Tag Archives: Fear

21

The Unknown

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face the unknown
Be grateful for What is Currently Unknown.

All of us have a deep desire to know what will happen next.  Where are we going? What is the next step? What should I do now?

Sometimes it seems like it would be much easier if our lives were scripted in a book that we could read beforehand.  Follow the script, and you will eventually come to your happy ending, and everything will be alright for all situations.  That is just not the way that life works, and I, for one, am understanding of it and most grateful for it.  Face the new experiences of life and bravely embrace the unknown. You don’t have any other choice, and you have made your choices, which have put you where you are. Be responsible and own your situation, regardless of the fear and the unknown.

Don’t Fear What You Don’t Know.

I have found the unknown to be very undesirable on a few occasions. First, when things are going just wonderfully.  When you look around and think, “Wow, I overcome your fear of the unknownam so happy right now.”

This attitude is a problem because if I feel on top of the world, I have the built-in fear that there is no place to go but down.  Since that is the case, I tried not to get too happy for many years because it could be taken away.  I never realized that happiness is not extrinsic from myself; it is inside.  I have had experiences that were fun, happy, wonderful, and I never wanted them to end.  I also have experienced scary, uncomfortable, painful, and sad things.  In the past, I thought that my happiness couldn’t exist in the presence of something terrible.  I found that my joy depends not on what happens to me but on how I look at the world from the inside.  We are not in control of many things outside of ourselves, but we are in total control over how we handle them.

I know many people who have everything they should need in the world.  A healthy relationship, money, family, you name it.  Yet they choose to be unhappy, which I can’t understand.  I also know people who seem to have very little but are extremely happy.  It takes me to a quote I heard, warning you to be careful when you find something that makes you happy because it can be taken away from you.   Happiness comes from within you.  So if you accept whatever happens as the experience that it is, sad things make you feel sadness for a time, but your happiness is not at the whim of fate.  It appears or strays according to your own choices.

Let go of your fear of the unkownLet Go

People do all sorts of things to make it seem like they control life.  We create strict schedules for our days and manipulate people and events to control outcomes.  These things never seem to work out in the end as we would like.

Often, the things we do to control life shield us from new and exciting experiences, and when it comes to business manipulating others leads to a poor working environment. Letting go of the need to control everything and understanding that it is impossible to do anyway is a step in a positive direction. You are just one person in the world with your thoughts, insights, and needs. Let others have theirs. You can only control your reaction to events as they unfold.

Make your plans to the best of your ability and allow things to unfold. The people you are with may surprise you with much more than you ever thought possible. Or perhaps with much less than you would hope. But either way, there is a lesson in it for you.

Not Knowing Lets You Grow

Being grateful for the things you don’t know is intelligent because it allows you to experience something beyond your scope of reality.   Most people would never stretch themselves beyond what they already know if they didn’t have to.

It is very comfortable to sit in your life, where you seem to know everything you need to be safe and feel in control.  Yet, there is the world out there that may require you to stretch outside of that comfort zone to contribute what you are meant to give to its well-being.  The Unknown Provides this.  Once a new experience comes to you, you have to experience growth to deal with it regardless of its nature.  If you stop growing, you will be moving in the other direction.  Nobody stays the same.

I choose to accept the unknown of each day as a part of life that was sent to teach me what I need to know to grow.   So today, I am grateful for the things I don’t know and hope I dare to deal with them as the experience of life unfolds.

Don’t let fear run your life. Be the captain of your destiny. 

“The unknown always passes for the marvelous.” Anonymous

“Replace the fear of the unknown with curiosity.” Anonymous

“Sometimes, you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere, you find yourself.” Anonymous

“Going into the unknown is how you expand what is known.” Julien Smith

“We do not fear the unknown. We fear what we project onto the unknown.” Teal Swan

“A hero is somebody who voluntarily walks into the unknown.” Tom Hanks

“Awaken your mind to the unknown.” ATGW

 

21

Emotional

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Through this human experience, we are inundated daily with all sorts of emotions.  Emotions are defined as: “a natural instinctive state of mind deriving from one’s circumstances, mood, or relationships with others.” They are our feelings, and unless you learn how to deal with them, they will deal with you.

These are things we face every moment of every day, but very few people look at what their emotions mean or, more importantly, what they are trying to communicate to us.  Emotions control much of what we do and how we relate to others in our lives. Take a moment and investigate how your feelings are affecting your daily existence.  Why are they so important? Where do they come from? How can we deal with them more helpfully? These answers will help you function more truly and honestly in your life.  You will cease to be at the mercy of the seemingly random appearance of your emotions because you will know where they come from.   You are not your emotions of love or anger or fear; how you react to them makes you who you are.

