Monthly Archives: May 2022

22

Enjoying the Moments

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It is not uncommon to move through a day on a very

Every second provides an experience that may never come again
Every second provides an experience that may never come again

strict schedule, moving from event to event merely marking time as a restriction in completing your day’s actions. Move quickly, work quickly, think fast, love quickly. The conditioning of our lives leads us to value brevity in completing all tasks because it is viewed as the most efficient use of time.

Yet the more efficient I tend to be, the less I find real enjoyment in life. Ticking chores off the to-do list today as quickly as possible seems to lead to me ignoring the moment and living for the future. The real problem is that the end never arrives. The only thing we are guaranteed to experience is the exact time we are in right now. Our mind is always guiding us to the future, resulting in anxiety. Thoughts about the past only bring regret. The happiness of life can only be found and enjoyed by living and enjoying the present moment.

Where is This Future?

So often, I have spent large portions of my life planning the future ben franklinfor tomorrow, and thinking about the future. I went to high school preparing for college, went to college to prepare for a career, and started a career to give myself the money and materials to live a life and prepare for the time when I would retire in 30-35 years. We attach our expectations to the results of each step as well. Yet we never reach the goal line until life is over.

The problem I had with this life plan was what would I be preparing for after that? Death? Eventually, I looked at the scheme and realized that I had missed some of the best parts of life, and they come in every moment. Planning for the future is responsible, and we should all do that, but in making your plan, make sure it is the one you truly want for yourself, not something created for you by someone else. Or you may just be living your life to the tune of someone else’s programming.

Is This Mindfulness?

Each moment is precious. It contains all you are and all you are ever guaranteed to have. Life may photo-909be over in the next moment, and there is no way to predict it. Living in a time in the future is a waste and is impossible to do. You are only ever alive, right now, this second at this moment, and each moment provides an opportunity to witness a miracle.

Take your time and look at what is happening, really look—at the emotion of loved ones exchanged each day. The game you are currently playing, the fish you are trying to catch, the love you share, the task you are completing. Each part of the human experience is placed in your path to experience fully and completely. Take your time, drink it in, and enjoy it.

Each moment is valuable and potentially life-altering. Every moment is as unique from one another as every person’s individuality is one of a kind. Notice this in each moment, and life will change for you.

Life isn’t something to get done as quickly and efficiently as possible, and it is something to be savored and experienced in each moment you have.

 

“Loving this world, seeing the beauty in everything.
Appreciating every moment as a beautiful, wholly contained,   pearl of eternal nature, this is the world to me.

A never-ending string of pearls…. every moment is in and of its self a lifetime,
and when we have affection and let ourselves experience life without expectation…
that is when the majesty of the world opens her petals to us…
And welcomes us home.”    ~ Carlos Castaneda

Fear 

Khalil Gibran

It is said that before entering the sea,

a river trembles with fear.

She looks back at the path she has traveled,

from the peaks of the mountains,

the long winding road crossing forests and villages.

and in front of her, she sees an ocean so vast,

that to enter

there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.

But there is no other way.

The river cannot go back.

Nobody can go back.

To go back is impossible in existence.

The river needs to take the risk

of entering the ocean

because only then will fear disappear,

because that’s where the river will know

it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,

but of becoming the ocean.

 

22

Your Time Is Ticking Away

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time is now
What Time do you have?

It is so easy to get lost in thoughts about your past and what you should have done. Our mind can transport you effortlessly to those moments where you perceive you were pleased or to places you think watershed moments occurred, changing your life. They seem so much more significant than the experience available to you today.

The problem with these trips to the past is that if you make them too often, you will find it difficult to enjoy your place right now. The other thief of the moment is the future. Everybody plans for the future. It would be crazy not to, but you cannot put off your happiness to tomorrow, or you will never be happy with what you are doing, the people in your life, or the events you experience. Now is the time you have today; this moment is all you will be guaranteed in life, and it is your obligation to yourself to enjoy it.

Live For Today

live-for-today_xLAs you experience the Time you have today,  there are opportunities to feel alive in the here and now. It can be time spent with a loved one where you share tender moments, or it could be a joke you share with a friend. The simple pleasure of seeing the beauty existing all around you can bring on a  laugh or make your day memorable all on its own. Since these moments are fleeting, a person must be ready and aware to catch them and make them count because they will be gone in a flash. All extraordinary things come with an expiration date. A perfect day must inevitably end, a winning streak will be broken, and the same can be said for bad luck. It will end eventually.

