What do you think? There are thousands of thoughts created by your mind every day, and the tenor of the ones you pay attention to will dictate what you become and experience in life. That means you have the ultimate ability to choose who you are, what you can accomplish, and the overall experience of your life, just by monitoring your thoughts and making a choice to pay attention to the ones you want to represent you.
Take Time To Notice What Happens
As you become aware of your thoughts, take the time to see their work in your life. The ideas that you entertain about yourself are going to become real. Often we don’t even realize what thoughts we are letting control us. They are happening in the background, and they have been there in our subconscious for a long, long time. All of the thoughts that you accepted as accurate are there continually playing in a loop. Many of these are of harmful variety.
They express through the negative “ego” voice in your head. Telling you that you are not good enough or things never work out for you, or you always miss the fun stuff, or whatever negative thoughts you allow living in your mind. Notice how they come to you in a particular situation and then realize what is happening. They are not valid or accurate. If you think you can’t, you are right; you are also suitable if you think you can. Your thoughts will determine what you become.
Positive Thinking
There are a lot of negative stereotypes about positive thinking in the world. It is not just looking at the bright side of a situation, although that is a byproduct of having a more positive frame of mind. Positive thinking is turning your focus and thoughts toward emotions and actions which are positive. For example choosing love over hate, giving over taking, kindness over meanness, acceptance over judgment, etc.
Your mind is right; You create everything in your reality. Watch your thoughts always and see what changes when you entertain the positive side of the behavioral coin. Instead of judging someone who does something that angers you, look at them with softer eyes and understand the challenges they have faced to get where they are. Their struggles are not yours, be grateful for that.
You Are What You Think
So the next time, your life is giving you a hefty dose of not-so-pleasant things instead of looking outside of yourself to blame someone else. Look at the thoughts you have been entertaining. Accept responsibility for them and the actions that have resulted from them. We are all given the power of choice, and it determines our destiny. This decision is excellent news because it means we are always in control of the things we experience in life.
The mind is everything. What you think you become. ~ Buddha
Although I have trouble sometimes with certain concepts, one thing has become abundantly clear. Being Confident in life is a choice.
Confidence stems from the conscious decision to accept yourself for what you are and to not let your weaknesses rule over your strengths. Can it be that simple? The answer is a loud and emphatic YES!
Let’s face it, we are all human beings, and all of us are constructed with a list of strengths and weaknesses to take advantage of or overcome. Everybody is in the same boat; there is nobody exempt.
But not everybody looks at the boat the same way. There is a definite attitude that those who become successful carry and those who fail to wear a badge. It all comes down to the choice each individual makes about how to look at things. One person sees an insurmountable obstacle, and another sees a great opportunity. The perspective is different, but the sightseeing is the same.
How to Make Sure You Fail
If I want to ensure that I fail and lack confidence, I will focus on my mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings. Rather than looking at them for what they are, these issues become my focus, learning experiences that allow you to gain valuable information about yourself, your life, and the world around you.
If you waste your time berating yourself for past mistakes, you will miss the future that is right in front of you. There are more than enough people out there that will gladly point out your shortcomings if you listen to them.
If you focus on the fact that yes, that was a mistake, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience, what exciting opportunities does this present for me? Then you are on your way to success because it is all just a choice anyway.
Look at it. Yes. So. It happened. That’s life. Get over it.
Confidence Is A Choice
Things happen to us all. These experiences are woven into the fabric that is who we are.
Some of these experiences have been great; some have been o.k. And some have been downright awful. That is the deal with life, it isn’t always going to be perfect, and you are never really in control of any of it.
You are one hundred percent in control of how you react to everything, how you let it affect your life, and how you feel about yourself. Your level of confidence springs from this thought pattern and affects your self-esteem.
When an experience occurs, you will do well to look at the event and understand it. You lost a job, or a relationship ended. Why did it end? What growth opportunities did this present to you?
What could you do about it? Accept it because it happened. You can long for the past or feel sick over the loss, but in the end, you are going to end up in the same place, either you are going to choose to accept it and move on with your life, or not accept it and decide never to be happy or prosperous again.
If you were at an amusement park and got on a ride, you are stuck on that ride until it is over. You have the choice to enjoy it or not. To choose not to enjoy the journey seems like a waste of time, but many people take this option every day.
The ride will eventually end; you can’t go back to the beginning and experience the same thing exactly. You can try, but every time the trip will seem a little bit different.
Every experience in life is like that. The ride is life, and you are on it, whether you enjoy it or not. There will be twists and turns, ups and downs, good and bad, that we will all experience. And at some point, that experience is going to end.
Dealing with these things in a generally positive way is the first step toward feeling good about yourself and becoming more confident. Don’t let bad experiences define who you are, get over them and see what they have taught you about yourself, others, and the world around you.
You Control What You Think
You can control all of your thoughts about everything that you experience. If you don’t control what you think, then somebody else will.
Be confident in yourself and know that you have abilities and talents that make you unique and one of a kind. The world would not be quite what it is if you weren’t in it.
