Sorry- feeling distressed, especially through sympathy with someone else’s misfortune.
In the game we played as kids, some never learn the value of the word sorry.
Life is a continual path of choices. Each person will make many choices every day, from when to get up in the morning to what they eat that day. As we move along that path, there will be opportunities to do good things or bad things. To choose to be kind and considerate of others or to make decisions with our own self-interest at heart. All people are going to make decisions they are not proud of at some point. It is part of being human. Recognizing the wrong you perceive is difficult, but we all have the power to make it right. Say, “I’m sorry.” This is the first step in making things right for you. It all starts with a conscious awareness of the things you have done and do which actually cause harm to others. Your thoughts will reveal your emotions about the things you have done, the words you have or have not used because of them, and the actions you have or have not taken. I’m sorry is an important place to start when building understanding.
Sorry About My Pride
Pride is a feeling we all have, and it can be a positive thing, but sometimes we let it get in the way. There are people out there with such fragile egos that admitting they made even the tiniest of mistakes is a threat to their whole identity. Don’t be one of these people. It is your ego, or your false self, speaking these words. Never be too proud to say you are sorry.
Good people make bad choices all the time. That is a part of the process of life called learning. Be conscious of your choices and the way they affect other people. Seeing that your decision hurts someone else isn’t an indictment of you and your character. It is a recognition of humanity in someone else. I’m sorry is a way to state express your understanding of the pain in another person. You see them, understand them, and will try to help them. It is a simple matter of putting someone else’s well-being ahead of your own. It costs nothing, so don’t be too proud to use this phrase.
How Can I Make It Right
Along with the honest sentiment of being sorry for your choice or action, the question should be; How can I make it right? For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, and we learn this from physics. It is true in other parts of life too. Hopefully, when you have hurt someone or made a poor choice, there is a way to make it right. Even the worst of behaviors can be atoned for in some way. It starts by taking responsibility for yourself and your behavior and working toward doing what is right.
Most often, the thing to do is to stop doing the thing that is hurting someone else. That is the moment of choice because either you will put someone else ahead of yourself or are not. I’m sorry it loses its power if clearly, you are not sorry enough to change your behavior. If you are the source of someone’s misfortune, then show your contrition by stopping that behavior. Stop making the same mistake over and over again. Use them to discover how to live a better life.
Sorry Doesn’t Fix Everything.
Simply saying that you are sorry doesn’t fix everything, and even bargaining a manner to make things right might not do the trick. Having feelings about remorse in the way you treated someone is the first step in your humanity. And who says it is your job to fix everything. We can do the only thing to try to become a little bit better a person than we were yesterday. To leave a little more joy in the world and less anger and pain. To understand where you were wrong, the mistakes you made, intentional or unintentional, and sorry for them. You can’t control the reactions of others, and who is to say what their emotional state is? You are responsible for your actions and the footprint that leaves in the world. This mark begins by being more conscious of your thoughts, emotions, words, and actions today and taking responsibility for feeling and saying you are sorry when you are wrong.
“If we have made an error, done a wrong, been unjust to another or ourselves, or, like the Pharisee, passed by some opportunity for good, we should have the courage to face our mistake squarely, to call it boldly by its right name, to acknowledge it frankly and to put in no flimsy alibis of an excuse to protect an anemic self-esteem.” – William George Jordan.
“An apology is a good way to have the last word.”-Unknown
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.”-Paul Boese
We all know the old saying about not being able to teach an old dog new tricks, but I am here to tell you that an old dog may, in fact, be taught new tricks, sometimes the method of the lesson need to change, but the lessons can be learned. Sometimes it takes a painful experience and others just an open mind, but this old dog has learned many new tricks, and I continue to learn them every day. With each new morsel of knowledge, there is excitement for some new understanding and some regret for not figuring these things out a lot earlier in life. But we are all developing and need to be patient with ourselves and our abilities. To learn is one of the great things about being a human being living free on the face of the Earth.
Learning is your responsibility.
Learning new things and taking in fresh information is one of the parts of living life that make it interesting. Show me the person who thinks he knows it all, and I will show you a person with no clue about life.
Each day, there are new things to think about, learn about and do that there is no way one person could ever complete, learn or participate in all of the learning opportunities present themselves. The only thing stopping one person from having more knowledge today than they had yesterday is their own mental limit on that desire. Choosing not to practice home learning.
The curiosity that we all innately experience is usually enough to push us in the direction of learning something new. All you need to do is have thought and expose yourself to the ideas and experiences around that thought. The natural growth of the mind will take over from there, and personal growth will inevitably occur.
New Ideas Are Everywhere
Follow Your Passion!
If you are looking for a new idea, all you have to do is meet a new person, open a new book, read a news article online, or stop at a location you have never been to before.
Look at things, and observe their attributes. What questions come to mind? Being inquisitive is the fuel that will lead you to search for answers. It is the fire to overcome your ignorance and comfort and reach out to new people and investigate new thoughts.
It doesn’t mean you disregard everything you have ever known or done, there are great building blocks in everyone and everything, but it does mean that you shouldn’t be afraid to question what you know and look to test that knowledge. Don’t be afraid to grow, and it is what you were meant to do.
Seek Your Purpose in Life
What direction should your inquisitiveness lead you? In the direction that excites you. I think we all have an internal tracking device inside to help guide us toward the things that make us happy.
