Category Archives: Life

Life

Welcome to Haircut Day

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My most recent haircut day, 9/07/23

It all grew out of the pandemic. That is how the tradition started. Like many things in life, good and beautiful things can grow from our challenges. Often, I think that is why these obstacles come into our lives. That is true for haircut day and the monthly joy it brings.

You may or may not remember, but during the pandemic of 2020 it wasn’t easy to get a haircut anywhere. Every shop was closed, and we were just left to our own devices, and it was not something I liked. I have developed an affinity for a particular type of cut. High and tight, skin on the sides and two on the top. It doesn’t matter if you understand what that means, but it is essential that you know that I think it is the most comfortable, manageable, and best feeling cut there is. Imagine feeling the wind on your head or the hot water when you shower. It is amazing. Also, there is the zero maintenance factor. Other than during the pandemic, I hadn’t combed my hair in years. It is amazing!

I have the ability to grow hair, which many might envy. However, time has replaced the color of youth with the dreaded color of age, which can be depressing to look at. The shorter the hair, the less visible the gray is. It is a win for me, and I am less disappointed when I look in the mirror in the morning. All this took me to Farmington, Maine, at some point during the national crisis of 2020.

I looked around Augusta to get a cut, but all the places were closed or limited; it was like visiting Fort Knox to keep your head well-groomed. That is when I thought of the best haircuts I had ever gotten, and it made me think of Farmington, Maine.    I lived in Farmington in the late 1980’s and early 90’s. It is about 30 minutes from me, and that time commitment would be worth it for a good trim. So to Farmington, I went.

I searched for downtown barber shops and came up with Broadway Barber Shop; stopped by; they were open, and although they followed all of the protocols of the time, they were friendly and made you feel a human connection. It was great. After months of foolish rules and fabricated social distancing standards, once again, I felt human. And they did a great job.

I started to make a monthly pilgrimage to Farmington for the same service, and they never disappointed me. Over time, the trip developed into more than just getting my hair cut. It turns into a morning ritual, which I enjoy quite a bit.

First, I schedule a haircut every four weeks, from 9-10 AM, whatever my favorite hair person has available on a Saturday. This part is always enjoyable as we talk about our lives and ensure life is moving in the right direction. After the beautiful cut, I pay, say thank you, set the next month’s appointment, and then take a quick walk through downtown Farmington.

Farmington has changed, yet it is still the same in many ways. I know nobody in or around the town and rarely see anyone who knows me. But walking through that town, I am visited by the memory of many people I knew once upon a time and feel that so many definitely impacted me. My first stop is the Dunkin’ downtown, where I get a coffee and sit down and drink it.

As you see the people move in and out of that place, there is a combination of college students and townsfolk, which reminds me of what it was like 35 years ago when I was a student at UMF. My mind will wander back to days of fall at school and the many people I shared that time with. It is funny how we never realize that we live in a magical time until it is long over. It is only visible through the lens of retrospection.

In a way, I feel very fortunate that I do recognize how lucky I was to have that experience, and of course, like all positive, good things, you wish you could be there again. Yet we know the past is gone, and we can’t get it back. No matter what we do. However, all of the marks, the good things we love, and the complex challenges we face are still inside us. Sometimes they provide hope for our ability to overcome difficult things; sometimes, they provide regret for things we lost.

After coffee, I make sure I take a quick walk through the campus. When school is in session, I see kids moving quickly with a purpose and remember walking in their shoes. I wonder if they realize the value of the experience they are having right now. When school is on a break, there are empty streets where only ghosts of the past stroll by—inevitably reminding you of good memories and people from earlier days. I often ponder how many others feel the same way I feel about this town in the middle of Franklin County. I don’t know the answer; all I have learned is that the roots I put down many years ago still provide some connection to the people and times I lived.

Perhaps it is just getting old or a trick of the mind, but I remember Farmington as a special place, and it was the people that made it such. All those people went their separate ways, but when I go to haircut day, I see them all, just in my mind.

In conclusion, there are places, people, and things we carry inside of us for the entirety of our lives.  If we are very lucky, they are good places.  These locations are places we can touch our pasts, if only for a second.  I don’t know if it is a good thing or a bad, but I am looking forward to the next one. October is a fine month to visit Farmington, Maine.  I may see you there.

 

Philosophy

The Opposite Side of Whole

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Law of Polarity- Everything has an opposite, yin and yang. Complimentary opposites are a part of the collective whole. 

When people achieve balance in life, things seem to move smoothly as all parts of their life flow equally. Unfortunately, once you make a balance, life will change, and we will all have to change and keep the scales of our lives, balancing where we can enjoy life. The law of polarity allows us to readjust those scales more easily. Having all of the complementary opposites of experience available makes this possible. Of course, we have to make choices that allow these influences to balance out our lives. It is right for you and me and all the things in nature. Each experience has a reason for existing, mostly to kick things into balance again.

How to Recognize Imbalance Exists

When your life has a balance, it flows along smoothly, and events move effortlessly in your life. Nothing is forced; things happen quickly, making life a joy to experience. This can happen with life in general, relationships, and even jobs you work. But slowly, things will change, and adjustments need to be made to maintain balance. Physical, emotional, and spiritual forces in you all need to be paid attention to, and when one area is lacking, the ratio falls off. Sometimes the changes are so slow we don’t notice them, but they are still happening. We don’t want to see the changes when things are going well.

