All posts by Jonathan Hilton

22

POSITIVE SELF-TALK

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The conversation occurs subtly behind the actions of

self-talk-head-1the day. We are a massive part of one that we rarely take the time to analyze the tone or tenor of which we are speaking. This is self-talk, an ongoing dialogue inside your head that will contribute commentary on the happenings you experience. Too often, people accept the conversation, and it is most decidedly dripping with negativity. We tend to be extremely hard and give extremely harsh criticism, often crushing our confidence and self-esteem. Once a person becomes aware of this talk, though, they can consciously change their self-talk and start building a more positive self-image. This will change the way you look at yourself and how others look at you.

Why So Negative and Hard on Yourself?

In the development of life, there is programming Negative-self-talkthat takes place. All people are given beliefs or programming through the early experience of their lives. Interactions with parents, siblings, relatives, friends, teachers, and the media, combine to let us know the rules of this game called life. Most of the messages are learned through pain, and we learn to want to avoid pain and seek pleasure. The talk in your head is generally geared to preventing foul, but things go a bit haywire.

The programming we experienced mainly was completed when we were between 5-10 years old and has become obsolete, outdated, or just plain untrue. When you start to notice this voice and see how negative it is, you can change your programming and not allow negative, stubborn, or defeatist thoughts to exist in your mind. You have the power to change, and it starts with a personal awareness of your thoughts. If you believe you are incapable of doing something, then you certainly will be. It is self-defeating, and most aren’t even aware it is happening.

Be Kind to You, Change the Self Talk

Self-Talk-2As you look at this conversation and hear the comments your mind is producing, ask yourself with each one, “Is this true?”, “Is this kind?” “Is this necessary?”  If the comments are not all of these things, you should probably pay no mind to it.

How you treat yourself will be relevant to the experience you have in life. If a person will not treat themselves with respect, encouragement, and understanding, then who will?

Take a moment today and listen to re are your self-talk and decide if the conversation needs to change. All change talkpeople are capable of quick and dramatic change in this area only by choosing to treat themselves better.

If you are not going to treat yourself in a caring and loving manner, why would anyone else?

Change from I can’t to I CAN

Change from No to Yes

Change from I have Doubts to I have no Doubts.

Change from Impossible to Possible

Change from I’m Unable to I Am Able

Stop expecting the worst and Demand the Best!

There is a positive opposite waiting to be noticed and used for every negative, self-defeating phrase you have ever spoken.

22

You Choose

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decitcionsEvery day we are responsible for making many choices. We make choices about how we feel about everything and everybody.   When you lack money, what opportunity do you have? When you lack love, what choice do you have? When you require praise and recognition for your greatness, what choice do you have? That is what I am thinking about today. In all things, we have a choice, it is given to us when we are born, and our choices dictate the experience of our lives. It can be easy to forget. When things go wrong, our mind makes the choices leading to the current lesson. Our destiny is shaped in these moments, and we have to be responsible for it. Here are some thoughts on options and how they affect your life.

Choosing

For every choice, the opposite is always available. A negative to a positive, a yin to the yang of things. Here is a small list I read the other day.

www.public-domain-image.com (public domain image)
I am choosing to love rather than hate.

This is a simple choice in dealing with all people and situations. No matter what another person does, you have this choice. Of course, you have this choice about yourself as well.

Choosing to laugh rather than cry.

You can look at all situations from a variety of directions. You can choose to look at the negative and cry or the positive and laugh. It is a choice that you will make each day, and it will color your life one way or another.

Choosing to create rather than destroy.

We build things up or tear them down, including ourselves and our precious self-esteem. All people have greatness within them, and it is up to you to decide to create from it or destroy it. You are in destiny22control of this. Take responsibility.

Choosing to persevere rather than quit.

This is a decision that we face in life from when we are children until we finally end life, hopefully in old age. To persevere and keep on trying our best to be what we are capable of. Or to give in and leave our passion and potential unfulfilled. Quitting can become a nasty habit if you aren’t careful. Perseverance is a talent.

I am choosing to praise rather than gossip.

It is just as easy to speak well of someone to talk negatively. Praise the people’s good qualities in your life to their faces and when they are not around. Gossip is poison to all involved. It is that chatter of a small mind. They are looking to tear someone down to build themselves else up. Praise all, and good things will come to you. It will start inside of you. Gossip and reap those “rewards.”

imagesI am choosing to heal rather than wound.

This is a simple choice to be a force of wellness rather than destruction. All people have experienced pain, and your words and actions toward other people will heal or wound. The decision is all up to you. You don’t have to like everyone to approach them with a gentle understanding that heals rather than a harsh judgment that wounds.

Choosing to give rather than take. 

