Monthly Archives: April 2022

22

Present Every Day

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What if you were present today? What would that look like? 

Every day, we make simple choices to either be present in our experiences or attempt to take our minds to another place and experience something outside of the moment. It is effortless to allow your mind to drift into distractions and never really notice all of the people and things happening in your life right at this moment. Presence is defined as “the state or fact of existing, occurring, or being present in a place or thing.” It seems like this would be easy to accomplish at all times, but we have created all sorts of shiny distractions to stop us from experiencing the things in our lives right now.

Smartphones, scrolling social media, video games, and television entertainment on any electronic device keep us in fantasy and stop us from being in the moment. There is nothing wrong with doing this once in a while, but you start to forget who and what you are when it becomes the norm. You are never using the tool of your mind for what it is good at, which is solving problems and creating the best reality possible. Let’s try to get into the present moment.

Distractions

All people have something that distracts them from being present. That is a part of being human. We can go to different places with our minds. It is not necessarily a bad thing to escape; sometimes, imagination can be constructive to create what you want in life. But when the distractions of life cause you not to be present, you are not living the life you have. What are your distractions? Video Games? Movies?Low Vibrational Television? Alcohol? Drugs? Whatever you do to move out of the moment continually is the distraction you choose.

If we are not present at the moment, then we are never able to deal with the issues that cause us pain and suffering in our lives. Distractions work as a pain relief for these things. Making them bearable but never helping you deal with things bothering you, allowing more negative emotions and thoughts into your life. Distractions take your attention away, but those things are always there, waiting for you when the madness ends.

You can practice being present by continually looking at your focus throughout the day. Notice where your thoughts are. Are they drifting off to the past and a happy or sad event from your memory? Are they drifting to a future dream where you have achieved a goal or are doing something you are looking forward to experiencing? Either way, you are not in this moment if you are there. Once you notice you are not in the moment, you are now there. Doing this for an entire day and documenting what distractions are on your mind will allow you to be more present in your life, deal with issues you have, and let your account help solve problems you face.

What Do You Crave?

When you identify with your mind and the thoughts it creates, whatever cravings pop up, you are those cravings. The distraction, the drink, the drugs, the games, the food, or whatever the desires have become who you are. A Craving occurs when your mind seeks fulfillment in external things for you to feel whole. Most people have wounds from their emotions, and our cravings and distractions remove our focus from these things. People desire to be free of worry, care, and pain, but when you allow your desires and cravings to become attachments, you will not be able to experience the joy of just being.

The joy of this moment is natural to experience, but you have to make an effort to get your consciousness involved. Let your thoughts go. They are not going to help. Look at where you are right now and note all the things that are there. The sun, anything that grows, other people, a good cup of coffee, the ability to create, or any of the other things in this moment that you can experience are all there for you. There is no need to become free of all your desires but to become present in the moment. Some moments are more enjoyable than others, but all of them offer you some experience. Too often, we are too distracted by the things we crave. We let the moment pass us by, unnoticed and unappreciated.

Creativity for Health

Being creative is one of the most powerful things we have to bring us into the moment and appreciate our essence and how we can relate to the world. If you don’t create regularly, start. It is a way for your soul to express itself. Write, draw, paint, sculpt, or design. Whatever form of activity allows you to express yourself provides an opportunity to find your purpose and passion in life. When you are into creating something, and your focus is on that, you are in the moment. At this moment, which is all we are ever guaranteed, time seems to stand still or run without noticing. Being creative is a uniquely human experience, and it exists for a reason.

When you create something where only an idea existed, you are setting precedence in your life. If you can make something where nothing once was in one area of your life, you can do it in another. Our creative powers can be developed and should be used to help you take your life into a new area of exploration. In life, we are either growing and changing or moving in the opposite direction. Being present is essential to get the most out of our time on Earth.

