Tag Archives: fear is just a thought

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Let’s Shine a Light

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Overcoming toxic fear- brave
Dive Into Your Life……Fearlessly

All of us must know at a basic level that fear is bad. I am not thinking of the basic fear of heights, snakes, or public speaking. Even though the roots of those are located in one of the three fears, which cause us to think negatively and bring negative energy to our lives. To eliminate the toxicity of fear, it is essential to learn how to recognize it and the emotions attached to it and destroy it in our lives. It sounds straightforward, but you know it is anything but simple if you know fear as I do. Let’s look at these three fears, how they arise, and how to eliminate them. Imagine living a life free of fear. What could you accomplish that you haven’t? What things in life would flow better and more efficiently? I didn’t invent these fears, but I have had in-depth experience with them. Let’s shine a light on them.

Fear of the Future

If everyone is honest, they will admit to entertaining the thought of fear about tomorrow’s future. It is easy because we all have hopes and dreams for what will come. But we also have experienced pain because we have attachments to specific outcomes that didn’t happen. It is a constant game of what if and worries. What if the car breaks down? What if they leave? What if I get sick? The list of potential problems is nearly infinite, and your mind will play this game a lot because it is a trick to think if you consider all of the difficulties you might face, you will never be disappointed when tragedy does come your way.

The problem is you are creating anxiety where none needs to exist. Challenges will come your way, and you will deal with them as they come. The actions you will need to take will become apparent as required. To eliminate these fears, the best technique is to maintain a sense of mindfulness and be in the moment right now. Right now is the only moment you are guaranteed. Live there and let tomorrow bring its things. That doesn’t mean you don’t plan, we all do the best we can in this area, but it also means you don’t put all of your energy into fearing what might happen tomorrow or next week. Be grateful for the things you have in your life right now at this moment. Live today and dismiss the fear of tomorrow.

Fear of Rejection

This fear also exists in everyone; some people deal with it much better than others. We have all been in a situation we haven’t gotten what we wanted in life, had a relationship end, or lost a job or something else that mattered to us. This is rejection, and that can be a harrowing experience. It is so painful that we will create a life where we don’t put ourselves in that position again. We will limit ourselves and the people we are close to, ensuring we don’t find that pain again. But that is fear, and fear is toxic and will limit you in all ways.

To face these fears is to understand the pain inside will happen occasionally, and you don’t want to go out and seek it, but you can’t live a life of limit to avoid it either. I have spent years in limiting situations because I was afraid of rejection. It stems from your experience and the programming you have had in life. Something that happened when you were very young can hold a place in you, creating fear of being rejected by someone. Divorce often has this effect on children. We all rationally know it isn’t the child’s fault, but it feels like rejection for sure to the child. Face your fear of pain and jump back in with an open heart and a clear mind. It isn’t easy because there is always going to be a chance you will be hurt. And pain is still………..well, painful. But life is about living, and pain is a part of that. Fear stops you from living. Focus on today and not what has happened in the past and accept new things and people and be grateful for them.

Fear of Failure

We have been conditioned in our lives to fear failure. It is a word that has become synonymous with lessening your ability and a result to be avoided at all costs. Look at our educational system: you pass and are great or fail, and you are not so wonderful. If you have never done something and are trying to figure it out, you will not experience success right away, more than likely. But if you continue to work, take the lessons from your first attempt, and put them into your efforts the next time. You eventually will bring your goal into reality. But a fear of failure stops many from even attempting.

It would be quite a world to put the fear of failure behind us and try things we are interested in without being labeled. When a young person tries and doesn’t do things quite right, it is essential to encourage and not chastise them. See the effort and encourage them to try again. All great things are created through the action of experiencing “failure” and applying what you learn. If others discouraged you as a child, it is up to you now to choose how you respond to a challenge today. Some don’t step out of what they know they can do, and others jump into the challenge. Funny that once you face the fear of failure, you realize how valuable those experiences are to you and your learning. Try without attachment and be open to the feedback experience gives you; you can do anything.