What you give in life is most often what you receive in the end. If you choose to steal then, people will take from you. The act of stealing will lead to something else being stolen. Give freely, and all things will come to you. Steal selfishly, and all will be taken away. That is the way the world works.

Choosing to act rather than procrastinate

The action is the key to success. All the planning in the world and great ideas are nothing without the effort to make it all happen. Do things, try things, experiment, and look for a way to thrive. Do nothing, and nothing will ever happen. Action destroys fear and enlightens knowledge. You will know!

Layout 1I am choosing to grow rather than to rot.

If you do not practice your talents and hone them, they will rot like a garden that is not being tended. If things are managed and cared for, you can yield delicious fruit, or the vegetables will rot on the vine if left alone. You are the one making the decisions for your garden, and I am the best.

I am choosing to pray rather than curse.

It doesn’t matter if you are religious or not; the act of silent contemplation is vital to growth and self-understanding. I don’t believe it matters how you get to this space, but it does matter that you get there. Recognize a force behind all of life. The magic that makes hearts beat and love occurs. It is a choice of being grateful for and loving life or looking to blame someone for any perceived difficulty. It is your choice to curse God or the universe about the challenges in your life or be grateful for the lessons and growth that always result.

I am choosing to live rather than to die.

Whether we are truly living or not is a decision that we make each day. The activities in life are unimportant to me. It is the appreciation we have for the present moment that counts. If you are looking at the past, you are not here. If you are worried about the future, you are not here. If you are not here, then you are not alive. Be here, see what is happening, appreciate the challenges and people you see. Even evil people can teach a valuable lesson. Learning lessons are what life is all about because that is growth. Death occurs when change doesn’t exist.

There are some choices you have every day. We are all responsible for the choices we make, and they are reflected in the value of our lives. The power is all inside you by making a choice each day.

“When you make a choice, you change the future.”
― Deepak Chopra

“Be as careful of the books you read, as of the company you keep, for your habits and character will be as much influenced by the former as the latter.”― Paxton Hood.

“What you choose also chooses you.”
― Kamand Kojouri

“You are creating through your choices, even now. Choose wisely.”― Bryant McGill.

“Faith is life, knowledge is death, and choosing the correct one is wisdom.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qssWO8NSq0

 

21

Learning to Surrender

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Learning to surrender to where you are in life is confusing to comprehend. It is the idea that you accept the present moment, but it doesn’t mean that you have to allow yourself to stay in an unhealthy or dangerous situation. It means that you recognize the problem for what it is, and then through conscious choice, you can start to make decisions that will allow you to move in a more positive and healthy direction. Seeing clearly and concisely is not a victim mentality but the beginning of your conscious choices.

Thinking about Surrender

Many hear the word Surrender and think you are giving in to whatever is wrong in your life. If you are experiencing abuse, addiction, or other adverse situations, you are not just allowing it to happen. Instead, it means identifying where you are clearly and in the present moment. Too often, our minds avoid the now because we hope it will change or for the reason that nobody will notice. To look at your moment and honestly understand where you are is a moment where you can pivot into a change. Knowing where you are, allows you to construct a map to flow toward where you are meant to be.

Surrender never means being passive in accepting any situation you may be living in and having no power of action. You always have that. People should never stop planning, dreaming, or creating a decisive battle in their lives. Surrender is honestly seeing where you are and flowing with that situation instead of fighting against it. Accepting your present moment without condition is the beginning of giving up your inner resistance to change, life, and who you are. Internal resistance uses mental judgment and negative emotions to say no to what is happening in your life.

Here Comes the Pain

Things will go “wrong” in life. Things will never be exactly as we think they should be in all aspects. First of all, who are we to think we understand how things should be? Millions of variables affect the world that we know nothing about. Life is much wiser than any of us. So rather than judge, accept things and people as they are, not force them to be what you think they should be. The difference between what your rigid expectations create and what is in the world is the pain you are experiencing in life.

Surrender is the power to let go of your expectations of your children, parents, spouses, loved ones, bosses, employees, and anyone in your life. When you accept people as they are and surrender your expectations, much of the pain and sorrow of life is eliminated from your life. This subtraction is a process that takes place on the inside and will allow you to make decisive, healthy actions for positive change in the outside physical world. But with no inner change of thought and understanding, external change and positive movement are nearly impossible.

Acceptance and Choice

Accepting where things are now does not make you take the situation you are in total. All undesirable or unpleasant life situations need not be accepted as part of your reality in the present moment. Stating the obvious is not acceptance but denying something as if there is nothing wrong when it is maybe delusional.

An honest recognition of a situation will allow you to choose if you want to get out. Looking at the current location without judgment or resistance to what it is will let you see what affirmative action is required from you and decide whether to take it or not. Being in the present moment ultimately will allow you the power to break out of your conditioned past and move you toward a life of surrendering to what is and away from the constructs of the egoic life.

