Seasons

Seasons-  each of the four divisions of the year (spring, summer, autumn, and winter) marked by particular weather patterns and daylight hours, resulting from the earth’s changing position concerning the sun.

It is a fortunate thing, to be experiencing the spring of the year! A wise person once said there is no way to stop the seasons from changing. That is true in nature, and it is true for your life as well, just like the planet rolls around each year, inevitably bringing an awakening, a vibrant life, and slowly a return to a darker cold slumber. So do our lives move as well. The sad part is that there are over 7 billion people globally, and a tiny fraction ever evaluates their existence in any thoughtful manner at all. The seasons provide us with a natural lesson on how to appreciate things.  Do you pay attention? Or are you caught in your own thoughts?  Look at the seasons of life, and you will appreciate the experience more.  This begins with really looking at the thoughts you entertain, the words you speak, and the actions in life you take because of all of these things.

Season of Eyes Shut

It seems like people live their lives and flow through the seasons with their eyes closed to the change that is coming to them. Each year the seasons move by and with them a lesson. Still, the young person is too involved in the physical world and what other people think of them to pay real attention to the knowledge the world offers—a chance to love, enjoy, and find experiences that color our lives.  Very rarely do young men and women remove their conscious thought from what they want to accomplish to imagine how it all fits into the big picture.

Worrying about your relationships, jobs, and living arrangements dominates thoughts. Life passes you by, and all you try to do is collect as many things as possible. The value of things is temporary, but the value of experience stands the test of time. Youth is wasted on the young, and the spring is wasted on selfish, individualistic behavior.  As you get older and time becomes shorter, you realize there is a reason for this, and you become envious of the time you had that is now gone. Unfortunately, others are frittering it away with their eyes tightly shut, looking at themselves and ignoring the world.

Enjoy the Seasons

It is common in the area I live to look ahead to spring during the winter.  It gets dark early, there are major snow events, and the temperature is frigid. But it provides a unique experience people in areas which are warm all year don’t get.  There are cold hard moments that come in winter. If you pay attention, they will wake you up to the soft, warm moments that will come as the calendar moves toward spring and summer. We all need to appreciate more warm, soft moments.  Winter creates this appreciation.

Spring brings hope and renewal, and summer brings vitality, fall brings sober acceptance of change, and then we are back to winter again. The seasons mimic the experience of our lives. As we age, we go through seasons, but most don’t notice these things are happening.  We are young in the spring, and our summers are spent doing, going, collecting, competing. Fall is the time you realize there is an end in sight, and winter is that end, like it or not. We all hope our winter is a long way away, but………………we never know.

Be in the Moment of the Season

There is nothing as inevitable as the passing of time, and the human experience is a finite thing. Our seasons are flying by, and all you have to ask yourself is, are you making the most of it, or are you wasting your time?  It really doesn’t matter what you do.  The human experience is a gift.  Think of the magic of experiencing a snowfall or a warm summer day with a cool breeze blowing.  Or the fall when the leaves are changing, and the crisp weather is a harbinger of things to come.  The wonderful hope of spring that revives us.

Please pay attention to your life and the people in it.  Spend your time and money accumulating experiences rather than things. Things are finite and provide joy for a short minute.  Experiences lead to growth and sharing and a life to be remembered.

So spend a little time in your day to be a little more conscious of the seasons occurring inevitably on your calendar and life. It all starts where you focus your thoughts and what you appreciate about life in every season—the words you use to express this appreciation to others and the actions which result. So look at your seasons and take a moment to enjoy them all.

“Nature gives to every time and season unique beauty; from morning to night, as  from the cradle to the grave, it’s just a succession of changes so soft and comfortable that we hardly notice the progress.” ~ Charles Dickens

Wherever in the world you may find yourself right now, we are about to enter a new season.

“The beat of drums and the blustering of summer fade away. Everything becomes quiet, more introspective, sad. Autumn always comes with such beauty.” ~ Jaak Drees

 

 

What I Like About People

What is the most desirable trait another person can possess?

What_I_Like_About_You_title_cardI think it is impossible to pick one trait another person can possess. So many factors contribute to a personality and allow you to get to know someone in a real and genuine way. So many people I have met don’t show you their true selves anyway because you would stay far away if they did.

 To narrow the multitude of traits to one would be much too difficult to do in the short time I have to write this to give five traits I think are desirable in others.  I could probably come up with twenty without working too hard, but the list of five will have to do. I am sure they are easy to find.

Be  Positive Or Go Home

Many people spend so much time worrying about the things they don’t have that they miss out on all of the great things right in front of them. The great thing 05d3a5f9a3a2203c98679a3a91b88b66is that this behavior is all choice.

