Things I Learned Listening to Meat Loaf

A few years ago, I was driving down the road with my best friend of forty years when the song “Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad” y Meat Loaf came on the radio.

We laughed and said how stupid the song was, but then almost without our conscious choice, we were singing along loudly and we both knew all of the words to that song. Two dudes in their mid-forties who obviously had too much time on their hands as adolescents.

As we talked about the song and the message that it sends, I started to realize that there was a reason that some people of our generation (me) have a difficult time with relationships because we spent our adolescence listening to Meat Loaf, building up some quite unreal and pretty unhealthy expectations of ourselves and what we should look for in relationships.

In a different conversation with another friend I realized that I knew the words to every song on Meat Loaf’s Bat out of Hell Album. A fact that I am neither proud or ashamed of, but in awe. As I listened to each song for the first time in years, the lessons from the songs came back. These meatloaf lessons were hard-hitting and impactful. Like I was my seventh grade self again.

This is what I learned from listening to Meat Loaf when it comes to relationships. R ember, I listened to this music as an impressionable teenager and this is the top  things I learned about life from this talented musician.

***Bat Out of Hell Notes***

• The Pyre can be burning, even on the edge of ice field and somewhere there is a tank full of time.
• Heaven can in fact wait.
• Long ago and far away was so much better than it is today.
• There is no paradise by the dashboard light

• If you have trouble with an answer, then you should sleep on it before you decide to give an answer in the morning about loving someone forever.
•  Having promiscuous sex in a car is going to lead to a life time of regret and have you praying for the end of time so that you can escape a bad relationship. On the good side, keeping  your word is important regardless of the consequences.
•  Being all revved up is no good if you don’t have someplace to go, especially on a Saturday night.
• Don’tlook for gold on a sandy beach, don’t drill for oil on city streets or a ruby in a mountain of rocks they will lead you to frustration. Just play the lottery.
• Crying icicles is worse than crying tears
• There ain’t no Coupe de Ville at the bottom of my Crackerjack box.
•  If you keep on telling someone you want them, you need them, but there ain’t no way you are ever gonna love them. They will eventually accept it as a pretty good deal.
• I am in fact glowing like the metal on the edge of a knife
• It is cold and lonely in the deep dark night, but as long as you listen to baseball you will be OK
•  Just because it never felt so good or felt so right doesn’t mean it will end up good or right.

**** two out of three is in fact, quite bad, if you only do 66% of your work, you will flunk at school or get fired from your job, you will be seen as a failure, so Meat Loaf was wrong and Jim Steinman was not a math major or very motivated apparently.

Gratitude

Thank you Meat Loaf for all of the great life lessons you taught us on your educational and entertaining album Bat Out Of Hell, I am grateful and I am sure my whole generation is currently dealing with your relationship “advice.”

There are certain things that time will make nostalgic and music from your youth will allow you to travel to a simpler time. List n to Bat out of Hell when you have a moment, and as you uncontrollably sing along,  think about how messed up the lyrics are. You will understand suddenly why you have a problem committing in a relationship today.