All posts by Jonathan Hilton

21

Positive Life

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It has been one of my experiences that people are as happy as they decide they will be. We make choices every day about our attitude by the thoughts we choose to entertain. Either you choose positive thoughts, which positive words and actions will follow, or you will move in the opposite direction. That is a negative movement with negative words and actions to follow. It is backed up by research shown in books like The Happiness Advantage by Shawn Achor. How you think can be altered to create a more positive experience in your life.  Here are some simple things to try to create a more positive outlook. Open your mind and see what you can supplant in there.

Practice Gratitude

Before you can be positive about life, you need to appreciate what you are fortunate enough to experience today. Too often, we focus our attention on the things we do not have and ignore the things we do.  A simple shift in focus to being grateful for what you have will increase your mood and create a more positive life.  Being more positive will make your life more enjoyable and even lead to better health.

The simple way to do this is to list all of the things you are grateful for. When you start your day, honestly give thanks for the good things in your life. They can be people you love, your job, the house you live in, the car you drive, the view you experience, the friends you have, a wonderful cup of coffee in the morning. Whatever you have to be grateful for, list it and think about it, and your mood will naturally become more positive.

Cultivate a Positive Attitude

In every situation, there are two sides, a positive and a negative.  Go into all situations with the idea that you are looking on the bright side of things.  Choosing before anything happens to look at things positively makes bumps in the road you encounter to be less of a barrier to success but more of a catapult to becoming your best. How can the same situation be viewed in two totally different ways? Mindset. Understanding that we are developing, learning people throughout life allows us to look at mistakes or bad experiences differently.  That they are not the end game, but a step on the way toward the end game.

There are countless cases of people who have managed through difficult times and gained a skill or lesson that allowed them to achieve ultimate success in the end. You will find the success of your goals by persevering through adversity, not being buried by it. A positive attitude is a fuel that allows this to happen. If you look at life as a game board, you are now not where you will end up. It is the next move that determines your future.  All experiences give us the chance to learn and grow, and it is up to us to grasp the lesson and become better.  A positive outlook will allow you to do this.

Limit Time Dwelling on the Negative

All of us are going to experience some negative things. Still, most often, our lives’ negative forces are not something we have experienced directly but something we are exposed to through society and the media. The media creates “news” that is designed to make you feel negative.  These negative feelings made you feel isolated from others and scared that people are out to hurt you. You have the option to decide how much time you spend focusing on the negative in your life, totally up to you. A person cuts you off in traffic, and you can spend your time thinking about what a jerk they are or send them peace because that is who you are.

Our thoughts’ tenor sends us down a channel of feeling that will continue to build on the initial thought you choose to pay attention to, either positive or negative. Limit the time you spend focusing on negative things, and you will experience more happiness and joy in the world. Focus on the good in your life and, for that matter, in the world, and you will be better off. Don’t let a negative action by someone else dictate your attitude. This is always a conscious choice. Make a good one.

Maintain Your Momentum Of Positive

Like exercising your body, you have to maintain your work on being more positive. If you stop focusing on gratitude or avoiding the negative, or cultivating a positive attitude, then you will most likely backslide into negative patterns that have been a part of your life.  If being happy and enjoying life is how you want your life to look, then focus on these and many other things that will allow you to be positive and positively look at life. It is all a conscious choice.  It starts with choosing to move toward the positive. Life is too short a ride to spend time complaining, crying, and feeling badly towards others. Time spent positively is a good time.

“The best project you’ll ever work on is you.”

“Be so busy improving yourself that you have no time to criticize others.”

“Surround yourself with people who have dreams, desire, and ambition; they’ll help you push for and realize your own.”

The Brady Bunch Had It All Figured Out

 

21

Winterrific

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Winter -the coldest season of the year

winterLiving in Maine my entire life, winter has been a major part of the experience. Every year there is the challenge the weather throws at you. It interrupts your schedule, makes you plan, forces you to endure, and causes you to grow. It develops a toughness inside of you because if you can survive this challenge so easily, other challenges will be just as easy to conquer.  Every year, like it or not, winter comes, the days get short, the weather gets cold, and the challenge begins to not only survive the season but to thrive in it.  Sometimes it is difficult not to complain about the cold temperatures and the storms. But complaining doesn’t change anything; each day is going to be what you make it.  Add the positive aspects of winter to your awareness today in your thoughts, words, and actions.  Winter is not an enemy; it is a proving ground followed by the renewal of spring.

