All posts by Jonathan Hilton

21

Lessons

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10891894_10152953817908518_7194032913393854931_nFrom time to time we all reflect on our experiences and try to bring some valuable experience from life. It is human nature to look back and reflect on the things that happened and to glean whatever helpful information we can from it. Many occasions and situations happened over the past year, which has given us a new experience or taught us a new lesson.  The year has certainly taught me many engaging lessons. It seems the older that I am, the more I learn, and I look forward to the new year with anticipation about all the things that I will know.  But before we move forward, let me look back at the year and the lessons it has taught me.

  1. Be for yourself- In all that you do, it is ok to look at the experience and determine what is going to be the best outcome for you. If you don’t look to your well-being, then nobody else is going to. Making sure that what you are experiencing is good for you and your future is not selfish. It is common sense. I have found that most situations are designed to work out in your favor, especially if one takes a moment to analyze it and see if it is ultimately for your greatest good.

2. People are Awesome-  Or at least they are if you give them the chance to be. At the end of each year, it is natural to look at the year and think of the people who have come into your life over the previous 12 months and the mark they have made on it. I have been very fortunate to have many incredible people touch my life and leave an indestructible, positive impact on me.  From all areas of life and places I hang around and write like Panera, my life has been altered and enhanced by each encounter. It affects everything from the music I enjoy to the understanding I have about others.

Often people enter your life much like the tide in the ocean. They roll in and cover an area, stay for the time they are intended, and then recede to their origins. Often the things that they leave behind on the beach of your life are pretty significant. Even though few people can remain in your life constantly forever, each leaves’ mark may have a lasting effect. They may make you smile when you think of them or force you to think of things differently.

I have been blessed this year by many tides, and the remnants of their presence will stay with me throughout life. I wonder how many people I will meet in the new year can say the same thing about. I can’t wait to find out.

3.  Living without Attachment- One of my problems is placing an unhealthy attachment to things.  I hope that I have learned how to be better at allowing things to happen as they are meant to and enjoying them for what they are, rather than being disappointed for what they are not. When I let life go, doing my part by setting goals and taking actions, each day brings an enjoyment that makes life a fantastic experience.

It doesn’t matter what you are doing; it will always be good if you appreciate what they are. There are sad things that happen, and you will not define those as “good,” but they are happening. If you learn something from them, then they are valuable. I do not know what the future is bringing, but I look forward to it all.

  1. Getting Healthy is Hard but Rewarding- I am sure that many have learned this lesson. As you reach the end of your rope and know it is time to take control of your health and fitness. No matter your goal, it can be challenging to get to the point you want to get to. Losing weight or just being healthier. The good news is that you will soon be reminded how good it feels to get a regular exercise period in your life. How happy it makes you and how much more you enjoy life because of it. I had the motivation to finally put all the excuses aside and start to get in better shape, and it has made my life a complete experience and has led to some daunting fitness goals in the new year. There is only one way to accomplish any fitness goal: one day at a time.

5. What you BELIEVE about yourself is a choice and can be changed as more information becomes available.

I learned that most people are running their lives based on the beliefs they established when they were very young. These beliefs were cultivated and developed because of the ideas of our parents, teachers, and things as distant as the media. Our beliefs about success, love, and money have been implanted in our minds, and most folks never manage to question these things.

You can change all of these beliefs about yourself at any time that you wish. It takes a simple recognition of your beliefs and how you would like to change them. Let your life experience dictate what you believe and not what someone else wanted you to think about yourself, your abilities, and how enjoyable your life experience is going to be.

6. Forgiveness is vital in moving forward in life. The most important person is that you need to forgive yourself. There is nobody else’s opinion that matters as much to you and your life experience as yours. All people have regrets and have made mistakes; it is OK. Let go of the guilt and make choices today that will honor you, and that is the only thing you can control. The past is gone, and it is never coming back, good or bad.

Once you truly forgive yourself, then I have found that forgiving others is a lot easier.  Forgiveness allows you to keep things in perspective, move forward with life, and enjoy what you experience without comparing or contrasting it to previous events. Happiness is a choice that often begins with the intention to forgive others and, most importantly yourself.

7. Being positive is a choice that you can make. Many people look at positive thinking in the wrong light, I think. It is not only looking on the bright side of things, but it includes how you perceive the world and its events. There is a natural and straightforward contrast to what we view as unfavorable, and how you think is always a choice. If you look at someone and judge them in a negative light, it is just as simple and healthier to accept them as they are. You are learning to practice substituting sympathy for cruelty, love for hate, generosity for greed, or hope for fear. All of these things are simple choices that you make in every situation.  Life will test you, and no matter how hard you try, there will be times when you fail and think things based on bias and prejudice. Each one of these situations provides you with the chance to grow and become a better person.

