All posts by Jonathan Hilton

21

Question Everything

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questioneverythingThe ability to question things is one of the greatest gifts that people are given.  It is not a skill that I developed until recently in life, but I think it should be one that our society encourages in all people, everywhere, all the time.

Why We Don’t Question Anything

For much of my life, I was conditioned to accept what authority symbols in my life told me.  Our parents started us off by giving us the rules of how we were supposed to behave. They passed the baton of behavioral instruction to teachers and religious Philo albertorganizations, who managed to move me toward a fear-based existence.   “Do what we say, or you are wrong.”  That was the mantra of society.   

You learned young that if you questioned something, you would pay the price of being evaluated poorly, a knock to self-esteem, and it was apparent conditioning, find the answers and speak the ideas you were told were right.

That would be followed by praise and reward.  This is easily transferable to the media and popular culture.  We don’t question easily because we were taught that the repercussions of asking questions were most likely going to be painful and harmful to a young mind.  So it is natural that we never question anything.

Main Stream Media Brainwash

We were taught through this process to believe what our authority sources tell us. As adults, we transfer that quite easily into listening to what the government tells us or, even worse, into what the media tells us to think about the government.

Our ability to reason and judge things based on their merit seems to be gone the way of the eight-track tape player.  I hope I am I_have_just_as_much_authority_as_the_pope._George_Carlinwrong, but there seems to be a strict and consistent idea of what questions it is OK to ask and which ones it is not.

We have been involved in a military conflict for a decade, yet nobody questions why?  If they do, they have to face questions about their judgment, patriotism, political leanings, and character flaws. It is our right as human beings living on the earth to question everything.

Why Questions are So Important

Without the ability to question things, it will be very slow in coming when change is needed.  The history of humanity is littered with examples of practices that society told people were good for them, that weren’t or were just plain wrong. These practices needed to be changed for the health of a person or a society. People believed that regular bathing was unhealthy, the world was flat, and the Earth was the center of the universe.  Not to mention the accepted racial attitudes plaguing society of just fifty to a hundred years ago.  Question everything that comes into your life because simply taking something perpetuates unfair and unjust practices.

I am grateful today that I live in a world where you can ask questions.  With each question asked, the world moves closer to finding an answer to solve its problems.  I hope that more and more people will take the time to listen mindfully and honestly look at their own beliefs.

21

Your Time

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If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

accomplish motivations
You Can Do It Now!

There are two ways to go with this answer, and you can say: “If something hasn’t happened yet, then it is not ever going to happen.”  This will lead to losing the few strands of hope you have left for accomplishing the task you dream about.

Or the other answer can be: “The time must be ripe for whatever it is that you have brewing and dream of achieving, and the only thing you have to lose is more time passing before you achieve whatever it is you want to accomplish.”  Thus leading to the achievement of your dreams.  I don’t know about you but the second one sounds better to me.

THE TIME IS NOW!

I believe that there is no time right now to do whatever you have been thinking of achieving.  This doesn’t mean that you have to do it all today, but start moving in that direction, and you will be surprised where you may end up as you approach your goals.

There may be seemingly insurmountable obstacles in your path, but even the tallest mountain can only be crossed by taking initial steps. That is the way of the world, and if you long to achieve something, you can do it.

When you look at the part of the question yet, it would seem to indicate that you have

It won't work out
We all have that voice in our heads. Trust yourself.

been thinking of doing something for a long time, maybe it seems financially unrealistic, or seems to take away from your family time, or some other reason.

There will always be a reason if you want to avoid accomplishment. There are lots of people who have accomplished great things after a lot of struggle.

Historically speaking, you can find many who persevered and contributed much to the world at a much more significant age. Leanardo da Vinci was drawing significant sketches as he enjoyed his sixties, Michelangelo created sculptures of great talent in his eighties, Winston Churchill traveled the world and contributed to society right up until his death at the age of ninety. Leo Tolstoy wrote novels as his seventies rolled by.  So it has been proven that it is never too late to achieve anything.

Picture Your Success

success will come to you
Well, what would you do?

The most important factor to hold on to when you are seeking achievement is that you have a clear picture of what you want to accomplish, then the path will open up to you as you investigate how to make this thing happen.

Often it is not the destination but the journey that provides the most fertile ground for growth and contentment, and if you never get started, you will never experience any of it.

