Life is full of questions. One of the best ways to gain information is to ask others who already have the knowledge you want to get. If you want to make changes in your life’s experience, learning to ask questions is essential. Being willing to show you don’t know something to learn something is following the growth mindset. Why is this the case? How do questions work? That is what I hope to answer here, today.
How do Questions work?
Asking a question immediately changes your focus. The tone of the question will guide a person to investigate more of the same. What am I happy about? This is a question that is going to lead you to focus on what you are pleased about. You have no choice if you answer it. It will lead to a list of positive things, and it is challenging to feel poorly after that. If you ask, am I disappointed with you? Then you will open up that negative path for you.
This focus can work in conversations with other people as well. Guice them on a more positive path by asking them the right questions. Others have to be willing to go down that path, but if they take a few steps and start answering the question, the rest will take care of themselves. Questions dictate your focus, so ……….What could I be happy about? What is excellent in my life right now? What are you truly grateful for?
Thoughts We Want from Questions
In establishing that focus on questions, you are allowed to determine precisely what you delete from your consciousness at this moment. Focusing on what you want to have will allow you to eliminate all oppositional thoughts. The human mind can only hold one idea at a time, and if you are focusing your thoughts on what you want or need to do to get it, the seeds of doubt have no room even to be planted, let alone an opportunity to grow.
Challenges are going to occur in life. Rather than spending your time complaining about the challenge and giving away all your power, spend some time asking good questions about the challenge and determine how to eliminate it from your life for good. Learn to focus on your desires and delete all oppositional and negative thinking. What can I learn from this challenge? How can I grow from this?
What is Available to You?
Everyone has a list of resources available to them. These are the people and things we can count on to help us achieve our goals. Learning to ask meaningful questions can lead you to contact new people or develop a new skill. How can I turn this around? What is here that I am not seeing? What action can I take right now that will move me closer to my goal?
As you ask questions, the mind has no choice but to seek an answer. That is how we work if we are sober and thinking straight. How can my performance and production be improved? Learn to be curious toward positive achievement, and positive achievement is what you will experience. Questions will open doors, not only for outside opportunities but more importantly for inner growth and personal empowerment through action.
Hear. Listen well, take manageable actions and do the best you can.
How can asking questions change your life today?
“It is not the answer that enlightens, but the question.” – Eugene Ionesco
“The key to wisdom is this – constant and frequent questioning, for by doubting we are led to question, by questioning we arrive at the truth.” – Peter Abelard
“A wise man can learn more from a foolish question than a fool can learn from a wise answer.” – Bruce Lee
How I often approach change. It can be scary! I need to perfect the art of laughing!
There is little in life as frustrating as change. Whether we want it or not, it comes along in life and forces us to do something other than what we have been doing, whether we are ready to stop doing it.
Most people, if not all people, have at least a passing disdain for change, and I think there are good reasons for this, yet I think we also all are well aware that change provides positives we need. How to deal with this mystery of inevitable and painful movement from one phase of life to another? That is the inevitable question.
Why Change is Hard
As humans, I think it is natural that we find comfort in routine. It is always safe to get up at the same time, follow the same patterns of life. Depart for work at about the same time each morning and throughout whatever you do during the day.
We do this because it is safe, we do this because it represents order, we do this because it is reassuring. If you don’t think so, disrupt someone’s routine, even for one day, and watch their reaction. It is all a perception and illusion of control. We control so little in reality that seeming in control of our routine gives us comfort.
Our minds are constantly seeking safety and the ability to know where our place in the world is. The world will not end if you do something different, but sometimes it may just feel like it.
Choosing to Change
If you are choosing to change, then something must be significantly amiss. In my life, these choices of change have been around wanting to get into shape or a different job, but deep down, they were because I was not happy with life as it was, and the only chance to find happiness was to change.
It could be a new workout routine, a new job, or a new relationship. New is a nice word for change and makes you feel better about what you are doing. It also gives confidence to the outcome, which is always unknown.
One of the great things about choosing to change is that you feel like you have some sort of power in the decision-making process. It may be an illusion, but it still provides you with a great chance to feel empowered. Enjoy that kind of change because the other type isn’t so very nice.
The Other Kind of Change
This is the change that comes on you from nowhere and doesn’t give you an option. It simply gives you change. Death of a loved one, an accident, an illness, a spouse leaves you, or you are laid off from a job.
There are many examples of this, and these are the changes that can kick your teeth in and jump up and down on you until you don’t think you can take it another second. The great unwanted moments of life upsetting your nicely ordered life.
Unwanted change is like the tide, inevitably pouring in no matter how you try to stop it, and it leaves behind a clean landscape. Often the changes required of us are so significant we get swallowed up by them for a time. There is an almost numb feeling like life is happening and you are there, but you are more observer than a participant. This is a temporary feeling. Until you get your bearings back and can navigate through the new circumstances, be brave in times of change, and eventually, you will gain your bearings.
Hope of Change
Even though this change can be pretty awful to experience, it is not the end of the world. It just seems like it.