One of the things that I did, which helped me appreciate my experience, was to consciously note everything I noticed that was beautiful on that day. From the sunrise, I witnessed moving from a light orange film barely visible on the horizon to its culminating glory of creating an entire burning sky. The homes were silhouetted by the sunrise, with their chimneys gently puffing their stream of wispy smoke into a crisp winter sky. The list was long, but it allowed me to appreciate what I was experiencing in life, today right now.

Too often take today’s experience and brush it off as something we have to do and don’t appreciate that the new day is a gift. Talk to anyone struggling with a fatal disease and is not sure how many more sunrises they might see. How much o do they appreciate the new day and all of the little things that most of us never even notice? The sound f a car starting, the laugh of a stranger in the distance, the look in the eye of someone who loves you. Love them right back with all that you have. They may b  gone tomorrow.

Focus on The Positive

always-live-in-the-moment--sourceThis life is an endeavor that you can begin right now this moment. Many will say I will do this tomorrow or put it off until the new year, but waiting on the action is a losing proposition, and you know it. Before long, you will convince yourself that you will be happy when x, y, or z finally occurs. What do you o in the meantime? Your mind has a way of distracting you from being delighted by pointing out your flaws, worries, or doubts in the non-stop dialogue in your head, which is less than complimentary to you and often downright corruptive to your skills.

Ignore that foolishness because it all amounts to nothing in the end. When you are dying, will you wish you had only worked a little more, spent less Time with your loved ones, or had less fun? Of course, not look for the things that matter and pay attention to them. Forget the rest. A wise man once said, listen to your heart, and ignore the noise in your head. I believe you will have fewer regrets if you do, and I also think you will enjoy the ride a lot more.

Now, It’s All You Have

Finally, this moment needs to be treasured and appreciated because it is all you have. Looking at the p t is a fun escape, but no matter how long you think, yesterday is gone, and it isn’t coming back. Tomorrow may be g at, but there is no guarantee. Your life could be over in ten seconds. All of these thoughts are just fantasies we entertain ourselves with daily. There is only one thing: you and where you are right now in this moment. The choice to be happy in it, experiencing whatever is happening, is up to you and is exclusively yours and yours alone.

So you can spend your Time worrying about the future or be angry about the past and the supposed slights that others have perpetrated against you, but those choices will only make today less enjoyable. When you think about it, what benefit are you enjoying today less? None that I can see. Look at the day you’re in and what you are experiencing. Touch it, feel it, enjoy it. Now is the only moment  you have.

Enjoy the hell out of each moment you have because they are all you can ever be sure of.

Dream as if you live forever, live as if you’ll die today.

There are seven days a week and someday is not one of them.

A year from now, you will wish you had started today. – Karen Lamb

Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass…. It’s about learning to dance in the rain.

If not, now then when? If not you, then who? – Robin Sharma

One day you will wake up, and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now. – Paulo Coelho

People wait all week for Friday, all year for summer, all life for happiness.

Whatever you want to do, do it now. There are so many tomorrows. -Michael Landon

Do it now. The future is promised to no one.

The best Time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best Time is NOW. – Chinese Proverb

The Time for the action is now. It’s never too late t  do something.

 

22

Learning Every Day

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a138890e4646fecda59789f343ebc053Each of us has the opportunity each day to learn something. The only thing stopping us from learning information that will expand our minds, building our potential, and developing a greater understanding of the world and ourselves is a decision not to know.

Knowledge is the great equalizer for all people, and the choice to not pursue it will make you a smaller person and limit what you can do.

Growth Comes From Learning

knowledge 2Nobody was born knowing anything. Circumstances and opportunities have allowed some to learn things quicker and more comfortably. Still, there is no limit on most healthy people that stops them from gaining insight and knowledge other than themselves. Each day is an opportunity to learn something, and it would seem difficult to near impossible to prevent yourself from gaining experience. Still, our society does a good job of ensuring that learning is kept to a minimum.

This is done through a constant stream of disrupting and interrupting distractions in almost every way conceivable. Phones, social media, television, and streaming all combine to keep people from learning and using their minds to think and grow productively. Anger, fear, and hatred in any capacity also work to keep a person from becoming the best version of themselves.

Get Focused, and Nothing Can Stop You

knowledge 3Distraction is one of the best tools to deny a person from learning something new. We are bombarded with distractions throughout the day. From mindless entertainment on the television, computer screen, or tablet, we can be distracted from taking the time to learn something new. These continual interruptions and distractions keep our minds occupied with flashing lights and away from the actual thought process. Imagine what you could achieve if you took just a fraction of the time spent pursuing these activities and devoted it to learning something.

