All posts by Jonathan Hilton

21

Love It or Fear It

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To fear or to love?

You May Disagree
You May Disagree

All situations in life can break down into simple choices. Will you think and act out of fear? Or will you believe and work out of love?

I believe EVERYTHING you think will make a difference in your life and come with emotions attached, which affect your decision-making. I believe this because of a lifetime of experience and entertaining the wrong types of thoughts. I lived much of my life under the influence of fear but have chosen to make a change and look at things with feelings of love. No small endeavor, but I encourage all others to attempt to do the same.

How You Think Leads to How You Live

This article is about the fundamental belief that I have developed in my game of life. If you are thinking judgmental, mean, sarcastic, or hateful thoughts about other people or groups of people, there is no doubt that you will experience those things in your own experience.

These are negative thoughts which lead to unhappy experiences
These are negative thoughts that lead to unhappy experiences

If you choose to focus on accepting, kind, and loving thoughts, then that will be the overall experience of your existence. How do I know? I used to think the former and now try to focus on the latter, and although I am the same person, the experience of life has been entirely different and much more positive and enjoyable in all ways.

Fear is the chief motivation of those who are critical. A person rejects any thought or action that will lead to change or be different from comfortable beliefs. Even if things are currently going poorly, people avoid change because they fear that changes might make things even worse.

There is nothing wrong with experiencing fear itself because fear gives you adrenaline and or motivation to act. Still, if you focus on and allow it to move your actions from day-to-day, your experience will suffer from negative energy. We all face fear every day, but it is how you deal with it that matters. Each moment comes down to this simple choice between fear and love, the one you choose will define your life and you as a person.

Change is Always Possible

change-thoughtsThe most daunting task for anyone to accomplish is to change the way that you think. We have spent a lifetime accumulating experiences that come along with mental programming, which has managed to keep us safe and alive. But it also can make us unhappy and not allow us to reach our capabilities.

Yet, at some point, even though we are safe and alive, the quality of our life needs value. Once you start to pursue happiness and caring, you notice what has been making you unhappy. What is it that makes you hang your head with worry? What makes you afraid to speak? What makes you hide your individuality? What makes you disappear who you are? Fear.

Fear that you won’t be accepted, or fear that someone will take something from you that you love. Fear that someone is going to harm you or those that you care about can hurt you. The mainstream media feed these fears to gain ratings and Madison Avenue to earn consumer dollars.

The reality is that fear is just a thought and an illusionary thought at that. What you are afraid of is not accurate, it is a thought, and that is it. What if? What should? What Might? Questions that provide these thoughts; are not real they don’t exist, yet they offer genuine suffering for people. Your thoughts about things are the cause of most of our issues. Change your thoughts, and many of our problems go away.

There are many dangers in the world, and those should be avoided because they can hurt you, but fear of them will only stop you from doing what you want and becoming the best you can be. Fear limits you and destroys dreams.

Getting Out of Fear

Beliefs are merely thoughts that you choose every day to add weight to.
Beliefs are merely thoughts that you choose every day to add weight to.

Getting rid of fear in your thoughts is simple, but it is not easy.

Stop thinking fearful things. Now that would be easy to control all of our thoughts, but you really can’t.

Thoughts pop into your mind at a rapid pace, representing your lifetime of experience. Bias, prejudice, hatred, fear are all a part of your knowledge, and they are all associated with others.

You can’t stop them from popping into your mind, but you can control how much you pay attention to them. Simply noticing the thoughts of fear as what they are fake surprisingly releases you from their power. All of their power over you comes from inside your head and the thoughts you choose to give power to. Let the negative go and replace them with something more positive. The human mind is only capable of entertaining one idea at a time. If your thought is positive, so will your mood, actions, and life.

Replace thoughts of fear with thoughts of love

enigmaOnce you recognize and admit your worries and let them go, it is incredible how easy the right ideas and feelings flow. It feels better to be happy, healthier to love, and more enjoyable to live without fear.

It takes time, and you have to be honest with yourself. Recognizing your weaknesses can be painful and challenging, but you have a simple choice here. Choose caring over callousness, kindness over being mean, understanding over judgment. Keep living your life in fear and be unhappy or admit to your negative thoughts and recognize that you can just let them go and think differently.

The choice is up to you! Nobody else can make it for you.

“Fear and love can never be experienced at the same time. It is always our choice as to which of these emotions we want.”-  Gerald Jampolsky

“Love and fear represent two different lenses through which to view the world. Which I choose to use will determine what I think I see.”-Marianne Williamson

“Love is what we were born with. Fear is what we learned here.”-  Marianne Williamson

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”-  John Lennon

21

How You Treat Others Defines You

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I am as hard on myself as I am on anyone I know when it comes to this statement.  How you treat others defines you. I know because this is an area I have fallen short of many times in my life. I know I haven’t always been the best person when it comes to my treatment of other people.  I have a long list of situations where I have not treated others as well as they deserve or been the kind of person I would have liked to be.  That is why it is always so hard to see people you care about fall into the same selfish traps in the way they treat others in their life.  It takes so little to be decent in the world, and I guess sometimes that price is just too much for some to pay.  I try to adopt the hope in each new day that I will be able, at this moment, at least, to treat others with kindness, caring, empathy, understanding, and consideration. That is my hope.

