Tag Archives: Authentic Self

22

The Power of Your Choice

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What do we all have in common that makes us human?

diffent the same

No matter where you live or what you do to survive, life always boils down to our choices. From who you choose as friends to how responsible you are, it is all decided consciously. We all can choose what we experience.

 Many people have a hard time accepting responsibility for these choices in their lives, but if you look at yourself honestly and in an unbiased fashion, you will see the power your preferences have had on your life’s success or failure.

 Yet often, we fail to look closer and see the common threads that run through us all. Our choices in what we see, who we love, where we go, and what we do are all made by us alone. Think along with me and recognize the power of your choices as you do.

One Connection Through us All

I think that we are all connected.  You are reading this, and my miles away from you, a person you have never met, are connected.  I believe in the energy we produce each all connectedday through the tenor and intention of the thoughts we create.

 Some see God as a being that exists somewhere, guiding us from afar or judging us either good or bad in our actions. Based on some outward notions of right and wrong.

Yet, it seems that God is much closer and more involved than that. He is inside each of us, and when you can quiet your mind, you can hear that power in all things. God doesn’t judge. God guides. How well we listen will provide joy or disappointment in our experience.

I am not looking for a fight to convince you of anything or change what you believe because that is your Connection and, of course, your choice. I know that I have never felt more connected and sure than I do now.  We all have this Connection inside of us and need to look for it and listen to it to know what we should do.  We are all connected, and that makes us human. It is your choice to determine how that Connection affects your life. I feel that anything that provides separation of people is not from God, and anything that connects people is.

The Choice of Kindness

tumblr_lejihkylQ41qcre5zo1_500When I look at all people, I think we all have the choice of kindness every day in all situations we encounter.

Someone yells at you unfairly, and you have a choice, hug them or punch them in the face.  Someone gives you a gift, and you have the same choice. The choice of your action is always with you, not someone else.

 I have never encountered a situation where kindness was not the right thing to do or didn’t make a bad situation better.

 It eases the pain, boosts morale, and makes people feel generally good and hopeful about the future.  All of these happy ships of thought are sent through acts of kindness.  We all choose to be kind or cruel; you decide what the people in your life will be experiencing. The ability to choose to share hearts makes us all human.

Greatness Lies In Us

All people are born with a great talent of some kind. Unfortunately, life seems to present us with a relentless avalanche of experiences tgreatnesshat cause us to forget what this talent is. To the point that we forget we possessed it in the first place.

 There is a passion inside of you and me that is our own. Each of us has this; once you investigate it, you will find your path. The one that makes you truly happy and allows you to connect to life in the best way possible.

Dreams are the vehicles that these passions follow.  You dream of what you would love to do with your life, and your passion and talent make this happen.  Sometimes we create our roadblocks by overthinking things and believing the negativity that others provide.

What if this happens? Or if only that should happen? Or any other million possible limiting questions that can impede you from simply reaching for your dream.  It may seem daunting and too much of a chance, but the only way you will ever know is to create the journey toward your goals. The journey is a powerful thing because that is where life lessons exist.

How much will I cherish the lessons I learn on the way?  Mistakes are great teachers and often bring tasks you need to know to reach the dream eventually.   We are all searching for our true selves and the ability in us that will make us great. Your choice is to seek this talent or let it lie dormant forever. You can’t blame anybody else.

The Dark Side

One of the scary parts of having the freedom to choose is that from time to time, we are going to

We all have a darkness, without it we couldn't recognize the light.
We all have darkness; without it, we couldn’t recognize the light.

Choose wrong.  There is a dark side in everyone, and all people are capable of great goodness and great evil, and it is one of the mysteries that make life delicious to taste. It is a choice.

 Everyone has been on the dark side at some point, and it may have seemed like it was for a good cause, but when you choose anger, fear, intolerance, or hate, you choose the dark side of humankind.

 I am not wise enough to know why, and I only observe and know that from what I have seen, both darkness and light do exist inside every person I have ever met, including myself.

 Accepting this fact is not difficult because nobody is perfect. I recall all the times I chose for selfish, fear-driven reasons, and I know I could have done better.  It is not a criticism of people, only an observation of fact.

