All posts by Jonathan Hilton

Anger

For those who like spelling!
For those who like spelling!

I was faced with today’s question of whether or not anger is a bad thing or a good thing. I believe that anger is one of the emotions that you should avoid because it is one of the emotions that stem from fear.  However, being the open-minded person that I am, I am willing to look at the emotion of anger from a neutral standpoint and decide once and for all if it is desirable to be angry or not.

Anger is just Anger

I am the first to admit that anger in and of itself is not a bad thing or a good thing. It is just a thing.  We all experience the emotion of anger because we are human. But, it is how we deal with that emotion that I think is important.  So, where your anger takes you in your thoughts, words and actions will determine whether that experience is productive or not.  This determines if it is good or bad for you.

Is anger Good?

Happiness is better than anger.
Happiness is better than anger.

There are some good things to anger.  The emotion itself exists to let us know when someone or something is hurting us or our needs are just not being met. It acts much like a smoke detector, warning of potential danger.   The positive possibilities exist when you look at the anger and understand why you feel this way.  Dealing with these emotions positively and discussing them with the people close to you allows you to work on that warning sign, and the next time it will bother you less.

Anger Problems

It’s not the anger that is the problem. Poor management of anger is the problem. If you are prone to angry outbursts, then you know that anger is more often than not going to entice you to say or do something that you will be apologizing later for.

Anger causes you to react from emotion and act quickly, without really thinking, and those results are usually bad.  But more importantly, I believe it is important to recognize where that anger is taking you.  If, for example, anger makes you physically violent, then that is wrong, and it is always wrong.  That is the most dramatic case, and most people would agree that it is never OK to commit physical violence no matter what someone does to make you mad.

tumblr_mdfkwiHmPt1rzcaajo1_500Everyone knows someone who has an anger management problem, and they are not pleasant people to be around.  You live your life walking on the edge of a volcano, with no idea when it might explode, spewing hot lava all over you.  I have also been fortunate enough to interact with people who use their anger as a push to understand themselves.

We should apply the same filter to other reactions which result from anger.  Much like the action to hit, push or slap a problem away from you because it hurt you, a person can react just as thoughtlessly by adding hate, revenge, or jealousy to the problem.  This would be a great example of how to turn the emotion of anger into something terrible.

Anger leads to Revenge, hatred, and jealousy, to name a few.

Negative thoughts that we entertain are going to affect our lives negatively.  Whether you believe in karma, quantum physics, or Christianity, hate is not an acceptable thought or behavior, and nothing good ever came from revenge, hatred, or jealousy.  They are nothing more than a person’s effort to “payback” someone or something that hurt them or didn’t fulfill a need.  So allowing this anger to churn inside you and spin out these other negative thoughts and actions will harm your existence.

Hating someone because of something they did to you or someone else is the same thing as hating yourself. We all have the ability to commit great evil and to show tremendous love.  How can you hate someone else for acting exactly like you are capable of?  You never have to like what they do or accept it.  Deplore the act, but forgive the person responsible because it is only through forgiveness that you can find peace.

Revenge will Get You Nowhere.

The same can be said for revenge. When someone hurts you, the most natural response is to want to hurt them back in any way you can.  Through name-calling, disparaging comments, or actions that you know will cause pain.  You can find revenge, but it will not make you a better person.  Anger is the hot rock that burns the one that holds it.  To hold a grudge, or obsess about paying someone back, is only going to stop you from moving forward.  The past

All emotions are ok, it is our reaction to them that causes problems.
All emotions are ok; it is our reaction to them that causes problems.

It is gone, it is over, and no matter how much punishment your hurt feelings get you to implement, you can’t change the act that hurt you.  This thought pattern will stop you from letting it go and move forward.

Jealousy is a Monster

Anger often is turned into jealousy about careers, love, or even possessions.  There is nothing positive about this emotion.  Jealousy is selfish and can turn one of the best experiences in life, love and turn it into a controlling, manipulative relationship.  Most of this comes from anger that you either ignore and are a slave to in your reaction to it.

These are just three negative emotions that stem from not positively handling your anger.  My experience with each of these has been inclusively negative in every way imaginable.  Jealousy stems from anger fed by insecurity. Revenge is a reaction to make someone else recognize and understand the hurt you are feeling, and hate is an emotion that has no positive aspect to it at all.

Forgiveness is Final

There is no reason to beat yourself up or think you are a bad person if you experience anger because we are all humans, and we all experience anger.  Gandhi experienced anger, but he didn’t let it consume him. He believed you had to forgive those who wronged you or the things that happened to you.  Once you let them go, they no longer have any power over you, and you can freely move on with your life.  Much like a giant burden is taken off of your back.

In conclusion, Anger is an emotion that is neither good nor bad; it is an inevitable piece of being a human being, stemming from being hurt or not having your needs met.  How you deal with anger and what you let it manifest into in your thoughts, words and deeds are where we can recognize anger as either positive or negative.

 

Doors

There are things known, and there are things unknown, and in between are the doors of perception.” – Aldous Huxley

SHORPY_8d27251a.previewI came across this quote today, and it stuck in my head. It was worth a little thought. Maybe too little. Do you know what is important to you? Do you know the meaning of life? Do you know what your inner nature is? Do you see the power of your thoughts? What happens when this physical life ends?

We don’t know many things, and we are looking for the doors that will bring us into knowledge and understanding of a new life. This quote is said to have been the inspiration for the band the Doors to choose their name. Jim Morrison was on to something, but it makes me think about our perceptions of our realities and how foggy the unknown can make our lives.

What You See Isn’t Always What you See

a Julian Beever’s pavement drawing. amazing!!
Julian Beever’s pavement drawing. Amazing!!

