Lives are spent constructing the person we think we ought to be. We follow advice, thoughts, and ideas taught to us from birth as to what our lives “should” look like and what we “should” do so we will be happy and prosperous. It is not until a little later in life you start to realize you bought a bad bill of goods. Why is this? Because when you do all the things they told you to do and get to the place you “should” be, you find happiness isn’t there.

Life needs to have meaning, and in my opinion, we spend too much time chasing and focusing on the wrong things rather than pursuing ambition and building castles in the air, looking for gratification from the outside. We should be seeking pleasure from the inside, which can only come from putting the acquisition of stuff to the side and searching for something that resonates on the inside. This feeling includes looking for someone else to provide happiness in your life. That is an empty vessel you can carry. It is up to you to determine where your joy comes from in your own life. Start experiencing the things that matter to you on the inside.

Who Are we?

Before you can move your life from one of ambition to one of meaning, you have to understand just what it is that carries meaning for you. It seems like an easy question, but when faced with understanding, there are barriers between you and what gives sense to you. We have been taught many false things about just who we are. We are told that our identity is wrapped around the things we have, the job we do, or what others think of us. When in reality, the opposite of these things is exact.

We are not the things we have. Accumulate all the material things in the world, and you can still feel unfulfilled and empty. Material things can’t fill the holes in our souls. Your job is an activity and not an identity. Too often, the line between our duty and our identity gets blurred, and if we take the responsibility away, we don’t know who we are. Many have gone into severe depression after they lost a job because they were so identified with it. Now it is gone, who exactly are they? You are not your job.

What others think of us can be a significant factor in the actions of many. We are programmed from birth to want to be accepted, be held up on a pedestal, and be singled out in the minds of others. The only thoughts that matter is the ones we have about ourselves. If something means a lot to you, that is all that matters. What others think is none of our business. You can never be true to yourself if you are worried about how others will view it. You are not what others think of you. That goes for those we love as well. Although we hope their opinions will be positive and supportive.

Finding Meaning

It is my experience that life lacks meaning unless it is serving an end beyond itself. This idea is challenging for our programming to comprehend. Unless what we seek has value to that outside of us, then it isn’t easy to find happiness within. Could it be as simple as looking for things that are outside of our selfish desires? We are all connected whether we like it or not. The true meaning seems to be a two-way street with the traffic of what we give and getting equal movement.

We give what we have to give to those outside of us, and we are open receivers for the things they have to send back to us. I don’t think it is productive to think you know it all because there is no way you could. Give what you can and be open to receiving from someone else. There is no better way to create a vibrant life of constant growth, caring, and happiness which will result.

Look for the things you can give to others today, not in the physical realm but in the spiritual and mental world. Kind thoughts, supportive words, understanding, and acceptance. See what you have the capacity to receive as well. Let the two-way street run clear in your life.

There will be times in life when you feel overwhelmed, confused, down, disheartened, and disregarded. Know experience is supporting you and bringing great good your way if you are open to receiving it. Sometimes we spend so much time staring at a door that was closed for us. We never see another available right behind us, behind which everything we desire is waiting. All we have to do is be open, understand it, and make an effort to walk through.

I encourage us all to take the time and look for meaning in the things we are experiencing. Try to take the view that the long game of life will be an enjoyable experience ultimately and provide you with the joy you are seeking. But you have to do your part and know what that looks like.

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

“In some way, suffering ceases to be suffering at the moment it finds a meaning, such as the meaning of a sacrifice.”

“At such a moment, it is not the physical pain which hurts the most (and this applies to adults as much as to punished children); it is the mental agony caused by the injustice, the unreasonableness of it all.”