One of the most common blocks people face in accomplishing their goals is worrying about what others think of your choices, behaviors, or talents. How often have you stopped doing something because you didn’t want to look foolish or be ridiculed by someone else?
This is a limiting thought that can be easily changed if you start to focus on what you are doing and forget what others might be thinking about it. You will enjoy life a whole lot more and find success as well. There are several simple reasons that this is true.
Most Don’t Think Of You Anyway.
The criticism we imagine is mainly located solely in our imaginations. People are too involved in their drama of life to pay attention to your decisions for the most part. Want to start a business? Do it and if someone confronts you with questions, tell them you appreciate their point of view and move on with your plan.
We come by this fear naturally. As young people, we find that learning to fit in with the crowd’s expectations makes sense. We don’t get picked on, and life is much more comfortable. But there is a point where successful people put fear aside and worry about how they feel and what they are doing rather than the often misguided judgments of others. I know that it is the fear of what someone might think that has stopped me. Not even the honest thoughts of a person but my thoughts about what I thought they might be. It seems silly to carry fear for someone else’s feelings.
A Reflection on Them
If they are thinking something negative about you, there is a problem with them, not a problem with you. So many people are stuck in their choices that they see their limitations when they see someone trying something different or reaching for success. This is not a pretty sight, so many critics will shoot you down to avoid looking at their failure. If everyone is mired in mediocrity, they won’t feel bad about their inability to pursue their dream.
Anyone who criticizes someone else for seeking to improve themselves in any way is showing their own limiting beliefs. All people choose what they stand for, and being a limiting influence on anyone is letting fear dictate your behavior. What if you fail? What if they fail? What if they look funny? What if…….. These words can haunt an empty life. So what if you fail? You will learn, and learning those lessons may be the missing piece you need to achieve your dreams.
Don’t Play Small
The moral here is not to play the small game that suits you. How do I know? There is something in you that is great and waiting to come out and contribute to the world. The lessons that you will learn along the way will help steer you toward your best self. Honestly, do you think you were put here on this Earth not to succeed? Of course, you were made for success, and letting what someone else might think stop you from doing what you want is playing at your most minor. Play the big game that you were meant to represent.
The world is full of critics who are generally unhappy people who have decided not to find their purpose. The internet is a whole of negative people who seek out the creative work of others only to write negative comments about it and diminish them. These people should get all the attention they deserve, none at all. Ignore the naysayers and feel sorry for them. They are stuck playing a game of ego and separation. They need your kindness more than anyone else.
“The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ― Virginia Woolf
“You have no responsibility to live up to what other people think you ought to accomplish. I have no responsibility to be like they expect me to be. It’s their mistake, not my failing.” ― Richard P. Feynman
“Care about what other people think, and you will always be their prisoner.”—Lao Tzu
“I do not care so much what I am to others as I care what I am to myself.” ― Michel de Montaigne
Many times, we all wish we could wave a magic wand and feel better, happier, and more engaged in life. Unfortunately, I don’t have a magic wand, but we all can change our mood from bad to good by making the correct action choices. I can’t guarantee these actions will lead to a better feeling, but they might make you a happier life.
It doesn’t take any specialized training or skill to do this, other than the ability to take the actions at the right time. None of these things are beyond you or me, and that is an excellent thing. So find your way to the enjoyment of life and happiness on the path and follow one of these simple steps. The satisfaction you gain is going to be your own. These are methods to create a definite bounce in your life.
You’ve Got To Move It.
Exercise is important. Not only for the length of your life but the quality
jogging
of living, you are experiencing. We are all given a body at birth, and that mechanism functions best when it has regular exercise. If exercise isn’t a part of your program, that is when many issues with your body crop up. There is a long list of these illnesses, from heart disease to obesity; all of them are going to diminish your quality and enjoyment of life. The sad part is that a simple walk three or four times a week could enhance your physical and mental experience.
The choice to exercise gives immediate and long-term benefits for your body and significant short-term benefits to your mind, mood, and feelings. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins into your system, which leads you to feel good in the short term. There have been studies done where exercise has been proven to decrease feelings of depression over the long run. Your body is a mechanism that was made to move, so move, and you will see your mood enhanced today and for the long-term as well. Any exercise will do, so choose what resonates with you. Biking, jogging, lifting weights, aerobics classes, yoga, martial arts, hiking, or any other physical activity that gets the heart pumping will work. Get active and get happy.
Take Actions Big and Small
This is simple advice, but how many of us do what we love as a mood enhancer. Each of us has things we love to do. For me, it is writing about the things I think about; for others, it may be painting, cooking, tinkering with engines, or anything you connect with. When you do this thing, time will most likely disappear and seem to fly by—feeling low? Take some time to find these activities to carry you through.
Sometimes simple activities can provide us with a sense of happiness as well. Doing chores like making the bed, doing the dishes, or folding laundry can provide people with a sense of satisfaction and even joy. There is peace in doing these activities, a chance to focus your conscious mind on a task. This direct focus allows your subconscious mind to work on and give you answers to issues in your life. So don’t avoid the chores. Use them to make you happier, because believe it or not, they will.