There are whole industries created in marketing that show that our perception will see what they want us to see. That is how they control the marketing dollars by turning your perception of reality into wanting their product. There are also many artists who

An entire generation were lied to about the harm of tobacco products, but good advertisements made the perception of cigarettes positive.
They misled an entire generation about the harm of tobacco products, but good advertisements made the perception of cigarettes positive.

Create incredible images that manipulate our perceptions. Two-dimensional drawings which appear three-dimensional.  These trick your eye into believing something that is not there. How many things in our lives are doing the same thing?  Showing us what we already assume we are looking at, but it is something different. The only way to discern the truth of these perceptions is to investigate them thoroughly. Unfortunately, many people are living in a walking sleep and have no interest in finding the truth. Find the truth and change your perception. Open a new door.

Our Story Can Change

city3All of us have a story that we tell about our lives. It explains who we are and how we have come this far in life. Our trials and triumphs take center stage in this tale about our existence. BUT what happens if you change the story? What happens if you add something new and exciting or remove something devastating and sad? How does your perception change, and more importantly, how does someone else’s perception of you change?

Only by changing the story you tell can you change your perception of yourself. Give it a try. Change that tragedy to a win. Talk about it and see if it turns your descriptions.

Open The Doors of Perception

williamblake396783To understand people better and get fundamental knowledge of yourself, let’s open up these doors to the unknown. All things in your reality come down to the decisions that you make. Decide to be more accepting and open-minded about all facets of life, rather than force-feeding yourself the same old story about something you encounter. Look at it from a new point of view.

Engage in reading books that teach you something or videos about topics you want to learn. As your mind expands with new information, your perception of life is going to change. It has no choice, and it will not go back to what you perceived before.

The more we learn, the more we move into the unknown, the more doors we open. The more entries we begin, obviously, the greater our perception of the world around us. To expand your mind with more thought and knowledge, and the treasures of the world may just be yours. 

Wayne Dyer’s famous quote: “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”   This quote tells us that our perceptions of the world are under our control, and it is our choices and decisions that make up our perception of reality.

What are you looking at today that brings a negative perception into your life?

Kindness

You are responsible for doing this!!
You are responsible for doing this!!

No matter where you are in the journey of life, there will be opportunities today to practice kindness of some sort, which will enhance someone’s experience on Earth in a positive way. If you need any convincing that taking this action will improve the world, then I wanted to provide you with five reasons that kindness is fantastic, and you can be the catalyst for this today, right here, and right now.

Kindness Can Change The World

How the world is viewed is unique to each of us. Kindness allows us to share a positive view of kindness inpiresothers. Simple acts of kindness show others that they aren’t on this journey all alone. We are all in this together. That understanding of the connection that kindness brings can allow someone having a bad day to have a good day.

One small act of kindness can lead to another small act of kindness, which leads to another, and that chain reaction can change the world.

Kindness is Free

All people in the world can afford to practice kindness because it is free. There is no limit on how much you can show in a day either. What kind of world kindness 11would it be if everyone was looking for ways to be kind all through every day? It would be pretty great. Think about that the following situation that you find someone annoying you at work. There is an opportunity for you to practice kindness in thought and deed. Perhaps all that annoying co-worker needs is a kind word from you to turn their day around.  Practice as much as you can because it doesn’t cost a thing.

 Kindness is Contagious

Just as a small pebble can cause an avalanche on a mountainside, one act of kindness can significantly change the world. When you practice your small acts of kindness, they may not seem all that great to you. But when we put all of the small acts of service together, then you have a significant change in the world. Each action, inspiring another and then another until the world is covered in kindness. It certainly beats the alternative.

 Kindness Makes Us Happy

When you are kind to another person, it makes a statement about who you are and what you stand for not only to the world but also to yourself. There are enough things in the world designed to make us feel wrong about who we are. Shouldn’t we try to practice something that makes us feel great about ourselves? To feel happy?

wpid-acts-of-kindness-ripple-4-30-2015There is also some scientific evidence that proves that your brain experiences a chemical reaction that makes you feel better when you are kind. So, true or not, there is no doubt that being the reason someone else smiles today is a good thing, and you can’t debate that. Kindness will make you feel better.

 Kindness Makes Us Easier To Live With

Is it easier to deal with demanding and self-centered or someone looking to do things that make your life better? It is the latter, and kindness provides us with that opportunity all the time. Our relationships will only benefit from the practice of kindness. A supportive comment, a compliment, understanding of a problem, or just a supportive hug can change the energy of those you love and make your relationships stronger. How many relationships could be saved by practicing more kindness? Putting the needs of those you love as a priority and soothing them with kind words and deeds could end many of the fights and misunderstandings that end relationships today. Kindness is never the wrong thing to do.

There you go. If I had more time, I think I could easily add ten more simple benefits of kindness. The bottom line is that thinking of ways to be kind to others will change the experience that you are having in life for the positive. It just involves making the happiness of others a priority. So enjoy your day and make a point to create kind experiences for others and yourself.

Kindness is indeed extraordinary!

Challenges and Fate

 

Making-Choices-At-Cross-Roads-represents-Free-Will-Arriving-at-a-Cross-Road-represents-destinyMany have wondered if there is really such a thing as free will, or are we just following predetermined cosmic paths created for us to experience by some higher power.  Do our experiences happen for a reason, or are they chance?

Constantly, people face challenges and situations that always give them an essential experience or understanding that they need to accomplish a goal or create something that they could never have done without it.  Did you make choices about your actions, or was it your destiny?

At times it seems that life is an intricately planned dance, that we are merely providing a well-rehearsed part. So I will determine once and for all right here if you should listen to your heart or if it is an illusion you have any choice at all.