“Surrender is deeply misunderstood as an act of weakness. Surrender is the bravest and most obvious thing a human ever does, and that’s why it’s so precious to the Divine.” – Andrew Harvey

22

A Wonderful Life

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I don’t know about you, but I have always wanted to have it all. I spent hours looking outside of myself to find the things I thought would make me whole. I didn’t see the things in my life where I did have it all and didn’t grasp it tight or even enjoy it at the moment because I spent too much time and energy looking ahead to what I might create in the future to see the power and the joy I created in life to enjoy. Looking back provides a 20/20 picture of what was and the mistakes you made in direction and choosing to take yourself out of a situation where you did have it all.

Childhood Adventure

Many people use their upbringing to excuse tough times and poor decisions as an adult, and admittedly I have done this when I look back at traumatic events. But what I failed to realize then was how good I had in life. I was raised by people who cared about me. I had the experience of having great lifelong friends and had many adventures on my own, which taught me a lot about myself and life.

I remember every summer of my youth being spent on the welcoming waters of Dyer’s Long Pond in Jefferson, Maine. It was there I learned to fish, swim, water ski, boat, and sometimes get hurt. Boys play hard and sometimes not so bright. I was able to develop my imagination during those times because we had little else to do. That tool has been one I have most appreciated over the years.

Each day was an adventure, and I was able to see my grandparents pretty much whenever I wanted. I could grow, run, and learn about life. I never went hungry or was left in unsafe circumstances. I was cared for by all my relatives and neighbors in my life. So many people showed me so much kindness that one thank you might be too small a sentiment to show my gratitude, but it is the only phrase I have. I had it all and never knew it.

Love and Light

I have been very fortunate in my life to find love not once but several times.  Like many great things, too often, you don’t take the time to appreciate what you have when you are in it. I have become much better at this because I have seen the things which seem perfect and destined to be, fall apart and fade away into dust clouds of regret and loss.

I am not bitter because this is my path. I have chosen it as much as anyone wants anything. I was responsible for the people I decided to care about and the way it ended in most cases. I have also been responsible for keeping myself at a distance to feel safe. I remember being a young man in my early 20’s and thinking I had met “the one.” It was magical, and we had many fantastic times together. It was me that sabotaged that relationship, not her. We were in a situation where we were young and had our entire future to co-create in front of us, and I was afraid and didn’t speak of it. I just let it destroy the thing we had built. We had it all, and I never saw it. Sadly that isn’t the only time that has happened. These events may have occurred long ago or just a while ago, but they leave deep scars—very extensive wounds.

In The End

We all live our lives the best we can and try to find the best versions of ourselves. Too often, let petty emotions like jealousy and anger stemming from fear rule our decisions. It may seem that everything you want is out there, somewhere. But it all starts inside of you. You are looking at how you think and the actions you take. You choose to be brave, intelligent, kind, caring, and empathetic, or you don’t. That is on you and will define your life. I know too much of my time has been spent being selfish, self-centered, and afraid of allowing others to hurt me.

Even though life has been full of mistakes and times we should have appreciated more, we are still here and have a chance to have it all again in the next moment. This time to allow the wisdom of our past to guide us to a genuine appreciation of what we do have and the realization that we do have it all. That is a pretty good way to live.

“Don’t worry about a thing, ’cause every little thing is gonna be alright!”– Bob Marley.

“Take a deep breath and relax; it’s all going to turn out better than you expected.”

“Even the darkest night will end, and the sun will rise again.”– Victor Hugo.

“Keep your best wishes close to your heart, and watch as your world turns around.”– Tony Deliso.

 

22

Good Afternoon

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Afternoons are the moments of the day that determine precisely what type of day it is going to be. Is it an active day where all things are accomplished? Is it a lower essential day where you relax and seek rejuvenation and activity? The day is begun with the hope and idealism of the morning, but the actions taken are in the afternoon and will determine if we follow through or put it off for another day. The afternoon is an important time for all things and people, and we have to learn to use that time of day. Life is like a day. As we move through it, the different stages bring different opportunities for success and other truths for people. My afternoons have always provided adventure and change, which has been the same in life. The afternoon has proven to be the best time of day.

No Need To Nap

From my earliest memories, I didn’t like the idea of taking a nap during the afternoon. It was a decent idea to provide extra rest, but to me, it was a waste of prime action time. During my youth, we lived in a camp on a lake in Maine. It was not fancy, rustic, but it provided me with the world’s most fabulous playground. I just wanted to use it, and sleeping would take away from what I could accomplish.