Why Emotions Are Important

Our emotions come from our thoughts, and most often, our thoughts are a reaction to the experience we are having or, more often, to experiences we had in the past. As we experience our daily lives, situations arise which stimulate thoughts. We have a complete memory bank of skills. When something happening now reminds us of something from the past, emotions are triggered, like a warning about suffering or pleasure from history that we might repeat shortly.  Anger, for example, is the face of fear. We get angry when thoughts that might not meet our needs are front and center in our minds. Many people get into the habit of using anger as a default to getting what they want, getting mad any time anyone challenges them, or not going exactly the way they want. These emotional responses are not healthy because, over time, anger takes its toll on your body, and more significantly, your relationships. Nobody wants to spend quality time with a ticking time bomb.

Our emotions tell us things that words can’t articulate, and learning to decipher these feelings rather than react mindlessly to them gives us a chance to be better and create healthier relationships. Start to look at your emotions pragmatically, from the perspective of, where did this come from? What is it you are feeling, and why do you feel this way right now? Every thought comes complete with a corresponding emotional response. Emotions are important because they are away. We communicate with the world and ourselves.  To ignore or suppress your feelings is a good recipe for poor mental and physical health. What is inside of you and how you feel will eventually come to the surface. You can decide if it is through a gentle investigation of how you think or an explosion of emotional steam after weeks, months, or years of psychological repression. Take care of your emotions, and they will take care of you. Listen to them, and they will provide you with a direction of where you need to go.

Watching Emotions

Rather than let your emotions dictate your words, actions, and life experience, the moment you feel them, take a minute and allow yourself to feel what you are feeling. Our bodies are excellent because they think the stimulus from outside is like hot and cold, but also feel an incentive that comes from inside, like happy or sad. Rather than being controlled by your emotions, take a second and let it be there. The sentiment is a feeling or response, and you can sit back and observe it. What is causing it? What is the stimulus of this thing? It could be a link to some experience from your childhood, which is irrelevant today. When you can observe the emotion, you are no longer part of that response. You are separate from it.

Doing this successfully will allow you to investigate what is going on inside of you at that moment.  Watch the thoughts you are thinking, which have the emotion attached.  Watch your inner world unfold and ask questions about the genesis of your emotional responses. Doing this will allow you to understand yourself better and relate to the world and those in it.  Being effective at this will allow you the chance to become more in charge of your emotional health. Although you will never be able to control your emotions, you can understand how to work with them healthily and use the information they are sending you. Rather than just reacting in a mindless, subconscious way.  It takes time and effort to do this, but it will give you a better understanding of yourself and others when you become better at this.

Documenting Your Emotions

To start to practice this, you need to take some simple action. Start by documenting your emotions. Look back at your day and write down when you had an intense emotional response. Notice these feelings and how they affected you. Then follow it to its roots. What was the situation? What was said? Who was there? What were you thinking? Which of your thoughts are tied to which emotional response? All of this information is available to you every day and in all situations. You have to be willing to investigate, document, and get to know yourself in the emotional realm.  Each time you put your emotions down on paper, you will build a more reliable connection with yourself, where you came from, and what it is that you need to deal with. Negative emotions are dangerous to your health, and of course, your relationships, and to be at their mercy makes you a reactor to life.

When you know which situations or thoughts lead you to love, fear, sadness, happiness, or any other emotion, then you are in control of things. Isn’t anxiety a response to thoughts that create fear? Look for the ideas that put you in a negative emotional state and shine a light on them. Explore them. Understand them. Like a monster under the bed, a little light will reveal that you are spending your time entertaining unnecessary thoughts of fear. There is a freedom that comes from understanding yourself in all facets because understanding and knowledge are always the keys to power, and in this case, it is your power.

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”-Horace Walpole.

“Your emotions are the slaves to your thoughts, and you are the slave to your emotions.”-Elizabeth Gilbert.

“We all live at the mercy of our emotions. Our emotions influence and shape our desires, thoughts, and behaviors and above all our destiny.”-Dr. T.P.Chia

 

21

Karma,Karma

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Karma– the sum of a person’s actions in this existence, is viewed as deciding their future fate.

Karma
“Life is a boomerang. What you give, you get.” ~ Dale Carnegie

We are all in control of the energy we give to the world each day. It begins with the thoughts we decide to pay attention to in our minds. These become the words that we speak and the actions we perform. These things determine what we give to and get back from life. Like a boomerang the energy, you decide to send out will come back to you, always, inevitably, and usually with interest. That’s Karma. You control the power in your life by the thoughts you entertain, which lead to emotions, words, and actions. These things determine your karma. Are you conscious of them in your life today?

Give, and You will Receive

One of the fundamental paradoxes of life is that when you give, you receive in return. This fact can be a problem when you look at what you have and think that you need so many things for yourself. You don’t see a way that you can give, but it is there. Giving is the path to receiving and

karma
You are open to receiving

giving with an open heart when you provide, and giving spirit is critical. Try to develop the attitude of giving without worrying about what the return is. The performance will be high.