Only In Control Of Me

The only thing in the world we are indeed in charge of entirely is how we control ourselves. Life can and will throw all kinds of situations at you, and it is up to you how you respond. Do you quit? Become disillusioned?  Respond with anger toward those who care about you? Blame everything and everyone else? Accept responsibility for ourselves and our situations?  The only honorable way to go is to accept responsibility for where you are right now.  Because you are the person who decides what thoughts are essential to you, and those thoughts will create the world around you.

You are the only one who can control the tenor of the thoughts you focus on. Where focus goes, energy flows. If you spend your time thinking only of yourself, you will be stuck in a cycle of selfishness with no real opportunity for growth because growth comes from the things you do for and share with others. The positive or negative actions we take in our lives each day will determine how our lives grow.  This idea is particularly true in our spirituality.  It is our responsibility to look for ways to improve as people in our life.  Regardless of the circumstances we face, we choose the impact our lives have on the people around us and us. Positive or negative, this is our choice, every second of every day.  You are the only one who can control you.

Noone Left to Blame

Today, our lives are the sole responsibility because we are the creators of the thoughts behind them. You can try to blame circumstances, other people, or just bad or good luck, but whatever experiences you have resulted from your choices and actions you have taken. If you have mistreated people, you can’t be surprised when you are treated poorly by someone else.   Too often, I have blamed others for the outcomes in my life that didn’t live up to my expectations.

I would have better spent my time accepting my thoughts, words, and actions and realizing that I needed to change my ways to bring different outcomes into my life. If I was going to be selfish and self-centered and only worried about how things would affect me, then I can’t be surprised when opportunities in life that rely on others pass me by.  Our lives are a direct reflection of what we think and what we do. There is no more significant measure of what we are as people than the shape of our lives right now.

Your Qualities Define You

Finally, when looking at your definition. What are the words you would like to have associated with yourself? Honestly, look at the way you treat others, and you will find the meaning of yourself. I know many people who would shy away from some of their adjectives, although they belong to the things they say and do. You can’t be mean to someone in one breath and then claim kindness in a general sense. Service is an attribute that accompanies you all the time, or it doesn’t at all. Mean and insensitive behavior can’t be erased by wishful thinking.

But it can be undone by a change in thought and recognizing our responsibility for our actions. Each day we have a chance to represent ourselves with behaviors we stand behind and envision as beacons of our best selves.  Falling for a time doesn’t define your life; it only establishes that part of your life. No story is over until the last page turns, and the best stories are always about redemption and comebacks.  You have to ask yourself, can I change? From negative to positive? Lousy behavior to good behavior? Unhealthy to healthy? Or whatever challenge you are facing because the only person who can choose what defines you is you.

“Our past may shape us, but it doesn’t define us.” ― Alyson Noel

“We cannot let the haters of this world define us. Or frighten us into no longer being ourselves.” ― Mary E. DeMuth

“Strong people define themselves; weak people allow others to define them.” ― Ken Poirot

“Define yourself—not by how much you are loved, but by how much you love others.” ― Connor Chalfant

“Never defend yourself, but define yourself with your imagination and actions.”― Debasish Mridha M.D.

 

 

21

Your True Measure

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Your actions define you to the world

It is natural for an individual to look at the world from the inside out. The only perspective we have had our whole life is from our own mind’s eye. Often we develop a significant concern for how others treat us in the world. The fear seeps into every interaction we have and pulls us into a more selfish existence, worrying about how people manage us? What is in this for me? What about me? Worrying about how others treat you is a narrow perspective and will limit what you can give to the world. It is far better to build a concern with how you are treating others in your life and the world around you. Being a positive force in the world involves doing positive things for people and encouraging others to be the best versions of themselves possible. It all begins with a conscious awareness of the thoughts you entertain each day—the words these thoughts lead you to utter to the world. And, of course, the actions you take display what your base thoughts are to the world. You will define yourself in thought, word, and work.

Building Your Definition

The job of our mind is to interpret the world we live in. Let’s face it; our brain tells all stories from our perspective. If there is a conflict, of course, the other party is unreasonable and demanding. We are always in the right to us. But are we? How you choose to treat others is a clear picture of who you are, and there is no hiding from it. If you spend your time judging others, then you are judgmental. If you gossip and spread rumors about others, those whispers behind people’s backs show who you are.

Conversely, your choices to be kind, accepting, and caring about the lives of others also define you. Your focus is the key to identifying you in the world. Not what you think you are, but what you are to the world. It is easy to dehumanize someone when you think of them in abstract terms, like demographics, heritage, or ethnicity. All stereotypes dehumanize people and, by your thought, degrade you. How you choose to treat the people who bother you most tells the most about you. We all make a choice each day to do these things.

Being Empathetic to Others

Our ability to practice empathy is one of the tools we have to maintain our humanity in life. Using our minds to project ourselves into another person’s situation allows us to walk around in their shoes. Once you indeed do this, you are much less likely to be harsh in your treatment of them. Understanding how someone else lives and why they do what they do doesn’t excuse poor behavior, but it can allow you to follow somebody. If you were placed in a different set of circumstances, then you might be making the same choices. Bad as they might be.