Let’s say that you are in a crowded restaurant; you stand up to go to the restroom, and right in front of everyone, you knock your plate on the floor. It smashed into a million pieces and made a mess.
How you think at that moment defines how you feel about yourself. A person who is comfortable with themselves might react with thoughts like this, “Wow, that was clumsy! I just made a mess. I am sure everyone here has made a mess before. I have probably given them a great story to tell. I will help clean this mess up. I don’t know any of these people anyway. ”
Another way to react would be, “God, that was such a stupid, idiotic thing to do, and I am worthless and stupid and ignorant and no good and why am I like this and God I hate being me and when will I ever learn……..etc.” You can see the difference. If you choose the self-loathing path, is it any wonder that you are not happy?
The only person in the world who can control what you really think about in any situation is you. If you choose to delve into unhealthy, self-defeating attitudes, that is the surest way to be miserable I can think of at this moment.
The good news is that choosing healthy self-promoting thoughts is just as easy, anyone can do it, and it is the pathway to feeling great every day. The most significant thing is that you have total control of your thoughts, you can’t blame anybody else, you can’t say that you “got a raw deal,” you are the maker of your dreams, and you will have to live with them no matter which type of thought you choose.
“Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.”- Sheri L. Dew
“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”- Theodore Roosevelt
Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.― Lao Tzu
Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it. ― Dorothy M. Neddermeyer
Unexpected– not expected or regarded as likely to happen.
It seems like we spend so much of our lives planning. You are trying to put yourself in the best position to experience success in a career, a relationship, or life in general. Then out of the blue, the Universe conspires to present all of the ideal circumstances to show what you are looking for right on your doorstep. Sometimes it is the unexpected presence that leaves the most long-lasting impressions on us. Being appreciative of this type of uncertainty is where my consciousness is focused today. The sudden good fortune that exists for all of us in life is there. It all begins with an awareness of your thought, the corresponding emotions, the words that result, and the actions you take, which will define you. Look for the unexpected in your day.
Open Up to the Unexpected
Back to being human. People spend so much of their time orchestrating their lives to keep themselves safe. As long as everything falls in the circle of their comfort and expectations, nothing will go wrong. They will be safe. Some people try to orchestrate their lives and the lives of their loved ones in this circle. They try to keep the unexpected out, and regimen and routine in your life. They are creating the perception of control. But it is only an illusion.
Life is going to come at you with the unexpected no matter how hard you try to plan, worry, or fret about all possible scenarios. There is nothing wrong with preparing for the future. That is common sense, but to be all out controlling about it will lead to some rude awakenings. Opening up to the fact that unexpected things will happen in your life will make them easier to deal with and allow you to reap their benefits. You can’t plan for some things, and when it happens, all you can control is your reaction to it. That is where the potential for growth lies. Be open to the unexpected.
The Unexpected Guest Makes the Best Company
Life is like a party with all the people we know about attending. Some of our favorites we choose to have individual conversations with. These people are great, but often you don’t learn anything new about the world or yourself. You move through the people in life and know the jokes, conversations, and topics that will allow you to navigate through it all. Then the unexpected guest shows up.
In this conversation, where you have no form of reference and no history, real growth can come. These words can also provide you with the most excellent entertainment value as well. As new information and experiences flow into your life, you can’t help but grow, and growth and purpose are what this whole game of life is about. The unexpected guest in your life often makes the best company and leaves you with significant gains.
Life is Short Be Unexpected
The unexpected is not just an external influence. We all can become unpredictable. Take the initiative in your life to do something different or to surprise someone. Life is an experience full of the unexpected, and we never know when the ride will end. So it only makes sense to take this day and enjoy it to the best of your ability. Something unexpected might happen, and that will provide a choice to enjoy the result or not. Choose to enjoy it.
There is gratefulness that a wise person feels for every breath they get in this life. Because you never know when it is going to end. Every moment has a potential value for enjoyment. Even moments of grief and suffering can wake you up to appreciate other moments for what they are. Life is a strange journey full of unexpected twists and turns. Learn to embrace every moment the unexpected provides each of us. It starts with your thoughts of the day, the emotions that result, the words you use because of it, and the actions it leads you to take.
“Sometimes, the most scenic roads in life are the detours you didn’t mean to take.” ― Angela N. Blount
“The expected always happens until it doesn’t”
“I’m looking for the surprises, you know, and the unexpected moments of technology, the unexpected moments of musical creation.”
I once believed I was an intelligent individual. Life had given me many perceived answers as to how to live, the best patterns of thought to follow, and a philosophy of thinking to guide me. Yet, life is a miserable trickster sometimes, and I had forgotten this important fact. It gives you enough knowledge to build up a false sense of security in your actions and then pulls the foundation in your mind away, letting you fall hard on the unforgiving concrete of learning. Congratulations! You have just moved to a new level of understanding. If you survive the harrowing experience and manage to find a reason to continue with the game of life, then you have won. I once thought I was a relatively wise man, but much of what I believed to be the truth has been proven empty in the pale open light of reality.
