As a younger person,  I often got impatient with what life brought. Hurry up! Let us get to the next stage already. Being impatient is one of the weaknesses and follies of youth. There are patterns in life, and each has its purpose. As a young person, I didn’t look for them. Life presents many challenging circumstances, thrills, accomplishments, and disappointments. Breathing space is defined as a temporary interval of quiet or lack of activity, a time when life gives you a space to look around and take a breath or two. There is a lull period after any big moment, positive or negative,  where a person needs a chance to gather themselves before moving toward the next goal, adventure, or challenge. It is a natural time to reflect, evaluate, and adjust to your life. Learn to value the lulls.

Lack of Action time

Unfortunately, the period of breathing space is not appreciated or valued particularly highly in our society, and it is looked at as wasted time or an unwanted time of emptiness. We work to fill all of our moments with something. Games, TV, movies, or music in the background all engage our minds and stop us from thinking. We are afraid of the quiet because of what we might learn, feel, or remember. These things might lead to change, but they will also lead to a greater appreciation for the lesson you just learned and how to apply it to the life you have in front of you.

Reflection is one of the most valuable things that I have taken from the space designed to catch your breath in my life. One of the best times happened when I had a chance to relax and reflect on what I had just experienced. Whenever there is an ending, take time to reflect on the experience. It may be only for a moment, or it may be longer, but we should use the time to evaluate the situation you have just gone through and process it appropriately. Recognize when you were wrong and just as important when you were wronged by someone else. Learn from what happened and realize the hard lessons a seemingly friendly person with poor intentions can cause.

How to Process

Processing the past can be difficult. It is always hard to get through the painful feelings to see the value of the experience. However, until this point, each occasion I have had has presented me with a value of some sort. Not all experiences are pleasant and warm, but that is not what life promises. Everything we see, hear, and do is design to allow us to learn something. If the same thing keeps coming to us, then there is something that we haven’t learned and need to face again. Like a student needs to pass Algebra 1  before moving on to more complex math. We need to retain specific life lessons before we move on to something else.

So take a moment and list the positive and negative things you have faced in this particular experience. What is the value? Sometimes the value isn’t known until you get down the line a bit from what just happened. Connecting the dots is easy to do. Looking back, those dots reveal the value of a situation. Even the most challenging circumstances teach you lessons. Probably precious ones. Process all things and learn what you can, and take it forward.

Cherish Quiet Moments

Reflection is a time that I have learned to cherish. To look at even bad situations that are not enjoyable to find the lesson. It has always been there, and if you don’t learn it now, it may just come up again later. Before long, you will be on to the next adventure of life, and there won’t be time to look back appropriately and find the value. When the lulls present themselves to you, take advantage and enjoy the moment. Seek the motive, understand

There is a lesson to learn about relationships, jobs, trips, the climb, the project, the graduation, the birth, the death …………  There are the answers you are seeking in a moment of quiet. They are waiting in the ripples of a lake, underneath the rocks of a river, or in the quiet moment. Take time and look for them. They provide beauty to all of life most people miss because they are too busy avoiding thought to look inside the lull and understand the message that is living there.

Life is full of patterns, of “highs” and “lows” that are only different moments of mental intensity that allow for learning or understanding. Many live their lives with questions and never take the time to seek the answers. Experience makes a deal with us that there is always a reason behind it. In reflection and contemplation, we will find it if you can recognize the lull and appreciate the silence and thought that it provides.

“Solitude is very different from a ‘time-out’ from our busy lives. Solitude is the very ground from which community grows. Whenever we pray alone, study, read, write, or simply spend quiet time away from the places where we interact with each other directly, we are potentially opened for a deeper intimacy with each other.” -Henri Nouwen

“We need quiet time to examine our lives openly, and honestly – spending quiet time alone gives your mind an opportunity to renew itself and create order.”- Susan L. Taylor

“It’s important to have quiet time and isolation.”- John Burnside