The energy of something not in balance will be chaotic; things will seemingly happen out of the air to try to give life balance. Do we think they are random, but are they really in response to our neglecting our balance? When there are upheavals in your life, this is a sign that balance doesn’t exist. There will also seemingly be no flow in your life, things will feel forced, and it takes a lot of effort to keep things moving where there is ease and simplicity. Finally, it will become apparent there is a problem because physical, spiritual, or mental weaknesses will become evident. Recognizing life is out of balance and taking action to rebalance is wisdom, but it also is essential to understand what it feels like when we are in harmony.

That “In Balance” Feeling

There is a calm feeling that comes when you achieve some balance. Things flow easily as you move from task to task and experience to experience; you find there is no effort for this to happen. You are like a mechanism, doing your part in the world and doing it well. This can happen because your strengths are dominant, and your weaknesses fade into the background. When life moves this way, we seem to be right where we should be, doing the things that make us happy. It is difficult to admit when these things get out of balance because we don’t want to change. But growth is a part of life, and change and growth are inevitable, and the way we are moving, we have to be able to adjust to maintain balance. You know how an imbalance and a balanced feel will help you regulate things.

Some Complimentary Opposites

Complimentary opposites exist for a reason, to allow the world to keep a balance. It would be nice sometimes to eliminate harmful things, but without the negative, the very positive lose its meaning. Here are a few of those relationships we deal with daily.

Day and Night

Day and night are some of the most relevant complementary opposite relationships. The sunshine provides heat and vision and allows energy to grow plants. The night offers a chance to rest and recover for all living things and grow plants. If either of these disappeared, then the Earth would cease inhabitable by life as we know it. In the brightest day lies the promise of the night.

Good and Evil

Good and evil are the complementary opposites we see every day. Nobody considers evil as a positive, but is it necessary? Would good have any meaning if there wasn’t something polar opposite to compare it? Evil exists, and all people are capable of great excellent and high crime within them. It is the balance that brings a meaningful life. The complementary relationship exists whether we like it or not. How could we choose well if darkness were not also there as a choice? The contrast provides a positive value and allows for balance in life. Even with the evilest act, the promise of the highest good exists.

Happiness and Sadness

Happiness and sadness are two complementary opposites. Being a human brings a lot of emotional baggage with it. It is crucial to express joy and sorrow and all levels in between. Loss and gain are a part of the growth process, and it would be impossible to achieve balance if there were no mechanism in our emotional makeup to express sadness or grief. We would not have the ability to be empathetic. And as everyone knows, sometimes you need to feel sad to get the sadness out of your system and get back to balance. Even at the most tragic moment, the seeds of our greatest happiness are sown.

The polarity of life allows for a balance to be sought and achieved for people in their lives. We must remember that experiences and time continually change the scales, and we will never find a permanent balance. It will constantly change, and we must make choices that recalculate our social, mental, spiritual, and physical balance. These options teach you about keeping an even keel, not getting too high with the victories or too low with the losses. In every failure lies the opportunity for success.

“When we’re identified with Awareness, we’re no longer living in a world of polarities. Everything is present at the same time.- Ram Dass

“Differences must be not merely tolerated, but seen as a fund of necessary polarities between which our creativity can spark like a dialectic.”- Audre Lorde

“Everything has a polar opposite. In recognizing this in all relationships, we see ourselves.”

 

Life

How To Create A Plan

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Success comes with a subjective definition. Each person defines it for themselves, and the array of different thoughts and ideas on what it looks like is as diverse as the people who think these thoughts.  There are only two options when it comes to creating and accomplishing things. One is to follow a plan guiding your thoughts and action. The second is pure and unadulterated luck, or fate pulling you in the right direction and providing the right opportunity.

Either you take control and dictate what happens, or you allow the future to be decided by the Universe making choices for you. This decision, just like all the others in your life, is totally and completely yours.

There are many roadmaps to success, and I think if the desired result is to follow a plan that provides sensation, share a simple practice to assist in moving your thoughts and actions toward achieving your goals and creating the things you want to see in your life regardless of the specifics of the adventure. To make good things happen in your life, following all of these steps will give you the best chance of achievement and accomplishment. I believe in these four steps that can help you create positive experiences in your life.

 Practice Positive Self Talk

There is a constant dialogue in your mind. The conversation topics are usually repeats of things we have thoughts we have had a thousand times before. 99% of people never consider how they speak to themselves. The problem with this negligence is that we have been conditioned to think negatively about our abilities and the prospects of us achieving our goals. Allowing this conversation is destroying your chances to succeed, and it can be changed.

Change starts with noticing the words you are speaking to yourself. If they change THEM more negatively about your abilities or the prospects of a goal, the Changgoic mind is the over-analyzer and finds problems where none exist. Listening will stop you from following even the best of your ideas and achieving goals meant for you.

If you can’t be positive and supportive of yourself, it doesn’t matter what everyone else does. It all begins and ends with the method and manner with which you address yourself and your actions. Most of the time, we don’t pay attention to how we speak to ourselves in our heads, but that encouragement is the first kind we must have. By changing your words and how you talk to yourself, the world can open up to you.