 All people have a dark side. Putting it aside and maintaining the light is a show of strength, which is the most difficult choice.

 We are all the same

All people have so much in common that I often find it inconceivable that hate exists merely for arbitrary reasons, race, religion, culture, region, or even sexual orientation.

If people focused on what we have in common rather than their differences, the world would be friendlier and more productive.  I know that people attacking differences in others is a defense mechanism to make them feel safe, but I can always hope that it will change and our commonalities will be more important than how we are different.

What were the most powerful choices in your life?

 

22

Looking for You

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Do you Let Your True Self Shine?

Do You Know?
Do You Know?

I have had to pause to ask myself about my path quite often. What makes each of us unique? Let me tell you what I think. Each of us is born with unique talent or skill that is ours alone. It is given to us at birth, and we need only to follow it to find our purpose in life.

Life isn’t ever that easy, though. From the moment we come into the world, we are met with limits and expectations from others.

Sometimes the limits come from a place of love, like a parent guiding their child safely, and sometimes they come from a much darker experience.

It matters little where the limits come from, and they cause us to be ashamed of who we are and what talent we have.

These “would have’s” and “should have’s” of life make you shy away from your true self, pretending to be something more acceptable. Some who experience abuse early on in life never really get to see their authentic self, making it much harder to find.

Looking For Me

Are You Looking For Me?
Are You Looking For Me?

I have been hot on the trail of my authentic self for much of the past two years. It has been a slow and sometimes scary chase. It all began almost two years ago.

When I realized that I didn’t know anything about life, I was not happy, and like many people hadn’t been happy in a long time.

There had been moments of extreme happiness, and I enjoyed people, but the inner feeling of joy escaped me. I had resigned myself to think that this was how you felt in life, empty and bored.

I was waiting for the clock to run out. However, life had other thoughts, and events reminded me that I wasn’t always this way.

Dreams were a vital part of my youth. My imagination guided me in almost every adventure I had every day, and I dreamed of everything from playing for the Red Sox to racing horses.

I believed that everything that I thought of could happen, and it was just a matter of getting a little older for me to do all of those things. That person was my authentic self, the true me. I was gifted with the ability to dream vividly, and it seemed life was determined to make me forget that.

The Cover-Up

cover upOver the years, the feelings of trying to fit in, not rock the boat, and be “normal” made those thoughts move from the front to the back of my mind.

Finally, they were forgotten, neglected, and abandoned as I got older. I was an adult, and there was no place for dreaming in adulthood.

It was like knowing a secret that you couldn’t remember, but you knew it was a good thing, and if you could connect with it, then all would be well.

Life, however, moves in, and the job, the relationships, and the expectations all jump on top of you and push that authentic identity far back into your memory and may never let it out. Like you are asleep and can’t wake up.

Waking Up

wake upI am not unique because I think others have gone through some traumatic events and are shocked by the malaise of life.

I started to remember it piece by piece, and it is still coming back to me. Like waking from a slumber, you begin to experience life differently.

Each of us is born with an authentic self with abilities meant for us alone. Some people are right to them their whole lives, and others never see their authentic selves again.

Most people spend their early life forgetting and the second part of their life trying to remember. It doesn’t matter who you are or what age you are; there is a unique person inside you that is a mere alarm clock ringing from waking up.

Do you know your authentic self?

“Authenticity starts in the heart.” Brian D’Angelo

“Authenticity over everything.” Anonymous

“If you’re your authentic self, you have no competition.” Anonymous

“Don’t trade your authenticity for approval.” Anonymous

“Honesty and authenticity are a big deal for me.” Scarlett Thomas

“Authenticity: The courage to be yourself.” Anonymous

“Be fearlessly authentic.” Anonymous

“Authenticity is magnetic.” Anonymous

 

Life

Identity

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Who Are You??

When you woke up today, you probably looked in the mirror at some point. Who did you see looking back at you? Most of us see a person we have created to fit into the roles we face in our lives each day. The one who has to perform their job, take care of their family, do what is expected, and be the person your ego has told you to be. But that is not who you are, and most of us are operating under a case of mistaken identity, and until we start to look for who we are underneath the flaking edifice covering us, we will continue to feel just……..not quite right.  The good news is you are there, the real you, right there underneath the stories we have chosen to believe and give life to in our imaginations.  Remember who you are, and there is nothing that can stop you.

