Tag Archives: let it all go

22

Letting Go Of Anchors

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Why don’t we say all the things we want to say? Sometimes it is in deference to someone’s feelings. Often we hold back because we are afraid of how we will look to others.  But most often, I think I hold back on things I never say because it is an invitation to see our inside, which is a person’s most safe place. Once you let someone into that space, what else might they see? So we remain silent, guarded, and closed off. But that is no way to live life.

The Beginning

When we are young children, we experiment, showing parts of ourselves to the world. What we think is funny. What we think is brilliant. Mistakes are made. Sometimes, we are chastised, laughed at, and made to feel wrong about who we are, which hurts. So our little growing egos start to express themselves very carefully. We begin to hide parts of ourselves from the world because we are afraid of how they will be received.  The list of things we hide inside of ourselves only grows.

Over time these lists of things we can say and do and those we can’t form our personality and provide the window we allow the world to see us through.  But it is only a tiny, prefabricated version of who we are.  Every person in the world has this window created due to the things they can’t say to the world.

Mountains Out of Mole Hills

This is one of my favorite sayings because all people seem to create the greatest tragedies out of the tiniest of mishaps. A person’s imagination is massive when it comes to potential difficulties, but we are often marked by overreaction pushed by fear. The real problems we face are pretty small.  The things we repress and hide from the world about our thoughts and how we feel do not disappear like a rabbit from a magician’s hat. No, their energy stays with you blocking your health and ability to move forward.

To free these blockages, a person needs to express themselves freely, at this to themselves. Let the actions, thoughts, and happenings of your life be expressed freely. This freedom will allow current problems to be viewed through a scope that is not clouded by past events.  Each new event will be judged on its merit, regardless of the past.  These energies will move through you and allow more room inside for new and creative creations to come from you.

It is Less Work to Just BE

Look at the effort it takes a person to constantly edit themselves and decide what is inappropriate to say and do.  It is unhealthy for the mind and spirit, but it is also just a much more difficult life.  It isn’t easy to have an opinion today because it seems there is always some tiny person in the world who will disagree, but don’t let a small-minded person limit your great message.  State your truth clearly and loudly for the world to hear, and never apologize for it.

It is your right and gift as an individual to have thoughts, ideas, a sense of humor,  or a philosophy of honor.  Expressing this is the most honorable form of creation.  Be that creation of a product, thought, or philosophy.  Stop hiding your uniqueness behind fear.  It is fear that stops anyone from expressing themselves in the first place. It is better to be yourself than to live life behind a cloud.  Express the things you never spoke of and let the repressed thoughts and feelings go.

My experience is that if you don’t consciously release these things, they will find a way to free themselves, which may not be a way you would like or enjoy. Making the whole “stealth behavior” in the beginning a terrible choice.  Emotions like sadness or anger flash out of nowhere, and you wonder what that is all about.  Be conscious of your words and feelings and let them come out and express yourself.  Be healthy and express yourself and say the things you never say.

 

22

Learning about Myself

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There are a variety of experiences a person goes through in the course of life. I have been through many different things, being very fortunate to meet and know many people and to visit some places.  Most of our experiences are similar, for the most part, and yet we still have a hard time talking about some things which cause us pain and heartbreak.  These are the things we have difficulty telling anyone.  The emotions are hidden, been too far inside.  It is time to recognize each and let them all go.

Sadness

One of our staple emotions is sadness. We feel this all the time, from the loss of something in many phases of our lives. But if you acknowledge your grief and say it out loud to people, you are perceived as weak and undesirable.  This fear has caused me to hide my sadness whenever it has arisen.  Push it aside, hold it down where nobody can see it, and it will go away. As if by magic.  For these reasons, sadness is uncomfortable and makes you feel there is something wrong with handling it.

The emotions we try to bury will always rise back to the surface, like a diver coming back up for air; these emotions will charge again to our consciousness at some point.  Often when you would least expect it. They come when any event has any remote to connect with a past sad event.  I have had tears rise to the surface saying good night to someone because it reaches into the experience of permanent loss I have felt earlier in life.  Sometimes it comes when you look at who you are, and it doesn’t match up with what you perceive others to think of you.  Being sad is a part of life. It provides the contrast to joy, which gives power and desirability to that emotion. There would be no joy if there were not any sadness.  It seems we should be more willing to talk about that.

I Hate Loss

As a child, I never liked the idea of loss.  When you have a thing, then you no longer have this thing. It is a part of life to learn to deal with the grief associated with a loss, but often, we are instructed as young men to “toughen up,” and as an adult signature on the path of life, I should have a higher handle on the losses.  But it still hurts when things and people are removed from my life. It can be a break-up, a job change, the passing of a loved one, or any loss of something once here that is now gone.

We all desire life to be controllable, predictable, and in our control.  Life will never be one of these things, and loss comes to us because we forget this hard truth.  That is why my goal is to enjoy everything that happens and not to build an attachment to that thing.  Events, ideas, and people will come into your life and deposit what you need to learn. Some will stay for the whole story, but most are just there for a chapter or two. Make those chapters the best they can be, and then turn the page and allow the following stages to come to you.  Losing things and people happen more and more as you get older; learning to deal with this process in a healthy manner is one of the most significant challenges we all face.

I Don’t Forget

One of my weaknesses hinders me from dealing appropriately with the last two things in my memory. It has a grasp of the times I enjoy that I can’t escape. If my thoughts are left to run on their own, to those happy things, they will run.  What is the harm in this? You ask. Our minds are a great tool but inaccurate. They remember things in a way that is not the most accurate—often stressing the good and moving the bad or painful to the background.  Soon we are nostalgic for past experiences and places, and those memories are false, and we remember things from our perspective.

There are many things, especially time spent with people, I never want to forget. No matter what happened, positive or negative, the value of that person is something you hold onto because you want to remember the places you went, the things you shared, and even if you got lost on the way, were late. The park closed before you got there, and it was still a valuable, memorable experience.  The problem exists because looking to the past brings a natural feeling of regret, which is not going to do you any good.  It is impossible, in my experience, to move forward until you put your past clearly and completely behind you.  Hold your memories in your heart, but don’t visit them; it is an unhealthy pastime.

There are many other things I cannot talk about, like love, hurting, disappointment, etc.  But this is an excellent place to start. The hard truth is that we all have these disturbing things inside us.  They are leftovers of our past, as far back as our childhoods.  They are essential because our subconscious mind uses this programming to run our lives when we are not paying attention to the events in front of us.

The trick, I think, is to learn to let the energy of the negative emotions pass through us and face our pain from the past.  Let the sadness move through us and pass away.  The fear of loss can cause many problems, but you can learn to master it by understanding that nothing lasts forever. Nothing.  We are just passengers on this planet for a short time, and our ultimate joy and enjoyment of life will come from how we live in every moment—putting the regrets of the past behind us and worries about the future,  which will cause anxiety, out of our minds.