There is no need to label the moment as this thing or that thing. Allow the present moment to be what it is. Like you allow your past to be whatever it was, a learning experience. Accept responsibility for it and move on. Let the future be what it is, possibility. Accept where you are, take responsibility for it, and then take action to accept it all as if you chose it. To carry this attitude through a day is an exciting thing because no matter what you face, you want to be responsible for it. Much like the surfer chose to ride the wave rather than be buried by it.

This process of being in the moment starts when you focus your conscious thoughts on the present moment. It will affect the words you choose to speak to others and the actions you ultimately take. Being present is a skill anybody can develop, and it just takes a little peace of mind and thought.

 “Mindfulness is the aware, balanced acceptance of the present experience. It isn’t more complicated than that. It is opening to or receiving the present moment, pleasant or unpleasant, just as it is, without either clinging to it or rejecting it.” ~Sylvia Boorstein

 “The best way to capture moments is to pay attention to. This is how we cultivate mindfulness. Mindfulness means being awake. It means knowing what you are doing.” ~Jon Kabat-Zinn

“In today’s rush, we all overthink — seek too much — want too much — and forget about the joy of just being.” ~Eckhart Tolle

 “If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion.” ~Dalai Lama

“When you realize nothing is lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” ~Lao Tzu

 

22

Fear or Faith

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It is so easy to get caught up in the whirl of activity, and we can quickly forget these events happening to us are not the things that determine who we are as people. The way we deal with things will define our life experience, and the bulk of the time, we are allowing things to skip by us on autopilot dictating much of our reality to us. Fear of suffering is the prevalent emotion that sneaks into our lives, making us feel anxious about what might happen or even about how other people will perceive things that did happen. The hope is that by looking at life through a lens of faith, fear won’t often win. People are insecure about who they are and will always allow one to hold the person you want to be and what you want to accomplish.

This writing is my look at my struggles with fear and encouragement for all to look past the fear today and develop a mind that is not ruled by emotions and the fear which stems from that. It is not too much to ask yourself to create a mature, honest, respectful, and responsible life. Looking past our fear and living a life of faith is a goal for me and, hopefully, a plan for you.

What is Faith?

Simply put, faith is taking actions or making choices expecting the best possible outcome will result. When you believe whatever results from things will be for the ultimate good of all, you operate from a base of peace of mind. The other option is to work from fear that something will go wrong or that if things don’t work out exactly as you think, it will be a failure. Some people attach themselves to a particular outcome, and when it doesn’t happen that way, anger, disappointment, low self-esteem, or some other emotional response follows.

None of us have a broad perception to see all that might happen or result from a particular situation. Our imaginations are a tool we use to our detriment often. We imagine the worst-case scenarios and things that are not even happening. But we can feel throughout thoughts and imagine how bad they would be if they did exist.

Turning the power to the right side and thinking about what could happen if things worked out even better would be a great act of faith. Too often, we seek something, take action, and then we don’t let it play out as it should. We are so one-dimensional in our thinking we can’t see a more significant way that may be right in front of us and will provide all and more than we hope for. But we don’t see it. Faith to accept things will be working out for the best is the most potent and complex skill to develop in life.

Fear Can Be Pervasive and Powerful

Fear is a subtle working power in our lives. We are not talking about the concern on the surface, fear of heights, snakes, spiders, or whatever phobia you may have. I am talking about the inner fear of not having our needs met or of being harmed on an emotional level. A relationship ends, and we are then afraid of being replaced or alone, that nobody else could love us. The thoughts we choose to entertain about the situation and the emotions that are automatically attached to them cause all kinds of unhealthy behavior. Fear of what others think, fear of loss, fear of being alone, fear of everything will at the least make you very unhappy and, in the worst-case scenario, destroy your life.