Some people enjoy that relaxing snooze after midday, which is excellent for them, but it is still when I could accomplish something. A workout could be done, a trail could be walked, thought could be written, or any other thing could be done. The sun is high; the opportunity for all things exists. It is not time to sleep. It is time to do. Go swim, go fishing or adventure to the small island in the middle of the lake. Do it all. There is plenty of time in the afternoon to accomplish whatever you want.

The Wisdom of the Morning

You also have the benefit of learning the lessons of the morning. You can now use each misstep you took or experience you learned earlier in the day to guide your steps to a more successful conclusion. The blind enthusiasm of the morning has turned into a practiced application of knowledge for the afternoon. One realizes that they don’t know everything, and there is an unlimited possibility of growth for all of your dreams. Challenges come, but you have the strength to work with it or around it if necessary.

Because you are wiser, the morning taught you about your enthusiasm and fundamental nature. Still, the afternoon allows you to rid yourself of the misguided ideas of yourself and, more importantly, others. You can take action as yourself without carrying the yoke of imagined expectations of others. You realize that you are free to be you in the afternoon because the day is not going to last forever. Living your life for someone else’s morals and expectations is living in a lie. The wisdom of the morning is only as powerful as the individual who chooses to wield it.

Nothing Lasts Forever

One of the powerful life lessons is that nothing lasts forever. No matter how good, strong, true, or successful you are, the afternoon will eventually end. Like the afternoons of my youth, as the time moved on, the shadows on the shores began to lengthen. At first, just a little, but then they grew longer and longer as the sun moved lower in the sky, and we all knew it was time to go home and end our adventures for that afternoon. We moved our way along the path to home, with a nostalgic excitement of having a great afternoon and knowing that more would come tomorrow.

It was time to move onto the evening of life, where darkness would overtake our playground, and the sounds of night slowly ramped up into our consciousness—the call of the lonely loon unseen on the lake. The constant peeping of a million frogs just beginning their adventure. The chorus of the night brought a time to reflect on the day’s accomplishments. There was never a moment then that I had a second of regret about the time I spent.

Sleep

It comes to us all at the end of the day, and if you did what you could that day, sleep would come quickly to you. It is a natural part of the day to move from one section to another, and just like the day, life shifts. In the end, recalling our day, we drift off into a peaceful slumber, knowing that in our afternoons, we took advantage of the sun,  and made the most of our playground, and enjoyed the adventures that came our way.

New things enter our lives and teach us many things, but that is not the time to change anything. It is time to put it away and find the rest you have earned. But always recall with fondness the light of the afternoon and the power of potential that existed there for you—waiting merely to be called. Call.

“The late afternoon sunlight, warm as oil, sweet as childhood”-Stephen King

“Summer afternoon, summer afternoon; to me, those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language”-Saul Bellow

“Thoroughly unprepared, we take the step into the afternoon of life. Worse still, we take this step with the false presupposition that our truths and our ideals will serve us as hitherto. But we cannot live the afternoon of life according to the program of life’s morning, for what was great in the morning will be little at evening and what in the morning was true, at evening will have become a lie.” -Carl Jung

 

22

Take Action

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Taking Action

Taking Action
Take action, there is no telling what will happen, but you know what will happen if you do nothing.

Many things have stopped people from taking action in life. There are dreams that people have wanted to chase that they thought about but left untested because taking action appeared just a little bit too scary or confusing. The lesson learned was clear that no matter what a person is dreaming of accomplishing or experiencing, it can only be realized by implementing action to do the thing and see what happens.

Each day, thousands of people look at their lives and have big dreams about what they would like to do, but the lack of action leaves these things in the fog of thought and out of the clarity of reality. Choosing to do things that are a part of that dream or bring that dream to life will allow you to realize your dream.

Action Time

Action can be taken at any time and will provide those who take it with many adventures and exciting experiences in life. Inventions will be invented, books will be written, and knowledge will be gained as soon as you decide to take action must happen. The best thing about it is that anyone, as far as I know, is capable of doing it. If you have been hesitant or fearful, taking action is the cure. Fear is erased with action because then, at least you know.

Many people can do great things and think great thoughts about how the world should be run or different businesses. All possess the capacity to take action on those thoughts and create them in this reality, yet very few do this.

Please Don’t Leave it for someone else.

Too often, we want to leave the chores to somebody else and conveniently forget that we are We are what we dosomebody else and can do everything. Why not us? Why don’t we take action and make the change? First, in our own lives and then to the benefit of others.

Gandhi was just a man living in India who saw racial injustice and remote control. He specialized in organizing non-violent protests that raised awareness of the cause and won the support of the world. Gandhi has been one of the most often quoted human beings from the 20th Century, and one of my favorites is, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” Meaning that if you want something to be different, then act like that yourself.

Some will read this and think that they don’t want to change the world or that they don’t want to lead a revolution. That is fine. Not everyone was cut out for that type of life, but is anyone too busy or too meek to institute an action in their lives that will provide a positive

small actions define the world you live in
These define your world

change?

