Tag Archives: Choice

Personal Growth

The Gift of Choice

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People are given a gift of choice. Some are keenly aware of this and make decisions to understand the power of their choice to move one closer or further away from the life they desire by the honesty, integrity, and character of each of their decisions. Other people move blindly through life with no awareness of the power of their choice. They muddle through situations blaming outside influences, other people, or even something like the weather for their problems. In my observations of life, I am sure that we are in the place we are at, experiencing our lives in the manner we are due, almost exclusively, to the things we allow in our minds and the choices we make because of them.

Responsible or Not?

There is nobody responsible for your situation but you. People who understand this and live this way seem to have much more in their lives than one would want to be accountable for. The choice of responsibility brings you power, and appointing blame somewhere else takes the power of your being away.

People give their power away through blame, judgment, and wishful thinking. Your choice to accept responsibility for your circumstances brings freedom and power. Many events will happen we have no control over, but we always have 100% control over our response to any situation, and it is in this choice all of our power of attitude exists. Placing the blame won’t change anything but give you a negative attitude, place you further from a solution, or understand the lesson the situation teaches you. Or you can let another person or a situation make choices about your emotions, attitude, and thoughts. This choice is exclusively up to you.

Positive or Negative?

The choice to be positive or negative in your thoughts, actions, and attitudes is a decision a person faces continually throughout life. It is my observation most people have slanted one mentality or the other. Not surprisingly, their life circumstances serve them precisely what they seek. Keeping a positive perspective doesn’t make bad things enjoyable, but it will allow you a tool to deal with them in a better way.

A negative attitude will take you to a location of disappointment, sadness, anger, frustration, or somewhere else on that spectrum. A positive attitude won’t change the present circumstances as if by magic, but choosing to look positively will help you find the best path in your life. The tragedy is a tragedy, and pain is pain. It will hurt and be discouraging no matter how you think, but it will not define your life if you focus on the good that is still around in your life. Or you can choose to be miserable and let every “bad” thing that comes along derail you and potentially destroy you. That choice is yours and yours alone.

 Love or Not?

You have a choice to practice love in all situations or to be mean and selfish. Being human provides us with a continuous option to either be open to love or to close ourselves off to the possibilities of love. When we were young, perhaps we found pain in caring or being disappointed with those we loved. So we close our hearts and choose not to let anyone else in. The belief that others will hurt us has led me to a lifetime of relationship failures. I think most people are similar. It is easier and less risky to be on your own in life.

Life is a situation built to be lived in conjunction and connection with other humans. I aim to open up and allow new things and people into my life. As people lean into the possibility of love, they learn to love themselves. We are all the people we were when we were born. Perfect, and here for a reason. It seems life is an experience to remember exactly who we were.

Indeed there are choices in life every day, and the joy we give and receive in life will ultimately result in our ability to choose well or not. My challenge to you is to take a moment this day and every day to be aware the choice exists for you, and you are responsible for them. Good, bad, happy, or sad is all up to you.

“You are free to make whatever choice you want, but you are not free from the consequences of the choice.” -Anonymous

Decisions are the hardest thing to make, especially when it is a choice between where you should be and where you want to be.” -Anonymous

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” Nelson Mandela

“The 3 C’s of life: Choices, Chances, Changes. You must choose to take a chance, or your life will never change.”

“Make good choices today, so you don’t have regrets tomorrow.” Anonymous

 

22

Avoiding the Negative Loop

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This human experience can be confusing. As we try to figure out where we fit in, something changes, and we are left looking for a new equation that will lead to our success, acceptance, and happiness. But we spend time choosing and creating narrow attachments and expectations for the outcomes. If something doesn’t work out just like we think it should, that is bad, and we choose to be unhappy. When I let go of how I think the world should be and accept it, I can also find the good in each moment.

Suffering

Life is going to bring its share of challenges. No person will live for an extended period, having everything go just perfectly. If they did, there would be no opportunity for personal growth or self-development. You would be stagnant, just as you were. It w, and it is like continually being a child with no developing maturity. Suffering comes from the thought that what is happening in your life is not as you think it should be. Something is wrong and needs to be fixed. This can result from any challenge which shakes your reality.

It can be a relatively minor thing, like an annoying co-worker, to a big something like a loved one’s death. The idea you need to fix things because they are wrong will lead you to fear, worry, insecurity, resentment, criticism of others, criticism of yourself, tensions, stress, and all things which lead to dissatisfaction and unhappiness.

What if you didn’t do that?

The alternative is to open your mind and develop a broader vision of life and the things it brings your way. Perhaps the experience you are having, no matter how unsavory or harmful, is precisely what is best for you now. You don’t have to like it, but not wanting something won’t make it go away. Dealing with the present moment will allow you to become better.