When you can look at change from the experience of surviving it, you can start to appreciate the growth you have had. The pain of loss or suffering has become a part of your history, faded a bit, and now is replaced with wisdom. This is the learning that life will give you one way or another.
It is a frightening proposition. If things are going great, you should appreciate them for all of their nuances and uniqueness. The hope in change is that it will always bring us closer to where we should be, meaning to me, closer to our authentic selves. We have to be aware of what lesson is being taught.
In my journey, there were times I was satisfied yet unaware that I was many, many miles away from where I needed to get. To be the best version of myself. Whether I am any closer to that is yet to be determined, but I am hopeful.
My Choice of Change
I promise myself that I will go easy on my fear of change and realize that it is just a natural reaction and emotion. People often will stick with a job, relationship, or life that isn’t working because even though they may not be ideal, they are known and therefore less scary than the unknown coming down the road even though the unknown may be perfect.
Cast off your line and let your ship move into change seamlessly. There is no avoiding the specter of change, and your only choice is to fight and resist it or to ride the wave like a surfer.
If there were no change, nothing terrible would ever get better!
“If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t go anywhere.” –Unknown
Like everybody else in life, there have been times when I have been faced with circumstances that were not the most pleasant to deal with. There are really only two choices as to how you decide to face these moments in life. One is to act out of fear, that you may lose what you have worked for or be hurt irreparably by whatever misstep has come your way. Or you can face the challenge of the situation head-on and with courage that you will not be conquered by the events of your life and you will not shrink from them. You will come out on the other end a stronger, better person. Courage is defined as mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty
Quotes of Courage from the Cowardly Lion
I have always liked the Cowardly Lion in the Wizard of Oz, how he realizes that if he would just face his life with more courage he would be more happy and successful. The best part is, that just like all of us, all of the courage that he ever needed was inside him all the time just waiting for him to have the confidence to use it. He just needs to get beyond the limiting belief that he is a coward and always will be.
The ability to summon up courage from inside yourself does not have to be done with a formal ritual, or a special process. It has to be done by believing in yourself, and your value as a human being. I know that is all well and good, but how do you really do that? Get by the catchphrase and summon up the courage that you need.
“Courage. What makes a King out of a slave? Courage.
What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage.
What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage.
What makes the Sphinx the 7th Wonder? Courage.
What makes the dawn come up like THUNDER?! Courage.
What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the “ape” in ape-ricot? Whatta they got that I ain’t got? Dorothy & Friends: Courage!
Cowardly Lion: You can say that again.
I Can And I Will-Quotes of Courage
One of the best frames of mind you can build to bring the courage out from inside you is to have the “I can and I will” mentality about life.
When you are faced with a difficult task, that you think you may struggle with, repeat this phrase to yourself, “I can and I will”. At first, you may not quite believe it, as you try to fight through your own insecurities and fears.
Keep thinking it, “I can and I will”, soon as your past failures and personal limitations fall off to the side you will begin to feel the confidence of this statement, “I can and I will”, your own well of courage which is inside each of us will start to bubble to the surface. At first like a few small bubbles but as you continue to think and believe, “I can and I will”, more and more will come to you.
Each challenge you face will be faced more and more easily with the courage you have inside you. You will not always be successful, but you will start to realize that failure will not permanently define you, but your courage will. You will start to reach higher for things you once never dreamed you had the ability to reach. And if you fail? So what, “I can and I will” , what you are looking for will happen for you.
Courage is better than fear
F**k It You Can Do It
Why then is it so hard to reach inside and summon up the courage that is in each of us just waiting to be used?
Most often it is our own limiting beliefs that stop us from reaching for what we want. Limiting beliefs are thoughts that have been said so much by ourselves or others that we have finally just stopped questioning them and accept them as true, regardless of what they do to us.
Examples, “I’m not smart enough”, “I don’t have the talent”, “I am too ugly”, “Good things only happen to other people”, “I can’t”, there are many more.
As you can see if you allow yourself to be boxed into your life by believing statements that are limiting you, you will never be able to reach your potential. And the bad part is that these limiting beliefs become, in ways, very comforting to us. They explain why other people are happy and we are not.
If you are hearing that little voice inside your head that is repeating any of these types of limiting beliefs, there is one thing you can do today that will start to erode them away. Just say, “To heck with that, I’m awesome.” This phrase carries with it the appropriate emotional emphasis to get you through whatever limits you have placed on yourself and/or your abilities. Try it when your limiting thoughts come up, “I’m too fat.” Reply with, “To heck with that, I’m awesome, I am not defined by my weight.”
You will find that once you start to overcome these limiting beliefs, there isn’t really a lot of things that can stand in your way. Another example is, “Success in business is for other people, not me.”To heck with that, I am as smart and deserving as anyone else in the world. I can be successful, all I need to do is try.” Try this with one of your own limiting beliefs and you will see that you have the courage to fight for yourself and to get what you deserve to be happy. Because the bottom line is that we all deserve to be happy, even you! Our minds need to be reminded of this continually. If you don’t control your mind, someone else will.
