Tag Archives: Am I loving?

Trickster

I once believed I was an intelligent individual. Life had given me many perceived answers as to how to live, the best patterns of thought to follow, and a philosophy of thinking to guide me. Yet, life is a miserable trickster sometimes, and I had forgotten this important fact. It gives you enough knowledge to build up a false sense of security in your actions and then pulls the foundation in your mind away, letting you fall hard on the unforgiving concrete of learning. Congratulations! You have just moved to a new level of understanding. If you survive the harrowing experience and manage to find a reason to continue with the game of life, then you have won. I once thought I was a relatively wise man, but much of what I believed to be the truth has been proven empty in the pale open light of reality.

I Am Nothing

Wisdom knows that I am nothing. This line is the beginning of a quote I love, and it always reminds me to put my thoughts, actions, and experiences into a proper perspective. No matter what I do in my life, it is all relatively insignificant to the world in the big scheme of things. Nobody cares if I am kind, loving, understanding or mean, hateful or judgmental. The world will continue, and in effect, all that I am is nothing. The world will keep turning without me. Billions of people will rise in the morning, whether I am here or not. Lives will continue, the world will go on, with or without my contribution.

Yet, a small part of the world may benefit from my decision to be caring, kind, accepting, and loving toward those in my life. All I can do is make my actions positively represent my best self and best efforts. The thought that I am nothing with no more influence than anyone else but no less either is Wisdom itself. I have long stopped judging myself and my philosophies as good or bad because they are things I think and experience. I know that I am nothing, and in that knowledge, I have the potential to make a difference.

I am Everything

Love teaches me that I am Everything. In my experience, the human heart is not well equipped to handle love. The emotions of our lives come to us in waves, love, lust, anger, hatred, jealousy, pain, anger, joy, attachment, kindness, meanness, loss, gain, and many more things are all wrapped up in the emotion we describe as love. There are so many things wound up into this experience nobody can take it all quickly. But in love, we can find our best selves and abilities to rise to the surface of who we are.

Inside of us is the constant battle of choice and love is at the forefront of this. It brings heightened experiences and magnifies all the choices we make around them. The more we love ourselves and others, the more our life has to contribute to the world. In being conscious of how our thoughts of love materialize in the world. The closer we are to being our best selves. Love knows I am Everything and in Everything, from nature to thoughts in my head. We are vital to the world because of our capacity to see the value in others and life. This view is often obscured by the painful needs of our false selves or ego. We can’t see our love’s value or capacity because we are too worried about our needs not being met. Remember, love knows you are Everything.

Life is In Between

So we look to Wisdom to know we are nothing and love to understand we are Everything, but then there is the experience of life. We have to be able to look at our experiences and quantify them in some way. It is tough for me because I am constantly moving between these two different realities, and the closer I am to Wisdom, the more lonely and sad I feel. So is it better to be less wise and more blissful in experiencing love each day? I think the phrase is, ignorance is bliss.

I do know that the only person who controls the amount of love I give to the world is me. Circumstances are what they are. The choices of others are theirs to make, and they define their lives. It seems very unwise to allow them to dictate how you feel about yourself. That seems silly and dangerous. A person could be mentally unbalanced, and letting their vacillations of thoughts and caring dictate your reality will make you mentally unstable. I hope I can choose to be wise and loving.

Being Wise and Loving

I hope that in the game of life, I can learn to practice the Wisdom of knowing I am not the center of the universe. Understanding the love I can contribute to the world can make a difference in some small way. By choosing to put the well-being of others and those, I affect in my life. Making positive choices each day and in each situation I face is the best decision I can make. I am choosing to be kind, not mean. To be honest and not lie. To be accepting of others and not judgmental. To be giving, not selfish. To be appreciative, not greedy.

There is only one way that I will find out: to live life and hope that I can navigate this minefield of emotions, thought, and action—turning my life into something that resembles value to others and myself. It must be a pleasant existence to float through things and not wonder about anything in any deep and contemplative way. But that is not my path. Is it one of Wisdom, one of love, or one that contains a balance within? Only in the end will the answer be revealed if it has all been false sense or not.

“Wisdom knows I am nothing,
Love knows I am Everything,
and between the two, my life moves.”