8. It’s OK to be Afraid

All people experience fear, and it is a natural part of life. How you deal with it is what is essential. Facing what you are afraid of head-on and honestly takes courage, and hopefully, I have developed this type of strength over the past year.  Fear of death, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of what other people think of you and what you do, etc., are all genuine. There is no weakness in feeling these things as long as you face them, overcome them and take actions that you know are right.  In many cases, it does take bravery to be yourself, but that is the only natural way to experience a happy life.

I look forward to the changes and opportunities that I will have to be a better person as I develop throughout the year. This is a very Good Thing.

21

There’s A Light

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When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

light in the darkness jonathan hilton
Are Your Ideas In the Darkness?

There are times in everyone’s life when they feel like they are all by themselves, with only their beliefs to guide them.  These times are opportunities to define your life, what your principles are, and how you will share this with the world. Will you continue to think as you always have? Or will you move in the direction of change and growth? That is a test that life likes to give us from time to time, and we must find the lesson and maintain our humanity and compassion in the process. There is no question difficult times are tough to endure but they bring with them an opportunity.  One way or another these moments will come to define your life, providing you with depth in the way you view life and your place in it.  You will have the chance to become more understanding of the plight of others in the world or you can build bitterness around your own situation.  The decision is truly yours. What light do you bring into the world?  One of illumination or destruction?

The Dark Side

walking into the darkness
Fear-based thought will lead you to the darkness.

When difficult times arrive, you may forget the soft glow of the idea you strongly believe in, you can lose your positive attitude. This experience can cause disillusion, anger, hatred, and, most of all, self-pity. Why is everyone against me? If they were real friends, they would support me no matter what. Poor me! These are natural emotions and thoughts, but that is all that they are.  We are not our thoughts or emotions. In this case, they are all caused by the actions and opinions of others.  The danger is that once you start down the path of self-pity and anger, you are in danger of staying there for a long time, if not forever.

All of these are fear-based emotions and thoughts, which can have no other destination than to make you unhappy, angry, and scared.  There is no way that you can embrace the good in something and grow if you spend all of your time, though, and effort in self-pity and anger. These emotions can become pervasive in all aspects of your life, and relationships end; you will find that you look at everything with a veil of suspicion, and it will become nearly impossible to be truly happy.  This change can be caused by any tragedy in your life, losing a job, character assassinations, the death of a loved one, or any of the significant obstacles of life.  Fortunately, this is not permanent or fatal unless you want it to be.

The Light

When you carry the light of an idea into the darkness, you will always have a choice, for

walking in the light
Thoughts and actions based on love will bring you to light no matter where you are

every adverse reaction above, there is a positive choice available to you.  This choice is the path of growth because these decisions come from love.  Compassion, understanding, kindness, and forgiveness are all examples of this type of reaction.  It is pretty easy to display these characteristics when times are good and everything is going your way, but quite a different story when facing challenges.  You get laid off from your job unexpectedly, how do you react? It would be understandable if you were angry and felt it was unfair and wished terrible things on all of those responsible, but what will that accomplish when you look at it?

You will allow the things that happened to you to define you and all of your actions.  Or you can accept that it happened and look for the positive. This optimism may be the push you needed to finally follow your dream and become a doctor or an engineer or whatever you have always wanted to do.  Difficult times and opportunities often walk hand in hand if you keep your eyes open.  Forgive those that you feel wronged you, accept what has happened, and move forward with courage. I can’t tell you for sure, but open your eyes and embrace the changes, and you may find yourself significantly happier than when you began this journey.

So if you feel like you are marching into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believe in, make that idea one that honors you and leads to a more significant light in the world. If it creates love, it will do that. If it starts with fear, it will most likely lead to misery and pain. Look for the light in the situations you face, and even the worst things can ultimately positively impact you and the world.  There is no way to change the past and what has happened. You have one hundred percent control over how you react to them.

Into the light

 

21

Overcome Failure

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Which is worse, failing or never trying?

Nobody in their right mind would ever set out to fail because accomplishment is what people have been programmed to strive for. Yet, I look at our society, and I see a significant fear of failure in the eyes of most.  It has been bred from our earliest school days, “Do what we tell you and succeed,” “Never try something your not sure of, or you might fail.”  I think that history is full of people who have seen their share of disappointment and failure. Yet, these initial setbacks worked as a springboard to future success.  Failure is never fatal. Quitting is. Why is it that our educational systems seem to fear failure so?

A Harsh but Effective Teacher

learning from failure
At First You May Fall

Failure is a word that has negative connotations attached to it.  Nobody wants to be seen as a failure, associated with a failure, or even admit that they have experienced failure.

The perception of being a failure can harm different parts of our society, from stock market prices to the power of a celebrity at the box office.  Being a winner is preferable to being a loser. Yet, it is a fact that sometimes we all lose.

However, if you spend a little time looking at the lessons that you learned over the expanse of your life, you probably learned a lot more from the losses you experienced than from any other teacher you have ever had.  Failure is not fun to experience, but learning to deal with it and rise above it is one of the most valuable tools you will ever acquire.

