I have been reading about fear lately and seeing my fears step up out of the either to make me question things.  Although life has been exceedingly good to me recently, I still am fascinated by the role fear plays in our lives and that it is just a thought we choose to pay attention to.  Loss is the biggest fear we all carry around in our heads.  Thich Nhat Hanh is a Vietnamese Buddhist monk who wrote a book about fears and why it is important to face them and overcome them. There are five universal facts that we are afraid of and to become comfortable with each allows you to be who you are and to live life with enjoyment.  To live in denial of these things is crazy. But yet many do.  Where do you stand with each of these things?

I am human. I will grow old. –  On the surface, this seems obvious but look at our society and how we worship youth. Youth is beauty and potential, but we all will age and get old eventually. Life will move to its afternoon and evening, no matter what we do. It is easy to put this fact in the back of our minds in youth, but you realize you are growing older as you move through life.  I take steps to make my body and mind capable of being functional and lucid for as long as possible.  Don’t hide from this fact. It is a fear of many. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing. It is a fact of life, just as the sun rises in the morning.

I am human. I will die. – Death is a subject most people never speak of, mainly because we are afraid and don’t know what to say. Will it be painful? What will happen to “me” when this life is over? Not one person living life is optimistic about what will happen makes death a mystery, building our fear. It doesn’t matter what happens after death because, like it or not, we will all experience death at some time. There is a value this knowledge gives you. Each moment of life is precious and should be enjoyed. Knowing there is an end to the story makes the story more vital. Choices and experiences matter because it could all be over tomorrow.

I am human, and I will get sick. –  Along the same lines as death, illness is a part of the human experience. The illness will eventually happen to us all, depending on how you view it. Our physical bodies will become ill as they break down, leading to death. Since this is the case, it should make us all more compassionate toward others experiencing illness. Nobody chooses to be physically or mentally ill, and their life experience may be better or worse by your choices.

I am human. All relationships I treasure will end. – This is true of every relationship you ever develop in your life. Understanding there is a beginning, a middle, and an end to everything is vital to understanding life. It doesn’t mean you will never have valuable, loving relationships. It means that eventually, just as your life will end, so will they.  To me, understanding this makes every moment of a relationship more critical and vital me. Enjoy the little things and the moments you share with someone else in mutual friendship. To share a part of your life with someone else is a great gift. Even lifelong relationships end as one person or the other dies. Knowing and accepting this allows you to live a life of passion and not fear a relationship ending because one day, it will.  Cherish those who you spend time with and have affection for.

All we leave behind is our behavior. We can’t take anything with us–

When you die one day, all the material possessions you have accumulated will mean nothing. You can’t take your house, car, or things with you. Putting so much emphasis on them in life is a form of delusion. They understand that our behavior toward others will be all that is remembered in the hearts of those who know us.  Good, bad, or indifferent is the legacy we all leave behind. Our kindness, compassion, and love, or the lack thereof, will be remembered.  That is a lesson people tend to forget as they move through the day with selfish thoughts about what life will give them. Where are your kindness, compassion, and love today? Who is going to remember you with fondness?

Summary of thoughts

All of these things are truths that can’t be argued.  We may deny them,  but there is no doubt that at some point, we are all going to get old, we are all going to die, we are all going to get sick, all of the relationships we treasure will end, and all that is left behind is the measure of our behavior. These are not negative things. They are facts that, if you truly accept them, you will value the youth you do have. Treasure your living moments. Be thankful for your health and sympathetic to those who are ill. Tell those you love how you feel while you have the chance.  Make sure your actions and behaviors leave behind the footprint you want.  This is the value of accepting these truths to me.