Practice Intentional Kindness
Being kind to others leads to an increase in a positive mood—no doubt about that. When you are not feeling overly optimistic, it is usually because you are trapped in your negative thoughts about life. Something didn’t go right, or that might go wrong, and how will that affect me? Will I experience suffering? When you purposely seek out opportunities to be kind, you move your focus from inside to outside yourself. This change in direction brings a natural evolution in mood and attitude.
A straightforward practice I have heard about is the five acts of kindness. That means that you choose a day and must find at least five specific compassion points for others on that day. You don’t have to make them enormous, grand activities, but simple acts of kindness that enhance the lives of another human being. That act by itself will increase the joy in your life and, of course, make the experience much more enjoyable to you.
Retrain Your Mind
It is estimated that it takes about 21 days to establish a new habit. If you are mentally straying to the negative and want a favorable bounce, then start to notice things to be grateful for. I have heard that seeing and charting just three new things every day to be thankful for will allow you to change the way you think. Your mind will naturally start to look for the positive things and let the negative slide. This bounce can be immediate but will also become that habit after 21 days.
Imagine changing your whole outlook in just 21 days and seeing the world from an overall different perspective. Each moment we have in life is precious, and it is totally up to us if we spend it in anger and misery or joy and happiness.
So there are a few of the positive bounce methods that I have used to improve my outlook and attitude daily. I hope that you can use some of these methods too. Look at your mood and thoughts, and if they continually land on the negative, then it is time to make some changes.
“I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter.” — Walt Disney
“Pessimism leads to weakness, optimism to power.” — William James
“I’m a very positive thinker, and I think that is what helps me the most in difficult moments.” — Roger Federer
I think that no matter how far along you have come in life, there are always some things that have stuck with you, and even though you feel that you have let go of it, you haven’t.
To be happy in life and enjoy the experiences that I am blessed with every day, there is a constant letting go of perceived slights, whether big or small.
Today I am thinking about the process of how I let things go and what experiences I have to make drift into the ether and cease to be a problem for me.
Forgiving and Letting Go
There is a freedom that comes from truly forgiving someone for hurting you. It doesn’t mean that you condone what they did to hurt you, like it, or ever want to see it repeated. It merely means that you will no longer let whatever someone else did have any power over you anymore.
It sounds trivial and overly simple, but it is just that, but just because it is simple doesn’t mean it is secure. I know that I let some of my false crosses become a definition of who I was for a long time, yet I learned in the end that what has happened to you isn’t who you are, and it is what happened to you.
Much like a tree can exist, go through all types of different weather, yet after it all, the tree is still a tree, It may have lost some branches and may have a few scars on its trunk, but it is still the same tree it was before.
You are still the same as you always have been, despite the challenges you faced. Letting go is the process to stop blaming the storms of life and accept all responsibility for one’s own decisions. Always.
So what Still Needs to Go?
You know if you still have something to forgive if when you think of a person or a situation, there is a burning feeling inside. It feels like a searing sensation brought on only by thought. Sometimes you can not handle it, but then when something comes on you as a surprise, the burn is still there.
The Universe has a way of presenting you with things you need to work on without looking too hard. People cross your path every day, and the thoughts and feelings that jump to mind immediately about them will determine how much forgiveness you are sending them today. If an er is an immediate, honest feeling, it needs a little more work to find a real solution.
Your reaction could be inappropriate and shocking. These reactions tell you that you are looking at the situation as someone else’s fault, not yours. It doesn’t matter what you perceived to have happened; take responsibility. To com lain or place the blame somewhere else will steal all of your power.
Please take a moment and forgive the entire situation and then let it go. It is not your problem anymore. You will also be glad because being responsible is a good feeling and one of strength and power. It is a feeling that is difficult to describe if you truly forgive and no longer blame anyone else for situations and accept them as situations. There is no more prolonged anger, fear, hate, or frustration, and you can fill those spaces with other, more positive things.
Letting Go
At this point, I hope that I have sufficiently taken responsibility for everything I may have done or been perceived to have done wrong at any point in my life. I can not control what others think of me; in fact, it is none of my business. The way others treat you is because of their programming, not yours. So don’t take it very personally. It isn’t worth it.
In the end, my philosophy can be summed up, that life is a short ride, and to get the most out of it. You have to process and move past the complex parts to enjoy the rest of the ride and learn and experience what you have the good fortune to experience. Love is h d to find in a soul that is worried about revenge and payback.
“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer familiar suffering.”-Thich Nhat Hanh
“Letting go helps us to live in a more peaceful state of mind and helps restore our balance. It allows one to be responsible for themselves and for us to take our hands off situations that do not belong to us. This frees us from unnecessary stress.”-Melody Beattie
“Nothing in the universe can stop you from letting go and starting over.”–Guy Finley
Perhaps the most significant power you have as a human being living on this Earth is the power to forgive. No matter what has been done to you, said about you, or taken from you, that loss, anger, and the problem will be a part of you. Until you wholly and thoroughly forgive the person you perceive responsible for whatever misfortune you encountered and release it from you.