All it seems that you have to lose is the regret of never knowing if you could have achieved your goal or desire or not. How many people go to their graves with regrets about what they never tried? How many allowed a failure or twenty-nine failures or a hundred failures to stop them from learning and accomplishing what they might accomplish if they only tried just one more time.  I think that in the end, there is nothing to lose, except doubt and regret.

If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

No Regrets!!!

 

21

Following Your Compass

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When you stop and look at where you are in your life and the people you are currently involved with, the biggest factor determining all of this is the values you follow and adhere to in your life. As the late great Zig Ziglar said;

“You are who you are and what you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change who you are and what you are by changing what goes into your mind.”

Our own personal system of values determines the mode of input for all of us.  For every problem I have faced or challenges that arose, the success I have had with it has stemmed from the character I displayed through my values. There have been times in life where my value system was a little murky. That led to questionable behavior and less than ideal results.  That is the compass we all follow, which leads us to the destination in our lives. Where is your compass leading you? Where would you like it to take you?  Your values will reveal these answers. It is as simple as that.

Values

What are your values? A value is a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life.  They can be positive or negative or anywhere along thatscontinuum. When I look at myself, Honesty, integrity, compassion, work ethic, independence, learning, kindness, and reliability are all positive values I apply to my behavior.  Since I have placed my focus on these things, life flows quite easily in that direction.

Your behavior is the true measure of your values. If you take what isn’t yours, you are not honest. If you bully someone else into making yourself feel better, then you are a bully. If you have no compassion for those in difficult situations, that tells everything about your life. Values will color all of your experiences with the brush of those questionable values. And when you are sitting there in anger and frustration because things are not working out for you, you have no one to blame but yourself and the negative values you have adopted.

If you don’t like your life, start by changing the values you focus on and practice.

Where Values Come From 

As little humans, we are each trying to figure out what this world is all about from the moment we are born. We are continually taking in information based on the behaviors and reactions of all the people we contact.  This stage lasts the first seven years of life, and during that time, our moral compass is passed on to us by the observed behavior and direct experience with others. Parental figures are the biggest influence, but so is everyone else you come in contact with.

We do not realize it at first, and some never realize it, but we are all responsible for our choices in life and the values we practice in all situations.  Just because we were born into a situation where poor values were practiced is not an excuse. You decide for yourself where your ethics and morality lie. If you choose to be unethical, you are responsible for that and the things which result from that effort.

Your Compass Bearings

When we look at the trajectory of our lives, it is easy to blame others, bad luck, the government, nature, or any factor that exists. Many of the things outside us we have no control over.  We can control the decisions we make around the values and morals we prioritize in our lives.  Our compass bearings are created from this.  There is no more accurate predictor of where that compass is going to take someone than personal values.

We are wholly responsible for the outcomes of our lives, and the more we take that, the better your life experience will seem. Life seems to bring us to the places we show appreciation for, and we show this appreciation through our values and the importance we place on them.

Today is a great time to reflect on your personal system of values and seek places you would like to tweak them in a direction in line with your ideal self. You will define this one way or another.  Please pay attention to the bearings of your compass of values and what they are telling you about life.

Some quotes on Values:

“When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier.” Roy E. Disney

 “Our value is the sum of our values.” Joe Batten

 “If you don’t stick to your values when they are being tested, they’re not values, they’re hobbies.” Job Stewart

“Good moral values are mostly molded from a place where love, faith, and hope exist.” Arsenio V. Manalo Jr

Life

What Love Has To Do With It

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Coffee Talk is this good for thought
Coffee Talk is this good for thought.

One of the great experiences I have been able to have is to be able to write a lot of great things at my favorite coffee shop. One of the perks (no pun intended) has been to become friends with the people who work so hard to keep my coffee hot and flowing as I worked my way through many different writing projects. These people don’t know it, but their conversations with me provide a lot of writing topics.  One of the most common

Young people love to be in Love.
Young people love to be in Love.

themes that they discuss is love.

Most of the people I am listening to are less than half my age, so I incline to roll my eyes and think that they don’t know what they are talking about. But on further review,  listening to the hopes and dreams from a young person’s perspective of love, there is a hope that comes back to me. I think that I have forgotten or, better yet, looked past what it means to be in love.

What did I forget? The feeling of love when it is new. As I have gotten older, that feeling is either something that I don’t think is possible or fear because I know the pain of being hurt. Great beginnings become painful endings. The possibility of that pain becomes too much sometimes.

