I Do Not Like Mean People

Why Mean People Are MeanI don't like Mean People

One of the things I like the least in life are mean people.  Mean people exist and thrive on crapping on the attitude, accomplishments,  interests or well being of someone else, with the sole purpose of making themselves feel more powerful or to increase their own self-esteem.  In a word these people are toxic and need to be avoided at all costs. They can leave you feeling worn out, tired, depleted and negative about everything but most importantly about yourself. It seems that they spend all day thinking about how to be mean to people.

Now I understand that most acts that can be considered mean come from people who need to make themselves feel better about whatever is happening in their lives and because they feel a lack of power, self-esteem or everyday ordinary goodness in their own lives.  This makes them feel the need to treat others poorly.   What bothers me is that it takes very little effort to NOT be mean, and perhaps some of the inadequacies they see in themselves would be alleviated if they just tried to be less judgmental and inconsiderate once in awhile.

Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

I don't like Mean People

Negative Choices Can Make You Mean

People’s actions may be done without the intention of being mean to others, but when you gossip, put others down, ridicule, judge or make fun of someone else, you are stepping into the dark side of mean.  So often in our social media society do people make fun of others, it has become an accepted form of expression.  Look no further than Youtube.  You can look at almost any video on there and if you bother to read the comments left, there is always someone who has gone out of their way to leave a not so positive comment, often using foul language and almost always to put down the content of the video or the creator.   I often wonder how bad their lives must be to spend their time to be so negative.  It is really unnecessary, if you don’t like something you see, why don’t people just not watch it?  I guess that to do that would rob them of an opportunity to be a jerk, and being a jerk and getting noticed is better than not getting noticed at all.  On Facebook, people go to all kinds of lengths to make negative pages about people, for the sole purpose of hurting them.  There are numerous cases of cyber-bullying that have even led to suicide.  Why?  I just don’t seem to be able to grasp the concept of being that hurtful to someone else.

Being Mean To Celebrities, Still Makes You Mean

I don't like Mean People
Charlie is deep
I don't like Mean People
Snookie is Nice

It has become the right of everyone to be negative about everyone who is a celebrity.  We all seem to have a licence to judge them and their situation simply because they are well known.  In reality, we know nothing about the issues facing these people and the facts about their circumstances.  It all comes from jealousy, we as a society, build people up and seem to relish in tearing them down.  Charlie Sheen is a great example.  Does he have issues?  Yeah, he does.  I don’t think that I know enough about him as a person to make a judgement about whether or not he is an addict or mentally unstable.  I have never met him and I don’t know any more about his character or values than I do about someone who cleans windows for a living.  Most people don’t.  That hasn’t stopped our society from judging him and ridiculing his decisions like we are so much better a person than him.  Really we know nothing and a train wreck, real or imagined makes people feel good, because it’s not their train wreck.  Just say the name Snookie and people will immediately let you know their judgments about this person.  I don’t know why people like to judge her so much, but she has gotten rich and famous because of it.  I personally don’t know Snookie and how she chooses to live her life is her business and that of MTV.  I think people criticize her because they see a part of themselves in her that they just don’t like.

In life there are going to be people we deal with that we may not like or appreciate.  It happens, people are different and not everyone is going to get along.  But does that give us a license to be mean to them?  It takes little effort to be courteous and accepting.  If people put in as much effort into being kind and accepting as they did into being mean and judgmental the world would be a much better place.

Here are a few ideas for those of us working on living a positive lifestyle and Stop Being Mean:

I don't like Mean PeopleMost mean people have a sarcastic edge….arm yourself with a few funny one-liners that you can use when faced with a negative person.

Don’t take what a mean person says personally…it is their problem, definitely not yours!

If you have a friend that has a mean streak and tends to say things that hurt you or others, try saying, “Ouch” out loud and never allow yourself to get sucked into the behavior. Always know it is okay to not continue the friendship.

Don’t go running away scared from a mean person, walk away with a stronger sense of yourself, knowing that you made a good decision not to get sucked into the negativity!

The ultimate victory for us is not to fight back, get even, be vindicated, nor ever to bring the Mean Person to justice. The ultimate victory is to render this person irrelevant.