Tough Winter

There is no denying winter wears on you after a few months of temperatures below freezing and impending storm after impending storm. All of us live through this together and understand silently the strength it takes to experience the storm, clean up after it and move on with life. It is a winterlesson that you can apply in other areas of your existence quite easily. Storms come and most often on short notice. They make your life more difficult, and when they eventually pass away. Leaving behind a pile of snow as a reminder that this did, in fact, happen, and you did experience it. You survived.

This is a toughness that is built up throughout your life.  Winter is different from the last and provides its own storms. No two are exactly alike. There are different temperatures and levels of precipitation.  The timing is different, and that determines how much your life is affected.  In my youth, there was nothing as beautiful as a storm day. The town I lived in had a fire horn that had a particular call that announced no school. It was a special joy to know that you could stay in bed and not have to go to school that day. That joy still lives in me.  Mentally, winter can be a strain for a while, and you are just waiting for it to end.  But experience teaches you, and you will survive and be a little bit stronger for the experience. You learn the challenge will end eventually and give way to something better and more enjoyable.

The Beauty of Winter

Winter is not all snowstorms and freezing temperatures. Many great things come with it and make the world a more interesting place winterto live. When it snows, without any wind at all. The world is never as peaceful.  There is a quiet there which doesn’t exist any other time of the year.  It is one of the most peaceful times that exists in the world. If you listen, then you can hear the voices of those you knew, and they are with you for an ever so brief moment.  The sad part is most people are moving too fast, either physically or in their minds, to pay attention.  Pay attention.

There is also the way the world looks on a sunny morning after a snow event. The trees are frosted with snow, and the landscape is changed to something different, wonderful, and new. Covered with a blanket of opportunity.   Like most precious things, this is not going to last. Snow melts, seasons change, just like our lives, it is just a temporary joy.  Most don’t pay attention to this either. There is a powerful and unique picture worthy of the greatest painting right in front of you. And they are busy looking at their phone.  Pay attention because spring is coming, and the winter will be gone.  Leaving behind it a world that is clean and new.

Hope is the Thing

Even as winter sets in during the holiday months of November and December, there is hope that builds. The days will get longer. The temperatures will rise. The easy days of summer will come.  All of the benefits of those easier seasons, warmth, easy travel, sunny beaches, long days. All of these things derive more of their meaning and joy from the contrast that winter provides them.

Just like the challenges faced in life provide success with its sweetness, winter makes the other seasons more savory.  How many times have I felt like a 40-degree day in March was downright tropical?  Put the windows down in the car and felt the sunshine on my face like an old friend coming back to visit.  If you are a veteran of winter, every year, this happens.  The remainder of hope for spring, summer, and fall. The reminder of hope for your life and your dreams.  All things seem possible once you survive your winter.  That is because if you thrive in difficult times, all other times are easy.  Enjoy them all.

Our Strength of Winter

There is a strength inside of us all.  Some will never use it because their consciousness has a focus on other things.  But if you focus on the challenges that face you and take responsibility for managing them, that strength will reveal itself.  Some people hide at home during a snowstorm. Others ski down a slope and revel in the opportunity.  It is all a matter of perspective and what you allow yourself to accept from the winter experience.

You can let it control you, your attitude, and your life. Or you can control the way you react to it. That is a strength that is transferred into other areas of life.  There is a strength in all of us that needs a push to rise to the surface. Winter can be that push.  So be conscious of the wonder and power of winter. In your thoughts, words, and actions today.  Look at the beauty of the snow on the trees. Enjoy the unique silence of a snowfall.  Make a snow angel—ski your slopes.  Winter is the coldest season, but hope for the warmth that will inevitably follow in the spring will rise.

“In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.  And that makes me happy. For it says no matter how hard the world pushes against me, within me, there’s something stronger—something better, pushing right back.” ~Albert Camus

 “As call it winter, which being full of care,  Makes summer’s welcome, thrice more  wished, more rare.”  ~ William Shakespeare

 

21

Silence

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There are a precious few moments that are truly silent and fewer still in life people are aware of. All of our moments seem to be spoken for with a wide variety of visual entertainment available, intensive video game experiences, and the constant attention on our phones. Few moments are free to be silent. But still, the silence is there waiting for us if we take the time and make an effort to hear it. You must do this because it will benefit you in your mental health and help you become the best at whatever you want to accomplish.  Listening to the available silence is good for your mood, too, because it is an easy way to bring you into the present moment and out of negatively charged thoughts of the past or the future.  So let’s take a moment and start finding the silence.