I Am Nothing
Wisdom knows that I am nothing. This line is the beginning of a quote I love, and it always reminds me to put my thoughts, actions, and experiences into a proper perspective. No matter what I do in my life, it is all relatively insignificant to the world in the big scheme of things. Nobody cares if I am kind, loving, understanding or mean, hateful or judgmental. The world will continue, and in effect, all that I am is nothing. The world will keep turning without me. Billions of people will rise in the morning, whether I am here or not. Lives will continue, the world will go on, with or without my contribution.
Yet, a small part of the world may benefit from my decision to be caring, kind, accepting, and loving toward those in my life. All I can do is make my actions positively represent my best self and best efforts. The thought that I am nothing with no more influence than anyone else but no less either is Wisdom itself. I have long stopped judging myself and my philosophies as good or bad because they are things I think and experience. I know that I am nothing, and in that knowledge, I have the potential to make a difference.
I am Everything
Love teaches me that I am Everything. In my experience, the human heart is not well equipped to handle love. The emotions of our lives come to us in waves, love, lust, anger, hatred, jealousy, pain, anger, joy, attachment, kindness, meanness, loss, gain, and many more things are all wrapped up in the emotion we describe as love. There are so many things wound up into this experience nobody can take it all quickly. But in love, we can find our best selves and abilities to rise to the surface of who we are.
Inside of us is the constant battle of choice and love is at the forefront of this. It brings heightened experiences and magnifies all the choices we make around them. The more we love ourselves and others, the more our life has to contribute to the world. In being conscious of how our thoughts of love materialize in the world. The closer we are to being our best selves. Love knows I am Everything and in Everything, from nature to thoughts in my head. We are vital to the world because of our capacity to see the value in others and life. This view is often obscured by the painful needs of our false selves or ego. We can’t see our love’s value or capacity because we are too worried about our needs not being met. Remember, love knows you are Everything.
Life is In Between
So we look to Wisdom to know we are nothing and love to understand we are Everything, but then there is the experience of life. We have to be able to look at our experiences and quantify them in some way. It is tough for me because I am constantly moving between these two different realities, and the closer I am to Wisdom, the more lonely and sad I feel. So is it better to be less wise and more blissful in experiencing love each day? I think the phrase is, ignorance is bliss.
I do know that the only person who controls the amount of love I give to the world is me. Circumstances are what they are. The choices of others are theirs to make, and they define their lives. It seems very unwise to allow them to dictate how you feel about yourself. That seems silly and dangerous. A person could be mentally unbalanced, and letting their vacillations of thoughts and caring dictate your reality will make you mentally unstable. I hope I can choose to be wise and loving.
Being Wise and Loving
I hope that in the game of life, I can learn to practice the Wisdom of knowing I am not the center of the universe. Understanding the love I can contribute to the world can make a difference in some small way. By choosing to put the well-being of others and those, I affect in my life. Making positive choices each day and in each situation I face is the best decision I can make. I am choosing to be kind, not mean. To be honest and not lie. To be accepting of others and not judgmental. To be giving, not selfish. To be appreciative, not greedy.
There is only one way that I will find out: to live life and hope that I can navigate this minefield of emotions, thought, and action—turning my life into something that resembles value to others and myself. It must be a pleasant existence to float through things and not wonder about anything in any deep and contemplative way. But that is not my path. Is it one of Wisdom, one of love, or one that contains a balance within? Only in the end will the answer be revealed if it has all been false sense or not.
“Wisdom knows I am nothing, Love knows I am Everything, and between the two, my life moves.”
Bad days happen. We fall, we make mistakes, and things fall apart. That is life. I have observed that the people who move swiftly through these mishaps manage to enjoy the positive side of life and have developed habits worth emulating. It is easy to let negativity creep into our lives as we live day to day, especially when things are not seeming to go our way. Consciously focusing our thoughts on the positives in life will provide value where it appears that none exists. Being in love with your life during each minute is a secret to happiness. It is not what happens to your thoughts about the thing which affects your life.
When you fall, make mistakes or lose something or someone, learning to manage your thoughts more productively will decrease the time of self-pity and sadness and allow you to take the lessons and move forward. That is all there is to do in life.
Let Worry and Fear Go
It is a natural part of our society to look at the future with worry and fear. What if I don’t have enough? What if the money runs out? What if I am alone? What if nobody is there to love me? All of these questions and more will build worry and fear into today that will rob you of any enjoyment you may experience. You have the money; you are loved; you have enough; all these things are happening right now. Enjoy them. It is OK to be happy at the moment.
Happy people tend to focus on the positive things in their life right now and have gratitude for them. The future is uncertain at best, and it will happen. It could be great or not so great. It really will depend on the way you view the things that come your way. Why let it take away from the certainty that is good today? Let worry and fear go; they are limiting and will only make you unhappy. Worriers are generally people who are grasping at the control when situations become uncontrollable, always. No amount of worry or fear is going to stop the thing from happening. We all understand that life is going to end the same for everyone eventually. It is how you live in each moment of each day, which will define you. Live each moment well, and don’t fall into the trap of worry and fear.
