involved some failure and doubt along the way until the goal was achieved. Only the perseverance of the individual involved allowed anything to be achieved. They were no different from you. You will be tested to think, experience, find, discover, and grow on your journey. Most great things aren’t going to be easy because the journey’s difficulty is what provides their value. Don’t let the fear of a temporary setback cause a permanent roadblock to your dreams.

“Life begins where fear ends.” Osho~Overcoming Fear

 

22

Fear or Faith

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It is so easy to get caught up in the whirl of activity, and we can quickly forget these events happening to us are not the things that determine who we are as people. The way we deal with things will define our life experience, and the bulk of the time, we are allowing things to skip by us on autopilot dictating much of our reality to us. Fear of suffering is the prevalent emotion that sneaks into our lives, making us feel anxious about what might happen or even about how other people will perceive things that did happen. The hope is that by looking at life through a lens of faith, fear won’t often win. People are insecure about who they are and will always allow one to hold the person you want to be and what you want to accomplish.

This writing is my look at my struggles with fear and encouragement for all to look past the fear today and develop a mind that is not ruled by emotions and the fear which stems from that. It is not too much to ask yourself to create a mature, honest, respectful, and responsible life. Looking past our fear and living a life of faith is a goal for me and, hopefully, a plan for you.

What is Faith?

Simply put, faith is taking actions or making choices expecting the best possible outcome will result. When you believe whatever results from things will be for the ultimate good of all, you operate from a base of peace of mind. The other option is to work from fear that something will go wrong or that if things don’t work out exactly as you think, it will be a failure. Some people attach themselves to a particular outcome, and when it doesn’t happen that way, anger, disappointment, low self-esteem, or some other emotional response follows.

None of us have a broad perception to see all that might happen or result from a particular situation. Our imaginations are a tool we use to our detriment often. We imagine the worst-case scenarios and things that are not even happening. But we can feel throughout thoughts and imagine how bad they would be if they did exist.

Turning the power to the right side and thinking about what could happen if things worked out even better would be a great act of faith. Too often, we seek something, take action, and then we don’t let it play out as it should. We are so one-dimensional in our thinking we can’t see a more significant way that may be right in front of us and will provide all and more than we hope for. But we don’t see it. Faith to accept things will be working out for the best is the most potent and complex skill to develop in life.

Fear Can Be Pervasive and Powerful

Fear is a subtle working power in our lives. We are not talking about the concern on the surface, fear of heights, snakes, spiders, or whatever phobia you may have. I am talking about the inner fear of not having our needs met or of being harmed on an emotional level. A relationship ends, and we are then afraid of being replaced or alone, that nobody else could love us. The thoughts we choose to entertain about the situation and the emotions that are automatically attached to them cause all kinds of unhealthy behavior. Fear of what others think, fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of everything will at the least make you very unhappy and, in the worst-case scenario, destroy your life.

Remember that fear is a subtle visitor; it comes to you a little bit at a time but is pervasively working to make you continually feel the potential for suffering in the entirety of your life. We look at everything as a threat to what we own, who we love, and even how we live our lives. There is a benefit for the powers that be to keep you in a pervasive and perpetual state of fearfulness. It is easier to control a person who is afraid. People are led to purchase things to “feel better” or feel a certain way about a group of people because of their religion or life choices. The mainstream media and social media sites present images and scenarios people aspire to, and if your life is not up to these standards, you should feel bad about yourself. Faith is rarely mentioned in our lives outside of a religious context, and it should be.

Is Fearless Possible?

To live a life totally without fear is a very daunting task. Eliminating fear is a constant struggle because the more you have that you enjoy in life, the more you have to fear losing it. Your attachments to people and things make you vulnerable to stress. An accessory is a rigid thought pattern about someone or something, and it has to be a certain way or in a specific role for a person to be secure with it. Anything outside of that accepted thought is wrong and painful. Love is accepting and allows others to be themselves. The views we choose to entertain about things will dictate our emotions and reveal that it will work out best if we have an attachment to something or faith.

Let’s face it, you can’t control all of the thoughts that pop into your mind, but you have complete control over how you react to them in all ways. Just because you have an idea in your mind of what may happen doesn’t mean it will happen. Most times, it never does. I know I can be vigilant in seeking to keep fearful things out of my thoughts in my mind. But they still creep in bit by bit. Thought by thought. To live a life totally of faith, believing that whatever happens in life will be something we all desire.

