Tag Archives: Mistakes

Mistakes

How have your perceived mistakes allowed you to grow as a person?

Several themes become clear to me if I pay attention to the experiences my life presents to me. No matter how smart, prepared, or skillful I am, I will make mistakes from time to time. How I deal with these things will go a long way in defining the value my life provides me and those around me. There are two clear choices to make. To accept imperfections as a part of the growth process and use them to become better at whatever I am doing. Or to hide from my mistakes in fear of what they may reveal about me to the world.

Mistakes are inevitable in any life. Some people will lie, mislead, and ignore help to avoid looking like they know something and distance themselves from a potential mistake. That is, things don’t always go perfectly, we do not know everything, and sometimes in the learning process, you have to ask questions from those with more experience about what you are trying to accomplish. Why do we do this? Why should we not do this? Those are the critical questions that can lead to some personal development today.

It has been proven that the mistakes and missteps in the process allow people to experience the most significant advances seen in the history of man. We have all learned longer-lasting and more powerful lessons from the mistakes we share than from the successes. Or at least I know I have. The classes are much more painful, and we want to avoid them in the future. All mistakes are just learning experiences; we can use to benefit us in pursuing our ultimate goals.

It’s In Our DNA

As human beings, we are descended from primitive hunter-gatherers, scratching out a living as best they could against competing groups. That was a time where a mistake could get you killed.

Although you may develop a great new hunting technique or make a brand new weapon that gave you a survival advantage, if they made a mistake, that was your life. We are hard-wired to fear our mortality. The mistakes we make today are probably not in that category, but we treat them the same. That not being perfect is going to lead to or display some fatal flaw. And, of course, our ego will tell us we can’t share this with the world, or we will be found as wanting.

It may be our own mistake or the mistake of someone else, but our instincts tell us at the moment to judge the error harshly and get away from it. Being mistake-free used to keep you alive, but it didn’t help you evolve or move to a higher level of knowledge, existence, or caring.

Brainwashed

From the moment we are old enough to understand things in the world, we are institutionalized by a public education system that provides a model of behavior it wants to see. We are rewarded for following it as correctly as we can.

Those who can’t follow are given “poor” grades and encouraged to try to conform a little bit more to the desired program. The educational system has done a great job of ensuring that creativity is abandoned for conformity at an early age and that any mistake will be considered failing. You will get F’s if your work is not mimicking the desired standard.

There are no errors allowed to express yourself as an individual or try something you are not sure about doing. Only an approved curriculum is rewarded based on learning objectives that don’t seem to create a learning process to allow all people to flourish. Our society looks for reasons that a student might not be performing to expectation, and they have prescribed drugs to help calm them down and make them “better.” A more docile and agreeable student, you will be, but not one that is necessarily true to yourself. Yes, if you make mistakes in school, you will be “educated.” Mistakes are viewed as fatal flaws in the workings of a person. Rather than as opportunities for valuable growth.

Your Judgmental Eyes

As adults, mistakes continue to be frowned upon, whether they are part of your work, personal life, or both. Everyone in the history of people is an expert at making mistakes 77777and also a victim of them.

I believe we should all strive for perfection in everything we do, but you can’t give something your all if you are worried about failing or making a mistake. Whenever you are striving to reach new ground, there is going to be a learning curve.

You may hit the mark on your first attempt, but more often than not, it might take a few attempts to master the curve. If the intent is there to improve something or try something new, you should be given a bit of leeway to master the skill. Be encouraged to ask questions, set a goal, fall, get up, and make a new plan to try again.

Yet how many people tried, failed, were criticized, and ridiculed, which led to them quitting before reaching their ultimate goal. Perhaps it was the judgmental eyes of a loved one that saw the mistake as fatal rather than just a short setback. How many people quit because of this? We fear mistakes because of what people will think about us. Even though nothing great was ever accomplished without making a few errors on the way. Mistakes are never fatal; only the choices you make because of them are.

Get Rid of Fear

74630_136307529868004_680428262_nIn my mind, there is a choice each day to live in fear or to live with love. It is essential to look at mistakes through soft eyes that understand and encourage when you look at them. When we look with judgment on the mistakes of others, we forget the humanity we have experienced in our own mistakes.