It is a positive energy to give and goes against the worry of lack that plagues most people. Fear that we will not have our needs met and will have to go without something. But what exactly are we going to go without? An extra coffee each day? It doesn’t even take a lot to get this energy working for you, give a little with no expectation of return and see what you get. Be conscious of your experience and what results from your choices. It will surprise you. Karma always will. Good or bad.

Kindness Also Comes Back

The same is valid for compassion. When you practice acts of kindness for others, then you will experience elephant kindnessgoodness in return. The act of practicing kindness will make you more aware of the good things around you. Service costs nothing and maybe the most valuable something you can produce. Giving it away is good karma.

The alternative is to act with selfishness, and to be self-centered is to attract negative things into your life. Again, when you contact people who are sending attitudes of lack, look at your thoughts and actions first before you condemn them. You may find the problem exists in your thoughts and consequent actions. It may just be your kindness that can help turn the lives of others around.

What You Give You Get

So this rule is valid for everything, and with everything, there is a choice for you to make. If you choose to

Try giving some of these
Try giving some of these

steal, you will be the victim of theft. So in effect, you are stealing from yourself, which makes no sense. If you lie, others will lie to you. If you take people for granted, then you will be, in turn, taken for granted. Whichever choices you make will be revisited in your life and usually with a more significant payback.

We are all energy at the core, and our actions determine the charge of power we produce, and the results come back into our life. Our energy controls what we attract. The truth of what you think and do is the living example your life will be. Look at your choices, look at the results, and see the relationship between your options and the experiences you are having. Look at your experiences and see that the thoughts you believe nobody else can know are being revisited on you.

You can experiment by practicing something specific in your life and then be aware of the results. I encourage you to start with a positive thought rather than a negative, but we all make our own choices and determine the overall tenor of our lives through them.

You consciously choose the energy you will experience in your life by the thoughts you entertain. Where focus goes, energy flows. The corresponding emotions those thoughts elicit, the words they bring from your mouth, and the actions you take because of them. You are driving your “karma train” today. What type of trip is it going to be?

“Life is a boomerang. What you give, you get.” ~ Dale Carnegie

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Wayne Dyer

“The law is simple. Every experience is repeated or suffered until you experience it properly.” – Ben Okri

Karma: It’s Not About What We Do

Karma

The Theory of Karma

5 Ways Karma Affects Your Life

 

 

21

Defining Fear

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In all lives, there are two forces always fighting for control, fear and love. What is fear really but the thoughts about things that will cause us to suffer? We all deal with these thoughts to some degree. Some people who are consciously aware of the moment are not affected very much because they avoid the two traps of fear. At the same time, those who do not contemplate their thoughts and see the moment are ruled by fear and all of its cynical cousins, judgment, anger, selfishness, and a lack of empathy. Look at yourself today and see where fear is sitting in your consciousness. Is it front and center, or have you conquered it and placed it safely in a cage in the back of your mind. Remember, we all feel fear at some point; the key to life is how we deal with it.

Fearful History

There are two ways that fear enters into your thoughts and pervades your feelings and actions. One is when we think of bad things that have happened in the past—remembering painful experiences from earlier days in our life experience. When you feel fear and have a conscious awareness of it, many try to push it away, bury it deep in ourselves and not deal with it. For a while, that can work, but eventually, it will pop out when you least expect it, outside of your control. The original episode of fear could have happened when you were five years old, or 30 years old, when the concern arises rather than pushing it down, invite it to stay.

Look at your fear and face it back to its origin. Something occurred, which caused you to suffer. It could have been a lack of care, a break in trust, a physical or psychological pain that you have pushed down and never dealt with before. Let the fear enter your mind, get to know it, and face it head-on. Investigate them. Where did they come from to visit you? Accept them and forgive those who might have caused the suffering, including yourself. The past is over and dead, and nothing can change what has happened. Letting it control your experience right now is a waste of time and effort. Face the fears of the past, allow them to exist, and leave you alone.

Future Fear

Fears’ other big weapon is the future. Unlike the past, the end has not happened yet and is wide open to possibilities. Fear and worry rob you of your freedom as you live your life hiding from problems created inside the fertile walls of your imagination. Your imagination is a powerful tool, it can guide you to great things, or it can paralyze you and rob you of your potential. Worry and fear of the future is a misuse of your most powerful tool of imagination. Creating scenarios that will lead to suffering but never really existed. These worries will stop people from following their dreams and doing what they want because fear says they might look foolish, or not someone else might think poorly of them.

Fighting your imagination is a tricky thing, but it works similarly to facing your past. Embrace the fears and follow them to their source. Fear of abandonment, loss, being alone, or the biggest one of all, dying. All people fear something. Learning to deal with it actively, embrace it, and face your fear will take you to its source. Conscious awareness of your concerns and their origins will free you to use your valuable imagination for good in your life. In your imagination, great things reside, which once thought we could bring into reality. They are creating the best future for yourself and the world you can. Only when we conquer our fear and move forward.