One action you can take is to be aware of other people and how your work will affect them. At least in a way that shows an awareness of the needs of another person. All people are living a story, and each one is different. You would be a modified version of yourself if you experienced an unusual childhood, growth experience, and moral influences. That is what other people are, a modified version of you. Treat them as such. Understanding, kindness, and acceptance are universally helpful, and treating people this way brings more of these things into your life.

Three Skills to Develop for Treating People well

First, learn to be an active and present listener. When someone is speaking to you, be present. Don’t let your mind wander into what you are doing tomorrow or think about the past. Focus and be there for whoever is speaking. Listening shows caring, respect and allows a person to know that they have an outlet for their thoughts. Be curious, ask questions, and let another speak.

Secondly, when you do speak, be honest in all you say. That is a simple thing but shows people that they can trust you. All of our words should have the stamp of truth on them and allow for confidence with all of those who are listening. Speak honestly and expect the same in return.

Thirdly, in all of our actions, we focus on operating with integrity. Integrity is doing the right things, even if you are the only one who knows it. Treating others with integrity makes all interactions honest and opportunities for growth. You will also be setting an example for all others to follow in their way.

Be Kind

Finally, If there is one thing to focus on in all kinds of relationships, practice kindness in your interactions with everyone. Your heart belongs to you, regardless of how someone else acts; being kind is your choice. Suppose someone else needs compassion to give it. If you don’t think they need it, give it anyways. Consideration is a gift you give to the world that it needs. How you treat others defines you and will determine your impact on the planet.

It will all begin with the primary thoughts you have in your head. The ones you choose to entertain will get the focus in your life. If you are worried about yourself, it will show in all that you do. If you are thinking about others, and their well-being, then that will show too. Also, the words you speak to others and about others will define you. Speak as if your words had magic in them because they do. Finally, your actions will be a clear picture of the world of the way you think and how you feel about things that are happening all around in everyday life. Focus on defining your contribution to the world as a positive one. Your Actions define you.

“Stop worrying yourself with how others are treating you. Just be concerned with how you are treating others.”

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.”- Wayne Dyer

“Never lose sight of the fact that the most important yardstick of your success will be how you treat other people – your family, friends, and coworkers, and even strangers you meet along the way.”- Barbara Bush

 

21

Trustworthy

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Trust- firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

Walking in the middle of something gives a perspective that makes it challenging to see the possibilities that lie on the edges beyond your current scope of vision. You focus on the things you see, and it can be frustrating because we want certain things to happen, and we want them in the manner we imagine they should come. It is frustrating and a little scary when things don’t happen exactly how we pictured them. Life runs on a script that we can influence but can’t write. It takes having a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something, or trust in life and yourself. Let go and trust the Universe.

The True Meaning of Trust

You are a great human soul with unlimited potential. From the moment we are born, influences and circumstances are conspiring to tell us that we are less than we are. We forget what we can do when we set our minds to it. It is easy to let doubt and a lack of confidence affect you and make you accept lesser circumstances as OK or, worse yet, to think less of yourself.

As people, we can think and use our imaginations. In that creative thought, there is a power to bring the unseen into reality. It happens all the time in all areas of life. Each work of art, new business idea, or invention began in someone’s imagination and was brought into reality. It has been that way since the beginning of man. Sometimes when things aren’t going the way, we want to start to be more creative and trust ourselves to bring into reality the things that will make us happy. To have faith in life will bring your thoughts into reality.

Trusting Other People

When it comes to trusting others, that can be not easy. So many people seem to be out to build their plans and selfishly take care of their things. Trust comes on a collection of results from actions taken. The people you can trust will reveal themselves over time, as will the people you can’t trust. Be kind and understanding with others because they are just trying to travel their path as best they can.

Trust arrives with honesty and truth, so be honest and truthful, and those who are not will reveal themselves. Always value being honest with others and telling the truth in all situations, and you will be trusted and find people you can trust along the path of life. Then when you see them, don’t let go of them. This course can be a challenge, but it is worth it because honesty is something we all need, and to find someone you truly trust is like finding a hidden treasure.

How to Let Go and Trust

There are higher forces in the world than us. Life has been happening for thousands of years before we arrived and will continue long after we have gone. It is essential to understand that life is not meant to be easy but to bring us the experiences that will make us better people and find our purpose. What we want and what life wants to teach us can be the same. Often, the hardest thing to do is decide what we want and think about it and let life handle the details.

Trusting that we don’t know the best method to get where we want to go and accept the journey might not look exactly as we imagined it would. But that may be the most effective way to contact us where we want to go and do what we love to do. Sometimes it seems we are just a passenger on this ride of life, and in truth, that is what we are a lot of time. We can steer the car, but life seems to choose the roads. Don’t be frustrated with the experience. Trust that life is taking you exactly where you need to go and enjoy the ride. The journey is the real prize anyway.