Instead of thinking, “Nothing works out for me.” or “I am always broke.” or “I am not strong.” or any other limiting thoughts we allow our minds to tell us. These limiting beliefs have been pushed on us by our experience and conditioning. It is up to each individual to determine where our limits lie and how easily we can reach them. It begins with the voices we speak in our heads. Creating positive self-talk will help you override the negative programming of your past. Develop the habit of being kind to yourself in your mind, which will be the first step in achievement.

Set Goals and Write Them Down

Know where you are going. There needs to be a destination in mind. Set your goals and make them permanent by writing them down. Once you write them down, a transformation occurs between thought and making it a reality. Be clear in your focus and what you want. Please write it down in detail so you know what destination you are shooting to find. Be specific and create a target you are hunting for, and w; while doing so, develop your thoughts and emotions about this accomplishment.

Taking something from the realm of thought into reality is the paramount experience that separates human beings from the rest of the world’s creatures. Artists do it constantly, creating an idea and bringing it into reality for the rest of the world to enjoy. Each goal you have is the same thing, the first thought in your head. Writing it down becomes a reality in a small way and can become a reality in a big way. Take the time to think about what you want and to write down your goals. The foundation of accomplishment will occur at this moment.

Learn to Use Visualization

Another great gift all humans have is the capacity to practice using our imagination. There is the magic we experience when we take the time to picture ourselves accomplishing or experiencing our goals as finished products. Some would call this daydreaming, but there is a purpose. To see yourself doing something, building something, or experiencing the success you are striving for is a positive that will help bring that thing into reality. The key is to attach a positive emotion to your thoughts and situations.

Emotion provides the momentum to keep going when things get rough and punctuates the sentence of your accomplishment. If you imagine being a famous singer and feel the rush of action and joy of performing, you can understand why you want to reach this goal, and you will pursue it all the way there. Take a moment before you fall asleep at night or just as you wake in the morning. Picture your goals coming into your reality and what it will feel like when that happens.

Take Action, Evaluate, and Try Again

The rubber eventually has to meet the road. No accomplishment will be created in mind alone. All of the previous steps are useless without the courage of action. It takes a brave person to take action because you will get an answer. The results may be good or bad, but they will exist. It is at that point an honest evaluation has to take place. Often the results will be less than you hope for, but there will always be lessons. The wise person uses the experiences and doesn’t take the failure personally.

It doesn’t matter that things don’t work out the first time you try something. There will be an opportunity to learn, evaluate what went wrong, adjust your tactics, and of course. It is the trying still part most people find challenging. Once you experience failure, it can be daunting to put yourself out there. Remember, it isn’t personal and doesn’t define you if you learn from it and try again. Each effort given will provide you with new information about the process you are involved in and yourself. Use it and develop your skills and confidence. Don’t let the fixed mindset of never allowing a mistake stop you. If you do, you will not accomplish much in your life. All new things have a learning curve. Embrace it. Try, evaluate, and try again until you reach your goals.

Final Thoughts on the Process

Start today, deciding what you want the canvass of your life to look like. Is it going to be a picture someone else dictates you draw? Or will it be a unique masterpiece of your inner desire to express yourself? The choice is yours, and you can get them by following the process. Practice positive self-talk, set your goals, write them down, visualize your success, take action, and evaluate your strategy. In the end, your accomplishments are going to be won or lost because of the choices you make. Make choices that honor your inner strength and understanding. Follow your process to its conclusion of success. In the world of accomplishment, the journey defines us and is often the part we look back on with reverence and a smile.

“If you want to achieve excellence, you can get there today. As of this second, quit doing less-than-excellent work.” —Thomas J. Watson.

“Champions keep playing until they get it right.”— Billie Jean King.

“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” — Henry David Thoreau.

“Potential is not an endpoint but a capacity to grow and learn.”

 

 

 

 

Life

Enjoy The Ride

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Enjoy the Ride

right wh. shoudl beSince I was very young, I have been in a hurry to get to the next destination. I remember being a kid and just aching for when I would be older and be able to do whatever older kids got to do.

This pattern came up a lot in my life, and I am sure in your life too. I can’t wait until this happens, or that happens, and then I will be able to do this or have that.

What age has brought me besides just gray hair is the understanding that each experience we have puts us precisely where we should be, and if we enjoy things we have, life seems to be better, and the things we are waiting for come quicker and easier.

Enjoying the Moment

enjoy the mometnThis advice we all have heard, but for me, it was challenging to enjoy this experience because my mind was often distracted by thoughts that took me from the moment—most worries about the future or regrets about a past action. Never focus on the joys of the here and now.

All those thoughts occur to each of us and distract us from what we do each moment. I think any commute of any kind is an excellent practice in this. There is a trip you must endure, and you have no choice. You can think about what you will do when you reach your destination, dreaming of food, television, time with loved ones, or whatever happens when you get home.

These thoughts distract from what you are experiencing on that commute. Maybe there is great natural beauty on your journey. A great song might come on the radio. The moment doesn’t know you are on a commute, which happens daily. Please pay attention to it. Think, smile, and enjoy whatever is in your path. That day and those exact circumstances have never existed before and most likely won’t again. Pay attention to the beauty in your journey; soon, you will enjoy the trip as much as the destination.