It has to be a problem with our educational system as well. Learning should be the most fascinating and wonderful thing a person experiences, yet most, when completing their schooling, are left wanting to stay far away from the learning process. This seems backward to me. How can we go to places of higher learning and not like to learn more about everything?

Knowledge is Key

The phrase “knowledge is the key” is probably overused or used so much that it has lost its meaning. It is the truth. The only limits to what you can achieve, socially, physically, spiritually, or in any other realm, are dictated by how much you know.

Acquiring new knowledge has never been easier. There is no topic that you can’t learn a lot about just using the internet. There has never been a more wide-open availability of information. You don’t need to go to college to find the answers you seek, and you need a device with an internet connection and a desire to know more. Anyone can become an expert in anything by merely devoting time toward what interests you.

Take some time for yourself today, whenever you can, and dedicate your mind to learning something new: a new insight, a new problem to solve, a modern philosophy of life. Time spent learning is the most precious time in life. You are learning because you want to, not because you have to or because it will bring you success or wealth. This education is the purest form of knowledge, and the determining factor of success or failure lies in your attitude toward learning.

“Ignorance is God’s prison. Knowing is God’s palace.”

Whatever you do and want to learn, don’t stop believing that you can accomplish great things!

 

 

22

Treasure Inside

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It can be fantastic to think we spend so much time and effort in our lives looking for things that are outside of our existence to make us happy. We seek riches, fame, love, and acceptance from others out there……somewhere.

The place we should be looking for is much easier to locate and closer to us. It is situated in the confines of our being. The thoughts, beliefs, and actions we take in pursuit or because of these things are all contributing factors to what we have and do not have in our lives. We are always looking for gold and treasure outside. We undertake a journey because we feel compelled to seek our fame and fortune. But the hidden gem is not buried under and X on an island in the Pacific Ocean. Our greatest treasure is hiding in the last place we think to look. But like pirates of old legends, we search the world over with a flourish. We look at our job, relationships, or even our family, but we never seem to be looking in the right place.   Your treasure exists. You need to know where to start looking for it.

Why We Look In the Wrong Place

People are continually looking for a break that will allow their greatness togold 2 be shown to the world and bring the success they dream will make them happy and free. That break we are looking for has to come through the minefield of issues that we have developed over a lifetime.

Some blocks stop us from achieving the goals that we dream of. All blocks come from unresolved issues within ourselves, so if we can resolve these things and arrive at a place of acceptance, we are on the right path. This power is in yourself and nowhere else, and it is up to you to tap into this reservoir of energy. Reading books and learning can help show you the way, but that will never change until the individual takes the initiative. All things you want to accomplish, big or small, all begin with how you think. Get your mind in order, come to grips with your limits, overcome them, and see what is there. Limiting thoughts and beliefs are built on our experiences, and we can change them any time we choose by changing how we think about our experiences.

Look Inside of You

Take a moment and take that honest look inside yourself and decide how you feel about what you see. Do you know the power that you have? Or do you see all the excuses your beliefs tell you? Ask yourself, why not? Your mind will answer you with the programming you have built over the years. Could you write it down? Once you see your limiting beliefs in writing, you can eliminate them and create a more positive perspective on the action. Your thoughts will become your beliefs, and your views will dictate the reality that you experience. If you feel you are not suitable or not worthy of love or afraid of putting yourself out there, then it can’t be a surprise when that is your reality.

Focus on what you can do, the actions you can take, lead the gold inside you, or nothing, depending on your attitude and actions. Do this, and the world outside of you will fall into place. It will not be easy or automatic, but the thoughts inside you will dictate your world, and it is your choice which thoughts you give acceptance to and which you do not. If most people saw the beauty and power they possess and ignored everything they don’t like, we would see many more dreams come true.

Our Purpose

All of us share the wealth inside of us that the world is looking for. There is a wealth of talent, kindness, and caring waiting there and in many.

This is the wealth that lies within each of us waiting to be used.
This wealth lies within each of us, waiting to be used.

cases, it’s dormant. You are seeking the opportunity to come out and see its fate in the world. It never will if we don’t give it a chance. That chance can come when outside forces convince you or you to convince yourself. There is no value that you can find outside of you that doesn’t exist inside of you first. To create a treasure in your mind and take action toward making it a reality. The only person who can make this wealth evident is you by honestly looking at the things holding you back and replacing limiting beliefs with more positive ideas. Let your kindness and quest for service push you in the right direction.