I could rattle on all day, but the essence of this article can be boiled down into one sentence that I hope you will read and remember:
We all have courage inside us that will allow us to achieve all of the great things we want to achieve if we will just use it.
That is it, put aside the fear, and limiting beliefs that have held you down for years and summon up the courage that we all have to strive for a dream, or to reach for the goal. You may or may not get there, but courage allows the journey, and the journey is what life is all about.
Quotes of Courage
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.” – Ambrose Redmoon
Courage is not living without fear. Courage is being scared to death and doing the right thing anyway. – Chae Richardson
Courage is looking fear right in the eye and saying, “Get the hell out of my way, I’ve got things to do.” -Author unknown
Live your beliefs and you can turn the world around.—Thoreau
It is easier to find a score of men wise enough to discover the truth than to find one intrepid enough, in the face of opposition, to stand up for it. –A.A. Hodge
It is curious—curious that physical courage should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare.– Mark Twain
Cautious, careful people, always casting about to preserve their reputation and social standing, never can bring about a reform. Those who are really in earnest must be willing to be anything or nothing in the world’s estimation, and publicly and privately, in season and out, avow their sympathy with despised and persecuted ideas and their advocates, and bear the consequences. —Susan B. Anthony
Following the path of least resistance is what makes rivers and men crooked.–Unknown
Silence is evil’s closest ally. –Gary Amirault
Whenever you find that you are on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect.—Mark Twain
You must be the change you wish to see in the world.—Gandhi
New paradigms put everyone practicing the old paradigm at risk. The higher one’s position, the greater the risk. The better you are at your paradigm, the more you have invested in it, the more you have to lose by changing paradigms. –Joel Arthur Barker
True courage is not the absence of fear—but the willingness to proceed in spite of it.–Unknown
Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win, by fearing to attempt. –William Shakespeare
A certain amount of opposition is great help to a man. Kites rise against, not with the wind. – John Neal
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius — and a lot of courage—to move in the opposite direction.– E. F. Schumacher
In the end, they wanted security more than they wanted freedom. –Edward Gibbon (The Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire)
Everyday courage has few witnesses. But yours is no less noble because no drum beats for you and no crowds shout your name. –Robert Louis Stevenson
One man with courage makes a majority.– Andrew Jackson
We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light. – Plato
To know how to say what other people only think, is what makes men poets and sages; and to dare to say what others only dare to think, makes men martyrs or reformers. –Elizabeth Rundle
Fear comes from the Adamic nature—faith comes from the Christ nature– Jacquelyn K. Heasley
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I -I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.–Robert Frost
People tend to want to follow the beaten path. The difficulty is that the beaten path doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere.–Charles M. Mathias
If you find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn’t go anywhere. –Unknown
But the bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them,glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it. –Thucydides
I cannot give you the formula for success, but I can give you the formula for failure, which is -try to please everybody.–Herbert Bayard Swope
Behold the turtle. He makes progress only when he sticks his neck out.–James Bryant Conant –
The greatest mistake is life is to be continually fearing that you will make one. –Elbert Hubbard
All progress has resulted from people who took unpopular positions.–Adlai E. Stevenson
Evil triumphs when good men do nothing. –Edmund Burke
I think of a hero as someone who understands the degree of responsibility that comes with his freedom. –Bob Dylan
Except a person be part coward, it is not a compliment to say he is brave. –Mark Twain
There are a thousand hacking at the branches of evil to one who is striking at the root. — Henry David Thoreau
The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. –Martin Luther King Jr
Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage. –Anais Nin
We reflect on taking the lessons and providing value to our experiences.
Recently I had a birthday, which means many years ago, I entered this game of life and am still trying to figure out how the swirl of thoughts, emotions, and corresponding actions connect to build our lives. I always thought I would have all the answers by now, but life is a tricky experience. You move past one veil, answering some questions only to find there are five more waiting for you there. On your birthday, I think it is your obligation to yourself and the experience of life to look at the lessons you struggled with, overcame, mastered, or are still working on over the past year. By assessing your experiences and taking the lessons, they teach with gratitude. It is possible to make even outwardly negative things favorable for you. So here is my look back at the last year, a reflection of gratitude. Also though this was not an easy year, easy life is not necessarily a good life.
How has my year been?
I think it is best to reflect on the year in lessons learned, and here are a few of the valuable things I have learned. There have been many challenges, a ton of new information as well. So with all that a great year, I also managed to make it to the gym every day of the year.
Enjoy every moment because life will change, and those things you love may be gone, and there is no way to bring them back. We are only really guaranteed this moment, and that is it. If you share it with someone else, that makes it a memory. I am grateful for all the moments I have shared with others over the past year.
I am responsible for my level of happiness and enjoyment of life. It isn’t anyone else’s fault if I am not happy with my life, job, or choices. There are going to be times which are easier to be pleased with than others. It is up to us in our experience to choose to enjoy them or not. Not everything is pleasant, and there has been plenty of difficulty and pain in my year, but I prefer to focus on the good rather than the bad. There is always some glimmer of good behind a cloud of sadness. Seek it.
