Category Archives: Life

Life

What Love Has To Do With It

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Coffee Talk is this good for thought
Coffee Talk is this good for thought.

One of the great experiences I have been able to have is to be able to write a lot of great things at my favorite coffee shop. One of the perks (no pun intended) has been to become friends with the people who work so hard to keep my coffee hot and flowing as I worked my way through many different writing projects. These people don’t know it, but their conversations with me provide a lot of writing topics.  One of the most common

Young people love to be in Love.
Young people love to be in Love.

themes that they discuss is love.

Most of the people I am listening to are less than half my age, so I incline to roll my eyes and think that they don’t know what they are talking about. But on further review,  listening to the hopes and dreams from a young person’s perspective of love, there is a hope that comes back to me. I think that I have forgotten or, better yet, looked past what it means to be in love.

What did I forget? The feeling of love when it is new. As I have gotten older, that feeling is either something that I don’t think is possible or fear because I know the pain of being hurt. Great beginnings become painful endings. The possibility of that pain becomes too much sometimes.

Through that lens, it is difficult not to feel people are

How I often feel about love
How I often feel about love

being unrealistic when they are 20 and say that they are so in love and will spend the rest of their lives together.  The first inclination is to tell them they don’t understand how long life is or how much they will change in the next five years, let alone the next twenty. Then again, who am I to advise like I am the expert on love? I am clearly not.

The discussions around this topic, though, have reminded me of the times my mind was affected by love.  We discussed how you live to hear the voice of the one you love and will talk with them all the time because they make your heart go “pitter, pat.”  The happiness that comes just from being with them, and that nothing else and no one else in the world really matters.  Just you and the one you love. Paradise!

Every person in people’s history has been there before, and the heights of love make life all that more enjoyable. Food tastes better, experiences are more fun, and that person enhances the ability to grow because you want to become more for them.  That is a view of love that a younger person has, and an older person forgets because they know the other side of the experience.

There is a dark side to love for that high that comes when a person has no idea about the potential pain.

Who hasn't felt like this?
Who hasn’t felt like this?

When that love is taken or dies on its own, deep, dark soul building moments of sharp pain and emptiness, where you are so empty because you realize that what is left inside you is a vast space with nothing to fill it, the love is gone, and you can’t replace that hurt with someone else or something else, although you may try.

The scars that are left by this experience will teach you a lesson, and often the simple solution to this problem is to shut yourself off and don’t allow that power of love to enter into your life again. Control how you feel, and don’t let anyone close who might be able to bring out these emotions grow inside of you again.  That has been my life for a long time.

Here is one person who is not too stubborn to learn from the young people in the world when it is appropriate. There is a heart in all of us that deserves to be loved and to experience love. It should seek the happy, giddy, and unbridled enjoyment of being with someone else, being “crazy” about them, and enjoying the experience of being in love and being less afraid of the experience.

So I urge you all to reach for it, open up for it, and to seek love without fear and to invite it into your life and let yourself have love as idealistic as your heart belongs to a young person. Force someone else to roll their eyes at you each day because you are clearly so in love.

If love isn’t a part of your life then, what is the point of it all? If you have love in your life, nurture it and deliver empathy to the one you love always. Never take it for granted because it doesn’t happen all the time. Treasure the love that you have and the experience of being in love.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Life

Grow As A Person

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Personal Growth Leads to Living Well

personal growth 22There is nothing so important in our lives as seeking out and pursuing opportunities to grow as a person. Like any other living creature, our purpose in life is to contribute and move toward becoming our best selves continually. Just as plants are born and start to grow throughout their lives.

Look at your life and each activity you participate in, asking yourself about the growth potential.  We are all consciously, physically, and mentally going one of two ways.

  1. We are getting better or becoming more or growing.  2. We are getting worse, becoming less or shrinking.

Nobody is staying the same. Our actions that stem from our decisions each day are the forces that determine our direction.

Personal Growth Through Pain

Sometimes growth stems out of pain. We often

Unique personal growth can come from painful expeirences
Unique personal growth can come from painful experiences

wonder why painful events happen in our lives. Yet, these events often move you to strike out in a new direction rather than stay where you are. The pain can provide motivation and momentum to us to find new avenues for our talents or roads to travel, which we would never have conceived of before.  Our shell is broken, and a new life of growth will result.

With those we love, we try to shield them from the painful things in life. Our children, especially, under the guise of protecting them, are potentially robbing them of some of the most potent growth experiences. Being with them at painful times allows them to feel and provide empathetic support and sharing in their suffering, realizing that there is a time in life that pain happens, and all we can do is reassure them that healing comes. Eventually, it does come if you let it.