A Life of Faith

The challenge is to live your life through this lens of faith. Which is not easy to do because there are things that have hurt us. We all want to avoid this kind of suffering, but a part of life is to suffer and learn how to deal with it. That is how we know what to pursue and which to get away from.

Not doing something or doing something because of fear will lead to nothing but more suffering and sadness. So it is no choice if you are looking for a way to find a life you love. Understand what you want, and then take action toward those things with faith in your heart, mind, and spirit. This is a life of faith that has a chance to bring all you are looking for in the best manner possible.

“If you are programmed to fear something, you will fear it, even though you consciously think it is ridiculous. It is same as the success and failure.”Benny Zhang

“Are you willing to give up what you have to become what you want to be? Most people fear change and, therefore, never grow past the point of mediocrity.”-Richard A. Franks

“What’s on the other side of fear? Nothing.” –Jamie Foxx 

“Fear of success can be just as crippling as the fear of failure.”- John Allen

“Don’t let your fear of failure stop you from realizing your dreams.” 

 

22

Being Grateful

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gratitude-logoOne of the simple things in life that we all know we should practice gratitude for the things we have in our lives that bring happiness.

It is easy to look at the struggles and challenges of life and forget to see all of the things that make each day a positive experience. One of the best practices is setting aside a time of day to look at the past day and decide what you are grateful for.

Build Your Mindset

MindsetIt is a great time to build your mindset of appreciation for whatever makes your life a little better. It is my practice to write ten things a day that I appreciate, and I try to make 2 or 3 new or original. This practice gets your mind looking for ideas that you might add to the list throughout the day. Seeking gratitude improves your focus to include good thoughts and moves you away from negative thinking and worry.

Open the Door for More

Being grateful and appreciating the positive things in your life opens the door for more of those things to come into your life. A gratitude journal is a reflective moment that will only make you happier and make you feel better about life and the things you experience in it.

Open-the-door-to-moreThe other choice is to complain about everything you don’t like about your experience. That only puts your focus more on those negative things, and of course, more of those things will come into your life. Nobody cares about your complaints; they are your issues. At best, anyone you are complaining to is just looking for an opportunity to share their grievances about why they are unhappy.

Like most things, it comes down to a simple choice that anyone can make. You don’t have to be intellectually superior to be grateful, but you must be smart. It will make your life better and bring more of what you want into your consciousness.

The Power of Thank You

hqdefaultThere is a lot of power in using the words Thank You! It has been clinically proven that if you thank a new acquaintance for anything they do, it makes them more likely to seek to further your relationship. Gratitude makes you physically and mentally healthier, enhances empathy, reduces aggression, improves the quality of your sleep, improves self-esteem, and makes you think more efficiently.

Best of all, there is no downside to the practice at all. Have you ever heard of someone being harmed by being grateful and saying a simple thank you? Of course not. Those two little words make others feel appreciated and open the doorway for more positive creation in your life.

Appreciation Game

A high activity that I read about is the Appreciation Game. When you are feeling angry, upset, or just in a negative mindset, it is because of the thoughts you are choosing to entertain. Our minds are fantastic tools, but they are only tools to be used by us. They are capable of thinking one thought at a time, and you decide the content, tenor, and tone of that thought. So you choose to find things in your life that you appreciate and think about. I understand the weather. I enjoyed my coffee today. It makes life better. I appreciate my spouse. I know the kind thing my kids did. I appreciate my health. I appreciate having money. I appreciate my success. I appreciate my life, etc. It will flip your mindset to the positive side if you let it.

Of course, you can choose to stay mired in the negative for whatever reason you want. Anger, jealousy, and judgment are just different masks of fear. These have something to do with not meeting your needs and some pain coming your way.

The choice is yours, live in fear, or live in gratitude.

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” —Gilbert K. Chesterton

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar

“Learn to be thankful for what you already have while you pursue all that you want.” —Jim Rohn

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” —Oprah Winfrey

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” —William Arthur Ward

 

22

Hear Your Fear

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Fear– an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

It is often believed that hate is the opposite of love, but that isn’t true. Fear is the opposite of love. Fear is an emotion that stems from beliefs that a situation will cause pain. All things are a choice between love and Fear. To try something you have a passion for, or not give it a go because you are afraid of failure or looking silly or not perfect. The most significant blocks to achievement are the thoughts of Fear, and the purpose of this post is to raise your consciousness about your fears and what they are stopping you from enjoying, accomplishing, or believing.