Listen to Silence

Even though our life experience is probably something else, silence is always available to us. Many are afraid of the quiet because there is only you when you are not distracted by something else. That can be intimidating, scary, and even seem lonely, which creates an uncomfortable feeling that people want to avoid.  It doesn’t have to be that way because once you ease into this silence and become more comfortable with yourself, you will recognize the strength in yourself.  There is always a silence existing underneath the noise and activity, and it is waiting there for you to access it and experience its power and strength.

Listening to the silence immediately creates a stillness in you. This stillness is like a pond in the early morning with no wind, and it is a soft reflective pool where the best of your possible ideas can go to develop.  The stillness in you is rare to find and has been difficult for me to maintain, but the time I do get to spend listening to the silence revitalizes thoughts and allows me to feel what it is I am seeking in my life. A chance to separate the thoughts of value from the thoughts of foolishness. It is also a chance to deal with your emotions and where they come from.

Your Reflecting Pool

You are more than the physical body you travel around in each day. You are more than the job you have or the things you own. Those are just things you have accumulated. Some people are better at accumulation than others. That doesn’t make them great people. Great people understand who they are, and that person is accessible through the silence. We are all trained from childhood to identify with the mind and treat it and the thoughts it creates as if that is us. It isn’t. When you ask a question with your mind, someone answers. Who is that? You can pull back and watch your thoughts come to you, and if you are watching the thoughts, you can’t possibly be the thoughts.

When you are identifying with your mind, you are being cut off from who you really are. If your whole sense of self is identified with thinking and you can’t access and live from the space of who you really are.  This leads to underlying feelings of unhappiness, longing for something that you can’t quite put your finger on. That is the true self, struggling to send you a message. The silence allows the message to get through. Becoming conscious of this being is done by reclaiming your consciousness from the mind, and people can do that by allowing all things to be silent and exist in the cool, calm, reflecting pool of your existence.

How to Focus on What You are doing

The focus starts when a person stops Identifying with their thoughts all the time. Our minds are great tools we should use to solve problems, help create things, and weigh our decisions’ value. It is not who we are, and neither are the thoughts we think. Drawback and look at your thoughts. Take five minutes and without a filter, write down everything you think. How many of your thoughts are repeated, or useless, or both. Notice the tenor of your thoughts. Are they kind? Helpful? Mean? Judgmental? Let your thoughts slide by you without reacting to them and their power. Choose to pay attention to the thoughts that honor you and represent what you want them to.  Once you let them go, you can find the silence.

Silence is found in between thoughts and emotions. Take time and see how you feel about things. What are you avoiding, denying, or resisting in life? When you see yourself feeling unease or nervous about something, that is something you should deal with. Search your soul, search your mind in the quiet spaces, and it is at this point your journey to self-discovery and personal growth. It all begins with the silence. Take time to find the calm and silence in your everyday life and see what secrets it holds for your life.

“Silence is a source of great strength.”- Lao Tzu.

“He who does not understand your silence will probably not understand your words.”- Elbert Hubbard.

“The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenements halls and whispered in the sounds of silence.”- Paul Simon.

21

Potential

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A thing that may happen or be the case.

PossibilityWhen you wake up in the morning, the power of possibility surrounds you.  There is no telling what the day may hold. There is an unlimited potential that exists every day, which you can use or squander, depending on your focus, thoughts, and beliefs about life.  This may be the day that all of your wishes come true. This may be when accomplishments are achieved, battles long fought are ended, or dreams are realized. If we all focused on what possibilities today hold, no one would ever sleep in.  Put the concept of possibility securely in your consciousness today in all of your thoughts, words, and actions.

The Simple Choice of Possibility

At each moment of the day, you will have a choice of what you see.  Either it is going to be the same old thing, or there is a possibility for more. The key possibilityingredient for seeing things differently is imagination and visualization.  This is how you create the thought about what you would like to experience and place it into action through belief and possibility.  It is an easy thing to move through your day in the same manner you always have, and of course, you will get the same results.  That is a choice.