You Have a Choice

One side of this argument is that we all have the free will and choice to do whatever we want to do. There are no facts to back up this idea, only philosophy. We can pursue any goal, try to become anything we want in life. Create any experience we want. However, these goals do not always turn into reality. Sometimes we fail. So what is the choice then?  It is often a comforting thought to think that all thingsYou-have-a-choice. happen for a reason. But the bigger question to ask is, what is the reason? Is it a reason we have created for ourselves or a cosmic path we are sliding down?

We are the decision-maker in our lives. We each decide to ourselves if we let a minor setback put off the rails for a long time or resolve to try a different approach, learning the lessons of the past and the steely punch of reality.  When you set an intention in your mind and decide to create something, I think the Universe works to bring this about. But you can’t be sort of onboard with the result.  If you fail at first, you have a choice. To quit and blame the world for not giving you the thing you hoped to accomplish. Or you can choose to get determined and try again. You are not doing the same thing. That isn’t growth, but learning from the experience and adding that wisdom to the new effort.  That is a choice, and we all have free will to follow that at any time. I often have to remind myself of this fact daily. Many people go through relatively the same experiences. Some choose to quit, hide from and be bitter about life, where others want to use the circumstances as a motivation for getting something done, accomplishing the unthinkable, and proving life wrong. You can most likely find both of these experiences inside of yourself.

All As It Was Meant To Be

destiny-1Another thought is that everything exists out in front of you, and you are following a path that is set for you by God, the universe, the great beyond, or destiny (whatever you choose to believe).  To me, this means there is something that is going to happen regardless of your decisions.

If this is the case, then each choice you make is no choice at all; it is just you playing a predetermined part.  It will be ironic if this turns out to be true. Some decisions we languish over and spend hours of worry about for no real reason. But, in the end, your choice is already recorded in the books. We are just part of the illusion of control that makes us feel better.

Destiny is an excellent idea because it relieves the pressure. Things may not be as I want them right now, but I am moving toward greatness because it is written in the stars. (or not) I believe that the thought of true destiny without our participation would make no sense, but that is why we play this game of life to figure out the rules required to win. Each step we take reveals a little more of the game, and if a person is observant and reflective, they can learn more every day.  There are times I feel like circumstances are as they are meant to be, and others where I can’t imagine the good that could result from the day I just had. I guess the value of anything is judged by you and how it is applied to make your life better or worse. Have you ever just let the fates decide? I know I have, and in those situations, whatever happens, enjoyment and happiness are still a choice.

The Combo Pack

destiny-or-free-will_06_2011I think that there might be a combination of these two elements at work in everyone’s life. You are living your life, and you are faced with decisions each day. You can be significant, and the choices you determine if you reach your potential or not.  If you let the fear of anything stop you from becoming a better version of yourself, you will be less than you could be in life. In all things of value, there is always a chance of failure, loss, and disappointment. I have experienced it all in the past year.  It is my choice now what I do about it. If those things drive me to do something which leads me to great success, then, in the end, aren’t the nasty things perfect?

Was it fate that pushed me in the right direction, or was it a personal choice? Does it matter at all if the result is a happy life in which we can be the best version of ourselves? The one thing which I am sure about is that if you are unhappy with your life, then you have to make a different choice than you have been making.

Each choice we make should reflect on our experience. Life had given and where we are going and what we do when we get there.  My personal experiences have been telling me that we create our destiny.  Through our intentions, beliefs, actions, and confidence in ourselves and our abilities, we forge a life full of accomplishment. Or, through our inaction and doubt, we create a mediocre life that may be acceptable to others but doesn’t follow our real purpose in any way.

Irony?

One of the ideas I love is no matter what choices we make in the day-to-day grind of things. We are going to be pushed this way or that. We do one thing or another. We make a million decisions to try to create something or become something. The irony might be that all roads lead to the same destination. Some are more scenic, and some are more painful. But at the end of the journey, no matter which paths you have chosen, you will arrive in the same place.

If I listened to my heart, I would delete this post. Or perhaps it is my destiny to post it. Or maybe the choice of posting or not will turn my life down one of two different roads, each of which has a million different experiences on them before ending up in the same place.   It makes you wonder if there is any point in worrying about anything at all. So perhaps listen to your heart, cross your fingers, and hope for the best is the most positive thing you can do.

So what do you think?

A. By not commenting, you believe that the universe is on autopilot and what happens will happen

B. You can say, knowing that your free will to comment will affect your future, my future, and the future of humanity.

C. It doesn’t matter what you do. The same result will occur.

D. All of the Above

“What fates impose, that men must need to abide;
It boots not to resist both wind and tide.” WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

“Man does not control his fate. The women in his life do that for him.”-GROUCHO MARX

“Maybe Fate isn’t the pond you swim in, but the fisherman floating on top of it, letting you run the line wild until you are weary enough to be reeled back in.”-JODI PICOULT

“We seal our fate with the choices we make.”  GLORIA ESTEFAN

Confidence in That

challenges_aheadEvery person in the world in the history of humanity has been faced with the fact that life is going to be complex or challenging at times. It doesn’t matter what skills and tools you possess, Einstein intelligence, classic beauty, superior physical strength, or massive understanding, you are going to at some time find that life is kicking you around like a rag doll. So naturally, your confidence will be shaken. However, these times are not meant to break you but to strengthen you. The challenge is the thing that will cement your belief in yourself.

Master the Game

It would be nice if life were easy all the time and we had the whole game mastered. But, instead, it is knowing exactly what to do and when. Should I change careers? Is this relationship right for me? Why do I have so many issues, and How do I deal with them?  All of these things are a part of the dance that is life. Life will give you periods where all is calm and nothing but happy times exist, but there are going to be other times that will not be easy. Challenges will most definitely come. And that is OK.