Society of Fear

We are inundated with messages of fear continually in our community. If you watch the “news” from a significant network, their job is to create fear in your mind. It is not to keep you informed because they choose what you hear and how the message is presented. People who are afraid are easy to control and manipulate. Don’t allow others to control you with fear. Live in the moment. Are you in danger at this moment? If not, then don’t let fear move you to stereotype or label anyone else as an immigrant, Russian, Korean, or anything else. People are people just like you with worries and desires all on their own. To see anything else is a manipulation of the facts.

We are inundated with images of the perfect physical body, or the perfect home, perfect marriage, perfect relationship, perfect this or perfect that. Perfection is impossible, and feeling fear about not measuring up is delusional. Looking inside yourself and being the person you were meant to be is most important. Put the fear of what others think of you or how you measure up to the fake standard of our society. Be the best you that you can that is good enough for everyone.

Finally

To lessen the impact fear has on your life, invite it to the surface of your life. Look at it and analyze it rather than push it way down inside of yourself. Shine the light of reason on it, and it will cease to be fearful to you. We all have fear in many areas of life because we want to avoid pain. Pain is going to come when it comes; often, its anticipation is worse than the actual situation itself. Face your fear with courage and thought, seeing its origins, and you will rise above it.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”― Plato.

“Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.” ― Robert Louis Stevenson.

“Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more so that we may fear less.”
― Marie Curie

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”― Franklin D. Roosevelt.

21

Emotional

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How does an event or situation make you feel?

Research indicates when people are feeling physical pain, general malaise, and chronic weariness, the cause can be linked to unexpressed emotion.  As a society, and primarily as men, we don’t learn how to adequately express our feelings or even notice the message they are trying to send us.

Uncomfortable or painful experiences are often pushed to the back burner of our minds because it is more comfortable at the moment to ignore rather than deal with the feelings they cause.  Unfortunately, these feelings still exist in our lives, even if we ignore them.  Learning to process our emotions healthily will increase our physical health and well-being, spiritually and mentally.  A person can express themselves by learning how to use appropriate words and actions in reaction to their emotions.

Noticing Your Feelings

It is essential to take a moment and see the emotions you are feeling. Just because you are feeling a certain way doesn’t mean you have to act on it. It means that you need to start noticing these emotions are there. This recognition is the first step in not being overwhelmed.  We have become so adept in our society at glossing over things with distraction (gaming, computers, media entertainment) That rarely is there a moment of silence to recognize what your emotions are telling you. Take that moment and notice how you feel. Learn to express them appropriately through words and actions.

Reflecting on Emotions

Ask some simple questions.  From where is this feeling coming? Why am I feeling it now? What is this emotion trying to tell me?  Seeking honest answers will give you a clue about any underlying emotional issues hiding in the background. The more you understand your feelings, the better you can deal with life. Instinctually we don’t want to show the world that something is bothering us or we are affected by things. Inside we view it as a weakness, but the real gap comes from not understanding the message of our emotions.

Strength in Acceptance

Many situations in life do not occur from a conscious choice.  If you are dealing with death, loss of job, accident, illness, aging, or betrayal, these are complicated situations that lead us to fight back in unhealthy ways. Denial, escaping into fantasy, substance abuse, manic activity, or overstimulation can be standard ways to deal with the flood of emotions hitting you.  Until you accept a circumstance as accurate, it is impossible to deal with it in an emotionally healthy way. Taking something doesn’t mean you give up. It only means that you understand where you are and why. This action will give you power over your emotions and how to deal with them.

Using Your Power

Becoming emotionally and intellectually self-aware will allow you to create insights into situations that will make the decision-making process easier to process. This infrastructure will work in all aspects of your life because you are working from a platform of honesty.  Our feelings are there to help guide us, and when they get attention, you are proactive. You are starting to write your own story.

Here are some emotions and what they might be trying to tell you.

Bitterness- Showing you where you need to heal, where you’re still holding judgments on others, and, most importantly, yourself.

Resentment- Letting you know you live in the past and not allow the present to be as it is.

Discomfort- There is an opportunity for change right now. Pay attention to what is happening and try to do something different than you typically do.

Anger- Warning sign, which displays your passions lie. It will also show up when boundaries are crossed or when you see things in your world that you feel need to change — anger is an excellent guide to your inner workings but a poor creator of your behavior.

Disappointment- It can be hard to deal with situations that don’t work out. It shows you are above apathy and still care about people and things.  Disappointments in our past not dealt with and accepted will lead to apathy and lack of expectation.

Guilt- If you are still living in the shadow of other people’s expectations of you.  Mistakes happen, things get broken, other people are not always going to like what you do. That is their emotional baggage, not yours.  Accept responsibility for your actions, put them behind you, and move forward.