Remember that fear is a subtle visitor; it comes to you a little bit at a time but is pervasively working to make you continually feel the potential for suffering in the entirety of your life. We look at everything as a threat to what we own, who we love, and even how we live our lives. There is a benefit for the powers that be to keep you in a pervasive and perpetual state of fearfulness. It is easier to control a person who is afraid. People are led to purchase things to “feel better” or feel a certain way about a group of people because of their religion or life choices. The mainstream media and social media sites present images and scenarios people aspire to, and if your life is not up to these standards, you should feel bad about yourself. Faith is rarely mentioned in our lives outside of a religious context, and it should be.

Is Fearless Possible?

To live a life totally without fear is a very daunting task. Eliminating fear is a constant struggle because the more you have that you enjoy in life, the more you have to fear losing it. Your attachments to people and things make you vulnerable to stress. An accessory is a rigid thought pattern about someone or something, and it has to be a certain way or in a specific role for a person to be secure with it. Anything outside of that accepted thought is wrong and painful. Love is accepting and allows others to be themselves. The views we choose to entertain about things will dictate our emotions and reveal that it will work out best if we have an attachment to something or faith.

Let’s face it, you can’t control all of the thoughts that pop into your mind, but you have complete control over how you react to them in all ways. Just because you have an idea in your mind of what may happen doesn’t mean it will happen. Most times, it never does. I know I can be vigilant in seeking to keep fearful things out of my thoughts in my mind. But they still creep in bit by bit. Thought by thought. To live a life totally of faith, believing that whatever happens in life will be something we all desire.

A Life of Faith

The challenge is to live your life through this lens of faith. Which is not easy to do because there are things that have hurt us. We all want to avoid this kind of suffering, but a part of life is to suffer and learn how to deal with it. That is how we know what to pursue and which to get away from.

Not doing something or doing something because of fear will lead to nothing but more suffering and sadness. So it is no choice if you are looking for a way to find a life you love. Understand what you want, and then take action toward those things with faith in your heart, mind, and spirit. This is a life of faith that has a chance to bring all you are looking for in the best manner possible.

“If you are programmed to fear something, you will fear it, even though you consciously think it is ridiculous. It is same as the success and failure.”Benny Zhang

“Are you willing to give up what you have to become what you want to be? Most people fear change and, therefore, never grow past the point of mediocrity.”-Richard A. Franks

“What’s on the other side of fear? Nothing.” –Jamie Foxx 

“Fear of success can be just as crippling as the fear of failure.”- John Allen

“Don’t let your fear of failure stop you from realizing your dreams.” 

 

22

Being Grateful

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gratitude-logoOne of the simple things in life that we all know we should practice gratitude for the things we have in our lives that bring happiness.

It is easy to look at the struggles and challenges of life and forget to see all of the things that make each day a positive experience. One of the best practices is setting aside a time of day to look at the past day and decide what you are grateful for.

Build Your Mindset

MindsetIt is a great time to build your mindset of appreciation for whatever makes your life a little better. It is my practice to write ten things a day that I appreciate, and I try to make 2 or 3 new or original. This practice gets your mind looking for ideas that you might add to the list throughout the day. Seeking gratitude improves your focus to include good thoughts and moves you away from negative thinking and worry.

Open the Door for More

Being grateful and appreciating the positive things in your life opens the door for more of those things to come into your life. A gratitude journal is a reflective moment that will only make you happier and make you feel better about life and the things you experience in it.

Open-the-door-to-moreThe other choice is to complain about everything you don’t like about your experience. That only puts your focus more on those negative things, and of course, more of those things will come into your life. Nobody cares about your complaints; they are your issues. At best, anyone you are complaining to is just looking for an opportunity to share their grievances about why they are unhappy.

Like most things, it comes down to a simple choice that anyone can make. You don’t have to be intellectually superior to be grateful, but you must be smart. It will make your life better and bring more of what you want into your consciousness.

The Power of Thank You

hqdefaultThere is a lot of power in using the words Thank You! It has been clinically proven that if you thank a new acquaintance for anything they do, it makes them more likely to seek to further your relationship. Gratitude makes you physically and mentally healthier, enhances empathy, reduces aggression, improves the quality of your sleep, improves self-esteem, and makes you think more efficiently.