Stretch and Grow

The challenges and the difficulties that we face in life are the things that will force us to stretch and llchagrow in ways that we may never have done before. In fact, without these difficulties in life, we probably wouldn’t have the capabilities and talents that we have. Each hurdle that you have to get over is a teaching tool that has been placed in front of you to allow you to learn, grow and become better than you were before.

When you see a challenge in your life, don’t fear it. Embrace it. The difficulty isn’t going anywhere, and only your attitude and decisions will decide if you learn anything worthwhile or not. It is totally and entirely up to you.

Your confidence will grow as you master the lessons that each challenge brings you. As I see it, the secret is to appreciate, enjoy, and be grateful for the moments that you seem to have everything mastered. Happiness only comes in moments that are happening right now, not in the past or the future. Now. You can be confident in that.

Mr. Worry

Mr. Worry Knows no worrying will help anything

Why is Worry A Waste of Time?

It is difficult to stop your mind from thinking about bad things that might happen.  When you look at what you are thinking, much of it is based on untamed, repetitive thoughts and based entirely on fear.  If your mind is left to its own devices, continually spitting out random thought patterns with no conscious control from you, worry will most likely be the result.  Fear-based thoughts about what might happen tomorrow will take something away from you of value, or that you will add something terrible to your life will dominate you. Unfortunately, this constant stream of negativity is occurring in most people’s minds.  Worry will never help you, other than to make your life the most miserable experience it can be for you and all of those around you.  But yet we worry on.

Negative thinking can have both short and long-term complications on the quality of your life, from physical issues to psychological problems of paranoia or obsessive-compulsive disorders of all kinds. Fear is the antagonistic force behind this, and a positive attitude and hope are the cure of all of this worry all the time.

I read an interesting article about worry that I want to share with my commentary. I hope it helps you.  Dr. Walter Cavert contributed it.

Things We Worry About

– Things that never happen- 40%

dontworry-300x298Many times our minds can cook up precisely what we are scared of.  What if a meteor hits my house?

What if my significant other is cheating on m? What if my children forget to look both ways before crossing the road and are arrested for jaywalking and sent to prison and never receive that baseball scholarship? North Korea may develop a weapon to destroy us.

The list of what-ifs and how comes is as endless as your imagination.  You can spend unlimited time worrying about these types of things, but you are wasting a significant portion of your time.

The thing is that these events that are worrying you so much may never and most likely will never happen.  I understand that they may happen, but will worry about them stop them even if they do?  Will it allow you to protect your loved ones and yourself from these events?  The answer is no. Even if they do happen, your worrying about them will not prevent them, and you will have to deal with them anyway.

How to defeat these worries, recognize these thoughts when they arise as things that may never happen.  Understand that excessive worry does not lead to control because we can never have complete control over life and the things that will happen, no matter what we do.

Life is never about what happens to you. It is all about how you deal with these things.  You can control what thoughts you allow to influence your moods and behaviors.  As a famous philosopher once said, “Stuff Happens, deal with it.”  That is how it is, and you will be much healthier if you eliminate your worries about things that will never happen.

-Things over and done with that can’t be changed- 30%

quote about worry
So True!

How much time do we spend thinking about our past?  Whether it is about choices we have made our choices we didn’t make, people often look back with a healthy sense of fantasy that if they had done something differently, or if they had made a different decision at a critical point in their life, then now life would be so much better.

The danger with these types of thoughts is that they are so addictive and believable.  It is comforting to visit thought about our past. They are safe, and whether you admit it or not, you have the ultimate control of how the particular situation you are thinking about actually occurred.

You can only remember snapshots of events anyway because remembering every detail would take the same real-time it took when the event originally happened. So that means your mind is just picking and choosing the parts it wants you to remember.

Almost always idealized.  Almost always positive towards you and serving whatever purpose you want your memory to fill.   Also, as human beings, our minds will see what we want them to see and remember.

This is emphasized by any five individuals who witness something. If you separate them and look at their memory of that event, you will get five different versions.  They will be similar but rarely precisely the same.

As time passes, the more different these stories will become, and that is how our memories work. Then, finally, an event happens, and we immediately let our imaginations run wild about it.  The point is that worrying about how things worked out in the past is a waste of time because you can NOT change the past.

It happened, and what you remember about it may not be entirely accurate anyway.  The past is gone, and you can’t get it back, make a different decision, or change the way things worked out at all.  Those events, good or bad, are gone forever and won’t ever be returning.

It seems to be the only intelligent thing to do is to remember the past as much as is advantageous to us.  For example, life is a great teacher, and you learn new things every day of life. You would be a fool not to take those lessons and not make the same mistakes again another time. So any worry, angst, heartbreak, denial, nostalgia, thought about the past is a waste of time because once it’s gone, you can’t change it, and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.  So accept it, learn from it, and move on because life is continuing, with or without you.

-Needless worries about our health- 12%

This is a difficult one because I think that everyone should be interested in being healthy physically and mentally. But, still, there is a difference between being healthy and worrying about our health needlessly.

To mean needless worrying relates to the previous two worries but specifically about our health.  Worrying about every ache and pain is the beginning of some significant injury or illness.

You may, in fact, at some point contract an illness, but worrying about it is probably not going to stop it.  You can take great care of yourself for your entire life and drop dead from a heart attack because of a defective aorta.

You can eat right and exercise every day and still contract cancer.  The point is not that bad things might happen to your health, but worrying continually about them is only going to shorten your quality of life and make you miserable.