It all begins by being aware of your thoughts of Fear. They stem from beliefs you have accepted in your mind as undeniably true. They lead to emotions of Fear, words of Fear, and actions based on Fear. You can turn all of it around because Fear is just a thought that you can disregard as quickly as it can be accepted. That is our challenge today. Please find what you are afraid of and then learn how to overcome it. Simple task, right? Afraid not!!

Kinder Self-Talk is the First Step

There is a voice in our minds that talks to us continually. It suggests judges, states, encourages, or discourages us in all situations we face in life. The tenor of that voice has a lot to do with the level of self-esteem we enjoy. If that voice is kind, encouraging, and supportive, then your confidence will be higher, and Fear will be less of a problem. If that voice is negative, discouraging, worried, or judgmental, Fear will have an easy time controlling you. But it can all change.

Our ways don’t exist in stone. Changing the tone of our inner dialogue can happen just by becoming aware of the sound and choosing to change it. Notice how you speak to yourself when you see yourself in a mirror, when you face a challenge or when you think of those you care about. If that voice is negative, recognize it, and refuse to accept it. If you don’t expect yourself to be kind to yourself, it isn’t easy to assume that treatment from others. You are a unique human being with a wellspring of potential to do all sorts of things. See it, make a choice, and pursue it. The self-esteem you accept from yourself will determine your success more often than not. Don’t fear yourself.

Face Your Fear

As children, many are afraid of darkness at night. It is a thought of what might be hiding in the dark that scared us. Once we turned on the light, those fears were eventually let go. There was no monster under the bed, but there is always one in your head. That monster is Fear. That monster is there to tell you: “You can’t do that!” “You will look stupid!” “You have no talent in that area.”, “You will fail!” or any other negative comment you can think of. This hurdle is the monster of Fear in your head, and it is all just a thought.

The cure for Fear is to turn the light of experience on it. Once you shine a light on that Fear, it will lose its power, and you can move past it. So facing Fear is decisive for your confidence and self-esteem. Understanding the difference between danger and anxiety is essential. Danger can hurt you, and it is natural, tangible, and needs to be taken with precaution. Fear is the thought of things that might or might not happen ever. Shine a light on your Fear by facing them. Understanding that this can be very difficult to do, confidence rises inside that will help you meet and overcome more significant fears once it is done. Once the mindset is created that Fear is just a thought, and you can overcome it, what can stop you from doing anything?

Never Fear Mistakes

I have learned in life that people will make choices that lead to pain and suffering of one sort or another. These are viewed as mistakes in hindsight. But are they? All options cause actions, and these actions lead to results. How you weigh them is a point of view. Good, bad, tremendous, or horrible. It is the value you assign to the experience that gives it its value. As a society, we have been conditioned to fear making a mistake.

In school, we were graced by the number of mistakes we made and labeled by our school because of them. If a person never tried anything new and only stuck to what they mastered, they would never make mistakes, and they would never evolve or grow either. To truly learn, a person has to throw their whole self into the process. Create a theory, try it out, evaluate your results, adjust your opinion until you find success. Mistakes are a part of learning, and to fear them is unnatural. The more you shine a light on errors, the more you will see them for what they are, opportunities.

Nothing to Fear But Fear Itself

One of the most powerful, simple, and actual lines Franklin Roosevelt ever spoke. Fear is the only thing we have to fear in life. It was expressed at the time of the great depression when people were panicking in Fear that the country would collapse. It wasn’t what was happening that scared everybody, and it was the thought about what might happen that hurt them.

This practice is the way it is in life. If you are in a situation, you deal with it. You handle it. It may not be pleasant, but you will live. Then the thought about that thing happening again is the thing that haunts you. Your imagination is excellent at making up dark fantasies about bad things happening. The idea is these are not real, and the Fear of them is being afraid of a thought. It is fearful of Fear itself. Don’t let the fear of what might happen run your life and make decisions for you.

Fear Factor

Take a moment today, look at what scares you, and ask yourself why? Is it the danger of the situation, or are you letting an irrational thought get the best of you? Evaluate all of your dreams on their fear factor. Is there a real danger here, or is it a fear of what might happen? Look at your physical reaction to this emotionally. Look at the things that you want to say because of it. Observe how your actions are affected by it. This is becoming conscious of how Fear affects you and is, in effect, shining your light on the monsters under your bed. Taking action is always the cure for Fear.

