Monthly Archives: April 2013

Questions

What I Would Do For You

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Would you break the law to save a loved one?

by Jonathan Hilton   Day 27

3417346270_thumbs_would_you_break_the_law_to_save_a_loved_one_xlargeAre there any depths that most people wouldn’t go to save a loved one in most cases?  Yet this may not be the best philosophy  to follow in many cases, but we do.

 That is the answer that I am going to give, that I would, but  I am not sure that in all cases it is the best thing to do, because the repercussions may ultimately be a negative for the person you love.  Sometimes loving someone is allowing them to learn the hard way.

Health and Physical Harm

I think in the most basic forms, most people wouldn’t hesitate to break the law to protect

I would even watch these guys to save you! These guys are really annoying!
I would even watch these guys to save you! These guys are really annoying!

the physical well being of someone we love, from a spouse, a relative or a child.  That is the easiest one to quantify.

I would break the law to do this, because as important as the law is, it does not mean a thing when you compare it to the value a loved one has in my life.  There is no limit to the length that I would go to do this.  I think of the loved ones that I have lost, due to old age and illness.

 If there was something I could do to save them and keep them in my life longer, it would have been worth it, no question about it.  Unfortunately we are not given this choice very often. Most often we are resigned to accept what fate deals us.

 

Learning the Hard Way

Saving a loved one can come with a heavy price sometimes when it becomes a blurry line of what people need to actually be saved from.

 hard wayIn life we all have to make decisions each and every day all of which come with a corresponding result. Since we made the decisions we are responsible for the result.  Sometimes I think people want to save their loved ones from any kind of “bad experience” at all.

 Even when the decision that led to any trouble was there.  building a line between where a person needs to be saved and where they need to learn is very difficult to do.  Many parents today seem to struggle with this, and that is not a criticism, just an observation.

I am not sure that I would be a good judge of this line or not.   Sometimes a lesson will only sink in when you have to experience the full weight of the choice that you made.

It Hurt But It was Good For Me

In my life I have been fortunate to have people in it who cared about me and in many ways looked out for me to keep me from harm. Yet I was also allowed to learn lessons, on my own.

000000Throughout my development as a human being, I have found that the hardest lesson to learn is that the only person responsible for your actions and the resulting mayhem is you.  Not anybody else, you and you alone.

 You can blame others all that you want, they did this or that was unfair, but in the end the good, bad, the joy or the pain are all laid directly at your own feet.  That lesson needs to be learned by everyone at some point, in order to continue to evolve.

 There is only one way to learn this and you have to let all of your loved ones learn it for themselves. You can be there to support them and help them put the pieces back together but I think you have got to let the lessons be learned.

It could be the Best Thing

Life has a way of giving us experiences that we need to have in order to grow and that is the case for everyone.  Sometimes the choice that we make, seemingly moves us backward.

Yet with the wisdom of time we see that the event or experience we first identified as bad, in the long run it provided us with the motivation or the skills to move to a height we never dreamed was possible before.

 There is a motivation is failure that has been spring boarding people to great heights since the beginning of time. I always hope that I have the wisdom to know the difference between saving and enabling. That is one of the lessons we must all learn in life.

 

Would you break the law to save a loved one?

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Questions

The Time Is Right for Right

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When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do what you know is right?

by Jonathan Hilton  Day 25

when_is_it_time_to_stop_calculating_risk_and_rewards_and_judt_do_what_you_know_is_rightIt seems that everybody in the world operates on a risk and reward model on which they base their actions on the chance of being rewarded or punished for the outcome of their actions.

Yet I say that the time is always right to act regardless of the risk or reward and this is why.

Right Makes Now The Right Time

All people make mistakes and have to regroup and learn lessons from those mishaps. Yet when it comes to right behavior, it is the responsibility of each individual to make a choice, and that choice is going to color your experience.

Martin-Luther-King-Jr-The-time-is-always-right-to-do-what-is-right-Framed-Quote-709 If you know something to be right and refuse to act still, the hesitation can only be defined as wrong.  What repercussion could be more devastating than making a conscious choice to not do the right thing.

There may be a price to pay when this happens but the price that you pay by not acting is much worse because it will affect your life in a negative way.

Many people believe that the energy that you emanate is created by the choices you make.  I tend to believe that in my own experience there is no wrong time to tell the truth or to do the right thing.