Watch The Words
Words have a power that most people fail to recognize. Words can build, encourage, love, or support. They have equal potential to tear down, discourage, hate, or undermine. The way you use your words will dictate the energy they have for others and yourself. If your comments are focused on Gossip and complaining, then your life will be filled with a lot of misery.
Watch your words and how many are spent on complaining about circumstances in your life or gossiping about the life of others. That will provide the energy to bring you and everyone you deal with down. Misery loves company, and so does contentment. Watch your words. Are they positive or negative? The words you use will define your experience every day. Avoid Gossip and complaining. What you focus on in life increases.
It is also worthy to note that when you withhold words you should speak, you are also harming yourself and those you care about in your life. Knowing what to say and avoiding direct and clear communication about your views and how things affect you is a limiting action. When one word may have saved someone else needless suffering, share your words when they represent what you think and feel about your relationships because sometimes the moment passes, and there is no way to repeat those things. In their silence, they cause pain, and they can’t reverse it. Open and honest communication is the best practice.
Comparison and Jealousy
Happy people don’t spend their time comparing their life and accomplishments to others. That is one of the surest ways to build misery. The experiences and achievements of others are not your business. People see success for others and feel jealous. Why not be supportive of all people? It is based on the misconception that there is a finite amount of anything in the world. The truth is that there is plenty of wealth, success, and happiness for everyone. Most of us seem to lack the confidence to go after it and find our joy. We are responsible for our thoughts and actions in all areas of life, and the actions and thoughts of success are always available for us to grasp and hold onto tightly.
When you concern yourself with your success and happiness and how you behave, not only will positive things happen for you, but you will enjoy them more. Time spent being jealous or envious of someone else’s success is foolish and self-defeating. These thoughts will take away from the abilities you have to create your own most joyous life. Developing ideas and accomplishing goals is a good thing and should be commended and applauded. It proves that all people can be successful, wealthy, creative, and happy, INCLUDING YOU! To not see this is another way you can fall.
Life Is Hard, Not!
If you entertain the limiting belief that life is hard, then it surely will be. These thoughts are away many fall down. It is a simple fact that happy people ignore and look at life quite differently. Life is meant to be an adventure with many twists and turns, and each can bring happiness into your life if you let it. All people experience loss in life; the damage is a lesson we all have to deal with at some point. It is your attitude about the loss that will define the rest of your life. I know words about loss can seem empty, but I have known significant loss, and my thoughts about it were my biggest weakness. The power I gave ideas limited my ability to be even just a little bit happy because I focused on the loss. Not on the gains and the possibilities ahead. To look at what is gone and long for it again is a natural feeling and desire. But many great things are not meant to last and are fleeting in their beauty. Love them anyway. Try not to fall down the trap of feeling one situation or person is all there is for you.
If you believe that there is no way your life can be good again, it most likely won’t be. That means that each loss, either a death, loss of a job, a relationship or
We all fall down sometimes; it is the fact that we get back up that defines us.
anything that is a loss brings with it a possibility of growth and wonder as well. That is a fact, and it depends on the choices we make.
We decide not to move forward or not look for a new advantage. Optimistic people seem to have found the secret of perspective. We can all practice this by looking at life as a road of endless possibilities rather than living as a complex, painful experience.
Your choices when you fall will define what you feel about your experiences and, of course, your level of happiness and enjoyment. There is nobody or nothing else to blame for the joy you have in your life. It is solely and entirely up to you and the mindset you develop over your life. Choose to be upset, and you surely will be. I am choosing to be satisfied and seeking in all I do in life. I have fallen down and am picking myself up and moving forward into opportunity.
“You don’t get drow by falling into a river. You get drown by remaining there. Falling accidentally and rising immediately was what distinguished Thomas Edison and Abraham Lincoln from the rest.” ― Israelmore Ayivor
“Life has pounded me down
and thrashed me around,
Time and time again,
But I always get right back up,
Because I still love life –
Just as the earth still loves
The rain.”
― Suzy Kassemn
“You fell down? Get up! You fell down again? Get up again? You keep falling down? Keep getting up! Refuse the direction towards the ground! Up and forward, that is the direction!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan
Joyous- a good, affirmative, or constructive quality or attribute.
Today can be a good day, or this can be a bad day. Positive thinking will make sure it is a good day. The decision is yours to make. A pretty simple choice, isn’t it? You have total control over what kind of experiences you will have only by how you look at the circumstances you find yourself in at the moment. Positive thinking allows you to be hopeful through all sorts of situations. It sees the long game of benefits in a short set of experiences. It is choosing to be a force that helps others in the world. Positive thinking is a chance to be a positive change in the world. It starts with a conscious awareness of how your thoughts move you today toward the positive or the negative and how your corresponding emotions, words, and actions stem from that. I have experienced many images over the past year, betrayal, loss, lies, and selfishness. My conscious choice is to look ahead and leave the past in the past. That is what I was supposed to do all along.