‘Learning too soon our limitations, we never learn our powers.’-Lydia Sweatt.

“You begin to fly when you let go of self-limiting beliefs and allow your mind and aspirations to rise to greater heights.” ―Brian Tracy.

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do, and you can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” ―Mary Kay Ash.

“Do just once what others say you can’t do, and you will never notice their limitations again.” ―James Cook.

 

22

Free, Available, Unoccupied

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Space-a continuous area or expanse that is free, available, or unoccupied.

One of the words that can be difficult to understand and find in our lives is personal space. This area is defined as the area in which someone has room to grow and develop their skills and ideas and understand the talents they possess and the things they know.

It is essential to find our personal space and allow for those we care about to have theirs. However, people often seem to behave like steamrollers, plowing through other people’s boundaries and exact needs to reassure themselves. Become aware of the space you need and the space you can provide for others today in your thoughts, words, and actions.

Space for Others

When you look at the people you care about, it is crucial to notice how much space they need. Not everyone is the same. Some people need a consistent dose of space, while others are in more need of the company to make it through the day. One of the most effective ways to know how much space someone needs is to ask. It is one of the things people don’t talk about. If you are in a relationship, people are afraid that there is something wrong if they don’t want to be together. The need for solitude is innate in people and allows for growth. The deeper a person is, the more consciousness they usually want to develop and the more time they need themselves.

Value the time you are invited into that space and understand that all people need to seek growth. Don’t take the request for time alone as a personal insult or a sign of trouble in a relationship. It is only selfishness that strives to take space away from someone else. If you care about them, let them grow in the ways they need to succeed. Fish have to swim, birds have to fly, and people need to be who they are. Give them space.

Space for You

That leads to finding space for yourself. We live in a society where being alone is difficult and even undesirable. There is a constant noise in the background, and this television or radio noise keeps our minds occupied and makes us seem less alone. But the actual crime in this is that you never get a chance to think for yourself and contemplate anything real. You need to look at your experience and decide what you like and would like to improve. Thoughts can be a complex and challenging thing. Often they cry for change, and change is difficult.

Find your space to read, think, and grow. To be your best and develop and grow into what you can be. Don’t be afraid of the area; seek it. Don’t hide from it; create it. In the spaces of our lives, we find the answers to the questions we ask. Find your answers in whatever area you like. It can be found in meditation, nature, or even just a moment doing a hobby that you enjoy. Whatever space you want, find it.

Space The Final Frontier

Star Trek always used this saying at the beginning of the show, and it is valid for personal space and the space in the universe. All that can be created and accomplished is waiting for you in the areas of life. Look at your life and seek the rooms containing your creations and possibilities. This will arise from your awareness of space and your need for it, and your consciousness will develop through every thought, word, and action around seeking and using your area. Searching the universe or your individuality is all the same. New worlds are going to be discovered.

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Viktor E. Frankl

“Our space is a playground for growth. Revel in it.”

 

 

22

Find Your Freedom

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Freedom- the power or the right to act, speak or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint.

One factor that influences the enjoyment that a person has in their life is the amount of freedom they experience every day.  The focus of this word is to encourage people to raise their level of consciousness; each of us has space all around us or the lack thereof.  How much power does a person have to act, speak, or think as one wants?  Be conscious of your thoughts, words, and actions and take a brief moment to analyze why you do the things you do, say the things you speak, and think about what you believe. Are we as free as we think? Or, more importantly, are our freedoms limited by what other people think?  Look at the messages the institutions of the world are publishing and question their validity. Be yourself, not the puppet of an idea or philosophy.  Remain free.

Freedom of Thought

We are free to think whatever we want when it comes to thought. However, there are influences on our thinking all of the time. People need to be vigilant to ensure that they do not believe what someone else wants them to believe. We are bombarded with messages about what is “right.”

Silhouette of a child jumping cliff with sunset background

thought from the time we enter the world and throughout our development. Parents, relatives, teachers, friends, popular television, marketers, and media invest time training your mind to think as they would like you to.  If you are not careful, there is no room for unique thoughts because you are too busy doing what others tell you.