Some helpful hints on how NOT to be mean:I don't like Mean People

  • Before doing anything quickly ask yourself: “Will this thought/action/comment make the world a better place for me, or anyone else?” If not – don’t do it and save yourself the repercussions. There’s no point expending effort in making yourself or others unhappy. Ever.
  • Tell yourself constantly that you’re a nice person so that your mind begins to accept that you are. Change your behavior accordingly to fit these new standards. Thinking you’re one of the “good people” instead of a “bad person” can really make a difference to how you act. Your mind will react positively.
  • Resist judging people if they are not nice to you. You shouldn’t judge people anyway. There is always someone nice inside everybody, even those whose insecurity causes them to be mean to you.
  • Like all habits, this one will be hard to stop. With perseverance, however, your defensive meanness will change.
  • Smile. A smile will let people know that you are pleasant and inviting. If you smile at someone, look them in the eye.
  • Ask people how they are doing. Take the time to ask someone how things are going in their lives, without being nosy or intrusive. If they seem resistant to talking, just let them know that you’re always around to talk to, and that you want them to be alright.
  • Be a good listener. Listen when other people are talking to you.
  • Be courteous, patient, observant, and considerate. And be positive. Don’t be negative or critical. Keep looking for the positive in any given situation.
  • Be humble. The key to being nice is remembering that you are not “better” than someone else. You’re an individual, but everybody has their struggles, and being nice to one another makes life better for everyone.
  • Be sincere.  Be nice because you want to look back on your life and know that you were a nice person, no matter what.
  • Don’t lie. You will go on to do good things if you refrain from lying.

 

Why I Don’t Like Black Friday

Why Black Friday Sucks

Black Friday Sucks
Yes it certainly does.

There are few things which clearly demonstrate the failure of our modern society more than Black Friday.  Traditionally this day after Thanksgiving has become the largest shopping day of the year.  I have nothing against shopping or the ability to businesses to make money, in fact I am all for capitalism and the right of individuals to run their businesses.  I believe that the problem is the ever increasing commercialization of Christmas and the inability of some people to put their family above saving a few dollars.

The Greed Factor

greed over family
This about says it all. Enjoy your crumbs.

To see this greed factor in action, you don’t have to look any further than the fact that all of the big businesses have extended their Black Friday sales into Thanksgiving day.  If you show up at Walmart at 8 PM on Thanksgiving night, you will get a great deal on a great flat screen.  This is the price of integrity and family time, an inexpensive television.  Sad that there isn’t just one day that you can ignore all of the corporate chatter and pursue some sort of family time and interpersonal connections that don’t cost a thing.

Shoppers or Sheep?

It seems that all people today are just like sheep, being herded to the stores by the herders that run the big stores.  Once one store does it, all of them feel

shoppers are sheep
What Black Friday crowds look like to Chain Stores.

the need to open up, because they might miss out on some sales.  Forget the fact that the people who are working for you have to be there regardless of whether or not anyone shows up.  I can’t imagine the money that is going to be made in those short hours of Thanksgiving night are going to make or break Walmart’s bottom line, and you and I both know they won’t.  The additional sales, might help increase their take for the season, but that will be a surplus on top of what they would have made anyway.  In fact, I would wager this is a very small percentage of their holiday marketing deluge.  It is not Walmart’s, or Kmarts, or Sears’ fault for this, it is the consumer who is willing to show up to spend money.

Please Leave Christmas Alone

leave christmas alone black friday
How much commercialization is too much? Enjoy your sales.

This extension of the marketing of Christmas and the attack on the little family time we have left can be stopped really easily by simply not showing up.  If there is nobody there, then the corporations that run Christmas will not pursue it, their advertising schemes will find a more natural outlet.  Maybe they will see that there is money to be made in common sense, but that will never happen as long as the sheep, that is the American consumer continues to participate in this foolishness.  Everyone seems to forget that this should be a season about love and not about buying more crap that nobody really needs. What is the point? What do you need?

A Dark Forecast for Christmas

Scrooge isn’t the only one in trouble

The future looks dark for those who participate in this type of marketing, because before long the sales will creep up through the week, Black Friday will begin on the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  There will be promotions that give you savings for visiting their stores on consecutive days during the week.  Or the inevitable heavy barrage of the commercialism of Christmas will move into October, because some marketer realizes that all consumers do exactly what the advertisers tell them to. Sad. But what can we expect when the message people get every day is that more is better and even more stuff is better than that.

Boycott Black Friday

Boycott Black Friday
I would add, all corporate retail outlets to this boycott, stay home spend time with your family, or read a book.

The only way to end this foolishness is to stop participation and boycott the whole mess. Stay away from the stores and ignore the marketing.  The argument that you will never get that kind of deal again is foolishness, they will still give you the deals later in the season. I am not sure you know, but stores are still competing for your money right up until Christmas, there will be other sales.  This will not hurt the bottom line of any business, because you will still shop and buy whatever you were going to buy anyway.  The corporate world would have you believe that the entire economy is coming unpinned if the sales on Black Friday aren’t up to expectation.  Don’t believe it, that is all media driven foolishness, designed to get you to buy, buy, and buy some more.