Take a moment this day to look at your life and see how many miraculous things are in your life right now. Count them and state them clearly. You are healthy. You have plenty of possibilities; you are breathing. Some people love you and people you love. Use your imagination to create and trust that the forces around you will bring great things into your life. Be grateful and have a joy in your heart that today all is good, and the possibilities of tomorrow are infinite. The biggest problem with knowing what you want is knowing you know the best way to bring it all about. Life knows more than you will ever learn. Trust the process and be the best you can be today. Trust, you will get the great things that are coming.

Let go and trust the Universe.

Trusting in life Quotes

“Sometimes, when you lose your way, you find YOURSELF.” ― Mandy Hale

“Trust what feels true even if that truth requires you to ignore what you know.” – Gina Greenlee

“Trust starts with truth and ends with truth.”

“Trust is the glue of life. It’s the most essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”-Stephen R. Covey

 

 

21

The Way You Think

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Attitude- a settled way of thinking or feeling about someone or something, typically reflected in a person’s behavior.

How do you settle in the way you think about things? Our attitudes are the perspectives through which we view life. Our opinion about anything will define the emotions we feel about that thing. It will also determine the joy, success, anger, or failure we will experience. Everything around you and what you are doing in life will be affected. Your emotions are a result of your beliefs and how you define things in your life.  Our actions are going to be determined by our emotional state.  For example, if you set your job as something you hate or something to get through, the way you perform the job will reflect that. Your attitude determines everything. The same is true if you love what you do.  That joy will reflect in your duties around work.

Your actions will reflect this to the world in the way you act throughout your day. Each person should examine their attitudes today, the ones we have about all the things you can experience, and see how they affect your behavior and actions in all things. It begins with the thoughts you entertain about something, the emotions naturally attached to those thoughts, the words used to express your ideas to the world, and the actions you take that show your attitude.

Good Attitude Equals Success

When you set out to achieve anything, your attitude should be one of the first investments you make.  A positive attitude will allow you the motivation and persistence to overcome obstacles or to see around them to achieve the things in your dreams. A negative belief about doing something, yourself, or your abilities will make your goal challenging to accomplish. Assess your thoughts at the start of any project and make sure it is on the positive side. Then follow it through to the successful conclusion.

What makes a positive attitude? The belief is that whatever we are endeavoring to accomplish is worthwhile and will lead us to a better life.  If we believe it will bring more joy and satisfaction in our lives. Having confidence in what you are doing and a strong desire to experience that thing will allow you to create and maintain a positive attitude. With this attitude will come success and accomplishment. If you are not feeling optimistic about something you are doing, look at your approach and either make adjustments to the positive or abandon the project. There is no point in pursuing something, making you unhappy, angry, or sad. Just as the right attitude will bring success, the results of a poor posture are just as sure.

Where Attitudes Come From

An attitude is a part of us, but it develops over time.  Each experience we have shaped it, and our view of the world and ourselves is no accident.  Our practical knowledge builds our beliefs, and those beliefs reside in our subconscious mind, dictating behavior. These beliefs will influence, design, and control all of our attitudes about everything we do. If we believe we are “always bad at math,” our attitude toward doing the math will improve, and the results of any math-oriented things will be terrible because of it. So we become a self-fulfilling prophecy, and our attitude will lead the way in our failure. Changing that course is not easy, but it isn’t complicated either.

The first thing that has to happen is that you need to identify the places your beliefs are lacking. What do you believe about making money? Look at your attitudes. What do you think about your ability to succeed and accomplish things? What do you think about your talents, skills, intelligence, creativity, or other critical factors? Identify the beliefs that limit you and then endeavor to change them. Changing an idea requires a little reprogramming, but consistent effort can get it done. If you can change your mindset, you can change your attitude and, therefore, accomplish anything.

Good Attitudes

Building the right attitude involves an awareness of where you are at in life. More often than not, no activity or accomplishment in life will go smoothly without a hitch. A positive attitude will provide a person with the perspective in achievement to see the opportunities on the horizon and keep moving toward them despite the little potholes of life we have to get through. When your attitude is on the positivity of the accomplishment, nothing will deter you. Not the negative programming of your past or the negative moods of those around you today.

A positive attitude will allow you to keep your eye on the prize and get you moving toward that kind of accomplishment. Liking the goal and having faith in your ability to accomplish it is enough to pull you over, around, or through anything that might get in your way. A positive attitude will allow this to be the life case. Remember a time you accomplished something others thought you couldn’t. Attitude carried you or, conversely, stopped you.  How has your mood written your story?  How does it continue to write it?

Positive Attitude Builders

Look at the people you choose to surround yourself with in life. Either they are positive or negative factors in your achievement. The influence of a positive person will fuel you.  It will provide a good push toward success.  Like fuel in a car, the positive cohort makes everything run well. And often, encouragement is all you need to keep you moving forward and stop you from losing focus or heart in achieving your goals and becoming what you want to be.

The detrimental effect of negative people will be harmful to your attitude and limit what you can do. How many goals and dreams have died a horrible and premature death because of negative thoughts? It can be challenging to believe in an idea if the people around you tell you it can’t possibly happen. Limit or remove these influences from your life because you will never be your best, carrying the negative baggage negative people try to pile on you.  It is hard enough to find your path in the best situation. Don’t let the influence of negative people make it harder.

Your attitude needs to be a creation of you and not someone else. Learn to believe in yourself, and all you can do and all you dream of is reachable.