Moving On
Your Gift For The World
Before you can ever really start moving on with your life and grow, it is necessary to forgive everyone in your life for any wrong, accurate, or perceived. I know it sounds drastic and challenging, but it needs to be done to move on in life.
Forgive them sincerely, and you will find that weight will be lifted off your shoulders. In life, it seems inevitable that somebody will do something that will appear to be a slight to you, or it could be downright vicious. Holding onto that thought of anger and holding a grudge against someone will only make you less of a person and stop you from reaching your potential. Bitterness is all that you will gain if you harbor ill feelings about anyone, and your life will be less because of it.
Throwing Hot Coals
Anger Burns The One Who Holds It
Being angry at someone for something that they did, either real or perceived, will end up hurting you in the end. I heard it described as trying to throw a lump of hot coal at someone you are mad at. Perhaps you will hit them, and they might be hurt, but the only guarantee in this transaction is that you are the one who is going to be destroyed.
There are few things in life more difficult than letting go of our anger. Anger helps us cope and allows us to feel like we have power. When in reality, you are giving all of your power away. You are allowing someone else’s words or actions, determine your feelings. All you have to do is let those feelings go and forgive. All of your power is then yours.
Experiencing Peace
It is probably unreasonable to think that you can forgive everyone for everything immediately. Like any journey, you need to start with a tiny step and then take another and keep on moving. The momentum of your trip will build as you go. Slowly but surely, take back control of your feelings, relationships, and life.
What I have found is that when you remove the anger, the energy you previously spent on festering anger and perpetuating the negative thoughts about someone else is better and easier spent on focusing on the great things about people in your life. I feel luckier and better off because of it.
Avoid The Negative, Follow the Positive
It is YOUR choice
Forgiveness will help you release all negative thoughts and feelings that can negatively impact your life. Suppose you spend your time thinking about things that perpetuate anger, fear, worry, hate, revenge, avarice, or grief. In that case, you are focusing on the negative, and it isn’t easy to be optimistic about your future when that is your focus. These emotions need to be avoided. If you are experiencing anger about something, you have the choice to let it go. If you feel fearful about something, let it go. Experiencing fear will not fulfill you or make your life whole. Let it go; you will find there was nothing to be afraid of in the first place. Worry is the same. Most of the time, fear is wasted effort 92% of the time. (read the explanation here).
Replace those thoughts with those of goodwill, sympathy, kindness, good cheer, or any idea emanating from a spirit of love, and you will be much happier. Forgive whoever wronged you for whatever they did and replace thoughts of anger and revenge with ideas of understanding and respect. You will improve your quality of life and the quality of life of all those around you.
How You Know Forgiveness Has Truly Happened
Just saying that you forgive someone is not enough for true forgiveness. It is a start, but to forgive someone and move on, you have to release all negative energy surrounding whatever event occurred. The heat test will allow you to know if you have sufficiently done this or not. It is simple and fools proof. Think about a person or an event, and if you feel any searing pain or emotion about the activity or the people involved, you are not done with them. If you honestly experience feelings of love, peace, and well-being, forgiveness has taken place.
Quotes on Forgiveness
“Forgive all who have offended you, not for them, but yourself.” – Harriet Nelson.
“Forgiveness is the sweetest revenge.” – Isaac Friedmann
“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.” – Louis B. Smedes
“Life is an adventure in forgiveness.” – Norman Cousins
“Forgiveness is the key to action and freedom.” – Hannah Arendt
“Forgiveness is a virtue of the brave.” – Indira Gandhi
“Genuine forgiveness does not deny anger but faces it head-on.” – Alice Duer Miller
“As long as you don’t forgive, who and whatever it is will occupy a rent-free space in your mind.” – Isabelle Holland
“Anger makes you smaller, while forgiveness forces you to grow beyond what you were.” – Cherie Carter-Scott
“Forgiveness is like faith. You have to keep reviving it.” – Mason Cooley
“Only the brave know how to forgive. … A coward never forgave; it is not in his nature.” – Laurence Sterne
“Remember, you don’t forgive someone for his or her sake – you forgive them for your sake.”
“Forgiving doesn’t mean forgetting, nor does it mean that you’ve given the message that what someone did was okay. It just means that you’ve let go of the anger or guilt towards someone or yourself. But that can be easier said than done. If forgiveness was easy, everyone would be doing it.”