Shame- It happens when we internalize the expectations of others on how we should be or live or who we have been or have lived in the past. Time to reconnect with yourself and understand who you are and what makes you happy.

Anxiety- This is a feeling that stems from fear — usually fear of the past or fear of the future.  You need to come into the present moment and let the past be the past and the coming fall where it will.  Anxiety is a clear guidepost to get into the present moment. Identify the thought that is leading to a feeling of dread.

Sadness- There is a depth of feeling that brings on sadness. Sadness will display when we look at the world and care deeply about others their circumstances and situations.  Ask what is making you sad?

Whatever your emotions are today, seeking to understand how they affect you is a move toward empowerment.  No matter what you do, your feelings will exist and continue to touch you. Either you can allow them to control your life, or you can use them to determine what they are guiding you toward.

“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” -Daniel Goleman.

“75 percent of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including the inability to handle interpersonal problems, unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict, or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.”  -Center for Creative Leadership.

“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” -Dale Carnegie.

“When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves.” -Jess C. Scott. 

“The only way to change someone’s mind is to connect with them from the heart.” 
-Rasheed Ogunlaru

“No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.”
 -Theodore Roosevelt

“Unleash in the right time and place before you explode at the wrong time and place.” -Oli Anderson.

 

21

F.E.A.R.

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Fear– an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.

FearOne of the most challenging things that people face in life is fear. It is a formidable foe because it can rise in any area of your life at any moment.  Any experience in life can cause pain, and we are designed to avoid pain. So a traumatic experience at any age can cause fear to arise in your mind and affect your life. Fear can either be a motivator or a limiter to what you can and will accomplish in life.  Once you have been harmed, most people go to great lengths to avoid a repeat performance.  Raise your consciousness today, noticing the fear in your life. Look at where you are limited and the fear behind it in your thoughts, words, and actions.  By recognizing the fear and understanding its cause, the fear can be overcome and even eliminated. Try to be fearless. (See Video here)

Eliminate Fear

People often believe that the opposite of love is hate, but that isn’t true. Love’s opposite is fear.  All things seem to come down to a choice between love and concern.  To eliminate fear will, therefore, allow you to experience more love in your life.  Love should be your goal in all things. Not just the fearidealized version of attachment but the caring for others in the world, making your experience more positive.

The thoughts of fear are always in contrast to the ideas of love. Like two sides of the coin, they are there waiting for you to make a conscious choice of which one gets your attention.  There is a Cherokee parable about this battle in our hearts. Each of us has two wolves inside of us, fighting for control. One is love, and one is fear. Which one wins is the one you feed.

The thoughts of love are joy, peace, acceptance, hope, kindness, empathy, humility, and truth.

The thoughts of fear are anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, dishonesty, judgment, and ego.

Which one do you choose to feed? It is essential because overcoming fear will allow you to become a better human being. You are making your life and the lives of those around you a better experience only by consciously choosing the positive thoughts, words, and actions of love over those of fear. Be fearless.

Action Kills Fear

If you asked most people what they would like to do, they would tell you, but then follow it up with a list of reasons they can’t possibly do that right now. Lack of funds, time, freedom, acceptance, fearunderstanding are all reasons to keep dreams at a distance. These are all words of fear of talking.  The truth is behind the excuses is a fear of failure. A doubt has arisen in all of us since the beginning of our lives. But one that cane destroyed as quickly as all others.

The remedy to fear is action. Fear will kill your dreams, and work will open the doorway to achievement. Taking a vision from thought to action is scary because of all the things that can go wrong.  It is courage that allows you to move forward, take action, and see what happens.  No matter what happens, there are answers on the other side of action. Those answers will make your goals and dreams a reality or provide you with a roadmap of getting where you want to go.  Be brave and take action toward whatever it is you want to achieve. Be undaunted by potential failure. To do anything else is to cower in the darkness, hoping someone will stumble across your greatness.  Develop your excellence through action and defeat your fears.

Fear the Constant Companion

Fear is a constant companion in life. It is the brain trying to keep you safe.  But it is just a thought, and you have to decide what kind of life you will live. Life comes with no guarantees, and there are going to be situations that hurt you. That is life.  Learning to muster the courage to keep living fearfully, even though pain may happen, is how great experiences are created.  The only person who can be brave for you is you, so developing this talent will allow you to have the potential to accomplish anything.

So be conscious today and every day about the fears that are controlling your life. Where do they come from? What action will overcome it?  Become aware of your thoughts, words, and works around fear, and strive continuously to overcome it.  This conflict between your mind and your concern is the most significant battle we all face in life. Everything you dream about is on the other side of your victory over fear.

Questions about fear

What fears cause anxiety to you?

How do you deal with the emotion of fear?

What fears are most challenging for you to face?

How does fear help you in life?  How does it limit you?