Living in the present moment, not worrying about what the future will be, or regretting the past, will allow you to make choices that honor the present and see where true fulfillment comes from. It isn’t attached to the events swirling around your life. A “good thing” here makes you happy. A “bad thing” makes you unhappy. Realizing they are all just things to which you give meaning through your mental conditioning, expectations, and attachments.

Your Power

This doesn’t mean you accept someone treating you poorly; when this occurs, you don’t take it personally as an indictment of your value and see it as a clear issue of the person mistreating you. A loved one’s death is a sad occasion, but feeling bad won’t bring anyone back to life; the reality of the situation is what it is. How you deal with it, move on from it, and see your gratitude for the departed person’s influence on your life will allow you to grow and develop your power despite the loss.

Shift of Perspective

It is not an easy shift, moving your perspective from one of the ego-defined expectations to source-centered acceptance. If a life of fulfillment is your ultimate goal, then some movement in this direction is warranted. It will allow you to not drift to and from happiness to sadness based on the things occurring outside of you. Living like this gives all the power to those things. Never knowing from moment to moment if you will have the rug pulled out from underneath you or not.

Learning to see events as things outside of you and not letting them define your happiness is a rare power. Not identifying with our conditioned expectations, we can approach all situations with an open mind and heart. This will bring on feelings of acceptance, well-being, and ease about the events of your life. They are things that happen, not defining points of your character. In this understanding and practice, one will probably realize that life is, in fact, OK, just as it is. What if our most feared moments are just opportunities to grow?

22

The Power of Your Choice

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What do we all have in common that makes us human?

diffent the same

No matter where you live or what you do to survive, life always boils down to our choices. From who you choose as friends to how responsible you are, it is all decided consciously. We all can choose what we experience.

 Many people have a hard time accepting responsibility for these choices in their lives, but if you look at yourself honestly and in an unbiased fashion, you will see the power your preferences have had on your life’s success or failure.

 Yet often, we fail to look closer and see the common threads that run through us all. Our choices in what we see, who we love, where we go, and what we do are all made by us alone. Think along with me and recognize the power of your choices as you do.

One Connection Through us All

I think that we are all connected.  You are reading this, and my miles away from you, a person you have never met, are connected.  I believe in the energy we produce each all connectedday through the tenor and intention of the thoughts we create.

 Some see God as a being that exists somewhere, guiding us from afar or judging us either good or bad in our actions. Based on some outward notions of right and wrong.

Yet, it seems that God is much closer and more involved than that. He is inside each of us, and when you can quiet your mind, you can hear that power in all things. God doesn’t judge. God guides. How well we listen will provide joy or disappointment in our experience.

I am not looking for a fight to convince you of anything or change what you believe because that is your Connection and, of course, your choice. I know that I have never felt more connected and sure than I do now.  We all have this Connection inside of us and need to look for it and listen to it to know what we should do.  We are all connected, and that makes us human. It is your choice to determine how that Connection affects your life. I feel that anything that provides separation of people is not from God, and anything that connects people is.

The Choice of Kindness

tumblr_lejihkylQ41qcre5zo1_500When I look at all people, I think we all have the choice of kindness every day in all situations we encounter.

Someone yells at you unfairly, and you have a choice, hug them or punch them in the face.  Someone gives you a gift, and you have the same choice. The choice of your action is always with you, not someone else.

 I have never encountered a situation where kindness was not the right thing to do or didn’t make a bad situation better.

 It eases the pain, boosts morale, and makes people feel generally good and hopeful about the future.  All of these happy ships of thought are sent through acts of kindness.  We all choose to be kind or cruel; you decide what the people in your life will be experiencing. The ability to choose to share hearts makes us all human.

Greatness Lies In Us

All people are born with a great talent of some kind. Unfortunately, life seems to present us with a relentless avalanche of experiences tgreatnesshat cause us to forget what this talent is. To the point that we forget we possessed it in the first place.

 There is a passion inside of you and me that is our own. Each of us has this; once you investigate it, you will find your path. The one that makes you truly happy and allows you to connect to life in the best way possible.

Dreams are the vehicles that these passions follow.  You dream of what you would love to do with your life, and your passion and talent make this happen.  Sometimes we create our roadblocks by overthinking things and believing the negativity that others provide.

What if this happens? Or if only that should happen? Or any other million possible limiting questions that can impede you from simply reaching for your dream.  It may seem daunting and too much of a chance, but the only way you will ever know is to create the journey toward your goals. The journey is a powerful thing because that is where life lessons exist.