“If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself, but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment.”- Marcus Aurelius

“Fear is the main source of superstition, and one of the main sources of cruelty. To Conquer Fear is the beginning of wisdom.”-Bertrand Russell

“Fears are educated into us, and can if we wish, be educated out.”-Karl Augustus Menninger

 

22

Factors In My Fear

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One of the most influential factors in the lives of all people is Fear. It comes to us in various ways and affects what goals we set, what actions we take, our thoughts, and how we interact with other people. The factor of Fear touches almost every moment of our lives. It makes you wonder how we all became so afraid. Fear comes in many different forms to influence us, unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, and even phobia. These are the faces of Fear that people face and are influenced by every day. The thing to remember is that most of these are not tangible things. There isn’t a real and present danger that will cause you harm. No, these are fears based on something that might happen in the future, perhaps. If they do, I will suffer, making me nervous, anxious, worried, tense, etc. So we live our lives based on something that is just a thought that is not happening now. You can counteract feelings of Fear with thoughts of love, which starts with you, in your mind.

The Present Moment

It is also very peculiar that there is no room for fear when people are faced with things in the present moment. You can be worried about whatever you want, but when faced with that experience in the here and now, most people react without a doubt. They do what must be done, one step at a time. There is no room for fear or anxiety because you are dealing with the problem head-on, and you know the answers to any questioning thoughts you may contain in your head. Later, after the trauma is over, your mind can create wild replays of an incident and create new fears. This thought is post-traumatic stress. The event dominates your thoughts with what-if scenarios, and if that could happen, what about this?

Look at your thoughts, and all of our fearful ones are based on the potential for suffering and avoiding it. We are all scared of monsters in our closets, we all have different closets, but the Fear is the same. I will be hurt, and I want to avoid that at all costs. Try to focus on the thought that we can always deal with the present moment, but we have difficulty coping with things that are a projection of the mind. Because our minds can make up scenarios that make us feel helpless, and that is the scariest thing at all. The future is challenging to deal with as a projection because there is no honest answer to counteract the perceived pain experience. What is this pain?

Our Fears

What exactly are we afraid of?

*One is a fear of loss, that something we care about will be taken away from us. If you have nothing, you have nothing to lose, and it is the loss of things we have that frightens us. If you have love, rather than enjoying it, we destroy it with a fear of losing it.

*Another major fear is a fear of failure. To me, this is a significant impediment to developing to your fullest potential. When you try something new, you will either succeed or fail. Either way, you will learn something valuable that will lead to your ultimate growth and fulfilling your potential. Too often, we let our fear of failure stop us from trying something, and we are defeated before we begin. It isn’t the failure that scares us, and it is what others think the loss says about us.

*Fear of being hurt is another one. I think suffering is one of the parts of this human experience that we need to be conscious of. Of course, we don’t want to experience pain. It is not a good thing. But the pain has a purpose. It tells you that something is wrong and that problem needs to be addressed one way or another. It directs action and forces us to do something. When the pain is happening, most people are not afraid. After the experience of the pain, we are fearful of being hurt again. We remember the experience and, of course, would like to avoid it in the future. The problem is when you let your fear of being hurt stop you from living that you are living in Fear.

**Fear of death is the real problem we have mentally, that this physical journey will end at some point. You have to come to peace with our impending mutual doom at some point. But some people take it to the extreme and need to be right in every argument to defend a mental position they have identified with. To lose the debate is the mind having its sense of self threatened with destruction. If you are wrong about something you believe wholeheartedly, what else could you have been wrong about? Once you realize the mind is not you, it is possible to step back and see that right or wrong makes no difference. You can know what you believe and speak it firmly and clearly.

Shine a Light

Fears will disappear when you shine a light on them. The view of consciousness will eliminate all of your Fear of thought. Hold what scares you in your mind and focus on why it is so frightening to you. Follow the emotion back to its origin, and you will see most of the things we fear have humble origins early in life. They are often punctuated through our experience, but they start in our youth. If you have a fear of trusting someone and being hurt, it began when you were small, and it has probably been plaguing you throughout your adult life. Shining a light on this issue and realizing that there are people you can trust, and often it is your thought pattern that leads to a situation of suffering.

Spend some time documenting and honestly examining your fears. Find their origin and understand that they are just your mind projecting an image that doesn’t exist. The light of knowledge and understanding of yourself will bring courage.