If you see something and you are excited about it, that is a loud calling card for you to pursue. In some form or fashion, you should learn about that thing. Passion is nothing more than high-octane fuel for your ability to learn. If it is passionate about creating with wood, then create with wood. If it is painting, then learn to paint.
If writing is your passion, then write and don’t care what anyone thinks about the thoughts you create. Do what you are passionate about, and you will not only be successful, but you will enjoy life a lot more too. Seek your purpose in life at every opportunity.
You’re The Best Around, Push Yourself
This can be the most difficult thing to do because as we grow older, we become settled in our ways. The comfort of routine takes over our lives until we get to the point you rely on the
Learn Something New, and you will become a new person.
Consistency to have life make sense.
To push yourself, you are going to have to step out of your routine. No matter how old you are, it is possible to change your course, try something new, drive in a new direction, or just be yourself.
The limits of your ability are certainly never going to be tested if you follow the safe and well-trodden path that routine actions provide. Step out of it, try new things, travel, meditate, read books of philosophy! Try yoga! Push yourself to go to places in the world and your mind that you never dreamed existed.
Learn, Learn, Learn
Learning is a lifelong adventure!
There is no way that I can express in words the excitement that learning something totally new can provide. There is a question in your mind; you search for an answer, that question eventually will have an answer.
Then it will be replaced by another question. Don’t ever stop answering those questions. Learn with all that you have. You will never know everything, but if you stop looking, death will not be far away.
Learn what you can, discuss it with who will listen, and ask those who have more knowledge. Using this model, there is absolutely nothing you can’t learn and nothing you can’t accomplish.
There are questions we ask ourselves all of our lives that can haunt us if we let them. What if that decision was wrong? What if I shouldn’t have done that? What if I had tried out for the chess team in high school? What if I said yes?
There are a million of these questions that can consume your time. Still, they don’t add up to anything in the end because the fact is whatever you are “what if-ing” about didn’t happen, will never happen, and so should concern you about as much as what the weather was in Borneo in the year 1656.
There are many other what-ifs you can worry about that could make a difference in the world, and I think I would instead focus on those.
What if ………..
One kind word from you could make someone else’s day or even save their life. You never know the storm that is brewing underneath the surface of anyone.
Their surface smile could be hiding a storm of emotions below. One kind word or gesture could be the human contact they needed to keep moving forward. There are many words we let slide with no thought or regard for their destination and potential impact. Speak as if your words could save a life. What if that were so?
What if………….
Instead of thinking about the things we don’t have, we spent time being grateful for the things we do have. I have seen people make gratitude lists, and it changes the way they look at the world. Gratitude has the power to transform the way you feel about things.
They do not have to be monumental, giant things, be thankful for the little things. Being alive, a peanut butter sandwich, coffee, or whatever little things bring you comfort and joy throughout your day. In most philosophies, gratitude is the key to abundance. What if we all were a bit more grateful?
What if………….
There were no separations between people. That means that nobody grouped anybody. Instead of being sectioned off because of your age, nationality, economic status, or color of your skin, recognize we are all members of one group, human beings.
When you look for differences among people, you find separation. Separation is the first step toward discrimination because it creates us vs. them mentality. The smaller the circle of us becomes, the more likely we are to have a problem.
This is true for any conflict of every size, including the race riots of the 1960s to economic conflicts of today. What if there were no separations between people, just people?
What if………….
The people who were elected to represent the people represented the well-being of the people. In the United States, the government and big business have become synonymous in a definition.
What if that wasn’t the case, and they were focused on helping people who live here as much as they are concerned about helping themselves.
Should any person in our country be hungry? Should any person have to fear suffering from domestic violence? Is there any good reason that the educational system is broken beyond repair? Children treated with kindness and hope would change the world. What if we had a representative government that represented the people and not big business?
What if………..
People spent more time using the most potent force in the universe, love. Instead of choosing to participate in activities like gossip, discrimination, judgments of others, or worrying about what is in it for me? Imagine spending their time focusing on understanding, kindness, acceptance, and what they can do for others.
How different would the lives of every person be if they spent all of their effort on spreading loving-kindness? Hatred can only be defeated by love, not more hate. What if people spent more time thinking and acting with respect?
What if it is a question that we can ask all of the time? Some inquiries can be used to hold us back or be used as a catalyst to find the best in ourselves and others.
You can hide the true emotion behind the Black and White. Happy or sad or both?
It would be nice if life were a series of clear, clean, and easy choices. That all decisions fell in the clear understanding of this side or that. Where my choices were simplified to the very essence of black and white with no other variance or color to consider, as much as I see the value of these two choices, I know there are many different hues and shades out there and all sorts of gray that exist along the lines of even the seemingly most simple choices. Still, it is a positive thing to see, understand and appreciate the contrast these two colors bring to life make each better. Black and white have both symbolic and real influences on thought and art. Allowing something to be highlighted, enjoyed, understood, and allow our ideas to be shared with the world. When you look at the simplicity of the black and white world, it is a very complex thing.
Not Colors At All
When you use black and white, they officially are not colors, which eliminates any of the emotion that comes with color. This lack of emotion is comforting to others, and it explains the beauty of the image of black and white. Black absorbs all other colors. I look inside myself and see the black can cover everything, never allowing anything else to have a realistic opportunity to affect my life positively. The
This flock is flying, but what type of bird it is can’t clearly be known; it is no bird and all birds simultaneously.