How much will I cherish the lessons I learn on the way?  Mistakes are great teachers and often bring tasks you need to know to reach the dream eventually.   We are all searching for our true selves and the ability in us that will make us great. Your choice is to seek this talent or let it lie dormant forever. You can’t blame anybody else.

The Dark Side

One of the scary parts of having the freedom to choose is that from time to time, we are going to

We all have a darkness, without it we couldn't recognize the light.
We all have darkness; without it, we couldn’t recognize the light.

Choose wrong.  There is a dark side in everyone, and all people are capable of great goodness and great evil, and it is one of the mysteries that make life delicious to taste. It is a choice.

 Everyone has been on the dark side at some point, and it may have seemed like it was for a good cause, but when you choose anger, fear, intolerance, or hate, you choose the dark side of humankind.

 I am not wise enough to know why, and I only observe and know that from what I have seen, both darkness and light do exist inside every person I have ever met, including myself.

 Accepting this fact is not difficult because nobody is perfect. I recall all the times I chose for selfish, fear-driven reasons, and I know I could have done better.  It is not a criticism of people, only an observation of fact.

 All people have a dark side. Putting it aside and maintaining the light is a show of strength, which is the most difficult choice.

 We are all the same

All people have so much in common that I often find it inconceivable that hate exists merely for arbitrary reasons, race, religion, culture, region, or even sexual orientation.

If people focused on what we have in common rather than their differences, the world would be friendlier and more productive.  I know that people attacking differences in others is a defense mechanism to make them feel safe, but I can always hope that it will change and our commonalities will be more important than how we are different.

What were the most powerful choices in your life?

 

22

Time To Be Happy

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Happy- feeling or showing pleasure or contentment
Happiness is a choice. Choose wisely.

Take a moment, right now, and look at your level of happiness with life. Where does this moment rate? Is there happiness inside you, or are you looking off in the distance for it? Too much time is wasted in the pursuit of finding joy in a job, another person, or something that you own. Happiness doesn’t live in any of those places. Being miserable today to earn pleasure in the future is an equation that will always fail to deliver. Satisfaction is not out there somewhere; it is inside you and can be accessed simply by changing your perspective about your experience and the thought pattern you are following.  

Finding happiness, at this moment, is done by becoming conscious of the things that are happening all around you. Having a goal of where to work, the kind of relationship you want, or how much money you want to have are great things but don’t tie your happiness up in them. Being happy today right now is a choice you can make. Use the simple tool of gratitude for what you do have to build positive emotions and happiness.

Make goals and strive to achieve them because a purpose is vital to your whole life. But never forget to enjoy the trip along the way. Each step you go through provides information and experience to help you down the road. Be happy about that. Life is a long game, full of twists and turns. You can choose to be satisfied along the way anytime you want. Don’t postpone your happiness. Embrace it, share it. Today, now, at this moment.

Simple Happiness Activities (They Cost Nothing and Bring Everything)
  1. Be grateful for all the good in your life.-  Practice daily gratitude and see all the things you already do have to be happy for, and more will come, and you will be even happier.
  2. Forgive those you perceive to have wronged you. (true or not)- Forgiveness has the power to set you and your emotions free. That is a happy thing.
  3. Give something to somebody.- Giving is vital in the flow of energy in life. And that flow will make you happy.
  4. Accept responsibility for your choices always. You can feel sorry for yourself or choose to take responsibility for where you are right now. Being responsible will make you happy, and feeling sorry for yourself will not.
  5. Live in the moment, Enjoy the little things. Each day will give you small moments of coffee, conversations, sunshine, and blue sky that you can choose to appreciate or ignore.

Shift your focus today if you are feeling unhappy. Look for the good things out there, which are right in front of you. It is a choice to enjoy a sunrise, a sunset, the blue sky, a lake, the ocean, birds flying south for the winter, the warm smile of a friend, good company, or any other little thing you come in contact with during your day. Focus on your thoughts, emotions, words, and actions today, and see what can make you happy today.

What has made you happy today?  

Where have you overlooked the chance to be happy? 

Happiness Quotes

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Helen Keller

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” Abraham Lincoln

“People don’t notice whether it’s winter or summer when they’re happy.”– Anton Chekhov

“Happiness, not in another place but this place…………not for another hour, but this hour.” – Walt Whitman 

 

 

 

 

22

Spiritual But Not Religious

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People define themselves in many different ways, spiritual but not religious is a way I have thought of my relationship with God for about half my life. Nobody has ever asked me what the definition of this statement means to me until today, and it was astonishing to me I had never really written it down. I am stating my views in this way to define spirituality and why it has little to do with religion for me. The tableau of results depicts my path, and like most trials in life, I am on it due to my choices.