The thing about choice is that on the other side of the thing you always do is located the thing you never do.  That is a possibility of everything.  Think about this, sadness has the possibility of happiness, poor has the possibility of rich, fear has the possibility of love, all things bring the opposite possibility with them, and it is all due to the choice you make today. So don’t sit in a dark room of unhappiness when the light of possibility surrounds you, and making a different choice will bring that light into your life.

Open to Possibility of Change

Sometimes the fear of what might be is greater than the pain that today holds for people. If life is difficult or painful, it is easier to deal with the known than to undertake a possibility you are not sure of.  Even if the possibility is great, fear of change can stop you.  Change is a constant and possibilityinevitable part of life.  Like anything in nature, we are continually growing, aging, and moving through our own life cycle. No matter how you try to stop it, change is going to come.

Embrace the possibility of change because things are going to change anyway. You might try to move the changes in a way you would enjoy.  Eckart Tolle suggests in his book, The Power of Now, that you should face everything that happens in a day as if you chose it. Rather than being resistant, be accepting and embrace the possibility of what is happening.  For the simple reason, what is happening, is indeed happening, resisting it borders on insanity.  Embrace the possibility that change is bringing you.

Be Open To Possibility

Today will bring with it a multitude of choices that you will make. Instead of allowing your subconscious to make decisions for you, be conscious and possibilityaware of the decisions you make and the possibility that exists with them that you are not tapping into.  Is it because you are afraid? Is it because you lack confidence? Is it because you don’t deserve it? Overcoming these barriers is the doorway to the possibility that exists each day.

Recognize the chance that you have to achieve things right now.  Be conscious of your thoughts about the possibility, your words about it, and your actions toward it if you do the same things each day and expect a different result; that is the definition of insanity.  Are there areas of your life, career, relationships, or health that you would like to change? The possibility for this exists in every moment of your life. On the other side of impossibility is a possibility.

“Without leaps of imagination or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.” ― Gloria Steinem.

 

21

Responsible

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responsibleI have failed to be responsible in many ways throughout my life. I have been selfish, short-sighted, greedy, and petty many times. These experiences have led me to the conclusion that I needed to become responsible for my actions in the world and the energy that surrounded my actions or lack of action.

I am Responsible for My Actions

There were too many times when I didn’t do anything productive in my life. responsibleI spent my time just entertaining myself to get through the day. Watch this, buy that, listen to another thing but ignore the actions you could take that actually provide value and contribute to a better world. As you get older, you start to understand that this game of life we are in does have a time limit, and all of the time you waste on selfish endeavors is permanently passing you by.

You have a responsibility to your life to act. There is a choice of what those actions will look like and what they will accomplish, but there is no choice that you are responsible for the results of your choices. You choose to gossip, understand the negative results that energy will bring to your life. When you choose to treat someone poorly in business, you are choosing to reap the cost of that action in your life.  You are responsible for all of the choices that you make.

Manage Your Time be Responsible

Manage your time wisely, and that means two things to me. First, you realize that time is finite, and every moment that passes is precious and provides an opportunity for you to do something great or do nothing at all. The responsi lepossibility exists for all things, and the person who decides what those things are is you.

Secondly, I think that the game could be over at any moment. One of the things that life doesn’t give you is an expiration date. The game of life could be over today, right now at this moment. Understanding this truly will make a person want to leave nothing undone. There is no guarantee that tomorrow will come, so get done today what you can contribute.  All you can manage really is the moment that you are in.

Don’t Look Back

don't look backThere is no way to go back in time and change the mistakes you have made. As much as you would like to, it isn’t possible. Accept responsibility for your actions by learning from your mistakes and moving forward with all of your experience, and try to make the world a little bit better by doing so. You are responsible for this in your life, and nobody else can help you.

“The price of greatness is responsibility.”- Winston Churchill

“Accepting complete responsibility for your life means that you refuse to make excuses or blame others for anything in your life that you’re not happy about.” – Brian Tracy

“Accept the terrible responsibility of life with eyes wide open.” – Jordan Peterson

“Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home, it’s your responsibility to love it or change it.” – Chuck Palahniuk

 

21

Giving

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GivingTo give completely is one of the best things that you can do for your well-being. Giving completely means that you expect absolutely nothing in return. Whether it is money, love, or kindness, giving without expecting a return will change your life more than anyone who receives something from you.  Think about the energy that you are giving today. Is it positive? Or is it something else?