Failing Can Open Doors of Opportunity

Once you learn this lesson, no goal is too far from your

finding success in failure
But You May Find Inspiration

reach.  Once you take ownership of what has happened and recognize why you fell short, you can take steps to continue working to achieve that goal. Often your ultimate success was driven by that initial faltering attempt.

One of the best things about becoming involved in athletics as a child is learning how to overcome setbacks in a controlled environment, learning valuable life lessons safely. These lessons are directly applicable to life. You will not always get the job, sometimes there is criticism of your work, and you don’t always win.

If you keep striving to win, though, and you evaluate your shortcomings honestly, then a person can overcome almost any failure and find success in the end.  That success can extend to any part of your life.

Why Are We So Afraid?

Thomas Edison quote on failureIt seems like today and parents are so involved in their kids’ lives that often, children are not allowed the freedom to fail at anything.

Either because they never want their kids to feel bad, or the parents are living vicariously through the accomplishments of their young ones.

Either way, kids are often taught that everyone is a winner and participate in non-competitive games, which sends an unrealistic life lesson because life is not that way.

Life has a way of testing you and finding out what you are made of.  Life is a game that you can’t win, you can only play it, and a healthy part of it is that sometimes things will not work out for you.

I would think that if I had never understood this that the first time failure came to me, I might have a nervous breakdown and never recover.  Yet, the hope of accomplishment and greatness keeps people marching forward, despite the risks of failure and the pain involved in not getting what you want.

If you work toward a goal, then you will have an opportunity to achieve that goal.

Give It A Shot, Then At Least You Know

When it comes never to try, you will avoid experiencing this failure, but you will also never learn the lessons that failure inevitably teaches you.  All things are not accomplished quickly, but if we persevere, we can achieve almost anything.

failure is not final
Great thought!

Never trying is way worse than failure. You will never know your capabilities unless you test yourself.

You will never improve physically, mentally, or spiritually unless you push yourself a little.  When you push yourself, sometimes you fail.

Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back to it. Learning this lesson will be one of the valuable experiences you will have.  And at least you will know, definitively once and for all, what you are capable of.   You are a great human soul with unlimited potential and effort, and fearless acceptance of the consequences will take you there.

Which is worse, failing or never trying?

 

21

Accepting New Beginnings

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moving-on-doesnt-mean-you-forget-about-thingsThere is nothing as exciting as a new beginning.  Reading yesterday, I came across this theme that is often a problem for me and many others. Endings are hard.  All things in the history of the world have had a beginning, a middle, and an end. That is the way of all things.  Often, when the end is harsh, a lingering regret remains, which does not allow a person to let go and move forward. The item you can be sure of is that right now, whatever is happening in your life is changing in some way and moving closer to its inevitable end.  We should be grateful in many ways because, without endings, there would be no new beginnings.

Painful Endings

I have experienced some endings in the job world that have been very difficult and painful. Some have looked to the past with longing and wished I could go ending 3back to the security of that situation or the parts of the job that I enjoyed.  However, looking into the past only brought sadness and regret.  Like many endings, there is no way to move onto something else that perhaps will provide you with greater enjoyment and fulfillment current situation is ended.   Every new beginning comes from an ending of something.

Accepting this can be difficult if it involves a relationship or even death because the emotions around these events will never seem optimistic in any way.  Yet if you analyze the situation, there is a simple choice for you to accept what has happened and move on with your life or to refuse to accept it and live in a past of regret and unhappiness. The choice is always yours.

Tough Relationships

When it comes to relationships, imperfect endings can moving on 2provide you with the learning experiences needed to propel you toward the person who can fulfill your needs.  It is a matter of perspective. That relationship ended because it lacked in some way. There was something that wasn’t fulfilling or favorable for you.

If you knew that within a day,  the person who would fulfill every one of your needs was going to enter your life, would you be all that sad?

In effect, you are holding on to an unfulfilled past at the expense of a complete future.  We often lack the perspective we are in life right now, feeling pain and just trying to survive.  If we could rise above life and look down and observe our paths and the next steps in front of us, we would be much more accepting of the change.  All things in life are generally working toward your greatest good, and fear makes us address things any other way.

Hard Times

We are afraid of the hard times in life because they are not fun to go through, and they hurt and are painful. Yet without these moments of challenge, many people would lack the depth and character that will make them the people they are destined to be.  Perhaps a  perspective needed to be adjusted, or a belief required to be changed to reach their full potential.

Not everything in life will work out how you want it to, but it will give you something that you needed to know to reach your full potential.  It is a fact that no matter what situation you are currently in, it beginnings 4will pass one day and cease to exist. It may be in a day or many years, but even the hardest of times will end and fade into memory. They will leave scars, but those scars will help build the character that will allow you to be the best person you can be if you adhere to their lessons.

Endings can be painful, but there is an excitement of a new beginning that will provide each person with a glimmer of hope in their heart that a dream may come true because of this endeavor. A person will never know unless they dare to accept the ending and the strength to take the step into the future.