Please put all of that aside and look at your thoughts and where they came from. Are they something that you feel, or are they something somebody else wishes you to think?  Prejudice, hate, and intolerance are often thoughts taught to us by others. You have the freedom to dislike anyone you want. You also have the freedom to care about all people as you should. Your choice is the love, acceptance, and kindness you show toward others. There is no more critical freedom than this. You have the freedom to stay away from stereotypes and the fear-based mentality that will take away your liberties.  Love makes you accessible. Fear limits you. Your freedom is to choose thoughts in either direction and live with the consequences.

Freedom of Action

Are we free to act any way we want? In some ways we are, in the United States today, people can dress however they like, go where they want, and do the things they want to do. This surface freedom of acting any way you wish to has limits.  You can’t break the laws or norms of society, or you will be punished. These laws are working to keep us safe, but too many regulations limit the amount of freedom a person has.  Simple things like seat belt laws work to take away a person’s choice.  Even though I believe it is safer to wear a seatbelt than not. It should still be my choice.  Taking away options from people is a limit on freedom.

Look at your life and how society is trying to limit your freedom. Through awareness, you will notice your rights to freedom being eroded. Look at the limits placed on your actions and the limit of choice society wants to provide.  It is in these things that your liberation exists. Who knows better how to keep you safe and provide you with a life you enjoy, you or the government?  You or the Church?  You or any other organization?  How you choose to act and use your freedom is vital to the enjoyment you get out of life.  Be conscious of the releases of action that you experience every day.

What Does Freedom Mean to YOU??

Freedom can be a terrifying proposition. Along with freedom of thought, choice, and action comes responsibility.  This is the tricky part because you are responsible for your actions.  It can be much easier to follow a protocol and do what you are told in a job. There is no responsibility in this chain of command, and there is no original thought or creativity.  Some people only want to live in a gilded cage of illusionary freedom. That is fine for them but not for everybody. The enclosure protects you from your fears and makes you believe all is well.

If you don’t want to be limited by the system or find out what you are capable of, you have to leave the cage and face your fears. In facing your fear, the light of truth will reveal them for what they are,  just thoughts. Once the fear of freedom is conquered, there is no telling where you can go and what you can do.  The only person limiting you then is you.

What is Real Freedom?

When we are born, we are free.  As we develop through society’s teaching, our freedom is stripped away.  We learn to sit in rows, be quiet, follow directions, never question authority, and find the “right” answers to all things.  But deep inside of us all is the desire to be free. To make your line, sit out of order, question all things, and do things your way.  Innovation happens this way, and inventions occur this way. Life is changed this way.

So be conscious today of your freedom and where you can exercise it. It exists everywhere, in the world, or just in your mind.  Be aware of your thoughts, words, and actions, understand why you do what you do, and accept what you accept from others.  For every person seeking freedom of expression, there seems to be someone else seeking to repress it.

“Expose yourself to your deepest fear; after that, fear has no power, and freedom shrinks and vanishes. You are free.” ~

“Some birds are not meant to be caged, that’s all. Their feathers are too bright, their songs too sweet and wild. So you let them go, or when you open the cage to feed them, they somehow fly out past you. And the part of you that knows it was wrong to imprison them in the first place rejoices, but still, the place where you live is that much more drab and empty for their departure.” ― Stephen King

 

 

22

Be A Proactive Person

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Proactive Choices Change Everything

Being a human being is a complicated and sometimes painful journey. A person is continuously challenged with new situations, asked to take in further information, and learns to deal with new people in their lives all the time. Still, we have one great choice to make in all of this, which allows us to be in control of ourselves, even when events occur which are out of our control. This power is the choice to be proactive. It means more than just taking the initiative in any situation; instead, you accept responsibility for wherever you are in life and whatever you are experiencing.

What is the Responsibility?

When you look at the word responsibility and break it up, you will see what it means: Response- Ability or your ability to respond. Each of us is continually responding to the situations we experience, and it is the manner we respond that dictates who we are. We are all responsible for our choices in this matter. If you are at the mercy of your emotions and react in anger, you own the results of that situation. If you practice avoidance and hide in drugs or alcohol consumption, you own the results of that action. This ownership comes whether you want it or not.

If you choose to be proactive, you accept responsibility for all aspects of your life and the circumstances you are experiencing. As recent events in the world have shown, some things occur outside of our control. Still, our reaction to it, the way we act toward others and choose to feel about ourselves, is that we are self-aware enough to recognize the tools we have at our disposal to be great. It is a conscious choice to live based on your values rather than on what events your life faces. As in all things, there is another choice,  to be reactive.