Fear Not

Many fears branch off these three toxic fears, but you can overcome them by learning to recognize when you are afraid. Fear is a feeling of danger and exists to maintain your well-being. It moves you away from physical danger and keeps you safe. When this perception of risk is irrational and mental, you need to shine a light on it, and you will find the fear holding you back is nothing but a misguided thought. The thought you are supporting the things you believe about life. Change your thoughts, and you will find these three toxic fears can be lessened or even eliminated from your life. Start by consciously looking at how you approach things. Please point out the fear, and notice it in your mind. Understand it isn’t you. A simple change in thought can eliminate it. This is not an easy process, but it is simple, and anyone can do it. You can do it if you try, and the result will be a life of limitless possibility.

Quotes on Fear:

“Is it useful to feel fear because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless because nasty events will occur whether you are frightened or not?”– Lemony Snicket

“Many times, the thought of fear itself is greater than what it is we fear.”– Idowu Koyenikan

“Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”– Dan Brown

“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our fears.” – Rudyard Kipling

“One great enemy we must all endeavor to fear, not conquer, is fear. Fear can cripple purpose and purposeful life. Fear asks questions we must fear. Fear makes vision a nightmare. One must always cross the barrier of fear to get to the great city of true purposefulness. A great number of us who are unable to live to accomplish the true reason for our existence on earth are unable to cross the barrier of fear in the first place.”– Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

“The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”– Gandhi

 

22

Life Begins Where Fear Ends

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Overcoming fearEvery day, every person in the world, at one level or another, experiences fear in their lives. It is how we deal with our fears that go a long way in determining how we enjoy our lives or slog through them in a haze of day-to-day worry about things that might happen or what another person might think of us.  Will we ever be happy? Will we ever be safe? Will we ever find love? What will tomorrow bring?  All questions we ask on our way to the conclusion of our life generate fear about worry of what we will do if the answer to any of these questions is negative.

Fear can become a pervasive part of your life, but it doesn’t cover you like a blanket. Fear creeps into your life through any insecurity or bad experience. Once inside of you, it grows like a virus, and the more negative you become, the bigger your fear.  There is only one way to defeat it: to recognize it and shine a light on it.  Easy to say and difficult to do, but necessary to become the best version of yourself possible.

Fears Control Us

Fear is our brain warning us about the potential of pain or harm. Often it is based on

overcoming fear
Are you really going to let fear control you?

Experiences that we have had in the past. It is driven by your ego and determines your behavior and actions in all situations, from job performance to dating. Fear is there pushing you. From the time we are children, we have to deal with our fears. Monsters in the closet, the dark, or heights are examples. But fear is just a thought in your mind you are paying too much attention to.

Most fears are no more real than the tooth fairy, and the pain they can cause is all self-induced. Thoughts in the mind that are sending warnings to us that might be or might not be real. The danger is real, it can hurt you, but fear can’t; it is only the thought of the pain that may or may not ever occur. This fear stops you from putting yourself fully out there into life. Life is going to happen; if you spend your time in fear of the worst-case scenarios, then you will never act bravely, try something new or be your own unique self. Soon you will be overcoming fear.

Living Fearless Overcoming Fear

This is the part that is so difficult because, as humans, we are conditioned to avoid pain and seek pleasure. Yet to get the latter, we often have to endure some of the overcoming fearformer. This is the way that life works. There will be a certain level of risk involved in attempting to achieve any goal. That is what makes it valuable. Assume the risk of being hurt to achieve greatness. If you should fail, the pain is the price of trying again, and as in all things, you are left with a choice. To move forward, try again, or stay still and let the fear of future pain discourage your efforts.

Every dream in the history of humanity was achieved with the risk of pain attached to it. Most involved some failure and doubt along the way until the goal was achieved. Only the perseverance of the individual involved allowed anything to be achieved. They were no different from you. You will be tested to think, experience, find, discover, and grow on your journey. Most great things aren’t going to be easy because the journey’s difficulty is what provides their value. Don’t let the fear of a temporary setback cause a permanent roadblock to your dreams.