Being Conscious of Choices

The first thing I will explain about myself is that I have become more conscious of my choices in life over the years and the subsequent repercussions each decision will bring to your life. We are all programmed from the time we are born to the actions and beliefs which will help us become accepted in our culture and to belong. If you are not aware of your choices, then this programming will make the choices for you.

I was raised by my parents and family religiously, and I went to church every Sunday for my entire childhood. I believed what people told me wholly and blindly. As I grew in life, I noticed inconsistencies between what they told me and the life I experienced. When I started to question these things, the answers I found moved me away from my upbringing. But not away from God. We are all gifted with the ability to ask and choose for ourselves, and I think that is a skill that makes us uniquely human.

Nobody Excluded

One of the teachings I found most incorrect was that if someone didn’t believe as you did, they were wrong and probably going to be denied a trip to heaven in the afterlife and sent to an eternity of punishment in hell. As a child with a pure heart, I never understood how a God, who is love, would ever make anything like that happen. The conclusion I came to was that they wouldn’t.

I have found there is the ability to be a great person and the ability to be the opposite of that inside each of us. You have to fight to be the best person you can be because it is far too easy to drift into the negative. Since we all have goodness inside them, all people deserve redemption. I think a person’s actions demonstrate how they are living life right now. Most people are doing the best they can at this moment, and they deserve our encouragement, not our condemnation.

I Am Responsible

So to be spiritual means to me that I am responsible for my choices and the reactions I have in life. If I fight to continually act in kindness, understanding, empathy, sympathy, joy, and love in dealing with all people, then I feel I am on the right path in life, doing what I can to make things better.

On the other hand, should I choose not to live that way and give in to the easy decisions of being hateful of others who think differently from me, judging others, indifferent to the difficulties of others, acting from a place of fear, then the harm I cause is my responsibility in life. I have found that which choice I make leads directly to my experiences in life.

In Conclusion

To sum it up, I believe being spiritual is my relationship with God and what that means. Seeing that all people are connected, even those we may not like. Through our common humanity, we are here in this life together. To judge someone negatively because of their religion, nationality, ethnic heritage, skin color, or other factors is not Godly.

On the sunny side of Sunday, I have met many people who preach love, but in the shade of the rest of the week speak hate about those who are different from them. To be exclusionary, judgmental, and hateful are not positive traits of any Godly organization or people I want to be associated with within my life.

We all can choose which road we take. Acceptance or judgment? Kindness or meanness? Giving or taking? Love or fear? You will decide for yourself as I have and continue doing for yourself. That is what defines spirituality to me.

“Spirituality is not running away from the battlefield of life. Spirituality is blossoming every dimension of life with love, responsibility, equanimity, creativity and compassion.” – Amit Ray

 

 

21

Confident

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Being Confident In Life Is a Choice

Although I have trouble sometimes with certain concepts, one thing has confidence-is-a-choice-to-act-or-to-do-or-to-decide-quote-1become abundantly clear. Being Confident in life is a choice.

Confidence stems from the conscious decision to accept yourself for what you are and to not let your weaknesses rule over your strengths. Can it be that simple? The answer is a loud and emphatic YES!

 

Let’s face it, we are all human beings, and all of us are constructed with a list of strengths and weaknesses to take advantage of or overcome. Everybody is in the same boat; there is nobody exempt.

But not everybody looks at the boat the same way. There is a definite attitude that those who become successful carry and those who fail to wear a badge. It all comes down to the choice each individual makes about how to look at things. One person sees an insurmountable obstacle, and another sees a great opportunity. The perspective is different, but the sightseeing is the same.

How to Make Sure You Fail

If I want to ensure that I fail and lack confidence, I will focus on my mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings. Rather than looking at them for what they are, these issues become my focus, learning experiences that allow you to gain valuable information about yourself, your life, and the world around you.

If you waste your time berating yourself for past mistakes, you will miss the future that is right in front of you. There are more than enough people out there that will gladly point out your shortcomings if you listen to them.

If you focus on the fact that yes, that was a mistake, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience, what exciting opportunities does this present for me? Then you are on your way to success because it is all just a choice anyway.

Look at it. Yes. So. It happened. That’s life. Get over it.

confidence is a choice
Confidence Is A Choice

Things happen to us all. These experiences are woven into the fabric that is who we are.

Some of these experiences have been great; some have been o.k. And some have been downright awful. That is the deal with life, it isn’t always going to be perfect, and you are never really in control of any of it.