“When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.” – Katherine Ponder
“There is no love without forgiveness, and there is no forgiveness without love.” – Bryant H. McGill
“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” – Robert Quillen
“Forgiveness is me giving up my right to hurt you for hurting me.” – Anonymous
“Sincere forgiveness isn’t colored with expectations that the other person apologize or change. Don’t worry whether or not they finally understand you. Love them and release them. Life feeds back truth to people in its own way, and time-just like it does for you and me.” – Sara Paddison
“Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast.” – Marlene Dietrich
“Forgiveness is the giving, and so the receiving, of life.” – George MacDonald
“To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” – Louis B. Smedes
“We are all on a lifelong journey, and the core of its meaning, the terrible demand of its centrality is forgiving and being forgiven.” – Martha Kilpatrick
“To forgive is the highest, most beautiful form of love. In return, you will receive untold peace and happiness.” – Robert Muller
“Forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that has crushed it.” – Mark Twain
“Always forgive your enemies – nothing annoys them so much.” – Oscar Wilde
“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” – Mahatma Gandhi
“Forgiveness is a funny thing. It warms the heart and cools the sting.” – William Arthur Ward
“Forgiveness does not change the past, but it does enlarge the future.” – Paul Boese
“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” – William Blake
“If you can’t forgive and forget, pick one.” – Robert Brault
“He who cannot forgive breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass.” – George Herbert
“Without forgiveness, life is governed by… an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation.” – Roberto Assagioli
There is a skeptic in everyone. The voice inside questions the validity of everything and the intentions of everyone. It is natural to doubt things because we protect ourselves from avoidable forms of suffering. There are times it is appropriate to have questions about something. Otherwise, people would continually take advantage of you. But like everything, there is a balance you have to strike in life, to selectively suspend your disbelief to allow new ideas to reach you. Think of the great things you might experience if you allowed just a little bit of change into your consciousness.
We Suspend Belief All the Time
One of the great things about this process is we have a lot of practice at suspending belief. Any time you watch a movie or show on Netflix, you suspend belief. You know the situations you are seeing are not happening in reality and that the people you are watching are only pretending to be the characters you are viewing.
Yet, people are still moved to tears by the action that unfolds. People allow their emotions to rise and fall with the characters’ plight on the screen. A viewer can sympathize and empathize with a fictional character, suspending your belief in the experience. How many people have seen a good movie and think that a pleasant experience? This is a skill I am encouraging you to develop in other areas of your life.
Growth Comes With New Ideas
I often break life down into simple things for me to be able to understand my journey better. When it comes to development, you go one of two ways, growth and getting better or stagnation and getting worse. There are very few times we are sitting in neutral and staying precisely the same. Growth can happen naturally, like when you are a child, all you have to do is wait for time to work its magic, and a person physically transforms throughout their life.
Intellectually it is not that simple. Without new input, we are sentenced to experience the same old things. Suspending belief for a short time to allow further information to enter your intellect will allow you to evaluate things rationally. Each piece of data can be weighed and measured, and one can choose to use it or not. Either way, they understand it, and there will be natural growth in that understanding.
Stubborn
I have often been accused of being stubborn about my beliefs in life. People like to hang onto the known because it gives them a false sense of security. If the recent pandemic has taught me anything, we have no idea what security is. Everything you know can be wiped away in an instant. It is up to us to learn what information is valuable and what is not.
Growth can result from any suffering if we allow for the addition of new information, new experiences, and unique points of view. I know not one person who has experienced no change over the past two months. It has been stressful for many, looking outside and seeing danger everywhere, and some have found strength. If I can handle this, then I can take anything. Facing this new situation with only the past paradigms will lead to a frightening and frustrating experience. Allow further information in, then decide for yourself what makes sense. Let your heart determine what actions are right for you and whatnot.
Conformity Is Limiting
The choice to avoid new information or, worse, only to accept the point of view of someone else (the media, the government) leaves you with nothing but limitations. There is a comfort in conformity, everyone agreeing on a mode of action. Anything different is frowned upon or even outlawed, but we will get the answer to cure the problems we face through nonconformists. It won’t come through hanging onto the past. It won’t come through judgment, ridicule, or treating people poorly.
I have seen many efforts to force conformity on everybody since mid-March. Many celebrities and government officials urge people to stay home, social distance, wash their hands, and wear a mask. I am sure there is value in all of these things, but we don’t have enough information to know how this will all play out. Unfortunately, that will never happen until this is all over, and then we can say what should have happened, which didn’t. Anyone who claims to know what will happen is fooling themselves.
Growth Recipe
I am for letting people operate at their level of comfort. If the current circumstance frightens you so much, being in public makes you nervous, then stay home and avoid all of this whenever necessary. If you have a higher level of comfort, get out and see what the world is doing. It has been my experience. Life is full of challenges, illness, uncomfortable moments, and fear. Overcoming them is a part of growth, and following the crowd blindly is a recipe for disaster.
Today, try to suspend your belief and allow something new to filter into your reality for just a short time. Try to challenge the paradigms you are living through and see if a method makes no sense. You may find you were right all along, and learning this is also growing. If you do the same things you always have done, think the thoughts you have ever felt, and believe what you have always accepted without question, it leads to stagnation. Any belief we hold without question will end up limiting you. You may have the correct answer for everybody if you suspend your belief for a second and allow a new breeze of thought to blow through your mind.