Deal with your emotions, or they will deal with you. We all have feelings, and they are attached to every thought we produce in our minds. To ignore them is to ignore a message from your heart. We often get a negative feeling, and we don’t like it, so we move away from it as quickly as possible. I hope I have learned to move toward it, look at it, and understand it a little bit more. Sadness, anger, fear, and emotional cousins are not favorable to experience, but they are a natural part of being human and not so scary to handle.
Embrace them, see the thoughts that brought them to you. Usually, it is some residual memory of the experience, and always understanding takes away the fear and allows you to heal. I have recovered a lot this year. There is minimal teaching provided to us, helping a person learn how to develop emotional health. We are at the mercy of intellect and experience.
Enemies and Friends. This year I have learned how our thoughts can be our greatest enemies. How we choose to think about ourselves, our abilities and other people control much of our reality. A change in perspective and the way you feel about things can make your whole life seem different. The human mind, both complex and pleasant, can only focus on one thought at a time, and you control where that focus lies if you want to. Where your attention goes, energy flows, and if you are spending time on the negative, you will find more negative. If you spend time on the positive, then you will find more positive. This focus will determine how you see yourself and control what you can accomplish in life. Your thoughts always and drive you towards a direction you would like your life to take.
Learning is power. I have increased the things I learn about by merely using my commute time for knowledge rather than just mindlessly listening to music. Music is excellent, and I love it, but all the thoughts tied to it are from the past. I have started filling that time with podcasts, TED Talks, philosophy, audiobooks, and anything else to teach me something positive. Of course, it has helped me learn and put me in an intensely positive mood entering any day. Which has helped me, and I think it helped others as well. Learn wherever you can, new ideas, how someone else did what you want to do. All knowledge makes you better and drives you to new creations and accomplishments. Learn, grow, be better. Our growth is never complete, no matter how old we are.
My year was good, like any, I think. There were high highs and low lows. Sometimes I was very good at dealing with things and others. I was a work in progress, and that is OK. People have loved me, and some have hated me for whatever reason. In the logbook of my life, I think it has been a watershed year and one I will continue to learn.
Am I Satisfied With My Choices?
We make a thousand decisions every day. One of the things I learned about this year is that we make 95% of our choices subconsciously every day, which means our programming is running our life most of the time. If that programming is faulty, you will be continually making the same mistakes, doing the same things which may not be so good for you. So I have made several small changes I hope will have lasting effects on my success and enjoyment of life.
Time of reflection- I have tried to add short moments during the day to take inventory of what is happening during the day. One is at lunchtime. I try
Look into the sky tonight and know I am here today, in a year, in ten thousand years.
to take just five minutes during the day to enjoy the moment. Wherever it is. If the weather is beautiful and I am outside, then to be experience happiness about being alive at that moment, looking at a blue sky, or seeing a bird fly by. These things can affect my thoughts and make me happier and feel a connection to the positive in life. Another moment I have taken is no matter how busy, hectic, or long a workday has been, I take five minutes at night to sit outside and look up at the night sky and be grateful. I look at the stars each night for just a few minutes, and it reminds me of all the people I have known who are gone. I often wonder how many others are looking at the same sky and having similar thoughts. Maybe there are none. I hope that after reading this, there will be just one more. These moments have brought a little balance and daily gratitude to my experience of life this year. I am delighted with this choice.
Forgiveness- I think it is human nature to look at situations that hurt us, be angry at the people involved, and cast blame in their direction. I have made a choice not to do this. I am responsible for my emotions and the situations I have put myself in. I forgive anyone who hurt me and ask for their forgiveness for anything I have done. That is a choice that makes me happy. Life is too short to waste being angry with past events. Especially when the future may be the story you choose to write today. I wish to focus on the road I am on and what might be ahead because the best days are just around the corner.
In a nutshell, I am pretty happy with the overall choices I made this year because they have placed me here at this moment, and that is a pretty great moment to be experiencing.
I did My Best
I have been nowhere near perfect, but perfect is overrated. In the seams of mistakes, we learn the lessons that allow us to develop our knowledge, skills, and authentic personalities. I hope I have done my best to treat others well, take the lessons of the past, and apply them positively to my life. I did my best to be healthier both mentally and physically to be fully present in the current moments I have. In that way, I can enjoy things like writing this or going to the gym later and then just having time to contemplate, read, learn, or enjoy whatever is happening at that moment. In the final analysis, faced with positive and negative experiences, I have endeavored to be true to myself and remain on the positive side of things. I have tried my best. It hasn’t always been easy, but that makes it valuable. My heart is at peace.
In the words of Rob Thomas…….. I am not afraid of getting older. I am one less day from dying young………….
Knowing what you want can be the most challenging thing to become aware of for many people. Knowing what you want is a big thing. It sounds like it would be easy to state what you want, like enjoying a lot of money, love in your life, or freedom to do what you want. All of these are great but very vague and lack purpose. The why of any goal is going to provide the fuel to the achievement of any kind.