Positive Thinking Determines What you Will Accomplish
It is said that “your attitude will determine your altitude in life.” What this implies is that what you get from life is what you put into it. When it comes to your career, if you expect to find the work you love and develop the knowledge and skillsets required, you are well on your way to achieving that goal. The next step is action. It would help if you took action; without it, you would not reach your destination.
I was once told that life is 10 percent what happens to you and 90 percent of how you react to it. The ratio may be wrong, but the general idea is correct in its meaning. Many things in life happen to us that we have no control over, but we always do have control over how we react to them. Positive thinking allows those reactions to be helpful and productive rather than unhelpful and destructive.
How do you put this into practice? Well, it is as simple as making a decision. It can be anything from losing a job to getting a flat tire. There can often be things in our lives that are not pleasant to experience. Still, they allow us challenges that would enable growth and increased self-awareness that we would never have had if these unfortunate events had never occurred. If you can manage your anger and the urge to indulge in self-pity, you will be able to find a bit of good in anything. That is positive thinking.
This is How Positive Thinking Works
How can the loss of a job possibly be a good thing? Because when the injury occurred, you were forced to branch out and explore options you would never have explored or looked at had you never lost the previous job. You would never know if you have the strength or will to survive something until you do. That is positive. All of life is a constant movement of change. It is difficult to see the long-term benefits until you are looking backward. But they are there. Your choice is to be optimistic about the future or be cynical about past experiences. One will lead to growth, and one will not.
How can getting a flat tire be a good thing? You never know what is waiting for you down the road. You might have gotten into a horrible accident if an annoying flat tire hadn’t waylaid you. It could have saved you from destroying your vehicle or even protected you from significant bodily harm. It is all a matter of perspective and outlook. Often we see the problem and focus on that because of the stress of the immediate situation. How you deal with issues in life determines the experience you have in life.
Being Positive doesn’t Ignore the Negative
I hear many people look at the prospect of being positive and seeing the bright side as being unrealistic. All events happen, death, crime, accidents, and they can happen at any time. Each brings with it a set of challenges to every human that faces them. Our thoughts and emotions are intertwined. So we need to grieve, and that is not a “good” thing, but it is a necessary part of living and enjoying life. No matter what or who has left your life, life is still moving forward. What will you do with your time remaining?
Some will choose to sit and look at what is lost and never move past it. Others will see the loss as a change in life, but life still has a lot of good things to give to your experience. Many times it is up to our consciousness to notice the good things that are remaining. We only have a finite amount of time to have this human experience. Each of us decides for ourselves if it is spent in fear of what life may bring or in love with what life is giving us. Always your choice and nobody else’s.
Positive Challenge
So I challenge you to put this into practice and choose to make today the best day that you possibly can. Enjoy the good things in your life, from the cup of coffee at the beginning of the day to the caring thoughts that others send your way throughout the day. This day you have a thousand choices of what you think, feel, and do. Be conscious of your reaction to all things. Is it positive or negative? Why is it that way? Then take it into the next day.
Make someone else’s day a little better, compliment them, or be kind. It’s free! Practice positive thinking and make your reality a little bit sweeter and gentler today. If you are thinking in a positive direction, don’t let someone else’s negative thoughts influence you toward the negative. Use them as a springboard to become more positive. Only a positive frame of mind will allow you to enjoy life and all it has to offer. A negative mindset will let you fear life. It is your choice, and it starts with a greater awareness of the thoughts you entertain. The emotions they bring to the surface. The words you speak to others because of your dreams—your actions because of your positive or negative mentality.
“Each day, I come in with a positive attitude, trying to get better.”- Stefon Diggs
“Your positive action, combined with positive thinking, results in success.” Shiv Khera
“Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year.” – Ralph Waldo Emerson.
One of the things I am trying to improve in my life is my understanding of emotions. Most people can improve themselves and their relationships by recognizing what they feel and how these emotions affect us. There was no actual instruction in life about what your feelings are, where they come from, and how to deal with negative emotions in a way that won’t hurt you or someone else. My favorite definition of emotional intelligence is the capacity to be aware of and handle interpersonal relationships judiciously and empathetically. All that means that the “stuff” that comes up interacting with others, you can cope with a constructive and healthy way — the ability to understand your emotions. Emotions are not something to fear. They are to be understood.
The Emotional Reaction
It seems like our emotions come to us in waves of almost uncontrollable waves. One minute we feel just fine, and then like a hurricane, a feeling of fear, guilt, jealousy washes over us, almost without our consent. But we do consent. Emotions often rise from our subconscious through a cycle of thought we have created and followed through our lives. We take in stimulus information, and immediately we assign meaning to it. Whatever that meaning is will almost simultaneously bring emotion to the surface, which determines a person’s action.
This little cycle is playing out over and over in our lives. The emotions that arise are based on our history and programming. Two people could have the same experience but have it move them in an entirely different direction. Start looking at your thoughts and emotional reactions and their sources. See the patterns and the responses you have, their origins, and you will be on the way to understanding your emotional self.