Through that lens, it is difficult not to feel people are

How I often feel about love
How I often feel about love

being unrealistic when they are 20 and say that they are so in love and will spend the rest of their lives together.  The first inclination is to tell them they don’t understand how long life is or how much they will change in the next five years, let alone the next twenty. Then again, who am I to advise like I am the expert on love? I am clearly not.

The discussions around this topic, though, have reminded me of the times my mind was affected by love.  We discussed how you live to hear the voice of the one you love and will talk with them all the time because they make your heart go “pitter, pat.”  The happiness that comes just from being with them, and that nothing else and no one else in the world really matters.  Just you and the one you love. Paradise!

Every person in people’s history has been there before, and the heights of love make life all that more enjoyable. Food tastes better, experiences are more fun, and that person enhances the ability to grow because you want to become more for them.  That is a view of love that a younger person has, and an older person forgets because they know the other side of the experience.

There is a dark side to love for that high that comes when a person has no idea about the potential pain.

Who hasn't felt like this?
Who hasn’t felt like this?

When that love is taken or dies on its own, deep, dark soul building moments of sharp pain and emptiness, where you are so empty because you realize that what is left inside you is a vast space with nothing to fill it, the love is gone, and you can’t replace that hurt with someone else or something else, although you may try.

The scars that are left by this experience will teach you a lesson, and often the simple solution to this problem is to shut yourself off and don’t allow that power of love to enter into your life again. Control how you feel, and don’t let anyone close who might be able to bring out these emotions grow inside of you again.  That has been my life for a long time.

Here is one person who is not too stubborn to learn from the young people in the world when it is appropriate. There is a heart in all of us that deserves to be loved and to experience love. It should seek the happy, giddy, and unbridled enjoyment of being with someone else, being “crazy” about them, and enjoying the experience of being in love and being less afraid of the experience.

So I urge you all to reach for it, open up for it, and to seek love without fear and to invite it into your life and let yourself have love as idealistic as your heart belongs to a young person. Force someone else to roll their eyes at you each day because you are clearly so in love.

If love isn’t a part of your life then, what is the point of it all? If you have love in your life, nurture it and deliver empathy to the one you love always. Never take it for granted because it doesn’t happen all the time. Treasure the love that you have and the experience of being in love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

21

One and Only

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How fortunate are we to meet new people in life. I wanted to share this poem by James T. Moore, which exemplifies what I feel about our power and ability to contribute to the world. We are unique, surprising and can do almost anything if we set our minds to it.

It is easy to let our negative thoughts drive our lives. Thinking things like, I am not special, I have no talent, or with so many people in the world, everything has already been done. There will always be someone better than me, or a thousand variations of these thoughts, which accomplish nothing but defeating your greatness.  I think the most significant people are the ones who put aside what the world thought about them and did what they felt called to do.  What are you called to do?  What is the power you should be developing?  What is the gift you have that once shared with light-up your part of the world?  Only you can answer that question, but please, explain it before it is too late.

One and Only You

Every single blade of grass, 

And every flake of snow—–

Is just a wee bit different…..

There’s no two alike, you know. 

From something small, like grains of sand, 

To each gigantic star

All were made with THIS in mind:

To be just what they are!

How foolish then, to imitate—-

How useless to pretend!

Since each of us comes from a MIND

Whose ideas never end. 

There’ll only be just ONE of ME

To show what I can do—

And you should likewise feel very proud,

Thoe’s only ONE of YOU!

That is where it all starts

with you, a wonderful

unlimited human being. 

James T. Moore

Our world seems to want to push everyone into uniform existence. As if our unique thought or a different way of doing something is a threat to others. If you live according to these standards, you will never venture out into uncharted waters, never see the power in yourself.  You will exist from birth to death within the confines of the box society gave you.  The world is a much more exciting place when all people break out of that box and contribute to what they are.  Would you please avoid the false positive of general acceptance and popularity and seek recognition within yourself? That is where your uniqueness lives.

 

21

Nothing to Fear

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FEAR ME

fear 1“I am afraid. ” There I said it, I admit it. Now the challenge is for you reading this look at yourself and sees how true that statement is for you.

Fear is so ingrained in our society that sometimes it is difficult even to recognize it anymore; if you are like me, it is time for you to get onto the common ground with your fear and face it. 

What is Fear?

