Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

 by Jonathan Hilton

Love is a difficult topic to discuss because there are so many parts inside of us that can be exposed through this discussion, that it is easier to brush it off and make a joke of it, to distract from the fact that love is a huge part of being human and being happy on the face of the earth.

This straight forward question is kind of fascinating because it forces you to declare where the love in your life lies.  I realize that there are many different kinds of love we experience during the course of a life.  Love brings with it a wide variety of experiences from the fantastic to the horrible and it can all come from the same relationships.

I Love Everybody

Everyone in existence loves someone. There is no way that you can’t.  It might be unrequited love, or unfortunate love or bad love but we all love someone.

With that premise in mind I answer that I have a feeling of love inside for everybody.  How can that be? Easy, because I believe that we are all connected and although our physical experience is different, there is a similarity that we all share.  Therefore to hate someone else is to hate myself.

There were many times when I looked at people with a much harsher eye. I judged people with a cool and unemotional dislike,  not liking those who were not doing what, in my mind they should have been doing.

It is easy to judge others because it diverts the attention away from yourself.  Most things that you find annoying or as shortcomings in others are the weaknesses you generally recognize in yourself.

I know that every person is living their life the best they can.  I can’t judge their personal decisions because I have not experienced the pain or joy that has influenced them.  All that I can do is to be accepting of people just for what they are because inside of them is a person who is very similar to me.

Even if they are mean, uncaring or cruel to me or others, I do not let their bad behavior and poor choices dictate how I am going to think or feel. I forgive them, that is all there is to do.  I would rather that then carry hate or resentment in my heart.  Hate is a virus and will destroy your soul and make life quite joyless. I have carried that load enough.

But You Gotta Love You

Of all the people you spend time with in your life, you have to be the most important.  It is difficult for many people to consider that they love themselves, let alone to tell the world that they do.

For many years I can say that I never forgave myself for the smallest of mistakes.  I didn’t love myself, in fact I didn’t like much of what I felt or thought.  Yet in the end it is true that you can’t give love to someone else unless you first feel it for yourself.

I believe that each of us has a gift inside that makes us special.  When we were young we felt it and had hope for the day it would come to light.  Yet for me as for others, life pushed that gift aside and made us forget what we had.  Replaced by a chorus of  “you should”, “You Could have” , “You must”, “If only you would have.”

None of these regrets push you closer to your true self, in fact they push that truth deeper inside and make it harder to find.

I am not sure if or when I will ever find that light that existed in me, but I remember that it did at one time and I am searching for it feverishly because I know that it is fantastic.  The possessor of such a gift must be worthy of love no matter who it is, and therefore the first love I feel must be for myself.

What Am I doing About It

Well anyone who has been reading my writings or talking to me in person will know that I am trying to live in a way that is representative of the best of me. I know that I have fallen short in many ways in my life and without the help of others I never would have  been able to start this journey. I never would have known what to look for.  So I follow the path that is laid out in front of me. One day at a time and experience what is placed in front of me. I accept others for what they are and try to accept myself the same way.  Love is the most powerful emotion in the world and all good things are an offshoot of this emotion.  I am doing the best I can to follow the feeling of love.

 

Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

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