Quotes About Fear

You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.~Eleanor Roosevelt

If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. ~Marcus Aurelius

Fear is only as deep as the mind allows.~Japanese Proverb

Be Fearless

 

 

21

Lessons

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10891894_10152953817908518_7194032913393854931_nFrom time to time we all reflect on our experiences and try to bring some valuable experience from life. It is human nature to look back and reflect on the things that happened and to glean whatever helpful information we can from it. Many occasions and situations happened over the past year, which has given us a new experience or taught us a new lesson.  The year has certainly taught me many engaging lessons. It seems the older that I am, the more I learn, and I look forward to the new year with anticipation about all the things that I will know.  But before we move forward, let me look back at the year and the lessons it has taught me.

  1. Be for yourself- In all that you do, it is ok to look at the experience and determine what is going to be the best outcome for you. If you don’t look to your well-being, then nobody else is going to. Making sure that what you are experiencing is good for you and your future is not selfish. It is common sense. I have found that most situations are designed to work out in your favor, especially if one takes a moment to analyze it and see if it is ultimately for your greatest good.

2. People are Awesome-  Or at least they are if you give them the chance to be. At the end of each year, it is natural to look at the year and think of the people who have come into your life over the previous 12 months and the mark they have made on it. I have been very fortunate to have many incredible people touch my life and leave an indestructible, positive impact on me.  From all areas of life and places I hang around and write like Panera, my life has been altered and enhanced by each encounter. It affects everything from the music I enjoy to the understanding I have about others.

Often people enter your life much like the tide in the ocean. They roll in and cover an area, stay for the time they are intended, and then recede to their origins. Often the things that they leave behind on the beach of your life are pretty significant. Even though few people can remain in your life constantly forever, each leaves’ mark may have a lasting effect. They may make you smile when you think of them or force you to think of things differently.

I have been blessed this year by many tides, and the remnants of their presence will stay with me throughout life. I wonder how many people I will meet in the new year can say the same thing about. I can’t wait to find out.

3.  Living without Attachment- One of my problems is placing an unhealthy attachment to things.  I hope that I have learned how to be better at allowing things to happen as they are meant to and enjoying them for what they are, rather than being disappointed for what they are not. When I let life go, doing my part by setting goals and taking actions, each day brings an enjoyment that makes life a fantastic experience.

It doesn’t matter what you are doing; it will always be good if you appreciate what they are. There are sad things that happen, and you will not define those as “good,” but they are happening. If you learn something from them, then they are valuable. I do not know what the future is bringing, but I look forward to it all.

  1. Getting Healthy is Hard but Rewarding- I am sure that many have learned this lesson. As you reach the end of your rope and know it is time to take control of your health and fitness. No matter your goal, it can be challenging to get to the point you want to get to. Losing weight or just being healthier. The good news is that you will soon be reminded how good it feels to get a regular exercise period in your life. How happy it makes you and how much more you enjoy life because of it. I had the motivation to finally put all the excuses aside and start to get in better shape, and it has made my life a complete experience and has led to some daunting fitness goals in the new year. There is only one way to accomplish any fitness goal: one day at a time.

5. What you BELIEVE about yourself is a choice and can be changed as more information becomes available.

I learned that most people are running their lives based on the beliefs they established when they were very young. These beliefs were cultivated and developed because of the ideas of our parents, teachers, and things as distant as the media. Our beliefs about success, love, and money have been implanted in our minds, and most folks never manage to question these things.

You can change all of these beliefs about yourself at any time that you wish. It takes a simple recognition of your beliefs and how you would like to change them. Let your life experience dictate what you believe and not what someone else wanted you to think about yourself, your abilities, and how enjoyable your life experience is going to be.

6. Forgiveness is vital in moving forward in life. The most important person is that you need to forgive yourself. There is nobody else’s opinion that matters as much to you and your life experience as yours. All people have regrets and have made mistakes; it is OK. Let go of the guilt and make choices today that will honor you, and that is the only thing you can control. The past is gone, and it is never coming back, good or bad.

Once you truly forgive yourself, then I have found that forgiving others is a lot easier.  Forgiveness allows you to keep things in perspective, move forward with life, and enjoy what you experience without comparing or contrasting it to previous events. Happiness is a choice that often begins with the intention to forgive others and, most importantly yourself.

7. Being positive is a choice that you can make. Many people look at positive thinking in the wrong light, I think. It is not only looking on the bright side of things, but it includes how you perceive the world and its events. There is a natural and straightforward contrast to what we view as unfavorable, and how you think is always a choice. If you look at someone and judge them in a negative light, it is just as simple and healthier to accept them as they are. You are learning to practice substituting sympathy for cruelty, love for hate, generosity for greed, or hope for fear. All of these things are simple choices that you make in every situation.  Life will test you, and no matter how hard you try, there will be times when you fail and think things based on bias and prejudice. Each one of these situations provides you with the chance to grow and become a better person.