 It is raining out.  One person complains incessantly and lets it ruin their day and everyone around them.  The other looks at it as a great opportunity to wear that colorful raincoat and those new rain boots.

 Being positive is a state of mind, and the negative person is always a chore to spend time with.  Being with a positive person makes the time fly by because it is enjoyable no matter what happens.

 Life is only going to give you a finite collection of experiences, and it is your decision if you want not to enjoy them.  I prefer to enjoy each of them to the best of my ability, and positive people make that happen. So you really have to choose your company well. If someone does not see the positive, think about finding someone who will.

Honesty Is The Best Policy

There are few people in the world that you can trust to be honest about important things. That doesn’t mean little white lies should always be frowned on because Honesty 22sometimes people don’t need to know your opinion. However, open and honest communication must build any type of relationship, romantic or friendship.

 The big things have to be dealt with honestly.  From your hopes and dreams to financial matters, honesty is not only the best policy but the only policy I think leads to long-term success in building a relationship that will last longer than a short six months.

Just because you haven’t been “caught” in a lie, once you lie, the relationship changes; usually, you are lying because you are hiding something. Whatever that is. Something you did or something about yourself: dishonesty is a hurtful, painful thing to impose on someone you theoretically care about.

 Once you start hiding things from someone you love, the list of things you are hiding will continue to grow.  Soon you won’t be able to remember which things you should be hiding.

When the truth comes out, and it will eventually, no explanation can work. So always be honest, stop doing things that you would have to lie about, and be much happier. But, more importantly, so will all the people in your life.

Laughing with Me Not At Me

222333Being able to laugh at life and, more specifically, at my sense of humor is one trait I look for. In addition, I enjoy laughing and sharing a laugh with someone else.

There is no way you can do that with someone sober in thought all the time.  Laughter is the best medicine for almost any problem.

 Some believe that laughter can lower your blood pressure and help you lose weight.  All I know is that laughter makes you happy and makes you feel good. Have you ever been mad when you have laughed uncontrollably? Of course not.  There is nothing to do but appreciate the humor of the situation.

 There are only so many moments in life, and it seems like we shouldn’t waste the funny ones spending time with people who have little to no sense of humor. Or spend too much time worrying about themselves to see the joy in many moments. So I don’t judge them, I prefer to leave them sitting in a quiet, dark house, and I will enjoy the laughter that comes naturally with life.

The Smart Choice

beauty-9Intelligence is another trait that I look for in others.  I do not know where I would rate myself on the scale of intelligence, but I know that I value the brains and want to spend time with these people. The intellect of the company you keep will determine how much you can gain from those interactions. Intelligence is one of the most attractive qualities I have seen in a woman. The ability to think, theorize, teach, and grow is the ultimate in individualism.

 Perhaps I hope it will rub off on me, but I know that intellect and intelligence are desirable.  There is something about a smart woman that makes my knees go weak.  I am not sure if intelligence is that way for everyone, but it is definitely for me.  There is always time for silliness in life, but also there is a time for serious discussion and thought. It is nice to have someone around who can share competently in both.

I could probably list many more traits like kind, caring, loving, punctual, accepting, tough, athletic, talented,  and that is without much thought. The fact of the matter is that there are many great people in the world, and they all have a unique set of traits that make them special, and I appreciate them all. But that still leaves the question for you:

What is the most desirable trait another person can possess?

One other trait must appreciate Dire Straits…

 

Something Big

Without purpose, life is an exercise in existence.  Tasks are completed daily for no other reason than to get to the next day. Some find joy in this, but for me, there has to be a purpose to achieve, a target to be acquired, a goal to be accomplished. It is in the pursuit of accomplishments we find out exactly what we are made of.  To find that holy grail, climb that mountain, sing that song, start that movement, or accomplishing whatever goal lights your fire.  The process is one that we all have to learn from experience to see what works for us. When I was fortunate to reach success, there were a consistent set of influences present.  When a failure has occurred, one or more seem to be absent.  Each of us is an individual, and our stories, beliefs, and needs are different, but these things will only help you.

Build a Solid  Foundation Not with the goal you pursue, but the one you build in yourself.  Develop honesty, integrity, trust, loyalty, love in yourself for yourself.  Every relationship and experience you experience allows you a chance to become these things. Regardless of your past, you are defined by the actions you take today.  Focus on this and build the foundation for success by making decisions that represent the best of you.  This foundation will not be fancy and isn’t done to make you popular or allow you to brag about your talent or accomplishments. This solid foundation is built in stone and gives you a chance to accomplish anything if you are honing your personal skills and standing for the right things. Honesty, integrity, kindness, gratitude, service, and joy of life seem to be a good place to start.