Any time I have failed to do these things, and I have failed often, the results were not favorable. Now is the time to stop calculating the cost and do what you know is right.

This Is What Lying Is

Isn’t this question the reason anybody ever lies? The risk and reward of truth vs a lie is the careful scale that every thought and statement is weighed on before we speak or record it to share with someone else.

I was once told that it is nearly impossible to go through a day without telling a lie of some tumblr_m4rh91ieDR1qch7b8o1_1280kind.  I didn’t believe it, but started to pay attention to all of my thoughts and actions.   I found that I was telling several lies without even realizing it.

In one situation, a friend called to do something and I didn’t want to hurt their feelings so I said I had to work late.  A lie, but one that I didn’t have to tell.  It was my perception that the reward of a bit of time to myself was worth the risk of telling a lie to a good friend.

 The truth would have been just as effective yet I still let that lie flow with no initial regret at all.  So what’s the harm, it is just to keep the peace.  Why hurt someone’s feelings unnecessarily?  That is what I questioned at the time.

As time goes by I think that one lie will inevitably lead to another, and maybe the next time you will use another rationale to justify it.  Even if it is bigger and maybe a little harmless.  Often this seems to be the path people start to travel as they justify not only lies but downright meanness.  By justifying it based on some arbitrary factor.

 I heard one person justifying treating someone badly because “they were rich”, also for “Being on Welfare”  Although this person obviously had some problems and blocks around finances, once you start to justify poor behavior for any reason, the reasons for acting poorly increase.

Why is This Important

The main reason why all of this doing the right thing is important is that in a world where imageswe are bombarded with the misdeeds of many in the mainstream media, the fact is that our honesty and good decision-making is something the we each have a personal choice in each and every day.

In everything that I have ever experienced there is never a wrong time to make decisions based on love and those decisions always move your life and the world in a positive direction.  Any other decision is made out of fear, and those choices will move your life in a negative direction and make the world seem bleak.

Only you can decide for yourself when it is the time to throw worry of the consequences out the window and do the right thing.

 

When is it time to stop calculating risk and rewards and just do what you know is right?

I am living and Dying with the choices I made.  Classic message, classic song.

Questions

Joy Looks Like This

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What does your joy look like today?

Joy Noun A feeling of great pleasure and happiness. A thing that causes joy. Synonyms delight - gladness - pleasure - mirth - rejoicing
Joy- A feeling of great pleasure and happiness. A thing that causes joy.

by Jon Hilton Day 17

Can anyone really define their joy as one particular aspect of a day or even a life?

I certainly can’t so when I started to answer this question for today I had many thoughts about what gives me joy right at this moment and in the overall canvass of existence.

 My joy today looks like many things of which I am going to try to give you a glimpse of what is making experience great pleasure and happiness today.

Freedom’s Just Another Name

There is something about times of complete and utter freedom that makes me extremely happy and fills my heart with joy!

freedom There are times in each day where you have to perform specific tasks for your job or your loved ones, and that has a reward on its merit.  Yet, most days, there are moments where I have complete and utter freedom to do whatever I desire at that moment.

What I want in life isn’t all that wild and unattainable. I like to write (surprise), I want to think, and I like to read.  Finding the time and freedom to do these things fills me with joy today.

 I think that having and exercising your free will every day for some time can make you feel rejuvenated and brand new. I know that when I have moments when there is no requirement on me other than those I place on myself are precious.

 In most days, there is a small portion where I experience the freedom of choice, and that looks like a joy to me today.

Be Creative, and Things will Flow

tumblr_la3fh5yX2q1qcgiqwo1_500I have always thought of myself as a person that lacked creativity.  Since I was a young lad, I was told that I lacked the artistic creativity that used to make art.

The sad part was not that people said these things, but that I believed them.  If you think this, it cripples your ability to find answers you are looking for in life.

For example, some writers suffer from writer’s block. They can’t get the flow going no matter how hard they try.  One of the most effective ways I have found to break down chunks of any kind is to do something creative.  I find that as I allow myself to become completely engaged in an activity that is on the creative side, generally, the blocks just go away, and words and ideas start to flow freely.

Surprisingly drawing is a form of expression for me, which allows me to do this.  Even though I really have no talent in this area, if I am struggling in thought, engaging in a brief drawing session will allow me to find some clarity. Creativity looks like my joy today.