Use Your Brain and Think, Make your own Decision 

If you have a brain in your head, and you can make your own decisions, then don’t participate in Black Friday in any form or fashion.  For the many who will sell their integrity and in effect their soul for a cheap television at Walmart, there is really no hope for you at this time.  Stuff doesn’t make you happy, it only gives you more stuff.  No matter how much stuff you accumulate, it will not fill the void and emptiness you have inside.

I hope you all experience safe travel and have a happy day eating turkey, watching football and spending time with your family, I think that is what this time of year should be all about.

I Am Addicted to Facebook

The Addiction of Facebook

Addicted to Facebook
Pretty addicted, How much? Friend me and find out.

About five years ago, I had never heard of Facebook, and I was intimidated by the new technology that was coming out on a seemingly daily basis, but learning to adapt and overcome the hurdles that life has put in front of me, I slowly integrated myself into the world of social media.  I started my Facebook account in 2007 according to my timeline and it has been slowly infiltrating my daily life since.  Now I have to check Facebook to see everything from the latest news, to what music to like and who I should be listening to for fashion tips.  Alright I have never really cared about fashion but you get my point. Facebook has gone from something I have never heard of to the single most dominant form of media in my life today, in about five years and I am not sure if that is good or not.  I do know that is has changed the way I look at the world.

At first I didn’t check it very much, but I found out that you could connect with other people you haven’t seen in a very long time, which was kind of great.  Each connection you made was like a walk through your past, remembering friendships, enemies, good times, bad times, everything out there you can imagine.  For me it was the older connections that really meant and still mean a lot to me, people that I knew when I was young.  There  was a shared experience of youth that provides a common bond between people.  Reconnecting in this way is the strength of this medium for people my age, I think.

So you wanna be friends?

Check to be friends
It used to be this easy to see what someone’s intentions were. Facebook makes it even easier, but I think the note works better.

This is the one of the oldest questions that I remember being in kindergarten and asking this question and there is something very basic and reassuring you get from the answer.  If the answer is no then you know that whomever it was is really a jerk and not someone you can rely on.  Or if the answer is yes, there is a warm feeling inside that someone out there likes me.  Or they really just want to creep around my page and see what I am up to.  I am an optimist so I will stick to the thought that they really like me. It says, “you are ok, you are alright! You have a friend.”  Even if you have a thousand friends, there is always room for one more friend or two, I mean can we really ever have too many friends?   I still love reconnecting with someone after many years and seeing what they look like now, and all of that type of stuff that everybody does but doesn’t admit to.  I think there is a desire in everyone to connect, to revisit those shared experiences.

Technology has Grown My Addiction

Since the cell phone companies have been so creative with their little smart phones, now there is no time of night or day that I can’t just flip on my phone to see what is happening

future facebook addict
Come to think of it, I did write on the wall when I was young.

on Facebook.  Honestly I will check it three or four times an evening, just to make sure that I don’t miss anything.  It has also become my number one news source. There was an earthquake in Maine in October.  I didn’t feel any vibrations, I didn’t see any damage, I only knew it happened because Facebook told me so.  If there is an emergency, Facebook tells me.  Traffic trouble?  Facebook tells me.  Nuclear explosion, Facebook tells me.  Surprisingly, Facebook seems to be significantly faster than and just as accurate as the main stream media and more so if you count FoxNews as a major media source.

So here I am in my mid forties, unable to go longer than an hour without looking at Facebook on my phone because something might happen.  Thank you Mark Zuckerberg for complicating my life.

Facebook Messages Are Like Letters Used To Be, I think.

Messages on Facebook are awesome, I love to get them.  Somebody liked my link? Hell yes

This is what a letter looks like. For those who don’t know this was Facebook before the internet.

they do!  Someone commented on my post? That’s what I am talking about!  When I get a message on Facebook it must be what it was like back when you got letters in the mail.  Someone took the time to think of you, write it down and send it to you.  That is awesome.  Except when someone you work with realizes that the only communication you will consistently check is Facebook and starts sending you messages there that are totally about work stuff.  What a rip-off! I think, “Wow, look at those messages! This is a great day.”  Then I click on it and see what it is……….it is like someone just cancelled the Super Bowl.  Even if it is really vital information that will make someone money and it should be good news, I can’t help but be significantly disappointed in getting work messages on Facebook.