It seems the logical thing to do, is to take care of yourself as best you can and live your life.  I don’t think you should stop working out or eating right, but not spend a significant amount of time worrying about what might happen to your health in the future.

What will happen is going to happen.  Being in shape will only help you deal with things physically and mentally.

– Petty miscellaneous worries- 10%

These are the things that we worry about that are inconsequential to life.  For example, worrying about what someone is saying about you, what they are making up about you, or being well-liked by coworkers, or if your physical appearance is appealing to everyone you meet.

Any of these types of worries are a foolish waste of time.  Some people will like you, some are not, some will think you are attractive, and some will not, no matter what you do.  You can spend hours worrying about how you look and what others you come in contact with think about you as a person, but do they know you in any natural way?  Does their opinion matter?  What you feel about yourself is what counts.  You know what type of person you are.  Are you honest? Do you talk about others? Do you spread rumors?  Would you steal?

All of these questions and more are totally up to you to answer.  And if you don’t like the honest answer you give yourself, you can make a choice to change that.  It is never too late, and nobody is set in stone.  We are all a victim of our experience, and we can choose to let those things dictate our character or not.

-Real legitimate worries-8%

Now, you should worry about some things, like if you have a place to live and food to eat. Suppose your basic needs are being met for you and your family. However, I still have an issue with the word worry, even in this capacity.

Because being concerned or responsible is not worrying.  It is being concerned about the well-being of your family and loved ones and being responsible for them getting what they need.  Worrying has never fed a child or ended any trouble.  As humans, worry is one of the defense mechanisms that help us deal with the misfortunes that life will inevitably send our way.

This situation leaves 92% of all worry we do as totally useless and unhealthy!

 

 

“And this too shall pass.”

 

Quotes About Worry!

Worry is a misuse of imagination.  ~Dan Zadra

If I had my life to live over, I would perhaps have more actual troubles, but I’d have fewer imaginary ones.  ~Don Herold

Drag your thoughts away from your troubles… by the ears, by the heels, or any other way you can manage it.  ~Mark Twain

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.  ~Author Unknown

Let us be of good cheer, remembering that the misfortunes hardest to bear are those which will never happen.  ~James Russel Lowell

If things go wrong, don’t go with them.  ~Roger Babson

Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow. It only saps today of its joy.  ~Leo Buscaglia

Do not anticipate trouble or worry about what may never happen.  Keep in the sunlight.  ~Benjamin Franklin

If you can’t sleep, then get up and do something instead of lying there worrying.  It’s the worry that gets you, not the lack of sleep.  ~Dale Carnegie

I’ve developed a new philosophy… I only dread one day at a time.  ~Charlie Brown (Charles Schulz)

Troubles are a lot like people – they grow bigger if you nurse them.  ~Author Unknown

If you want to test your memory, try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today.  ~E. Joseph Cossman

Nerves and butterflies are fine – they’re a physical sign that you’re mentally ready and eager.  You have to get the butterflies to fly in formation, that’s the trick.  ~Steve Bull

I keep the telephone of my mind open to peace, harmony, health, love and abundance.  Then, whenever doubt, anxiety or fear try to call me, they keep getting a busy signal – and soon they’ll forget my number.  ~Edith Armstrong

Nerves provide me with energy.  They work for me.  It’s when I don’t have them, when I feel at ease, that I get worried.  ~Mike Nichols

I come into the peace of wild things who do not tax their lives with forethought of grief…. For a time I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.  ~Wendell Berry, “The Peace of Wild Things”

People gather bundles of sticks to build bridges they never cross.  ~Author Unknown

You can’t wring your hands and roll up your sleeves at the same time.  ~Pat Schroeder

The greatest mistake you can make in life is to be continually fearing you will make one.  ~Elbert Hubbard, The Note Book, 1927

Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it gets you nowhere.  ~Glenn Turner

People become attached to their burdens sometimes more than the burdens are attached to them.  ~George Bernard Shaw, “Family Affection,” Parents and Children, 1914

Panic is a sudden desertion of us, and a going over to the enemy of our imagination.  ~Christian Nevell Bovee

Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face.  ~Nelson DeMille

For peace of mind, resign as general manager of the universe.  ~Author Unknown

We experience moments absolutely free from worry.  These brief respites are called panic.  ~Cullen Hightower

If you treat every situation as a life and death matter, you’ll die a lot of times.  ~Dean Smith

It only seems as if you are doing something when you’re worrying.  ~Lucy Maud Montgomery

That the birds of worry and care fly over you head, you cannot change, but that they build nests in your hair, which you can prevent.  ~Chinese Proverb

We can easily manage if we will only take, each day, the burden appointed to it.  But the load will be too heavy for us if we carry yesterday’s burden over again today and then add the burden of the morrow before we are required to bear it.  ~John Newton

Worry ducks when purpose flies overhead.  ~Terri Guillemets

It is the little bits of things that fret and worry us; we can dodge an elephant but can’t a fly.  ~Josh Billings

Worry, doubt, fear, and despair are the enemies which slowly bring us down to the ground and turn us to dust before we die.  ~Attributed to Douglas MacArthur

Worry is an addiction that interferes with compassion.  ~Deng Ming-Dao

You can never worry your way to enlightenment.  ~Terri Guillemets

When you suffer an attack of nerves, you’re being attacked by the nervous system.  What chance has a man got against a system?  ~Russell Hoban

[A]ny concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.  ~Corrie Ten Boom, Clippings from My Notebook

I am reminded of the advice of my neighbor.  “Never worry about your heart till it stops beating.”  ~E.B. White

There are two days in the week about which and upon which I never worry… Yesterday and Tomorrow.  ~Robert Jones Burdette