Life-Long  Education= Personal Growth

personal.growth.barrier.3.bGrowth can also occur through production by taking action. An interest will present itself, and through the natural forces of inquiry, a person will pursue their interest to find out more.  The student learns throughout their education and training to master their craft.

The problem is there is a lot of life left after your formal education is completed. Learning needs to be a lifelong pursuit that will continually keep you on a path of growth.  Most often, this is an individually motivated choice of practice. If you don’t look for ways to improve yourself, learn something new, or develop your mind and body, the alternative is to move backward slowly. Today we have access to a world of education and can learn how to do anything at all. We only need an internet connection to learn about anything from anatomy to rocket science.

Growth is NOT Difficult

It is not difficult to grow in your mind or in the talents you possess. Like anything ever in life, it involves taking an interest, developing an intent, and taking action potentialtoward completing a goal or developing a skill.  The passion that a person has toward achieving that goal will determine how severe the task will ultimately be.

Looking for opportunities to grow daily is vitally important. You are never too old, too weak, too significant, too small, or too anything else to find avenues for personal growth.  Reading something of substance each day is an excellent way to start. Each new idea or thought you experience will allow your mind to expand and think better and more efficiently. Once a consciousness expands, it takes a lot of neglect to move it in the opposite direction. Choose to grow!

“Every moment of one’s existence, one is growing into more or retreating into less.” ―Norman Mailer.

“Income seldom exceeds personal development.” ―Jim Rohn.

“You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.” ―Henry David Thoreau.

“Life is growth. If we stop growing, technically and spiritually, we are as good as dead.” ―Morihei Ueshiba 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=huAkaimApyA

 

Life

19 Thoughts from 2019

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A new year brings a natural time of contemplation.  As I type this on the first day of the year 2020, I am reflecting on the past rotation of the planet around the sun.  Each year seems formative when it is happening, but then they drift into the oblivion of numbers. How significant was 1993, or 1977?  For me, not much, but I am sure in their moment there were things which marked them as one of a kind and remarkable.  With that in mind, here is the marking of 2019, my thoughts on the significance of this year.

  1. Friendship is important.  To have someone who you can throw your ideas at and get real feedback without the fear of judgment is vital to developing new philosophies, and taking action on dreams you want to pursue.  I appreciate those who have been there for me.  I hope the results of 2020 verify your faith.
  2. Shifting the paradigm of your view of life will change everything. All possibilities exist for you, right here and right now. If the way you look at life isn’t bringing fulfillment, you can change it.
  3. You are never too old to learn. Learning should be a focus no matter what age you are. There are many affordable options for learning things, from technology to personal care.  All learning helps you expand your mind and guides to a better understanding of life and the people you meet in it.
  4. Agency is vital to your life.  This practice is what allows you to pause, evaluate, and act when you face a challenge. It is about being active in the face of life’s challenges, rather than passive.  It is a simple thing, but how often do you let things slide because it is more comfortable?  Control the stimuli in your life. Be selective with whom you socialize. Move your body. Be a learner always. Manage your emotions. Follow your intuition. Deliberate quickly, then act.
  5. Love or fear is a choice. You decide the mood and movement of your life by the simple choice you make between these two forces in all areas of your life.
  6. The subconscious mind runs most of our activities. It was initially programmed with experience and influence before the age of 10. Some things were added by experience, but for the most part, we let a 10-year-old make most of our choices.  From hat I have seen, most people never seek to improve that situation.  You can change your programming with effort and action.
  7. We are all a combination of our mental attitude, heart, and soul.  These three working in concert are unbeatable.
  8. Don’t ever give away your power.  Don’t give it to what others will think. Your choices at every moment are yours and yours alone. Energy is lost to fear, money, acceptance, food, security, love, affection, surity, fitness, health, entertainment, having to be right, needing to belong, show intelligence,  possessions, and responsibility.  Do what your heart tells you, keep your power.
  9. Strife makes a man strong.  It would be nice if life were a tranquil winding river, but without challenges, there is no reason to change, and change leads to growth. Life will either run you over of raise you to the best version of yourself. Your position changes frequently, so don’t pat yourself on the back too much for successes. Or berate yourself too harshly for perceived failures. It will all change tomorrow.
  10. We are living two existences at once. We have an inner and outer experience in life.  The inner world is ours alone, and only what we choose to share is contributed to the world. Our external things are seen by everyone and seem more significant. The inner world is the one that shows who we are.
  11. Now is the time to dig deep! As we face moments where we doubt our value to others, our value to the world, and about the worth of things we create. It is vital to see the doubts that surround us and to look deep below them and find the essence of yourself. Don’t be afraid, be brave in your thoughts and actions.  Be bold, and mighty forces will come to your aid.
  12. The villains drive the story. Much like the challenges of life push us, people who treat us poorly, hurt us and make us question our worth make us figure out what value we have.  Pain is not a good thing to feel, but it guides you toward your best self, like a jagged rock in a river. Avoid that, and you navigate well.  Don’t hate the stones, learn their lessons.  The villains have to live their lives as themselves. What could be worse than that?
  13. Not only is every thought tied automatically to an emotion. The relationship is reciprocal, with every emotion being related to an automatic mental reaction.  If you don’t question why you feel what you do, or think what you do, growth is ambiguous and probably non-existent.
  14. No matter what excuses your mind is giving you, there is no better time to start than right now. Today.  Start, try, begin your adventure, and see where it goes.  It will go somewhere, and that experience will bring growth.
  15.  “We must not cease from exploration. And the end of all our exploring Will be to arrive where we began and to know the place for the first time.” – C.S. Eliot   What are you going to explore this year?  Where will you go, you have never gone? What will you do you have never done? Who will enter your life? Who will leave it?  All of this will be in the adventure of your new year. We seek so much and never realize it is inside us all along.  But that is the lesson of life. Keep learning.
  16. Habits are formed through a combination of knowledge, skill, and desire. To eliminate a “bad” habit takes an exploration of these three factors.  Building a new “good” practice starts with knowledge.  Change is an upward process.
  17. Dependent people need others to get what they want. Independent people can get what they want through their efforts. Interdependent people combine their efforts with the efforts of others to achieve their greatest success.  What type of person are you? What type of person am I?
  18. By working on becoming the best version of ourselves, we can influence conditions.  Choosing our response to circumstances, we can powerfully affect what happens.  You can decide how you treat certain situations, and that choice can affect how the rest of the world reacts.
  19. Be responsible for your actions or inactions, rather than blaming others or circumstances. Look to accept your responsibility for where you are in life. Your situation is a direct reflection of your choices. Period. You can always take action to change things.  We can be more resourceful, diligent, creative, cooperative, proactive, and action-oriented in our focus.