Best of all, there is no downside to the practice at all. Have you ever heard of someone being harmed by being grateful and saying a simple thank you? Of course not. Those two little words make others feel appreciated and open the doorway for more positive creation in your life.

Appreciation Game

A high activity that I read about is the Appreciation Game. When you are feeling angry, upset, or just in a negative mindset, it is because of the thoughts you are choosing to entertain. Our minds are fantastic tools, but they are only tools to be used by us. They are capable of thinking one thought at a time, and you decide the content, tenor, and tone of that thought. So you choose to find things in your life that you appreciate and think about. I understand the weather. I enjoyed my coffee today. It makes life better. I appreciate my spouse. I know the kind thing my kids did. I appreciate my health. I appreciate having money. I appreciate my success. I appreciate my life, etc. It will flip your mindset to the positive side if you let it.

Of course, you can choose to stay mired in the negative for whatever reason you want. Anger, jealousy, and judgment are just different masks of fear. These have something to do with not meeting your needs and some pain coming your way.

The choice is yours, live in fear, or live in gratitude.

“I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.” —Gilbert K. Chesterton

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar

“Learn to be thankful for what you already have while you pursue all that you want.” —Jim Rohn

“Be thankful for what you have; you’ll end up having more. If you concentrate on what you don’t have, you will never, ever have enough.” —Oprah Winfrey

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.” —William Arthur Ward

 

22

Forgive Them Anyway

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Those we think the most of can be the most difficult to forgive, BUT we must forgive to move forward at last.
`Those we think the most are often the most difficult to forgive, BUT we must forgive to move forward at last.

Forgiveness has been a difficult thing for me at times. Realizing learning to forgive is one of the most important lessons a person can learn. I am continually analyzing why I have difficulty letting some things go and moving forward with life in a more positive way.

For most people who I carried low expectations, forgiveness comes more naturally. We are all learning life lessons when someone I expect more from fails me. I find it extremely difficult to forgive.

The things that other people do or have done hurt you and cause you to experience fear in your life. Fear that you will be harmed in some way or don’t measure up, or worry about what others might think of us. Part of the human condition is to experience pain; it teaches lessons and pushes us in directions that may not be easy to go. But there is a point where we have suffered enough and learned all we can. That is a time to forgive those we perceive to have harmed us. That is when we stop feeling angry or resentful toward someone for an offense, flaw, or mistake. The act of forgiveness will bring you many benefits.

Loss of Faith

stabbed in the back
The most devastating of these come from someone you trust. You never see it coming.

You come to depend on certain people to be on your side and support you, no matter what. It is a cold lesson to find them acting differently from what you have seen over years of experience. Their hypocrisy is one of the most painful hurts because it is so unexpected, like a sucker punch from the Pope. It hurts twice and is more difficult to forgive because a deeply personal trust has been violated. Someone that you could always count on was now gone. Who or what can you trust if you can no longer trust them?

ultimate forgiveness
I forgive all and carry no grudges about anything.

Forgiveness of the ones you cared about the most is most challenging to grant, but it is essential in the end. Your heart will never fully heal until you give this forgiveness, deserved or not, because your life needs to move forward, and casting off all of the anchors of wrongdoing, actual and perceived, is a must. Forgive and move forward; all people act the way they do because of their individual needs. Those we care about are special for a reason, and even though it is hard, forgiving them is a vital step in living a happy life.

Forgiving Others

We have all had people enter our lives who seem to be there to hurt us. These people have hurt us, taken from us, or caused general suffering in our lives. That is their problem and their karma in life. When we hold onto the act that hurts us, it eats away at our present moment happiness. If you are mad at the thought of that person and what they did to you, it is time to let it go. Time to forgive the people that have hurt you and move forward.

