In all stages of my life, I have had the experience of life presenting me with situations that have broken me apart, like the shattering of a mirror, which reflected the life I was living and enjoying. Then I would look at the unrecognizable shards of that existence and wonder how I could put that back together into something enjoyable, valuable, worthwhile, or just plain old good? This question has come up all too often, and I imagine that I am not in the minority. All of us move through challenges caused by other callous actions or vacuous behaviors. Or worse, we are the victim of situations entirely of our own. A thoughtless action, selfishness, petty thought, or something we let our emotions push us toward.

Either way, the lives we knew are destroyed and left unrecognizable. Our chore is to try to piece something resembling value together from the ashes of the giant dumpster fire that is your current situation. The good news is. Thousands of people do this every day and rise again and live a happy and successful life even though they were crushed and broken by a challenging experience. If one person can do it, so can you. Let’s piece our lives back together again.

Proactive, not Reactive

I am never more sorry for someone than when they have found someone or something that makes them happy. Why? You ask. Once you let something outside of you make you happy, it can be taken away, bringing the opposite response to your life. The difference between allowing something to be as it is and allowing it to destroy your feelings and life is a tiny one. Allowing someone or something to control your happiness will make you accountable to that person or thing. Don’t rely on anyone else for your enjoyment or anything to bring your life more joyful. These things are best found on our terms and manifested in our minds and hearts.

That doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy times with others, but the minute you allow a person to be the momentum of happiness in your life, you are at their mercy. If they are immature, unstable, uncaring, mean, or all of the above, you have allowed their inner depravity to control your level of happiness. You will live a reactionary life instead of being proactive in creating your measure of happiness. Proactively seek things outside of a relationship that makes you happy or understand your self-worth by yourself. You can start doing this today in any way to let your actions lead to the experiences you desire in life. Don’t let your thoughts, behaviors, and feelings be dictated by someone or something else.

Living In the Moment

It can be challenging to focus on being mindful when life falls apart. Finding the balance between experiencing emotions about events and people who are no longer in your life and sharing the things fully in your day is tricky. Throw in the seemingly natural anxiety about the future and what might happen, and putting our lives back together is a challenge. But I think to rebuild a meaningful experience, it takes the ability to let yourself live in and enjoy the moment.

Each moment is a chance to establish a life you want. When your pieces are shattered into nothing, there is an excellent opportunity to rebuild yourself back into any form you desire. You can remove the toxic people from your life, leave an unfulfilling job, and create something from your soul. Don’t focus on the past, and try to recreate something gone. And try not to worry about what you will be in the future. Focus your thoughts and energy on what you want that person to be today as you take each broken piece of yourself and put it back together. The person you are constructing will be the best version of yourself today. After all, it is only at this very moment we can live; everything else is just an illusion of thought.

Be A Good Builder

Take advantage of the opportunity presented to you to make changes in yourself you have always wanted to create. If you’re going to look different, train differently, and grow in a new way, what better time to start than when all of your life has been shattered. There is an excellent opportunity for you to put those pieces back together in a way you find more appealing. Is there a dream you have always wanted to chase? A new path you want to follow? Just new things to do? Doing them now when your life is shattered may be the time. What do you have to lose? You can’t be any more destroyed than you already are. Your past choices have led you to this moment, and perhaps a new direction in thought and action is just what you need.

You are the architect and the builder of your life experience. You allow other people and circumstances to motivate you and move you, but your life will be a direct and complete reflection of you. Blaming others and events outside of yourself may make you feel better, but you made the choices, and you pay the cost. So make choices you want to represent you personally, in your relationships, finances, and every other aspect of life you can imagine. Be the best and most creative carpenter in your life today. With all of your pieces lying at your feet, put them back together in the manner you dream of, and your life will become the one you desire of. You are in control of how you are represented in life. Build it all well.

“Every day, you reinvent yourself. You’re always in motion. But you decide every day: forward or backward.” —James Altucher

“Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.” —Mireille Guiliano

“I feel like I have a job to do like I constantly have to reinvent myself. The more I up the ante for myself, the better it is in the long run.” —Kevin Hart

“We must reinvent a future free of blinders so that we can choose from real options.” —David Suzuki

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” —George Bernard Shaw