There are two sides to every coin, and in my life, I have found joy on one side and suffering on the other. The pain appears as the worst of things to experience in life and should be avoided at all costs.

Although I agree it is something that is not pleasant, it provides a necessary function for people. I wish things were always easy, and there was nothing but joy in my experience, but life offers difficult obstacles for each of us to overcome. How we think about our experience will bring us suffering or lessons. Pain is a choice of how we feel about each situation we are in life. It is a natural and inevitable part of life. We will have catastrophic loss and sadness in our lives. How we deal with it will define much of who we are and how successfully we live our lives. Your suffering is a choice and one I have made all too often.

Crutches of Life

Crutches are everywhere in life. These are things in our experience that limit us in one way or another. Some fall prey to wild pleasures and excesses in life, which distract you from your purpose and determine what can be accomplished. Others find jobs that are just enough above water to be acceptable but will never allow you to grow into the person you could be. All crutches of the world we adopt to “help” get us through life will cause suffering and move us further from ourselves. Life can seem like a prison if we let it. Keeping us confined to a particular place and set of circumstances. This limit is only the case if you choose to allow it. Or you can choose to be free in your actions and your mind.

Limiting my options is a game I played from early on. Allowing others to put their labels on me and the corresponding limits from the earliest moments in life. “You just aren’t athletic.” “That’s nice, but you will never make a living from it.” “You just aren’t very book smart.” Or one of a million other limiting statements I accepted as crutches and eventually even stopped questioning. Any belief that I have allowed to limit me in any way needed to be reevaluated and changed, even in a small way, because these are the chains that life has put on you, and you won’t eliminate the suffering they cause until you change them.

This reaction is a choice, and it isn’t as difficult as most would have you believe. Change is a constant and inevitable part of life, and you can fight against it or learn to choose to move with it. Ending this limiting suffering is a race between your mental capacities and your biological limitations. Some will win, and some will not. Which side will you be on?

Becoming Your True Self

All people are born with a purpose in life. All of those intentions are positive, and there is some message to bring or a goal to accomplish before our time is done. Unfortunately, we are almost immediately piled with expectations and experiences that push us further from that mission. The programming we receive is mainly in the name of love but delivered in the voice of fear. Parents generally want the best for their children, but often their idea of precisely what the “Best” means can make your choices seem “worst,” even if you are following your heart. Chasing your dreams is your life; nobody else’s.

The suffering that this can cause is lifelong and painful. With each step, a person takes in the direction of someone else’s expectations the further they get from their true self, and soon that person you were born is hidden behind a lot of trees and weeds. It can be challenging to find your way back. The further you have moved from your true essence, the higher the suffering is going to be. It seems like the journey back to who you are is never too far to reach or too late to start looking. The limits we accept are the ones that will affect us. So begin today looking for what message you were born to send and what gift you have to give.

Loss and Suffering

To live life and love others opens you up for the loss, which leads to suffering. If you have lost someone close to you, you know this kind of pain is a painful experience nobody wants to have. But life is a tenuous experience with no guarantees. We never know when the ride will be over should. It is easy to get lost in the routines of the days and take things for granted. Each day is a gift. Open it! Be motivated to do what you want to do, be with those that make you happy, and enjoy every moment.

Not only are the days a gift, but you should take the time to look at the beauty of your day. All the people in our lives are precious too. It is human nature to take things for granted, only realizing how consequential or special someone was when they had left us. Then we mourn the loss. Which is natural, but there is an opportunity every day to celebrate all those in your life, contributing to the experience of living life. It is a short ride, this life, and it makes no sense to spend the bulk of it in misery when you don’t have to. Spend it in appreciation of the magic that is you and your unique presence.

Emotional Rescue

We will all have emotions that bring us down. Anger and fear are natural reactions to life when you start to look at things from the perspective of, “What am I getting out of this?” Then you have to learn to deal with it and either let it consume you or change your thoughts, emotions, and actions to something more positive. I know it sounds natural, and when you feel anger or fear, it isn’t too easy to change. But YOU can modify it by looking at the thoughts causing your suffering and changing them to something else.

Find something or someone who brings out the positive in you. It seems like much of our suffering comes from our feelings of inadequacy, and to change means doing something more worthwhile. Learn what your emotions are telling you and how to change them from negative to positive for you, and you will find a tool to help you end some daily pain nobody needs to deal with in life.

Suffering is a message in life that we are attached to something temporary in a permanent way. Nothing in life is stable, and that is what makes it unique. So the choice is up to you in the end as it always is, spend your time suffering or spend your time in joy. It is all up to you.

“Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but the greatness of mind.” Aristotle

“The reward of suffering is experience.” –Harry S Truman

“Suffering by nature or chance never seems so painful as suffering inflicted on us by the arbitrary will of another.”- Arthur Schopenhauer