It is difficult to forgive because, in many ways, it feels like you are condoning the behavior that caused you any suffering. That is not the case, you do not accept the inadequate response from another, but forgiveness allows you to put the pain of the situation behind you and take away its control over you. Without the emotional charge you provide, an experience becomes something you can learn from and choose some value from. If only that, it can enhance your current life. Choosing to forgive also gives you power over all people and things in your past. You determine exactly how you feel about them and the emotions you attach to them.

Forgive You

One of the most challenging people to forgive is often ourselves. In life, we are going to make mistakes and misjudgments. We are going through this human experience for the first time, and it will have lessons for you to learn. Too many times, we take the lessons personally and allow them to become a part of our identity. This thought is never the case. A mistake is a mistake. Poor judgment is poor judgment. The wisest person in the world has made hundreds of errors. The difference between you and them is that they have learned the lesson and discarded the vehicle it came in.

You are a unique human being and have nearly unlimited potential to do what you dream of if you get out of your way. The way we talk to ourselves has a lot to do with our energy and the confidence developed in life. Only allow yourself to speak of yourself in the kindest ways. Don’t let your mind entertain thoughts that are derogatory to you in any way. Forgiveness of your past mistakes will make this possible and allow you to be confident in your current actions and build the most positive future possible.

Forgive It All

Whatever it is in life you think has caused your suffering and pain, forgive it. There are going to be things that cause us pain in life. Recognize that most of the pain we have allowed has been self-inflicted. Either we have had expectations of too rigid things, leaving a significant gap between what we expect to happen and reality. All of these gaps are going to be painful things. Forgive the situations and recognize that how we choose to think is the cause of much of our suffering. Changing how we feel about things is something all people can do at this very moment, and changing the way you think about an event will change the emotional attachment you have to it. Freedom from all of your past emotional messes is waiting for you with the simple act of heartfelt forgiveness. There is a power in forgiveness that will enliven your soul. 

“Forgiveness says you are given another chance to make a new beginning.” Desmond Tutu

“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” Bryant H. McGill

“When you forgive, you in no way change the past – but you sure do change the future.” Bernard Meltzer

“Mistakes are always forgivable if one dares to admit them.”  Bruce Lee

Time to sail on to the future.

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22

What is Your Intention?

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Daily Intention- a thing intended, an aim or plan.

All that we have ever done or ever will do has begun with the creation of an intention in our mind. Someone has set a resolution to do or accomplish something and then taken action to make that thing come into reality. Without the initial power of intention, there is no way that someone can get started on a path at all. This fact is actual, from a significant change in career to building a relationship or inventing some new process, substance, or product. It all starts with the intention to do it. What plans are you setting today? Focus on your purposes in your thoughts, words, and actions today.

Short-Term Intentions

Each day, we can create almost anything we want from the clean slate of a new morning. Set an intention to be happy, be productive, or be a good person on this day. The opportunity will present itself to you to follow your intention, and all one has to do is follow its purpose to its successful conclusion. Without an intention in your day, it isn’t easy to get outside of yourself.

In the early of your morning, take a moment, and think about the intent you want to bring to your day. Most people don’t have a conscious intention to be negative, judgmental, or unkind, but without a definite purpose, these things happen. Set a choice in your day to be a positive influence in all things you do, and then take action toward that end. Each day we have the chance to do so.

Long-Term Intentions

Of course, most people have long-term goals and dreams they are trying to pursue and create. That is what gives life its juice. You may not know precisely how this will happen for you, but you are set in your mind about creating it. It could be a career goal or some other achievement. Set your intention and let it dominate your thoughts. Thoughts will lead to words and actions. Something will happen once you start taking action, moving you closer to your goal.

Whether you reach your aim or not has to do with many factors, you may not be able to control—the ability to accept failure. Sometimes we need to learn things, and we do not naturally know everything. Failure is not a permanent predicament. But a valuable learning experience that provides you with the knowledge you need to accomplish the things you set your intention to do. Never be too discouraged, plan draws energy, and that energy is for building what you want. All you have to do is know what you want and be strong enough to do what you need to do to stick with it until you find your intention as a reality in your life.