8. It’s OK to be Afraid

All people experience fear, and it is a natural part of life. How you deal with it is what is essential. Facing what you are afraid of head-on and honestly takes courage, and hopefully, I have developed this type of strength over the past year.  Fear of death, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what other people think of you and what you do, etc., are all genuine. There is no weakness in feeling these things as long as you face them, overcome them and take actions that you know are right.  In many cases, it does take bravery to be yourself, but that is the only natural way to experience a happy life.

I look forward to the changes and opportunities that I will have to be a better person as I develop throughout the year. This is a very Good Thing.

21

There’s A Light

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When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

light in the darkness jonathan hilton
Are Your Ideas In the Darkness?

There are times in everyone’s life when they feel like they are all by themselves, with only their beliefs to guide them.  These times are opportunities to define your life, what your principles are, and how you will share this with the world. Will you continue to think as you always have? Or will you move in the direction of change and growth? That is a test that life likes to give us from time to time, and we must find the lesson and maintain our humanity and compassion in the process. There is no question difficult times are tough to endure but they bring with them an opportunity.  One way or another these moments will come to define your life, providing you with depth in the way you view life and your place in it.  You will have the chance to become more understanding of the plight of others in the world or you can build bitterness around your own situation.  The decision is truly yours. What light do you bring into the world?  One of illumination or destruction?

The Dark Side

walking into the darkness
Fear-based thought will lead you to the darkness.

When difficult times arrive, you may forget the soft glow of the idea you strongly believe in, you can lose your positive attitude. This experience can cause disillusion, anger, hatred, and, most of all, self-pity. Why is everyone against me? If they were real friends, they would support me no matter what. Poor me! These are natural emotions and thoughts, but that is all that they are.  We are not our thoughts or emotions. In this case, they are all caused by the actions and opinions of others.  The danger is that once you start down the path of self-pity and anger, you are in danger of staying there for a long time, if not forever.

All of these are fear-based emotions and thoughts, which can have no other destination than to make you unhappy, angry, and scared.  There is no way that you can embrace the good in something and grow if you spend all of your time, though, and effort in self-pity and anger. These emotions can become pervasive in all aspects of your life, and relationships end; you will find that you look at everything with a veil of suspicion, and it will become nearly impossible to be truly happy.  This change can be caused by any tragedy in your life, losing a job, character assassinations, the death of a loved one, or any of the significant obstacles of life.  Fortunately, this is not permanent or fatal unless you want it to be.

The Light

When you carry the light of an idea into the darkness, you will always have a choice, for

walking in the light
Thoughts and actions based on love will bring you to light no matter where you are

every adverse reaction above, there is a positive choice available to you.  This choice is the path of growth because these decisions come from love.  Compassion, understanding, kindness, and forgiveness are all examples of this type of reaction.  It is pretty easy to display these characteristics when times are good and everything is going your way, but quite a different story when facing challenges.  You get laid off from your job unexpectedly, how do you react? It would be understandable if you were angry and felt it was unfair and wished terrible things on all of those responsible, but what will that accomplish when you look at it?

You will allow the things that happened to you to define you and all of your actions.  Or you can accept that it happened and look for the positive. This optimism may be the push you needed to finally follow your dream and become a doctor or an engineer or whatever you have always wanted to do.  Difficult times and opportunities often walk hand in hand if you keep your eyes open.  Forgive those that you feel wronged you, accept what has happened, and move forward with courage. I can’t tell you for sure, but open your eyes and embrace the changes, and you may find yourself significantly happier than when you began this journey.

So if you feel like you are marching into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believe in, make that idea one that honors you and leads to a more significant light in the world. If it creates love, it will do that. If it starts with fear, it will most likely lead to misery and pain. Look for the light in the situations you face, and even the worst things can ultimately positively impact you and the world.  There is no way to change the past and what has happened. You have one hundred percent control over how you react to them.

Into the light

 

21

Nothing to Fear

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FEAR ME

fear 1“I am afraid. ” There I said it, I admit it. Now the challenge is for you reading this look at yourself and sees how true that statement is for you.

Fear is so ingrained in our society that sometimes it is difficult even to recognize it anymore; if you are like me, it is time for you to get onto the common ground with your fear and face it. 

What is Fear?

This is the feeling that something or someone will cause us harm, resulting in pain and suffering.  It begins from the time we are small children as adults in our lives try to warn us against the damage the world can cause.  It has its place in the learning curve because otherwise, kids would walk in traffic, set the house on fire, and do all kinds of harmful things.

So what’s the problem? Fear becomes more than this. Fear is the root of all evil. All of the negative emotions of the world stem off from worry. Hate, anger, jealousy, judgment all come from fear-based beliefs and all-cause irreparable pain.

Can Fear be Good?

fear lightSome people believe that fear supplied in a small dose can be a motivating factor for some people. I think that is initially true; however, it is not a successful nor long-term solution. What are you trying to motivate yourself to do?  Fear may get you there once, but what then? Is it going to take something even scarier to get you to reach further?