Problems of Emotions
No matter who you are, if you are a healthy and functioning human being, emotions are a part of your daily life. One of the biggest problems is that most don’t understand what brings on feelings, and when they hit you, it can be overwhelming. Emotions are the alerts our brain sends to the body to avoid suffering and to lead you toward pleasure. The problem is that without a conscious understanding of your emotions, they can run your life, and usually not in a positive way.
Our minds remember all the situations we experience in life. When you face a problem today that reminds us of something that happened in the past, those similar emotions rise to the surface to protect us. Anger is a clear warning of fear. It tells everyone around you that you are afraid you are in danger of being hurt. A need you have will be ignored or overlooked. This fear can lead to actions and words of hate, meanness, and just a general insensitivity for the emotional states of others. Like sensitive babies, we cry out without concern for anyone but ourselves.
Emotional Release and Understanding
The outlook is not bleak, though. Once you realize your emotions result from the thoughts on which you focus, you can change that focus. All thinking leads to a corresponding emotional state. That is how we work. The human mind can only focus on one thought at a time, so changing the focus will change the emotional outlook. It starts with noticing what your emotions are and not just reacting to them. Look at them and see what they are telling you. If you are feeling jealousy, where does it come from? Our emotional reactions develop from experience; most of our dominant negative emotions come from our personal history. Take a moment and follow that emotion; most often, the current situation doesn’t warrant a powerful emotional outburst.
Noticing and identifying our emotions is something that most people never do. They allow their feelings to move them from one place to another. The secret is that we are not our emotions. When you feel sad, you are a person feeling low, not the sadness itself. The same premise exists for anger, frustration, fear, jealousy, happiness, joy, and love. Emotions are tools to help understand life, not life itself. We are humans with emotions biased toward our past. Knowing this can give you the key to a higher level of emotional intelligence, bringing you a genuine ability to understand your emotions.
Emotional Deconstruction
The beginning of understanding is knowing your emotional arena. You have to be able to look at yourself and your history honestly. It is easy to gloss over wounds from our lives and to say it wasn’t any problem. But those are the problems! They can’t be swept under the rug because they are always looking for a way to express themselves. It is difficult to admit that we are not perfect, and our lives aren’t still perfect. But here is a secret, nobody’s life is perfect. Look honestly at all the things you can remember hurting you or where you felt negative emotions of any kind. Accept them for what they are and let them go.
Acceptance of your issues is difficult to overcome because it makes you admit you were hurt, frustrated, embarrassed, jealous, lost, angry, afraid, or whatever emotional experience has haunted you. To do anything else is to let emotional distress from our childhood run our lives today. Shine a light on it, allow yourself to feel it, and then release it for what it was, a human learning experience that caused us to suffer in some way.
Emotions and Me
Emotional work is not something that I look forward to doing because emotions can be sticky, uncomfortable, and a little scary sometimes. To honestly look at your situations and thoughts and identify the feelings they bring to the surface is never a comfortable and easy process. I never learned about emotions and healthy ways to deal with them. I know that not expressing them and pushing them down inside of yourself, and pretending they don’t exist is an unhealthy practice.
I know that I would have emotional reactions to situations in the past and not know why responding with an automatic response. The emotional response would beat the logical, well-thought-out result. But now, I hope to look at the emotions I feel and evaluate what they are trying to tell me. Then make a rational decision. Also, I think that I had a bad habit of meditating on negative emotions and that practice creates a severe downward cycle. Changing your focus for a short time to something more positive will allow you to get out of those doldrums.
I think that emotional education should focus on our educational system so that all people have the tools to deal with failure, love, success, heartbreak, judgment, acceptance, or anything else they face in life. Having emotions is a part of being human. Developing the ability to understand your emotional responses will make you a successful and happy human.
“If your emotional abilities aren’t in hand if you don’t have self-awareness if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far.” -Daniel Goleman
“75 percent of careers are derailed for reasons related to emotional competencies, including an inability to handle interpersonal problems, unsatisfactory team leadership during times of difficulty or conflict; or inability to adapt to change or elicit trust.” -Center for Creative Leadership
“When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but with creatures of emotion.” -Dale Carnegie
“When our emotional health is in a bad state, so is our level of self-esteem. We have to slow down and deal with what is troubling us so that we can enjoy the simple joy of being happy and at peace with ourselves.” -Jess C. Scott
“The only way to change someone’s mind is to connect with them from the heart.” -Rasheed Ogunlaru
“No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care.” -Theodore Roosevelt
“Unleash in the right time and place before you explode at the wrong time and place.” -Oli Anderson
“The greatest ability in business is to get along with others and influence their actions.” -John Hancock
“In a high-IQ job pool, soft skills like discipline, drive, and empathy mark those who emerge as outstanding.” -Daniel Goleman
In a day, we make thousands of choices. There are two types of choices we make, conscious and unconscious decisions. The number of each of these we allow and accept will determine the kind of life we experience. The more options we make on autopilot, the more we acknowledge that auto-response to deciding who we are and what we represent. Moving more of your decisions to the conscious realm will allow you to choose things that will serve you and truthfully define what you stand for. When you develop your conscious choices, you bring power to your life through your conscious or unconscious reactions to what happens. We determine the path of our lives.