 

Set Intentions Right Now

Setting your intentions is essential because it gives your life direction and purpose. These are two critical things to be engaged in and enjoy the journey. A goal will keep life exciting and provide you with something to work toward achieving. Always have a meaning until life is over. Keep your direction in mind because your actions will take you down one road or another. Please make sure they are the roads that you want to travel down.

Set your intention today for the great things you can accomplish in the next 24 hours and for something you can achieve in your life. See where they lead you. Today, be kind, considerate, compassionate, understanding, loving, generous, compassionate, understanding, loving, and generous. Be aware of what your intentions are today in your thoughts, words, and actions!! It will define your life.

“Our intention creates our reality.” – Wayne Dyer

“It is the intent which establishes one’s consequential outcomes.”-T.F. Hodge

“We know there is intention and purpose in the universe because there are intentions and purpose in us.”- George Bernard Shaw

22

The Enemy

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Enemy- an actively opposed or hostile to someone or something.

We all have had the experience of being opposed by someone. Jealousy, envy, anger, or greed usually are behind these feelings. In the world, enemies, real and perceived, are used to perpetuate fear and manipulate support for a specific policy or action. What would the world be like if we did away with the idea of enemies altogether? Of course, we will never know, but we can find out what your life would be without them. Enemies exist because we choose to allow them. Eliminating your enemies starts with you looking closely at your thoughts, words, and actions when dealing with others. Your perception is the key. How you see others is often how we view ourselves.

We are the same as our enemies.

One of the paradoxes of life is that each person is unique and one of a kind, but we all, at our core, are the same. So we may have different skin shades, and our eyes are different colors as well. Our height is never uniform. There are many differences, but we all are the same and come from the same source of life. If we all realized this, there would be fewer problems in the world. This may be unrealistic for the masses but not for the individual.

If you view another as your enemy, you look at them with negativity. They may say something terrible about you. They may try to hurt you. Whatever your “enemies” do, don’t resort to responses to cut them back. Forgive those who try to harm you, learn from them, and move on from them. Learn to practice your defense and avoid going on the offense at all costs. If you view them as an enemy, how do they see you? We are all the same, competing for perceived gains with no real value. But they cost us everything. In the value we see in ourselves, we can provide for the world.

Change your Perception of Enemies

Again it is easy to categorize people and label them as one thing or another because it makes you more comfortable with yourself. Change your perception of them and spend your time looking for yourself in each person you meet. There is always common ground, and you will see yourself in all others. This vision will happen when you stop looking at people as enemies and start viewing them as they are.

All people are teachers, and they will teach you valuable lessons. The very least of which might be how not to act or treat others. Pay attention, learn the lesson, forgive them if need be, and move on with your life. Any time spent aimed at revenge or punishment only limits what positive action you can take in the world. Anger leads to sudden blows that might make you feel powerful for a moment but, in the end, result in wasted energy. When the clock runs out on your life, is that what you will think of?

Sometimes You have to Fight.

I know that I may have to fight for protection or to maintain a principle in life. But I struggle to persevere, not to conquer another. If a person sees no enemy, there is no hate and hope for a better world. Violence is not the answer, and it only leads to more destruction. This relationship is demonstrated all over the world, all the time. One violent act is used to justify another, then another. Pain and death are the results, and there are no positives—only suffering.

If you see no enemies, only people, your actions will not fly out of anger, hate, or revenge. Then you can act out of strength, understanding, and compassion for others. Who are at their core precisely like you? Learn from all people, respect their capabilities, and in understanding lies the path to resolution.

Look at the conflicts in your life. Evaluate how you perceive those involved. Are they your enemies? Are they your teachers? Are they just like you? Are they all of these things? What actions can you take to lead to a resolution to the conflict that is honorable for yourself and all involved? Focus on leaving the world a better place than when this “enemy” came into your life. It all starts, as it always does, focusing on your thoughts, words, and actions. Raise your consciousness about the activities of your enemies, and you will see a better version of yourself. Your real enemy is created in your mind. Never let him control you.