This is the feeling that something or someone will cause us harm, resulting in pain and suffering.  It begins from the time we are small children as adults in our lives try to warn us against the damage the world can cause.  It has its place in the learning curve because otherwise, kids would walk in traffic, set the house on fire, and do all kinds of harmful things.

So what’s the problem? Fear becomes more than this. Fear is the root of all evil. All of the negative emotions of the world stem off from worry. Hate, anger, jealousy, judgment all come from fear-based beliefs and all-cause irreparable pain.

Can Fear be Good?

fear lightSome people believe that fear supplied in a small dose can be a motivating factor for some people. I think that is initially true; however, it is not a successful nor long-term solution. What are you trying to motivate yourself to do?  Fear may get you there once, but what then? Is it going to take something even scarier to get you to reach further?

The best motivator is creation.  A person working from fear will work hard as long as the threat is behind them; they will let up when removed.  The person who is working for the motivation to be creative will persist until the invention comes into reality, Regardless of factors surrounding them.  Fear will keep you from walking out into traffic, but common sense does that as well.

Fear Control

patriot actIt has become commonplace for leaders to use fear as a mechanism for control.  Leaders learned long ago that having a common enemy would hide their faults and even help push their agendas.  After 9-11, there was an intense fear of terrorists, which justified many bad things.  Constitutional rights were wiped away by the Patriot Act; there only had to be the suspicion of wrongdoing, and all that our Constitution stood for disappeared. Why? Because of fear?

Media Fear Is Worst

The most prominent proponent of fear is the mainstream media. They have learned that if they talk incessantly about things that might hurt you, then ratings go up. It is sickening.  About a year ago, I implemented my boycott on all mainstream media news.  I haven’t missed a news story, and I am less afraid that the person in the car next to me will take drugs, jump out the window, smash my windows in with a baseball bat and try to kill me. media fearSo I think it worked out ok.

Sadly Fear Sells

In all seriousness, fear is us to sell everything from acne treatments to life insurance.  I refuse to buy anything marketed through fear. I refuse to be afraid of stuff that doesn’t make sense.  Otherwise, we end up locked in our homes, fearful of every sound.  Can something happen? Of course, it can. That is life.  Being afraid only makes you miserable.  Buy what you need, not what you are worried you might need.

Fearfully The End

urlIn closing, I will say this, in the beginning, I stated that I am afraid, and I do have a bit of fear, and this is the most significant one to get rid of, that is a fear about yourself.  We all have a fear of failure to some degree that we have to overcome.  I have this in spades.

Why? Because I am afraid that if I try something, I might fail.  The purpose of writing this post is to put my fear in public.  I sincerely hope that this act will allow me the courage to follow through with my plans.  I am going to write them out. I am going to work on them every day, unafraid of what will come. Because clearly, to do anything else is practicing limiting thinking.

We result from the thoughts that we entertain, and they will each have the power that you allow them to have. So from now on, this is a no-fear zone.  Or at least that is my hope.

What are you afraid of? 

21

Encourage

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Daily Positive Thought- Give Encouragement

Encouragement is something you can give to others and yourself to allow people to become the best versions of themselves.

When you head out on your journey today, look for the ways you can encourage others to become the best they can be.  No matter how far you have come in life and how much success you have experienced, you can promote someone else in their struggles.  Try to help another person reach the next level in their goals. Or find a way to support yourself this day to be the best version of yourself possible.

Help Them Up

People hit snags in life and sometimes need a simple, kind word to find the strength to keep ongoing.  What effort does it take to offer this to a person?  We can get so wrapped up with what is happening inside our minds; the needs of others are ignored.  The simple things to give people, a word, a pat on the back, or just an acknowledgment that we see them trying is enough. Your encouragement could be the difference in keeping a person from giving up. Look for those who are down in life and could use some support and give it to them today. Be the person who encourages others.

The Next Level

See those people in your world who are pushing to move to accomplish a goal they set. These are significant accomplishments and need to be recognized and celebrated because the success of one person means that all people can achieve their goals.  Each positive result is not just for that person. It is for all people in the world.  When you see someone step out of their comfort zone and try something new, encourage them to keep going. Your thoughts, words, and actions could be the difference for someone to become all they can be.  Look for opportunities to help people in this way today, and you will make the world a better place and your life a more enjoyable experience.