Bonus thought of the year- Principles Apply to Everyone, whether they are aware of them or not.  Principles always have natural consequences attached to them.  Correct principles don’t change; they are profound fundamental truths, timeless truths, running actively through the fabric of life. They are more significant than people and circumstances.  They don’t change only our understanding of them does.

So these are the significant thoughts coloring 2019 for me. I wish you all a prosperous, productive, and joyful 2020.  Understand the wheel of life is always turning, and we are here to learn the lessons.  Make it a year you will always remember.

Life

Lessons Learned in 2018

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It is my usual mindset to maintain a positive attitude about life and I have been trying to do this for all I am worth, today is December 31, 2018 and a moment of reflection is definitely in order. I am going to find it difficult to have any sort of reminiscence of this past 365 and be positive. It was a year of immense growth, and gigantic loss. A year of miraculous wonder in both positive and negative ways.  Each season of the year had its own story and each one was remarkably true to the weather and the temperature of the season. To be positive about the things I lost in 2018 would be disingenuous and borderline hypocritical. So although I am going to pick up the positive tomorrow, today I am taking a moment to put the hard lessons of 2018 into perspective and to move forward with the knowledge the year left to me.

Things I Learned This Year 2018

  1. Life is full of surprises- I learned that I am still able to be surprised in both positive and negative ways by life. Unexpected things happened, numerous times bringing me the experience of  unimaginable joy and heartbreaking sadness.  It makes me both leary and excited for the future and I guess that is as good a definition of life as we are ever going to get.
  2. All I know is I know nothing- We fool ourselves, I think, into thinking that we are gaining knowledge over years to be able to live our lives in a safe, orderly manner.  I am here to tell you this is just not true. As soon as you think you have figured it all out. Life will punch you in the nose, run you over with a car and toss you out of a moving car.  Why is this?  I am hoping it isn’t because life is sadistic, but maybe because we need to have challenges to continue to grow.  As the lesson here states clearly, I know absolutely nothing about life and am just trying to survive into 2019.  If you know the answers and the rules, please let me know.
  3. Love is a complicated thing– I know this is not a news flash, and anyone who has lived life knows this, but I have learned that love is made up of more than just words, saying I love you is not enough. It involves love, kindness, appreciation, trust, faith, and respect to name a few. When all are present it is a wonderful experience.  It is THE thing that makes life wonderful and joyful. Beware it comes with a lot of danger and potential pain attached.  But nothing great comes without a little bit of risk. That is what makes it so wonderful when it works out and painful when it is lost.
  4. Nothing Gold Can Stay- It is poem by Robert Frost and I read it when I was a kid reading the Outsiders by SE Hinton. My life has had many of these moments but none have provided an example of the temporary nature of things as 2018.  I enjoyed each moment and I have that in my heart, but would I have dared to live it if I knew it wouldn’t last? I am not sure. All I do know is, life is impermanent, we are all imperfect, and in that imperfection there is a unique beauty of life. That hurts. 
    Nature’s first green is gold, 
Her hardest hue to hold. 
Her early leaf’s a flower; 
But only so an hour. 
Then leaf subsides to leaf. 
So Eden sank to grief, 
So dawn goes down to day. 
Nothing gold can stay.
  5. If you want to see God laugh, tell him about your plans-  I am sure that many people have grand plans, and set out to make them turn into reality and I think the big goals are great and things to work on.  But it is the every day plans of constructing your life where this sentence comes to my life. I was sure six months ago what my life would look like right now. Positive. Had no doubt.  What was the laughing in the background? Who was that chuckling at my certainty? My unmitigated arrogance.  If God wasn’t laughing, he should have been because I could never have thought I would be where I am right now a scant 6 months later.  Some of it is good, some is not so good. All of it was unexpected.  Glad you enjoyed yourself God.