“It is not disbelief that is dangerous to our society; it is belief.”- George Bernard Shaw
“It is now life and not art that requires the willing suspension of disbelief.”- Lionel Trilling
“The more you can create that magic bubble, that suspension of disbelief, for a while, the better.” – Edward Norton
“I guess love is the real suspension of disbelief.” – Melissa Bank
Giving and Gratitude- You must provide to receive.
One of the better-known but often forgotten forces in the universe is giving and gratitude. These are two separate things but work together to bring a lot of good into the world. The old is replaced by the new as a person lets go of something without reservation, allowing for something new to enter its place. You can only hold on to so much at a time. What if the things you are grasping onto are old, outdated, or heavy and cumbersome. The only way to move to something new is to give them away freely. Then when new things arrive in your life, practice a pure, honest feeling of gratitude for them. This simple process will help you live a more fulfilled life. Develop an attitude of giving and receiving that keeps the energy of life flowing around you.
Mentality of Giving
It is easy to say, “Give!” to someone else, but there are always issues when it comes to yourself. If you have had feelings of lack your whole life, those will have to be conquered. Scarcity is not just referring to finances, it can also be applied to love, caring, nurturing, or any other aspect of life. When we fear there isn’t enough for us, we develop a lack mentality. It is a catch 22 because there won’t be anymore if you hold onto what you have for fear. There probably won’t be anymore.
The mentality of giving is that you can give freely and without fear because there is no lack in the world of what you seek or desire. If you give freely and without a doubt, what you need will come back to you in all areas that you provide. It will also allow for new and exciting things to enter your life. This can be intimidating and scary because change is always a little unsettling. But to keep your positive energy flowing, giving is a must. Give with an open heart and mind and expect nothing in return. All you need will come to you.
Gratitude is the Thing
How often do you look at someone else and envy what they have? It is a waste of time looking outside and being envious or angry because someone else has something you would like. Look at your life, enjoy the things you have, and feel grateful for them. All of us have something to be thankful for. The basics, eyes to see, ears to hear, food to eat, a place to live, freedom, love, family, or anything else has come into our lives. If you don’t appreciate what you have, why would you attract more into your life? Learning to be appreciative is a skill that is not taught to many but needs to be determined.
Honest feelings of gratitude are essential to practice every day. Note a grateful sense in your mind for all the things you have that make your life better. If you do this consistently, you can’t help but be in a good mood. We all have something. The joy that gratitude can bring will make life a better experience and allow for more things to be grateful for coming into your life. It has been a tradition in many religious teachings to count your blessings because you will see what has already been created for you. Knowing all the things already coming your way allows more positive things to enter your life.
The Good of Giving
Many people think having a lot of money will make them great, or having a powerful job will give them respect, but the truth of the matter is that how much you give to the world is going to determine your value to it. Our view of life can get blocked by pursuing material goods and financial well-being. There is nothing wrong with having money, but giving is also essential for energies to flow. Giving is also something that becomes contagious. Giving something to someone often sparks them to give to someone else.
Giving also makes all parties happy. It feels good to offer, and it feels good to receive. If you look at the act itself and perform it with a pure heart, then the benefits of giving will shine through. Joy and happiness are the results. The only way they can’t is if fear enters the picture. Either the person giving is afraid they will never receive anything back. Or the person receiving is worried about what the gift means. Either way, give because you want to accept someone did something beautiful for you and let the process spread the happiness it should.
Take some time today and think of ways that You can give. Compliments, caring, Kindness, understanding, or love are all excellent ways to provide that cost nothing at all but a bit of thought and consideration. Receive all of these things as best you can and know that they are given positively. Smile and spread positive feelings to those that you come in contact with. Giving is the first step in receiving, and gratitude is the doorway it walks through.
“The heart that gives, gathers.” Tao Te Ching
“Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.”- Khalil Gibran.
“Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love.”- Lao Tzu.
“Don’t wait for other people to be loving, giving, compassionate, grateful, forgiving, generous, or friendly, lead the way.” Steve Maraboli
All things are changing at all times. Absolutely nothing or nobody stays as they are right now. Either something is moving in a positive direction, or they are becoming less favorable, and your life is a reflection of the transformation you are currently experiencing.
Personal wealth, health, and relationships are developing each day, and your choices fuel that process one way or another. Fortunately, we are creators and can take charge of the transformation process. Here are six factors that lead to change in a positive direction. All of our lives are an exact replication of who we are on the inside. If you don’t like what you are experiencing, you have no one to blame but yourself. The optimistic view is that you will be able to make changes on the outside and in your experience by changing the way you think and the thoughts you entertain. That is totally up to you.
What you focus on grows.
If you are not where you want to be right now, your attitude is one of the first places to look for change. Often your focus will determine where you are in life. Focusing on what you don’t have or what is going wrong will invite more of that into your life. Concentrating on what you want in life will bring more of that into your life. Be grateful, loving, accepting, kind, and understanding, and avoid hateful, judgmental, angry, or limiting thoughts, and you will see transformation occur in your life.
Where your focus is will lead to the flow of energy. If you live in fear of loss or worry consistently about what may happen, you will experience the worst side of life. Remember, focusing on the thoughts and things you want to happen in your life will allow you to develop your reality in a way you would like. You are either in control of your existence or reacting to the things that happen to you.