There Is A Joy in Giving

giving
There is a joy that comes from giving.

One of the most significant benefits that come from giving is the feeling that you get inside. There is a joy inside you that comes out when a gift is given, and you know that someone has received something valuable and cherished you were responsible for creating.  This feeling of happiness stays with you. There is a huge difference between giving freely and what happens during the holiday season. Give free gifts, be grateful for the gifts you get from others. Giving doesn’t come out of obligation or for status. That is not giving, that is a job.

Giving Connects Us

givingWhen you give to someone, there is a natural closeness that develops between yourself and the receiver. It doesn’t matter if it is a person or an organization. When you give a gift, there is a natural connection and interest in the welfare of that entity that exists.

I think that often at Christmas time, there is a lot of giving that is just going through the motions, and the gifts are not for the benefit of someone else but out of a sense of obligation. Obligations don’t promote joy or happiness, and they produce a feeling of pressure and chore like a duty that does not lift your soul but drives it down.  The connections built through giving can be powerful and enjoyable and can enhance your life. Look to give every chance that you can.

Receiving is a Part of Giving

Giving is reciprocal, meaning that to be a good giver, you have to also be a good receiver. For me, Givingsometimes the receiving is a difficult thing to do. However, to get all of the things we are looking for in life, we need to be willing and grateful receivers. Having the humility to receive and appreciating a gift given to you allows you to have a much larger understanding of gratitude, caring, and love for other people. Complete the circle of giving and be a good and grateful receiver of gifts from all of those in your life.

Giving is Catchy

Like many things in life, giving has a way of spreading its joy around. The person receiving a gift is going to look for ways that they can give as well. Your givingthoughtful and caring gift to someone can inspire them to give. That can move that person to give as well, and soon your gift of giving has led to a flood of giving that never would have happened if it wasn’t for the initial giving.  By giving, you could be responsible for a chain reaction of love that flows through many different gifting opportunities.

Giving is an act that is beneficial to all parties involved. If you are looking for ways to build wealth, then giving freely is a great way to get the energy of abundance flowing your way. The alternative is to live in a feeling of scarcity, and it is impossible to build anything substantial from that mindset. Give with a free heart, and receive the same way, and you will have a happier and more enjoyable experience in life.

 “For it is in giving that we receive.” ―St. Francis of Assisi

“Happiness doesn’t result from what we get, but from what we give.” ―Ben Carson

“It is every man’s obligation to put back into the world at least the equivalent of what he takes out of it.” ―Albert Einstein

 

21

Hopeful

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hopeTo keep moving through life, we all have to believe that something better awaits us in the future. We need to hope. No matter where you_ are right now, and there is a potential for a future that contains anything that we can conceive of. This is limitless.

If life is going great, then it can get better. If things aren’t going as well as you would like, it can improve in the short order. That is called hope.  In a world where suffering is a part of life, hope is why we undergo healing from our wounds to search for happiness and our connections to life.  Hope changes your life.

How Hope Feels

Hope is the feeling that can sustain you through your dark times, mistakes, and failures. It shines a light in the darkness, and no matter how dark it is, there is a promise that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. It encourages you to keep moving forward. Some people see hope as dangerous because it might stop you from realistically assessing your situation. Hope does not cloud your judgment, and it motivates your action.

Real hope provides you with the courage to move forward, try again, and find a way to better your life and all of your circumstances. This is not blind optimism that leads a person to nothing, nor does hope ignore the challenges in your way or the enormity of the task at hand.

Your place is not to sit on the sideline and watch as things happen to you and your dreams. Your place is to be in the game, trying, learning, and trying again. That is how life works, and with a bit of hope, you keep moving forward. It is the hopeless way to quit and stop trying.

Ideas of Hope

Hope brings you the idea that even though things look tough and you face some dark challenges, you can see a way for life to get better. It is the fuel that allows the inventor to try again after a failure. It is the force that makes the athlete practice more than anyone else. Hope is the business owner’s motivation to push forward with his dream, despite those that question them.