Every goal and desire will come with a series of steps that need to be accomplished to reach the great purpose. This is the journey. As with any trip, it is going to take perseverance to run a successful conclusion. That is the ability to keep moving forward despite obstacles and setbacks you encounter on your way. Developing a solid case of perseverance is the key to most successful adventures because you can keep your eye on the prize and overcome whatever gets in your way.
Nothing Is Perfect
Many times, we start a journey, and we have expectations built up in our minds about what a successful conclusion will look like. We become so attached to that vision that any other decision, regardless of value, makes us suffer. Allowing things to come to us in their way and time makes the most sense.
It is often easier to do nothing at all and take no steps toward your goals because you are worried that you will fail. And then what will happen to your grand plans? Rather than worrying about failure, think of how you can turn a perceived setback into a positive in your life. All goals and accomplishments are completed in a process, and there are lessons to learn on the journey. Nothing is going to go perfectly as you see it in your mind all the time. There may be valuable nuggets of information that you need to find before ultimate success is yours. Often, the hurdles you have to jump and the rocks you navigate around provide the best memories.
Set an Intention and Stick To It
One of the best ways to maintain your momentum in pursuit of your goals is to develop a positive and powerful intention that is easy to understand and easy to stick with. The power of intention is to allow your energy to be directed toward a goal in a concentrated way. It will also act as a compass for you when you get a little bit off track. Writing down your intentions gives you a chance to feel if it is something you want to accomplish.
Intentions are the key to starting the ignition of accomplishment and knowing exactly what we want. As I said before, many people drift around different things, never committing to what they want. That leads to a life of floating around, fluttering from one thing to another. Choose an intention, make it a goal, follow it to its conclusion, and evaluate it. Just because you think you might want something doesn’t mean you do. And that is just fine. It is called learning, and that is what life is all about. Set an intention and stick to it until it comes into reality. Then choose another one and do the same thing again. How else can you live the life you live.
Attention Please
Along with thinking about where you would like to go is paying attention to daily focus. Are you distracted by work? Other projects? Fears? Lack of confidence? Or is your attention focused on the things in your day that will lead you toward your goals and intentions? Where your attention goes, that thing will grow. If your attention is removed from it, then that thing will dwindle into nothingness.
Focus your attention on the positive things you want in your life. No matter what you want, make a plan, follow it through, focus on your goals, intentions, attention, and stick to it no matter what.
Take These Steps
Determine what you want to achieve.
Break down how you will get there.
Write it down.
Make it stick.
Do one thing every day that brings you closer to your goals.
“It’s not that I’m so smart, it’s just that I stay with problems longer.”-Albert Einstein.
“I will persist until I succeed. Always will I take another step. If that is of no avail, I will take another, and yet another. In truth, one step at a time is not too difficult. I know that small attempts, repeated, will complete any undertaking.”- Og Mandino.
“A failure is not always a mistake. It may simply be the best one can do under the circumstances. The real mistake is to stop trying.”-B.F. Skinner.
How much of your time is spent being an authentic you? How much is spent acting like you feel our culture determines you to be? How is that identity even established? What difference does it make? So much of our time is spent developing this persona, which, when examined closely, isn’t very real at all. We create this imposter ourselves by trying to fit into the roles our culture demands. Go to college, get married, have a career for thirty years, retire and wait to die. If it isn’t time to let go of that false now, then it never will be.
False Self
Each day there is an image of myself that I imagine the world sees. What precisely the idea entails is a mystery. I certainly hope that intelligence, kindness, and caring are a part of the picture. It is not the substance that concerns me, and it is the inability to ask for help or even appear vulnerable that is bothersome. There are times when people get lost, down, and dangerously sad, but still put on a convincing smile and hide the pain and suffering you are feeling.
The pain and suffering are what they are. Each person has found their own story of this anguish. Although nobody would call pain and suffering good companions, they can supply a sufficient education and help develop a depth of character that didn’t exist before. Kindness is no longer a word but an action. Understanding someone’s actions comes far before judgment because of my education in this area. Recognizing the false self isn’t who you are but who you think you should be to fit in. Put all the thoughts of others aside and start to listen to your intuition about what will make you happy.
I Let It Go
It has become time for me to let go of what others think and what I feel about myself because of the fear that others might contemplate my choices, decisions, and thoughts. For the first time in my life, I have to embrace who I am, faults and shortcomings included.
I feel that only by doing this can I move forward, away from the falseness of the past and toward a future that includes an honest reckoning of what I want to accomplish in life. Time to let go of the expectations that I feel others have built up in my life, embracing the contribution that I can make that matters is only as myself. Not a prefabricated idea of a person that is only an illusion of living.
The True X Marks the Spot
In all of the greatest stories about treasure, there is
What glory is located at your X?
Always a map, and at the location of the great treasure, there is a giant X. There are many twists and turns on the path to get to this place, and often danger exists. I think that my true self is a lot like that. There is a valuable treasure of gold if you can reach the X, but getting there has been a tough road, sometimes fraught with danger and difficulty. Inside there were more profound struggles than anyone on the outside could know. I feel like slowly, but surely the X is coming into view for me.
Would you rather have less work or more work you enjoy doing?