Let’s Ask Facebook

So here it is 2012, I  can’t imagine what kind of technology is coming next, but no matter what it is, you can bet your ass that it will involve an easier way to interact with Facebook.  I am not sure if I am happy or sad about this, I will have to check Facebook and see what it tells me to feel.

Fighting the Angry Chicken

I just wanted to ask, “How was your day?”

There are many times in life when you have to fight to be a man, today was not one of those days.  As I was minding my own business, thinking about enjoying the warm weather and getting some work done. I was interrupted by the gentle clucking of chickens outside.  The place where I am fortunate enough to work has their own chickens, that they do get their own eggs from, and so they serve a purpose.  I have seen them almost daily, and my interactions with them have until today been of the most perfunctory in nature.

So this takes us to today, I hear the chickens clucking away outside, and I decided that I should go out and talk to them and see what all the clucking was about.  I mean there must

chickens are mad
I was simply acting like the chickens, I guess I must have done too good a job.

have been something happening.  So I approached the herd of chickens like I always did, with a friendly disposition and the intent of just saying, “Hello chickens, what is happening on this beautiful November day?”

The conversation started much as I thought it would, I milled about with the chickens and made my own fake clucking sound, thinking this would ingratiate me with the rest of the flock.  Seeing no animosity, I took that as encouragement and started to duck my head and

chicken attacks
Out of nowhere, like a shark, he attacked!! I reacted with bravery as you can see.

mimic the motions the fowl were making.  This turned out to be a bad idea.  As one of the roosters took this action to be a threat I think.

Out of nowhere he pecked at my shoe.  Which more startled me than scared me.  This chicken was really mad at my shoe apparently as he continued to attack.  I tried to reason with the chicken and calmly explained that I didn’t mean any harm and if he went away I might bring him some food.  He didn’t buy it so  I of course went into my natural defense mode, which is reminiscent of the crane technique from the movie the Karate Kid.  Mr. Miyagi said when you do this right, there is no defense.  He obviously had never tussled with an angry chicken before.

I hoped he would get bored and stop his attack before I had to get serious and move to the second part of my self defense training.  (The fetal position)  Fortunately I was able to stay

crane technique
I instinctively practiced the crane technique from the Karate Kid, it seemed appropriate due to the opponent.

 

calm and stop laughing long enough to think of an acceptable exit strategy.

The irony was heavy on my mind that I was running away from an overly combatant chicken: Who was the chicken?   I did learn that if a chicken does start to attack you, if you run away, they will not be able to follow you very far and they will immediately attack your friend who was taking pictures of that whole incident.  So it all worked out in the end I got away with out being harmed by a chicken or doing harm to a chicken.  I also haven’t laughed so hard in a long time.

Running away from the chicken
I showed him who the better chicken was! How do you defeat a chicken?  You become one!

 

 

Voting Was A Great Experience

by Jonathan Hilton

Voting Was A Great Experience

voting in the 2012 election
Picture with my Ballot in the voting booth

There are many people today on November 7, who are disappointed with the outcome of the election, because in our country we all have the option to believe whatever we want. There are people who feel disillusioned and have hurt feelings, and conversely there are many who  are feeling like there is a brand new day ahead of them and there is a lot of hope for tomorrow based on these election results.  I do not belong to either group and I will tell you why.

The first thing that I am thankful for is that I have the right to vote, what I think is right regardless of what anyone else may think, I am able to make my own considerations about issues and make the choice for myself how I want to vote. There is no negative ad on television that can tell me I am wrong.  Neither can the obviously conservative individuals or blatantly liberal continuously posting on Facebook, the decision is all mine to do what I think is right, and that is a feeling of individual power and pride in my country that can’t be equaled anywhere else in the world.

placing my ballot into the machine
Placing my ballot into the machine, I had to get permission for someone to take this picture. I can’t imagine that could be illegal

After a long month of nothing but the worst common element of fear being broadcast by both  of our major political parties, it is quite frustrating to listen to both sides beat up the other about every conceivable issue.  I am feeling surprisingly good today, because the negativity could possibly end. Then if both sides actually worked together to solve all of the issues the country is facing, and look at the real way that things are done in Washington, then maybe the next election won’t be so polarizing.  I can always hope.  For me though, nothing can ruin the enjoyment I got from exercising my constitutional right, voting the way my conscience dictated.  There is no mention of political candidates or parties, because the choice of who I voted for is my business and nobody else’s.