You are one hundred percent in control of how you react to everything, how you let it affect your life, and how you feel about yourself. Your level of confidence springs from this thought pattern and affects your self-esteem.

When an experience occurs, you will do well to look at the event and understand it. You lost a job, or a relationship ended. Why did it end? What growth opportunities did this present to you?

What could you do about it? Accept it because it happened. You can long for the past or feel sick over the loss, but in the end, you are going to end up in the same place, either you are going to choose to accept it and move on with confidence is a choiceyour life, or not accept it and decide never to be happy or prosperous again.

If you were at an amusement park and got on a ride, you are stuck on that ride until it is over. You have the choice to enjoy it or not. To choose not to enjoy the journey seems like a waste of time, but many people take this option every day.

The ride will eventually end; you can’t go back to the beginning and experience the same thing exactly. You can try, but every time the trip will seem a little bit different.

Every experience in life is like that. The ride is life, and you are on it, whether you enjoy it or not. There will be twists and turns, ups and downs, good and bad, that we will all experience. And at some point, that experience is going to end.

Dealing with these things in a generally positive way is the first step toward feeling good about yourself and becoming more confident. Don’t let bad experiences define who you are, get over them and see what they have taught you about yourself, others, and the world around you.

You Control What You Think

confidence is a choiceYou can control all of your thoughts about everything that you experience. If you don’t control what you think, then somebody else will.

Be confident in yourself and know that you have abilities and talents that make you unique and one of a kind. The world would not be quite what it is if you weren’t in it.

Let’s say that you are in a crowded restaurant; you stand up to go to the restroom, and right in front of everyone, you knock your plate on the floor. It smashed into a million pieces and made a mess.

How you think at that moment defines how you feel about yourself. A person who is comfortable with themselves might react with thoughts like this, “Wow, that was clumsy! I just made a mess. I am sure everyone here has made a mess before. I have probably given them a great story to tell. I will help clean this mess up. I don’t know any of these people anyway. ”

Another way to react would be, “God, that was such a stupid, idiotic thing to do, and I am worthless and stupid and ignorant and no good and why am I like this and God I hate being me and when will I ever learn……..etc.” You can see the difference. If you choose the self-loathing path, is it any wonder that you are not happy?

The only person in the world who can control what you really think about in any situation is you. If you choose to delve into unhealthy, self-defeating attitudes, that is the surest way to be miserable I can think of at this moment.

The good news is that choosing healthy self-promoting thoughts is just as easy, anyone can do it, and it is the pathway to feeling great every day. The most significant thing is that you have total control of your thoughts, you can’t blame anybody else, you can’t say that you “got a raw deal,” you are the maker of your dreams, and you will have to live with them no matter which type of thought you choose.

“Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.”- Sheri L. Dew

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”- Theodore Roosevelt

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.― Lao Tzu

Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it. ― Dorothy M. Neddermeyer

21

Choice Defines You

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Choice- an act of selecting or making a decision when faced with two or more possibilities.  Something we all struggle with because we are always worried we will choose wrong.

What choices will you make today?

There is freedom that exists in every choice we make.  From the seemingly meaningless routines of the day to the most complicated interpersonal decisions, the choice of your thoughts, words, and actions always lies exclusively with you alone. That is an excellent and sometimes frightening proposition. But that is part of the joy of life. So I am trying to remember for myself and urge you to make the choices your heart is encouraging you to make. Even if they turn out to have challenges, you will have the ability to create new opportunities and move in another direction.  Each moment of life is a choice, and you create your character with the decisions you make, so choose well.

Daily Choices

The average person makes approximately 35,000 choices in a day. Many decisions arrive using our subconscious mind, and the automatic programming we have been collecting all your life. choiceThere is no conscious thought behind them. They might include, what you eat, what you wear, when you eat, the route you take to work, the places you stop along the way, the coffee you drink, the activities you participate in, or any number of things. There is a missed chance for consciousness in every choice we make on automatic pilot.

Every moment of the day is an opportunity to choose who you want to be. Honesty or lies? Kindness or meanness? Judgment or acceptance? Peace or anger?  These are just a few things that you choose at each moment of your life, and they determine who you are.  If you are unhappy with a portion of your life, then you have the power to choose another path for yourself. If you hate your job, decide to find another or find a way to make it more enjoyable.  If you are unhappy with your relationships, choose to work on what bothers you or select to end them. Be prepared to accept the freedom and responsibility of the results of your choices.

Choosing Our Reaction

There are moments in life that are out of our control, and we have no choice in them and certainly wouldn’t want to experience them. Natural disasters, the death of a loved one, job loss, the poor behavior of another are examples of things out of our control that no sane person would choose.  But we always have a choice in how we react to these unfortunate things.