In my life, there has always been a peculiar relationship with work. There were years where I immersed myself in it and built much of my own identity around what I did for a job.
This is comforting because it is socially acceptable, and it provides you with a sense of accomplishment. Yet, in the end, this sense of accomplishment is a facade.
Work is something that you do to get paid or to accomplish a goal. It is simply a means to an end, the motivations for work can be different, but the fact is that no matter how much you enjoy it, work should only be a part of your life.
When Work Feels Good
To me, work means forcing yourself to do something for a reward that you wouldn’t normally do for fun. A person much wiser than me once said if you find something you love and do that for a living, you will never work a day in your life.
That is a philosophy I believe in. There are so many things that I have done as a part of a job that was just enjoyable. Getting paid for them was pleasant but inconsequential to the effort exerted or the passion shared.
Any time I have been working with and encouraging others has been that way for me. If you feel that way, I think your actions around this activity immerse you in what you are doing.
Time flies. You don’t mind spending extra time to perform them to the best of your ability. Most often, these have engaged me with a creative approach to a challenge. To make a plan, prepare, implement and follow it through until the successful conclusion.
When Work is Hard
If your attitude about the work you perform is harmful in any way, then you are probably going to be miserable doing whatever that job is. The ominous signs are complaining, gossip, worry, or a constant watching of the clock. If you are doing these at work, you are most likely not going to be happy in that vocation.
You can be skilled at your duties and make lots of money, but you will most likely not be happy, and that has to factor into your plan for life somewhere. Life should be more than a continual struggle surrounding a job you despise.
Money will not give you a second more of life or make the life you do have more enjoyable. Only your mind can do that.
When we meet people for the first time, it has become a custom to immediately give our resume to identify our value to the world. This is no more an indication of who you are than the sneakers you chose to wear that day. Work is not an identity. It is a job, and that is all it is.
You are a great human soul with unlimited potential and if your job doesn’t make you feel that way, find something else to do.
Work Less Enjoy More
With all that being said, if I was paid to do what I love to do, then I don’t believe that is work at all. That is following your passion. Therefore I would believe in working less and being passionate more, regardless of what I am producing or how much I am being paid.
Since we were young, people have been conditioned that we should be looking for a job that will provide a career. What we should be focused on is finding the passion that makes your activities enjoyable. That way, you will never work at all.
I would rather never work and enjoy life all the time, not to be unproductive but to be happy and not to work a day. I remember the words, do what you are passionate about, and you will never work a day in your life.
Don’t Be Afraid To Leave.
If you happen to find yourself in an unhealthy situation, don’t be afraid to leave. Life is too short to go to a job that makes you feel inadequate, unprofessional, or hopeless. No amount of money is worth being miserable each day. The Universe is trying to tell you something. Listen. Moving on is a part of life, and learning experiences come in all shapes and sizes. Don’t be afraid. If you are unhappy, move on.
Would you rather have less work or more work you enjoy doing?
From time to time we all reflect on our experiences and try to bring some valuable experience from life. It is human nature to look back and reflect on the things that happened and to glean whatever helpful information we can from it. Many occasions and situations happened over the past year, which has given us a new experience or taught us a new lesson. The year has certainly taught me many engaging lessons. It seems the older that I am, the more I learn, and I look forward to the new year with anticipation about all the things that I will know. But before we move forward, let me look back at the year and the lessons it has taught me.
Be for yourself- In all that you do, it is ok to look at the experience and determine what is going to be the best outcome for you. If you don’t look to your well-being, then nobody else is going to. Making sure that what you are experiencing is good for you and your future is not selfish. It is common sense. I have found that most situations are designed to work out in your favor, especially if one takes a moment to analyze it and see if it is ultimately for your greatest good.
2. People are Awesome- Or at least they are if you give them the chance to be. At the end of each year, it is natural to look at the year and think of the people who have come into your life over the previous 12 months and the mark they have made on it. I have been very fortunate to have many incredible people touch my life and leave an indestructible, positive impact on me. From all areas of life and places I hang around and write like Panera, my life has been altered and enhanced by each encounter. It affects everything from the music I enjoy to the understanding I have about others.
Often people enter your life much like the tide in the ocean. They roll in and cover an area, stay for the time they are intended, and then recede to their origins. Often the things that they leave behind on the beach of your life are pretty significant. Even though few people can remain in your life constantly forever, each leaves’ mark may have a lasting effect. They may make you smile when you think of them or force you to think of things differently.
I have been blessed this year by many tides, and the remnants of their presence will stay with me throughout life. I wonder how many people I will meet in the new year can say the same thing about. I can’t wait to find out.
3. Living without Attachment- One of my problems is placing an unhealthy attachment to things. I hope that I have learned how to be better at allowing things to happen as they are meant to and enjoying them for what they are, rather than being disappointed for what they are not. When I let life go, doing my part by setting goals and taking actions, each day brings an enjoyment that makes life a fantastic experience.
It doesn’t matter what you are doing; it will always be good if you appreciate what they are. There are sad things that happen, and you will not define those as “good,” but they are happening. If you learn something from them, then they are valuable. I do not know what the future is bringing, but I look forward to it all.