Our Stories

People are great creators of stories, and we use them to define our lives.  Things happen to everyone; some are very positive and will readily accept them because they make us look and feel good.  We tell these stories to the world about the accomplishments, the skills we have, the relationships that define us.  We describe these tales to ourselves.  This process is a part of the false self we create in life to fit in, to show we are exceptional, helpful, talented, and to deliver our value to ourselves and the world. We are the authors of these stories, and we create our biography.  What

What story do you tell about yourself, which contradicts your true self?

happens when the stories we tell are entirely fabricated in our minds.

Your real identity is not in the stories you tell, and you choose to believe about yourself. Each of us is more than that behind the decks. It is my contention; all people have greatness within them and have forgotten their true identity. Replacing it with life stories, others will accept, to give a positive view of themselves. But the correct version is so much better and valuable.  Finding your identity should be the first step in your development, and learn to embrace it.

Glimpse It, Embrace It

I know many people who possess real power is in who they are, not in what they do. However, they give all of their attention to what others think of them and their role.  Spending time seeking the approval of others and searching for social media acceptance or just popularity alone is not going to reveal any of the natural substance within. It is chasing a false creation, made to please others rather than to express yourself.  Self-expression through creativity is the voice of the true self within.  You have no doubt had glimpses of the person you are.  Look for it, and you know you have found it by the overwhelming positive feeling it brings to you inside.

Embrace this feeling and look for more of it.  Finding a way to communicate with this part of yourself is the secret.  It is not difficult to do. You have to quiet your mind and then look past the never-ending stream of thought our brains produce and see what is behind them. That is where your true identity is living, waiting for you to put aside the mistaken identity you cling to and embrace your true self.  Many people have been raised to ignore our true selves.  Fit in, find the job your family will accept as “successful.”  Embrace the relationship others will agree, skip the one that is right for you.  Your true self knows what is right for you and what is not. Look behind the mistaken identity you have accepted about yourself.

How to Find You

All of this is nice, but without a plan to find your true identity, it will just be an excellent idea. First, you have to be willing to look for the person you are. I know many great people are not ready to watch because they are afraid of what they will find.  Fear is the actual opponent for all of us in all aspects of our lives.  You may be comfortable where you are with your story, even if, deep down, you know there should be something more.  It is hard to move out of security to find something else that is

Fear stops this from happening; don’t let it stop you. The world needs your authentic self.

The fear.  But why are we here if not to bring all we are capable of creating to the world. Fearlessly look for that person.

Second, we have to be willing to create action plans and follow them toward who they are. Take a class, read a book, join a group, write your thoughts, find your true identity, and embrace it wholeheartedly. If this seems simplistic, give it a try, and then we will talk.  Our characters have been constructed throughout our lives, and making changes to the beliefs we have accepted as accurate is the most challenging thing a person will do.

Look at every single thing you believe is real and question it. We all have beliefs that limit us from being our best or accepting the best life has to offer us.  We learned them from society, family, and institutions that raised us. Proving these long-held beliefs false is unsettling, but through that uncomfortable mess, our true self will rise.  You have to be willing to risk who you think you are to find out your real identity.

Be willing to be uncomfortable, scared, and nervous about what you are doing and trying to create, and the thing you will build will be your true self. What could be better than that?

“A wild goose never laid a tame egg.” – Gaelic Saying

“Every man is the architect of his own fortune.”  –Appius (c.470 BC)

“If there’s one message I want people to take away is never compromise being your authentic self. Even if that means making others uncomfortable.” -Halima Aden

“The real rub is finding that authentic self, and it’s not something that’s going to come to you overnight.”-  Paul Guilfoyle

 

21

Begin

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beginningBeginnings can be challenging. You aren’t yet privy to all of the nuances that make a job or task work with as little resistance as possible. This experience is true of a new home, a new job, a new relationship, any time you are beginning anything at all! It is true with life. Beginnings are both terrifying and exhilarating, like climbing a mountain. As you take your first tentative steps, it might seem impossible, but with persistence, you can reach any summit.