21

Creative

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Create-bring (something) into existence.

What is Creativity?

Create The ability to bring things into existence that previously didn’t exist is an awesome power and allows an individual to enjoy life and the experiences it brings. When you create, the energy produced is positive and contagious.  All people have a force in themselves that yearns to create. It could be to create paintings, writing, thought, woodwork, plays, songs, or any other of a billion different things. When you have a question about your direction in life, look to create, and it will guide you.  Raise your consciousness today by looking at how you create in thoughts, words, and actions.  (See Video)

The Concept of Creativity

The ability to create allows people to connect their mind, body, and spirit in one activity. Most religions see creativity as a gift from God, and to use that gift will honor all involved. The result doesn’t matter, and it is the process of bringing something into existence that

Createpreviously didn’t exist that is powerful, memorable, and self-supportive.  There is a creator in all of us looking for a way out, and that can only come through making the conscious choice to free our creativity.

Choosing to let your ability to create lie dormant will decrease the enjoyment you have in life. Creativity is a joy we give to ourselves and the world. Try not to waste that gift, and you never know what your creations might lead to. Fame? Fortune? Connections? Whatever it is, the world will be better for it. Your method and inventions may open ideas for others and solve problems in ways you never thought of before.

Characteristics of Creativity

There are several simple things a person can do to create more easily. One of the most effective is to read. Find books that challenge you and teach you something. A mind that expands will never regress again.  Once you become aware of new thoughts in your existence, they often lead you to creative action. The more depth in your knowledge, the bigger the field of creativity you have to play on.  Read, think, expand your mind, Createand read again.

Never be afraid to lose yourself in a task of creativity. When the time doesn’t matter, and you are focused on the creation. It is in these moments that we find the answers to who we are.  The concentration is away from the chatter of thoughts existing in our minds, creating something that never existed before. You are this powerful creator. Once the channel is open, higher and grander creative forces will build in you.  Find out where your creative limits lie if you have any!

Today raise your awareness of what you are creating in all areas of your life. In your thoughts, think of what you would like to develop and how you will bring it into reality. In your words, look for ways to express your desire to create and encourage that desire in others.  In your actions, create something.  Make time to do this today.  The desire to develop connects you to your soul and allows you to enjoy the experience of life. Paint, write, sculpt, build, dance, act, sing, play, do what your soul guides you to do, and answers will come to you.

Concepts of Creativity

Every soul has the power to create something that can only come from them, so find it and create it and release it to the world. It is your duty to live.

If, at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it. ~Albert Einstein

Creativity requires the courage to let go of certainties. ~Erich Fromm

The chief enemy of creativity is good sense. ~Pablo Picasso

There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life. ~Sophia Loren

An essential aspect of creativity is not being afraid to fail. ~Edwin Land

Creativity is never a waste of time !!

 

21

Motivational

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Motivational thoughts
When life gets you down, take action.

Motivational Thoughts

If you are feeling like you are stuck in a rut or that life doesn’t offer you any real surprises on your journey, you need some motivational thoughts to inspire you.  You can choose to do things that will allow you to feel a sense of wonder again and help you get a little more enjoyment in your life.

Some thoughts to start with

  1. Make a list of six things you could do this evening.  Then roll a dice and let the fates decide your activity!
  2. Find somebody else on the Internet with the same name as you, get in touch and try to make a new friend. There are a lot of people with the same name and a different story. See what happens.
  3. Visit Wikipedia and click the “Random Article” link on the left-hand side.  Get lost in the site for an hour, discovering worlds you never knew existed.  If the article talks about a place nearby, drive there.
  4. Decide to say “Yes!” to everything for a month, a week, or even just for a day.  See what doors open for you!
  5. Open an atlas, close your eyes, and randomly stab your finger anywhere on the page.  Decide to go there for your next vacation. Or at least spend a half hour learning all you can about that region of the world.
  6. Join an internet dating site, and remember what it feels like to flirt a little! If you are already happy in your relationship, do something spontaneous together and remember why you love each other.
  7. Lookup and hook up with old friends from school or somewhere in your past. That may spark some motivational thoughts that could reenergize your life and reality. Those who knew you in the past remind you of things you haven’t thought about in a long time, and some of these things will help you.
  8. Buy an item of food from the supermarket you would never usually purchase.  Indulge! Change! Be different, and that may start to get you out of your rut.

Some more Motivational thoughts for your day

  1.  Send a random “Hello!” text message to the person with the cell number one digit up and down from you.

  2.  Get to know our neighbors. We live in a society that is so afraid that they keep to themselves. Meet some of the great people right in your living space.

  3. Decide to “play” today.  Go to the seaside, enjoy a little bowling, play a board game with family, go outside, enjoy a walk, move!!

  4. Be mischievous.  Play a prank, and don’t worry about getting caught! There are many jokes that you can do tastefully and respectfully. Be sure that the person you are pranking or joking with is acceptable to that kind of interaction.