You Are Supposed to Be Here

This is exactly the right place for you, right here, right now!
This place is precisely the right place for you right now!

Maybe you are working a job you are not crazy about or in a situation that you wish would change; it will because the one thing that you can count on in life is that everything changes whether you like it or not.

Take the time to enjoy the small things that you want about what your life offers you. It may be your coworkers, the responsibility, the challenge, or the daily coffee or lunch break. There is something that you enjoy about your job. If there isn’t, then I don’t think it’s the job that needs evaluation. It is your choice to work there.

You can plan and prepare for the future, which may bring hope to your life. That tomorrow will provide us with the feelings, answers, or happiness that today lacks.

Hope is a powerful thing. And to me is an unbelievably positive thing, yet don’t hurry too fast through hard times because frequently, the lessons we learn while doing something we aren’t wild about allow us to achieve our greatness.

So I advise anyone looking ahead to any milestone to stay focused on achieving their goal. There is value in enjoying the ride to that end, and lessons learned on the journey are valuable currency that can be used in life.

It is the irony of life that often, we spend our time dreaming of getting to a particular destination, and then in a few years, we spend our time dreaming of where we used to be. There is no need to worry; you are just where you are supposed to play your part. Play your role with all the passion you can muster, and you will know that there is nothing to worry about in the future and nothing to regret about your past.

You Are Just Where You Are Supposed to Be!!

All we have is right here and right now. Nothing else is guaranteed.

Life

Seeking Positive Things

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The things I seek are integrity, energy, and intelligence.

There are specific characteristics universally desired by people looking to create success in their life. When falling short of your goals and things are out of balance, look at yourself, and analyze where these three simple factors lie. Are they a high priority? Do they exist in your thoughts at all? If not, it is time to make sure you start incorporating them into your daily thoughts and actions. Also, look for these things in others you want to work with. You will not go wrong if you invest in these things. They are not the only factors you should look for in potential energy investments; they are an excellent place to start.

What You Do When Nobody is Watching

Integrity is a practice that can fade in and out of your existence and practice if you are not focused on looking for it. Good people will let things slide bit by bit because they start to forget about the power of having integrity in your life. What you always do matters, even if nobody else is paying attention. You create energy with every thought and every action, and that energy is attached to you. This is true of everybody in every moment of every single day.

Therefore, when you evaluate a situation, invest your time and effort into starting with the amount of integrity the person shows in their life. Do they let things slide when nobody is watching, or are they consistently stepping up with their actions? You can count on these people in all situations and the ones you want to surround yourself with. Find those with integrity, invest time with them, and avoid those who lack it. All of the people you choose to spend your time with are representative of you. Seek integrity.

How a Person Moves Through Life

The second factor to look for is energy. All people can produce and act energetically. Are they constantly taking sick days at work? Are they doing things in their lives to the best of their knowledge, or are they sliding by? You can give two people the same task, and the one with energy will produce find it easy to

What kind of energy do you bring to the things you do?

Accomplish, even if challenges arrive. The person with low energy will drift through the task. If all goes well, it may still turn out great, but if you face any challenges, it may take much longer or never get done at all.

Energy is subjective, but you will know it when you see it. People with power get things done more accessible and, of course, are much better to work with. They are the ones you want to invest your time with. All items are done to accomplish the goal, not only accomplishing what is in their best interest. Lack of sleep is a small challenge in my personal life, and all tasks are challenging. These are people to be avoided because they will make your life difficult and not provide a positive return on your investment. Find high-energy people and work with them.

Understanding Best Ways To Do Things

Intelligence is a skill that can be built and developed. Intelligence is not how well you learned in school or the grades you received. That might be a form of intellect but not the one you look for exclusively when looking for situations and people to invest in. It is the ability to understand the complexities of a task and get the job done most efficiently. You sometimes have to encourage this type of in

Being efficient is a skill it stems from intelligence. Look for the people striving to do things better, even if that is different from what you do now. Change in any form makes people uncomfortable because others may not work. But change is inevitable and constant, and it calls on the intelligence in all of us to strive to make things more efficient and produce more value in our efforts. There is a fine line between positive change and things that waste time.

These three things, integrity, positive energy, and common sense intelligence, are things to seek in people and situations you want to invest in. Also, keep in mind that you should look for ways to develop these things inside yourself. Find your suitable investments and become an excellent investment for everything you are involved in. Success is something we give ourselves the best chance to create in life.

“Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling others the truth.” –  Spencer Johnson.

“It’s a funny thing about life; once you begin to take note of the things you are grateful for, you begin to lose sight of the things that you lack.”― Germany Kent.

  “Intelligence is the ability to adapt to change.” –  Stephen Hawking.

 

Life

How to Create a Good Decision

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All successful people seem to do things to make the most of their time and produce valuable stuff they want in their lives. They are simple to understand but challenging to practice collectively consistently, but if you put them all together and allow your awareness to settle on them as you complete them, they will take you on the road to where you want to go. There are seven of these, and I encourage you to learn to make these decisions as I know to choose each one daily.