Taking Action of Kindness

One of the most significant actions that a person can take is to perform an act of kindness. This positive feeling doesn’t have to cost money, and it doesn’t even have to take a lot of time. It merely has to be kind and thoughtful. Hello, and a smile to someone who feels like nobody cares can buoy their soul for an entire day. Giving someone a sincere compliment can make them feel better about how things are going. All of these acts, which are pretty small in the massive scheme of things, can be done by you every day. And without you, they will remain undone. The person who receives the compliment will continue to be sad, the person who needs a smile will be going without that human comfort, and your small actions can make a massive difference in someone else’s life.

When you move through your day and you see an opportunity to make the world a little better place, you can be the change and start taking action. In the most severe cases, one small, seemingly trivial act of kindness could save a life or, at the very least, make the experience a lot more pleasant for everyone you come in contact with but most importantly for yourself. It all begins with taking action.

  • “You don’t have to be great to start, but you have to start to be great.” ~ Joe Sabah
    “Don’t be afraid to take a big step. You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.” ~ David Lloyd George
  • “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act, but a habit.” ~ Aristotle“
  • The superior man acts before he speaks, and afterward says according to his action.” ~ Confucius
    • “The superior man is modest in his speech but exceeds in his actions.” ~ Confucius
    • “You cannot score a goal when you are sitting on the bench. To do so, you have to dress up and enter the game.” ~ Israelmore Ayivor

21

Freedom Time

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freedomAsk almost anyone, and one of the things they want in their life, more than anything else, are feelings of Freedom. But when you think about the concept of Freedom, what exactly does the word mean for you? Most would agree with the standard dictionary definition: the power or right to act, speak or think as one wants without hindrance or restraint. I know that is what I envision.

We are left with determining what hinders us or restraining us from speaking, thinking, or acting how we want today. Freedom does not come to any person without responsibilities; we are always responsible for our actions, whether they be of Freedom or not. So let’s think about Freedom for a while and what we need to do to experience it in all areas of our lives, right now, today.

What Freedom Looks Like

All of the actions we take, the words we speak, and the thoughts we think are choices we make. We are, in fact, free to do, say, or think whatever we want. But some factors tell us we are limited in what we can do. When you think about Freedom, it will have some particular characteristics attached to it. For example, Freedom is oriented toward the future. Once a barrier is broken, the yoke of restraint is cast off. You will never be affected by that restraining thing again. This idea is constantly created through a realistic perception. Not fearful, but practical. You can quit your job right now, but it is not realistic with no plan to support yourself and your family. Many stop right there and stay in limited situations for the rest of their lives. This location is where you plan your escape and move toward Freedom. You can be responsible and accessible at the same time.

Freedom will require a person to step into the possibilities of life firmly and with resolve. See the potential in all situations and take action to make these things a reality in your life. Not someday, but today. When you look honestly inside of yourself, the things that are stopping you from finding this Freedom are usually self-perpetuating fearful thoughts about what might happen or what someone else might think. By placing new situations in your life and honestly evaluating how you feel about them. You have the choice to seek out the supportive emotions you have or the ones that do not support your Freedom. Allow for the new feelings of a situation to arise in you and honestly see how they feel. They may be a perfect fit right away, or you may have an adjustment period. Freedom allows you to start defining who you are. Are you honest? Are you kind? Are you supportive of others? or do you choose something else? These are all questions that Freedom will answer for you. As your awareness grows, you will know what fits you and what doesn’t. That is what freedom feels like.

Are You Ready for Freedom?

The short answer for most people is, heck, yes! But are you? You are ready for Freedom when you are excited by whatever is happening or will be happening in your life. You know the feeling that something beautiful, upbeat, and all-around fantastic is about to take place in your experience. You will feel more awake in your day-to-day existence and aware of all things floating in and out of your choices. If they are honest, each person has had a feeling inside of them that will guide you exactly where you need to go. You imagine what it will be like to go where you want to go, do what you want to do, and say whatever it is you want to say. The images come to you from a place of knowing and that place inside of you. The key is to let your mind be quiet so that you can hear what your heart is telling you.

You will know you are ready for Freedom when a change is the only real option for you and that moving forward is a done deal to you. No words, actions, thoughts by another could discourage you. You are ready to move forward and accept the responsibility for the Freedom you want to make a part of your life. Even though you haven’t experienced it yet, you can’t wait to share what you seek to achieve. Remember that Freedom does not include pretending. All thoughts and imagination should be focused on natural, tangible things and followed with action. Action always separates reality from those that are acting. Don’t get overwhelmed with specifics and details. All of those things will take care of themselves. Too much thought leads to doubt, indecision, and a significant lack of Freedom.