Encourage YOU

The most important person you can encourage is yourself. You are a person that is often ignored or put last on our list of priorities. The thoughts that we entertain about our abilities and worth is the most significant factor in our success and enjoyment in life. Listen to the way you talk to yourself, and this is the place kind words are needed most. Too often, we chastise ridicule and diminish our efforts. We know we aren’t perfect, but we are human beings with nearly unlimited potential. It is important to remember that.  Speak kindly to yourself and encourage the steps you have to take to reach the goals you want to accomplish in life.

For people to become the best version of themselves, they have to encounter some encouragement along the way.  You can be the source of that encouragement for yourself and others.  It takes a little conscious thought.

“Everyone has inside them a piece of good news. The good news is you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is.” – Anne Frank

“Everything you need to accomplish your goals is already in you.”

“Whenever you find yourself doubting how far you can go, remember how far you have come. Remember everything you have faced, all the battles you have won, and all the fears you have overcome.”

“In case you forgot to remind yourself this morning: Your butt is perfect. Your smile lights up the room. Your mind is insanely cool. You are way more than enough. And you are doing an amazing job at life.”

“You are gold, baby. Solid gold.”

 

21

Lifting Spirits

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What lifts your spirits when life gets you down?

fffffNo matter how positive a person tries to be, there will always be times when a person feels down and needs to have their spirits lifted.

The cause could be a relationship that has ended, and you can’t sleep. You are in the stage where the space inside of you may seem like it will never be filled. It may be a job you lost or a car that just died. It could even be a personal loss of a loved one passing away, leaving you down, sad and lonely.

There are a million reasons that our spirits can get a little down in life. There is nothing wrong with that, but you should always have a few tricks up your sleeve to lift your spirits.  These are the things that I do to lift my spirit when I am down.

Help Someone Else

Nothing lifts your spirit and gets you out of thinking about your problems help someone elsebetter than doing something that helps someone else.  It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture that costs money and takes a lot of time.  It simply has to be something that takes the focus off of you and your feelings and gets you looking more positively at the rest of the world.

Take someone somewhere, bake them a cake, visit for a cup of coffee or do whatever your heart tells you might help them.  It is the effort that will lift you, and it is difficult for your spirit to be low when you are lifting someone else.

Start a New Project of some Kind

Focus is important when your spirit is feeling low.  Getting your focus off of whatever is bringing you down is important to raise you back up.  Starting a new project can get fORTUNE-COOKIE-qUOTES-GOOD-TIME-TO-START-SOMETHING-NEWprovide that shift in focus that starts to lift you.

I have done health projects that have worked to lift my spirit. The latest I did was the Couch to 5K running program, which I absolutely loved.  It follows a running program until you get to the point you can run for five kilometers without stopping. It works, it is long-term, and it helped to lift me.

I think many of the blog projects I have done have helped lift me, and now I am just addicted to them. I recently heard that you should try to list 100 things that make you happy. If you can’t list 100, then you need to get out of your comfort zone.  Getting your focus onto something positive can lift your spirits and lead to growth.

As long as you choose a project that you have an interest in and stick to it, anything will do, and that will lift your spirits.

Let Others Help You

Sometimes we are the hammer, and sometimes we are the nail.  That sentence always reminds me about how life treats you.

charlie brownIt isn’t really good or bad as much as it is factual. Sometimes we are the one who willingly gives help to others and other times we require the kindness and help of others.   Allow them to help you.

When I needed help, my pride got in the way, and I would loudly and even emphatically claim I was fine.  Yet, I was not fine. I needed help to talk to someone or spend time with someone who cared about me.

If you are fortunate enough to have someone in your life that wants to help lift you, LET THEM!  A friend reminded me that there is a time for all things, sometimes you have to be strong, and sometimes it is OK to need help. That is how life works.

Remember how good it feels to have someone care about you, and that will lift your spirit. How can it not?

Enjoy all the Little Things

Finding joy in the little things you encounter every day should be easy, but because they are simple things and we often overlook them, sometimes we forget about them little thingscompletely, and the little things can lift your spirits.

Look at the weather.  It doesn’t matter what it is, and really it is pretty awesome. Rain provides the fuel for growth, a feeling of relaxation, and comfort.  The sound of rain on the grass or pattering off the roof provides relief.  A sunny day in the spring has its own hope and possibility. Those days seem to be just daring you to try to feel bad, and the only way you can accomplish that feat is to ignore the bright sunshine in front of you.