Life is never a smooth road, there are bumps and challenges all the time, and they are there to allow for your growth. You choose how you deal with them. Do you become bitter or learn to be more accepting? Do you stay stuck in the past or move forward into the future? Do you give up? Or do you rebuild? Each choice will define you until the next opportunity comes along to change it. In the end, you are going to be responsible for the life you live.   We can make all the excuses we want. The choices we make in thought, words, and actions will tell the true story of our life. What choices are you making today?

Honoring Choices

I hope that more people will look at their choices and ask if they are things that will accept them. Only you can decide what thought, word, or action will bring honor to you or not.  I know that there have been times I made poor choices that did not honor my life for me. They were mistakes, and hopefully, I have learned from them and make more honoring preferences with that experience.

If you can be conscious enough to ask yourself in all small choices, does this honor me? You will get an answer, and that will guide you if you listen. It is essential in the manner you choose to treat other people. If you lie or cause harm to someone willingly, then you can expect those poor choices to become a part of your life for a while. It is just that you won’t be the giver of pain and suffering; you will be on the receiving end.

Be conscious of all of your choices today in thought, words, and actions.

“At some point in our life, everyone must decide if they are a creator or a critic, a lover or a hater, a giver, or a taker.” ~ Unknown

“Make good choices today, so you don’t have regrets tomorrow.” Anonymous

“Every day brings new choices.” Martha Beck

“Life is all about making choices. Always do your best to make the right ones, and always do your best to learn from the wrong ones.” Anonymous

“Life is a matter of choices, and every choice you make makes you.” John C. Maxwell

“Everything in your life is a reflection of a choice you have made. If you want a different result, make a different choice.” Anonymous

“Every morning, you have two choices: Continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase your dreams. The choice is yours.” Anonymous

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” Denis Waitley

I have written about choice quite a lot in the past.

Crossroad Choices

Even more on this page

21

Thought Switch

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change-your-thoughts-and-you-change-your-world147At every moment in the day, each thought that we entertain is a choice. Many times I find myself thinking a thought that is judgmental, negative, or fear-driven. Fortunately, with everything we think, the opposite is also available.  Like flipping a switch, we have the ability at any moment to turn off those negative thoughts and turn them into something positive. This is a thought switch that is available to you at all moments. Rather than complain about something you can’t control,  think of something else, more positive and productive. Your corresponding emotions will be less destructive.

The human mind is only capable of entertaining only one thought at a time, and that thought will affect your emotional and physical well-being at that moment. It takes no more effort to think positively and constructively than to think negatively and destructively.  We all make this choice for ourselves throughout the course of each day of our lives.

Turn the thought switch………

Thoughts of judgment into thoughts of acceptance.

correct-yr-mindNegative thoughts about yourself to Positive thoughts about your talents.

Thoughts about doom and gloom to thoughts about hope and light.

Thoughts of worry replace with thoughts focused on the here and now.

Thoughts of wrongs done to you in the past are replaced with appreciation for things in your life right now.

Our thoughts are the force that leads to our emotional state, and we control our own minds. We decide what thoughts we focus on and which ones we ignore.  It is your choice to be jealous, envious, judgmental, or angry. Focusing on those thoughts will take you to a life that isn’t much fun to experience because all of those are based on fear. Your choice to hit your own thought switch and focus on the opposite thoughts brings the opposite mental states and experiences with them.

It may sound simplistic, but dismissing this without attempting any change will guarantee that your personal vibration stays just where it is. Improving your thoughts will improve your personal vibration, improve your relationships, health, and how happy you are with life. Generally making your experience in life a more positive and happy one. But the switch can only be operated by you, and nobody can do it for you. 

Give it a try to see what happens. The only thing you have to lose is unhappiness and anger. You have to gain a better understanding of yourself, a consciousness of thought and joy in your life.

You are in the Driver’s Seat!!

 

21

Challenges and Fate

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Making-Choices-At-Cross-Roads-represents-Free-Will-Arriving-at-a-Cross-Road-represents-destinyMany have wondered if there is really such a thing as free will, or are we just following predetermined cosmic paths created for us to experience by some higher power.  Do our experiences happen for a reason, or are they chance?

Constantly, people face challenges and situations that always give them an essential experience or understanding that they need to accomplish a goal or create something that they could never have done without it.  Did you make choices about your actions, or was it your destiny?

At times it seems that life is an intricately planned dance, that we are merely providing a well-rehearsed part. So I will determine once and for all right here if you should listen to your heart or if it is an illusion you have any choice at all.