  5. Enjoy a leisurely meal with your loved ones…..share the preparation of the meal…..enjoy the time together. Celebrate your loved ones by creating a family journal of photos,

  6. Celebrate your loved ones by creating a family journal of photos, notes, and special memories.

  7. Spend time walking in an inspiring natural location with a friend you haven’t seen for a while.  Enjoy conversing with your friend – listen to their insights and share some of yours.

  8. Go for a 20-minute power walk to clear your mind, boost your circulation and improve your energy levels.

  9. Buy 12 life-enhancing books and read one a month.

  10. Try a completely new activity, something you haven’t done before, and enjoy the adventure of learning something new.

  11. Sit under a tree for an hour or three and do nothing.  Listen to the sound of nature’s voice.  Enjoy the stillness of being in the moment

  12. Do something nice for someone you don’t know and do it anonymously.  You feel good factor will soar as a result of our kindness.

  13. Join a dance class. Go wild, have fun and enjoy the freedom of moving to the music.  Try a local five rhythms class if you prefer spiritual over disco or salsa.

  14. Spend a night stargazing.  You cannot fail to be awe-inspired by the magical, vast universe that is out there.

  15. Rekindle old friendships…spend a day catching up and enjoying the company of old friends

  16. Go out to the nearest city to make one new friend.  Strike up random conversations, visit coffee shops and libraries, and see where the day takes you.

Bonus Motivational thoughts

  1. Be creative: take a pottery class: learn how to paint with oils: try basket weaving. Do something creative that allows you to connect with the natural power within us all.

  2. Do something spontaneous and for no reason at all, just for the sake of improving your motivational thoughts. There doesn’t have to be a reason behind everything you do.

  3. visit a nearby comedy club and enjoy some always enjoyable laughter.

  4. Anything else you can think of that will spice up your existence and allow you to stay out of a rut. Change is the key to motivational thoughts.

Take a moment and give these inspirational thoughts some consideration today. You don’t have to try them all, but doing just one will allow you to add some excitement back into your life.  Motivational thoughts will indeed lead to motivational actions.

21

Reading For Life

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Positive Thought Project

Read~  look at and comprehend the meaning of (written or printed matter) by mentally interpreting the characters or symbols it is composed.

readAll of us are given a mind, and it is up to us and the choices we make to expand the abilities of this tool, or we let it wilt away over time.  The ability to read is probably the most powerful skill a person can master. Not only does it improve your imagination and comprehension, but you also can learn anything at all a book can provide to you.  This relationship to information is far more personal than learning through listening or watching. Reading is an all-encompassing experience with the knowledge that you are dealing with.  To take advantage of this, all you have to do is make an effort to find sources with the information you are interested in and read it.  It all begins with a conscious awareness of making an effort to read each day. To read becomes a focus in your thoughts, words, and actions that will change your life for the better. (video)

Exercise for the Brain

Of all the skills I have amassed in life, I didn’t realize how lucky I was to be literate at some level since I was very young.  Books were a way to entertain and stir my imagination, but the real power of reading and books is that they allow your mind to become better, digest, and become one with the readinformation you read.  It is a close and personal relationship that you develop with books you read, and the thoughts they provoke become a part of you.  There is no more significant life changer that I have found.

Reading allows your mind to develop like a finely tuned athlete.  The more you work, the more it can digest and the better you retain information.  That is how it worked for me. So even if it is a brief period, spend some time every day reading.  It can be just for a couple of minutes, but do it and allow the reading process to work inside your mind. The person who will benefit is you and build your abilities to think and achieve in the world.

Expanded Minds Never Shrink

Once you choose to read and learn, there is no going back. Once a new idea is introduced, the mind expands. It weighs the merits, values, and read beliefs involved in the concept.  What can we take from this? Is this true? How does this jibe with previous experience?  What does this explain?  This process is always happening to the person who reads thought-provoking works.  Find books that make you think, read them and let the magic happen.  At first, it can be challenging to digest new information that changes your paradigms.  We are creatures of habit, and change can be difficult even for the most enlightened. But change defines life, and I choose life.

Once a mind starts to grow and honestly evaluate information, a person has the tools to do more, think more, and become more in life. Enjoying life is a process that comes with natural growth, and reading enhances that. The expanded mind is never going to shrink again. Once you have seen the light, you will not move back into the darkness.  Read today, read tomorrow and read every day.

Diet of Reading is Important

Different books are going to resonate with other people, just like people enjoy different types of music. But remember that the kind of books you read is going to affect the development of your brain.  If you eat nothing but readjunk food, you can live, but you won’t be as healthy as you could be. The same is true of books. Reading works of low thought and little value will help your imagination, but you can’t expect to develop to your best if you are not feeding your mind a well-balanced, healthy diet of words.

It starts with what you are interested in and what you want to accomplish. Whatever that is, there is a book with insight into how to complete a task, create a particular business, or improve skill; You can find it all in a book.  If you choose to spend your time reading cheap romance novels or negative stories fraught with violence, then this will impact your life that way.  The quality of the ingredients used will dictate the value of and the enjoyment of the meal.