Always be Better
In life, transformation in a positive way is called Growth. Each of us has the opportunity to grow every day. Growth sometimes happens naturally in life, but we need to seek it more often. Seeking it can be as simple as spending time in nature or reading a book with crucial information you need.
Or it could come through watching a video in the instruction of something positive. The growth provides excitement, and as you expand into it, the transformation will be a positive thing in your life. Growing is the force that brings your dreams and goals into reality. Always strive to be a better version of yourself because it will lead you to find your talents and gifts in the world.
Develop Positive Beliefs
What we genuinely believe colors our reality and dictates what we can experience. If your life is not moving in a positive direction, then look at your beliefs. Many of our limiting beliefs have been developed through the conditioning of our youth. Parents, siblings, relatives, teachers, peers, and the media have given us the rules that our consciousness accepts as accurate.
It is vital to a positive transformation that we recognize the limits and understand that we can change them at any moment. Developing these positive beliefs and replacing limiting beliefs allow a person to experience a real and positive transformation regarding money, love, health, or anything else.
Practice Gratitude and Appreciation
Another factor in positive transformation is learning to practice gratitude and appreciation for the things you have in your life. Looking at the right things and being appreciative of them will allow more of those things to show up in your life. Be a consistent giver of gratitude, and your transformation will be moving in a positive direction almost effortlessly. It allows you to see better and making a daily list of these things gets you to look for something to be grateful for throughout your experience. The human mind can only entertain one thought at a time. When those thoughts are negative, focus on things that you appreciate right now. Appreciation will bring you to a positive level.
It allows you to see better and making a daily list of these things gets you to look for something you are grateful for throughout your experience. The human mind can only entertain one thought at a time when those thoughts are negative; your experience will follow. Focus on things that you appreciate right at this moment. Appreciation will bring you to a positive level. You can’t be both negative and positive at the same time, you can only choose one, and that choice is up to you.
Avoid Negative Influences
A simple method for positive transformation is to avoid negative influences in your life. It seems simplistic but looks at the people in your life and the activities you participate in and evaluate them honestly. If you have friends that are engaging you in gossip or negative talk about others, it will bring negativity into your life.
The activity which causes you to judge others is harmful to your existence. Avoid these negative influences and add more positive things to your life. Either change the conversation with a cynical friend or change your friends to those who are more optimistic. If you watch television, which focuses on negative thoughts and feelings, watch something else. Positive transformation is as simple as changing the channel.
Be Kind to Yourself and Others
Finally, being kind is a simple method to transform your life positively. Kindness is free; it feels right for everyone involved; it is fat-free and delicious. You can’t get or give too much of it. Judgments of others move us away from kindness, which drives us negatively. Look at someone who annoys you or bothers you and then send them service, and you will see your transformation take place.
Our judgments and anger toward others only hold us back. Practice kindness and send love toward others. That is also true in how you treat yourself. We are often our own worst critics and are not supportive at all. Look at the way you speak to yourself and temper it toward kindness. Being kind toward yourself will be an essential factor in your ultimate happiness. When you choose between compassion and something negative (judgment, anger, meanness, etc.) BE KIND!!!!
“Real transformation requires real honesty.If you want to move forward – get real with yourself.”Bryant McGill
“Change starts in your thoughts.”Anonymous
“Yes, your transformation will be hard.Yes, you will feel frightened, messed up and knocked down.Yes, you’ll want to stop.Yes, it’s the best work you’ll ever do.”Robin Sharma
“You’re always one decision away from a totally different life.”Anonymous
“It’s not about perfect.It’s about effort.And when you implement that effort into your life.Every single day, that’s where transformation happens.That’s how change occurs.Keep going.Remember why you started.”Anonymous
All people bring happiness to your life, some when they enter and some when they leave. Some are probably a little bit of both. But it makes me wonder why some people are so favorable to you, and others are quite the opposite. One of the best answers to this question I have found is that in all relationships, all parties involved create an unspoken value with each other. Even though we don’t consciously know this, we have been making emotional deposits and withdrawals from every relationship we have ever had.
In short, the amount of trust you have with someone represents a high level of emotional currency in that relationship. You know that you are safe in your interactions with that person. What creates the feeling of safeness? I wanted to add a few examples of how you can understand how to add or take away from all of your relationships. Most people never think of this; look at your actions, and understand more about your contributions.
One of a Kind
No two people are the same, and understanding what is essential to
We are all unique and should be treated as such.
Someone and what is not and expressing that to someone is a great way to make a positive investment in a relationship. Seeing someone’s unique ability, talent, and contribution to the world and not projecting onto them what you wish to see is an excellent contribution to that emotional bank account. Understanding someone’s values is a great start. Be attentive to this aspect of everyone you know and deal with to become a more valuable person to them. Who values you? Nobody is just like you, and that is a great thing. It gives you the power to wield. See this in everyone, and your relationships will be better. Also, remember it about yourself.