The one issue that I was happy to see passed in the great State of Maine is Question #1 and now same sex marriage is now legal, and there is just a little less discrimination in the world.  This was a question of human rights and discrimination. Nobody is going to be compelled to enter into same sex relationships, nobody’s religious beliefs are going to be questioned, churches are not going to be required to change their doctrine, in fact the world will move around the sun much as it has throughout history, there just won’t be discrimination against same sex couples in the State of Maine.  More freedom can only be a good thing.

On this Wednesday, November 7, 2012 the sun has risen and it will more than likely set, even though the election didn’t go the way some wanted and did go the way some others have delighted in.  Every person in the country has the right to love their families, enjoy their work, look forward to the future, and to be happy regardless of who is going to be president for the next four years.  Everyone had a chance to participate, talk about and argue over the issues in public, and there were no arrests for thinking differently.  It is a great country still, we have survived world wars, depressions, civil wars and foreign attacks and still we are here.  There have been both extreme liberals and conservatives in the White House and still our country is a great place to live, and I will still feel the same way four years from now.

voting was awesom
The facebook wall post that is supportive of voting
  • Voting with a black face in a white place
  • First Time Voting: The Experience
  • an open letter and a plea to listen before you vote.

The Forty one Year Fight

Mike Martin and I have been friends for forty one years.  There are not many people in the

41 year fight
Even though Mike is always wrong, he still argues with me all the time. He is so stubborn.

world outside of your family that you have known your entire life, and still call them your friend. I am fortunate to have had a friend for most of my life, who is cantankerous, stubborn and is often not right about anything! He would tell you the same thing about me.  We work together right now and that leads to many conflicts about virtually every subject.  When I started this new Picture Project I was in between two of these conflicts, so it only made sense that the first picture should be a symbol of the fights we have on most days.  These “fights” are more philosophical battles, where we do not agree on much of anything.  But when the chips are down, I know I can count on him and he on me.

The core of our conflict has boiled down to the essence of our philosophies, and all of our conflicts stem from this premise:

My Philosohpy: That there is a right and a wrong, that everyone deep down knows it and that morality is definite and binding.  (he refers to this as black and white)

Mike Martin Philosophy:  That life is lived on a continuum of gray area, sometimes things are right, sometimes wrong depending on the circumstances.  (I refer to this as the whatever way the wind blows philosophy)

I could go into each of he specific debates that we have had over the years but when I write about it I seem to be even more clearly right than when the original argument occurred.  Needless to say that we have argued over philosophy, thought, morals, honesty, choices, how to stop drug addiction, and even judgments of others.

Needless to say these arguments have traveled with us from Belgrade all over the State of Maine as we have gone to different locations for work related stuff.  There are a few things we do agree on though.

*Greenville was a great place to grow up

*Our parents were pretty good people

*The Patriots and Red Sox are awesome

Having had some experience with people that are friendly to you face, but not really a friend it is good to know that even though we argue all the time, it is good to have at least one friend that I can count on, no matter what happens.

So this argument has been going on for 41 years and even though I am always right, it still continues, some day he may even get the last word.

But not today because as usual I am right!!!!!

fortyoneyearfight
Always appreciate your real friends.
  • On Fighting
  • No, you’re not entitled to your opinion
  • Keeping Sartre, and other passions

30 Questions that Changed the Way I Think About the World

30 day challenges
The First of Many I Hope

by Jonathan Hilton

Have you ever seen the focus of your life change in thirty days? This is the experience that I have had over the last month as I have looked to improve my writing skill and myself, as a person as well.

This is an evaluation of my project to answer one question each day for thirty days, and to work on putting more of myself into my writing for the purpose of being more honest and open about the things I write about.

The beginning of this project

It began with a conversation with a collaborator who is a great writer and I was wishing that I was more honest in my writing; it was the conversation that led me to see this video on YouTube about this guy who undertook thirty day challenges to work on things he needs to work on.  Almost immediately I came across a list of “30 Questions That Will Change the Way you think about the world.”  The fact that there weren’t 35, 25 or 50

30 day challenges the beginning
The beginning of any journey starts with one small step.

questions, led me to believe that this was the project for me.

The rules I developed on the fly, but stuck to them until the end of the project, because I need rules apparently.

Rule #1 – had to answer a question each day and it had to be at least 300 words.  Many I could have answered in a sentence, but that wouldn’t have helped develop my thoughts.

Rule #2- I had to share my answers on Facebook, so that someone could read them if they wanted to. This really kept me more diligent and serious; I avoided some wise ass answers, because someone might read it.

Rule # 3- Much like fight club, I couldn’t talk about what I was doing.  I posted each question on FB every day, mostly to get some ideas for the days when I was low on creativity.  I was interested by the responses, and the different people they came from. I really appreciated the responses from everyone even if there was only one time; I read them all and appreciated it greatly.