A day of worry is more exhausting than a day of work.  ~John Lubbock

As a rule, what is out of sight disturbs men’s minds more seriously than what they see.  ~Julius Caesar

If worrying were an Olympic sport, you’d get the gold for sure.  ~Stephenie Geist

I refuse to be burdened by vague worries.  If something wants to worry me, it will have to make itself clear.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

Worry is rust upon the blade.  ~Henry Ward Hughes

Anxiety is a deep conscious breath away from dissolving.  ~Mike Dolan,www.hawaiianlife.com

Heavy thoughts bring on physical maladies; when the soul is oppressed so is the body.  ~Martin Luther

I have learned to live each day as it comes and not to borrow trouble by dreading tomorrow.  It is the dark menace of the future that makes cowards of us.  ~Dorothy Day

Worry is a complete cycle of inefficient thought revolving around a pivot of fear.  ~Author Unknown

Loneliness, insomnia, and change:  the fear of these is even worse than the reality.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

It is not the cares of today, but the considerations of tomorrow, that weigh a man down.  ~George MacDonald

Oh, the nerves, the nerves; the mysteries of this machine called man!  Oh the little that unhinges it, poor creatures that we are!  ~Charles Dickens

Some patients I see are actually draining into their bodies the diseased thoughts of their minds.  ~Zacharty Bercovitz

Some of your hurts you have cured,
And the sharpest you still have survived,
But what torments of grief you endured
From the evil which never arrived.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson

I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.  ~Mark Twain

I highly recommend worrying.  It is much more effective than dieting.  ~William Powell

My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.  ~Michel de Montaigne

If you see ten troubles coming down the road, you can be sure that nine will run into the ditch before they reach you.  ~Calvin Coolidge

When one has too great a dread of what is impending, one feels some relief when the trouble has come.  ~Joseph Joubert

Some men storm imaginary Alps all their lives, and die in the foothills cursing difficulties which do not exist.  ~Edgar Watson Howe

How much pain they have cost us, the evils which have never happened.  ~Thomas Jefferson

When I really worry about something, I don’t just fool around.  I even have to go to the bathroom when I worry about something.  Only, I don’t go.  I’m too worried to go.  I don’t want to interrupt my worrying to go.  ~J.D. Salinger,Catcher in the Rye

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.  If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.  ~Arthur Somers Roche

We have to fight them daily, like fleas, those many small worries about the morrow, for they sap our energies.  ~Etty Hillesum

There are people who are always anticipating trouble, and in this way they manage to enjoy many sorrows that never really happen to them.  ~Josh Billings

Only man clogs his happiness with care, destroying what is with thoughts of what may be.  ~John Dryden

Love looks forward, hate looks back, anxiety has eyes all over its head.  ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.  ~William Ralph Inge

There are more things, Lucilius, that frighten us than injure us, and we suffer more in imagination than in reality.  ~Seneca

We are more disturbed by a calamity which threatens us than by one which has befallen us.  ~John Lancaster Spalding

We are, perhaps, uniquely among the earth’s creatures, the worrying animal.  We worry away our lives.  ~Lewis Thomas, The Medusa and the Snail, 1979

A hundred load of worry will not pay an ounce of debt.  ~George Herbert

As a cure for worrying, work is better than whiskey.  ~Thomas A. Edison

Worry often gives a small thing a big shadow.  ~Swedish Proverb

Never bear more than one kind of trouble at a time.  Some people bear three – all they have had, all they have now, and all they expect to have.  ~Edward Everett Hale

How You Fit

everyone_fits_in_somewhereYou Fit in So Well

I think that all people at some time have the feeling that they just don’t fit in. It could have been in school, and it could be at work or anywhere else in the world. Feeling like you are just too different to find your place is a common belief, but it is one that you should get rid of right now because that thought is only limiting you from seeing the places where you do fit ideally.

Hiding your Talent will not Let You Fit In

The thought that we are too different to fit into society in any way will il_570xN.244205841
cause a person to look for ways to conform to the expectations of the norm. That means that you are looking for ways to hide the things about yourself that make you original, fantastic, and just plain wonderful.  That unique you are the one you should nurture and allow to grow and not hide from the world.  Through our rarity, the world will ultimately embrace you, and you will make your mark.

Don’t bow your head to anyone because you don’t act, think or look like everyone else expects you to. You are a one-of-a-kind original, and you will find the place you fit in as soon as you embrace your rarity.

Don’t Accept Other Peoples Limits You Fit In

If you weren’t accepted at some time in the past, that is the problem of the people who didn’t accept you, not yours. There are thousands of examples quote-maybe-other-people-will-try-to-limit-me-but-i-don-t-limit-myself-jim-carrey-32557of genius that were ignored, ridiculed, and chastised because it was different from the norm, only to be recognized as a unique contribution in the eyes of history.

You are that historical contribution and don’t allow a limiting belief like “I’m too different to fit in,” Limit you in the least, because at your worst you are remarkable, and at your best, you are a miracle, you fit in.

 

Believe It

Creating a shortlist of beliefs on which I think my life is hopefully based is a difficult task but one I am continually polishing and evaluating as life teaches me the lessons I need to learn.  People come into your life, situations change, we learn, we lose, we grow, and the lessons are what we are left with and the beliefs are the constants that strain out of the mess that is left of our lives after all experiences happen. So this product is ever-evolving, and I am editing it as I see fit, but I stick with what I say at this moment.  At least for today, until they have been proven false tomorrow, and then I will adjust.

All People are Connected

Call it God, the Universe, or whatever your religion dictates, but we are all connected through a divine order to me.  All people are fundamentally the same and contain the same abilities for great good and equal power to commit great evil.  That is just a part of this crazy game called life. Just as everyone is the same, each person is a unique creation as well. There has never been another person exactly like you, and there will never be another one again. There is something extraordinary about that.  We are all bound together in the experience of life and the story evolving out of it.