Being Reactive

When you choose to empower things around you, people, events, occurrences, conditions, or pandemics to affect and control you. If times are comfortable, a reactive person will be in a good mood. If they face difficulty or a challenge, that is all it takes to feel bad and act worse. I read a great thought that reactive people will be significantly affected by the weather, whereas proactive people carry their weather with them. It doesn’t make a difference if it is raining or the sun is shining, they are value-driven, and those values, kindness, charity, understanding, and caring are not put off by a little cloudy weather.

All people are affected by external stimuli, weather, forced social distancing, or pandemics, but the choice of response is different for each. If one thing is taken away, you can focus on that or start to find ways to enjoy your life anyway. Any external event can’t hurt our essential character unless we allow it. Economic hardships are challenging to navigate in life because they are fraught with worry. Being reactive is to feel sorry for yourself and blame everyone else. The bold choice is to do whatever you can do to survive and look for better ways to protect yourself in the future.

Take Initiative

This simple act of taking the initiative is a driving force in determining who is ultimately successful and who is not. People often do not recognize their responsibility to make things happen in their lives. Setting intentions to be something or do something is a great start, but nothing will happen without action.   We all have a reservoir of resourcefulness and initiative to pull from in our lives. As each of us examines our lives, we recognize situations where we have been resourceful to solve problems and make things happen, which were excellent.

Also, there have been moments in each person’s life where they had to take the initiative to get a better job, have a great relationship, take advantage of an opportunity, or any other positive thing a person has created. If you don’t think any of those things have ever happened to you, you are not looking closely enough. All human beings are capable of taking the initiative.

Final Thought

Be proactive today in how you react. If the national news media is bringing you down, take the initiative to shut it off and do something productive. Nothing can stop you from doing that but you. If you have free time to spend with your children, then finish it willingly and realize these circumstances will probably not happen again in the width of their childhood. How they look back on this situation in 10-20 years will be determined by the choices they make and the attitude they display.

It is a fact that difficult times will come to us all, and our response to that situation will define who we are to the world. You can’t speak of kindness and caring about your fellow man on one hand and then attempt to hoard a ten-year supply of toilet paper on the other. As I said, these decisions will define you.

“Do what today others won’t, so tomorrow, you can do what others can’t.” Brian Rogers Loop

 

“The only way to end a culture of violence is to proactively create a peace culture.”–Marianne Williamson

“Think proactively and dynamically. Be realistic, but set your sights high.” Lorii Myers

“We must take proactive steps to promote democracy and human rights abroad.”–Sam Brownback

 

“Learn from yesterday, live for today. Hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.”–Albert Einstein

 

22

I Get Knocked Down

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In all stages of my life, I have had the experience of life presenting me with situations that have broken me apart, like the shattering of a mirror, which reflected the life I was living and enjoying. Then I would look at the unrecognizable shards of that existence and wonder how I could put that back together into something enjoyable, valuable, worthwhile, or just plain old good? This question has come up all too often, and I imagine that I am not in the minority. All of us move through challenges caused by other callous actions or vacuous behaviors. Or worse, we are the victim of situations entirely of our own. A thoughtless action, selfishness, petty thought, or something we let our emotions push us toward.

Either way, the lives we knew are destroyed and left unrecognizable. Our chore is to try to piece something resembling value together from the ashes of the giant dumpster fire that is your current situation. The good news is. Thousands of people do this every day and rise again and live a happy and successful life even though they were crushed and broken by a challenging experience. If one person can do it, so can you. Let’s piece our lives back together again.

Proactive, not Reactive

I am never more sorry for someone than when they have found someone or something that makes them happy. Why? You ask. Once you let something outside of you make you happy, it can be taken away, bringing the opposite response to your life. The difference between allowing something to be as it is and allowing it to destroy your feelings and life is a tiny one. Allowing someone or something to control your happiness will make you accountable to that person or thing. Don’t rely on anyone else for your enjoyment or anything to bring your life more joyful. These things are best found on our terms and manifested in our minds and hearts.

That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy times with others, but the minute you allow a person to be the momentum of happiness in your life, you are at their mercy. If they are immature, unstable, uncaring, mean, or all of the above, you have allowed their inner depravity to control your level of happiness. You will live a reactionary life instead of being proactive in creating your measure of happiness. Proactively seek things outside of a relationship that makes you happy or understand your self-worth by yourself. You can start doing this today in any way to let your actions lead to the experiences you desire in life. Don’t let your thoughts, behaviors, and feelings be dictated by someone or something else.