The Music Man

musicI have often written about how much music means to me, and it is a daily love affair that is only limited by the number of songs that are available for me to hear.  I find that there is nothing that explains your emotions better than music or speaks to your soul like the words of a song.  No one genre brings me joy because many songs and artists I wouldn’t think I would like to perform songs that I find that I can relate to, at least to some degree!!

Music works magically like a time machine and transports you to different times in your life and you can almost more than remember those people who were in your life at the time, you can only touch them with your heart and feel them with your soul but touch them and feel them you do.

Songs by Billy Joel take me to 1985.  George Michael, (the singer not the Bluth.), reminds me of 1988.  Hey there, Delilah takes me immediately to 2007.  It is not a phenomenon that is unique to me.  I avoid these trips of nostalgia because today is pretty impressive, but there is a time for everything.

As I drive down the road listening to some great music from today and yesterday, I know that my joy looks like music today.

You Look Like Joy To Me!

I LOVE YOU! and all of you wonderful thoughts and creations!
I LOVE YOU! and all of you beautiful thoughts and creations!

If you are reading this, then you are what my joy looks like today.  I was thinking about what makes me joyous, and that is when something I write is read by someone else and has an effect on them in any way.

It can be a positive or negative reaction, but to be moved enough to comment, either way makes me very happy.

 As anyone who writes probably has realized, this is all just the thoughts that come into your head.  They never existed before you thought them and wrote them down.

 If someone else can read them and take something from them, find inspiration, commiseration,  or agitation, then I think that is pretty cool.

Like all great relationships, there is a two-way street. I read a lot of blogs, and if I didn’t have work to do, I would read a lot more.  It is all interactive literature for me.  I love reading about all things; it is the best way to learn new things.

 It is the personality and the presentation of the information that counts.  Much like music, there is an unlimited number of bloggers out there providing great information.  I learn something about interacting with each one.  I find new ones every day like a treasure hidden just waiting to be discovered.

Some of you have become great friends, and I feel I know you better than people I see in person every day.  So you reading these words right now, that means you, my joy, looks like you today.

Hey There, Delilah, by the time that we get through, the world will never be the same. 

 

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Questions

Some Things Worth Remembering

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 Have you done anything lately worth remembering?

21809682_have_you_done_anything_lately_worth_remembering_xlargeby Jon Hilton  – Day 16

Every day there are events that take place in our lives that we experience. Some are things we have to do, like work or eating.  Some are things we choose to do, like exercise or hobbies.

All of these activities combine to provide us with the experiences of our lives. There are some that you will remember always and some that you will forget almost as they occur.

 This is my attempt  to become more mindful of what happens each and every day and to make it so that each day is an event to remember and cherish.

The Power and Problems of Routines

Sometimes a routine can turn you into a sleep walker! Change.
Sometimes a routine can turn you into a sleep-walker! Change.

One of my major weaknesses as a human being is that I always try to put things into a routine. Organizing events in time so that they can be completed in the most efficient manner.

I have noticed the patterns I established in my life to do this.  From the time I wake up, to where I stop on the way to work, routines are good for making you feel secure.

 A routine will allow you to feel like you are in control and make you feel like you have some power, but in reality a routine can really be detrimental to your mindfulness of an experience.

 This is because once you march through life doing the same thing over and over, you start to do it without even thinking about it.  You are thinking about something else and just performing whatever task you are doing.

 People even get into a routine of interaction with others where the same people meet and have the same conversation every day.  You will know if this applies to you if you have a hard time remembering which day was which.

Change it Up and Live

New things can be powerful, but you have to try them.
New things can be powerful, but you have to try them.

Simple changes in your routine can allow you to appreciate the little things that you encounter each and every day.

I pretty much followed the same routine for about ten years at one point in my life. I could not tell you how any day was any different from another, except for the days where something happened to get me out of the normal existence.

Each of these moments I can recall with exact clarity, years later and it is because I was outside of the routine.

Focus on doing things Differently

Doing-Things-DifferentlyI am not able to do it every day but there are some days when I focus on doing things differently.  If I have fallen into a routine I try to do something different.  Wake up early, wake up late, eat a different food for breakfast, take a different route to work or stop somewhere I did not plan on.

The reason that these things will become memorable is because as you experience something for the first time you are mindful of it.  You can’t just go through the motions of something that you are not sure of.  This causes excitement and builds interest in your every day life even if you are not doing anything Earth shattering.