Most people don’t have someone who can guide them or fill them in on what to expect in this adventure called life. As you go through its stages, there are many experiences you will have to deal with to feel normal. Some tests seem pointless at the moment, but the value is only revealed to you years later. There are many things to learn in life, and one of the most important is who you exactly are. That is the real new beginning. To realize you have a chance to learn everything.

Beginning of Your Education

constant educatonAs you may have figured out, the beginning of your education did not start when you entered kindergarten, and it didn’t end when you graduated from high school, college, grad school, etc. The rudiments of academics were a tool to reward, develop, and learn how to learn. But the joke was on us. The real lessons were not the subjects but the space surrounding them. The people, relationships, and thoughts you were exposed to along the way. These tests are the ones we continue to be faced with throughout our journey.

Life is a consistent educational experience that teaches its lessons with the cold and hard slap of trial and error. We try, we fail, we learn, we plan, we try again. Continually it goes on, and those that are lucky learn quickly, and those who don’t may lag, and the lag can be pretty painful. The great thing is that as long as you are alive, you will always have a chance to catch on and make up for the lost time. Learning is an equal opportunity activity available for any fertile mind. Allow yours to grasp it—no matter what age, you can still learn every day.

Beginning to Accept Ourselves

weaknessGoing along with school and learning, you will find out early and often that a consistent theme in life is making mistakes. How we view mistakes is going to determine what type of learners we are. We can allow them to define us, or see them for what they are, valuable learning experiences. Too many people fear mistakes as a personal indictment of their character and talent. All an error is, especially in an academic setting, is a chance to learn. Learn and reach goals, achieve accomplishments, grow your mind, and experience.

Mistakes are often hard masters that sear their lessons into your existence. It doesn’t take too many hearts wrenching; face slaps of reality to know that some mistakes don’t need to be made more than once. Life will continually flog you with the same mistakes if you are a slow learner until you finally get the lesson. Don’t worry about developing perfection because you will continue to make mistakes your entire life. Not letting yourself be beaten up by mistakes because of someone else’s perception of you, schedule of being, or becoming just plain miserable is the trick to enjoying life. Stand up, dust yourself off, and begin again.

Your Authentic Self

Ecstasy is simply awareness of your authentic selfEvery person is born with authentic talent or skill that belongs exclusively to them. Life appears to be a process where original you are continually covered up and often forgotten by everyone, including you. There are many ways in which this happens; outside of us, people say your authentic self isn’t good enough, is silly, unrealistic, or doesn’t fit into what is acceptable in society. “That’s nice, but you can’t make a living at it.”

The other is on the inside. As we make mistakes and fall short, we let them discourage us and attack our self-esteem. When mistakes happen, we pine away for better decisions in the past rather than learn the lesson and move on. Our authentic selves get buried underneath the harsh evaluation of “I should have done that,” or “I could have done this,” or “I would have gone there.” We pile on the blame to ourselves, and soon we only see our limitations, expecting to fall short. We are less than what we should be. Your authentic self is a talented, unique, and fantastic person. Don’t let the fear of a mistake rob you of giving your gift to the world. Whatever it may be. It is time to begin again and climb that mountain.

You Alone Can Do It

jordan qupteThe good news is that another beginning comes to most people; it is the beginning of searching for that authentic self. It may start as a gentle nudge in your soul; you may feel like things aren’t quite right. Or it may be jarred loose by a tragic event—the idea of who the violent rock slide of events suddenly uncovers you. The death of someone you cared about, the sudden and unexplained ending of a relationship, or the sudden loss of a job can force you to reevaluate where your mental state is. Is this all there is? Maybe a question you start to ask yourself in private.

I have learned that there is no one path to reach this authenticity, no one process, but many avenues that can direct different individuals to their authentic selves. Some know what their true self is all about; others have to keep searching through the rubble of regret and self-criticism until the truth is discovered like gold amid so much dirt and debris. And then begin again and start to climb that mountain all over again.

Yes, it can and will be found. We seem to spend the first half of our lives hiding this treasure, and the second half is spent trying to get back to this unique inner talent and strength that you have. You can only take this journey, some will help you along the way, but in the end, it has to be you that accepts you, your talent, and your responsibility. Then one step at a time, it is time to begin again.