Commitment There is a constant and consistent effort needed to move your dream forward to a positive conclusion. There are going to be bumps in the road and challenges to face.  Anything of value comes with challenges attached. That is what gives these things their value. Stick with it through the tough times and keep plugging along toward what you want. The most beautiful, practical, workable philosophy won’t work if you don’t.  Keep taking action toward your goal, and don’t give up.  Be committed. 

Learn the Steps Goals are not all the same. Some are long-term, some are short-term, and some are intermediate. Learning to break them down into smaller steps and understand what each step means allows you to find meaningful action every day. Nobody goes from beginning to end in one step. It takes several to many steps depending on the size of the thing you want to attain. Be patient with your journey and learn what you need to.  Enjoy the steps, and they are the things you will remember most when success comes your way.

Picture it –  Imagination is not just a tool for daydreaming. It is a tool you can use to bring almost anything into reality.  Imagine your goal as if it is a reality.  See what it looks like, feels like, and picture the world with your goal as a part of it.  All things ever created started this way.  To be an image in someone’s mind brought everything ever created into reality.  Practice using your imagination always; it is a valuable skill that you can lose if you don’t use it. Visualization of something will allow you to bring it into reality, visualize it daily.

Be Accountable- Every day, you have the opportunity to move forward or backward. Only you can be responsible for your actions. If you choose to take a day off, you are accountable for the progress you don’t make on that day. Taking consistent, manageable action every day toward your visualized idea will allow you to move closer to making it a reality.  You are responsible for yourself and the actions you take or don’t take. Remember that nobody else is to blame, only you.  Be accountable to yourself always and accept responsibility for where you are.

Roll With It–  No matter where you are in life, life is always changing. The world around you will always change and forever. Don’t fight it. Go with it always.  It is the difference between positive growth in life and stagnation. Keep moving forward with a positive attitude.  Let go of the things that are outdated and relationships that no longer serve a positive purpose. Change is inevitable and constant, so grow with it.  I know this is easier said than done sometimes, painful experiences are not so easy to roll with, but the choice is yours. Follow the path to success or failure. There is no other direction.

Team Up–  When you set out to accomplish something, it can be an idea in your mind, but it takes others to really make things happen. Build a team that is like-minded, goal-oriented, and change-minded people.  It is going to take support, not fighting to get you to your desired destination. When like minds are employed in a venture, it moves faster, and it is a lot more fun.  Life is a game meant to be played in pairs. Find someone who believes in you and allow them to help you.  Understand what a great gift this is.

Tell Few–  Tell your plans to only those you trust because the first inclination of someone is always to discourage you and tell you what might go wrong or why your dream/goal/desire is unrealistic. Tell only those who will support your efforts. The process is hard enough without hearing negativity from your “support system.”  Better to keep it to yourself. But those of a like mind will support you. Those who care about you and love you will want nothing but the best for you. So tell few and never boast to most.

Write It Down –  Make the goals you are after a checklist and when you can check them off, do it and celebrate the win. No matter how large or small, celebrate it.  Putting it down in ink is a process that will allow the accomplishment to take shape in reality. There is a transformation from thought to reality when you write something down. It starts to become real somehow. Do this to your dreams, and soon they will become a part of your life.

Use Reflection– What you become seeking your goal/destination is far more important than what you get at the end. Skills will be developed that will allow you to achieve other things.  Take time to reflect on all things you do, and ask good questions about what you learned and answer them honestly and completely.  Reflecting on your experience is a powerful teaching tool for yourself.  Never miss a chance to look for personal growth.  Never let a momentary setback be the thing that derails you.  Each “failure” is a gift to accomplishing the ultimate prize. Don’t take failure personally. Take it for what it is, a lesson. Reflect and learn from it, and the perceived weakness of a mistake becomes a strength of your great accomplishments.  Reflect and learn.

There it is,  a simple method for accomplishing success at whatever you are seeking in life. All people have goals at some point. I urge everyone to keep setting them until the day we are no longer a part of this wonderful experience called life.  Whether you follow this process or develop one of your own is not important as long as you find one and know that creation and accomplishment are in your hands.

“You have to remember that the hard days are what make you stronger. The bad days make you realize what a good day is. If you never had any bad days, you would never have that sense of accomplishment!” -Aly Raisman.

“You were designed for accomplishment, engineered for success, and endowed with the seeds of greatness.”- Zig Ziglar.

“Nothing stops the man who desires to achieve. Every obstacle is simply a course to develop his achievement muscle. It’s a strengthening of his powers of accomplishment.”- Thomas Carlyle.