All of us have a connection on the soul level.  The human ego has been developed to make us feel like we are all alone and isolated. But the truth is that it is just an illusion and breaking that can change your life.  When people look to their similarities, and away from what separates them, anything is possible.  We are all connected, and that should be the hope of your life. When you look at someone else, don’t judge anyone too harshly.  You are only a few circumstances away from being the same.

Your Actions Define Who YOU Are

Talk is cheap. What you do is the definition of your character.  I have heard the soft and sympathetic words that were worth absolutely nothing but have been blessed by the actions of many great people.  Saying you are something means nothing. Being that thing means everything.  Each day all people are faced with a large number of choices, be positive or negative. Loving or fearful. Kind or judgmental. Etc. It is these choices that lead to action and define us to the world. Make your choices carefully.

How do you want to be seen in the world?  Think about that when you make a thousand decisions making up your day.  I have heard people speak about the virtues of kindness globally and then treat people in their day-to-day life in a very mean and judgmental fashion.  What type of person are they? Kind or mean? Words say kind things, but actions are callous and cold to human understanding. Your actions are mean, selfish, and insensitive, then that is what you are.  The good news is anyone can change at any moment and become a better version of themselves. Let your actions be a ringing endorsement of your character, not a condemnation.

Thinking Positively Leads to Positive Results

Bad stuff happens to everyone at some point in life. How you deal with it is essential to the quality of your life and those around you.  Life is full of things that you define subjectively as good or bad. Our attitude about these events is what will determine our lives.  Look at the good in all situations.  You may not be able to see it at first but ask yourself, “How can this make me better?” or “What is this situation trying to teach me?”  The truth is no situation is positive or negative. There is a little of both in everything.  It is up to you to find it.  How well you make these choices defined how happy you are in life.

Defining things as positives allows you to enjoy life more, be healthier, and support those you love. At the same time, negative thinking is defeatist and will supply you with the exact opposite. As I mentioned above, you choose every day to be positive or negative in this world.  Positive thinking will lead to positive results in your life. How much positivism do you prefer?

All People Have Value

This is difficult to remember sometimes when I am angry or someone has hurt me, but that doesn’t change the fact that I believe this is true.  People live differently, make poor decisions, and look differently, but inside they all have value.   All that separates any of us from the circumstances of another is mere chance.  At our core, we are all beings of love. Therefore, understand and giving love is the most important thing.

Every person is a teacher and a learner. You can learn something from everyone. A valuable lesson can come from a simple conversation or just in observation of someone living their life. I don’t look in judgment but in understanding and appreciation of what their experience brings. For example, Victor Frankel was a Holocaust survivor who didn’t let the worst experience of his life dim his hope for humanity. I take that lesson and apply it to my life all the time. If he could remain positive, what excuse do I have to feel bad?  We can learn those lessons from all sorts of people every day.

Action Is Mandatory for Success

Every person that has ever been born has had a dream of some kind. There are no exceptions.  When a person takes action, they can make their dream come true.  Even if that action doesn’t work out, then you have gained valuable information that you can use to try again. Many people carry a lot of fear around inside them, of many different things.  Action kills fear because it removes all doubt. Either something is going to work, or it isn’t. There is no need to worry or fret because you have all the information right in front of you. Taking action is the reality check and a powerful ally to all people. Take action and see what you can accomplish in your life today.

Start your business, ask for the date, apply for the job, say what you mean. All of your actions will lead to repercussions for which you will be responsible, but that is a great way to live life. Embrace all of the ripples of your existence and never apologize for them. If you are honest and trustworthy and explain why you did what you did to those who matter, you have nothing to be ashamed of or worried about.  Let your action do the talking, and it will create a life of consequence.

Forgiveness is Necessary

To forgive someone for something they did that harmed you is very difficult. It can’t just be lip service of saying that they are forgiven. It has to be inside your heart.  The only one who can give forgiveness is you, and the sooner you give it, the sooner you can move on.  Letting go of pain, sadness, anger, or any other negative emotion is key to enjoying life.   I read somewhere that you know that someone is forgiven when you think of them, and there is no subtle searing inside your heart.

It can take a conscious effort, but with forgiveness comes freedom, strength, and love. Choices that are made from love are generally good choices. To hold on to anger or pain is to give power to someone else over your life, and clearly, they don’t deserve to be a part of your life if they hurt you or treated you with disregard. Forgive them and learn never to treat anyone inadequately again.  Let your ripples be of kindness and joy.  Forgive everyone, including yourself, and move forward with the best intentions to be the best version of yourself possible.

Embrace Love, Avoid Fear

All people carry this inside of them, and the one you pay attention to will determine how much you enjoy this ride we call life.  Focus on the love-based emotions like kindness, understanding, generosity, acceptance, patience, and love while avoiding the fear-based feelings and thoughts of anger, hate, separation, jealousy, stereotyping, and judgment. It can be harder to do than it sounds, but the effort is well worth it. Love is a powerful way to think that will allow you to become the best version of yourself spiritually, physically, and mentally. Love leads to kindness and personal growth. Fear is the opposite of love, and it will lead to isolation and a negative life experience. Not many people are happy with their fear-based thoughts, and living through love makes it impossible not to be satisfied.

There it is, some simple things to help you think about ways to move better through your day and your life.  The song below is one of my all-time favorites; it reminds me of how life changes and moves. We do move like water, and you never know when life will end, and all we have is this moment.  Love much and believe in yourself ultimately!! Be the most extraordinary person you can be, and make sure your beliefs allow you to shine fully.

