Life

Lessons Learned in 2018

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It is my usual mindset to maintain a positive attitude about life and I have been trying to do this for all I am worth, today is December 31, 2018 and a moment of reflection is definitely in order. I am going to find it difficult to have any sort of reminiscence of this past 365 and be positive. It was a year of immense growth, and gigantic loss. A year of miraculous wonder in both positive and negative ways.  Each season of the year had its own story and each one was remarkably true to the weather and the temperature of the season. To be positive about the things I lost in 2018 would be disingenuous and borderline hypocritical. So although I am going to pick up the positive tomorrow, today I am taking a moment to put the hard lessons of 2018 into perspective and to move forward with the knowledge the year left to me.

Things I Learned This Year 2018

  1. Life is full of surprises- I learned that I am still able to be surprised in both positive and negative ways by life. Unexpected things happened, numerous times bringing me the experience of  unimaginable joy and heartbreaking sadness.  It makes me both leary and excited for the future and I guess that is as good a definition of life as we are ever going to get.
  2. All I know is I know nothing- We fool ourselves, I think, into thinking that we are gaining knowledge over years to be able to live our lives in a safe, orderly manner.  I am here to tell you this is just not true. As soon as you think you have figured it all out. Life will punch you in the nose, run you over with a car and toss you out of a moving car.  Why is this?  I am hoping it isn’t because life is sadistic, but maybe because we need to have challenges to continue to grow.  As the lesson here states clearly, I know absolutely nothing about life and am just trying to survive into 2019.  If you know the answers and the rules, please let me know.
  3. Love is a complicated thing– I know this is not a news flash, and anyone who has lived life knows this, but I have learned that love is made up of more than just words, saying I love you is not enough. It involves love, kindness, appreciation, trust, faith, and respect to name a few. When all are present it is a wonderful experience.  It is THE thing that makes life wonderful and joyful. Beware it comes with a lot of danger and potential pain attached.  But nothing great comes without a little bit of risk. That is what makes it so wonderful when it works out and painful when it is lost.
  4. Nothing Gold Can Stay- It is poem by Robert Frost and I read it when I was a kid reading the Outsiders by SE Hinton. My life has had many of these moments but none have provided an example of the temporary nature of things as 2018.  I enjoyed each moment and I have that in my heart, but would I have dared to live it if I knew it wouldn’t last? I am not sure. All I do know is, life is impermanent, we are all imperfect, and in that imperfection there is a unique beauty of life. That hurts. 
    Nature’s first green is gold, 
Her hardest hue to hold. 
Her early leaf’s a flower; 
But only so an hour. 
Then leaf subsides to leaf. 
So Eden sank to grief, 
So dawn goes down to day. 
Nothing gold can stay.
  5. If you want to see God laugh, tell him about your plans-  I am sure that many people have grand plans, and set out to make them turn into reality and I think the big goals are great and things to work on.  But it is the every day plans of constructing your life where this sentence comes to my life. I was sure six months ago what my life would look like right now. Positive. Had no doubt.  What was the laughing in the background? Who was that chuckling at my certainty? My unmitigated arrogance.  If God wasn’t laughing, he should have been because I could never have thought I would be where I am right now a scant 6 months later.  Some of it is good, some is not so good. All of it was unexpected.  Glad you enjoyed yourself God.
  6. You can do anything you put your mind to- I have seen this happen in small and big ways. If you set your intention on something, make a plan and then take the necessary action steps toward that thing, you can make it happen. Some achievements will come quickly and some take a lot more time. But all can be accomplished. It doesn’t matter if it is career you are searching for or a special rare treat you would like to eat. Whatever it is, you can turn it into a reality.  If you set an intention, make a plan and take the necessary action steps.
  7. Someone who believes in you helps-  Believing in yourself is THE most important aspect of accomplishment. Having someone in your life who believes in your goals and talents is number two. It can provide motivation to work on your dream and inspiration to make it great. Unfortunately when that person stops believing in you, it can set you back.  If the one you trust for motivation and inspiration no longer believes in you, you feel like your talent, and ideas are no longer valid. They are, evaluate your creativity in your own mind. Even though you have trusted and had faith in someone, having trust and faith in yourself is the most important thing you can do.  Believe in the dreams you have and have faith that life is helping you if you take your actions.
  8. Don’t Stop Believing- The Journey song has never had more meaning to me. I have gained and lost faith in life this year. I have literally flown like a bird and seen the freedom from above. I have crashed and burned like the Hindenburg. It has been tempting to lose faith in other people, life, the world, you, me, Elvis, everything!! But as I sit here and feel the last moments of 2018 drift away into the reaches of history,  I can’t stop believing just yet.  There is going to be a new day tomorrow, and it will be the dawn of a new year. I don’t know what that year may hold for me, but I want to have the faith in my heart it will be good.  Dreams will come true and happy times will come along.  As much as I want to stop believing, I am just going to hold on to that feeling, streetlights people…………