You Have a Choice

One side of this argument is that we all have the free will and choice to do whatever we want to do. There are no facts to back up this idea, only philosophy. We can pursue any goal, try to become anything we want in life. Create any experience we want. However, these goals do not always turn into reality. Sometimes we fail. So what is the choice then?  It is often a comforting thought to think that all thingsYou-have-a-choice. happen for a reason. But the bigger question to ask is, what is the reason? Is it a reason we have created for ourselves or a cosmic path we are sliding down?

We are the decision-maker in our lives. We each decide to ourselves if we let a minor setback put off the rails for a long time or resolve to try a different approach, learning the lessons of the past and the steely punch of reality.  When you set an intention in your mind and decide to create something, I think the Universe works to bring this about. But you can’t be sort of onboard with the result.  If you fail at first, you have a choice. To quit and blame the world for not giving you the thing you hoped to accomplish. Or you can choose to get determined and try again. You are not doing the same thing. That isn’t growth, but learning from the experience and adding that wisdom to the new effort.  That is a choice, and we all have free will to follow that at any time. I often have to remind myself of this fact daily. Many people go through relatively the same experiences. Some choose to quit, hide from and be bitter about life, where others want to use the circumstances as a motivation for getting something done, accomplishing the unthinkable, and proving life wrong. You can most likely find both of these experiences inside of yourself.

All As It Was Meant To Be

destiny-1Another thought is that everything exists out in front of you, and you are following a path that is set for you by God, the universe, the great beyond, or destiny (whatever you choose to believe).  To me, this means there is something that is going to happen regardless of your decisions.

If this is the case, then each choice you make is no choice at all; it is just you playing a predetermined part.  It will be ironic if this turns out to be true. Some decisions we languish over and spend hours of worry about for no real reason. But, in the end, your choice is already recorded in the books. We are just part of the illusion of control that makes us feel better.

Destiny is an excellent idea because it relieves the pressure. Things may not be as I want them right now, but I am moving toward greatness because it is written in the stars. (or not) I believe that the thought of true destiny without our participation would make no sense, but that is why we play this game of life to figure out the rules required to win. Each step we take reveals a little more of the game, and if a person is observant and reflective, they can learn more every day.  There are times I feel like circumstances are as they are meant to be, and others where I can’t imagine the good that could result from the day I just had. I guess the value of anything is judged by you and how it is applied to make your life better or worse. Have you ever just let the fates decide? I know I have, and in those situations, whatever happens, enjoyment and happiness are still a choice.

The Combo Pack

destiny-or-free-will_06_2011I think that there might be a combination of these two elements at work in everyone’s life. You are living your life, and you are faced with decisions each day. You can be significant, and the choices you determine if you reach your potential or not.  If you let the fear of anything stop you from becoming a better version of yourself, you will be less than you could be in life. In all things of value, there is always a chance of failure, loss, and disappointment. I have experienced it all in the past year.  It is my choice now what I do about it. If those things drive me to do something which leads me to great success, then, in the end, aren’t the nasty things perfect?

Was it fate that pushed me in the right direction, or was it a personal choice? Does it matter at all if the result is a happy life in which we can be the best version of ourselves? The one thing which I am sure about is that if you are unhappy with your life, then you have to make a different choice than you have been making.

Each choice we make should reflect on our experience. Life had given and where we are going and what we do when we get there.  My personal experiences have been telling me that we create our destiny.  Through our intentions, beliefs, actions, and confidence in ourselves and our abilities, we forge a life full of accomplishment. Or, through our inaction and doubt, we create a mediocre life that may be acceptable to others but doesn’t follow our real purpose in any way.

Irony?

One of the ideas I love is no matter what choices we make in the day-to-day grind of things. We are going to be pushed this way or that. We do one thing or another. We make a million decisions to try to create something or become something. The irony might be that all roads lead to the same destination. Some are more scenic, and some are more painful. But at the end of the journey, no matter which paths you have chosen, you will arrive in the same place.

If I listened to my heart, I would delete this post. Or perhaps it is my destiny to post it. Or maybe the choice of posting or not will turn my life down one of two different roads, each of which has a million different experiences on them before ending up in the same place.   It makes you wonder if there is any point in worrying about anything at all. So perhaps listen to your heart, cross your fingers, and hope for the best is the most positive thing you can do.

So what do you think?