Honest Evaluation

Honestly, look at your attitudes about the things in your life. Look at what you believe about yourself and the way the world works. Your attitudes are a direct reflection of these beliefs. If they do not positively serve you, you need to change your beliefs and develop new ones that will allow you to live your best life. It all starts with looking at your thoughts today and recognizing those you are giving your attention to. Acknowledge the emotions that stem from these thoughts and the words you use to express them to the world. Finally, the actions you are taking because of your attitudes about life. They will define you and what you can accomplish in life.

“A ship is always safe at shore, but that’s not what it’s built for.” —Albert Einstein

“Some people want it to happen. Some wish it would happen. Others make it happen.” —Michael Jordan

“The question isn’t who is going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.” —Ayn Rand

“Scar tissue is stronger than regular tissue. Realize the strength, move on.” —Henry Rollins

“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” —Steve Jobs

 

21

Karma,Karma

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Karma– the sum of a person’s actions in this existence, is viewed as deciding their future fate.

Karma
“Life is a boomerang. What you give, you get.” ~ Dale Carnegie

We are all in control of the energy we give to the world each day. It begins with the thoughts we decide to pay attention to in our minds. These become the words that we speak and the actions we perform. These things determine what we give to and get back from life. Like a boomerang the energy, you decide to send out will come back to you, always, inevitably, and usually with interest. That’s Karma. You control the power in your life by the thoughts you entertain, which lead to emotions, words, and actions. These things determine your karma. Are you conscious of them in your life today?

Give, and You will Receive

One of the fundamental paradoxes of life is that when you give, you receive in return. This fact can be a problem when you look at what you have and think that you need so many things for yourself. You don’t see a way that you can give, but it is there. Giving is the path to receiving and

karma
You are open to receiving

giving with an open heart when you provide, and giving spirit is critical. Try to develop the attitude of giving without worrying about what the return is. The performance will be high.

It is a positive energy to give and goes against the worry of lack that plagues most people. Fear that we will not have our needs met and will have to go without something. But what exactly are we going to go without? An extra coffee each day? It doesn’t even take a lot to get this energy working for you, give a little with no expectation of return and see what you get. Be conscious of your experience and what results from your choices. It will surprise you. Karma always will. Good or bad.

Kindness Also Comes Back

The same is valid for compassion. When you practice acts of kindness for others, then you will experience elephant kindnessgoodness in return. The act of practicing kindness will make you more aware of the good things around you. Service costs nothing and maybe the most valuable something you can produce. Giving it away is good karma.

The alternative is to act with selfishness, and to be self-centered is to attract negative things into your life. Again, when you contact people who are sending attitudes of lack, look at your thoughts and actions first before you condemn them. You may find the problem exists in your thoughts and consequent actions. It may just be your kindness that can help turn the lives of others around.

What You Give You Get

So this rule is valid for everything, and with everything, there is a choice for you to make. If you choose to

Try giving some of these
Try giving some of these

steal, you will be the victim of theft. So in effect, you are stealing from yourself, which makes no sense. If you lie, others will lie to you. If you take people for granted, then you will be, in turn, taken for granted. Whichever choices you make will be revisited in your life and usually with a more significant payback.

We are all energy at the core, and our actions determine the charge of power we produce, and the results come back into our life. Our energy controls what we attract. The truth of what you think and do is the living example your life will be. Look at your choices, look at the results, and see the relationship between your options and the experiences you are having. Look at your experiences and see that the thoughts you believe nobody else can know are being revisited on you.

You can experiment by practicing something specific in your life and then be aware of the results. I encourage you to start with a positive thought rather than a negative, but we all make our own choices and determine the overall tenor of our lives through them.

You consciously choose the energy you will experience in your life by the thoughts you entertain. Where focus goes, energy flows. The corresponding emotions those thoughts elicit, the words they bring from your mouth, and the actions you take because of them. You are driving your “karma train” today. What type of trip is it going to be?

“Life is a boomerang. What you give, you get.” ~ Dale Carnegie

“How people treat you is their karma; how you react is yours.” – Wayne Dyer

“The law is simple. Every experience is repeated or suffered until you experience it properly.” – Ben Okri

Karma: It’s Not About What We Do

Karma

The Theory of Karma

5 Ways Karma Affects Your Life

 

 

21

Defining Fear

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In all lives, there are two forces always fighting for control, fear and love. What is fear really but the thoughts about things that will cause us to suffer? We all deal with these thoughts to some degree. Some people who are consciously aware of the moment are not affected very much because they avoid the two traps of fear. At the same time, those who do not contemplate their thoughts and see the moment are ruled by fear and all of its cynical cousins, judgment, anger, selfishness, and a lack of empathy. Look at yourself today and see where fear is sitting in your consciousness. Is it front and center, or have you conquered it and placed it safely in a cage in the back of your mind. Remember, we all feel fear at some point; the key to life is how we deal with it.

Fearful History

There are two ways that fear enters into your thoughts and pervades your feelings and actions. One is when we think of bad things that have happened in the past—remembering painful experiences from earlier days in our life experience. When you feel fear and have a conscious awareness of it, many try to push it away, bury it deep in ourselves and not deal with it. For a while, that can work, but eventually, it will pop out when you least expect it, outside of your control. The original episode of fear could have happened when you were five years old, or 30 years old, when the concern arises rather than pushing it down, invite it to stay.