Living In the Moment

It can be challenging to focus on being mindful when life falls apart. Finding the balance between experiencing emotions about events and people who are no longer in your life and sharing the things fully in your day is tricky. Throw in the seemingly natural anxiety about the future and what might happen, and putting our lives back together is a challenge. But I think to rebuild a meaningful experience, it takes the ability to let yourself live in and enjoy the moment.

Each moment is a chance to establish a life you want. When your pieces are shattered into nothing, there is an excellent opportunity to rebuild yourself back into any form you desire. You can remove the toxic people from your life, leave an unfulfilling job, and create something from your soul. Don’t focus on the past, and try to recreate something gone. And try not to worry about what you will be in the future. Focus your thoughts and energy on what you want that person to be today as you take each broken piece of yourself and put it back together. The person you are constructing will be the best version of yourself today. After all, it is only at this very moment we can live; everything else is just an illusion of thought.

Be A Good Builder

Take advantage of the opportunity presented to you to make changes in yourself you have always wanted to create. If you’re going to look different, train differently, and grow in a new way, what better time to start than when all of your life has been shattered. There is an excellent opportunity for you to put those pieces back together in a way you find more appealing. Is there a dream you have always wanted to chase? A new path you want to follow? Just new things to do? Doing them now when your life is shattered may be the time. What do you have to lose? You can’t be any more destroyed than you already are. Your past choices have led you to this moment, and perhaps a new direction in thought and action is just what you need.

You are the architect and the builder of your life experience. You allow other people and circumstances to motivate you and move you, but your life will be a direct and complete reflection of you. Blaming others and events outside of yourself may make you feel better, but you made the choices, and you pay the cost. So make choices you want to represent you personally, in your relationships, finances, and every other aspect of life you can imagine. Be the best and most creative carpenter in your life today. With all of your pieces lying at your feet, put them back together in the manner you dream of, and your life will become the one you desire of. You are in control of how you are represented in life. Build it all well.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” —James Altucher

“Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.” —Mireille Guiliano

“I feel like I have a job to do like I constantly have to reinvent myself. The more I up the ante for myself, the better it is in the long run.” —Kevin Hart

“We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options.” —David Suzuki

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” —George Bernard Shaw

 

 

22

Quiet Spaces for Rejuvenation

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As a younger person,  I often got impatient with what life brought. Hurry up! Let us get to the next stage already. Being impatient is one of the weaknesses and follies of youth. There are patterns in life, and each has its purpose. As a young person, I didn’t look for them. Life presents many challenging circumstances, thrills, accomplishments, and disappointments. Breathing space is defined as a temporary interval of quiet or lack of activity, a time when life gives you a space to look around and take a breath or two. There is a lull period after any big moment, positive or negative,  where a person needs a chance to gather themselves before moving toward the next goal, adventure, or challenge. It is a natural time to reflect, evaluate, and adjust to your life. Learn to value the lulls.

Lack of Action time

Unfortunately, the period of breathing space is not appreciated or valued particularly highly in our society, and it is looked at as wasted time or an unwanted time of emptiness. We work to fill all of our moments with something. Games, TV, movies, or music in the background all engage our minds and stop us from thinking. We are afraid of the quiet because of what we might learn, feel, or remember. These things might lead to change, but they will also lead to a greater appreciation for the lesson you just learned and how to apply it to the life you have in front of you.

Reflection is one of the most valuable things that I have taken from the space designed to catch your breath in my life. One of the best times happened when I had a chance to relax and reflect on what I had just experienced. Whenever there is an ending, take time to reflect on the experience. It may be only for a moment, or it may be longer, but we should use the time to evaluate the situation you have just gone through and process it appropriately. Recognize when you were wrong and just as important when you were wronged by someone else. Learn from what happened and realize the hard lessons a seemingly friendly person with poor intentions can cause.

How to Process

Processing the past can be difficult. It is always hard to get through the painful feelings to see the value of the experience. However, until this point, each occasion I have had has presented me with a value of some sort. Not all experiences are pleasant and warm, but that is not what life promises. Everything we see, hear, and do is design to allow us to learn something. If the same thing keeps coming to us, then there is something that we haven’t learned and need to face again. Like a student needs to pass Algebra 1  before moving on to more complex math. We need to retain specific life lessons before we move on to something else.