A. By not commenting, you believe that the universe is on autopilot and what happens will happen

B. You can say, knowing that your free will to comment will affect your future, my future, and the future of humanity.

C. It doesn’t matter what you do. The same result will occur.

D. All of the Above

“What fates impose, that men must need to abide;
It boots not to resist both wind and tide.” WILLIAM SHAKESPEARE

“Man does not control his fate. The women in his life do that for him.”-GROUCHO MARX

“Maybe Fate isn’t the pond you swim in, but the fisherman floating on top of it, letting you run the line wild until you are weary enough to be reeled back in.”-JODI PICOULT

“We seal our fate with the choices we make.”  GLORIA ESTEFAN

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Are You Truly Living

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What is the difference between being alive and truly living?

truly living
Are you truly living?

by Jonathan Hilton

All people are going to answer this question differently depending on where they are in their life.  To me being alive is a fact of nature, and enjoying life and living for a purpose is truly living.  But how do you enjoy life?

Other people will answer this very differently.    It only takes a few visits to any number of blogs to experience the wide variety of philosophies and beliefs that exist.

Young people are struggling to master life, yet so hopeful about living it is encouraging   While older people are resigned to the fact that you may never figure it out everything there is to know about life, but they share their thoughts and experiences.

One of the things I like about reading so many different people’s opinions is to be exposed to ideas that are different from mine. Valid yet different and I think that is a powerful force of growth.  These are my thoughts on truly living.

The problem with Life

For me there is a question that came to me as I got older and thought that I was on the

questions about living
We all have questions, I know I did.

path I should be on. After carefully contemplating the experiences I have been fortunate enough to have in life I came to the conclusion that being alive was not enough and that I needed to start truly living and for me that meant I had to make a lot of changes in my perceptions of people, life, God and everything that at one time I was sure of.

I wasn’t sure what was “right”, but I knew there was more to life than a conditioned accumulation of material goods to supply comfort to life.

What comfort did I ever give to others? What did I contribute? Even as an educator, I was contributing stories about living which happened long ago, espousing the morals and actions that young people should aspire to follow, with the awareness of the world around me the size of the head of a pin.

I don’t think I  consistently enjoyed what life gave me. There are easy things to enjoy and appreciate, like those we love, and those that love us, a sunny, beautiful day, a large sum of money, all of these can be easily enjoyed, but how many people pass through a day without having gratitude for anything in their life, because they are too busy looking at what they don’t have.

I was one of these, searching for the right amount of stuff that would bring happiness with it. I never found that.

 The Past

Future past and present sign in the sky
Which direction do you follow?

One of the biggest problems people face,when trying to truly live is that they always seem to distract themselves from the moment they are currently experiencing.

Perhaps spending time with someone you love, reading a book, exercising, or doing whatever it is you do, because you allow yourself to be distracted by things that make you feel the moment you are in is not a good enough thing.

One distraction is the past, which often allows you to reminisce about the past and feel that things were so much better back then, when you were happy.

Often the past is not quite what we remember it to be and it really doesn’t matter in the scope of today.  It is over and gone, good or bad and to short change today for yesterday is selling something tangible and of extreme value for  nothing but a fantasy.

Often I had looked to the past to the good old days, which were nice memories, but other than lending experience to today, couldn’t help make me very happy or allow me to truly live.

 The Future

Others choose to focus on the future, planning and scheming the best way to route their lives to get to the point where finally they will be happy.  They think that if they  do this particular thing, at this particular time then I will be happy, satisfied, successful, or whatever.

The problem with this is that when you put all of your focus onto tomorrow you miss the great things that are happening today.  You can prepare for the future with the actions of today and enjoy today at the same time, the difference is that you don’t put anything off, like being happy and satisfied with life or anything else. Tomorrow may never come and rarely does it happen as you plan, so putting happiness off is a bad gamble that will most likely never pay off.

I’ll Be Happy When I am Rich

Materialism is another distraction that keeps people from enjoying the moment, often it goes hand in hand with waiting for the future, but tying your happiness into the acquisition of some material thing is going to stop you from appreciating today, because you are going to be thinking that happiness is going to come when you get that house, or car, or Ipad or whatever.

The satisfaction of that acquisition will be short-lived and soon you will be looking for the next thing that should bring happiness and satisfaction to your life, as you ignore the opportunity for happiness that you have in your experience today. Being grateful for what you have will allow you to enjoy the day. If you don’t believe me, then try it.  Be truly grateful for what you have.

Your Choice

choice for life
You can choose if you are alive or truly living

So truly living to me is the appreciation of what life is giving you right now in this moment.

That doesn’t mean that it will always be perfect. Sometimes there are painful things in life, and we have to deal with feelings that are not so nice, people get sick, accidents happen, people die, life is not perfect and there is no guarantee that everything is going to go your way.

However, there is a choice that comes pinned to each of those experiences to make it a positive or a negative factor in your life.  Only you can decide for yourself the difference between being alive and truly living.

What does truly living mean to you?

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