Unconscious Choices
The majority of our decisions are of this variety because it is more efficient in many cases and saves us a lot of energy. It would be silly to have to think about how to drive a car consciously, or walk, or take a shower every day. So many of our actions happen under the radar,
Moving by subconscious thought
Following the subconscious mind handles work, and it will keep you going. The problem with allowing our choices to dictate life by our subconscious is we become reactionary and thoughtless in too many ways. Our thoughts lead to our emotions, words, and actions, and to not make a conscious choice about how we think puts us at the mercy of mere reaction for all of our emotional stability is unwise and unhealthy. Still, many of us opt for this type of behavior. Once you become aware of the thoughts, you think you have moved to the conscious level. That is an excellent place to be.
Conscious Choices
Being aware of our choices has more to do with the direction of our lives than we know. This decision is the process of making a conscious choice about the thoughts you entertain at each moment. Since our thoughts will bring corresponding emotions, words, and actions, you are determining the tenor of your life. It seems straightforward that if an idea brings anger, frustration, or fear, think about something else. Even though it does sound oversimplified, the process is that simple. When you look at your job, you have a choice to think about all the things that annoy you or bother you, or you can choose to look at the things you like. The decision you make in that area will determine your mood as you experience things. Since it is a choice, why not choose to be happy.
When you make conscious choices of the thoughts you entertain, you are automatically living in the moment. Since the moment is all you are guaranteed, then you are experiencing your life, not just sleepwalking through it. Too often, your unconscious thoughts will take you to places that are out of the moment, either to experiences in the past or places you may go in the future. As soon as these two places rule your life, then you are spending thoughts, words, and actions on something that doesn’t exist in reality. Livin at the moment brings a natural appreciation for the moment, just as it is. This is done through the process of conscious thinking.
Choose Consciously
Look at your thoughts today. Which are serving you and which are just there subconsciously because you are operating on autopilot? We are all in control of the ideas we choose to pay attention to in a day. When you are angry or feeling upset, take a
We control the chains of our thought and can break them at any time.
There is always a thought at the root of any emotion. Moment and follow the emotion back to the thought. Choosing a positive idea is just as easy as selecting an unfavorable view. Knowing this, we are still controlling what we feel by being conscious of what we think and pay attention to. Make good positive, conscious choices today in your life. You are the person who will benefit from that. Take yourself off autopilot and fly your plane.
“Man is made and unmade by himself. In the armory of thought, he forges the weapons which will destroy him. He also creates the tools with which he will build for himself heavenly mansions of joy and strength and peach. Between these two extremes are all the grades of character, and man is their maker and their master.”- James Allen.
“No problem can be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.” Albert Einstein
“Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” Rumi
Have you noticed that the beliefs you cling to and carry around inside determine what your experience in life is going to be?
Over the past ten years, I started to look at my core beliefs and found that my programming had left me with a raft of limiting beliefs that determined just what the outcomes of many of my experiences were going to be.
I have been carrying around many things that are silly, self-defeating, demeaning, and just plain wrong. Under these conditions, I determined to see if I couldn’t change them a bit because, as I saw it until they were different, nothing was going to change.
I never looked at the core beliefs I carried around about myself until the last few years, and I have been astonished about what I have found. Under these conditions, I determined to see if I couldn’t change them a bit because, as I saw it until they were different, nothing in my life was going to change for the better. So I set out to change them.
This move is not a thought or a discussion about religion or a view of God, but rather the view we have of ourselves because of what was taught through our interactions in the world. These beliefs were learned in most cases a long time ago, and they
You can accomplish anything!
It is good to remember that our parents, grandparents, and teachers most often wanted the best for us, but in trying to keep people safe, they imparted beliefs that were just wrong. Carry with them the fear and life experience of every adult we accept information from in our lives. The great news is that once you recognize a belief, you will have the ability to change it and what you believe is the first key to finding your power.
To accomplish all that we dream about in life, you first need to develop a belief inside of you that not only can we do it, but that we deserve to have the benefits of whatever good thing we are shooting for. The first step for anyone is to look inside themselves honestly and see what beliefs you hold onto. Remember that talking a good game is not going to change the beliefs that
you have built about yourself and the world.
When you look at your life path, what is the definition of success you have in your mind? Whatever it is, I will bet that it is not that different from what you learned from examples and lessons when you were very young. Most people define success as the accumulation of money or respect for others. You are born, go to school, go to college, get a job, work for 30-35 years, retire, and then run out the clock until you die. That was the American Dream that I was taught. The funny thing was that in pursuing that dream, I was not particularly happy. Invariably there were experiences where I had the thought, “This is it?” The life I was experiencing was safe, but it was not very challenging or exciting.
Choosing a different path based on newer beliefs can be a scary thing, but look into your heart and see what is in there. Where do you want to go? What is it that makes you happy? Where is your passion?