Bright thoughts and actions I could take will be swallowed up by the dark and leave no expression other than that.
The white is an absence of color. It makes your life bland, never allowing any other colors to appear because they would define you and express yourself clearly so all could see who you are and what you stand for. This is an uncomfortable place because you lose your sense of self when all of your thoughts, emotions, and activities are clear for the world to see. It is an uncomfortable feeling to have yourself thrown open wide to the world, and there is no place to hide, no retreat from the field of white. We all need a piece of ourselves to stay ours and ours alone.
The Dance of Contrast
Only through the cooperation of the black and white inside of us can we comfortably display our inner selves to the world. There is safety that exists inside this contrast. Lines are clear and allow subtle lines to stand out and scream their expressions loudly. There is a comfort in this too many because there is a clear
Finding our own balance in this dance is difficult sometimes.
statement about what something means if you look closely, but there is still an absence of color and something with the power to absorb all color right in front of you. These forces working together provide a pallet that can still have thoughts and emotions clearly on display and keep them hidden in plain sight.
This dance of contrast provides some with the freedom to live their lives but never have to admit the colors inside, and there is still plausible deniability. Those who can create this dance are amazing as you look at the images and see the lines between black and white. On the surface, it seems a simple contrast that allows the best of each part of the image to show through clearly. But that is only on a quick look. Take a little longer to look, and you see that those lines between the two are not as clear as you would believe. The contact of white and black creates a grey, and it is in the grey we are all defined.
Definitions of Ourselves
The battle of black and white takes place within each of us. Nobody is completely “good” or “bad,” for lack of better words. We are all capable of great good and positive things with an equal ability to crate pain and to create havoc in our lives and the lives of others. It is the basic struggle of humanity to allow the best parts of
Know your dark side
us to shine and bring brightness to the world, but the good would have no real meaning without the darkness. Because the struggle between the two provides the value of whatever results.
To those who never contemplate the black inside, placing it in clear contrast to the white, there is no real understanding of who you are and what will make you happy, and the reasons for this happiness. If you have never seen your dark side, you will never know what you have had to overcome. Also, there is a lack of empathy for others who lost their battle with the darkness. I have learned that no matter how dark, there is still a light existing with a desire to rise back to the surface. Sometimes all people need is an opportunity to do the right thing to redeem themselves. It is always in the gray areas where our character is truly defined and revealed to the world.
Seeking Color
I am consciously trying to put the darkness of my thoughts and feelings forward because they are a part of me, just as yours are a part of you. But in looking at them and embracing them, I can put them behind me and take strength from them and propel my inner goodness to the front. The contrast between black and white allows this to happen. Through this process, all the other colors of life are allowed to rise to the surface of my existence. The reds, blues, greens, and yellows of life are then able to show their face to me, and through them comes the hope of all things. Love, kindness, joy, fulfillment, understanding, caring all come through these colors and are valued because of the contrast from their opposite. It is all a choice for each individual to make each day. Do we move toward the white, the black, or the grey in between? That is your battle in all of your days in the world of your thoughts and your art.
“I’ve been forty years discovering that the queen of all colors is black.” – Henri Mattise.
“I think it’s because it was an emotional story, and emotions come through much stronger in black and white. Color is distracting in a way, it pleases the eye, but it doesn’t necessarily reach the heart.” – Kim Hunter.
“When you photograph people in color, you photograph their clothes. But when you photograph people in Black and white, you photograph their souls!”― Ted Grant.
“Black and white are the colors of photography. To me, they symbolize the alternatives of hope and despair to which humanity is forever subjected” – Robert Frank.
“What I love about Black & White photographs is that they’re more like reading the book than seeing the movie” – Jennifer Price.
I have always felt that the endgame in life was to experience happiness, and one of the ways that we show this is to smile. Smiling shows an appreciation for whatever is unfolding in your life.
There are many different smiles we share with the world, and I am here telling you that there are so many things that make me smile. I am not sure that I can mention them all here. I am trying to encourage others to smile and feel a bit more positive about life.
Good Things Make Me Smile
You are a good thing that makes me smile.
This is a generic way to say that I encounter many good things daily in the course of my life. Some are natural and don’t involve other people at all.
Like the way, a sunlit morning looks on the trees or reflects off the water and tells me that life is moving and happening all around. One look at the sheer space that a big, blue sky has to offer, and a smile has to come to your face.
Look at the configuration, and if there are clouds, you are looking at a configuration that has never existed before and never will again. That is reality, and that makes me smile.
People provide a lot of good things to smile about as well. A friendly wave, comment, or “how ya doin’?” are enough reason to smile.
In these transactions, I can tell you for sure that the more smiles you share, the more you will see on the faces of others. Good things, a warm and delicious meal, a perfect glass of iced tea, perfectly constructed mac and cheese, all will bring a smile to my face because they are all good things that warm your heart and make you feel good about being alive.
Kindness Makes me Smile.
There is nothing more important in bringing a smile to my face than kindness. It can be the act of being kind to someone else, or it can be the gift of receiving someone else’s kindness.
Try it sometime. Do something kind for someone, with no regard for yourself and what you will receive, and you will find a smile appear uncontrollably on your lips. It is the same when you are the beneficiary of kindness, and smiles are the natural result.