So now as I end this last creative blurb from 2018 I am going to try to be as positive as possible. It isn’t easy. I think all years have a lot of the same things in them. Surprises, joy, love, heartbreak, sadness, victory and defeat.  2018 has brought all of these to me in a special way and I know that there will never be another one quite like it. I am hoping to take the good, forget the bad, forgive the people who have harmed me, and love those who have loved me.  This life is a short ride after all and our time is running out to accomplish our dreams.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,   
But I have promises to keep,   
And miles to go before I sleep,     
And miles to go before I Sleep. 

DPT

Being Persistent

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Daily Positive Thought Project:  Practice Persistence!

https://youtu.be/-BeE4Tc7QAk

We all have things we would like to accomplish in life. We set goals and we develop dreams about achieving this or that.  We make plans and then set out to make those dreams come true and those goals to be realized.  Then on the way to achievement,

Nothing can beat it

fame and fortune we hit a snag.  Failure happens. Setbacks happen. The once placid river is now a mass of white water and we think, “Maybe I should turn back?”

It is in these moments that you have to find your power of persistence.  Keep moving forward regardless of the obstacles or challenges you are facing. That is persistence.  To find the courage to keep moving forward despite the problems you face.

That is how skills long dormant inside us are brought to their greatness. Like a knife is sharpened on a stone so are your skills sharpened by persistence.

Follow your dreams and goals and don’t give up. Be persistent in your efforts and you will have a chance to achieve that success you are looking for.

Life

People and Change

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Daily Positive Thought Project-  People and Change

One of the most consistent forces in the world is change. It is an always working force that is mending and pushing everything in the world.

https://youtu.be/Gz28hWhTwkA

Why is Change so difficult?

Change is difficult because either events are going great and we don’t want them to change into something else.  Or even if the changes we experience are going to be good,  it is our instinct to resist because deep down we are afraid that a change may make things worse.  So any change is initially resisted.

What your goals have to do with it?

Look at your goals in a career, relationship, or any other aspect of life. if they don’t include the things that are currently in your life then you can’t be afraid when life starts moving you in a different direction.

All of your goals and dreams will be found by trying something new and by accepting the changes that come into your life.

Change all Around YOU

Since change is happening all around you and to you at every moment. It would make sense to create a plan to try to benefit from this process. Rather than be an object helplessly tossed around by the waves of change, it makes sense to have a plan to deal with change and ride those waves. The waves are coming, you will change, life will change. It is your choice to grow or not from the experience.

Each change that is new will teach you a skill and allow you to become a better more well-rounded person. Accepting change will allow us to grow. 

DPT

Three Step Challenge Management

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Daily Positive Thought Project- 3 steps to handle any problem

All of us face situations every day. We also have the capacity to handle them and here are three simple steps that each of us can use to assist us in dealing with the problems we face in life.

https://youtu.be/-5wZFD5HoEk

First we have to clearly identify the problem or obstacle we are facing.  it is pretty common to build a simple problem up into something that it isn’t. To let our imaginations run wild and soon we have built our problem into an insurmountable thing.  Be objective and write down the factors involved in the problem.   When you look at things as they really are, not what you think, or somebody else thinks they might be, we can handle them much easier.

Second, we have to determine what the right action is for us. An action is always the cure for fear. When you are doubting yourself or seeing something in front of you that maybe is intimidating you.  Determine the action you can take.  If you lost your job, evaluate where you can most easily make money now. If a relationship has ended, decide what if anything you can do or to just move on.  Whatever the obstacle, look for the action that will allow you to get around, through or over the problem.

The third is to endure the solution that results from the actions you took. It isn’t always easy, but if you learn to accept the results of the way things are, then you have the ability to learn from what has happened, become a wiser human and apply those lessons to your life in the future.

There you have it a simple plan to try to navigate the stream of life a little bit easier. Or at least in one piece. Some lessons in life hurt, some are not that bad, but all have just about as much value as you choose to give them.