The sky can provide some of the greatest simple things that can lift your spirit.  In the day, look at a brilliant blue sky and notice the cloud formation. There is an endless feeling of hope and possibility up there, just waiting for you to notice it.  Try it someday, no matter where you are. Look up at the sky and notice the color. It never fails to lift my spirit unless I forget to look.

At night the sky is transformed into a covering of stars.  These provide you with hope and awe of a different kind, but it is no less powerful.  The show that the night sky provides you is free, majestic, and powerful, yet many of us never even notice.  This show is almost guaranteed to lift your spirit and make you feel better.

There are many other ways I am sure that could lift your spirit and make you feel better.  I urge you to have a few on reserve because you may never know when your spirit needs a little lifting.  Or, more importantly, when you may be needed to lift the spirit of someone else.

Feels Like Today ……………………………………..

p

21

Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The great thing about books is that they provide ideas for thought that are new to you. Like planting a seed in the ground, your thoughts can grow from someone else’s ideas, and today I am grateful for the many thoughts I have read from the great Ralph Waldo Emerson.  When I read the words RWE has written, they always spark a new light of thought. Of Course, it would be unrealistic to share a million views, but here are a few favorites and the seeds they have cultivated in my mind.  These quotes are timeless because of the ideas they planted in me many years after they were first written.  We can all dream of being able to write thoughts as inspirational.  The idea of making another person dream, be happy, or find motivation just by reading your words is incredible.

Ralph-Waldo“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. “

This is a favorite quote for me because even though I have found new thoughts and ideas in life, it seems like they have been around since the dawn of man.  If we can learn not to dwell on the past or worry about the future, then it is possible to enjoy the moment.  What is it that lies within each of us? Love? Understanding? Frustration?  I believe it is the unlimited potential to be whatever it is we want to be.  Too much of our effort is wasted fretting over past mistakes and missteps we can do nothing about.  Or, just as bad, worrying about the worst-case scenarios we dream up in our minds about tomorrow.  Both of these are of little consequence to what is happening right now, today in your life.  Learn to appreciate and enjoy the only moment you have right now. What is in you can create greatness at this moment, and the quality of your thoughts, words, and actions will determine this.  How you treat others, with kindness or angst.  What lies within you?

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. “

ralph-waldo-emerson-quotes_largeI have long thought that we all can do whatever we wish to do in our lives.  It could be that you will be very smart, or very rich, or both, but the ultimate decision in that equation lies with you and what you decide.

It doesn’t matter what your parents think, your family thinks, your teachers in school think, or anyone else because the only thought that counts is the one you have in your head.

In the end, there is nobody that you have to rely on to be whatever it is that you want to be except for yourself, which is a freeing and scary proposition all in one.

“Do not follow where the path may lead.  Go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

draft_lens19228560module157588922photo_1331513700_____a_a_aHow often in life is the path of least resistance the one that everyone else follows.  Sometimes it is the path of your life and the expectations that are acceptable by the rest of society.  Often it is in the sphere of religion where you are expected to follow along, easily like a sheep.  Sometimes it is the socially accepted cultural biases you are supposed to swallow like a mindless avatar.  Yet, the true greatness in a person can only be viewed fully when they step out of the path they are expected to follow and make their way.

Not one new, innovative thought or activity would have ever been created or started unless there were individuals who made their own path and stuck to it regardless of the objections or negative thoughts.

“What you do speaks so loud I cannot hear what you say.”

quote-what-you-do-speaks-so-loud-that-i-cannot-hear-what-you-say-ralph-waldo-emerson-280707So many people are so engaged in what they are doing that they never notice how loud their actions are, drowning out anything they say.

I have known many people who want to give great advice, superior display leadership, or express great thoughts.  Yet, their actions in other areas of their lives or how they treat situations or people make it impossible to hear what they have to say.

If you speak one way, make sure your actions support that philosophy in all phases of your life.  Otherwise, one’s hypocrisy is all that will be evident.

Often I have had the virtues of Christianity told to me by a practitioner of that faith who in their lives are showing no integrity or only that which is convenient and is sure to attract the attention and admiration of others.  These are hollow acts to me that distract from the message they are trying to get across.

This is true in everything that you do.  Ralph Waldo Emerson’s thoughtful quote reminds us to be true in our words and our actions so that they are working in concert.