Look at your fear and face it back to its origin. Something occurred, which caused you to suffer. It could have been a lack of care, a break in trust, a physical or psychological pain that you have pushed down and never dealt with before. Let the fear enter your mind, get to know it, and face it head-on. Investigate them. Where did they come from to visit you? Accept them and forgive those who might have caused the suffering, including yourself. The past is over and dead, and nothing can change what has happened. Letting it control your experience right now is a waste of time and effort. Face the fears of the past, allow them to exist, and leave you alone.

Future Fear

Fears’ other big weapon is the future. Unlike the past, the end has not happened yet and is wide open to possibilities. Fear and worry rob you of your freedom as you live your life hiding from problems created inside the fertile walls of your imagination. Your imagination is a powerful tool, it can guide you to great things, or it can paralyze you and rob you of your potential. Worry and fear of the future is a misuse of your most powerful tool of imagination. Creating scenarios that will lead to suffering but never really existed. These worries will stop people from following their dreams and doing what they want because fear says they might look foolish, or not someone else might think poorly of them.

Fighting your imagination is a tricky thing, but it works similarly to facing your past. Embrace the fears and follow them to their source. Fear of abandonment, loss, being alone, or the biggest one of all, dying. All people fear something. Learning to deal with it actively, embrace it, and face your fear will take you to its source. Conscious awareness of your concerns and their origins will free you to use your valuable imagination for good in your life. In your imagination, great things reside, which once thought we could bring into reality. They are creating the best future for yourself and the world you can. Only when we conquer our fear and move forward.

Society of Fear

We are inundated with messages of fear continually in our community. If you watch the “news” from a significant network, their job is to create fear in your mind. It is not to keep you informed because they choose what you hear and how the message is presented. People who are afraid are easy to control and manipulate. Don’t allow others to control you with fear. Live in the moment. Are you in danger at this moment? If not, then don’t let fear move you to stereotype or label anyone else as an immigrant, Russian, Korean, or anything else. People are people just like you with worries and desires all on their own. To see anything else is a manipulation of the facts.

We are inundated with images of the perfect physical body, or the perfect home, perfect marriage, perfect relationship, perfect this or perfect that. Perfection is impossible, and feeling fear about not measuring up is delusional. Looking inside yourself and being the person you were meant to be is most important. Put the fear of what others think of you or how you measure up to the fake standard of our society. Be the best you that you can that is good enough for everyone.

Finally

To lessen the impact fear has on your life, invite it to the surface of your life. Look at it and analyze it rather than push it way down inside of yourself. Shine the light of reason on it, and it will cease to be fearful to you. We all have fear in many areas of life because we want to avoid pain. Pain is going to come when it comes; often, its anticipation is worse than the actual situation itself. Face your fear with courage and thought, seeing its origins, and you will rise above it.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”― Plato.

“Keep your fears to yourself, but share your courage with others.” ― Robert Louis Stevenson.

“Nothing in life is to be feared; it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more so that we may fear less.”
― Marie Curie

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.”― Franklin D. Roosevelt.

21

Grateful

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Thank You For Being You!!

grateful Moving through your life, from task to task, work time to free time, one of the most important thoughts to keep in your consciousness is to be grateful for all of the things in life you experience every day. Some people and experiences bring joy, and some get lessons. All need to be appreciated for what they are because……….

Being grateful is an attitude that increases your positive energy, makes you more efficient and is in the doorway of abundance. In every situation, there is a choice of opinion. One can decide to be angry, disillusioned, bitter, or worried. Or a mind can be appreciative, grateful, accepting, and joyous. In each moment, the choice of gratitude exists, and I encourage you to be thankful in your thoughts, words, and actions today. Show that appreciation wherever you can by choosing the simple words, “Thank you!”

Don’t Take Things for Granted.

When life is going well in any area, relationships, financially, or achieving personal goals, take a moment and be grateful. Recognizing the presence of positive and enjoyable things in your life will open the doorway gratefulfor other “good” things to come into your life. Those who take things for granted tend to experience little to no joy, no matter what they have. Does it matter if you have everything if you don’t have the mental acuity to appreciate these gifts? Look to be grateful for the smallest of things, and joy will arise in you.

You never know when the good things in your life will pass away and disappear like smoke from a smooth summer’s fire. Each moment you have which are joyful and shared with someone you love should be appreciated, and a feeling of gratitude should accompany it. We are not guaranteed anything in this life, only a beginning, a middle, and an end. It is up to you to either appreciate your life and those in it. Or you can choose to take it for granted and be angry. This decision is one we make every day. Where are your choices leading you?

Say Thank You Often

In the course of your activity in a day, seek out situations to use the phrase “thank you.” Be mindful of why you use the term, and you will see more conditions the words can describe in your life. Each time you are grateful, from your heart, for something someone else has done, you increase the positivity of the world in just a fraction. Thank you have the power to show, share, and transfer the feelings of being grateful to other people.