Why Each Day is Special

For each of us there is a clock which starts running the day we are born and runs out when we pass away.  There is no way to know when this clock will stop, it could be any second!

 I have always thought that if we knew we had a few days to live wouldn’t that change the way you existed.  Would you ever eat a meal that was so unmemorable that you can’t recall it two days later?  Or would you cherish and savor every drop of delicious goodness.

If you have ever experienced your own mortality, then you know that each second becomes something wonderful to experience and hold on to.  The sun never felt warmer, you remember the wind on your face. You know that you are lucky to be here and each moment is a gift.

You Choose What to Remember

seeing things differentlyIn the end I think that if there is anything worth remembering it is up to you.  You will always have the choice to remember today as the best day you ever had.

Or if you do not feel that today was a great day, then you have the chance to make changes in what you experience that will greet you on the next day.

I think that all of the things that I have experienced that have been unique, from the moments I spent talking to someone I had never met before to new experiences.

Everything I have done lately is worth remembering to me.

 Have you done anything lately worth remembering?

I Remember YOU!  Yes I am talking to YOU!

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I Celebrate What I Do Have

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Do you celebrate the things you do have?

celebrate-what-you-have Day 13 By Jon Hilton

It can be difficult in our society to really appreciate all that we do have today.  There is always another commercial that tells us what we should have, or how we should look, even though what we have and how we look is just fine.

 I think that I do currently celebrate the thing I do have, and not worry too much about the things I don’t have but it has not always been that way and it seems many other people have problems appreciating things as well.

The Culture of Want

This toy was really awesome, I used to wind it up and jump stuff, but it only made me happy until it broke.
This toy was really awesome, I used to wind it up and jump stuff, but it only made me happy until it broke.

From the time I was very young I can remember being bombarded and brainwashed with images on television which were designed to get me and my peers to desire products enough to scream until we started to get them.  From breakfast cereal made totally of sugar to toys that we couldn’t be happy without.   I was a child of the 70’s and that means that the marketing at the time was quite mild compared to today.

This was the manner in which the feeling of want was fostered in my generation.  It was built up even more as we grew older and became serious consumers. We needed to have certain things to be happy, and without those possessions happiness was going to elude us.  The biggest problem is that there is never a level where you have accumulated enough, you just see another level of consumption.

Captain Kirk was always a happy toy. Set your phasers to happiness and lets explore the galaxy!
Captain Kirk was always a happy toy. Set your phasers to happiness and lets explore the galaxy!

The young people of today are really the victims of a marketing in society which continually tells them not only what toys they need, but what clothes to wear, how their hair should look, and also what types of relationships they should desire.  The intended market is younger than you might imagine.  If you have young kids, watch television with them sometime, it is a non stop barrage of self esteem destroying marketing.

As for the adults of the world, you would think that after a while you would find a level of accumulating possessions where you would be able to sit back and say, “Wow, I have a massive amount of crap here, I am really happy.”

Yet you still do not feel happy, and corporate advertisers are happy about that, because they can start to sell you other things to fill the void and finally end your unhappiness. It is a fools journey, yet we all take it day after day.

Happiness Is Inside You All Along

happiness-comes-from-within-2I think that everyone eventually comes to the conclusion that happiness doesn’t come from things you buy.  There is always a feeling of happiness no matter how brief that accompanies buying a new thing.  Yet it also fades away quite quickly leaving you to wonder why you are not happy about the new car, Ipad, computer, or large screen television.

Real happiness can never come from things, ever. It is the lie of Madison Avenue that owning a certain product should make you feel a particular way.  No matter how many cars, houses, or electronic devices you own, if you are lacking appreciation for life on the inside there is going to be empty feelings of want and unhappiness left.

We actually put our happiness off by telling ourselves that when we own this or that then we will be able to feel happy.  When the choice to feel happy is really inside you each and every day during each and every moment.  All you have to do is notice it.

Appreciating Today

happinesswithin2Being able to celebrate what you do have is the path to happiness.  There are always going to be things that you don’t have.  Nobody can have it all.

 Yet you will always have exactly what you need at any given moment.  Appreciating what you have and the happiness that is with you right now at this second, seems to be the lightning rod that attracts more situations that make you feel this way.