Getting Healthy is Hard but Rewarding- I am sure that many have learned this lesson. As you reach the end of your rope and know it is time to take control of your health and fitness. No matter your goal, it can be challenging to get to the point you want to get to. Losing weight or just being healthier. The good news is that you will soon be reminded how good it feels to get a regular exercise period in your life. How happy it makes you and how much more you enjoy life because of it. I had the motivation to finally put all the excuses aside and start to get in better shape, and it has made my life a complete experience and has led to some daunting fitness goals in the new year. There is only one way to accomplish any fitness goal: one day at a time.
5. What you BELIEVE about yourself is a choice and can be changed as more information becomes available.
I learned that most people are running their lives based on the beliefs they established when they were very young. These beliefs were cultivated and developed because of the ideas of our parents, teachers, and things as distant as the media. Our beliefs about success, love, and money have been implanted in our minds, and most folks never manage to question these things.
You can change all of these beliefs about yourself at any time that you wish. It takes a simple recognition of your beliefs and how you would like to change them. Let your life experience dictate what you believe and not what someone else wanted you to think about yourself, your abilities, and how enjoyable your life experience is going to be.
6. Forgiveness is vital in moving forward in life. The most important person is that you need to forgive yourself. There is nobody else’s opinion that matters as much to you and your life experience as yours. All people have regrets and have made mistakes; it is OK. Let go of the guilt and make choices today that will honor you, and that is the only thing you can control. The past is gone, and it is never coming back, good or bad.
Once you truly forgive yourself, then I have found that forgiving others is a lot easier. Forgiveness allows you to keep things in perspective, move forward with life, and enjoy what you experience without comparing or contrasting it to previous events. Happiness is a choice that often begins with the intention to forgive others and, most importantly yourself.
7. Being positive is a choice that you can make. Many people look at positive thinking in the wrong light, I think. It is not only looking on the bright side of things, but it includes how you perceive the world and its events. There is a natural and straightforward contrast to what we view as unfavorable, and how you think is always a choice. If you look at someone and judge them in a negative light, it is just as simple and healthier to accept them as they are. You are learning to practice substituting sympathy for cruelty, love for hate, generosity for greed, or hope for fear. All of these things are simple choices that you make in every situation. Life will test you, and no matter how hard you try, there will be times when you fail and think things based on bias and prejudice. Each one of these situations provides you with the chance to grow and become a better person.
8. It’s OK to be Afraid
All people experience fear, and it is a natural part of life. How you deal with it is what is essential. Facing what you are afraid of head-on and honestly takes courage, and hopefully, I have developed this type of strength over the past year. Fear of death, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what other people think of you and what you do, etc., are all genuine. There is no weakness in feeling these things as long as you face them, overcome them and take actions that you know are right. In many cases, it does take bravery to be yourself, but that is the only natural way to experience a happy life.
I look forward to the changes and opportunities that I will have to be a better person as I develop throughout the year. This is a very Good Thing.
When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?
Are Your Ideas In the Darkness?
There are times in everyone’s life when they feel like they are all by themselves, with only their beliefs to guide them. These times are opportunities to define your life, what your principles are, and how you will share this with the world. Will you continue to think as you always have? Or will you move in the direction of change and growth? That is a test that life likes to give us from time to time, and we must find the lesson and maintain our humanity and compassion in the process. There is no question difficult times are tough to endure but they bring with them an opportunity. One way or another these moments will come to define your life, providing you with depth in the way you view life and your place in it. You will have the chance to become more understanding of the plight of others in the world or you can build bitterness around your own situation. The decision is truly yours. What light do you bring into the world? One of illumination or destruction?
The Dark Side
Fear-based thought will lead you to the darkness.
When difficult times arrive, you may forget the soft glow of the idea you strongly believe in, you can lose your positive attitude. This experience can cause disillusion, anger, hatred, and, most of all, self-pity. Why is everyone against me? If they were real friends, they would support me no matter what. Poor me! These are natural emotions and thoughts, but that is all that they are. We are not our thoughts or emotions. In this case, they are all caused by the actions and opinions of others. The danger is that once you start down the path of self-pity and anger, you are in danger of staying there for a long time, if not forever.
All of these are fear-based emotions and thoughts, which can have no other destination than to make you unhappy, angry, and scared. There is no way that you can embrace the good in something and grow if you spend all of your time, though, and effort in self-pity and anger. These emotions can become pervasive in all aspects of your life, and relationships end; you will find that you look at everything with a veil of suspicion, and it will become nearly impossible to be truly happy. This change can be caused by any tragedy in your life, losing a job, character assassinations, the death of a loved one, or any of the significant obstacles of life. Fortunately, this is not permanent or fatal unless you want it to be.