It is also essential to be able to accept gratitude from others. If they take the time to acknowledge your acts of kindness with the words, thank you, make sure to keep the positive flowing by responding with a heartfelt word. The best one I know, I was taught by my great-grandmother. When I would thank her for one of the millions of kindnesses she showed me, her response was always cheerful and heartfelt “You are very welcome.” It still transferred the joy she felt in giving and made me feel loved and appreciated. Spreading that feeling can’t be a bad thing. Be conscious of the opportunities to thank you today and show how grateful you are for all things, big and small.

Appreciation Game

One of the most reliable ways to turn your attitude around is to focus on the appreciation game. This gratitude is the mental process of shifting your conscious focus away from negative thoughts of regret or anxiety and being grateful for the positive things in your life. Look gratefulat how fortunate you are. All people can find something to be thankful for having. Some can never find anything. The choice is always up to you and your mind.

Look at your life today and list, either mentally or on a piece of paper, things you are grateful for in your experience. Good weather, people who help you, people who care about you, coffee, reliable transportation, a job you enjoy, the ability to learn, an act of kindness, something in nature you witnessed, or anything you can think of experiencing. Just a moment of being grateful for each thing, and your mood will flip because it is tough to be negative and thankful at the same time.

Be grateful today, say thank you often, and count the good things in your life. It will be impossible to be in a bad mood. You will be a light of positivity. All this comes by becoming more conscious of your thoughts, words, and actions of being grateful in life. I thank those who have lied to me because I learned how much I value truth. Thank you to those who have hurt me because, through suffering, we find our most authentic selves and understand what is important to us. I thank those who count themselves as my enemies; you have taught me to understand the opinions of others never define my value.

“Develop an attitude of gratitude and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation.” ~Brian Tracy

“Reflect upon your present blessings, of which every man has plenty; not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.” —Charles Dickens.

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21

Choices

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The-Choice-Is-Yours_Theme_Pastor-Steve-McCartt-Family-Worship-Center-Florence_Web-930x523In every moment, we have the power to create all our experiences in life, and they are created by our exercising the power of choice. There are choices to make in all things, and the results of these choices will lead to the nature of your experience. It applies to everything and everybody. Our choices define our lives.

Simple choices

It all begins with simple decisions in life. Should I sleep in an extra 10 minutes? Or Should I get up and choice 33attack the day? This choice could make a difference in what you experience in a small way or a large one. The routine decisions we make each day have the potential to have a significant impact on our lives. If we choose to take a specific route to work or perform a particular task, which leads to a physical injury, we have decided to put ourselves in that situation.

It is also a choice to look at our responsibility for things. We are all going to experience things that are not so great in life. Taking responsibility for our decisions can be difficult, but once you do, leaving almost any problem behind and being proactive in your actions will come naturally.

It’s all How You React

Some things in life happen which we have no absolute control over. There are crimes choices 22committed against people’s will all the time. Our choices were not to be a part of that, but we are, and our options start when we become involved. It doesn’t matter if we are involved in a flood, a crime, or the breakup in a relationship. Our choices are always ours from the moment we become involved. How you choose to react is, in fact, your personal decision. Does it make you healthier? Or Does it destroy you?

How you react to all of your experiences are going to define your life. We build walls of separation to make sure that we are never vulnerable to being hurt again. Eventually, though the walls of separation become so many, it cannot be easy to connect in any natural way at all. So it is time to make a choice, drop the barriers, or keep them up. If you are lonely, the obstacles that you have created are going to be the reason. It is hard to find somebody to spend time with, let alone one who can manage the gymnastics necessary to get over and through the barriers, you have built around yourself. Drop them; it will be much easier.

Power in Vulnerability

When the barriers we have built to protect us drop, of course, there is a vulnerability there. It is our choices1choice to be vulnerable and to be at risk of being hurt. All games involve risk; there is a risk of staying inside your barriers and dropping your resistance to change.

There is a risk in all situations in life, and being open enough to accept whatever comes your way may lead to the greatest reward. It is all up to the choices that you make. Being vulnerable is not a bad thing; it is only a thing. To live is to make decisions based on the information we have. Live big and take a chance on your goals or live small and take no chances and live inside your safe cocoon. There is always a chance of pain, but there is still a chance of something greater.

The choice is Always Yours

Choose and live your life!!
Choose and live your life!!

The choices in your life are happening all the time. You decided to read this; now you decide if you listen or agree with any of these thoughts, then what you do about it. Choose to ignore it. Choose to be moved by it. Choose to write a reply. Whatever decision you make, it is yours and yours alone. This choice and every subsequent decision will determine the day that you experience. The option is always and will always be yours and yours alone.

Take responsibility for your choices and allow life to happen. Experience it, and don’t let it destroy you. Let it make you healthy and wise.

“A mountain is composed of tiny grains of earth. The ocean is made up of tiny drops of water. Even so, life is but an endless series of little details, actions, speeches, and thoughts. And the consequences whether good or bad of even the least of them are far-reaching.” — Sivananda.

“Be willing to have it so. Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune.” — William James.

“All around us are the consequences of the most significant technological, and hence cultural, revolution in generations.” — Lawrence Lessig.