Be Responsible

All acts of Freedom are responsible and never put people at undue risk. For example, leaving the people you have commitments to do something else is not Freedom, and it is irresponsible, mean, and shows a lack of character.

Freedom is a way to achieve the ability to say, act, and think whatever you want. You don’t have to be foolish to do this. Janice Joplin once said Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose. I can’t entirely agree with that thought. When you have nothing left to forget, there is little choice involved. Why not act? True Freedom comes with options and responsibility. That is the way of life. Seek your Freedom and enjoy it when you find it, but know that everything comes with a price. Approach it in the right direction, and the price will be enjoyable to play as well.

 “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Bronte 

 “Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate, no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind.”—Virginia Woolf 

 “Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”—Mahatma Gandhi

“The only real prison is fear, and the only real freedom is freedom from fear.”—Aung San Suu Kyi

 “Freedom (n.): To ask nothing. To expect nothing. To depend on nothing.”—Ayn Rand

“We were the people who were not in the papers. We lived in the blank white spaces at the edge of print. It gave us more Freedom. We lived in the gaps between the stories.”—Margaret Atwood

“In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved.” 

 

21

Anything is Possible

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 Everything and everyone is one of the infinite possibilities. 

What is the difference between a billionaire living in a mansion and a homeless person living on the street other than choices and circumstances? All people are born with the ability to accomplish whatever they want to in life. Why do some achieve it, and some fall far short of the mark? Although we all have a potential for greatness, there has to be an effort to make the most of your talent. Some will choose a life of limit, and some decide never to be defeated. Look at everyone you see today and know they have the power to be excellent within them. It may be buried deep within, but it is always there. More importantly, look at yourself and know that you can become anything you want to be, and you have to choose to grow it.

Beliefs Are Always the Thing

Our beliefs are a part of who we are, and they develop through our lives and us as guidelines of what to expect in all types of situations. We use a blend of past experiences and influences of parents, siblings, friends, authority figures, and society in general. This combination of things and people develop a belief system in us that dictates what we believe is possible in our lives and, more importantly, what is not possible. Remembering these beliefs is that they are just thoughts or ideas that we have chosen to give our consent to agree with, and that is the power they have.

Changing a belief is not complicated, but it isn’t easy either. Subconsciously our beliefs are firmly rooted and affect us always until we make an effort to change them. First, you have to be willing to accept a change, which most people aren’t. Change can be scary, and what would that look like if you really could do anything? It is easier to stay right where you are, and at least you know what to expect. Great people don’t let these things stop them. Secondly, you have to replace limiting beliefs with more positive ones representing the life you want to experience. Some use positive statements called affirmations to replace limiting thoughts with those of growth.

Focus on the Prize

What if we are only bound in what we create in life by our thoughts and perceptions? It would make sense to start to change those thoughts that will limit the amount of joy and love we can create in our lives. Maintaining a positive focus on what we want and the ideas that will get us there is challenging to manage. But it would be best if you held it for the long haul to change what we can effectively.

A focus for a day is not enough because we will default back into those comfortable old practices and beliefs if we let our focus slide. Think about what you want to accomplish, write it down and read it daily, and it will help you maintain your focus on achieving your greatness and stop you from losing focus and losing the chance to reach your pure potential.

Never Settle

One trait of success is that they refused to settle for less than what they wanted regardless of the challenges they faced. Many people set a goal and start to take steps toward achieving it. Once they face challenges and challenging times, they settle with themselves that it wasn’t meant to be or worse that they are not worthy of creating the lofty expectations they have wanted for themselves. Never buy into the idea that being average is a positive outcome. Great people never allow this mindset to set into them.

Set high goals for yourself with the belief that you can accomplish whatever you set your intention on. Know not only that you can do whatever you want but that you deserve to have it in your life. Whether it is money, love, freedom, or joy, you deserve it because we all deserve it. You weren’t born to be average, and that is a belief you can adopt today.

Don’t Buy the Line

The pure potential exists in you, and your mindset is the way to let it start to come out. Don’t let what “everybody else” think to determine what you can accomplish. Most of them live with a limited mind and haven’t embraced their potential. Discouraging you to be your best justifies their beliefs. A mass movement of thought does not create truth, and it makes a barrier to success for others, and that is it. They will ridicule you for trying and then be amazed by your results.

Factors like location, finances, and economic factors are only excuses and can’t stand in your way if you don’t let them. Remember that your potential is as individual as fingerprints, and there is no correct path for you to follow. You are walking your way, and your prospect will determine the experience. Do not think in limits. Believe in possibilities.

Look for your potential today in all that you do. Set intentions to be the thing you feel you should be. In the end, you will be looking back at all of the limiting people and situations with gratitude for all the motivation they gave you to persevere in pursuit of your potential.