Often when I notice how unhappy some people are, I wonder when the last time a transaction of kindness had entered into their life.
It must have been some time if they are that unhappy about life. Perhaps we need to make kindness a mandatory activity in our society. Who could be against that? Thinking about making a law about kindness makes me smile, apparently.
Memories Make Me Smile
I have memories that sometimes I like to recall, and they make me smile as I remember the people and events that have positively touched my life.
Some are funny; some are just goofy, some were serious, some involved love, some involve friends, and some involve family. All the “good” and “bad” in all of these relationships and memories combine today to make me smile as I reach into the past with my mind.
One of the great gifts our imaginations give us is the ability to reach out and touch these things at the drop of a hat. To be with that person you haven’t seen for over 25 years or go back to that place halfway across the country or even the world.
There are happy memories of special times spent with special people recalled and bring a smile to your face. It could be as simple as the food from a Pizza Joint or a local diner.
The smile is for the experience. Even though it is long gone, the love for the moment and the other people in it nonetheless are worthy of a smile.
“Good” Entertainment
Stewie makes me smile.
This is a completely subjective thing because what I think is good, you may cringe at, but the fact remains that good entertainment makes me smile. This covers everything you do yourself, like reading books, enjoying the artwork of others, and all things in between.
There are jokes, and there are quips. There is the sheer beauty of a mind that you can observe and appreciate. Who hasn’t laughed out loud at a television program or the circumstances portrayed in the pages of a book?
If you have never laughed out loud or smiled uncontrollably due to the art around you, then you need to reevaluate your activities. In the last week, I have smiled because of television shows, music, art, writing, and the Boston Red Sox, to name a few. There seems always to be a reason to smile if you look for it.
Smile all the While
Whatever it is that makes you smile and share your happiness and good nature with others, you should really start to spend more time doing these things.
There is no shortage of faces in the world, seemingly angry and upset about everything. Smile at them because there are few times in life that your smile won’t make someone else’s day a whole lot brighter. So the only thing left to know is……………..
What makes you smile?
Look around you every day and see there are always things to smile about. Simple things from freedom of movement, choice of activity, time spent with special people, a perfect sky, a new shirt, an old shirt, love, something that matters, fun for the sake of it, a new adventure, a favorite activity, seeing someone be successful, experiencing something for the first time, appreciating it may be the last time, a great meal, any of the things we shouldn’t take for granted. Whatever it is in your soul that makes you smile today, do it and share your smile with the world.
I think we are all trying to establish positive momentum in our lives, but we make choices that make moving forward with confidence impossible. That is when we allow thoughts, emotions, and actions into our life of a toxic nature. These things will seep into all areas of our lives, destroy our confidence in ourselves and make us paranoid about life. Each moment will become a worry something is going to go wrong, or the worst will happen. What are these toxic thoughts? In a word, fear. But we can overcome fear with some of the most positive tools in our mental toolbox. In particular, HOPE.
Fear of the Future
Where will I be tomorrow? What is going to happen to me? These questions and worrying about the answers can bring more toxic emotions to your life than you can handle. Many people spend an awful lot of their time, energy, and thoughts on what the future will bring, and most are focusing on the negative things that might happen. What may suffering be on the horizon? Whatever there are, our minds come up with things that are much, much worse. This misuse of imagination will take you out of the moment you have right now and ruin it with worry and fear about what could be coming down the road.
The moment is the key to defeating this fear. Look at what you have right now, for sure, in your life and find things to be grateful about. Do you have some time off? Are there people in your life you love? And that love you back? Be grateful for these things and focus your attention on these real things happening in your life right now. Of course, you always plan for the future, but you can’t worry about it and carry fear in your heart. Know there will be challenges in your life. That is what living is. Have a hope that all things will work out for the best and leave the fear of the future behind you, and you will defeat one toxic fear.
Rejection
From an early age to old age, being rejected by someone is a difficult pill to swallow. There is no good way to experience it, and suffering is the result. This causes many people to become gun shy about taking chances and going after the things they want. Fear of being rejected can stop you from even attempting to accomplish things you dream about. Everyone can establish this fear early on in their life, and negative beliefs about yourself and life can make this fear even more toxic.
The best way to defeat this fear is to stand yourself up, dust yourself off, and give it one more try. Learn what you can from the rejection you perceive in life. Take those lessons and make your next job the best, your next relationship more solid and loving, or become stronger on the inside. There is a strength inside each of us that can push us back to all challenges we face, including being rejected. You know the worth you bring to the world. Own it. Hope again can empower you to be the greatest version of yourself and overcome the toxic fear of rejection.
What if you Fail?
We can take the same route with a fear of failure. Many projects, ideas, and creations are killed before they come to fruition because of the initial fear they might not work. What will people think? We live in a society that has no allowance for failing. Our school system rewards a lack of thinking and the ability to memorize and regurgitate information. Rather than encourage people to attempt to learn things, occasionally, in the process, you will have setbacks, and in those setbacks, the potential for ultimate success exists. Try again, with the new knowledge you have gained.
We created virtually every major accomplishment in the history of humanity through the process of trial and error. The Wright Brothers didn’t get their plane off the ground on the first try. Thomas Edison certainly didn’t invent the light bulb on the first go. No, it was a process of trial and error and learning. Information needs to be gained through our failure to create greatness. Be confident in yourself. Try what you think will work without a personal attachment to the outcome. Then you can unemotionally evaluate the information you gain and use it to be better. The toxic fear of failure will cause you to quit. The hope of creating anything will come into reality with this recipe.