Take Responsibility

Decide to take responsibility for everything in your life. It is difficult to do when you can quickly look at circumstances, other people, and bad timing as convenient excuses for how things have played out. But once you accept a reason for something, you have given that thing, person, or situation your power. You are, in effect, stating you are helpless against that person, condition, or something. We are just about as weak as we decide to be. Take responsibility for everything, your past, present, and future. Because you are responsible for the situation you are in right now, good or bad. Own it. If things are going well, be accountable and keep working toward building more wonderful goodness. If things are going bad, on the things that put you there, make different choices, and own them. Always be responsible for everything in your life.

Look For More Wisdom

No matter how smart you think you are, there is more to learn. Be proactive and follow the path of knowledge to its completion. There will be things that make sense to learn for business and some you should know for your interest and development as a person. Learn through, find the people, books, classes, or whatever you can to give you the ideas you are looking for. Then as you develop as a person, look for ways to provide service to others.

Having a high level of intelligence or super skills in some areas does not good for society if you keep it to yourself. Let it out and help other people develop their skill set or improve their life experience by sharing what you know in the most practical way possible. Helping others helps the world and will help you develop as a person. Seek wisdom today in all you do, exercise thought, reading, writing, or any creation.

Take Action

Understand that you are a person of action and make those actions count. Today, there are actions you can take to help others and allow them to grow as people and overcome circumstances. We live in a predominantly negative-minded society, be the positive exception that flows against the grain and provides an excellent example for all who observe you and watch you work. Be an example that can’t be questioned. Actions always speak louder than words.

Have Faith

Every person will waver at some point in their life. They will start to question whether there is a purpose for life or if we are just dust in the wind—one of many pebbles on the beach. We are one of over 7 million, but each is unique. There has never been anyone like you, and there will never be another in people’s history. So embrace your special talent and ability. We all have different skills, physical abilities, and appearances. Have faith; things you set your heart on, with the intention of action and follow-through, will happen. It is a mindset of thought we are all capable of right now, in this very moment, to help you grow. Have faith in yourself and that life will work out for the best if you let it.

Choose Happiness

That’s right, choose happiness because it is always a choice. You can let things outside of you that are out of your control take away your joy. Or you can choose to look for the things you can control and be happy about them. In your day, there will be people who do things differently than you might like, or they may make mistakes, and it is up to you if you allow those situations to put you in a bad mood. You don’t have to identify with every problem you see and allow it to make you sad, angry, or anything else. You choose to enable the great spirit in you to shine a light on others or to dim that spirit and be a slave to the whims and larks of the world. That is up to you. Choose happiness.

Forgive Everything

Approach every day with a forgiving spirit because carrying a grudge will give you a heavy burden. Anger and fear are the negative emotions we usually can’t forgive, and when you have a grievance, you create an energy block in your life that will stop you from achieving all that you can be. Forgive the people who harmed you, not for them, but for you. And most importantly, forgive yourself for all of the shortcomings you may have had in life. Forgiveness is a powerful tool that frees up your energy and allows you to function at your best.

Persist

There is nothing in your life that can take the place of persistence. This is the ability to stay with something even when you hit a few roadblocks on the way. Those who persist toward their goals without exception will be the ones who find success in the end. It takes a person of great faith to continually move forward against a stream that is flowing against them, but it is the path to success and those who quit before finding the x on the map or the gold at the end of the rainbow. How many projects were not completed because someone lost motivation and quit? Don’t quit. Persist on your way. Carry great faith in your heart that you can achieve and will achieve. It is a mindset you need to discover.

 

There you have it, seven simple tips to help you find success in anything you do. Each of these attributes by themselves would be great but combine them, and there is nothing you can’t achieve in your life.

 

Life

Gifts

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What if you approached each situation in life as a gift. Either it brings joy or learning.

Gift – a thing given willingly to someone without payment; a present.

Today’s word is Gift, and it is natural to think of the material things others have freely given us in our lives.  But the Gift I would like to raise awareness of and bring into your consciousness is the greatest gift we are given at birth, and that is this life.  We can live free and create our lives into anything we choose to make it.  The choice is to think with a small mind, worry about what others think, fall into line, and never reach for what you want.

Or you can evaluate what you want and need and take the chance to pursue it—ignoring the call to be content with the existence of comfort and pure entertainment.   Bring into your consciousness the Gift that life is and the ability to make it whatever you want it to be. This Gift comes into focus with your thoughts, words, and actions today.

Life is a Limited Showing

One of the things that makes this life most valuable is the inevitable ending we are all headed for eventually.  From our birth and the giving of this Gift to our inevitable death, the book we choose to write is not totally within our control, but our reactions and actions are.  It is the limit of time that adds value to our choices.  There are talent and desire within us all to create the best version of ourselves.  But it isn’t easy because we have to choose to pursue our better selves.  As the sands in our hourglass slowly move from the top half of unlimited possibility into the bottom receptacle of fate and finality. Yet many people live with blinders on, ignoring their mortality and the urgency in life.

We are inundated with small mind programming from birth, and it serves as an obstacle to becoming the best version of ourselves. We get trapped in fear. Fear of being hurt or the fear of being thought foolish, or the fear of failure, or the fear of criticism of all kinds. The Gift we were given goes down the path of passive living, looking for momentary experiences that serve to distract us from the potential we were given, and it slowly slips away.  What have you done today to develop your Gift? Do you even know it is there anymore?  We only have a small opportunity to sing our song or dance our dance.  Please don’t waste it wallowing in the safety and doldrums of mediocrity.