In life, there will always be those who don’t believe in you, but the specter of hope can push your actions past the doubters and toward success. Without hope, a person will wilt and shrink from the challenge. Be vigilant in your thoughts and goals, don’t let someone else’s negativity stop you from achieving your greatness.

“Hope is important because it can make the present moment less difficult to bear. If we believe that tomorrow will be better, we can bear a hardship today.”~Thich Nhat Hanh

“Remember, Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.” ~ Shawshank Redemption

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6CzEyXGM44o

 

21

Normal

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no-normalThere is no such thing as normal.  Normal is a word that will bring a different vision to everyone’s mind, but to me, each vision is biased by the thinker’s experiences.  My normal may seem ludicrous to you, and what you do each day as a matter of life may seem out of this world to someone else. The point is that there is no need to appoint a value of “normal” to anybody or anybody’s life. We all do what makes us comfortable and happy. Do what makes you happy and be your best self, regardless of what labels the world tries to put on you.

Labeling and Judgement

It is important to avoid putting a label on people because along with that label comes a laundry list WHAT+IS+NORMAL....THERE+IS+NO+SUCH+THING_8bd8fd_4713614of expected behaviors and stereotypes that come with it.   These labels are just another way of packaging an individual up into a combination that you can easily understand.  When you place negative judgment on people, you rob them of their individuality and their potential contribution.

When I am at my best, I accept all people for what they are.  Each individual will think differently, act differently, like different things, and conform to their own idea of normal.   This individuality is the greatest spice of life.

Take a moment and read a few different blogs.  Without looking too hard, you will be able to find a wide range of ideas in a concise search.  You can stretch your own idea of what is normal and broaden your horizons a bit in that short time.

Many Colors Make Things Beautiful

The world would be incredibly boring and probably not all that healthy if everyone looked at the world with the normal define itsame understanding of normal.  There would be no variance in music, art, or interest of any kind.  All people would march to the same drummer. There would be no unique flavors, no differences whatsoever.

Some of the world’s greatest people are great because of their ability to look at the world and see a different reality than most others.

That is what makes up great art, wonderful creations, and scientific advances.  Thinking outside the box is not a “normal” activity, but the ability to do so can result in great understanding and, in some cases, wealth, fame, and great contributions to our world.

Glad To Be Me And Thankful for YOU!

I  have a great deal of gratitude for the fact that there is no normal.  This gives you the ability and licenses to be exactly who you are and to contribute your own unique talent to the world each day.  Don’t worry about what others think, do not concern yourself with how society looks at your ideas.  Concern yourself with finding what makes you the individual you are and be the best you possibly can.

I have learned the most from people who have very different thoughts than I do.  That doesn’t make them wrong. It makes them different and allows me to grow as a person and take the nuggets of knowledge from each of them. We are all on a journey and will be given different lessons to help us on our way. There is no singular right way to look at things. That is where many people seem to get off track with labels, stereotypes, and judgments.  Look at all points of view and try to understand them. This doesn’t mean that you agree with them. It simply means you understand them.

Today, I am grateful there is no normal and am thankful for all of the “Not Normal” people I know in the world.  I thank them all for the many things they have taught me and the enjoyment of seeing them shine!

 

 

21

No Regrets

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Today Is The Thing

4559365435_16203_gallery_xlargeLife is full of moments, each with its own individual fanfare and trumpets calls.  It is up to us to find the joy to embrace in each of these moments or notice the potential each day brings. Some live their life missing today because there is a constant focus completely on the past. Creating their identity out of the regrets about what happened yesterday, last year, or twenty years ago. Regret gives us a poor present to live today.  Most of what happened is a fantasy anyway. It is proven we don’t remember much of what happened accurately, only through our own perception of events.  Even if you are accurate in your recollections, can you change it? Even a little bit?

Today, this moment is all there is for you, and the more you branch out your attention from that, the less opportunity there is for enjoying the here and now. Keeping your focus on the task that you are working on will allow you to enjoy life.

All That You Do

In everything that you are doing, if it is worthwhile, you should be doing it well.  We should strive to complete everything that we undertake to the absolute best of our abilities.  There are times when our best may not be enough, but more often than not, it will regretbe.  I would only regret something today if I didn’t give it an honest effort and try. If something doesn’t work out how I think it should, then I have an opportunity to learn. It is in those lessons lives are defined, and new efforts can spring.