  6. You can do anything you put your mind to- I have seen this happen in small and big ways. If you set your intention on something, make a plan and then take the necessary action steps toward that thing, you can make it happen. Some achievements will come quickly and some take a lot more time. But all can be accomplished. It doesn’t matter if it is career you are searching for or a special rare treat you would like to eat. Whatever it is, you can turn it into a reality.  If you set an intention, make a plan and take the necessary action steps.
  7. Someone who believes in you helps-  Believing in yourself is THE most important aspect of accomplishment. Having someone in your life who believes in your goals and talents is number two. It can provide motivation to work on your dream and inspiration to make it great. Unfortunately when that person stops believing in you, it can set you back.  If the one you trust for motivation and inspiration no longer believes in you, you feel like your talent, and ideas are no longer valid. They are, evaluate your creativity in your own mind. Even though you have trusted and had faith in someone, having trust and faith in yourself is the most important thing you can do.  Believe in the dreams you have and have faith that life is helping you if you take your actions.
  8. Don’t Stop Believing- The Journey song has never had more meaning to me. I have gained and lost faith in life this year. I have literally flown like a bird and seen the freedom from above. I have crashed and burned like the Hindenburg. It has been tempting to lose faith in other people, life, the world, you, me, Elvis, everything!! But as I sit here and feel the last moments of 2018 drift away into the reaches of history,  I can’t stop believing just yet.  There is going to be a new day tomorrow, and it will be the dawn of a new year. I don’t know what that year may hold for me, but I want to have the faith in my heart it will be good.  Dreams will come true and happy times will come along.  As much as I want to stop believing, I am just going to hold on to that feeling, streetlights people…………

So now as I end this last creative blurb from 2018 I am going to try to be as positive as possible. It isn’t easy. I think all years have a lot of the same things in them. Surprises, joy, love, heartbreak, sadness, victory and defeat.  2018 has brought all of these to me in a special way and I know that there will never be another one quite like it. I am hoping to take the good, forget the bad, forgive the people who have harmed me, and love those who have loved me.  This life is a short ride after all and our time is running out to accomplish our dreams.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   
But I have promises to keep,   
And miles to go before I sleep,     
And miles to go before I Sleep. 

Life

People and Change

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Daily Positive Thought Project-  People and Change

One of the most consistent forces in the world is change. It is an always working force that is mending and pushing everything in the world.

https://youtu.be/Gz28hWhTwkA

Why is Change so difficult?

Change is difficult because either events are going great and we don’t want them to change into something else.  Or even if the changes we experience are going to be good,  it is our instinct to resist because deep down we are afraid that a change may make things worse.  So any change is initially resisted.

What your goals have to do with it?

Look at your goals in a career, relationship, or any other aspect of life. if they don’t include the things that are currently in your life then you can’t be afraid when life starts moving you in a different direction.

All of your goals and dreams will be found by trying something new and by accepting the changes that come into your life.

Change all Around YOU

Since change is happening all around you and to you at every moment. It would make sense to create a plan to try to benefit from this process. Rather than be an object helplessly tossed around by the waves of change, it makes sense to have a plan to deal with change and ride those waves. The waves are coming, you will change, life will change. It is your choice to grow or not from the experience.