I also published my answers on my website www.jonathanhilton.com and they are all there if you check the categories, Thirty Questions will bring them all up.

What Was the Goal of this project?

growth from contemplation
Answering from the heart was key

The goal of the project was more honesty and putting more of myself into my writing, which I thought was a weakness in my overall writing, it is difficult to put personal things out there, what you believe, what you think, but I think that if you never overcome this, you will be untrue to yourself the rest of your life, so that was the motivation. Most importantly I wanted to be able to write from a place that I didn’t care if someone liked it or not. That it was my answer and that would have to be good enough.

When someone asked me what the questions were about, I told them, if they wanted to know my answer, I directed them to my website.  Other than that I simply posted a question in the morning and then answered it on my website.  I never looked at the next question until the current question was answered.

What Did I Learn?

new person
we are all trying to remember who we are.

The first thing I learned was that my philosophy is developing and that I have a lot of consistency in what I believe in. What I have been working on personally has pervaded my thought and I believe that I have a great start.

Secondly when you ask one question and find an answer to that question, there are always going to be more questions that result from thought and that is ok.  The questions were answered and there were always a bunch more that cropped up.

Third, that there are different answers to questions, everyone has a different perspective and opinion and that is ok. All you can do is be open minded, yet faithful to what has been proven to you.

There are a lot of good people in the world and many have been asking themselves questions as well. Others are going to look for their answers in other places and find different behaviors satisfy them and they will find what they need to find in their answers, they may not have the same answers as you.

What Surprised Me?

There have been several neat relationships that have developed through the process of asking questions. Some people that I hadn’t heard from in years were prompted to contact me and see what the heck I was doing.  Even with people I see every day it gave me a chance to not only have an opinion but support it and fight for it.  My understanding of people is definitely higher, and my understanding of myself really was a surprise.

The many responses I got from such a wide range of people, some serious and some extremely funny, some sad, some just plain old sincere.

personal growth
Success, Success, Success

The most surprising thing was the freedom that came from just practicing the power of action into this thought process.  Creating and producing something that was completely of my own, based on what I believe is liberating. Many people have opinions on everything, but never publish them or have to stand by them which allows for a waffling on the beliefs. I believe that through answering these questions, my thoughts are there to be agreed with disagreed with defended or adjusted as they should be.  The biggest surprise was the power of the simple action on my own creativity and understanding of myself and others.

Was it a success?

I think by any measure the process was a success, the questions did actually change the way I looked at the world, and understood other people, so that awareness led to growth, and growing is a good thing.  I encourage anyone who has something that they want to work on to adopt a thirty day challenge of your own.  You will be surprised how it changes the way you look at the world, it definitely changed my perception of the world and those in it.

I definitely have written from the place inside me that does not care what anyone thinks about what I think or write, which is a major victory for my own self development. I think that if I can do that then everything else will be easy.

What is Next?

Well it is inevitable that one action is going to lead to another, so there are bound to be more of these 30 day challenges, in all areas of my life, in places that I feel I need personal work on.  So branching this type of growth out into other aspects of my life is definitely going to be a goal for me.  Taking more action to find what I am looking for.

 Here is a complete list of the questions with links to my answers. 

 

  • Hi, how are you?
  • New “YouAsked It” Site Posts Twitter Questions For You To Answer [Updates]

Thirty Questions to Understanding

by Jonathan Hilton

It all started so innocently. I was looking for a way to improve my writing and to increase the original content on my website.  I was also looking for a way to write more about what I feel without a filter and to express what is going on in my mind.  A friend motivated me to do this, and that led me to watch this video about how this guy had done a string of personal thirty-day challenges to improve his life in some way.

This challenge resonated with me, and I started to think about what kind of project I could work on and improve my writing and expressing myself in thirty days.  That was the day I saw it, thirty questions that will change your life. I didn’t check them out or read over them in advance, the whole project clicked in my mind, and I was committed.  I would answer one question honestly for the next thirty days and publish them on my blog.

I have been right about only reading one question at a time, so I only deal with one a day.  It has been a revelation personally.  Many people say what they would do in a particular situation or are quick to share their opinion, but it takes quite a bit more to put it into writing and to place it out there for anyone to read.  The key for me has been to write honestly from a place that is honest and true, that doesn’t care for approval or worry about disapproval because it is right exactly how it was answered.