Regrets come from thinking about what might have been, so the only way I can regret what I am doing is if I could have done it any better.  If I spent time looking backward, I would miss the opportunities for success, enjoyment, and fun existing in this very moment I should be paying attention to.  But instead, I am regretting what I said to someone thirty years ago or how I shouldn’t have done something way back then.  This is a waste of time because you can’t change the past, and if you could have done better at that moment, you certainly would have.  Today I am trying to pay attention to what I am doing so that I won’t regret them later.

 I strive to be focused in all that I do and give my best effort to do it in the best manner I am capable of. Using the lessons I learned from the past and leaving the past where it belongs, far behind me.

To Be or Not to Be

fcd97ac86af9a9d2a31d9bcdc0971a3cThe question of whether our being or existence was worthwhile has been asked throughout time.  Some people have one bad experience taint everything else that comes in their life. It can happen when you are young and becomes the excuse for everything going wrong throughout life.  There is no need to have a childhood or an adult trauma define everything about your current life.  We all have obstacles or insecurities to deal with to see ourselves and our lives clearly.

 Once that trauma drama is overcome, and you see yourself for what you are, a creative, one of a kind, giant capable of doing just about anything, then you will not regret a moment. Each second is driving you toward your best self and what you are capable of.  Who is to say that the bad experience in your life wouldn’t end up being the catalyst for you to spring to greatness.  It is only an anchor if you keep yourself tied to it.  Never regret your being. I know I don’t, and neither should you!

Time to Have it All

What you have is really depending on how you look at life.  Do you regret that you don’t have regretown more possessions to stack up?  I don’t think the number of “things” you possess matters at all.  Although things may provide momentary pleasure, it is just a fleeting moment that passes as quickly as dusk slips into darkness.  Then to feel good, you need to have more stuff.  Stuff is not going to satisfy your soul or lead you to happiness. Only appreciating the moments of life and what they bring right now can do that.

The love of the people in your life will lead you to happiness in the giving and receiving that relationship. Of this substance, I am not sure that you can have too much.  Love is the kindness one shows to another when they are feeling down. Love is the acceptance of a person’s idiosyncrasies and to still claim them as your other half.  Love, caring, and kindness is attributes that make life enjoyable, and these feelings will last inside of you as long as you focus on them.  When the smell of a new car or the shine of the latest technological gadget has long faded, those you love and the feelings of joy will remain with you.

You may be able to trick yourself for a season or two into thinking that stuff will make you happy, but in the end, the emptiness that is inside you can only be filled by the love of people, and it starts by loving yourself. NoRegrets happen when you combine your thoughts of the past with your perceptions of their outcomes.  It would help if you tried something else.  If you only would have gone sooner.  I should have known what would happen.  All of these regretful thoughts do nothing to change the past. They only muddy up the waters of today, making tomorrow more difficult to get to.  Leave regrets in the past, enjoy today, and hope for the best tomorrow possible.

I Regret nothing. I learn, and I live.

“We all do things we desperately wish we could undo. Those regrets just become part of who we are, along with everything else. To spend time trying to change that, well, it’s like chasing clouds.” – Libba Bray.

“We don’t have to be defined by the things we did or didn’t do in our past. Some people allow themselves to be controlled by regret. Maybe it’s a regret, and maybe it’s not. It’s merely something that happened. Get over it.” – Pittacus Lore.

“If only. Those must be the two saddest words in the world.” – Mercedes Lackey.

 “Make it a rule of life never to regret and never to look back. Regret is an appalling waste of energy; you can’t build on it; it’s only good for wallowing in.” – Katherine Mansfield.

“The only things I regret, and the only things I’ll ever regret, are things I didn’t do. In the end, that’s what we mourn. The paths we didn’t take. The people we didn’t touch.” – Scott Spencer

 “Don’t live your life regretting yesterday. Live your life so tomorrow you won’t regret today.” – Catherine Pulsifer.

I made mistakes but held on to my faith……….No Regrets, No Regrets!!