Each change that is new will teach you a skill and allow you to become a better more well-rounded person. Accepting change will allow us to grow. 

Philosophy

New Perspectives by Kyle Cease

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new perspectives
“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.” – Wayne Dyer

This is a great video on creating new perspectives from one of survival to a vision of abundance. Kyle Cease is a speaker/comedian who helps people develop their abilities. He believes these perspectives that come from inside us have control over our reality.

Understanding New Perspectives

There are things we love to do and talents we have in order to find our purpose in life.   Overcoming fear is important in our development.  He advocates creativity and imagination in order to overcome the limits that society puts on us. Feel complete as you are and being what you love, there is no fear. Things outside of you do not complete you. 

Let Your new perspectives help you develop your life experience.

Life

What Makes Me Country

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Daily Positive Thought:  Be Proud of Who You Are

camping cooking
Can still start, maintain and cook over a fire. That makes me country.

I heard a song by Luke Bryan recently that asked me, “What Makes You Country?”  It made me think about my life and what exactly does make me a country kid from Maine and the list of things is long. So I accept you challenge Luke Bryan and am going to tell you why I am country and most of it has to do with the experiences I had when I was growing up.  There are few things I am happier about than the experience I was fortunate enough to have in my formative years.  It wasn’t always easy, but it was the thing that makes me as country as anyone in the world. I am going to try to boil it down to a few experiences but really there are too many to list in this short space.  I will do my best.

I was Raised in the Woods

Recently, I went camping and hadn’t done that in many years, I still know how to build a fire, and cook food over it. These skills didn’t just come to me, when I was a kid, I spent every summer on the shores of a rural pond in Jefferson, Maine.  If we wanted heat, we needed to start a fire.  We didn’t have to cook on an open fire, but I learned to do it in a pinch.  There was no sewage system in that camp, so we survived using an outhouse.  If you don’t know what that is, well it is a small

camp, dyer's pond, raised in the woods
This was our camp in the summer, surrounded by woods and water. That is me rowing the boat, I think. 

building, a ways away from your dwelling, with a hole in the ground under it, I will let your imagination figure out what ended up in the hole.  A small price to pay for the experience.  When we left at the end of the summer, you did appreciate the wonders of indoor plumbing.

Being in the woods, the only water we had running in the house came from the lake, so you had to fetch, carry, and haul all of your drinking water from other places.  This was a daily chore that I was not all that fond off, but you get to understand the value of having drinking water and that it is a precious element.  When it comes to bathing, well that was what the lake was for.  We went swimming several times a day. I never thought this was a hardship, it was just the way things were and the way life moved for me.  It was good.

Freedom and Creativity

I was also very fortunate to have a large playground at my disposal. There were many acres of land and lots of lake for me, my brothers, and other kids on the lake to play on. I would get up in the morning, eat something for breakfast, and be set

I still remember the barefoot boy I used to be.

free for the day. I was required to eat lunch, and have an adult of some kind watch us when we went swimming, but other than that we were limited only by our imaginations, and the effort we wanted to put forth.  We built things, fished, swam, ran, played, and learned on a daily basis.  I learned to appreciate a soft-wooded path as you ran barefoot from one place to another.

I also learned to have an appreciation for the beauty and power that a lake can have. It provides a lot to you, but you have to respect it or you pay the price.  I learned about the ecosystem of the lake, and all of the thousands of animals that made that lake the center of their life.  Every kind of bird you can imagine, snakes, frogs, fish, turtles, eels, deer, moose, raccoons, beaver, or any other kind of wildlife you can imagine in Maine.  I knew it. Not as a word, but as a part of my life as I ran the paths along the shores of Dyer’s Pond in Jefferson, Maine.

Being Country

Now many years later, the memories of these things are even more valuable. I learned skills that still translate today. I also know what it is to go without, so I appreciate it when I don’t have to. A family was the most important part of being country because without that, you wouldn’t have had the teachers you had. My father was a good teacher and so were my brothers. We learned all about the value

What an outhouse looks like. For those who need the graphic

of fire, water, and love.  My mother also instilled a lot of my solid country values as well.  There was always music and singing in the house, and I learned to relate to music because of that.

The best nights I remember are when we would all tramp through the woods along the dirt road to visit my grandparents a few camps down the road. It was maybe a ten-minute walk, on the way it was light out and easy. We would all visit, talk, play, and enjoy our family time and then it would be time to go home and as a group, we would walk together following my father and his flashlight through the woods until we were all safe at home.  As we were tucked in and read to, we would fall asleep every night to the sounds of the woods. Crickets, frogs, and birds.  A loon calling from his lonely swim on the lake.  We fell asleep with the dreams and hopes of what the next day in the woods would bring.