 

Thoughts

Trapped by a thought!
Trapped by a thought!

How is it possible that a phrase can get stuck in your head? Like a song that you wish you could stop singing in your head. The phrase is there banging to the beat of its own honesty.  All you can do is think it over and over again until it inevitably expresses itself in words.

The phrase in my head I read in a glimpse, as I was watching a video on YouTube of all places. It was a  fantastic video, and the message was I Am, and who hasn’t contemplated what finite groups of messy things compile themselves to create their existence.  I do it all the time. So why did this phrase jump out at me? Why won’t it leave my head?

The phrase is: I am trapped in a brothel of clowns and loneliness.

Now on first observation, the fact that it mentions clowns will grab my attention because I really have an uncomfortable feeling around clowns.  They are just creepy to me, and they must be hiding something behind that mask of paint.  I, for one, do not want to know what it is. But, on the other hand, I don’t want them anyway around me.

 

Stupid Clowns Always Bothering Me!

Stay away from me clown!
Stay away from me, clown!

Clowns have bothered me since I was a child, and I went to the circus with my family. These clowns were wandering through the stands doing “clowny” things, joking with the people who laughed along, encouraging him.  I was a timid kid, and this clown started asking me questions, like where was I from, so he could yell,  “Anybody else here from your town.”  I had seen him do it and was absolutely petrified to talk to him, he kept picking on me, and I eventually gave up my town name. Afterward, the clown said, “There, was that so bad?”

In my mind, I answered, “Yes, it was.”  for these reasons.

-I was scared to tell him where I live because he might come to find me.

-I thought it was a waste of time because I came from a small town, and even at a circus, I would know if someone was there I knew.  

– I believe that clowns are like ghosts, wearing perpetual smiles that mask a desire to do great harm. These apparitions would appear from nowhere to haunt me.

That phobia by itself was enough to bring this phrase life of its own in the movie in my mind. But that was only a part of it.

Emptiness In the End

Good Question
Good Question

Now back to the phrase, it also describes the way I have felt about much of my life. Even though you don’t feel or look lonely on the surface when you look beneath, into the depths, there is a truth that reveals itself when you are honest.  All of these people around me everywhere, yet they are all just players.

As Shakespeare said, “All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.”

I have often wondered about how the play of my life would look, incredible highs, unbelievably devastating lows, some boring times you would gloss over, and I think the bulk of the show would be my incredible experiences with love.  I was in love three times in my life, encompassed years, and each I guard because should anyone know the depths I was willing to feel, they might only show me pity because each was irrevocably destroyed and disregarded. So all that is left is the empty spaces of the places they once possessed in your soul.

At the end of such things, there is a feeling of loneliness that can’t be compared to anything else, and although we are playing our part with others.  As you wait around in the bar of life waiting for that next love to come along, that feeling of emptiness subsists at least quietly in the background, like the music setting the mood.

So here I am thinking, “I am trapped in a brothel of clowns and emptiness.”  Reliving those emotions of what I was irrationally afraid of and having the realization once again that what is gone will never be replaced.

Adventure

Adventure-an unusual and exciting, typically hazardous, experience or activity.

Adventure is a word most distance themselves from as they get older. On the adventuresurface, it sounds nice, but with all adventures, there is an element of uncomfortable challenge that one tends to avoid if they can. It is the attitude of not wanting to sleep in a tent in the wilderness when there is a perfect hotel not far up the road.  The adventure is disregarded for the promise of comfort and ease. I urge you to put aside the desire for comfort and ease and look for adventure in life. In moments of excitement and doing something difficult, you find out exactly who you are and what you are made of.  A night in a tent will make a much more interesting story than a night in a hotel sleeping comfortably.  Many experiences in life can be seen as an adventure if you train your focus on your thoughts, words, and actions.   

Escape the Ordinary

We work hard to establish an ordinary existence where there is little risk in what we face every day.  It makes sense, and certainty brings confidence and adventure illusion of control.  But we always must remember it is only an illusion.  Eventually, life is going to test you. Ordinary is not much of a training ground for this.  It doesn’t mean that you should abandon all comfort, but you shouldn’t hide from the uncomfortable either.

Think of the moments of your youth that you treasure the most. Were they the ones where you were comfortable without challenge?  Or were they spent doing something adventurous and allowed for growth and understanding of life? Weren’t the best challenges, adventures in proving someone else wrong? Thinking about the venture and putting the ordinary aside for a time allows fou to grow and become a deeper soul and better person.

