Why All Women Love the Notebook!
by Jonathan Hilton
It astounds me that no matter who you meet, their age, economic background, political leanings or any other dynamic that you can think of, all women seem to be universal in their love for the movie, The Notebook.
I spent a little time to try to understand this phenomenon. I think that if I can understand this fascination then, perhaps, I will be on my way to finally understand the fairer sex. It’s the classic story, rich city girl Alli Hamilton meets poor country boy Noah Calhoun and they fall in love, Noah promises to build her a house, and even though they are separated by unforeseen circumstances for many years through trials and tribulations.
Even though Alli blows Noah off he still carries a torch for her through his stint in world war II and losing his best pal. Alli moves on to find another guy to marry who her parents like much more than Noah.
He still carries his love for Alli even though every normal person would have long forgotten her and her foolish ways. It just seems that all women secretly long to be so important to someone else that they build a house for them.
As our two lovers come back together, we see them pick up where they left off and realize that her mother schemed to keep them apart for all of those years. They decide to stay together and have a happy life, and that is the story. As Alli is in declining health, Noah reads the story of their life to them out of a Notebook, in the end dying together before she forgets everything all together.
What a Woman Sees In the Notebook
When a woman watches the movie, they seem to be very selective about what they see.
It seems almost without exception they see a man in love with a woman, who carries a torch for her even though she has apparently forgotten all about him and moved on to some rich guy.
They also see a guy who spends all of his money and time rebuilding a house which to them is a symbol of his everlasting love. Women also see a man who is carrying around in his heart a quiet but sure flame for his true love, I mean why else would he build her a studio in his house?
It is so lovely! At the end of her life, he loves her so much that he comes back to spend every day with her at the nursing home, even though she doesn’t remember it, and in the end, the last time that she remembers him, they hold hands and pass away peacefully together.
How sweet, they think, he really loved her and if only I could experience that kind of commitment from a man I would be happy.
It must be a universal theme because so many women say that this is their favorite movie. I don’t see it on many lists of favorite movies for guys, though. Noah Calhoun represents their ideal man, which no man can possibly live up to.
What a Man Sees when he watches the Notebook
The perception of a man is quite different than his female counterpart. First of all
they look at a man who was totally mistreated by this woman, and still he was so whipped that he spent all of his time, going off the deep end, building a house for her, and only sleeping with women that reminded him of her.
When she finally does come back, he welcomes her with open arms, even though she has been out fooling around with rich guys and not thinking about him at all, or at least very little.
You wouldn’t be marrying someone else if you were still in love. This guy can’t accept the truth or take a hint. He pines away for her like a fool. Even in the end, he can’t even die when he wants to, he has to check out of this life on her schedule.
Totally, and completely whipped. Who would want to live like that? The Notebook totally disregards the male perspective and perpetrates this female dream, that if a man truly loves you, you can treat him like crap and he’ll still build a house for you.
The real problem with this is that when they are faced with a real relationship, they measure every guy compared to the dude in the Notebook. It is not realistic and those guys do not exist, and the sooner you understand the difference between reality and the movies the happier we all will be.
Birds Have Meaning In The Notebook
From the opening scenes to the end of the story there is a constant present of birds throughout the movie.
Birds have traditionally been seen as vehicles of messaging or of foreshadowing of things to come. These birds represent the story of Noah and Alli from the start to the end of the movie, at one time they even say, “I’m a bird.”, and Noah replies, “If you’re a bird, I’m a bird too.”
I think that the overall representation is that the birds throughout the movie show the perceived timelessness of their love. All of this just contributes to the myth that for every heartbroken Alli Hamilton out there, a Noah Calhoun exists just to make all of their inner dreams come true.
I suppose this could be the case. Perhaps I am so adamant because I have been hurt, or maybe even deep down I have a hope that love like this can exist somewhere. Either way, I will probably start a new tradition of watching this movie I “hate” every Valentine’s Day until either something romantic comes my way or I turn into a bird.