“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” —Helen Keller

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” —Henry Ford

“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” —Rosa Parks

“Fears are nothing more than a state of mind.” —Napoleon Hill

“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” —Nelson Mandela

 

22

Life Challenges

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highwireIt is fantastic that life continually puts you into situations that challenge and change you. It is also eye-opening that I continue to be surprised by this. Yet here I am, looking at what I want to create, standing on the precipice of going for it and tentatively cringing.

It is not rare, I think, for people to feel this way. When you look at most people, they have put their real goals and dreams aside to accept living in a rut of consistency and security that life provides. Safe is the choice, but we still have ideas that we are not acting on. Today I am looking to move and am encouraging you to come with me.

See Your Fear

We should be good friends with fear by now in life. It has been a constant our entire lives. How we have reacted to it has changed through our life, but still, it is always there knocking at the door of your thoughts with those two little limiting words…………… What if?

I could attempt my dream, but what if……….

….it doesn’t work?

……….I fail?

……………………I look stupid?

………………………….., the world laughs at me?

…………………………………………….I am not good enough? etc., etc., etc.

These are the seeds of doubt, driven by fear that paralyze us into taking no action at all toward what we want to be. The only difference between those who achieve their dreams and those who do not is a willingness to take action and see what happens.

If it doesn’t work? You will gain experience and knowledge to allow it to work the next time. If you fail, then you learn and know. Joy and freedom are the results of bettering yourself and reaching your dreams. This effort is never wasted. Not growing the talent inside of you and seeing what you can do would be a waste of energy.

What if the world laughs? The world won’t laugh. The world will continue to exist, much as it did before, with the single exception that someone living there has provided their unique contribution, and now it is a slightly better place.

What if you are not good enough? A leftover doubt from childhood and time to get rid of this fear. Why wouldn’t you be good enough? If you can conceive of a thing, you can create that thing. If others don’t accept it, then that is their problem. The beauty of the building isn’t any less.

So on this thoughtful day, let us choose to evaluate who we are, see where we would like to be on a personal, financial, physical, and spiritual level, and then be brave enough to take those first tentative steps toward those goals.

The only way to know if you can cross that high wire is to try and see if you make it to the other side.

“Believe in your dreams, no matter how impossible they seem.” Walt Disney

“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.” Arthur Ashe

“The biggest adventure you can take is to live the life of your dreams.” Oprah

“Our truest life is when we are in dreams awake.” Henry David Thoreau

“We may place blame, give reasons, and even have excuses, but in the end, it is an act of cowardice to not follow your dreams.” Steve Maraboli

 

22

Forget the Judgement

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What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

For much of my life, I spent a lot of time worrying about what others thought about what I did to the point that I often would not do things I wanted because I was afraid of what others might think. That fear stopped me from doing silly, inconsequential, and big things alike. I would see a picture of people judging me and thinking poorly of me in my head.

When the thoughts in my head worried about the ideas in others, the results were a constant fear of showing my true self. There was a chance that someone might not like what I would be doing.

The problem with this thought pattern is that you are never actually able just to be you. People put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect, which is impossible to achieve. I have put most of this thought pattern behind me, which I now notice.

Doing What I Want

judgment defines you not others
Look inward before You Judge Someone and their behavior.

There is an impression that this question builds in your mind that if you were released from the disturbing thoughts of society, you would suddenly do things that were totally out of character. But I think that doing all of the things that are part of my personality without worrying about what anyone else thinks is the fun of life.

I am a thinker, and I enjoy reading and thinking and then writing my thoughts about what I learn and contemplate. I want the cafe’ and getting to know people. I like working out every day and not apologizing for the length of my workouts. All of these things I do and do not do any of them for the sake of what someone else might think would make my life unhappy. You have to be your best, and I like that person.

Truth about Freedom

The truth about freedom is I like the freedom to be myself and say, I don’t care about the judgments of others, but that has just meant that I can do the things I like to do without worry. These things haven’t changed much at all, but the perception I have of these activities and how others perceive them has. If someone has a problem with the way I live and my choices have a problem with themselves.

So I will read and learn about life and delve into why people are the way they are. If you read this site, you will see I share my thoughts freely and encourage a conscious positive vibe in everyone.    I will share my feelings if you ask. I don’t care if you agree because a challenge is an opportunity to teach and learn. All thoughts should be challenged so that they stand up as truths. If they don’t, you will move a step closer to finding the truth. So I haven’t started dressing differently or acting a whole lot differently, I don’t care what anyone else thinks about how I dress or how I work, and it feels fantastic.

now be yourself
Who else could you possibly be?