So be conscious today and aware of making time to read and reading essential things which will expand your mind and increase your abilities. It is all out there for you to do. You just have to make an effort. It all starts with your thoughts, words, and actions today!!

“It is what you read when you don’t have to that determines what you will be when you can’t help it.” ― Oscar Wilde.

“Reading is an exercise in empathy; an exercise in walking in someone else’s shoes for a while.” —Malorie Blackman.

“Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body.” —Joseph Addison

“Reading—the best state yet to keep absolute loneliness at bay.” —William Styron

“A book is a dream you hold in your hands.” —Neil Gaiman

 

21

Believing it

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my mind works overtime, sometimes
my mind works overtime, sometimes

 

I developed a post about my core beliefs a few years ago. Since then, I have experienced a lot, but, remarkably, so much of what I believed has stood up to the test of time.

These personal beliefs are ever-evolving, but this is where they stand right now.

All People are Connected

Call it God, the Universe, or whatever your religion dictates, but to me, we are all connected through a divine order.  All people contain the same abilities for great love and an equal capacity for evil.   I believe that the perceived separateness of the world leads to many of the problems we face in religion, race, age, sexuality, or any other label we can apply to each other. Just as many drops fall together to make the ocean, we are all unique pieces of the whole. The more we recognize the same, the more understanding and kindness we can show each other, and the better the world will be.

Practice kindness with all people because you are a few circumstances away from being exactly in their shoes.

Your Actions Define Who YOU Are

Talk is cheap. What you do is the definition of your character.  I have heard the soft and sympathetic words that were worth absolutely nothing but have been blessed by the actions of many great people.  Saying you are something means nothing. Being that thing means everything.

Taking action is the catalyst to all achievements, great and small. Having the courage to go, stay, jump, start, stop, begin again, love, share, understand, give, etc. It is the beginning of anything and will lead you to understand who you are and find your place in the world.

Live in the Moment, and it is all you have

It seems like I have wasted a lot of time, feeling wrong about the past and the things I can never change or worrying about the future and the things that most likely will never come.  When I can live in the moment, I find peace, motivation, enjoyment, love, etc.

Being in the moment and being grateful for all that exists with you at that time is a great recipe for happiness. Plan the best you can through goal setting and dreams but understand that you can’t control everything, and sometimes the things that happen, which seem unwanted, provide unforeseen growth and understanding. They catapult us into places we wouldn’t have thought to go.

Thinking Positively Leads to a Happier Life

“Bad” stuff happens to everyone at some point in life. How you deal with it is essential.  Life is full of things that you define as good or bad. Describing them as positives allows you to enjoy life more, be healthier, and support those you love. At the same time, negative thinking is defeatist and will supply you with the exact opposite.

How you choose to perceive anything will determine the overall value it provides to your experience of life. All things have the potential to work for good. Your mental state will determine how much interest they provide your life if any.

Positive thinking does not ignore the negative, and it should put it into a perspective of positive, as best that you can. It also doesn’t mean that you accept the poor behavior of others. It means that you do not choose to let poor behavior negatively influence you. I can’t control the behavior and choices of others, only the choices that I make. That is it. I try to do better than I did yesterday. That is all I can do.

All People Have Value

Sometimes, this is difficult to remember when I am angry or hurt, but that doesn’t change my belief.  People live differently, make poor decisions, and look differently, but inside they are all valuable. Every person that you meet knows something that you don’t, and that is the thing that is one of the many values of meeting new people.

All that separates any of us from the circumstances of another is mere chance.  At our core, we are all beings of love. Keep this in mind and be patient with others. There are always thousands of unseen reasons that lead to behavior. Don’t be quick to judge a story by the one short chapter you see. Read the whole book so that you can understand things in context.

Dreaming is Vitally Important

Every person that has ever been born has had a dream of some kind. There are no exceptions.  Life has a way of making many of us forget these dreams as we are swept up in living from day to day and the years drift past us.

Dreams of being a musician, a painter, a doctor, an astronaut, a professional athlete, or any other dream you might have had are a good thing.  Dreams help us to set our intentions for our actions. It is never too late to pursue a dream, and whether the dream is completed or not, the journey will be the valuable part that makes you who you are.

When a person takes action, they can make their dream come true.  That action will lead to a result of success or failure. Failure is not an ending, and it is the roadmap to finding another way to find success. Action toward your dream is the only way that you will know what works.

Gratitude is the Right Attitude

Being grateful for what you have in life leads to appreciation. Rather than looking for something else you don’t have for comfort or happiness, look at what you do have and be grateful for it.

There are many benefits that gratitude will bring to life, but happiness and enjoyment are two of the best. Remember that those you love and who love you are the greatest gifts and should never be taken for granted, be grateful for them.

