When the mind refuses to accept a situation, we create and carry negative feelings toward other people, or we project to have hurt us. We take this pain, hurt, and anger for a long time, and it will harm you. The negative emotions we carry toward others still reside inside of ourselves and contribute poison to your life. Those we hold in anger without forgiveness will cause us harm to ourselves. Like all things in the world, we have three choices, change it, accept it, or leave it. That is all there is. The weight that you carry around because of the poor behavior of others is either going to weigh you down or push you to new heights of growth. You are going to take that weight as far and as long as you choose to.

Our Grief is Weight

Suffering is a part of life. We feel sad, unfortunate, unhappy, disappointed, and dismayed by many things throughout our existence. Grief over a loss is natural, and all change brings a bit of damage to you. Even if the difference is good, a new job, a new relationship, or you win the lottery. You are still going to have to say goodbye to the experiences you have been living. The people at the old job. The routine you followed, the places you got your coffee. All have to be let go, and there is a bit of grief there. The bigger disappointments bring pain too. Those are the grievances we have a hard time letting go of in my experience. The unjust firing, the bad break, the wrong someone did to us. The death of a loved one. The traumatic experience we have endured.

The other person was insensitive to you and said something you can’t shake. The time you were blindsided by someone you trust. The traumatic accident that permanently changed your life. The job you were laid off from without any warning, causing a career change. All of these things contribute to the weight you are carrying around on your back. All of these lead to anger, frustration, and fear that can become a hefty and cumbersome weight to carry around. Yet, we would instead carry these burdens rather than release them with a simple act of forgiveness.

Being Present Leaves the Weight

This moment is all we have, and when you are focused on that, it becomes easier to leave the weight of past hurts and perceived transgressions behind us. Too often, we live our lives in imaginary lands of revenge. Looking for the moment, we can even make somebody pay for what they did or how they treated us. These are all fantasies of the future, which are a waste of time. They only make the weight you are carrying more substantial and more noticeable. Or perhaps you are reliving the experience with regret and thinking things like if only that didn’t happen. Or if I had just been more intelligent, more vital, luckier, or whatever.

The past is over like any other thing you have ever experienced. Some of it was great, some of it was not. That is the path we all walk. Forgive those who have harmed you and forgive yourself; the weight will be put down. Don’t waste time looking for ways

for payback or for getting even.

Accept where you are and look for the way to be the best person you can be, and it comes from living in the only time you are guaranteed. This very moment. You have to carry the weight, but you choose how heavy the burden is going to be.

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.”

“When a deep injury is done to us, we never heal until we forgive.” –Nelson Mandela.

“Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.” –Hannah Arendt

“Blame keeps wounds open. Only forgiveness heals.” –Thomas S. Manson

“There is nobility in compassion, a beauty in empathy, a grace in forgiveness.” –John Connolly