  Look at the little things you have that make you happy, from the weather, to a cup of coffee in the morning. Whatever it is that makes you feel good appreciate it.  You will be surprised how many good things start showing up in your life to be appreciated.

Personally, I spent many years chasing the dream of owning all of my happiness.  Looking to the future and thinking when I get there I will be happy.  Only to find that there was always a new destination for happiness and it was always ahead of me.

 Now I think that I do appreciate the little things because they are in the here and now.  I have talked about my gratitude journal before and I mention it in passing again because I am grateful for the time each day that I spend being grateful for all that I do have. It is not magic but things seemed to clear up pretty well when I started feeling really grateful for what is in my life.  Rather than longing for, and feeling bad about what I did not have.  Or worse yet worrying about what might be taken away.

I do not know what “things” tomorrow will bring, but I do know that most likely they will be exactly what I need.  So I think I do celebrate what I do have.

 

Do you celebrate the things you do have?

You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes you’ll find, you get what you need.

Questions

Tell Me Who Do You Love?

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Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

who-do-you-love-what-are-you-doing-about-it by Jonathan Hilton

Love is a difficult topic to discuss because there are so many parts inside of us that can be exposed through this discussion, that it is easier to brush it off and make a joke of it, to distract from the fact that love is a huge part of being human and being happy on the face of the earth.

This straight forward question is kind of fascinating because it forces you to declare where the love in your life lies.  I realize that there are many different kinds of love we experience during the course of a life.  Love brings with it a wide variety of experiences from the fantastic to the horrible and it can all come from the same relationships.

I Love Everybody

love everyoneEveryone in existence loves someone. There is no way that you can’t.  It might be unrequited love, or unfortunate love or bad love but we all love someone.

With that premise in mind I answer that I have a feeling of love inside for everybody.  How can that be? Easy, because I believe that we are all connected and although our physical experience is different, there is a similarity that we all share.  Therefore to hate someone else is to hate myself.

There were many times when I looked at people with a much harsher eye. I judged people with a cool and unemotional dislike,  not liking those who were not doing what, in my mind they should have been doing.

It is easy to judge others because it diverts the attention away from yourself.  Most things that you find annoying or as shortcomings in others are the weaknesses you generally recognize in yourself.

I know that every person is living their life the best they can.  I can’t judge their personal decisions because I have not experienced the pain or joy that has influenced them.  All that I can do is to be accepting of people just for what they are because inside of them is a person who is very similar to me.

Even if they are mean, uncaring or cruel to me or others, I do not let their bad behavior and poor choices dictate how I am going to think or feel. I forgive them, that is all there is to do.  I would rather that then carry hate or resentment in my heart.  Hate is a virus and will destroy your soul and make life quite joyless. I have carried that load enough.

But You Gotta Love You

lucy loveOf all the people you spend time with in your life, you have to be the most important.  It is difficult for many people to consider that they love themselves, let alone to tell the world that they do.

For many years I can say that I never forgave myself for the smallest of mistakes.  I didn’t love myself, in fact I didn’t like much of what I felt or thought.  Yet in the end it is true that you can’t give love to someone else unless you first feel it for yourself.

I believe that each of us has a gift inside that makes us special.  When we were young we felt it and had hope for the day it would come to light.  Yet for me as for others, life pushed that gift aside and made us forget what we had.  Replaced by a chorus of  “you should”, “You Could have” , “You must”, “If only you would have.”

None of these regrets push you closer to your true self, in fact they push that truth deeper inside and make it harder to find.

I am not sure if or when I will ever find that light that existed in me, but I remember that it did at one time and I am searching for it feverishly because I know that it is fantastic.  The possessor of such a gift must be worthy of love no matter who it is, and therefore the first love I feel must be for myself.

What Am I doing About It

end loveWell anyone who has been reading my writings or talking to me in person will know that I am trying to live in a way that is representative of the best of me. I know that I have fallen short in many ways in my life and without the help of others I never would have  been able to start this journey. I never would have known what to look for.  So I follow the path that is laid out in front of me. One day at a time and experience what is placed in front of me. I accept others for what they are and try to accept myself the same way.  Love is the most powerful emotion in the world and all good things are an offshoot of this emotion.  I am doing the best I can to follow the feeling of love.

 

Who do you love and what are you doing about it?

George Thorogood Wants to know too! Listen Below