Fear Nothing
So the challenge is made to you and me today, not to let the fear of the future, rejection, or failure become a toxic force in your life. Rather use the power of hope to guide you to becoming the best version of yourself. Fear is a negative thought you give power to, and it will never accomplish anything positive for you. It will only limit your potential and kill your dreams. Even if the worst should happen, you can find the inner strength to grow from it and continue with your life. Fear is a choice, and so is hope. It is up to you.
“Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. The fearful are caught as often as the bold.” —Helen Keller.
“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” —Henry Ford
“I have learned over the years that when one’s mind is made up, this diminishes fear; knowing what must be done does away with fear.” —Rosa Parks.
“I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.” —Nelson Mandela.
Each new experience with someone else changes us on a fundamental level. Sometimes I have difficulty being creative or thinking about what topics to write about. In these difficult times, I remember fondly of the days when I could see a question, and quickly and easily organize my thoughts, and express my feelings about it. I was in a flow and easily able to access it. Such fun!
But sometimes, I follow the same format, and I struggle to form a sentence even to get the beginnings of thought down. Fortunately, there doesn’t have to be a long-stagnant stage in the process of creativity. You can always do something to spark your creativity. We are all in charge of this type of action and spirit in life. Some will fret and worry that with billions of people globally, everything has been created already. But I think that thought process misses the point. Even though there are so many minds in the world, there is only one you! YOU are the only being on the face of this planet who can produce your thoughts, ideas, and view of the world. The things we can create belong to us alone. That is one of the things which makes life great.
Change and Growth Change Everything
I have gone through a great experience that has left an unmistakable and long-lasting mark on me, but sometimes I cannot seem to write as easily as I used to. This has been a frightening thing to realize. I have tried approximately a hundred times to start writing about the thoughts and views that I think are important. Still, after a promising first sentence or catchy paragraph, the ideas and creativity would vanish into the ether as if they never existed at all. I have the drafts to prove it. Many ideas were generated, developed, and lost. It does not feel good.
But the process of creativity at times is going to be a struggle. It may mean you are not true to yourself. Or perhaps you are trying to appeal to a particular audience or worrying about how you look rather than the creative process itself. Creativity is what it is, and the right audience will find and resonate with it. Or maybe you are just trying too hard. Whatever the case, keep trying, relax, breathe. Let your creativity flow from within and enrich the world. In doing so, you enrich yourself.
You Aren’t That Person Anymore.
When I was struggling, it dawned on me that one of the effects of experiencing new people and things in your life is that they change you fundamentally in almost all ways. They don’t make you better or worse they make you different. I know that it is called growth, and without the capacity to grow as individuals, we will wither and die, either literally or figuratively, or both.
Of course, the flip side of change is that a whole new level of thought and insight is at your disposal. Like coming to the end of a tunnel and busting through only to find a cache of rooms full of ideas never considered or understood, which impossible before. This is the doorway of creative passion and a realization of a whole new world at your disposal. Write about the things all the new people bring to you, and the lessons of the experiences.
My Past Writing
Reading through my writing from the past few years, I can mark my development and growth as a road map to my thoughts and insights today. It feels much like you do when you look at old pictures of yourself. You remember the moments, and they are special, but that is not you anymore. You are now someone else. Each time you read a new thought and develop as a person, there are new layers of your thought and being exposed to the creative process.
Here is to hoping that I can adjust to the new experiences I have and find the topics that will push my growth further along on my journey. I am looking deep within to find the content that needs to be explored and the edges that need to be smoothed. It should prove to be an interesting ride no matter what happens. Life always provides what is needed.
I say to all of those people I have met and worked with over the years, “Thanks a lot!” Seriously, though, I would never have reached these thoughts and ideas without you and the inspiration you brought me by your good and/or bad behavior.
So What Do I Do Now?
It seems clear to me that my writing in this space has to move from the theoretical and move toward being more descriptive about the experiences I have had in life. That is a challenge but a good one to try. Only time will tell if my insights are interesting enough to take a look at or not. All I can say is that all are welcome on this journey, and I am always looking for the next person or situation to provide insight and creativity in any situation. I am always looking for more knowledge to share and adventure to have. I have been fortunate to have great people in my life. They all have contributed to my thoughts and my pursuit of being a better person mentally, physically, and spiritually. They have taught me how to treat others by their kindness and their cruelty. Put your creativity as a priority in your life and see what you can bring into the open space of existence.
Each of us is given a gift of a mind on the day we are born. People spend lives trying to develop it (or not) and build skills that help us experience success in many different phases of life. As we learn all sorts of things, from the rudimentary activities of functioning to the most complex ideas, our mind helps us develop goals and make the plans that allow us to make grand ideas a reality. Our brain is our best friend and most valuable tool. It is designed to learn and grow and has a nearly limitless capacity to accomplish nearly anything you desire. There are some simple things that we can do to enhance the process and avoid destroying the potential that our valuable brain possesses. Improving your mind is a full-time job.
