Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?

I think that no matter how far along you have come in life, there are always some things that have stuck with you, and even though you think that you have let go of it, you really haven’t.

To be happy in life and to really enjoy the experiences that I am blessed with every day, there is a constant letting go of perceived slights, whether big or small, from others. Forgive the people, let the act go, and release the negative from your life.

Today I am thinking about the process of how I let things go and what experiences I have to let drift into the ether and cease to be a problem for me. It is easy to say but difficult to do when your emotions become involved, and your thoughts make you perceive someone’s actions as a personal slight.  Letting go and forgiving is hard. Be fearless in your forgiveness. It reflects well on you.  Other people’s poor behavior is their problem.

Forgiving and Letting Go

There is a freedom that comes from truly forgiving someone for hurting you. It doesn’t mean that you condone what they did, like it, or ever want to see it repeated. It simply means that you will no longer let whatever someone else did have any power over you. 

It sounds trivial and overly simple, but it is just that.  Just because it is simple doesn’t mean it is easy.  I know that I let some of my own false crosses become a definition of who I was for a long time, yet I learned in the end that what has happened to you isn’t who you are. It is what happened to you. Who you are is shown by your reaction to the situation.

We are much like any tree in our existence,  a tree goes through all types of different weather, but after it all, the tree is still a tree.   It may have lost some branches and may have a few scars on its trunk, but it is still the same tree before, but with more experience. So you are the same person, just a wiser version.  Of course, most of us would like to do without someone deceiving us, lying to us, or just harming us in one way or another.

You are still the same as you.  Forgiveness and releasing was the process for me to stop blaming the storms of life and accept all responsibility for my own decisions. In the end, I am responsible for the choices I have made—nobody else. So I forgive them and thank them for the lesson.

So what Still Needs to Go?

You know if you still have something to forgive if when you think of a person or a situation, there is a burning feeling inside.  It almost feels like a searing sensation that is brought on simply by thought.  Sometimes you can not feel it but then when something comes to you as a surprise that the burn is still there.

 The Universe has a way of presenting you with things you need to work on without looking too hard.  Today I was on LinkedIn, and there was a suggested contact of someone I used to work with.  I quickly experienced this searing sensation but also realized that it was time to let that anger go.

 It was inappropriate and almost shocked me that I still have this strong a reaction to someone who was a representation of a negative experience.   I knew it was really time to let it go.

 I took a moment and forgave the entire situation and then let it go. I am not sure I can help with it anymore.  It sounds easy, and it really is, but it is also hard to really do because we tend to cling to our bad situations. They make tremendous excuses for what ails us.

It is a feeling that is difficult to describe; if you truly forgive and no longer blame anyone else for situations and accept them as situations, then there is no longer anger, fear, hate, or frustration.  Those spaces can be filled with other things that are more positive love, acceptance, understanding, and kindness, to name a few.

Letting Go Of  One

This one I have to let go of. I once had a perfect friend I worked closely with for years, and our relationship did not end well.  He perceived things in me that I do not think were true. I feel I was mistreated by him, who was my most trusted and relied upon friend.

 This was a person whom I looked up to and really relied on.  In good times and bad, there was a friend I could count on.  Yet, the last conversation I had with him was devastating.  I was treated to a barrage of accusations and hostility.  I wouldn’t mind that so much, but our relationship was different, I thought.  I walked away from that conversation and have never been so hurt in my life.

To hurt me, I am sure, was the intent because he had perceived a hurt.  I was angry for a long time and have let go of this bit by bit over the years, but finally, I had to let it go once and for all.  I allowed a character flaw in another to control the way I feel. I released it. The harsh words, the confrontation, and the negative feelings are all gone and have no power in my life. I forgive him and send love and understanding to him.

I replace the negative with the love for my brother that I have always felt.  There were about a million times I wanted to talk to him and bury the hatchet, mend the fences, but some things are not meant to be, I guess.

In the end, my philosophy can be summed up pretty shortly, that life is a short ride, and to get the most out of life, you have to be able to process and move past the difficult parts to enjoy the rest of the ride and learn and experience what you have the good fortune to experience.  Love is hard to find in a soul that is worried about revenge and payback.

Are you holding onto something that you need to let go of?

Forgive and forget. It may not change the past, but it gives the future a chance.

The stupid neither forgive nor forget; the naive forgive and forget; the wise forgive but do not forget.

Forgiving someone is easy, but being able to trust them again is a totally different story.

Remember, when you forgive, you heal, and when you let go, you grow.

Do not let the shadows of your past darken the doorstep of your future. Forgive.

I’ve seen your face before, my friend, but I don’t know if you know who I am.