The best motivator is creation.  A person working from fear will work hard as long as the threat is behind them; they will let up when removed.  The person who is working for the motivation to be creative will persist until the invention comes into reality, Regardless of factors surrounding them.  Fear will keep you from walking out into traffic, but common sense does that as well.

Fear Control

patriot actIt has become commonplace for leaders to use fear as a mechanism for control.  Leaders learned long ago that having a common enemy would hide their faults and even help push their agendas.  After 9-11, there was an intense fear of terrorists, which justified many bad things.  Constitutional rights were wiped away by the Patriot Act; there only had to be the suspicion of wrongdoing, and all that our Constitution stood for disappeared. Why? Because of fear?

Media Fear Is Worst

The most prominent proponent of fear is the mainstream media. They have learned that if they talk incessantly about things that might hurt you, then ratings go up. It is sickening.  About a year ago, I implemented my boycott on all mainstream media news.  I haven’t missed a news story, and I am less afraid that the person in the car next to me will take drugs, jump out the window, smash my windows in with a baseball bat and try to kill me. media fearSo I think it worked out ok.

Sadly Fear Sells

In all seriousness, fear is us to sell everything from acne treatments to life insurance.  I refuse to buy anything marketed through fear. I refuse to be afraid of stuff that doesn’t make sense.  Otherwise, we end up locked in our homes, fearful of every sound.  Can something happen? Of course, it can. That is life.  Being afraid only makes you miserable.  Buy what you need, not what you are worried you might need.

Fearfully The End

urlIn closing, I will say this, in the beginning, I stated that I am afraid, and I do have a bit of fear, and this is the most significant one to get rid of, that is a fear about yourself.  We all have a fear of failure to some degree that we have to overcome.  I have this in spades.

Why? Because I am afraid that if I try something, I might fail.  The purpose of writing this post is to put my fear in public.  I sincerely hope that this act will allow me the courage to follow through with my plans.  I am going to write them out. I am going to work on them every day, unafraid of what will come. Because clearly, to do anything else is practicing limiting thinking.

We result from the thoughts that we entertain, and they will each have the power that you allow them to have. So from now on, this is a no-fear zone.  Or at least that is my hope.

What are you afraid of? 

21

Seperation

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What invisible walls separate you from others?
What invisible walls separate you from others?

Many problems come from the illusion of separation that people have been taught throughout life. Almost from birth, we are introduced to group people and label them based on arbitrary measures. Separation by race, religion, region, economics, or any other action is designed to create an identity, but they only build walls between people. Security is a big reason for this. Where you fit in, you are safe, but later it can be attached to a person’s self-worth and value.  We are not separate; we are connected. The truth is that we are far more connected than we are different. Eliminate the separations between us, and the world will be a much more functional place.

Keep Learning and Growing

The more you learn and understand people, the more difficult it is to 428942_418665911504100_1480841243_nput a fence between you. At our core, we are all the same, and we have a soul, emotions, thoughts, and the capacity to love. Each person is blessed with the same essential functions. In this manner, we are all identical and connected.

Circumstances are different, and it is the circumstances that we tend to focus on. Fear makes people look for differences to make themselves feel more secure, self-assured, or successful. All of this is an illusion. Your success or failure is determined by your thoughts, actions, and perseverance in life. The external factors are arbitrary and have nothing to do with life’s joys or sorrows. We are connected in our humanity, wholly and unquestionably.

Behavior Alone Defines You

It is your behavior that is going to define who you are to yourself and the wayne-dyer-quoteworld. Your words can spin many stories, but your actions tell the truth of what you believe. If you look at the world as separate and look down on people because of broad labels, that shows a lack of growth. Racism is one of these things. Suppose a person judges another based on skin color that clearly defines him and nobody else.  People use the perception of separation to manipulate behavior.

The same can be said for political labels, nationalistic or geographic separations. All of the barriers that we create to separate are built on fear and fear alone. Watch the national media, really watch them. Their message is based almost solely on fear. This message is given to control you. The way you think and the actions of our leaders that you will accept. Listen and learn. Messages of love are accurate; statements of fear are false. Listen to the message.

Fear or Love

Like many things in life, separation comes down to a simple choice between love and fear. Love expands, accepts, understands, and makes f5d22fc753c32bd8a5d6c3491f012f2bthings better, while fear does the opposite, retracts, rejects, judges, and makes things worse. As individuals, we are responsible for our thoughts and our personal growth throughout life. You are not done, at 22 when you graduate college. Learning and growth are lifelong duties.

Some look at the world and see a collection of frightening problems, but others look at the same place and see the beautiful possibilities. Which type of person are you? We are all in this together, and we can spend our time fighting and fretting over our perceived differences. Or we can spend the short time we have in life enjoying our experience and erring on the side of love.