Don’t Do Drugs
This seems to be a “no-brainer,” but apparently, many people still find an acceptable escape from their problems or look for simple entertainment. Whatever the reason a person chooses to partake in the use of drugs, they choose to damage their most valuable asset. You may not be where you want to be in life, but the way to change that is to change what you believe, and your mind is the tool that can take you there. Drugs and alcohol are detriments to this process. Addiction is the home of the ego, and these well-ingrained habits are nearly impossible to stop, yet it is possible, and when you do it, your brain (or what is left of it) will be there to help you. When you stop these bad habits, you are going to be improving your mind.
Feed Your Brain
Each person has a brain that likes to learn. You may not think so as you remember your experience in the public school system, but that is not an indicator of your joy of learning but rather an indictment of the rigidity and lack of options provided by schools in our world today. We all like to learn. We all learn differently. To use a tool well, you need to start to understand it.
Much like a mechanic knows the workings of an engine, we should all learn something about the thoughts our brain is producing and how to control them. Some of the basics are that our brain has different parts, how many are really up for debate, and depends on who is talking. It is agreed that there is a conscious mind which is the part we have direct control over, and there is a subconscious mind working in the background all the time, helping us react and remember how to perform rudimentary tasks.
The subconscious is responsible for most of our choices, and if you let it run by itself, it will make choices based on your experience and how much pain one has felt in the past. The conditioning in the subconscious can be affected by the conscious mind with a little work. How much is up to each individual, and how much are they committed to improving their mind?
R.A.S. Improving Your Mind
Our brain has a mechanism called the reticular activating system, which helps us filter information based on what is important to us. We are bombarded with somewhere around 2 million bytes of information at any one time and can only understand and process about 147. That means that much of our “reality” is being ignored. The RAS works through the context of the subconscious mind, so what we hold in our mind is relevant to our interests.
If you can change your interest, your experience changes. Improving your mind is a process of becoming aware of the control you have with a concentrated, focused interest in something. Using your Reticular Activating System to notice the things you want in life will allow you to create a life that is more of what you desire. If you are unhappy with things, try adjusting your focus and seeing how much your life changes.
If you spend your time focused on fear and worry, then you will find more things to fear and be worried about. If you focus on solutions, then you will find things that provide solutions. Your life experience will follow your focus. Where that focus is directed is controlled by each of us.
We are all given the gift of a brain that can help us achieve our goals and live the life we would like to live. It makes sense that we take care of this valuable treasure by any means necessary. All of our decisions will impact the function of the mind and, through that, how much we are capable of achieving. So it is conceivable that you can achieve anything that you want if your mind is healthy and you are using it the right way. Improving your mind is a full-time job and needs our full attention.
The number one goal of life for many people is to be happy. Most seek this outcome over all others, or they say being happy is what they want the result of their choices to be. I was making a little list of things that might turn the tide for you in the direction of happiness. My thoughts are going to lead you to a store of positive emotions. These will lead to the words you use, and all of this will lead to the actions you take, which will make you happy or not, depending on your mentality. Look at this advice and see if it will work for you today to provide you with a more joyful experience. Happiness always comes from within. Make your own within a happier place. The following is my advice to be followed or ignored as you see fit. It is the steps I try to take every day. I try.
1. Never Forget You Are Great
You Are Great!
Sometimes we make bad choices. Sometimes our learning experiences are not so pleasant. These are all just events happening outside of us and have nothing to do with who we are inside.
There is no goal that you can’t reach or success that you can’t attain if they are willing to be dedicated to getting there.
Don’t let what anyone else tells you, thinks about you, or acts toward you change the goals you feel in your heart are for you to accomplish. Sometimes your peers, your teachers, parents, or the world will tell you things that make you feel like you are not a great human soul with endless possibilities.
If they do, ignore them, they are just trying to bring you down. You can do anything; your light is perfect and doesn’t need to be adjusted because of others’ thoughts and ideas. Follow the flash of inspiration inside of you and create as it guides you.
Sometimes we forget this and accept less than we should from our experiences. If you clear all the rubble of life away, underneath, there is still a force of greatness. Never forget it is there, and you will find happiness.
2. Follow Your Passion
Always follow your passion.
I don’t care what you do in life, be a banker, a lawyer, a dancer, a carpenter, or whatever it is that makes you happy, but you must be the best you can when you follow that vocation.
Too many people choose a career because of what their parents or society thinks will provide a good living. Or it will be a safe and productive choice. This direction will make you end up in a career that is not fulfilling and ultimately leave you feeling unhappy in life.
When you choose what to do with your time, do what you are passionate about in your life. Choosing this path will allow your heart to expand, your mind to grow, and for you to come alive as a person. It is difficult to be unhappy when you are feeding your essence with creativity. Do what you have a calling to do.
3. Be Kind
You can either make someone’s day or provide a hurt that
Remember This!
May never heal. Kindness is free, contagious, and good for everybody. Look for ways to be kind to everyone you come in contact with today, including yourself. Understanding is infectious and has the side effect of happiness. You will make the world just a little bit better by being kind.
People in the world have forgotten how great they could be, and they spend a lot of time being miserable. Misery loves company, so they spend much of their time trying to make everyone else feel as bad about themselves as they do.
Please don’t pay any attention to this and recognize the actions for what they are. Being kind and understanding is not always easy, but it is still right.
Stay away from judging people and their behaviors because you will never know what experiences they have had.