“The old perception of conflict as combat only narrows our vision, limits our choices, pulls us into endless struggles between competing polarities.” ~Diane Dreher

“But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless those that curse you, do good to those that hate you, and pray for those who speak evil about you, and persecute you.”~ Jesus Christ

 

22

These Masks

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Masks of Life

Masks are used to hide a true identity. What does yours hide?
Masks are used to hide a real identity. What does yours hide?

It doesn’t matter who you are, where you live, or how much you have. You have spent a significant part of your life creating and wearing masks to hide your true identity. Authentic masks have become convenient in protecting our true identity in social situations. They bring us power, acceptance, or even can allow us to survive. Unfortunately, once used, they become pretty permanent.

These masks come in all varieties, shapes, and sizes and, in many cases, serve you quite well. They help to project the image that you want. But still, inside of us, there is a real person who is slowly suffocated by the masks we have chosen to wear.

Why I Built Masks

Hiding my true self, was for protection. It became almost permanent.
Hiding my true self was for protection. It became almost permanent.

As early as I can remember, there are many memories of support, recognition of who I was, and an appreciation for what I brought to the world. Then it started to change; other people did not seem to accept me as my loved ones did.

It is one of nature’s oldest forms of protection, camouflage. We feel safe by disguising the attributes that we take criticism for, causing us to experience pain. I think we feel protected, but it is false protection at a considerable price.

Although I was still the friendly, caring kid I was, I started to put on a mask that would help me get through the rough seas of acceptance that childhood makes you travel. It worked! I could hide and be whatever was more acceptable, funnier, meaner, less accepting of others—even narrow-minded and worse, unkind, insensitive, and even cruel.

Careful It May Get Stuck

The masks I constructed to get through the pains of growing up were helpful. It would be

Careful, they may become hard to get rid off.
Careful, they may become hard to get rid of.

insane to claim anything else. However, there is a problem we never think of at first. The masks we build become less of a cover and more of a permanent fixture. I began to forget who I was.

Since I wore the mask I wore, that became the dominant feature of my personality. I assume that actors sometimes have difficulty separating themselves from their characters. My life slowly yet inevitably became a permanent production of the mask that now was seemingly stuck in my existence.

The Real Tragedy

Don't Forget Who You Are.
Don’t Forget Who You Are.

After a while, we have forgotten all about who we were in the past and the essence that we were born with that made us great in the first place. Sometimes events have forced us to wear the mask for protection, and the events which cause this frighten us so much that we feel we need them forever.

Then as life passes and we realize that something isn’t right, we see that the mask we are wearing has made it almost impossible to remember anything about who we are. We don’t think we could recognize ourselves, even if we saw our true selves. That loss of identity is the real tragedy of the mask.

Losing your Mask

Like anything built sturdily and over time, you are getting rid of your mask is not something you can do in a day, a week, or sometimes even a year. Yet it is not complicated, and anyone can do it.

The trick to getting rid of your mask is remembering who you are and learning to accept it and love that person. The negative voices that fill your head with gibberish need to be expelled. All past bad experiences need to be forgiven, and you need to forgive yourself. Pay attention to the positive thoughts and feelings that surround being yourself.

The biggest fear of someone who wears a mask is that someone else will see through it and reject or be horrified by what they see. That can’t be the case because we are born with a unique person inside that is the essence of greatness. If someone sees something other than that, they are looking in a mirror, understanding their problems, not yours.

“We all wear masks, and the time comes when we cannot remove them without removing some of our own skin.” – André Berthiaume

“Nothing is more real than the masks we make to show each other who we are.” – Christopher Barzak

“Like icebergs, people normally expose only a small part of themselves, and generally just the part they wish to show.” – Nikki

“People seldom change. Only their masks do. It is only our perception of them and the perception they have of themselves that actually change.” – Shannon L. Alder