I know that I do not have the singular possession of a rural upbringing, I hope there are thousands of people who have the same kind of background as I did.  When you remember it, it allows you to have a strength inside that you can call on, in any situation. Be brave, be resourceful, respect your environment and be grateful for what you have. That is some of what makes me country. 

Life

Birthday Wishes

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Sometimes it is a good thing to stop and smell the flowers

Another year has passed and its events are placed in the history books of my life. I am fortunate to be able to report a very good year, with its fair share of change, new experiences, interesting things, wonderful people and a healthy dose of fun in there as well. When it comes to times of reflection like this, it is always the people who are most prevalent. I am very fortunate to have known many wonderful people over the years and to be connected with some great ones now.  I have learned many lessons but here are a few of the things I have learned over the past year which I wish for all of those I care about.

Nostalgic Music Month

In September of the past year, I was asked to do a project on my blog with Mike Martin to declare October Nostalgic Music Month. He had his own agenda of

Some people never change. This guy never follows the rules

reasons but of course, I agreed. Each day we each contributed some of the nostalgic music that brought us back to some place in the past.  It was fun and connected me to a lot of music in the past.  Here is the link. 

My wish for you today is that you remember the good things and let the negative fade into the background. Life is too short for spending time worrying about negative things in the past. Understand that even negative things can have an ultimately positive result. Letting something from your past affect you like it is happening right now, robs today of the potential it has. Focus on the good because it is always there.  So enjoy some music from the past, and make new memories today.

Words Have Power

I did another long-term project from November to March of the year designed to raise the level of my conscious thought by choosing one word a day and then focusing on how I could make conscious choices in my life around that word. My life changed a lot during that project, and I became a better person for it.  The link to all of those words is here.

My wish for you is that you look at your words and how they are affecting your experience in life. Each day we decide our thoughts, they lead to our emotional response, the words we speak, and the actions that we take. By changing your focus to simple words like kindness, understanding, or acceptance you can change the impact you have on the world and the impact the world has on you.  Think of that.

Try New Things

Life is a tricky experience sometimes. We work hard to put ourselves in positions where we are safe, but sometimes the routines of safe are limiting and stop you from trying new things and allowing new people into your life that can get you to expand your horizons.  This year a cool breeze blew into my life and changed it

DCIM107GOPRO

forever. The impact of this person has been positive and fun. My perspectives have been shifted and I am grateful for that.

I wish for all of you to have a cool breeze blow into your life. Be that a new relationship, or a revitalization of one that has been in existence for 30 years. Life is a game that is better enjoyed by two people. It is ultimately more fun, and the choices we make in this realm determines our long and short-term happiness.  Remember a beginning or a new beginning is only a single choice away.  Make the one that makes you happy.

Learning is a Lifetime Activity

I try to learn something new every day that is helpful to my life. We are fortunate to live in an age where virtually all of the knowledge of the world is located at our fingertips. Anything you want to learn about you can access for free just by completing a Google search. I have learned much over the year. Nothing had more impact than reading The Power of Now by Eckart Tolle in a book club format. Asking questions, and thinking about how to take that mentality into my life. It helped me understand the conflicts between my ego, or the false self, and my true self.

I wish for all of you to expand your horizons by learning something new. No matter what your age, or current occupation. Take time to read something new, investigate a new idea and see where those new thoughts take you. Your brain can grow and develop late into your life. Use it, follow your interest and see what comes back to you.  Your life will change and move you closer to who you were born to be. Learning is a lifetime activity, use it.

 

Life

Lessons Learned at Camp Caribou Part 2

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Tom Fischer, Toby Macgrath, Dave Penley, and Myself, the baseball staff 1992.

Seeing all the Camp Caribou 50 years of camping has made me contemplate my brief four years as a counselor there many years ago.  It is such a unique place and working there was full of lessons and personal growth.  I have carried these lessons along to all areas of my life and I am grateful for the experience and hope those lessons are being taught to others still today. I was just one of the thousands of employees the Lerman’s have had over the years but to me, the feeling of family and belonging at that place was individual and lasting. Here are a few more of the lessons I learned on that peninsula in Winslow, Maine. (Read Part 1 Here)

The Value of Personal Time

As much as I respect Bill Lerman, as a counselor, I thought that it was good to see him at meals and camp activities but never any other time. Bill was a business owner, and he would ride around the camp on a three-wheeler, checking up on this or that, so you could always hear the three-wheeler coming and stop doing anything you shouldn’t be doing.  I learned early to work hard and well when you are on duty,

John Hall, Mick Scarles, Brian Albers, Rich Redwine, Myself, Dave Penley and Lynn Hall in front our favorite camp nurse.

but to find places that nobody could find you when you had free time. Because if you had free time, and Bill found you, he could find something for you to do.