So take a moment and list the positive and negative things you have faced in this particular experience. What is the value? Sometimes the value isn’t known until you get down the line a bit from what just happened. Connecting the dots is easy to do. Looking back, those dots reveal the value of a situation. Even the most challenging circumstances teach you lessons. Probably precious ones. Process all things and learn what you can, and take it forward.

Cherish Quiet Moments

Reflection is a time that I have learned to cherish. To look at even bad situations that are not enjoyable to find the lesson. It has always been there, and if you don’t learn it now, it may just come up again later. Before long, you will be on to the next adventure of life, and there won’t be time to look back appropriately and find the value. When the lulls present themselves to you, take advantage and enjoy the moment. Seek the motive, understand

There is a lesson to learn about relationships, jobs, trips, the climb, the project, the graduation, the birth, the death …………  There are the answers you are seeking in a moment of quiet. They are waiting in the ripples of a lake, underneath the rocks of a river, or in the quiet moment. Take time and look for them. They provide beauty to all of life most people miss because they are too busy avoiding thought to look inside the lull and understand the message that is living there.

Life is full of patterns, of “highs” and “lows” that are only different moments of mental intensity that allow for learning or understanding. Many live their lives with questions and never take the time to seek the answers. Experience makes a deal with us that there is always a reason behind it. In reflection and contemplation, we will find it if you can recognize the lull and appreciate the silence and thought that it provides.

“Solitude is very different from a ‘time-out’ from our busy lives. Solitude is the very ground from which community grows. Whenever we pray alone, study, read, write, or simply spend quiet time away from the places where we interact with each other directly, we are potentially opened for a deeper intimacy with each other.” -Henri Nouwen

“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly, and honestly – spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.”- Susan L. Taylor

“It’s important to have quiet time and isolation.”- John Burnside

 

22

Looking Inside

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There exist many different ideas of who we are inside. Identity seems to change as people move from one social situation to another. But the person we should be looking for inside us is our higher or best self. To achieve our best is the version of you that resonates inside yourself with joy and love. There is no fear in this inner upbeat version of you. This best version has the potential to exist in all of us and can be accessed following some simple steps. A quick change of focus and consciousness will point you in the right direction.

Know Where You Are

The first thing we have to do is acknowledge where we are right now on our journey. Honestly and completely. Are you working a job that fulfills you? Is there room for growth? Are you doing what brings you joy? Are there things in your life you have to change? Or need to change for your health’s sake? Acknowledge it all and bring it into the front of your thoughts and awareness. Too often, let things slide and ignore the habits and situations we put ourselves in daily, which do not resonate with us. See what you want to change, and then be still and envision what the perfect job will look like for you. Knowing where you are will make your destination a lot easier to find.

Be Kind to You

How we treat ourselves and speak to ourselves will determine how easy it is to connect to our best selves. It is easy to say that loving yourself is the first step. You are sending compassion and love to yourself rather than focusing on blame or shame in any situation. Things done in the past are in the past, and you can’t change them. Rather than beat yourself up for it, tell yourself that you did the best you could. Know that you will react more positively when faced with the same circumstance. Love yourself at this moment and let your best self rise to the surface.

Notice Your Thoughts

Not only the thoughts about yourself but your thoughts about everything. See your thought patterns and honestly evaluate the negativity and positivity of each thread of thought that exists. Your thoughts will control your emotions and, ultimately, your behavior, so it is vital to be conscious of the pattern of thinking. Beliefs that have been ingrained in you since you were young influence specific patterns of thought and can be harmful without conscious recognition. See your ideas for what they are when it comes to your perspectives and beliefs, and that will provide an opportunity to transform them into something that will represent the best parts of you.

How to Speak to Yourself

When you talk to yourself in your mind, speak as if you were talking to a best friend or a valued, loved one. The way you talk to and feel about yourself sets the tone for how you view yourself in the world. There were times when I was not so lovely to my reflection in the mirror—cutting down my physical appearance—avoiding the right parts, and focusing on the things about my body that I didn’t like. Now I hope to be a little more compassionate to myself. We should all speak to ourselves with compassion. Your best self will rise from this and become apparent.

Do things that connect with you and make you feel good about your life and who you are. It could be exercise, art, or writing. When you are your best, accept who you are, what you are doing, and where you are going. Your best self will rise and enter your life.

There is only one corner of the universe you can be sure of improving, and that’s your self.– Aldous Huxley

Work on yourself more than you do on your job.– Jim Rohn

The goal is not to be better than the other man but your previous self.  – The Dalai Lama