The Light
When you carry the light of an idea into the darkness, you will always have a choice, for
Thoughts and actions based on love will bring you to light no matter where you are
every adverse reaction above, there is a positive choice available to you. This choice is the path of growth because these decisions come from love. Compassion, understanding, kindness, and forgiveness are all examples of this type of reaction. It is pretty easy to display these characteristics when times are good and everything is going your way, but quite a different story when facing challenges. You get laid off from your job unexpectedly, how do you react? It would be understandable if you were angry and felt it was unfair and wished terrible things on all of those responsible, but what will that accomplish when you look at it?
You will allow the things that happened to you to define you and all of your actions. Or you can accept that it happened and look for the positive. This optimism may be the push you needed to finally follow your dream and become a doctor or an engineer or whatever you have always wanted to do. Difficult times and opportunities often walk hand in hand if you keep your eyes open. Forgive those that you feel wronged you, accept what has happened, and move forward with courage. I can’t tell you for sure, but open your eyes and embrace the changes, and you may find yourself significantly happier than when you began this journey.
So if you feel like you are marching into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believe in, make that idea one that honors you and leads to a more significant light in the world. If it creates love, it will do that. If it starts with fear, it will most likely lead to misery and pain. Look for the light in the situations you face, and even the worst things can ultimately positively impact you and the world. There is no way to change the past and what has happened. You have one hundred percent control over how you react to them.
Nobody in their right mind would ever set out to fail because accomplishment is what people have been programmed to strive for. Yet, I look at our society, and I see a significant fear of failure in the eyes of most. It has been bred from our earliest school days, “Do what we tell you and succeed,” “Never try something your not sure of, or you might fail.” I think that history is full of people who have seen their share of disappointment and failure. Yet, these initial setbacks worked as a springboard to future success. Failure is never fatal. Quitting is. Why is it that our educational systems seem to fear failure so?
A Harsh but Effective Teacher
At First You May Fall
Failure is a word that has negative connotations attached to it. Nobody wants to be seen as a failure, associated with a failure, or even admit that they have experienced failure.
The perception of being a failure can harm different parts of our society, from stock market prices to the power of a celebrity at the box office. Being a winner is preferable to being a loser. Yet, it is a fact that sometimes we all lose.
However, if you spend a little time looking at the lessons that you learned over the expanse of your life, you probably learned a lot more from the losses you experienced than from any other teacher you have ever had. Failure is not fun to experience, but learning to deal with it and rise above it is one of the most valuable tools you will ever acquire.
Failing Can Open Doors of Opportunity
Once you learn this lesson, no goal is too far from your
But You May Find Inspiration
reach. Once you take ownership of what has happened and recognize why you fell short, you can take steps to continue working to achieve that goal. Often your ultimate success was driven by that initial faltering attempt.
One of the best things about becoming involved in athletics as a child is learning how to overcome setbacks in a controlled environment, learning valuable life lessons safely. These lessons are directly applicable to life. You will not always get the job, sometimes there is criticism of your work, and you don’t always win.
If you keep striving to win, though, and you evaluate your shortcomings honestly, then a person can overcome almost any failure and find success in the end. That success can extend to any part of your life.
Why Are We So Afraid?
It seems like today and parents are so involved in their kids’ lives that often, children are not allowed the freedom to fail at anything.
Either because they never want their kids to feel bad, or the parents are living vicariously through the accomplishments of their young ones.
Either way, kids are often taught that everyone is a winner and participate in non-competitive games, which sends an unrealistic life lesson because life is not that way.
Life has a way of testing you and finding out what you are made of. Life is a game that you can’t win, you can only play it, and a healthy part of it is that sometimes things will not work out for you.
I would think that if I had never understood this that the first time failure came to me, I might have a nervous breakdown and never recover. Yet, the hope of accomplishment and greatness keeps people marching forward, despite the risks of failure and the pain involved in not getting what you want.
If you work toward a goal, then you will have an opportunity to achieve that goal.
Give It A Shot, Then At Least You Know
When it comes never to try, you will avoid experiencing this failure, but you will also never learn the lessons that failure inevitably teaches you. All things are not accomplished quickly, but if we persevere, we can achieve almost anything.
Great thought!
Never trying is way worse than failure. You will never know your capabilities unless you test yourself.
You will never improve physically, mentally, or spiritually unless you push yourself a little. When you push yourself, sometimes you fail.
Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back to it. Learning this lesson will be one of the valuable experiences you will have. And at least you will know, definitively once and for all, what you are capable of. You are a great human soul with unlimited potential and effort, and fearless acceptance of the consequences will take you there.
Life is full of questions. One of the best ways to gain information is to ask others who already have the knowledge you want to get. If you want to make changes in your life’s experience, learning to ask questions is essential. Being willing to show you don’t know something to learn something is following the growth mindset. Why is this the case? How do questions work? That is what I hope to answer here, today.
you are pleased about. You have no choice if you answer it. It will lead to a list of positive things, and it is challenging to feel poorly after that. If you ask, am I disappointed with you? Then you will open up that negative path for you.
thoughts. The human mind can only hold one idea at a time, and if you are focusing your thoughts on what you want or need to do to get it, the seeds of doubt have no room even to be planted, let alone an opportunity to grow.
skill. How can I turn this around? What is here that I am not seeing? What action can I take right now that will move me closer to my goal?