I developed many different places which were relaxing, quiet, and good places for rejuvenation.  I remember sitting in one of them, out of sight and hearing the three-wheeler pass by just behind me and smiling because I knew I wasn’t going to be spotted. The lesson here is that everyone needs time to themselves in order to be able to give what they have to others. I always have carried that forward and enjoy my time by myself when I need it.  There is nothing wrong with this and it makes you a better leader, worker, producer and person.  When I have been in positions of authority I recognize and respect that in others and I owe that lesson all to Camp Caribou.

Mindset Matters

I learned early that how you think matters in the way you experience camp. And that can be translated into all other areas of your life.  At camp, you are entering into a new environment and it brings with it some challenging choices.  If you focus

Me Pitching BP. My favorite pastime

on yourself, your day is going to be difficult. If you focus on what you can do for others, your day will be easy.  You have to be there anyway, so look for ways to make the experience fun and most of that comes with mindset. I worked with people with good and poor mindsets.  I know the ones with a positive mindset, lifted me up and made things better.  Those who complain all the time about everything are to be avoided because they will bring you down.

Thinking positively and performing your job with joy is easier and more enjoyable than being negative.  When you complain all the time and look for the things you don’t enjoy, you tend not to enjoy anything. Life is too short not to enjoy anything. Camp Caribou was my first real lesson in this and I have been able to carry that lesson through a lot of difficult times to find ways to enjoy life today. Your mindset matters my friends. Is it a good day? Or a bad day? Only you can decide.

All People Have Value

No matter where you come from in the world, the color of your skin, the religion that you practice, or the language you speak, underneath it all we are all the same. We are just people that are looking for a way to have our needs met and to feel a part of things.  I was fortunate to be exposed to people from all over the globe at Camp Caribou. Every year people go to Winslow, Maine arriving as individuals and if they make it through the summer they leave as part of something bigger than themselves.  I saw all people make contributions to the whole experience. Some were bigger than others, but all kept the life at camp moving and healthy.

One of the lessons all camping brings to people is that all people have value. The kitchen staff is just as important as the program director and in some ways more important.  I know that my ability to appreciate others and to always remember to thank someone for even the smallest kindness comes from Camp Caribou. It is good to be appreciated and also great to appreciate others.  We are presented with an opportunity to practice this each and every day. All people have an intrinsic value that they bring to life. Appreciate all of those you come in contact with. We are all doing the best we can.  Thank you Camp Caribou for that lesson.

Magic is There

The final lesson I will be talking about today is about the energy and joy that people bring to a place like Camp Caribou. It is a rare thing that a place is almost magical in the joy and excitement it brings to people.  There were any number of evening activities, bunk nights, Sunday afternoon activities, or intercamp games I participated in and all had a value to someone.  Each contributed an excitement to someone and made many people smile and be happy.  This happiness transcends the physical location of Caribou and is carried around with all the people who ever experienced it.  Like all great things, they only exist for a short season, then it is over and left in your memory.  At the end of the summer, one by one the people return to their homes and take that happiness with them.  Being at the camp as people continually left, it was like watching a giant fall asleep.  The magic of the place slowly drifted away with every boat being pulled from the water and every ball being put away.

Just like life, the time of a summer is finite, measurable and short. But that is what gives it value and makes it special.  The motto of Camp Caribou used to be “unforgettable summers” and I think that was true.  I have never forgotten the value that I took from the place and its people. I am sure there are many others who felt the same way as well. The good thing to remember is that even as the giant falls asleep every fall and stays that way throughout the winter, it will awaken again when the weather warms up and the people return, one by one in the spring and summer.  The magic of the place never disappears, it shows its value by coming back to life to teach its lessons to more people. As long as there are places like Camp Caribou, the world will be a better place.

Apparently, I could write all day about this place that has had such an influence on me and my outlook on life. I know that the Lerman family all helps run things and the next generation is taking over, I am sure that the camp is in good hands for years to come.  There are good people all over the world who have been affected in a positive way and I hope that continues for campers and staff for many years to come. I was very fortunate to have had the experience and hope all others are as grateful for the time there as I am.  (Read Part 1 Here)

 

Life

Lessons Learned From Camp Caribou, Part 1

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caribou staff photo 93
A staff photo from one of the years I worked there, I think 93. Big Bill in the middle, our fearless leader.