Navigation

To do this, you have to become good at moving through the minefields of life.  We have to endure the negativity of others and still look at the Gift of potential that we were given and value it with all that we have.  The injuries we suffer through loss and disappointment cause us to shy away from taking chances, from showing our true selves to others.  It is a dangerous proposition because you could and probably will be rejected by some. They are seeking to limit you because if you create and succeed with your Gift, it shows that they could be great too if only they had the guts to try. That realization causes people to knock everyone else down.

Ignore this type of behavior and see how far you can rise.  We are in control of how much we respond to the negative. Watch your thoughts, words, and actions. Are you wasting time on gossip? Are you talking negatively about others? Are you satisfied being what others want you to be?  Are you pursuing and using your Gift?  We all have to find our path through the difficulties fate puts in our way. These situations are as good or bad as we choose to see them. Every case is an opportunity for growth leading you closer to using your Gift of potential.

Simple but Difficult

So how do we get to the point we are using our Gift? It is simple and, of course, challenging. All lessons worth learning seems to be that way.  It starts with a focus on the present moment. That is all we are guaranteed. Life can end at any second. Focusing on the past is a gone trap and isn’t coming back. Even gentle, sweet memories are a trap.  Focusing on the future is a trap. Plan for the future, but the focus needs to be now. The only thing we are sure to have.

This focus needs to be on the thoughts we choose to entertain. Are they helpful? Do they build you up? Are they negative or positive? Positive reviews move you forward; negative thoughts move you back.  Appreciate what you have in a day and look for those good things. They are there every second. People who guide and help you. Experiences that teach you lessons. Your ability to help others and be kind or give to someone. All of this is in you and enhances your existence. Nobody can say any different because that would be a lie.

If your thoughts are focused on the moment when your words and actions will follow and do positive things, if you can’t do any good for others, at least don’t take anything away from them. Allow others to develop their Gift of potential.  If you see someone pursuing their dream, respect it. Even if you don’t understand it, appreciate it. Their journey is for them, and yours is for you. Be conscious today of all the people you see who are pursuing their gifts and be supportive of them.

Choosing to endure the slings and arrows of life and still strive to become your best or choosing to hide in fear is the real adventure of life. We are all making the same choices. Everybody.  Understanding this will allow you to be more tolerant of others, but most importantly, if you have the courage, your Gift of potential will be on its way to being fulfilled.    It all starts with a definite focus on your thoughts, words, and actions today.

What would your life look like if you focused on developing your gifts? 

“The purpose in life is to find your gift, and the meaning of life is giving it away.”

“Everyone has unique gifts and talents. What you love is what you’re gifted at. To be completely happy, to live a completely fulfilled life, you have to do what you love.” – Barbara Sher

“I believe God has put gifts and talents and ability on the inside of every one of us. When you develop that, and you believe in yourself, and you believe you’re a person of influence and a person of purpose, I believe you can rise out of any situation.” -Joel Osteen

“Anyone who develops their true talents and gifts will become a valuable commodity in the world.”

 

Life

We Suffer

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One of the experiences the recent pandemic has given us all is suffering. Suffering is one of the experiences of being human, and it has the potential to shape our lives significantly. Pain can be a negative influence forcing us to avoid dealing with painful things. They don’t disappear; they hang around inside us, often growing in power and influence throughout our lives. Some instances occurred when you were a child, something someone said that harmed you, or a situation that made you feel pain and suffering.  We learn to push these things aside rather than deal with them. They do not push aside; they follow us continually until you finally deal with them. The unhappiest people have more of these entities of past suffering following them than others.

But it can all change with a bit of self-honesty to recognize where these situations came from and take away their power. Suffering will disappear like a ghost when they are illuminated by honesty.  Painful life experiences are meant to teach and lead to growth, not make us meek or angry or less than we are. It is up to you to decide when to face it, shine a light on it, and let the negative energy of emotional pain from your past go. Once you do, you create room for new positive experiences.

Awareness of Your Suffering

Your relationships will improve and become more durable if you learn to communicate your pain to those you care about in life.  How else could they possibly know what you are going through? If you feel angry because your life has been turned upside down, your freedom is limited, and you can’t do what you have always done. Talk about it.  It is through understanding and dealing with our suffering. We can then understand the suffering of others and how to lessen it.

Your ability to show compassion and understanding will strengthen your relationships. Think of the opportunity you have lost if you deny your suffering; you will lack the tools to be genuinely empathetic and compassionate toward others.  In every relationship you have, have ever had, or ever will have, take open and honest communication to be healthy.

Compassion for Others

Once you have honestly understood and communicated your suffering, it loses its power over you and gives you an understanding of how others are suffering in their lives as well. Not only do you understand, but you have compassion for their issues. All suffering brings pain and knowing the pain in yourself is understanding how another feels dealing with it.

Finding these things out is as simple as noticing when they occur and tracing the thoughts back to their source.  What is the situation that led to you feeling this way? Crowds of people make me nervous, and I am working on this.  I notice the feelings of anxiety, see what causes it, and then look back on life and seek other times I felt the same.  Connect the dots of similarity in these events, and then you have the common denominator.