Experiences over Things

The adventure will allow you to collect the most valuable of possessions, experience.  People tend to focus on the things they can own. A home and adventurethe junk you can fill it with are all nice, but they are just things. What we own does not define who we are. Possessions are just a collection of stuff, and it makes your life like a museum. Each piece has a perceived value to you, but in reality, those things do not make you a better person and help you grow. They are nice, but an adventure will supply you with an experience and a story to tell about that adventure.

So instead of working to buy something for its status, pay attention to the chance that every day brings to have an adventure.  This doesn’t mean you have to climb a mountain or go skydiving, although you could.  It just means that there will be some things out of the ordinary that you can try.  Each person has a different level of adventure in them. For some, trying a new restaurant is about as adventurous as it is going to get. For others, the sky is the limit.  It is the conscious thought and intent behind the action that counts. Try it for the experience. If you hate the experience, don’t do it again. Always look to add to your bank of experience. It will build wisdom and understanding.

And So the Adventure Begins

Each day is an opportunity to begin almost anything, and a new adventure is definitely an endeavor worth your time.  Be open to trying new things, adventuremaybe a little out of your comfort zone.  Push yourself just a little and see how far down the road it will take you.  It is one of the best ways to learn the lessons that life has to teach you.   One of my favorite stories has always been The Hobbit because it took a character out of their comfort zone and showed how great they could be.  Bilbo Baggins believed, “We are plain quiet folk and have no use for adventuresNasty disturbing uncomfortable things! Make you late for dinner!”   Yet it was in the adventure that he gained everything.  This could happen to you in your own experience.

It will begin by taking a moment to change your focus from fear to a willingness to try something new.  It begins with our thoughts, words, and actions.  See where your adventurous spirit can take you today.

Adventure Quotes

“Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.” – Hellen Keller

“Every man’s life ends the same way. It is only the details of how he lived and how he died that distinguish one man from another.”  -Ernest Hemingway

“Adventure is worthwhile.” Aesop

“‘It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.” J.R.R. Tolkien

“Every man can transform the world from one of monotony and drabness to one of excitement and adventure.”  -Irving Wallace.

“Two roads diverged in a wood, and I – I took the one less traveled by.”  -Robert Frost.

https://youtu.be/UtqwL-ZPhAA

 

Time, Time, Time

Positive Thought Project

Time~    the indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.

Life is nothing but the rolling of time and the experiences that each person collects along the way. We choose if we spend our time wisely or foolishly. Time is irrefutable, non-negotiable, and inevitable.  We only get a finite amount of it, and our consciousness should be spent considering how we spend this most valuable of commodities.  Evaluate your life and the people you spend time with, the thoughts you entertain, and the activities you participate in daily.  Are these things a valuable use of your time?  Be conscious of the things you love doing that make you feel alive and the people who add value to your life.  Then spend more time with them doing things you value.  It all begins with a conscious awareness of time in your thoughts, words, and actions.

Value of Our Time

Of all the possessions we have, time is the most valuable. Each of us has an invisible hourglass in which the sands of our lives are flowing continually. Unfortunately, we can’t see how much sand we have left, and ours could run out at any moment.  This fact should make people treasure every second. If you knew today was your last day, then what would you do? What would you say? Who would you want to spend your time with?

Look at what you want to accomplish and see if it honors the time you have left or not.  All of us are going to end this physical journey. That is the price for life. It doesn’t go on forever. That is what makes it valuable.  Yet too much of our focus is on things that really don’t matter.  How much money you have, the size of your house, the professional accomplishments, the time spent doing things that have little meaning and provide no real value to yourself or the world.  Look at your time as the most valuable possession you own because when it runs out, the game is over.

Wasted Time

So we can’t control time. It moves at its own pace, slowly moving forward toward the next second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year, decade, or century.  All that we can control is how we use our allotted portion.  We have ultimate control over that.  Every option in the world is available to you every day.  Do you use the time to become better? Or do you let time use you? This is the basic decision we all make with each mindless activity we choose.

Time is slipping by, and the opportunity you have to make a meaningful addition to your life is disappearing with it.  What do you want to accomplish?  Are the things you are doing with your time taking you closer to that? Or moving you farther away?  These simple questions applied to your activities, from work to personal relationships, should help guide you along the way.  Most importantly, look at your people. Spending time with people that support and build you up is vital. Don’t waste time with small conversations containing cheap gossip about others or participating in activities that do not honor you.  Time is marching, and your life is slipping by. Please don’t waste it. DON’T WASTE IT! Be conscious of what you are doing and who you it with.

Today

The strange thing about time is that it moves like a river. The important things are going to be gone and moved on downstream, and there is no getting them back.  So spend as little time as possible complaining about them.  It is wasted effort and will distract you from the things in your stream at this moment. Prepare for what is coming in the future but spend as little time as possible worrying about it.

