All of us must know at a basic level that fear is bad. I am not thinking of the basic fear of heights, snakes, or public speaking. Even though the roots of those are located in one of the three fears, which cause us to think negatively and bring negative energy to our lives. To eliminate the toxicity of fear, it is essential to learn how to recognize it and the emotions attached to it and destroy it in our lives. It sounds straightforward, but you know it is anything but simple if you know fear as I do. Let’s look at these three fears, how they arise, and how to eliminate them. Imagine living a life free of fear. What could you accomplish that you haven’t? What things in life would flow better and more efficiently? I didn’t invent these fears, but I have had in-depth experience with them. Let’s shine a light on them.

Fear of the Future

If everyone is honest, they will admit to entertaining the thought of fear about tomorrow’s future. It is easy because we all have hopes and dreams for what will come. But we also have experienced pain because we have attachments to specific outcomes that didn’t happen. It is a constant game of what if and worries. What if the car breaks down? What if they leave? What if I get sick? The list of potential problems is nearly infinite, and your mind will play this game a lot because it is a trick to think if you consider all of the difficulties you might face, you will never be disappointed when tragedy does come your way.

The problem is you are creating anxiety where none needs to exist. Challenges will come your way, and you will deal with them as they come. The actions you will need to take will become apparent as required. To eliminate these fears, the best technique is to maintain a sense of mindfulness and be in the moment right now. Right now is the only moment you are guaranteed. Live there and let tomorrow bring its things. That doesn’t mean you don’t plan, we all do the best we can in this area, but it also means you don’t put all of your energy into fearing what might happen tomorrow or next week. Be grateful for the things you have in your life right now at this moment. Live today and dismiss the fear of tomorrow.

Fear of Rejection

This fear also exists in everyone; some people deal with it much better than others. We have all been in a situation we haven’t gotten what we wanted in life, had a relationship end, or lost a job or something else that mattered to us. This is rejection, and that can be a harrowing experience. It is so painful that we will create a life where we don’t put ourselves in that position again. We will limit ourselves and the people we are close to, ensuring we don’t find that pain again. But that is fear, and fear is toxic and will limit you in all ways.

To face these fears is to understand the pain inside will happen occasionally, and you don’t want to go out and seek it, but you can’t live a life of limit to avoid it either. I have spent years in limiting situations because I was afraid of rejection. It stems from your experience and the programming you have had in life. Something that happened when you were very young can hold a place in you, creating fear of being rejected by someone. Divorce often has this effect on children. We all rationally know it isn’t the child’s fault, but it feels like rejection for sure to the child. Face your fear of pain and jump back in with an open heart and a clear mind. It isn’t easy because there is always going to be a chance you will be hurt. And pain is still………..well, painful. But life is about living, and pain is a part of that. Fear stops you from living. Focus on today and not what has happened in the past and accept new things and people and be grateful for them.

Fear of Failure

We have been conditioned in our lives to fear failure. It is a word that has become synonymous with lessening your ability and a result to be avoided at all costs. Look at our educational system: you pass and are great or fail, and you are not so wonderful. If you have never done something and are trying to figure it out, you will not experience success right away, more than likely. But if you continue to work, take the lessons from your first attempt, and put them into your efforts the next time. You eventually will bring your goal into reality. But a fear of failure stops many from even attempting.

It would be quite a world to put the fear of failure behind us and try things we are interested in without being labeled. When a young person tries and doesn’t do things quite right, it is essential to encourage and not chastise them. See the effort and encourage them to try again. All great things are created through the action of experiencing “failure” and applying what you learn. If others discouraged you as a child, it is up to you now to choose how you respond to a challenge today. Some don’t step out of what they know they can do, and others jump into the challenge. Funny that once you face the fear of failure, you realize how valuable those experiences are to you and your learning. Try without attachment and be open to the feedback experience gives you; you can do anything.

Fear Not

Many fears branch off these three toxic fears, but you can overcome them by learning to recognize when you are afraid. Fear is a feeling of danger and exists to maintain your well-being. It moves you away from physical danger and keeps you safe. When this perception of risk is irrational and mental, you need to shine a light on it, and you will find the fear holding you back is nothing but a misguided thought. The thought you are supporting the things you believe about life. Change your thoughts, and you will find these three toxic fears can be lessened or even eliminated from your life. Start by consciously looking at how you approach things. Please point out the fear, and notice it in your mind. Understand it isn’t you. A simple change in thought can eliminate it. This is not an easy process, but it is simple, and anyone can do it. You can do it if you try, and the result will be a life of limitless possibility.

Quotes on Fear:

“Is it useful to feel fear because it prepares you for nasty events, or is it useless because nasty events will occur whether you are frightened or not?”– Lemony Snicket

“Many times, the thought of fear itself is greater than what it is we fear.”– Idowu Koyenikan

“Men go to far greater lengths to avoid what they fear than to obtain what they desire.”– Dan Brown

“Of all the liars in the world, sometimes the worst are our fears.” – Rudyard Kipling

“One great enemy we must all endeavor to fear, not conquer, is fear. Fear can cripple purpose and purposeful life. Fear asks questions we must fear. Fear makes vision a nightmare. One must always cross the barrier of fear to get to the great city of true purposefulness. A great number of us who are unable to live to accomplish the true reason for our existence on earth are unable to cross the barrier of fear in the first place.”– Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

“The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear.”– Gandhi