It all begins with your beliefs, and you had better believe that your experience in life will go no further and bring you nothing that you don’t think you deserve. The best part is that you can change your beliefs at any point, and nothing is more powerful than changing a limiting belief to one that is more positive.
Believe in Yourself quotes:
“If you hear a voice within you say ‘you cannot paint, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.” – Vincent Van Gogh
“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside cannot hurt you.” – African Proverb
“Aerodynamically, the bumblebee shouldn’t be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn’t know that so it goes on flying anyway.” – Mary Kay Ash
“Believe in yourself, and the rest will fall into place. Have faith in your own abilities, work hard, and there is nothing you cannot accomplish.”– Brad Henry
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.”– Anaïs Nin
Your Thoughts are Dictating What you are attracting in your life.
One of the more popular Universal Laws is the Law of Attraction. Due to the movie The Secret, this Law has become recognized as an almost magical force that will bring all of your wildest dreams into reality if you do it right. But I don’t think it works quite like that. There is nothing natural or straightforward about this because we are human beings and have many flaws.
You don’t get what you wish for in life; you get what you believe you deserve. At least that is my experience. Like attracts like so what is happening underneath the surface of your life, in your heart and mind, where nobody else but you can see is the most significant force regarding what types of experiences you have in life. To me, the Law of Attraction is no different than any other goal-setting program. Let go of the mystical, unbelievable parts of this. Believe that you can achieve anything through action.
Knowing what you want
To get to a destination or accomplish something, you have to have an end goal in mind. If, right now, you had no ties, no limitations, what would you do? Where would you go? What things would you accomplish? In theory, it is easy to answer, but when we face the reality of doing anything we want, often we have no idea what would make us happy. This is because we have been brainwashed about what we should do. We spend little time thinking about what we want to do.
Understanding what will make you happy is the first step in any goal setting. Then ask for it. We pray by creating a goal around this thing we want and start to imagine what it will be like. Building robust, concrete plans to accomplish always gets the process of accomplishment in motion. There is no other way to do it. Set your destination and start the journey. Knowing what you want out of life is vital to the Law of attraction. Remember that knowing what you want is not magically making it appear; it is the first step.
Believe You Deserve Success
Believing that you can do something is more comfortable than thinking that you deserve to do something. That statement is sad but true. Our beliefs about our abilities and characteristics all determine how many of our goals we can accomplish. Your ideas about yourself develop throughout your life. Opinions and thoughts of parents, relatives, peers, teachers, Culture, and the media. Many of our beliefs are limiting and hold us back, yet we cling to them still. Changing that mindset is the most significant step to accomplishment a person can have.
The steps that you need to take to reach your goals will require you to do things, try things, fail at something, learn from things and do it all over again to find the path to reach whatever goal you set for yourself. Developing positive beliefs about yourself is vital to becoming the best you can be. Understand that if you follow the process out, the result will be a joy. There is a joy in all journeys, a feeling of learning and mastering the unknown. Changing limiting beliefs takes a little work, but all that you want to accomplish is on the other side of that process.
You Deserve It
In the Law of Attraction, you have to receive whatever it is that you want. That means to me that you know you deserve and are worthy of whatever goal you have set. This action sounds simple, but people often think good things are for others and not for them. Either because of limiting beliefs or because of a lack of confidence in themselves. I believe that everybody deserves to achieve goals.
The action steps you take toward a goal prove that you are deserving of any goal you set out to achieve. The process is not simple or easy; there are many learning moments along the way. I have often felt that it is the journey that has more value than the destination. The challenges you overcame, the setbacks you didn’t let stop you, and the growth that had to occur are all part of the journey. Paying this price does not have to be painful; it can be enjoyable. It is a matter of your perspective and how you view it. Knowing that you deserve good things in life, we all do.
Finally
When you hear about the Law of Attraction in the future, try not to think of mystical, metaphysical forces, but rather a simple law that supports goal setting and achieving. To me, that is what it means. When you set a clear goal, believe in yourself, and consistently accomplish it, you can achieve it. All people can move their lives in whatever direction they choose towards desperation and fear or love and accomplishment. It is totally up to you how your own story unfolds, but know that the process is always there for you to use.
Set a goal, get excited about it, visualize its success, then start taking steps to get yourself moving in that direction. Believe in yourself and your ability to accomplish whatever it is and have the self-worth to accept the final result, and there you have it.
“Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it.”- Maya Angelou
“What you think you create. What you feel you attract. What you imagine you become.”-Anonymous
“The universe changes; our life is what our thoughts make it.”-Marcus Aurelius
They express through the negative “ego” voice in your head. Telling you that you are not good enough or things never work out for you, or you always miss the fun stuff, or whatever negative thoughts you allow living in your mind. Notice how they come to you in a particular situation and then realize what is happening. They are not valid or accurate. If you think you can’t, you are right; you are also suitable if you think you can. Your thoughts will determine what you become.
more positive frame of mind. Positive thinking is turning your focus and thoughts toward emotions and actions which are positive. For example choosing love over hate, giving over taking, kindness over meanness, acceptance over judgment, etc.