Spend your time living in the moment available to you right now.  Today is the most precious of commodities. Every 24 hours, you get a new one, and they are full of potential and possibility.  Have thoughts about what you would like that possibility to include and take actions that will move you in that direction.  Learn from the results of the day’s effort, and tomorrow you will get to try again when it becomes today.

Focus on the time you are in right now and make choices that allow you to make the most of your time.  Make choices that honor you and what you want to accomplish.  Riches, fame, love, or anything else can come to you in time.

Be conscious of your thinking (or not thinking) about time, people you are spending time with, and the actions you are taking to fulfill your goals and dreams.  Always remember that the clock is running, and the choices you make will determine the joy and happiness contained in each precious second.

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.
“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.” ― J.R.R. Tolkien

“How did it get so late so soon?” ― Dr. Seuss

 

 

The Arrival of Happiness

Happiness withinHappiness does not come due to what we experience on the outside of us, it comes from within, and it is up to us to decide whether we are happy with our relationships, jobs, or lives or not. There are many reasons I believe this to be true, but here are a few of my favorite thoughts on happiness.

So Often We Rely on Things

For much of my life, I was a person who thought that it took things to make me happy.  A relationship, a house, a new car, or new clothes would make me feel like I was happy.

tumblr_lxrc7kkCNo1qcwoauo1_500Yet, like many people, deep down, I was not happy.  How can this be?  I dreamed of getting something and following a plan and got it all, yet I was not happy inside.   This feeling of unhappiness made me research how others look at happiness and what this crazy game of life should be about.  This is what I learned. If you found something or someone you rely on for happiness, then I feel sorry for you because if that person or thing is taken away, so is your happiness.  And worse you have no control over this, you are a prisoner of your situation.

Things Do Not Make You Happy

No matter how many things I accumulated, any happiness was short-lived and didn’t last.  Two things resulted, I wanted more stuff to get happy about, and I worried that I would lose my stuff, and of course, then I would never be happy.

Finally, I started reading about how happiness comes from within, and it is based on your thoughts, emotions, and perspective on life.   Regardless of your experiences, you always have the ability to choose to be happy about life.

Find What You Love, Love What You Find

The more people I meet, the more obvious it is that everyone is born with some skill or talent.  Many forget it as they grow up and have expectations put on them, and are happiness-quotes-1conditioned to think and feel as society tells them.

Think back to when you were young and the dreams you had. You may have dreamed of being an astronaut or a cowboy or whatever, I don’t think the dream is important, but the person who dreamed was. Remember them and how they thought before a world of expectations and conditioning turned them into what we are today.

I think that what you love will come to you.  It doesn’t really matter what book you read or a philosopher you follow, and all agree that finding what you love to do is important.  Once you find that, do it and don’t worry too much about the money, it will follow your passion.

Choose to Be Happy

If you look at some aspect of your life and aren’t happy about it, change that thing.  I know it sounds simplistic, but isn’t looking outside of yourself for an answer unnecessarily complicated? You look in the mirror and see what is there. You then choose what you think of that reflection.   Choose to look at that person with love and understanding, and you will find your happiness in other areas will go up as well.

Today I am grateful that happiness comes from within, and I hope that if you are unhappy with an aspect of your life, you will decide to change it.

  It’s a GREAT day to be ALIVE.

 

Luck

 

no such things as luckWe are continually hoping that our luck is good for much of our lives and it will bring us good fortune. Unfortunately, I have found over my life that there is no such thing as luck. Events occur, and we assign the value to them. They are not going to be to your liking simply because you have a lucky rabbit’s foot or find a four-leaf clover.  Luck doesn’t exist.

Luck is defined as success or failure due to chance rather than through one’s own actions.  I will admit that luck can be a compelling force in your life if you want to look at life this way. However, if you bow down to luck, you have to concede that you are generating its power, not luck itself.

Every other Step Skipped

stepsMy first superstition, I came up with on my own and for no apparent reason that I can remember, but when I was a kid, I would always go upstairs two times. If I didn’t skip a step on any stairs, it would mean bad things would happen. I can remember doing this as early as 5 years old and, to some degree, maintaining it through high school. Yes, I skipped a lot of steps.  The thing about it was, things happened regardless of how many steps I skipped. Some were pleasant; some were not so pleasant.  Even though it was clear to me that skipping a step wasn’t excellent luck, I continued to do it because it gave me the illusion of control. That is important for people when they feel powerless, I think.  Eventually, I just accepted that good and bad thing happen every day, and my skipping steps weren’t going to help the Red Sox win the World Series.