Take some time when the pain arises to experience it and observe what it is. Please don’t close the door on it and push it away from your consciousness. That is how it gains power over you and becomes an almost automatic response to situations in your life.  Some pain within you allows it to enter your life. Resolve that pain, and you let those painful things go.  When we experience pain for so long, it is difficult not to identify with it.  For me, I’m not too fond of crowds, which isn’t true. I don’t particularly appreciate how being in groups of people makes me feel. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Conscious Thought

Once you have noticed where your suffering comes from, then it is up to you to shine a light on it and not let it hide back into the background of your thoughts.  It is simple to make the pain recede from your mind as just a part of life. Until it returns with more power, we want to deal with unresolved things but sometimes don’t realize we can do anything about them. But we do, and the best thing is to deal with them with our conscious attention.

Allowing your thoughts to stay with the suffering and where it came from, who it came from is an enlightening experience.  The initial pain could be caused by something serious, like the death of a loved one, but not very often because those things are apparent, and most people understand that sadness and pain revolve around those events. It is OK to have emotions, and most are resolved in the natural way of things. It is the small hurts that we shouldn’t let bother us. Those are the things we have problems dealing with in our challenges.  We are told to “be tough” and not express emotions.  Emotions are our natural way to understand ourselves, and to repress them only gives situations power over you.  Notice these things that cause you pain, and stay with them, experience them once and for all, and you will sever the ties of control they have over you.  Conscious thought is the light you shine on the darkness of your suffering.

End of the Suffering

Once you have exposed the suffering and held it in your conscious mind, it is easy to see where it comes from in life.  Was it a thought expressed long ago by a teacher? A parent? A classmate? A sibling? Whoever it was, many of these things have no real relevance in your life as an older adult and dealing with them head-on removes them and the suffering from your life.

An example would be that someone said something negative to you in the 7th grade, and you chose to allow that thing to be relevant to you. It continued to travel with you in the form of suffering because you never dealt with it. Now here you are many years later, still letting that negative situation exist.

Take a moment and document your causes of suffering. What causes you pain in life?  Do you require drama in your relationships? When do you suffer anger or irritation to someone or something? What sets you off?  Do you ever desire to cause pain to others? Notice all negative or undesirable moods you have and find the thoughts you associate with them.  Most often, that will lead you up the path to the creation of these emotions. Creating a conscious thought about these things reveals that you are no longer there at the beginning when something happened to cause you pain. You can let it go and live your life free of that suffering.

“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.” ― Rumi

“Suffering has been stronger than all other teachings and has taught me to understand what your heart used to be. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” ― Charles Dickens

“Do you not see how necessary a world of pains and troubles is to school an intelligence and make it a soul?” ― John Keats

 

 

 

Life

Identity

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Who Are You??

When you woke up today, you probably looked in the mirror at some point. Who did you see looking back at you? Most of us see a person we have created to fit into the roles we face in our lives each day. The one who has to perform their job, take care of their family, do what is expected, and be the person your ego has told you to be. But that is not who you are, and most of us are operating under a case of mistaken identity, and until we start to look for who we are underneath the flaking edifice covering us, we will continue to feel just……..not quite right.  The good news is you are there, the real you, right there underneath the stories we have chosen to believe and give life to in our imaginations.  Remember who you are, and there is nothing that can stop you.

Our Stories

People are great creators of stories, and we use them to define our lives.  Things happen to everyone; some are very positive and will readily accept them because they make us look and feel good.  We tell these stories to the world about the accomplishments, the skills we have, the relationships that define us.  We describe these tales to ourselves.  This process is a part of the false self we create in life to fit in, to show we are exceptional, helpful, talented, and to deliver our value to ourselves and the world. We are the authors of these stories, and we create our biography.  What

What story do you tell about yourself, which contradicts your true self?

happens when the stories we tell are entirely fabricated in our minds.

Your real identity is not in the stories you tell, and you choose to believe about yourself. Each of us is more than that behind the decks. It is my contention; all people have greatness within them and have forgotten their true identity. Replacing it with life stories, others will accept, to give a positive view of themselves. But the correct version is so much better and valuable.  Finding your identity should be the first step in your development, and learn to embrace it.

Glimpse It, Embrace It

I know many people who possess real power is in who they are, not in what they do. However, they give all of their attention to what others think of them and their role.  Spending time seeking the approval of others and searching for social media acceptance or just popularity alone is not going to reveal any of the natural substance within. It is chasing a false creation, made to please others rather than to express yourself.  Self-expression through creativity is the voice of the true self within.  You have no doubt had glimpses of the person you are.  Look for it, and you know you have found it by the overwhelming positive feeling it brings to you inside.

Embrace this feeling and look for more of it.  Finding a way to communicate with this part of yourself is the secret.  It is not difficult to do. You have to quiet your mind and then look past the never-ending stream of thought our brains produce and see what is behind them. That is where your true identity is living, waiting for you to put aside the mistaken identity you cling to and embrace your true self.  Many people have been raised to ignore our true selves.  Fit in, find the job your family will accept as “successful.”  Embrace the relationship others will agree, skip the one that is right for you.  Your true self knows what is right for you and what is not. Look behind the mistaken identity you have accepted about yourself.