Nostalgicmusicmonth

Tom Petty’s Last Dance

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Day 3- Nostalgic Music Month

Tom Petty  and the Heartbreakers By Jon Hilton

If you owned this album, you understand the loss.

The news of the passing of Tom Petty made today’s nostalgia easy to choose. I never met Tom Petty in life, but we knew each other very well when I was young. He guided me through the confusing moments of adolescence and let me know that it was alright to not fit in like everyone seemed to want.  Petty provided a voice that resonated with millions of people and always will. Growing up would have been much more difficult without him and his music and I am one of the heartbroken today.

The five songs that were most influential to me are not the most popular Petty songs but the ones that related to a particular phase of my life and particular experiences. Where the lyrics are a guide inside of the moment and still transport me to that time and place.

  1. Don’t Do Me Like That– Hearing the first notes of this song, takes me back to middle school. A time when I didn’t know much about the world and imagined how people should treat others.  “And you know you better watch your step Or you’re gonna get hurt yourself, Someone’s gonna tell you lies, Cut you down to size”

  2. American Girl- I have known many of these girls in my 51 years. Some were more significant to me than others but all had an impact. It is amazing when you think about it, how much women and our thoughts about them dominate our lives and history.  “God it’s so painful, Something that’s so close, And still so far out of reach”

  3. Breakdown– One of my favorite songs to sing along with still to this day. Makes me happy to hear it and to remember the times when I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that a breakdown It’s alright.  Unique guitar riff, memorable feel and flow.  My “young self” loved this song and my “old self” does too.

 It’s alright if you love me
It’s alright if you don’t
I’m not afraid of you running away
Honey, I get the feeling you won’t

  1. The Waiting – Throughout my life, I have found these Tom Petty words to be absolutely true, the waiting is the hardest part. The sentiment of the song was true. Good relationships and other things don’t always happen in an instant and you have to be patient to reap the benefits of these things.

Baby you’re the only one that’s ever known how
To make me want to live like I want to live now

  1. Even the Losers– My number one anthem of youth. I think we all feel like we don’t fit in or are losers, but even in our awkwardness and self-doubt, there is a girl who can make you feel like it will all be ok in the end.  Even the losers get lucky sometimes. Baby time meant nothin’ anything seemed real, Yeah you could kiss like fire and you made me feel Like every word you said was meant to be. Babe, it couldn’t have been that easy to forget about me.

1a.  Mary Jane’s Last Dance– This is a classic with so many great messages that hit me in so many places. Listen to it and know that life is a fleeting group of experiences that we try to squeeze meaning out of, Tom Petty guided us. Change Indiana to Maine in the lyrics and I knew that girl.

Well I don’t know what I’ve been told
You never slow down, you never grow old
I’m tired of screwing up, I’m tired of goin’ down
I’m tired of myself, I’m tired of this town

We have all felt that way at some point and time.

honorable mention- Free Fallin’, Won’t Back Down, You Don’t Know How It Feels, Running Down A Dream, Learning to Fly, Refugee, You Got Lucky, Here Comes My Girl

Farewell Tom Petty, may you rest in peace and know that in the end

 Tom Petty Day 3- by Mike Martin

Tom Petty added some iconic sadness to #OctoberNostalgicMusicMonth. He is on my short list of my favorite musician, and one of the few performers that Shannon and I both completely appreciate.

When I heard of his heart attack and almost certain death. As I right now 7:25. October 2, 2017-his status is unsubstantiated.  These circumstances reminded me of the passing of my uncle-Charles F. Martin. Unc, as he was fondly known by our family, was most surely a family Icon, to say the least.

My Uncle-like my grandfather- was a carpenter by trade and-like myself-a NAVY veteran. He served during WW II and didn’t get into much detail about his service.

I’m not sure if Unc convinced me to join the NAVY after my mother, Maxine Graham, invited the NAVY recruiter to our house-a true hoodwinking and ambush-I must say, but he didn’t stop me.

Unc’s only advice: “Don’t let anyone take advantage of you, you do know what NAVY stands for don’t you-Never Again Volunteer Yourself.”

My uncle and I were extremely close. He treated with respect and never kept me from a worksite-well unless the proprietor ran me off which only happened once. The last thing I remember Unc telling me was that he wished I was living in town, Greenville, Maine, because the opportunity was abundant, and with Scott Patrick and I working with him, we could win a lot of work.