“Consult not your fears but your hopes and your dreams. Think not about your frustrations, but about your unfulfilled potential. Concern yourself not with what you tried and failed in, but with what it is still possible for you to do.”- Pope John XXIII

“Leadership is unlocking people’s potential to become better.”- Bill Bradley

“Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!”- Anne Frank

 

21

Both Sides Now

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the flip side of lifeWouldn’t it be nice if all we had to deal with in our lives was a success in all we do and happiness in all experiences? I think everyone would feel the same way, no sadness, loss, or grief, just happy things that are easy to deal with, yet we all know that life isn’t going to come as quickly as that. We all must go through some difficult times, and I think that is OK because you will never appreciate the good in life unless there is the opposite aspect to compare it to in life. There is always a flip side. How do you know that life is giving you what you need now? You are experiencing it. Please take a moment and focus your conscious thought on this very thought of how opposites teach you lessons and see what words and actions arise from it. It will probably be a better version of yourself, and you will value the joyous times and good experiences all the more when they happen.

Sunshine and Rain

No matter what your preferred weather is, there is difficulty enjoying it thoroughly without having experienced the opposite of your desired temperature. For me, it is the weather of the fall in the northeast.

sunshine without rainWe are blessed with pleasant temperatures and cooler weather at night, which is perfect for sleeping. Each day it seems that there is a different and wondrous color scheme on display. Fall has a feeling in your heart that you can’t explain, feel. Yet the appreciation I have for this season is deepened by the hot, uncomfortable summer weather and the oncoming extreme cold and snow of winter. Those intense experiences help you tune into the perfection of September/October that you are experiencing in the perfect dance of autumn.

If the weather were as you like, all of the time, you would eventually find that you lose the special appreciation you have for it. It would be more difficult at any rate to find that appreciation for the beautiful autumn days, and they would be “days.”

I think this is true about all things in life. We need to have what we don’t want to know what we do want and, more importantly, appreciate it when it is in our lives and seek it out daily if you can.

Being Alone Leads To Growth

Most people long for comfort and company, yet many have this in their lives and manage to throw it away because of a bit of moment or slight that they perceive. If you

have ever been without someone who “gets you” and is forced to live your life truly on lonely makes you appreciate relationshipsyour own, then it is difficult to appreciate it when you have that connection partner in your life.

You would be much less likely to throw that relationship away if you knew what real loneliness felt like inside. The warmth of happiness and connection should stop people from cheating and taking their partners for granted.   The opposite side of this coin would help many a relationship find its way through rough waters.

Empathy for another and understanding the feelings, dreams, and ideas that make someone else tick is, to me, one of the most critical features of any relationship. It allows you to understand and be understood, give accordingly, and receive. When empathy is gone, and people start worrying about their own needs without concern for the needs of the other, trouble is not far away.

Sometimes you need to be alone to allow yourself to grow into the person you are meant to become. Much like a seed needs to be in the ground alone, you may need the same situation to allow yourself to grow in understanding and ideas. Life is a tricky game, and none of us have all the answers at the outset. That is why it is so damn impressive. You do not have to be lonely to appreciate the company of others, but it certainly does make it a lot easier to remember and keeps your empathy at the surface.

Loss Makes You Appreciate What You Have

If you have never lost everything, you do not appreciate everything you have quite as much. Everything is a subjective word that can apply to anyone and their situation. You may lose your family, friends, possessions, or guiding principles and strand you in life with no clear guidance or a place to call home.

Whatever it is that you lose, a friend, a family member, a relationship, it is through this loss, you will learn to appreciate what you do have. When you evaluate the things you have lost in your life, remember to include equal time thinking about the good that you have in your life and the appreciation you have for it — practice gratitude to some degree every day.

Sometimes the wounds of the loss are too big, and we can never move past them. Sometimes the pain of loss or the idea of the damage has engulfed us and our identity to the point that we can’t see around it. My experience tells me that once I have let something go, there is an appreciation for the people and things that are in my life that I would never have known.

You don’t have to lose everything to find this appreciation, and you have to look at what you have in your life and be grateful for it.

Seeing the Dark Side

To be human is to possess the ability to be very, very good, but each person also comes equipped with a dark side. Much like Darth Vader in Star Wars, we all have to choose which side of life our thoughts, choices, and actions will take us. There is power in being positive, helpful, honest, kind, and a decent human being society would fall without this attitude is prevalent. But there is a dark side in all of us.

One of the things that make good people so beautiful is that we make a choice each day to be that way. Sometimes, it can be a natural choice to follow the voices of fear and separate, ridicule, lie, gossip, or be selfish. Each of our actions balances out in our vibrational energy and just what you are putting into the world mentally, and with your efforts, you will get back to you. If you are not happy with where you are, look at your mental game and see how it is playing out. Take affirmative action, and positive will happen. Follow the light side of the force.