How to Find You

All of this is nice, but without a plan to find your true identity, it will just be an excellent idea. First, you have to be willing to look for the person you are. I know many great people are not ready to watch because they are afraid of what they will find.  Fear is the actual opponent for all of us in all aspects of our lives.  You may be comfortable where you are with your story, even if, deep down, you know there should be something more.  It is hard to move out of security to find something else that is

Fear stops this from happening; don’t let it stop you. The world needs your authentic self.

The fear.  But why are we here if not to bring all we are capable of creating to the world. Fearlessly look for that person.

Second, we have to be willing to create action plans and follow them toward who they are. Take a class, read a book, join a group, write your thoughts, find your true identity, and embrace it wholeheartedly. If this seems simplistic, give it a try, and then we will talk.  Our characters have been constructed throughout our lives, and making changes to the beliefs we have accepted as accurate is the most challenging thing a person will do.

Look at every single thing you believe is real and question it. We all have beliefs that limit us from being our best or accepting the best life has to offer us.  We learned them from society, family, and institutions that raised us. Proving these long-held beliefs false is unsettling, but through that uncomfortable mess, our true self will rise.  You have to be willing to risk who you think you are to find out your real identity.

Be willing to be uncomfortable, scared, and nervous about what you are doing and trying to create, and the thing you will build will be your true self. What could be better than that?

“A wild goose never laid a tame egg.” – Gaelic Saying

“Every man is the architect of his own fortune.”  –Appius (c.470 BC)

“If there’s one message I want people to take away is never compromise being your authentic self. Even if that means making others uncomfortable.” -Halima Aden

“The real rub is finding that authentic self, and it’s not something that’s going to come to you overnight.”-  Paul Guilfoyle

 

Life

Perception

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Our perception of situations will dictate all of our actions and the emotions we feel in any case. We don’t often pay attention to that any situation provides perceptions in any number of different ways.  Each viewpoint brings other emotions, a different thought process, and a different reality to the perceiver.  So how you perceive things in your mind will directly affect the fact that you experience.  So it is essential to understand your perception is one of the keys to consciousness and creation.  Look at your thoughts, words, and actions in any situation and see if you perceive it negatively or positively. You do have a choice because perception is an ongoing process of cause and effect.

Negative Perception

Our perception is a direct result of our thought process. When a situation occurs, we immediately provide a thought to it, leading to emotion. That emotion leads to chemicals released into the brain and neural pathways created.  If your view is directly about fear, lack, anger, judgment, or any other negative emotion, your brain is hardwiring to build a negative perception of this experience.  Usually, it seems there is a fear of being hurt at some level and that self-preservation drives our natural comprehension. But only if you don’t take control.

Turning around negative perceptions is as simple as changing your mind.  Easy to say, challenging to do, but anyone can accomplish this if they try.  The key is to be in touch with your emotions. People don’t feel angry, threatened, sad, happy, joyous, or anything else for no reason. There is always a catalyst event that causes emotion.  Look at the reason you are feeling the way you are. It is still the thought you attach to in any situation. Changing your thoughts is a conscious process.

Feel a negative emotion welling up. Stop! Just for a second and recognize the catalyst for negative perception. It is a replay of some experience. Can you let it go? Situations contain the charge of negativity or positivity based on our understanding alone.  Can you look at the circumstances and release the negative and relax into a more positive emotion.  Peace, love, kindness, gratitude, excitement, or hope are good examples of positive emotions.

Positive Perceptions

Once you recognize the negative and replace it with positive alternatives, your neural pathways will be built, which reflect this.  Many people seem to spend much of their lives focused on the negative of everything they see. Fighting with people for no other reason than to prove they are right.  Right and wrong is only one’s perception and letting go of the emotions around what other people think differently from you is healthy and necessary to build your consciousness.

No matter how intelligent you feel you are or how much you think you understand the world, you have little control over the perceptions of others. We are all playing the same game, but we most likely are at different locations on the board.  Perceive others with kindness and understanding rather than judgment. If you let someone else dictate your emotions, you lose your power. Keep your potential by controlling how you perceive the experiences in your life — kindness, hope, caring, understanding, acceptance, gratitude, and love.

You do You

People seem to invest a lot of time to attempt to control the perception that others have of them. This view creates through social media; people show the best sides and create an image they want you to perceive. It seems like we would do a lot better in the world by just being ourselves and letting everyone else be who they are.  Social media is addictive because it allows you to both be a voyeur into the lives of others and to create snap judgments about others.

Worry about yourself because that is the only person you can control. Your experiences and your thoughts about them are a single perception that matters.  Spending time in judgment is negative and limits your ability to create positively. Make choices that honor you, that you are proud of and can stand behind.  There is no need to force your beliefs on another because it doesn’t matter what they think. That is their perception. Let them grow in their way.  Focus on your perception, and it starts with your thoughts, words, and actions. 

“It is above all by the imagination that we achieve perception and compassion and hope.” Ursula K. Le Guin

“The difference between ordinary people and achieving people is their perception of and response to failure.”   John C. Maxwell

Perception-the ability to see, hear or become aware of something through the senses.