We never got that chance, Unc passed and our family changed forever, but I never forgot the lessons he taught me. No Worries Unc, I Won’t Back Down -even at the End Of The Line,  I love you and miss you every day!

….. “Maybe somewhere down the road aways (end of the line)

You’ll think of me, wonder where I am these days (end of the line………..

…………….. “It don’t matter if you’re by my side (end of the line)

I’m satisfied”

If you have any questions, drop us a line and please partake in #OctoberNostalgicMusicMonth and while you are at it take a trip to Greenville, Maine-I understand the foliage is majestic this time of year! #visitGreenville

#OctoberNostalgicMusicMonth #visitGreenville

 

DPT

Learning Something New Every Day

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Daily Positive Thought Project-  Learn Something New Every Day

Each of us has a responsibility to make ourselves the best person we can be. Learning is one of the best ways all people can improve themselves and become better.

https://youtu.be/Qc-i8PuV36M

It doesn’t take a lot of time to expand your mind. Using the internet there is a nearly unlimited resource of knowledge at your disposal. You can take a class from almost any institution in the world and many of these are free.  You also have all of the books of the world at your fingertips. That is a lot of knowledge and understanding that you can download at any moment.

With such a vast store of knowledge, it not out of the realm of possibility that your perspective on life will change with each new thing you learn.  This should challenge old beliefs that no longer serve you and bring you a broader understanding of the world.  The fear that grips our society can be lessened somewhat with a better understanding of those different from us. Learning provides this.

Keep a journal of all that you learn so that you can revisit it later.  It will take more than one read, or visit a piece of knowledge to allow it to become a permanent part of your intelligence.  Write down key facts or moving quotes so that you can get power from them later.

“A little learning is a dangerous thing.” —Alexander Pope 

“Never mistake a single mistake with a final mistake.”      F. Scott Fitzgerald 

“A man who asks is a fool for five minutes. A man who never asks is a fool for life.” Chinese Proverb 

DPT

Get Gratitude Working

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Daily Positive Thought Project- Get Your Gratitude Working

It is a natural feeling to let the focus of our thoughts run toward the negative in our lives and the world around us. We feel we have been wronged, we are suffering and that seems the most important thing in the world. What can you do?   Practice gratitude.

https://youtu.be/PjAFEn6jEs8

When you list the things you are grateful for your mindset immediately shifts into an area of thought that is much more positive.  There is always something to be grateful for, it can be your family, your car, your friends, your mind, the fact that you can see, hear, feel, and are alive to have this human experience are all things most of us can be grateful for.

It doesn’t matter what has been bothering you. Loss of a relationship didn’t get the job you wanted, lost a contest, had a bad day at work or school.  Rather than spending your focus on that gratitude allows you to move your thought and awareness to what you do have rather than what you don’t.

Take a moment right now and write down three to five things that you are grateful for today.  Hold a feeling of gratitude for each thing in your mind.  It will switch your focus to positive and open the door for more of that and less of the suffering.

In life, we are generally just about as happy as we decide we want to be.

What are you grateful for today?

DPT

The Choices that Define you

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Daily positive Thought Project –

The Choices that Define You

https://youtu.be/sSXycea5_ag

Each thought we choose to focus on defines our life. Either subconscious or conscious our thoughts bring an energy to our life. If our thoughts are negative, judgmental, or fear based we  experience one thing

If our thoughts are positive, accepting, kind and loving we experience another thing.  We make the choice every day what those are.

Are you a critic or creator- Someone who looks into themselves and creates something new and powerful or do you spend your time criticizing the efforts of others.  Your choice defines you.

Do you choose love or fear? The most basic choice we have in all things. We choose to be kind, understanding, compassionate and caring in all of our thoughts or

We choose to be judgmental, mean, critical, and hateful toward someone else.  This is the most rudimentary way we define our experience with the choice.

Which choice defines you today?

 

Do you choose to give or take?   Do you contribute to the positive experience that others have in life or are you more worried about what is in it for you.  This is a basic choice we make which brings the basic joy of life or lack thereof. Look for ways you can contribute to the happiness of others.

 

Who do you want to be in your life? What do you want people to remember about you? All of this is totally in the hands of the Choices  you make each day.

 

What choices are defining you today?