See How Important Little Things Are
Small things are often ignored, but they shouldn’t be. It is through the little things in life that big things are created. That is particularly true in all interactions with people. A singular act of kindness can make a person’s day and allow all involved to feel positive. The same can be said for simple courtesies of being polite and speaking to others in a considerate manner. These small things can lead to big problems if you practice the opposite. One little unkind choice or inconsiderate act can make a massive withdrawal from the Emotional Bank Account. The small things build everything, and you choose those small things.
Do What You Say
If you take everything else away, money, property, surface attractiveness, all you are left with is your word. Do you do what you say? Or are you a hypocrite Saying one thing and doing another. Not following through with what you say is one of the quickest ways to cause an Emotional Bank Account to reach a negative balance. The building of trust is a slow and steady process, and you can wash all of that away in a quick moment of poor decision-making. Keep your commitments, be a person of your word, and your relationships will find a high balance in the account.
Be Clear About Expectations
Any person will have a hard time dealing with you if you don’t let them know clearly what your expectations are. Otherwise, people will act on guesses and please you based on ideas rather than facts. This causes many misunderstandings at the cost of more positive experiences, and a lack of communication can ruin even the relationship. Either a person isn’t sure of what they expect, or they are afraid to express what they want for fear of rejection or loss. Being honest is always the best approach because a person will either provide what you need or will not be interested in, in which case you know where you stand.
Be of High Character
Integrity is what you do when nobody is watching. This is your inner decency and character. Are you a person of substance? Or are you a person of deception and deceit? Your choices in action and even of thought will determine this in your life. We forget this when we deal with other people as if our ideas and activities are not connected to the way our relationships go. But character is one of the most significant deposits we make. If your integrity is high, you can be trusted, and people know what to expect from you. These are valuable deposits into the emotional bank account and painful withdrawals.
Be Sincere in Being Sorry
Be aware of your actions and how your behavior leads to withdrawals from these accounts between people. Nobody is perfect, and there will be times when misunderstandings are going to happen, and you will harm the emotional bank account of a relationship without meaning to. Open, honest communication is the cure here, and legitimately make a heartfelt apology for your behavior. There is no more you can do, be sincere and honest in your regret, and that will have to be enough. Sometimes it is the only way to apologize and start over.
I am looking at all of the relationships in my life and realizing how I have fallen short in many of them. I failed to provide even the simplest of these things to other parties. It is no wonder that I have struggled to develop positive, sturdy, and long-lasting relationships. I endeavor to do better, and I hope you do as well.
“A relationship where you can be weird together is your best choice.”- Paulo Coelho.
“Life appears to me too short to be spent in nursing animosity or registering wrongs.”- Charlotte Brontë.
“Treat everyone as if they were a guest in your own house because, in reality, they are a guest in your world.”- B. D. Schiers.
“Never ask, “Who is my real friend?” Ask, “Am I a real friend to somebody?” That is the right question.”- Osho
Age is just a number. However, some numbers are much more intimidating than others, and turning 50 is one. It happened to me a few years ago and to a friend of mine just this week.
To me, at this milestone, I have conflicting feelings. I assume all people are the same. I have fears and insecurities about life, just as I did when I turned 40, 30, 20, or even 10. Hopefully, I have developed tools and learned lessons that have helped me positively navigate the aging process—embracing the experience. Reflection is one of the tools that I use to understand the value of an incident. To take that lesson into living my life every day.
Challenges
Life is designed to bring a series of challenges we all have to navigate. Each challenge presents us with choices. Choices that define our lives. A problem may overwhelm us, crush us, and destroy our confidence if we allow them to. However, there is always another choice. To seek the better version of ourselves and choose to rise and live our lives in a way that reflects the best version of the living. These choices we have been making from the beginning and will continue to build until we reach the inevitable end. The challenges we face and the choices we make about them will dictate the experience of our lives.
People tend to keep their most painful lessons to themselves. This secrecy is to keep up a perception that we are in control. Handling all events efficiently and with style. In Reality, all people are just making it up as they go. It is self-delusion, and a person believes they understand it all. There is always more, no matter how much one learns, observes, and understands. The vast undiscovered iceberg of knowledge is still floating toward us undiscovered. There is always something else to learn and more growth to achieve.
Growth
To be your best is the ultimate goal of life. Not to accumulate a large cache of material possessions but to become the best version of yourself. That is where the challenges come in. Without change, things become stagnant.
The opportunity for growth is constant.
Often we become so comfortable in life, just the prospect of change is tremendously scary.
Reflection and growth can only come when challenged and forced to take in new information and experiences. Life is a gift, and you need to grow to get the most out of it. The alternative is to shrink a little each day until your gs are challenging to remember and your passion has faded.
Fortunately, it is never too late to recapture the passion for your dream. Your creativity is still there, dormant underneath all of the routine, predictability, and conforming expectation behavior. It is just waiting for you to remember. The sad thing is that many will not remember, but you decide your destiny.