“The sower may mistake and sow his peas crookedly: the peas make no mistake, but come up and show his line.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson.

21

Heal

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When you have a physical injury, a broken arm, or a cut or laceration, it is common sense to know that it takes time to mend that wound and restore you to health. The same is also true for other injuries of the heart and mind. We injure in many ways through the simple course of living life and experiencing the loss of things we care about in life. Relationships and the people we rely on leave the most significant marks when they change, end, and leave our lives. They leave wounds behind that are just as real and often more severe than the physical ailments mentioned above.

It has long been said that time will heal all wounds, and that is often the case. However, we will never be the same person again, which is challenging for most people. We liked the way things were before and didn’t want them to change into something else. But the reality is they did, and all they left behind is the scar on your soul that only you can see and feel. But like all things, there is a time to heal: a time to grow and move on.

The Space Inside You

When one thing leaves your life, it creates a space for something better to enter and fill that space inside of you. However, this is not a smooth transaction to make because our minds often fight against this. We remember the right and long for the security of the past. Realizing the harsh reality that something is over and it is time to move on to whatever is next is difficult to do. Much of it has to do with your focus. Imagine you are standing in a room occupied by yourself and the person you loved, or the thing you enjoyed. The room has many doors, and the one you love just left through one of them. This loss leaves you alone in the space of that room, staring at the door, waiting for the person or thing you care about to reenter the room. But no matter how long you look or how much concentration you place on it, nothing happens. You are in the space of that room alone with the memory of what just left you.

What about all of the other doors in your room? Each one represents the possibility of something better that can enter your life at any moment. It could be a new person who brings you the understanding and motivation you need to become the best version of yourself. It could be an opportunity to grow that you wouldn’t have entertained before. It could be both at the same time entering into your life, and all you had to do is allow them to enter through the doors they naturally come from. Step back, take a breath, and allow the best things for your present to join you. Let the past go. Let those that hurt you go. Close that door and move on.

Healing Inside Out

Every person in the world, all the people you have ever met, and all you will ever come into contact with have endured suffering of some kind. Remember that when you are going through your daily life and judging others for their behavior. It doesn’t make poor actions acceptable, but it provides a doorway for understanding and compassion. Each of us has to process our suffering in our way. No book will accurately tell you what to do because pain involves our challenges and loss. It is as unique as a fingerprint and identifies us as who we are. The only way we can heal is to recognize what happened and the fear it creates inside of us. If this can happen now, what might happen in the future? How can I find the strength to love again? Trust again? Believe again? Trust my instincts again?

The answer to these questions lies inside, in the thoughtful evaluation of what happened. We all want to know if we are strong enough to survive the loss we are suffering. We also have to find out if we are enough for the world and those who live in it. Just being ourselves, can we ever make ourselves happy and fulfill the life of someone else? The answer will only arrive if we put the fear to the side and try to step past it. That step may be to trust someone again. It may be to trust yourself again. To find your sense of humor and use it to enhance the lives of those you come into contact with. It takes courage and strength to do this, so when you do, you will find out precisely what you are capable of as a person and what you are not—a precious and challenging thing to know.

Is it Time For You?

You will know when it is time for you to move forward when you do. Until then, you will be reexamining the past, wallowing in the mistakes, and living in times that existed before rather than focusing on what might be in the future. That sounds simple, but it is the truth of the matter. You have made mistakes in the judgment of others and trusted the wrong people. What did you learn from this? What positives can you take forward in your life? It is easy to be negative and carry anger in your heart for those who have lied to you or deceived you. But that is only going to limit your potential to grow.

Forgiveness is the path to healing. Forgive the people who have hurt you because they are who they are. Just because you thought or wished they were someone else changes nothing. People are who they are. Forgive them for hurting you, and forgive yourself for trusting them and allowing them to do that to you. It is the healthiest thing you can do. It also determines what your character consists of. You can’t control if someone else accepts deception, dishonesty, or just lack of expression as a norm of life. Understand the scope of what you can control is within the confines of your physical and mental realm. Forgive and move forward. There is nothing else we can do but wallow in self-pity and live in the past that no longer exists. Choose to heal from the inside, and the outside will reflect the more favorable result. Knowing that you are better as a person and more reliable than you were before will allow you to do the things you dream of and to become the best version of yourself.

“Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.” Tori Amos

“We need to give each other the space to grow, to be ourselves, to exercise our diversity. We need to give each other space so that we may both give and receive such beautiful things as ideas, openness, dignity, joy, healing, and inclusion.” Max de Pree

“It’s when we start working together that the real healing takes place.” David Hume

“The place of true healing is a fierce place. It’s a giant place. It’s a place of monstrous beauty and endless dark and glimmering light. And you have to work, really, really hard to get there, but you can do it.” Cheryl Strayed

“To me, forgiveness is the cornerstone of healing.” Sylvia Fraser

“Hate is self-destructive. If you hate somebody, you’re not hurting the person you hate. You’re hurting yourself. And that’s a healing. It’s a real healing, forgiveness.” Louis Zamperini

“It’s time to start thinking differently about money and debt and start the healing process – and the process toward wealth and freedom. ‘Freedom from Bad Debt’ can get you started.” Robert Kiyosaki