There are places you experience in your life which leave an indelible mark etched on your soul. You may even know it at the time but I am not sure you can appreciate it until years later.  When I was in college, I had the great privilege to work for four summers at a summer camp in Central Maine called Camp Caribou.  To describe the whole experience would take a book, but suffice it to say I learned many lessons of life there I still think of today.  Bill and Martha Lerman were the owners and operators of the camp and they were the major lesson teachers there. I am sure that thousands of young people have benefitted more than I have from their kindness, honesty, and consistency, but none appreciate it more.  These are a few of the lessons I learned at Camp Caribou in Winslow, Maine.

First, to set the scene, Camp Caribou is located on a peninsula on Pattie’s Pond. To access the camp you have to travel down a half mile long dirt road. I remember the first time I drove down it, not really knowing what to expect, a little fear and excitement mixed together. What story would this road reveal? I am sure that every kid of all ages felt something similar the first time they traveled that road.  It is windy, and people honked as they got to some curves to alert anyone coming the other way.  And then suddenly out of the woods, it opens up and brings you into the middle of the camp.  A playground of fun, with all kinds of activities kids, love.  It was enchanting and my education was just beginning.

Leadership Bill Lerman Style

Leadership is a skill some come by naturally, and others develop through experience. I know that I learned how to be a good leader from Bill Lerman. It is a story I tell often about digging a ditch. If you want to get five people to dig a ditch, do it quickly and enthusiastically, you get in the ditch with them and work like hell for about 5 minutes. All the others will fall in line and dig like hell too. Then you can back away and let them finish because the momentum is already set.  I was fortunate enough to observe Bill do this with me as one of the workers, and to later be able to lead others to the same ditch digging task. (different ditch)  Lead by example, and never ask anyone else to do something you wouldn’t do yourself. That lesson has proven to transcend all of the many careers I have participated in over the years.  I am continually grateful for the lessons Bill taught me. It has proven invaluable.

That is just one of many things that Bill taught. He probably doesn’t even know that he does it. He has a very unique voice and style of speaking so, his stories resonate with you and I do believe I developed a pretty good imitation of the man.  Pre-camp, before the kids came was a lot of work, getting everything ready for the kid’s arrival and training for the staff. All camps I am sure have some form of this, but with Bill, it was a one of a kind show.  Have a look at the video and listen to him talk.

Kindness Martha Lerman Style

One of the lasting memories I carry from my Camp Caribou days is the kindness that Martha Lerman always brought to everyone. And I mean every one. It didn’t matter if you were a camper or a counselor, she would find a way to make sure you felt like you belonged and were important to what was going on.  It could be taking the whole staff out to a movie during pre-camp when everyone had been working hard. Or making sure there was some kind of “treat” for the staff during staff

I am in this picture somewhere, but honestly have no idea where. My first year at camp.

meetings.  When I was in that first year of being a counselor, Martha often checked to make sure that I was doing OK.

It could be a run down the road with a kid who needed some encouragement, or just a quick conversation with someone who needed to be uplifted. Her kindness never shuts off.  I have seen the power of being kind over the years and its alternative.  I now try to treat people with the mantra of “kindness first”, and I have been fortunate to have many good role models in that area, but Martha Lerman was definitely one of the most powerful examples of consistent and powerful kindness I ever experienced, I am eternally grateful for that.

Brotherhood

There are two types of family in life, the ones you are born into and then there are the ones you grow into.  At Camp Caribou, it was the kind you grew into.  All of the staff members came from all over the world and had different skills, backgrounds, religions, and philosophies about life.  Yet, enter the peninsula of Camp Caribou and all that is washed away. It is your character and ability to work together that separates you. I value all of the people that I worked with and the unique skill set they brought to the table. Some were singers, some were great athletes, others got the job done every time they were called upon.  Above all other things, there were people who I could rely on for encouragement, a joke, to get out of the camp every other night, or to endure an evening activity or bunk night with.

Camp places you in a 24 hour, intense experience, so you bond with others quickly and it is a unique thing that will stay with you forever.  Two summers ago I was able to reunite with a few of the people I worked with at Camp Caribou. Although we are all much older, the relationships were still the same and the laughs just as genuine.  I learned the value of sharing an experience with someone and remembering the good things about them and it. All of my Caribou brothers are valuable, those I was close to and those I worked with for years. I see them now on Facebook and wish them all the best of everything that life has to offer.

There are too many lessons to include in just one day, so like the second half of the summer, tomorrow will carry us to the end when everyone will go home.