Forgiveness is Necessary to Move Forward

Who hasn’t been hurt? Let down? We all have issues with others, and we all have a choice, be angry or forgive them. Forgiveness is a tonic that will allow you to be free. It isn’t condoning or approving of the behavior of others, but it is an acceptance of what has happened and making a choice not to let the power of that event rule you.

To forgive someone for something they did that harmed you is very difficult. It can’t just be lip service of saying that they are ignored. It has to be inside your heart.  The only one who can give forgiveness is you, and the sooner you give it, the sooner you can move on.  Letting go of pain, sadness, anger, or any other negative emotion is key to enjoying life.

I read somewhere that you know that someone is forgiven when you think of them, and there is no subtle searing inside your heart.  It can take a conscious effort, but with forgiveness comes freedom and strength.

Embrace Love, Avoid Fear

All people carry this choice inside of them. The one you pay attention to will determine the experience of your life.  Focus on the love-based emotions of kindness, understanding, generosity, acceptance, patience, and love while avoiding the fear-based emotions and thoughts of anger, hate, separation, jealousy, stereotyping, and judgment. It can be harder to do than it sounds, but the effort is well worth it.  Our experience is primarily the result of this continual decision. Fear or love?

 

21

Your Path

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Finding your path is not always this easy.
Finding your path is not always this easy.

Life is a beautiful thing. It is destined to surprise you and lead you to places that you anticipated.  I believe much of the enjoyment of life comes directly from inside of you and how you perceive the people you meet and the experiences you have.

Sometimes early in the journey of life, you may find life a confusing jumble of mixed messages and emotions. Even the greatest adventurer or psychic would struggle to smooth out the details and work through the challenges faced.  Nobody ever said that life would be easy, but in the end, it has the potential to be the most rewarding journey imaginable.

Living in the Madness Without Going Mad

madnessOften the world seems like a crazy place.  There are bad things all around us that are mad. There is a crime, injustice, hunger, disease in the world that seems overwhelming to the humanity of anyone. Combine that with the everyday callousness of people, and it can be easy for those with a tender heart or spirit to feel discouraged and even crushed trying to figure out where they fit in. How can they make a difference?

With all types of people and personalities in this world, nobody should feel all alone. If you feel like you don’t fit in with the people you encounter, it is time to start meeting other people.  If you continually feel out of place with the ones you see, the problem may not be you. It may be them.

Life will steer you in the direction that you should be moving in. Sometimes you will resist because you think you know best, but life is always proper in the end.  Find your group where you do fit in. You may have to look a bit further away than the people you meet, but nobody is alone in the world. Some intellectuals are contemplating the very questions you are and merely need to be reached out to find the comfort you seek to be happy.

The Danger of Reaching Out

If you don't reach out, you will never know what is out there.
If you don’t reach out, you will never know what is out there.

It is scary to reach out, especially at first.  This is where you have to be brave and realize that only by reaching out can you connect with like-minded people like you. In today’s world, it has never been easier. There are all sorts of social networks available for all adventurers.  WordPress is best for writers and deep thinkers, I believe.  It is the most supportive and kind community I have ever encountered. There is Facebook, Instagram, and even Twitter communities to search for as well.

When I started to reach out to like-minded people, I was petrified that nobody would understand me. Some might not have, but most people got it.  Developing relationships is sharing ideas and thoughts about how this ride of life should work out.  One thing I know without a doubt, if you don’t reach out, you may never find those who are on a similar journey, and isolation is the result of that choice.

Embrace the Enigma of Yourself

enigmaWe all feel like we are a mystery to the world. If people could only see inside us, we would magically be embraced by the masses and be held up as an example of the caring, loving kindness we naturally are.  However, in most social situations, that’s not going to be the case.

Why should the world see into the inner workings of your mind? Why would you want them to? You would be setting yourself up for unneeded and unwarranted criticism of your ideas and what you stand for.  Embrace the enigma that you present to the world. Like a great book, life saves its most exciting and stomach whirling experiences for the later chapters.  They are fun to read because they keep you guessing, making you an exciting and unique individual.

Early in life, this can seem not very clear and make you question yourself.  You are immersed in the game of life, so it isn’t easy to see the moves coming five or ten or fifteen years down the road.  Perhaps it is not others that view you as an enigma; maybe it is you. Embrace your mystery, and there is no more exciting journey to go on than to find out who exactly you are.

You are not Invisible.

Everyone feels invisible sometimes.  Does the world ever see us? The real us?  I am not sure, but I know that often this feeling can be disturbing.  I have a mind with great thoughts. Why doesn’t anyone notice?  The answer is they do see.   How often do you notice the minds and opinions of others?

All relationships, from long-time friendships to people you meet each day, are two-way streets.  The give and a take make relationships work.   Some relationships last a lifetime, and some only for a season.  All come into your life for a reason, usually to teach you something. Be open to the lessons.

Isolation is not The End Game.

isolationWhen you have tried to connect and fit in, at some point, you might want to throw up your hands and give it all up, move to an island and live by yourself.  This is not a good option, not because you need the world (you do), but because the world needs you. There is no way that you can know or begin to understand the impact you will have in the future.