Also, I posted only the question on Facebook to get some ideas, and have found some interesting things by doing this.  I have gained some insights from some, and if they ever wonder why I am writing all of these questions, then they can read my answers and see what I am all about in life.  If they aren’t interested, that is ok too.

Here is a list of the questions, you can click on the questions and read my answer if you would like.

  1.  How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

2.  –  Which is worse, failing or never trying?

3. When it’s all said and done, will you have said more than you’ve done?

4. What is the one thing you’d most like to change about the world?

  1. Are you doing what you believe in, or are you settling for what you are doing?

6. To what degree have you controlled the course your life has taken?

7. -Are you more worried about doing things right or doing the right things?

  1. If you could offer a newborn child, only one piece of advice, what would it be?
  2. Would you break the law to save a loved one?
  3. Have you ever seen insanity where you later saw creativity?
  4. -What’s something you know you do differently than most people?
  5. How come the things that make you happy don’t make everyone happy?
    • What one thing have you not done that you want to do? What’s holding you back?

14. -Do you push the elevator button more than once? Do you believe it makes the elevator faster?

  1. Why are you, you?

16. -Have you been the kind of friend you want as a friend?

  1. Would you rather lose all of your old memories or never be able to make new ones?

18. Is it possible to know the truth without challenging it first? 

19.  Has your greatest fear ever come true?

20. At what time in your recent past, have you felt most passionate and alive?

21. If not now, then when?

22.  If you haven’t achieved it yet, what do you have to lose?

  1. Have you ever been with someone, said nothing, and walked away feeling like you just had the best conversation ever?

24. When was the last time you marched into the dark with only the soft glow of an idea you strongly believed in?

25. If you knew the world was ending tomorrow, who would you make sure you visited today?

26. Would you be willing to reduce your life expectancy by ten years to become extremely attractive or famous?

27. What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

28. What would you do differently if you knew nobody would judge you?

29. When was the last time you noticed the sound of your breathing?

30. Decisions are being made right now. The question is: Are you making them for yourself, or are you letting others make them for you?

Netflix OCD

Like many new things that have come from technology, I have often been slow to a, ccept them, I once swore I would never get a cell phone, now like everybody else in the world, my cellphone is my lifeline to the world.  Call me, text me, check Facebook, all involves my cell phone.  That is kind of how my unhealthy relationship with Netflix began.

Royal Pains Early Cast
Hank Med, How can we make you feel so much better today?

I first heard of Netflix when they came out and thought, “That’s dumb, I would never use that.”  Since I am somewhat stubborn I stuck with that until about two years ago, I bit and signed up for the free month trial.  I was skeptical because I didn’t think that there was any television show or movie that I would like enough to want to watch each episode of.  What I found was not only would I like it, I would become obsessed with it.

It all began innocently enough, I liked the show Royal Pains and wanted to catch up on the doings of Hank Med, so I got those DVD’s first, and at the time you could get dvds in the mail and stream shows.  The first Royal Pains DVD had an episode of a show called Psych on it, which I had heard of but never seen.  It was humerous so the next day I started streaming the first episode of Psych.

Psych picture
We Love Psychic Detectives

This article is called Netflix OCD because much like a person with OCD who can’t control their compulsive behavior, I could not control my viewing of this show.  I had to keep watching, each episode in order, in every spare moment.  I would watch at night and bargain with myself, “OK it is 1 o’clock in the morning and you have to work tomorrow, only one more episode then that’s it for today.” Two episodes later I would finally pass out and that would be that.

Finally the day came that I finished all of the episodes of Psych that existed.  I was finished.  Perhaps now it would end, my Netflix OCD would end.  That didn’t happen.

Greek Cast from ABC Show Greek
Greek Cast

I got hooked on shows that I knew were dumb, but started watching and couldn’t stop.  Greek was one of these.  I know college isn’t like that but I found it fascinating to watch.  I was hooked and the pattern continued.

Then came The Guardian, which was a short lived show with only three seasons about a stuffy lawyer in Pittsburgh of all places.  Simon Baker of the Mentalist was the star and I found the show riveting as the producers and directors clearly searched for a cast that would make the show go and stories that would interest an audience.  Finally ending with the two stars having a baby with down syndrome.

The Cast of The Closer
Don’t Mess With Brenda Lee Johnson!

The next show was In Plain Site.  It was about two US Marshals and the people that they protected.  There were only three seasons of this so for me that is a momentary distraction.  I moved on to the Closer and watched all of the seasons available on that little treasure.  I was in a full blown addiction and didn’t want to be cured.

I would even watch series that I didn’t particularly like like Saving Grace.  Nice premise, but characters totally unlikable and stupid.  I was glad when that was over, and I could stop watching.  Then I started watching Scrubs.