Understand that there is greatness in everyone, and perhaps some people will never be able to reach their best, but you never know. Maybe your kind word or action will propel them to greatness.
It is a sure thing a selfish act or an unkind word or deed will never help anyone. Help people when you can. Be kind.
4. Be Patient
Patience is not an easy thing to practice. But not all things come instantly, and often the best stew takes a little time to cook. Understand that good things are coming to you if you want them and take action toward them. Just practice patience and enjoy each step of the journey. It is often the journey we will remember fondly as we look back on our triumphs.
There are a perfect time and a place for everything in your life. When you are a kid growing up, I understand there are a lot of pressures placed on
Be patient, and enjoy what life has for you today.
You to get older quicker, and you feel like you will be ready to make your own decisions, and you will have the opportunity to make many.
Be patient, don’t grow up too fast, enjoy being a kid as long as it is appropriate because you will never be able to go back.
No matter how it feels when you are in high school, good or bad, that is a concise part of your life, and it won’t define your life. It is just something that you have to go through. You may be popular, or you may not. In the end, it doesn’t make a difference in the type of individual you will grow into.
Treat people with goodness and strive to be true to your greatness. Be friends with all kinds of people because they will broaden your horizons and your perspectives on life. Growing up is an awkward, exciting time full of social learning and development, but it is only a few years of your experience, and it doesn’t amount to much. Take time to enjoy it, learn from it, and leave it behind when it is time. Be patient with yourself and your journey. One day you will look back and think wistfully of those days. Know you got the most out of them.
5. Think Outside the Box
Since you are a great human soul and able to accomplish anything you want, don’t let
Think outside the box
society puts you in a box and restrains your power in any way.
From the day you go to school, they will try to teach you how to think. Learn how to read, learn how to do the math, learn what they tell you about history, but never forget that you are free to think anyway that you want.
Think outside the box; all great things were accomplished outside of the box, not following someone else’s prescription for life.
Think creatively, and look for answers that nobody has ever thought of before. Be original in your thought, and you will find innovative solutions. The world needs much more of this than cookie-cutter responses that an educator believes to be correct. Don’t let them put you into a box; you are more significant than that!
6. Choose Friendship Wisely
Be friendly with everyone, and look for the good in them, but only allow those you can trust into friendship. Many people who were
Expect the best from yourself and little from others.
Apparently, friends will be nowhere to be found when the inevitable trouble hits your life.
There will be a few, though, who will stick with you no matter what, and those should be cherished and never forgotten. Nurture those relationships, give them time and effort because they are unique.
The older you get, the more these jewels will reveal themselves, and the false friends will fade away into yesterday.
Most people enter your life for a season because you need to learn something from them or let them learn something from you, and when that season ends, they or you move on. Enjoy the seasons and don’t turn them into anything other than what they are. People can raise you or drag you down, seek the former and avoid the latter.
7. Never be afraid to fail
In my life, I have noticed that I shy away from things that I am not sure about, and the reason is that I am so scared that I might fail or make a
No Fear For You!!!
Mistake.
Never be afraid to make a mistake or to fail. These failures or mistakes will only define the act, not the person committing them.
Often you will learn your most valuable lessons by trying new things, and when you fall short, you will have an opportunity for growth and understanding.
The problem comes when, as people, we take our failure personally and let it define us.
This label makes us not dare to try again because it hurts too much to fall short. Never let a misstep define you, decide, fail, learn, and try again.
Show your courage and character by not allowing your mistakes to destroy you and understand the valuable lessons you teach you.
You are great after all and will do great things; the lessons failure teaches you is most likely to help you move in that direction. You have unlimited possibilities.
8. Stay away from Organized Religion
Organized religion is designed to control people and earn money for specific organizations. God did not create everyone and then disregarded most of the population because they don’t go to the right church.
These are fear tactics meant to diminish God and the greatness within you. Understand that God is about love, and anything that teaches division in any way is not from God but humanity.
When humanity creates differences with labels, they try to make themselves feel right by calling the other wrong. All are right if they are based on love; all are wrong that is based on fear.
9. Follow your Heart
When it comes to decision making, rely on your heart to decide on all other factors. Your head will think logically and weigh many options; your emotions will pull you in one direction or another, usually based on what will benefit you solely.
Let all of those factors pass by and make your decisions from your heart, and you will make the right choice, and nothing is more important than that. Learn all you can about the situation and do what your heart tells you is correct.
This correct action will be true in big and little things. As you develop this skill, there are bound to be mistakes made. Wisdom is not gained in a day, but use the errors to hone the ability not to go another way.
10. Be Honest
We make many mistakes, but always be honest about ourselves and accept the consequences of them.
A person will judge you based on your word, and if you often tell lies, your credibility will be gone, and it is not quickly gained back. Tell the truth in all things, be honest, and life will work much easier for you.
11. Accept Help
Because people are independent, oftentimes, they will need help but won’t ask for it because they don’t want to be a burden or are afraid they will look weak.
Never be afraid to ask for help if you need it, you don’t know everything as high as you are, and it may be that the person you ask for help will benefit as much from rendering the advice as you will from receiving it. Be as willing to accept it as you are to give it.
12. Love over Fear
Every emotion and thought you have will come from one of two branches of the tree of life, and they are fear and love.
Fear will make you feel angry, sad, mad, jealous, or any other negative feeling, whereas love, happiness, patience, flexibility, understanding all stem from desire. Those are the thoughts and feelings that allow you to enjoy life as you are living it.