Living in isolation will feel safe, but the problem is that you have no others to help balance your thoughts.  You only see the world through your window and interpret it with your own bias and judgment.  Intellectually, creatively it isn’t easy to grow and move forward when you close yourself off from the world.

Find your Path

When you feel this way, like giving up on others, you are fighting against life. It is time to start moving with it.  This can seem impossible, but it isn’t. People do it every day. I have done it.  This is what has helped me.

  1. meditate. If you can learn to quiet the mind, you will find that the ego supplies you with all sorts of criticism you do not deserve. It is challenging to be positive if your ego is destroying your self-confidence daily.

  2. Be creative. Whatever you do, write, paint, draw, sing, play the xylophone, whatever you do, do it for a bit, and you often will find your answer.

  3. Read information about your problem. This may seem simplistic, but it works.  There is no problem of humanity that you are experiencing for the first time. Someone somewhere has experienced what you are and deal with it effectively.  Learn from the mistakes and triumphs of others.

  4. Be positive. There is no way to achieve or grow if you enter into a negative mind and stay there.  If you do that, the odds of finding a positive solution are impossible.  If you are positive then anything is possible. ANYTHING!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R74shUIiSIY&feature=youtu.be

 

21

Wishes

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What do you wish you spent more time doing Ten years ago?

Five years ago, life was very different.
Five years ago, life was very different.

Ten years bring many life changes. I have changed jobs a few times, moved to new locations, and changed my entire outlook on life.

Looking back,  it is kind of amazing that so many experiences came to me in the short period of a few years.

Now, like most people looking through the lens of experience, there are many things I wish that I had been doing earlier in my life. But all is a process, and you have to follow them step by step. What seems like wasted time is really time to learn.  A few of these lessons follow.

I Don’t Think I Thought Enough.

positive-thinkingOne of the things that I really wish I spent more time doing was thinking.  Not the egoic thoughts of judgment and criticism, I had plenty of those, but time spent contemplating the wonder of life and how to live it and be happy doing it.

I spent way too many years just assuming that I knew the answers when I really wasn’t even aware of the right questions.  It is an inevitable part of the aging process that when you reach the 40’s you start to reevaluate your thoughts, and you start to see through the cracks quite clearly because you are just not happy even though you did all that you were supposed to do.

However, I am also wise enough to know that I couldn’t have possibly spent more time thinking five years ago because I was not ready to absorb the lessons life had for me.  In time, I can only hope that I am a willing receiver and am moving my thoughts in the right direction—kindness, acceptance, and understanding.

Understanding  Friendship Better

pravs-j-hold-on-to-friendshipFriendship is a two-way street, and I was the kind of person five years ago who thought I had many friends.  I had a lot of acquaintances with whom I shared a job or an interest in golf but very few friends.  I wish that I had invested more time in developing those relationships on my part.

When hard times come, you find out who you can count on and whom you can’t.  I don’t blame anyone but myself for this realization.  I think I just expected friendships to continue without any real investment on my part.  Since all relationships are two-way streets, I have to conclude that the disappearance of so many in a time of crisis has to reflect my own contribution to those relationships.

I should have been investing more into those relationships a long time ago.  There are many people I miss. Those who I laughed with sharing a joke over lunch, or just in passing jest. The loss highlights my failure as a friend was a significant shortcoming.  I, of course, would never value friendship as much as I do today if I hadn’t had that experience.  The friends I make in life, and the world are all so very cherished by me. Any person who cares enough about me to invest interest and time is indescribably valued.   Sometimes it is lessons learned the hard way that lasts.

Not Doing It Alone

It is OK to accept a helping hand once in awhile and to give one as well.
It is OK to accept a helping hand once in a while and to give one as well.

There are some dark and difficult times in all lives, and mine was the darkest and most difficult seven years ago.  There is little value in getting into the details because they don’t matter much.  But I was in dire need of help then but did all that I could to avoid getting it.  I pushed away those who cared about me so that my depression and problems wouldn’t “bother” their lives.  I suffered in silence, and the keyword here is suffered.

Suffering is a part of life, but it can be made much less difficult if you don’t choose to suffer all alone.  There were plenty of people willing to help, but when you are in a hole, you don’t see the value.  At least not until long after the need for help is imminent.  I should have asked for help and allowed others to help me. I did not.

This was a valuable lesson for me though I think as I read things people post about struggles that they are having, I am glad to offer support and encouragement to them because they may, in fact, be in a hole of their own if they need help in how to get out. Hopefully, they know to ask.  I may not know the answer, but I will attempt to help.

Ten years have brought a lot of change. I had never written a significant word of any kind in my entire life, I had never heard of a blog, and I was shoulder deep in negative, self-defeating thoughts.  It has been an interesting time period. Any wish to do anything differently is really just a wasted thought because all experiences are a gift that provided the life lessons to become a better person, and for that, I am grateful.