Mistakes happen, we don’t want them to, but they are never fatal. When we learn to leave the fear of falling behind us, we will be able to soar to new heights.

“Mistakes have the power to turn you into something better than you were before.” Anonymous

“Remember that life’s greatest lessons are usually learned at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.” Anonymous

“Don’t mention a person’s past mistakes when they are trying to change. That’s like throwing rocks at them while they are struggling to climb a mountain.” Anonymous

“Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.” Oscar Wilde

“We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes; you are here now with the power to shape your day and your future.” Steve Maraboli

“You make mistakes. Mistakes don’t make you.” Maxwell Maltz

“When someone does something wrong, don’t forget all the things they did right.” Anonymous

 

 

Sorry

Sorry- feeling distressed, especially through sympathy with someone else’s misfortune.

sorry
In the game we played as kids, some never learn the value of the word sorry.

Life is a continual path of choices. Each person will make many choices every day, from when to get up in the morning to what they eat that day.  As we move along that path, there will be opportunities to do good things or bad things. To choose to be kind and considerate of others or to make decisions with our own self-interest at heart. All people are going to make decisions they are not proud of at some point. It is part of being human.  Recognizing the wrong you perceive is difficult, but we all have the power to make it right. Say, “I’m sorry.”  This is the first step in making things right for you.  It all starts with a conscious awareness of the things you have done and do which actually cause harm to others.  Your thoughts will reveal your emotions about the things you have done, the words you have or have not used because of them, and the actions you have or have not taken.  I’m sorry is an important place to start when building understanding.

Sorry About My Pride

Pride is a feeling we all have, and it can be a positive thing, but sometimes we let it get in the way.  There are people out there with such fragile egos Im sorrythat admitting they made even the tiniest of mistakes is a threat to their whole identity.  Don’t be one of these people.  It is your ego, or your false self, speaking these words.  Never be too proud to say you are sorry.

Good people make bad choices all the time. That is a part of the process of life called learning.  Be conscious of your choices and the way they affect other people.  Seeing that your decision hurts someone else isn’t an indictment of you and your character. It is a recognition of humanity in someone else.  I’m sorry is a way to state express your understanding of the pain in another person.  You see them, understand them, and will try to help them.  It is a simple matter of putting someone else’s well-being ahead of your own.  It costs nothing, so don’t be too proud to use this phrase.

How Can I Make It Right

Along with the honest sentiment of being sorry for your choice or action, the question should be; How can I make it right?  For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, and we learn this from physics. It is true in other Sorryparts of life too.  Hopefully, when you have hurt someone or made a poor choice, there is a way to make it right. Even the worst of behaviors can be atoned for in some way.  It starts by taking responsibility for yourself and your behavior and working toward doing what is right.

Most often, the thing to do is to stop doing the thing that is hurting someone else. That is the moment of choice because either you will put someone else ahead of yourself or are not.  I’m sorry it loses its power if clearly, you are not sorry enough to change your behavior. If you are the source of someone’s misfortune, then show your contrition by stopping that behavior. Stop making the same mistake over and over again. Use them to discover how to live a better life.

Sorry Doesn’t Fix Everything.

Simply saying that you are sorry doesn’t fix everything, and even bargaining a manner to make things right might not do the trick. Having feelings about remorse in the way you treated someone is the first step in your humanity.  And who says it is your job to fix everything.  We can do the only thing to try to become a little bit better a person than we were yesterday. To leave a little more joy in the world and less anger and pain.  To understand where you were wrong, the mistakes you made, intentional or unintentional, and sorry for them.  You can’t control the reactions of others, and who is to say what their emotional state is?  You are responsible for your actions and the footprint that leaves in the world.  This mark begins by being more conscious of your thoughts, emotions, words, and actions today and taking responsibility for feeling and saying you are sorry when you are wrong.

“If we have made an error, done a wrong, been unjust to another or ourselves, or, like the Pharisee, passed by some opportunity for good, we should have the courage to face our mistake squarely, to call it boldly by its right name, to acknowledge it frankly and to put in no flimsy alibis of an excuse to protect an anemic self-esteem.” – William George Jordan.

“An apology is a good way to have the last word.”-Unknown

“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”-Paul Boese