You choose your path and direction. You allow life’s experience to push you. Will you fight or flee? Will you stand proud or hide in shame? Only you can decide.
I have turned 50 and feel I am only at the beginning of things. I am ready for the growth and the challenge of life. I look forward to it, and I embrace it. Regardless of your age, I wonder how you face life.
“There must be a goal at every stage of life! There must be a goal!” – Maggie Kuhn
“Aging is not ‘lost youth’ but a new stage of opportunity and strength” – Betty Friedan
“This is a youth-oriented society, and the joke is on them because youth is a disease from which we all recover.” – Dorothy Fuldheim
“Anyone who keeps the ability to see beauty never grows old.” – Franz Kafka
“You can only perceive real beauty in a person as they grow older.” -Anouk Aimee
A person may not be able to see it, but at this very moment, at least a thousand thoughts are running around inside our heads. Some ideas are great, and some are, well, thoughts. They are not all deep and meaningful, but they are all ours. In no particular order of importance are beliefs that you might have this day.
Starting the Day
Be mindful of the opportunity today brings
At this very moment, you might be thinking of the quiet that starts every day. It is a space between sleeping and the hurry of the day. This room is the point where a day holds its ultimate potential, and nobody has made one mistake. Even if it seemed impossible, whatever was bothering you the day before has disappeared and been replaced by a small manageable little problem that you know can be dispensed with as quickly as a breakfast sandwich at the start of a day. There is a possibility at this moment that all things can change for the better.
The Little Things
You might be thinking, at this very moment, about the little things in life. Often life is not about the big stuff. The big stuff will come along and are scheduled for the most part, and you can plan and prepare for them. The big occasions provide captured images and are saved in photo albums to relive when the mood hits you. The little things are the endless minutia of activity that fills your lives. Daily happenings and encounters that color the flavor of life. Do you take the time to enjoy them?
Do you savor the taste of the food you are eating, or do you eat out of habit? Are you grateful for each thing that you have, or are they all just piled into a group of stuff labeled “things that you deserve”? I believe that the more you appreciate the little things in life, a friend, a talk, a walk, a tree, some flowers, a comfortable seat, a good book, a hot shower, a cup of coffee, or anything else that you experience throughout the day, the happier you will be. Be mindful of each thing you do, and it will have magic to it that contributes to your day.
The Music in My Head
You might be thinking about the music you like right now and how music makes life much more enjoyable; it touches your soul. It doesn’t matter to me what genre a song hails from. A song enters your life, either make an impression and stays or moves on. I often hear a song, and if I like it, I add it to a playlist that will forever represent this moment in time to me. In the days of burned CDs, I would give them names and write notes on them. Now I write the notes in my head and enjoy the music.
Here is one song I like. Be careful if you listen because it will get stuck in your head—this is one of my all-time favorites thought-provoking songs. Even though I’m not too fond of winter, I love it when it is over. Music is the language of the soul, and listening to it adds magic to life. What harmony is coloring your life today?
No Need To Hurry
At this moment, you might be contemplating the fact that the faster you try to go, often the longer it takes to reach your destination. The other day I was trying to force finish an assignment, and no matter what I did, I couldn’t seem to get out of my way. The next day I focused and relaxed, and that same job that was so difficult the day before just flowed out of my consciousness and onto the workflow. It is right in many other aspects of life. Hurry to get there, find the answer, get it done quickly, and you often have difficulty finishing the task. Much like a car moving too fast to catch your exit. Slow down, be mindful of what you are trying to accomplish, and enjoy the ride. It is often the journey that you remember even more than the destination. Relax and enjoy the ride.
You are Right Where You Should be
Finally, at this moment, you may be contemplating the peace that comes from knowing that you are exactly where you should be. We all get caught up in worrying about something that we have no control over many times. We desire to be successful, but no actual definition to let us know when we get there. Then it hits you. “I am right where I should be,” all the events in your life have worked together in concert to bring you to this point, and you should enjoy the moment. Then pause for just a second, feel a sense of appreciation, and then move forward with a feeling of happiness and peace. Be grateful for all of the people you have known, the hurdles you have overcome, the wisdom you have gained from all of the lessons you have learned, both natural and complex.
At this very moment, you are right where you should be. You can’t do any better than that!
One of the most common blocks people face in accomplishing their goals is worrying about what others think of your choices, behaviors, or talents. How often have you stopped doing something because you didn’t want to look foolish or be ridiculed by someone else?
move on with your plan.
If they are thinking something negative about you, there is a problem with them, not a problem with you. So many people are stuck in their choices that they see their limitations when they see someone trying something different or reaching for success. This is not a pretty sight, so many critics will shoot you down to avoid looking at their failure. If everyone is mired in mediocrity, they won’t feel bad about their inability to pursue their dream.
you that is great and waiting to come out and contribute to the world. The lessons that you will learn along the way will help steer you toward your best self. Honestly, do you think you were put here on this Earth not to succeed? Of course, you were made for success, and letting what someone else might think stop you from doing what you want is playing at your most minor. Play the big game that you were meant to represent.