Silence and Space

Silence and space are two of the factors that allow all things to exist, but they are there lying in the background of life largely unnoticed, unappreciated, or even unwanted. But without them, we could speak no word, or we could bring creation into existence.  I am taking a moment to appreciate both the silence and space with all of their magical capabilities today.  There is a power in the silence of a moment that many feel we need to fill with some noise to be comfortable. The same can be said for space, and we often go through our days paying no attention to space all around us. We focus on the things that exist, not seeing the opportunities all around them. Let’s focus today on the power of silence and the space in our lives.

Hear the Silence

It is normal to pay attention to the sounds we hear. For example, a voice brings us information, a song that touches our soul, the dialogue in our favorite shows,  or just the sounds all around us. But to focus on the silence all around us makes all of these sounds possible. Pay attention to the quiet and ignore the sounds for just a short time every day.  When you pay attention to the outer silence, you pay attention to the extreme silence. You create an inner silence inside of yourself.  This allows your mind to become still.

By bringing your mind to stillness, you can see and feel everything around you calmly. The outer silence creates the palate for sound to come into being. The inner silence provides a canvas for the clear internal words and noises to be spoken as well. Honest thoughts of value can come to you out of the silence of your mind. The answers to questions asked, the route to find your happiness. Stillness inside starts with paying attention to the silence without. You can’t pay attention to outer silence and not become still inside, and that contains within it the possibilities of all things.

Wide Open Spaces

For anything to come into being, there has to be a space for it to exist. The power and value of a room are not the four walls but the space inside the walls. It is the same for everything and every place else. It is the absence of things that creates the potential of our world. A blank page is an ultimate playground for great.

Do you see an empty room or a room full of potential?

art of all kinds, writing a story, a thought, or drawing a picture. The space we see is the potential for everything to exist. Space itself has no actual existence, but it allows all other things to exist.

Become acutely aware of the space all around you. If you look closely, you will become aware of the space and the feeling of no thinking, which allows all thoughts to come into your head. Look at the nothing in the room and see its potential. You might see the potential in the space inside you as well—space for creation, caring, and kindness.  There is no limit on the number of these things you can create. Like the silence, space is still and infinite in potential. Look for your creations in the space in your life. It can be shaped into what you need or desire to create.

Connections

Both space and silence allow you to calm and silence your thoughts and allow for the things inside you that are a gift to the world to rise to the top and be shared with all. The cap on the bottle can be removed by becoming still with the silence or empty like space. It allows for things to come out hidden by the sounds or lost behind the things that we already are occupied with. Change your focus from the sounds you hear or the things you see to the silence behind the sound and the space surrounding everything in the world.  This observation is a doorway to creativity and understanding yourself.

“Space and silence are two aspects of the same thing. The same no-thing. They are externalization of inner space and inner silence, which is stillness: the infinitely creative womb of all existence.” – Eckhart Tolle. 

“Let silence take you to the core of life.” ― Rumi

“Never say anything that doesn’t improve on silence.” ― Richard Yates

Magic Words

Your Words are Magic
Your Words are Magic

In the stories I was read as a child, there were many mentions of magic words and spells that would immediately change someone’s life or grant them a wish they desired. I never really understood that there are magic phrases that we can use every day that will have a profound positive effect on our lives and the lives of those around us, just like those stories. The best news is that you can start using them today, right now, this very second and see almost immediate results. These are four phrases that can change your life. They are part of something called Ho’oponopono.

“Thank You”

This is the first phrase, and hopefully, you are using this each day to show your appreciation and thank yougratitude for all that you have been fortunate enough to experience in life.  There is magic in this phrase because if you use it sincerely, you show someone you value how much they mean to you.

Take a moment and think of the time someone has thanked you for something. It makes you feel good, and most people want to pass that good feeling on. Being grateful will open the doors for more in your life, and thank you is the phrase that expresses this gratitude to everyone else in the world. Look for opportunities today to make sure you thank people for even the littlest kindness. It can change your outlook for the entire day.

“I’m sorry.”

These can be the two most difficult words to say, and I think that is what makes them so powerful. Putting im sorryyour emotions aside and focusing on how your behavior, thoughts, or words have harmed another is very powerful. Looking at life through someone else’s lens allows empathy, understanding, and compassion. Being sorry doesn’t mean you are wrong. But, it means that you understand how your actions have negatively affected someone else. Only healing and personal growth can come from the sincere use of these magic words.

“Please Forgive Me”

Forgiveness is one of the powers of the universe. It is healthy and creates positive energy. Asking for prayerforgive-me-2forgiveness is a robust recognition that you have hurt someone and you care enough about them to desire to continue the relationship.

Granting forgiveness is a gift you give yourself. Even though someone has wronged you, until you forgive and let those negative emotions go, they will be harming you. It isn’t an acceptance that what someone else did was right or wrong, and it is an acceptance that you are no longer going to let the actions of another control your life or feelings anymore. This phrase can have a profound effect when you ask it of yourself.

“I Love You”

In all things, there is a simple choice between fear and love. However, when you choose to express love, it will change the way you experience the world. Love for another, love for yourself, love for life are all great examples of this.

Love is a  complex emotion and brings with it many levels of intensity. However, in whatever form, there is nothing negative that the sincere expression of love can bring. Only a life that has more positive things in it will be fulfilling.  Love is the only natural religion the world needs; if everyone practiced it, there would be nothing but cooperation, acceptance, and understanding. The result would be a world full of happiness and contentment.

Use Them Today Challenge

So there you have it, four phrases that can change your life today. All you have to do is use them. The challenge for you is to try to use them all today. Consciously look for a situation where you can use these phrases and notice the results. Experience the magic for yourself.