What do you do when things don’t go your way or life puts something in your less pleasant path? Often, the most straightforward approach is to resort to the ancient verbal exercise of complaining. We complain about the weather, our boss, our coworkers, our significant others, our family, our clothes, the time of year, or anything else I am sure you can think of. There is a feeling of expression that comes from this activity, and of course, misery does love company, but it is one of the unhealthiest things you can do. It spreads negativity and makes your mood sour and your life less enjoyable—time to stop complaining. You are choosing to be unhappy and, worse, to make everyone else who has to deal with you sad. Rather than complaint, appreciate.

It is the Victim Mentality

When you complain about something, you have chosen to adopt a victim’s mentality. You are no longer in charge of your thoughts, emotions, words, or actions. They are now being controlled by whatever you are complaining about. To complain about things you can’t control, like the weather, is an exercise in futility. All your complaints will make you feel bad, and your poison will spread to others around you. You will become a force of negativity and dread that people in their right mind should avoid. But those who are of a similar mentality will flock to it. Complain about something at work or home, and you are not in control. Your complaints control you, and the result will not be positive or pretty.

But you can stop being the victim as soon as you stop complaining about things. You are working from your power when you speak out for what you want or desire. All situations can be changed for the positive when you find your passion and express constructively what is bothering you and solve it. The weather is what it is. Complaining about things you can’t control is futile. But to speak to someone who is hurting you or doing something that irritates you is powerful. Face a problem with your action and your words.

Three Choices

You have three choices to make in all situations in life. Rather than spend your valuable time complaining about things that hurt or diminish your life, confront them and make one of three choices. The first choice is to change the situation. This can be done through conversation and honest expression of how something makes you feel. We often hide from our emotions because we fear them make us look weak. They don’t and tell us how we think about things now. Expressing them appropriately to lead to a change in a situation is robust and healthy. Changing is inevitable and constant; guiding this process forward to improve your life is a good thing.

The second choice is to accept things as they are. You are not willing to institute changes now, and if you are not going to do anything constructive, rather than spending your energy complaining, you should accept things the way they are for the moment. It is a better fate than to be the victim of something. Perhaps they aren’t where you want them but as you decide what you want, accept the way things are. As long as you are physically and psychologically safe, get what is, move on, and be happy about your life. When it comes to weather, there is little choice but to take it as it is.

The third choice is difficult as well. Rather than complain about things and be a victim, leave the situation. Just put it behind you and no longer participate in it anymore. This works for all things, relationships, jobs, hobbies, friendships, or anything else you can think of. What are you waiting for if there is nothing but complaining and you are not the least happy? Life is too short to be spent in unhappy circumstances, which isn’t good for you or anyone else.

Change it, accept it as it is or leave it. Never complain. 

“Stay away from ‘still’ people. Still broke, complaining, still hating, and still nowhere.” Anonymous

 “Complaining never makes anything better.” Anonymous

“If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.” Maya Angelou

 “Go 24 hours without complaining. (Not even once). Then watch how your life starts changing.” Anonymous