“The closer you stay to emotional authenticity and people, character authenticity, the less you can go wrong. That’s how I feel now, no matter what you’re doing.” – David O. Russell

“There is a certain kind of respect for authenticity today that there wasn’t back in the days when they did ‘Cleopatra,’ where everything looked like a giant motel. People want to have it be authentic in the look and trustworthy in the way people behave.” – John Milius

“Just be what you are and speak from your guts and heart – it’s all a man has.” – Hubert Humphrey

“Hard times arouse an instinctive desire for authenticity.” – Coco Chanel

“We need to find the courage to say NO to the things and people that are not serving us if we want to rediscover ourselves and live our lives with authenticity.” – Barbara de Angelis

“No one man can, for any considerable time, wear one face to himself, and another to the multitude, without finally getting bewildered as to which is the true one.” – Nathaniel Hawthorne

21

Original

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authentic selfBeing a true original is difficult to do today. The media inundates all people with numerous messages of what we should aspire to be, what clothes are acceptable to fit our persona, what beverage to drink, and even which medications we should take to alleviate any minor problem.  You have to wonder if there is room for a person to be a total original. Then you meet or see one, and you know it exists, which means the authentic self exists in you. Blaze your path and leave a trail for others to follow.  Too many people worry about what others think of what they do. Just do what your heart tells you.  If you are experiencing fulfillment in the process, then that is all that matters. Let’s strive to make each of us the person we were born to be.

Show Your Unique Abilities

authentic selfWe live in a world that is full of contradictions. People have the drive to be unique but live in a hell-bent society to make sure we are never expressing this. So what can you do to show your unique abilities? One of the first things is to try not to imitate others consciously. Do your own thing. I struggle with this constantly because I see many great writing ideas and some I try to emulate, to see how they fit, but that only lasts for a little while. I have to be me and express my thoughts how I see them and, more importantly, feel them.  Each thing I write comes from the creation of my mind. Others’ ideas influence me in the many things I read, listen to, and grow from. I try to express my thoughts on all of these things in my words.  Words seem to be an outdated form of communication sometimes, but they are the method I have.

Your uniqueness will shine through the minute you start to think for yourself and do what your heart tells you.  If you want to create art, then create the art your soul is craving to express.  Some people I know with great talent are much too wrapped up in seeking an audience and creating things to do that rather than create what you have the capacity and will to do and let the audience create itself. I would rather die an original than live my life as a copy.

Don’t Waste Your Effort.

So many of us spend so much of our energy to make sure that we present a story of who we are to the world that we want them to see that we have no clue who we really are. It takes a lot of energy to do this, to wear the mask of perfection or whatever you want the world to see. When so much of yourself is spent keeping people from seeing who you are, obviously, you will not be your authentic self, and the only trail authentic selfyou will leave is one of anger, frustration, and personal disappointment.

Throw this out and focus on being you, regardless of what you think the world wants you to be.  You may not even remember who you actually are because you have been playing a part so long. Move off the path that others desire for you and move forward down the path of your true self. Your authentic self already knows the answers, it was a person you were born to be, and you were this person before society, and time reprogrammed you to think who you were was wrong.  Now we spend our remaining years seeking to find our purpose, and it is always to get back to that authentic individual. Some will make it, and some will never look. That is the choice of life. Choose to be your authentic self, and the world needs more of this.

Leave a Trail

Too many times, people do what others think they should. Rather than blazing their own trail, even in a small way, they spend their time looking over their shoulder for the approval of others.  We see this in the presentation of social media posts. People seem to be looking for ways to present themselves as they want to be seen rather than as they truly are.  Hiding their authentic self behind a facade of self-propagated propaganda.

Please don’t follow the crowd, and they don’t know what is good for you as a person. Only you can know what choices will feel good to you. Only you can determine your path because when it is all done, you will be held responsible for your life and who you are, not the crowd.  Be your best self and leave a bright, brave trail for others to follow.  You are the only one who can do this, don’t let yourself down.

Do Not Go Where the Path May Lead, Go Instead Where There Is No Path and Leave a Trail – Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Through it all, I stood tall and did it my way.” – Frank Sinatra.