Personal Development

Phone Issues

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133747The past week has been an eye opening experience for me as I was losing my phone but finding my connection. I did not have access to a phone. As I waited for my phone to be replaced, I had several days where I had no access to other people as I moved about my day. But the bright side was that nobody had access to me either. It was a unique experience that really highlighted our addiction (or at least my addiction) to personalized technology. The process has crept into all parts of our lives and now we scroll around through the mindless posts of Facebook in all of our “down” moments. Life has changed, and with the focus so much on technological devices, I am afraid that many of us are losing our connection to ourselves.

Remembered The Past, No Technology

In the not so distant past, the only way you could reach someone on the phone was to call them at their home. If a person wasn’t at their residence then they were unreachable. You left a message and waited for a reply. When you left a message for me, it could be awhile, as I was never much of a fan of talking on the phone.  As I went

For those who don't know. This is what a phone used to look like.
For those who don’t know. This is what a phone used to look like.

through the past few days,  I was reminded of those times. There is a certain freedom that people enjoyed before the electronic tether bound our hands, eyes and attention to the glow of a cell phone.

It seemed there was no chance anyone could interrupt what we were doing. My focus was not distracted by a message or a neat post on Facebook or Instagram. You never realize how much time you spend scrolling through foolishness until you don’t have that. It really took me back to a time before cell phones and the experience was a pleasant one.

What I Noticed Without Electronics

We are all creatures of habit, and the phone has become a habit that I think is not providing the healthiest of lifestyles. I was Put-your-phone-awaycontinually recognizing how much I used my phone and bringing that into my consciousness. Messages from Facebook, texts, phone calls, or many other forms of social media, are coming in at all times and they become a kind of addiction. Breaking it for a few days was an experience that revealed how controlled I am.

I found that the time I wasted scrolling mindlessly through my Facebook feed could be replaced quite easily with reading or thinking or having a conversation with someone in person. The amount of time and the things that I enhanced in my life during those days was really phenomenal. I noticed that with no phone or technology, I had more focus on all more substantial  things. I was able to increase my focus and creativity.

Can’t Fight Technology

I know that it is unrealistic to even for me to live in a world with no technology. But It is completely realistic

Too much of this and not enough conversation.
Too much of this and not enough conversation.

to live in a world with a tighter personal control on technology. I am going to be practicing some new things with technology. I already leave technology in my car when I go to the gym. That is my time to get physically healthy and not think about distracting or foolish things. No calls about business or even mindless chatter.

So I am going to add some more noncontact times to my life. One of my worst is first thing in the morning, I would scroll through Facebook as a part of my morning routine, but now I have found that time is much better spent reading something of substance. It gets the day off to a much better start.

In the End, Your Connection is Up To You

manycallers-mobilepic
How could you cut down your use of technology and improve your life?

I am not sure how our society has gotten to this point. Go anywhere and almost all people are staring into some sort of technological device. That makes the actual human contact, eye contact, connections very limited. I think that it also makes our lives a little less rich and a lot less fun. People and their unique personalities are the garnish that makes life so delicious. Through technology, all relationships are filtered and often you only see a fabricated version of the person.  In real life encounters, there are more substantial connections built and thoughts conveyed.

I encourage all people to cut the electronic tether for large portions of the day and replace it with activities that lead to growth and interaction.  There was a time when technology didn’t invade all of life and that is a place where your freedom just might live.  How could you cut down your use of technology and improve your life?

DPT

Stop Lying To Yourself

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Daily Positive Thought Project:  Stop Lying to Yourself

It is often easy to look at our relationships, both personal and business and have feelings which are not so positive. In these, situations it can be easy to tell yourself little lies about things that will allow you to get through the day.

https://youtu.be/Fwbl4XMVu4E

You can make excuses for someone else’s behavior, in order to make yourself feel better but in truth, you are lying to yourself.  There are a right and a wrong way to treat people. We can treat people with honesty and sincerity or we don’t.  That choice defines who we are as people.

When you are in a situation it can be difficult to be objective, when that is exactly what we need to have. So my advice is to take a step back and write down without emotion exactly what is happening, action by action. Are people telling you the truth? Are they telling you one thing, then acting another?  Are they being judgmental? Are you happy with the way things are going? Why not?

Making this objective list allows you to take the emotions out of it and then the challenge is to think about what advice you would be giving someone else in that situation. Then try to follow that advice.  It will not be easy because the emotions will inevitably creep back in.

Try to remember that you deserve to be treated with kindness and respect in all situations.  If you are not being treated that way then you should consider making changes in the treatment that you accept from others.

“Just be honest with yourself. That opens the door.”—-Vernon Howard

Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Positive Thinking