It is a choice which branch of the tree you spend your time on, spend it on love, and you will find life quite a pleasant experience, or spend it on fear, and you will most likely be unhappy.
I can give you and urge upon you all of this advice, but the beauty of this game called life is that you have to play it for yourself and find out the joys and wonder that awaits you. I can’t do it for you or take away all the risk because my game is different from yours. It all starts with your thoughts, which lead to your emotions, words, and actions. Advice is a way to make sense of and provide value to our own experience.
“Advice is like snow – the softer it falls, the longer it dwells upon, and the deeper it sinks into the mind.”- Samuel Taylor Coleridge.
“Many receive advice, only the wise profit from it.”- Harper Lee
“I think that’s the single best piece of advice: constantly think about how you could be doing things better and questioning yourself.”- Elon Musk
“Know when to hold ’em, Know when to fold ’em. Know when to walk away, know when to run.”- Kenny Rogers.
Why is it that any person who shows confidence in their abilities is called arrogant? Why is it that anyone who likes who they are, can be passed off as self-absorbed? It appears that as people we have developed a society that is custom-made to make you feel bad about who you are no matter what.
The point is not that we should all be arrogant or self-absorbed. Everyone has things in them that are unique and, for the lack of a better word, awesome, and that should be used as motivation to allow you to reach your potential, not to make you feel bad about yourself.
Why we think we aren’t awesome
What is it like to be so AWESOME?
The educational system in America has done wonders to promote the feeling of inadequacy that many carry around all of their lives. If you fit into the system and learn the way that people have determined is appropriate you will thrive, but most people don’t fit into that mold.
Either a student’s talents don’t work on the schedule of a school day, or they have creative approaches to learning that are frowned upon, rather than encouraged.
“Follow the rules,” ” don’t be different,” and “conformity” is the desired actions of our public school system. If students can do well on standardized assessments, then funding and prestige can result. People are not standardized. Expecting them to learn like they are is absurd, unfair, and unhealthy.
This is an institutional dimming of the creative process that causes lifetimes of harm. If you are told when you are young that something is wrong with you, then you are going to believe it. All of the great things throughout history were done by people, who didn’t do what everyone told them to do. They didn’t follow the expected path, to get to the destination someone else envisioned for them.
They noticed their inner awesomeness and worked to nurture it, and create the great things that we treasure today. I often wonder how Thomas Edison or Albert Einstein would fare in schools today. Probably not very well. Embrace your awesome abilities, whatever they are, and don’t be afraid to be great, because you are.
Why People knock You Down
No matter who you are, you have probably met people who are so critical of everyone else’s shortcomings that are talking to them is a constant trip into misery.
It is easy to point out someone else’s mistakes and flaws, but it is also easy to recognize the fear in the person criticizing.
When the finger is pointed outward from them, they hope nobody will notice how miserable they feel about themselves and their own actions, talents, and lives.
It is true without exception, that those who judge others harshly are the ones who feel the weakest and worst about themselves. Hug them, wish them well, and move on.
This kind of behavior is toxic and will only stop you from embracing your own inner strength, talent, and beauty. Embrace the fact that you are awesome.
Even Awesome People Make Mistakes
One of the most consistent factors of being a human being living on the face of the Earth is that we all will make mistakes. How else could we learn about all of the emotions, feelings, and actions it takes to play this little game of life?
Mistakes are the signposts that help lead you toward the place where your awesomeness can flourish. Do not judge yourself too harshly because of a mistake, because it happened. Learn from it, take direction from it, become wise, and move toward your awesomeness. It is there just waiting for you to embrace it.
It is not Self-Centered to love yourself.
Many people have been taught, that to think positively about yourself is a form of
You should!
Arrogance will only lead to bad things. This attitude is dangerous, because if you don’t allow yourself to appreciate your talents and strengths, then it is a short step to not liking anything about yourself.
How many great books have never been written because someone lacked the confidence in themselves to write them? How many inventions have never benefited society because the person who had the ability didn’t love themselves enough to pursue it? The world will never know. It is not self-centered to love yourself, in fact, it is one of the single most important things you can do.
It doesn’t mean you tell everyone how great you are, because you are great, you don’t need to pontificate about it. Love your ability and know you can be great. There is something that you can contribute to the world that nobody else has the ability to do because you are awesome!
Contribute, create, sing, sculpt, perform business, market, run, think and the world will scream, “You are awesome!”
All the World’s Problems Solved
When I think of all of the people I know and the talent that each possesses, it is difficult for me to feel worried about the world’s future and what will become of humanity. Global warming, pollution, ocean health, sickness, hunger, disease all seem suddenly very solvable problems. They certainly are because with all of the greatness in people, and it is only a matter of time before the solutions to each obstacle will be discovered, created, and implemented. It can go no other way because you are awesome, and there is nothing wrong with that.
that admitting they made even the tiniest of mistakes is a threat to their whole identity. Don’t be one of these people. It is your ego, or your false self, speaking these words. Never be too proud to say you are sorry.
parts of life too. Hopefully, when you have hurt someone or made a poor choice, there is a way to make it right. Even the worst of behaviors can be atoned for in some way. It starts by taking responsibility for yourself and your behavior and working toward doing what is right.
When I was struggling