I have come to realize that it is how I think about things that count. Stuff is always happening around me, and since I live in the world, I am a part of some of it.  Some things are good for me and some that are not, but they are all just things.

You get experiences from them, but it is not luck.   If an asteroid falls from the sky and lands on you, you might consider that bad luck, but perhaps the lesson you were teaching was not for you but for others who know you.  Enjoy life and make every moment you have special because you never know when you will be struck by an asteroid and be killed.   That is the way of things, and it is how you think about things that count, not luck.

redsox********Note on October 12, 2004, I was heading home to watch the Red Sox play the Yankees in game 7 of the American League Championship Series. I stopped at a store on the way home with a moderate number of steps.  Thinking it couldn’t hurt, I skipped steps for the first time in many years.  The Red Sox won and went on to win the World Series for the first time in 86 years.  I was sure my old stand by superstition was responsible.

What’s Your Lucky Number?

numbersNumbers were always a superstitious thing for me as an athlete.  A good number would mean success and a bad one tragedy.  I had many good numbers in a lot of different sports and still remember every number I had on every team I ever played on ever.  My top number was 10. I for some reason, I felt like I could overcome anything wearing this.  The second was 17, which I loved because it belonged to my favorite Celtic.  The third was number 4 because it seemed extremely lucky for me.

Now I do not believe any luck in numbers because as I look back on the hard work and desire I had when those good things happened, that was a lot more to blame for my success than any number.  Other than a mental edge or positive thinking, no reason wearing one number or another has any impact on your performance or the outcomes of contests at all.  It is how you think that counts.

Hold Your Breath Now

cemetaryThere are several superstitions that you can look at that I have participated in my life.  When riding on the bus as a kid, it was “lucky” to raise your feet off the floor, cross your fingers and hold your breath as you rode past any graveyard.  I always did this, but only because everyone else did it, not for luck.  Often I would breathe and touch the floor to see what happened.  Nothing ever did.

Walking down the sidewalk in my little hometown, I would avoidcrack stepping on the cracks.  But really, after a while, there were places with a lot of cracks, and you really couldn’t avoid stepping on one here or there.  As I already stated, I was a cautious stepper by nature.  Yet even though I occasionally put my foot on a crack on the sidewalk, nothing untoward ever happened to my mother’s back or anybody else’s anatomy.

I Walk Under Ladders

ladderThis superstition made little sense to me. Even though many things can happen if you walk under a ladder, neither good nor bad fortune is dictated by it. In fact, as a college student, I worked for a contractor in the summer, and we often used ladders. I walked under them all of the time on purpose, and nothing at all ever happened because of it.

Now someone might argue that your life isn’t over yet, and bad luck could reign down on you at any second. I don’t worry about that because I have constructed a necklace made of four-leaf clovers that I wear at least once a week to combat any bad luck I may have built up over the years.   I walk under ladders because there is no such thing as luck. It is all how you think about it that counts.

This Little Black Cat Says."Good Luck!"
This Little Black Cat Says.”Good Luck!”

There is no way that you can convince me of the existence of luck in any way, shape, or fashion.  Some things happen, and we evaluate their value-based almost solely on how they influence us individually. The good news is that you don’t need luck. What you think about your life and your experiences is much more powerful than a lucky number or action could ever be.  Choose to think positively and see the good in events, and they will most often seem “lucky.”

Change Cycles

Change is a topic that comes to my mind often, probably because we are always experiencing its effects.  We are not the same today as we were yesterday, and tomorrow we will be different still. That is the way of life.  Often we move through our experiences seeing no difference whatsoever, but when you look back over the last ten years, we have, of course, experienced changes that are deep and wide from where we were.  There have been lessons learned, positive and negative. Beliefs have been built, destroyed, and built back up again.  Life is a consistent cycle of change from one thing to another. From this situation to that. Driven by a combination of our choices and the inevitable framework of nature.  The best we can do is have a talent for accepting the changes we can’t control and making good decisions about the ones we can choose.

No Choice Changes

There are many circumstances in life we have no choice about.  Who our parents are is not a choice, and we are born into the mercy of the adults in our lives. Suppose they provide a safe, caring environment or not is out of our control.  Were we nurtured and cared for or abandoned and neglected? Either way, at some point, we have to take responsibility for ourselves and decide what type of person we want to be. That is a choice that is ours individually.

Natural disasters occur, crime happens, loved ones pass away,  accidents of all sorts, and all are happening out of our control. Change is happening all the time.  We do not choose these things, but they bring change to our lives nonetheless.  The choice is always in how you deal with these changes.  Most people are faced with several watershed moments in their lives when life will never be the same again. What do you do in those moments? That is what will define you and your contribution to the world. You know them because you define your life as a time before this or after that.  We all are faced with unsought tragedy and challenges. How we choose to deal with it will be the factor that defines us.