 

21

Security

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All of the things we do every day are to find true safety and security. The relationships we build, the jobs we work, the friends we make, the places we go, everything we do is build this illusion of being safe and secure.  It is only an illusion.  No matter how hard we work to establish a life with no danger, we are all continually susceptible to suffering.  So, where do true safety and security come from?  It can never come from outside of you; it can only come from the inside of you. This is the only place it can exist and grow in any real way for any of us. The human experience is full of pitfalls and ugliness, along with the magic and beauty we can see every day. It is time you started looking at the things stopping you from seeing what is stopping you.  It is your limiting beliefs.

Overcoming Limiting Beliefs

Our beliefs have been formed over the experience of our lives. As young people, we look to our environment to see where we fit in and survive and thrive. We look at our role models and listen to the lessons we are taught.  We also are very good at feeling our way and where we fit.  When we find a situation causing pain or trauma, we create a limiting belief about it.  Pushing trauma away, hiding it inside of us, denying the suffering it causes and the pain you feel is creating a mess from your childhood that will affect you for the rest of your life until you make an effort to deal with your emotions around it.

The only way to overcome these childhood traumas is to learn to accept your pain. Whatever it was, no matter how big it was to you and your development, accept it. That doesn’t mean you approve of it, or like it, or forgive anyone for things they did. It simply means to accept it happened, you felt how you felt, it is over, you are still here.  Accepting it will take power away from that trauma, and you move past a hurdle of pain you have been carrying all of your life.  You will be able to move past it into a positive relationship, career, and life. Seems like a good deal to me.  Accept the experiences you have had in your life.

Building Real Security

Moving into a structure of real security inside yourself takes effort and conscious thought, but anyone can do it and become invincible.  First, be present at the moment at hand.  All we have is right now, don’t spend time waxing poetic about the past or worrying about the future.  Think about the future but don’t build an attachment to what has to happen.  Thinking of things you want to accomplish and taking organized steps toward these goals works. Obsessing and worrying about all the things you think can go wrong or must happen will not.

Accept yourself for the person you are. Just like you accept your past, you have to do the same with yourself. Wishing you were something or someone else is a slap in the face to you and the greatness you have.  Too many people look at their flaws and obsess about fixing what is wrong rather than looking at what is right and building on that solid and powerful foundation.  Successful people don’t deal from a place of lack, they work from abundance, and we all have abundance.  Open your heart to yourself and all that you have to offer.

Appreciate Life

Look at the world around you and celebrate what you see that is good.  There are always reminders of how great the universe is.  Sometimes we get so wrapped up with our own thinking we get run over by them.  Rather than appreciating the rain, we complain about it.  When it is sunny, we say it is too bright.  Look around you and see the wonder that is always right there. Feel a connection to it and celebrate it.  For example, you drive down the road and move past trees, lakes, birds flying, bright blue skies dotted with puffy white clouds, all pretty miraculous, but we don’t see them.  Appreciate it all, life is a short trip, and it will be over before you know it.  Don’t waste your time being self-centered and a prisoner of your thoughts.

Learning to have unconditional love for yourself and life all around you is one of the most difficult things to do.  We are constantly getting hurt, emotionally, physically, and spiritually leading to an almost constant healing process.  But as we heal, we learn, grow and become a different and most often better person.  Being yourself and giving that to the world is a true gift. Some people will break your trust and reject who you are. That is their problem, not yours.  You are one of a kind and incredible.  Be you, and don’t worry about being accepted by negative people with small minds and smaller conscious thought patterns.  Be the great you that you were destined to be!

Safety and security come through this path.  You can build huge walls around yourself, but they won’t keep you safe in the end. Only being yourself, being vulnerable, and accepting all of the things about yourself can bring security.  To do anything else is a definition of insecurity, and it is tough to be happy and healthy through a vision of insecurity.

Take action on your own vision.  Your emotions are a clue to what you need to work on. How you feel in certain situations will lead you to the issues in you that need acceptance and a place inside you so that you can move past them into the best version of yourself.

  1. “Absorb what is useful, Discard what is not, Add what is uniquely your own.” — Bruce Lee.
  2. “Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” — Viktor Frankl.
  3. “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” — George Bernard Shaw.
  4. “The only journey is the journey within.” — Rainer Maria Rilke
  5. “They must often change who would be constant in happiness or wisdom.” – Confucius
  6. “We must become the change we want to see.” — Mahatma Gandhi
  7. “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.” — Will Durant
  8. “What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson
  9. “What we think, we become.” – Buddha
  10. “Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” — Napoleon Hill.