Finally I had to do something before my life was consumed with old shows like Magnum PI and WKRP in Cincinnati.  So I quit cold turkey and started to read books instead.  I was running out of things to watch anyway.  Hopefully someday I will be able to handle the power of Netflix in a more healthy way, but for now I am going to have to keep going to Netflix anonymous and trying to find my entertainment in books.

 

  • Netflix: The One Mistake That Might Haunt Them Forever
  • More On-Demand Goodness: “Adventure Time,” “Robot Chicken,” More Coming To Netflix
  • New ‘Arrested Development’ to Debut in May
  • 5 Things to Watch on Netflix This Weekend

If You Are Speeding You Are an Idiot

speeding is for idiots
If You are speeding,
You are an IDIOT!

It doesn’t matter who you are at one time or another in your life you have made the decision to drive over the speed limit to get there a little bit quicker. I have seemingly noticed too many people who are in too much of a hurry to get wherever they are going. I wanted to present the facts of why you shouldn’t speed as they were reported to me by my Grandfather many years ago. I think about them every time I see a young person commit crazy maneuvers in traffic because their destination is seemingly more important than the safety of all of the other people on the road. I would like to talk to them like my Grandfather talked to me and simply say, if you are speeding you are an idiot.

“Everybody’s going somewhere, Riding just as fast as they can ride
I guess they’ve got a lot to do, Before they can rest assured
Their lives are justified, Pray to God for me baby
He can let me slide.”Jackson Browne

It’s Not Everybody else’s Fault you are late

car crashes from speed
If you speed you are likely to get into a car accident

Many people feel that because they are late then their radical driving is justified and everyone else on the road should have to endure the tailgating, angry gestures and potential accidents provided by the perennially late travelers.  Now if you have to be somewhere, like work, before a certain time and it is really important to you, like important enough to drive 90 MPH or cut people off or just drive like a maniac in general. Then perhaps you should just, well I don’t know, plan on giving yourself plenty of time to get where you are going. You can’t use oversleeping as an excuse, because either you didn’t get enough sleep or didn’t plan on enough time to get ready in the morning.  You do not have the right to get into an accident because you are simply in a hurry. Your accident could cost you your life, or even worse the life of someone else that didn’t have anything to do with the fact that you were late. Plan ahead, and if you are going to be late, accept that fact and do better planning tomorrow.

How Much Time Do You Really Save?

your are an idiot
This is you if your speed.

Now comes the common sense part that always seems to escape people’s comprehension. If you are driving eighty instead of fifty, how much actual time are you saving yourself. Remember this is driving 80 not just 70, which is more likely and much more common. When you are passing six cars in a row on a two lane road because you just have to get going you should keep this in mind.  This involves a little algebra so I am sure that many of the people I have seen in the last few days will have trouble comprehending this, but please take a little time and you may just learn something and not be so much of an idiot.

Let’s say that you have a 20 minute commute to work which is pretty reasonable in this area. Just for arguments sake, there are no stop signs it is just a straight shot to work and you will be able to drive as fast and crazy as you want. If you figure it out mathematically, if you can maintain a constant speed of 80 MPH then the trip would take you fifteen minutes. If you traveled at a much safer speed of 60 MPH then the same trip is going to take you 20 minutes. So by driving like a loser and endangering your life and those of everyone around you you are at the most saving five minutes. If you get in an accident or more likely get stopped for speeding all of that time you saved is gone.

Now add in all of the other factors, like stop lights and areas where the speed limit is much lower, and you will decrease this difference, so it is likely in the end that by the time you get where you are going you have driven like a total moron and you have saved yourself a grand total of two minutes if your are lucky. I hope you think about this the next time you pull some NASCAR move on the road or shake your fist with road rage.

Physics of it all makes you an Idiot as well

When you are traveling at a higher rate of speed you are removing much of your ability to stop, turn or react to any emergency situation, like having a tire blow out or an animal run into the road or another driver is perhaps a bigger idiot than you are and is driving even more recklessly than you. the slower you go the more opportunity you will have to compensate for the unexpected. It is simple physics so it should be easily understood that moving at a slower rate of speed is safer.

As you grow older and get a little more life experience you will start to understand that the world does not revolve around you and your schedule. Hopefully you will just realize this fact in the normal flow of life, and not because something tragic has happened to you. Or you haven’t driven your car off the road or cause the death of someone else because you were just in a hurry. So please stop being an idiot and drive under control.

 

Personal Growth, Self Improvement, Positive Thinking