So on this wonderfully sunny day, I am particularly grateful for the inspiring words of Ralph Waldo Emerson, and I am thankful to share them with you!!

“Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.”-  Ralph Waldo Emerson.

 

21

Who Am I?

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what makes me me
What makes me, me?

Who Am I?

Today when I think about myself, I don’t feel different from the person I was at younger moments of my life.  Yet I know that when I look in the mirror, that person has seen some things, been quite a few miles, and hopefully gained some wisdom. I  think we all ponder what factors make us unique in a world that is constantly trying to make us as uniform as possible.

I think that it is kind of mind-boggling to think that of all of the billions and billions of people that have ever existed in the history of the earth, that there has never before been anyone who is exactly like me, and there never will be another again. The same is true for all of us, and there is something in that knowledge that forces us to take a little responsibility for our actions and the lives they create.

I am a one-of-a-kind original, as all people are, which is something powerful to think about.  But still, I want to express what makes me a unique individual.

My Power

The first thing that you have to look at is the attributes  I was born with, from my personality, which is uniquely my own,  to how I react to and interact with the world.  These actions are all mine and always have been.  I think that I have contained the same personality and been the same person since I

I am what I am
I am what I am………awesome!

I was able first to be aware of life around me. Sometimes, I take things too personally, and I don’t give up on others very easily. Even when they have given up on me. I love to learn, and that is my real superpower because it allows me to continually grow and become a better person simply by using my brain.  I have always put people into two categories. One is the sponges; these are people who soak up everything in their lives and learn from them. Taking the valuable and squeezing out the things which don’t matter.  The second is rocks, hard and impenetrable. These people are so busy being right in who they are; they don’t absorb anything new and valuable. Growth is impossible. Which type of person are you?

My personality has been influenced and cajoled by the experiences that life has given me. My upbringing programmed me, and although I don’t think anyone meant me any harm, I have been spending my life unraveling the limiting beliefs I was instilled with as a child, from money issues to relationship knowledge. But in essence, the person at the core of my being is the same one who started this journey, just a more complex version.

My History

The second reason I am me is my family and our history.  Each of the people of all relationships that touched my life, from my parents, grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and siblings, has all left a mark and helped mold me into the person I am today. Being brought up as the second child of four was the most influential portion of my childhood. The activities we participated in as a family were the first lessons in what is important.

Whether it was the direct lessons, they taught me, like be polite or don’t steal. Or the indirect lessons that they taught by showing kindness, compassion, and caring for others, I am indebted to my family for much of what I am today and for what I will become in the future. I often recall all of my grandparents; now they are all gone, those thoughts are all that is left.  What would my grandparents think about the world as it is today, I wonder?

You will choose who you are

learning from life
This was me at 5 years old. What advice I would give him.

Thirdly, I think that your life experiences make a big impact on who you are and, even more importantly, your reactions to the things that life throws at you. The past year has been a reminder to me about the yin and yang of life, how there always seems to be a dichotomy in all things. Where great good exists, there is the potential for great bad. I know this is true because that was my life in 2018.

There are circumstances you love, wishing they would last forever, and some which aren’t so nice to experience. With each experience, pleasant or difficult, you will always have the choice of what you take from it. In fact, often stressful, painful experiences are often the most educational, motivational, and ultimately valuable moves.  How to grow, heal and forgive are often the most valuable residues of the suffering we face.

You alone are responsible for deciding if you learn something and move forward or be so devastated that you can only look backward with regret.

This is a personal choice that nobody can make for you, but one has gone a long way in defining who I am today and why I am me.

Many factors will cause us to reevaluate our lives, the death of a loved one, a serious illness, or perhaps the ending of a relationship.

That new perspective can catapult you into one of two directions, forward to accomplishment or backward in regret and despair.  Sounds harsh, but there are only two ways you can go every day in the life: you are getting better, or you are getting worse, nobody stays the same.

Who am I in my own thoughts? To quote Lady Ga Ga, I was born this way, and there is really no other way I would rather be. I have spent too much time in my life worrying about what other people think of the actions I take and how they may look to them. The only person I really need to be concerned with is myself.  I choose to base my life choices on strong, positive values like kindness, compassion, understanding, honesty, and integrity.

In the words of Carly Simon, “Nobody does it better.” I am the best me I can be, and that will have to be alright with everyone. Welcome to August 2021!! It’s a pleasure to make it this far.