Choice Changes

Then there are the changes we do participate in choosing.  Seeing something in yourself and wanting to improve it are common examples of this. To quit a bad habit, or to start participating in a good one.  All are choices.  We have quite a lot of control over our experiences in life through our choices in action and attitude. Most things can be fun, entertaining, and enlightening if you choose an attitude of enjoyment.  You always have the choice of being negative and wishing you were somewhere else. This will succeed in making you and all around you miserable, but that is a choice you can make.

When setting and achieving goals, change is what we are after. What do you want to accomplish? What are you willing to give to get it? What actions can you take? What resources can you take advantage of?  All of these choices will determine how quickly and efficiently you see the changes you are after. But more importantly, your attitude about achieving the goal will dictate the enjoyment you glean from the process and certainly how much you enjoy it.  The journey is a major part of the ride, and the steps along the path to the destination will provide stories and memories in the future. Choose to enjoy these slow changes on the way as a part of the process rather than treat them as something you must get through.

Change Your Level of Happiness

If you look at your current life experience and you are not happy with everything about it. Look for ways to inflict enjoyment into your life in all that you do. Change is constant and natural. We are going to change one way or another. Some we do not control, but many we do, and our attitudes toward this change determine the quality of our lives.  Take time to enjoy the changes that are happening, rather than fight against them, flow with them. k

As I stated in the beginning, change will be a part of our life experience from the beginning to the end, and we will move through a process. Experiencing good things and difficult things.  Never despair because of where you are or celebrate too much either. The unstoppable forces of change are working, and things will develop into something else wanted or unwanted soon enough.  Learn to embrace change. If we did not change, then growth would never occur, and what is not growing is going the other way.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” -Gandhi

“Your life does not get better by chance. It gets better by change.” —Jim Rohn

“When in doubt, choose change.” —Lily Leung

“All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy, for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter into another.” —Anatole France

 

Duplicitous

It has been an observation that all people are duplicitous, always have been, and always will be.  Some have more separation between their two sides, but we all have them.  This image of the apple makes me think of this.  Billy Joel expressed it very well,

“Well, we all have a face
That we hide away forever
And we take them out and
Show ourselves
When everyone has gone
Some are satin, and some are steel
Some are silk, and some are leather
They’re the faces of the stranger
But we love to try them on.”

What you show the world

I don’t think that anyone can argue with the premise because we don’t go around showing the world everything about ourselves. We show them what we want them to see or are comfortable with them seeing.  This apple is like that because you will see something undesirable if you look at the bottom, and it looks like it is no good.  However, if you look at the top, the apple still looks healthy and normal.  If the apple

hiding feelings
Be Careful What the World Sees

could choose to show you only its healthy-looking side; you would assume it was a normal and healthy apple without knowing the hidden damage underneath.  All people are this way to some degree.

Hide Your Damage

People hide their damage from the world for a couple of reasons.  First of all, nobody wants to be judged on the things that have happened and hurt them.  Nobody knows how much someone has been hurt or why. It seems a narrow thought process to label someone for one small part of their life.  Most often, judgments come from selfishness to point out someone else’s pain to hide our own. Or deflect attention from the very same issues in one’s own life.

masks
Are all outward appearances just carefully conceived masks?

Another reason people practice this separation is that if people knew their true feelings on things and issues, they would reject them, and they would lose acceptance in society.  This fear keeps many wearing their masks for their entire life, showing what they know will be accepted and hiding their different faces, regardless of the honesty behind them.

Why Be Shady?

It seems that people would be a lot happier if they could be who they are, think what they want, and be allowed to heal their damage. This is the way of the human condition, and we will continue to exist like the apple showing what we believe to be our shiny side to the world while we hurt underneath.

It makes you wonder if everything you see from people is just a mask or if they are trusting you enough to show you what they really think.  That is why people like dogs because you always know exactly where you stand with them. I have met people I thought I knew well, who proved over time to be hiding their true self behind a veil of lies and misinformation.  I can’t judge too harshly.

Keep To Yourself

How much of myself do I keep to myself? Just because I don’t want to put myself in front of the speeding train of judgment.  Much like all of our superheroes, Superman, Spiderman, Batman, and the like, they maintain a “secret” identity to protect a part of themselves.  I think it is to give them a safe space to live, outside of the public pressure of being Superman.  I think there is a bit of that in all of us.

Regardless of where you stand personally on the subject of duplicity, I will know that you, as well as everyone else, have a duplicitous identity. I guess the trick is to see which side of themselves any person is choosing to show you at any one time.