“Life begins where fear ends.” Osho~Overcoming Fear

 

21

Fears

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Moving past our fears
Everyone Experiences Fear

So you have a goal in mind, and you feel it just might be your passion. It is right there in front of you like the low-hanging fruit on a tree. All you have to do is reach out and pluck it, and it is yours.

Yet you don’t reach. You stand or sit and watch the fruit as it hangs there, tantalizing your senses.  It is often fear that stops us from following our passions, and for me, I have often found fear to be a huge barrier to doing what I want.  What is it that I am afraid of?

What If I Fail?

I think that we all have this fear in our minds to some degree.  Being successful is ingrained into our consciousness from the first days we begin school.  So failure is looked at as something undesirable. Our education system teaches this as a rote fact.

Yet when you analyze it, really, it is just one of the many possible outcomes of trying.  All great discoveries and people became geniuses to the world as they stood on the heap that was Moving Past the Feartheir previous failure.  Failure is not fatal; it isn’t even detrimental to accomplishment.  So often, we need one more piece of the puzzle to reach a new height, and you can often learn what that is through the experience of failure.

Sometimes we fail, but the choice of how you deal with that is always up to you.  You can quit, roll up in the fetal position, and rock slowly, asking yourself: Why? Or you can analyze the failure and see the shortcomings of whatever you have done, correct them, and try again and again if necessary.

I have been paralyzed by fear before, and in hindsight, it always makes you feel foolish.  Find the encouragement you need to keep going, your friends, your family in the books you read, or whatever you come in contact with daily.  Don’t let this fear stop you. Fear is nothing but a thought. You don’t have to pay attention to it.

What If I Succeed?

As strange as it sounds, I have been hurt by a fear of success.  How can I be afraid of

moving past failure
Moving past failure

succeeding?  Well, surely you have not met me.  The human mind seems to be great at creating problems where none really exist.  My mind is an expert at this.

Perhaps it is the egoic ramblings of my conscious mind that worries that if things go too well for me, something bad will clearly be followed soon.  This fear of Karmic retribution can sometimes make you want to keep things as “even Stephen” as possible.  Never reaching too high to avoid falling to a scary low that perhaps you might not want to experience.

This is the worst of all fear because it is stopping you from reaching your limits.  All of us will have experiences in life, and one of them should be reaching our potential in any given area of interest, especially if it is doing something that we are passionate about.

Put this fear to bed by understanding that life is full of ups and downs, and no matter what you do, no matter how even-keeled you try to stay, there will still be setbacks.  Being great at something will not result in a punishment later unless you choose to create one. Fear is only a thought in your mind that you choose to pay attention to.

What Will Everyone Say?

For me, this is the biggest fear there is.  Perhaps it was a childhood weakness, or maybe it was high school trauma, but for whatever reason, I have been deathly afraid of what other.

Moving Past the Fear
What do they think about me?

People might think of my actions.

The foolishness of this fear really jumps out at me as I write these words because the only person who is hurt by this type of phobia is definitely me.  Let me share my anti-fear recipe here.  First of all, what other people think is their problem, not mine.

Secondly, any bad thoughts that someone has about you are often due to their own inadequacies and fear, not yours. Other people are always mirroring into your soul. What you see in others often exists within you.

Thirdly, what you think they think is most often not accurate anyway.  This is because it is most often my ego that produces these thoughts of someone else.  Really they are your own perceived weaknesses projected onto someone else.  When you think about it that way, you can see it makes no sense to be afraid.  Fear is a thought in your mind.

Escaping Fear

In the end, the scary thing is that we all are going to face fear, and it is most likely going to happen every day, whether we like it or not.  It is in how we deal with the presence of fear that our lives will be defined.  Will I shrink from the negative thoughts that fear creates? Or will I rise above it and start to pay attention to more positive forces in life.

I think most people who can achieve their dreams can look fear in the eye, recognize it for what it is, and move on with their actions anyway, which take them to the finish line.  Fear is nothing more than a thought, and that is it.

Fear is not a real tangible thing unless we allow it to become that through our inaction.