There are things I do now that I might not have had the courage to do before, and each one I recognize as a step forward, although I think for many people, they would be pretty small steps indeed.

Normal?

One of the most significant things that have arisen from this change of thought is that I judge others much less. I try not to judge at all. I have learned to appreciate the differences that each individual brings to the world, and the vibrant contrast allows for a broad spectrum of color in life. It is a much more exciting canvas that I see painted in front of me. I wouldn’t say I like the things everybody does, but I try to accept them as their choices, not mine. I’ll worry about my thoughts, words, and actions and let others worry about theirs.

This wide variety can be scary to some, but we should embrace it. Just as you accept each person for their unique ability, so will you be recognized as special and beautiful. I think there is a misconception that a “normal” state exists when the real normal is that you should be who you are and that, my friend, is good enough.

Some Quotes on Not Caring what others think

“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ― Virginia Woolf “

A dame that knows the ropes isn’t likely to get tied up.” ― Mae West

“You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” ― Richard P. Feynman

“Care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner.”—Lao Tzu

“Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ― Tyra Banks

“If being an egomaniac means I believe in what I do and in my art or music, then in that respect you can call me that… I believe in what I do, and I’ll say it.” ― John Lennon

“I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.” ― Michel de Montaigne

“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”— Dr. Seuss

“Doubt kills more dreams than failure ever will. “― Suzy Kassem

“Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions, their lives a mimicry, their passions a quotation.”— Oscar Wilde

22

Don’t Care What You Think

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caring-what-others-think-2One of the most common blocks people face in accomplishing their goals is worrying about what others think of your choices, behaviors, or talents. How often have you stopped doing something because you didn’t want to look foolish or be ridiculed by someone else?

This is a limiting thought that can be easily changed if you start to focus on what you are doing and forget what others might be thinking about it. You will enjoy life a whole lot more and find success as well. There are several simple reasons that this is true.

Most Don’t Think Of You Anyway.

The criticism we imagine is mainly located solely in our imaginations. People are too involved in their drama of life to pay attention to your decisions for the most part. Want to start a business? Do it and if someone confronts you with questions, tell them you appreciate their point of view and 93b9bf6a5497b9a255bd83a522d3bd78move on with your plan.

We come by this fear naturally. As young people, we find that learning to fit in with the crowd’s expectations makes sense. We don’t get picked on, and life is much more comfortable. But there is a point where successful people put fear aside and worry about how they feel and what they are doing rather than the often misguided judgments of others. I know that it is the fear of what someone might think that has stopped me. Not even the honest thoughts of a person but my thoughts about what I thought they might be. It seems silly to carry fear for someone else’s feelings.

A Reflection on Them

dont-worry-dr-seussIf they are thinking something negative about you, there is a problem with them, not a problem with you. So many people are stuck in their choices that they see their limitations when they see someone trying something different or reaching for success. This is not a pretty sight, so many critics will shoot you down to avoid looking at their failure. If everyone is mired in mediocrity, they won’t feel bad about their inability to pursue their dream.

Anyone who criticizes someone else for seeking to improve themselves in any way is showing their own limiting beliefs. All people choose what they stand for, and being a limiting influence on anyone is letting fear dictate your behavior. What if you fail? What if they fail? What if they look funny? What if…….. These words can haunt an empty life. So what if you fail? You will learn, and learning those lessons may be the missing piece you need to achieve your dreams.

Don’t Play Small

The moral here is not to play the small game that suits you. How do I know? There is something in ALT_8.16.13you that is great and waiting to come out and contribute to the world. The lessons that you will learn along the way will help steer you toward your best self. Honestly, do you think you were put here on this Earth not to succeed? Of course, you were made for success, and letting what someone else might think stop you from doing what you want is playing at your most minor. Play the big game that you were meant to represent.

The world is full of critics who are generally unhappy people who have decided not to find their purpose. The internet is a whole of negative people who seek out the creative work of others only to write negative comments about it and diminish them. These people should get all the attention they deserve, none at all. Ignore the naysayers and feel sorry for them. They are stuck playing a game of ego and separation. They need your kindness more than anyone else.

“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ― Virginia Woolf

“You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” ― Richard P. Feynman

“Care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner.”—Lao Tzu

“I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.” ― Michel de Montaigne