Look at the Flip Side of Everything

So my final urging is to look at the flip side of everything that you experience each and

Superman is not as great without a villain to compare him to.
Superman is not as great without a Lex Luther to battle against.

every day. Noticing that there is something positive for you to appreciate in every situation. Enjoy moments of downtime as well as deserved respites from the whir of activity that often rules your life.

Appreciate the moments of being by yourself as opportunities to grow. Nobody knows who you will end up with, but remember that making yourself the best person you can, will bring the person into your life who will make you better. With the heart-wrenching bitterness that death and loss of a loved one get to your life, there is an appreciation for those you live with still that can envelop your heart and touch your soul if you look for them.

That is why we should always look for and appreciate the flip side of the coin because we would never understand the value of moments in our lives without it. Light without darkness, happiness without sadness, love without fear, the experiences that we live define us by our ability to appreciate our journeys. 

“Belief systems thrive in circumstances of the collision. Their opposites energize them.”– James P. Carse

“All colors are the friends of their neighbors and the lovers of their opposites.” – Marc Chagall

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOPwviOUenA

 

 

21

Good To Everyone

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We make decisions every day, and could anything be more simple than choosing to be kind to everyone we meet? On the surface, it would seem to treat others in a positive, thoughtful way that should be easy, and it is, but when you let thoughts and emotions focus on fear, that is where the problems start.

Focus your thoughts and actions on the love of any situation, and kindness will flow to everyone.  Others can feel desperate and approach you with fear and anger. Let them have their poison, and you don’t have to reciprocate or participate. Be kind to everyone. It is the most significant contribution to the world most of us can and will give.

Strength of Kindness

When people often seek their power, they look to the negative to find it.  Anger is one place many go to relay their displeasure with someone or a situation, and it becomes a knee-jerk reaction to all fearful situations. Anger is the face of fear, and it is a natural response to circumstances we are concerned our needs are not being met.  Focus on the issue that makes you fear your needs are being neglected rather than the people around you.  When people can’t express this fear appropriately, anger escalates to violence, and nothing good comes from violence.

Face your fears with kindness, look at a situation, and see where you can apply it.  Words are often difficult to find, but service is always an excellent salve for anger because it proves needs will be met, you matter, and the world cares. To be kind even when others mistreat you, insult you, or hurt you is difficult, but that is its strength. It takes effort and always has a reward, even if you don’t see it right away. You are either going to escalate and maintain a cycle of anger or start a new period of kindness.

You Never Know

If you flew in a plane and dropped a million seeds out over the landscape, there would be no way to know what plants resulted from your affirmative action. You can spread kindness precisely like that, and there is no right way to monitor the results. Faith that your efforts are all you will be able to go on. That being good to people is better than the alternative. It will bring up plants of positivity somewhere that wouldn’t have existed if not for your efforts.

There is also no way of knowing who needs your kindness today.  A person with a gloomy, cloudy disposition often can’t change without some hope to change their outlook. Understanding and just being kind to someone with no expectation of return can be the exact thing that turns someone’s entire vision around. Treating people positively, helpful, and adequately always matters and always brings positive results.  You will never know where your kindness goes and what it grows into and see that it matters.

Being Good, Feels Good

Being kind does not allow people to walk all over you because they are mean, and it is a different kind of response. First, someone else’s attitude and words can’t affect you negatively unless you let them.  Your reaction is different and more positive, and more importantly, it is the right thing to do.  How others act reflects who they are, and how you react is a reflection of who you are. All of your words and actions have the potential to affect others for the entirety of their lives.  What kind of influence do you want to be?

When you choose kindness, understanding, caring, and supportive thoughts, they turn into words, actions, and a philosophy that influences your existence. It is not easy to do this all the time, but if you get it started, it becomes a habit, and it always feels good.  Not only for all the people you come in contact with but also for yourself.

Do Your Best

So do your best to make the world a better place by being kind to others whenever the opportunity arises. It is one of the things you can always control. Even when dealing with negative people who may not have any scope of the world outside of themselves, that is the most critical time to be kind. You may have the most significant influence on others in those moments. You are being mean never solved any problem or made any situation better.  Without considerable effort by someone else, the contrary only leads to negative.  Be a positive force in your world, and be kind to those you see daily.

“Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.”
-Franklin D. Roosevelt

“Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear, and the blind can see.” -Mark Twain

 “You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

 “Guard well within yourself that treasure, kindness. Know how to give without hesitation, how to lose without regret, how to acquire without meanness.” -George Sand

“A warm smile is the universal language of kindness.” -William Arthur Ward

 “Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate.” -Albert Schweitzer