Tag Archives: Choices

Personal Growth

The Gift of Choice

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People are given a gift of choice. Some are keenly aware of this and make decisions to understand the power of their choice to move one closer or further away from the life they desire by the honesty, integrity, and character of each of their decisions. Other people move blindly through life with no awareness of the power of their choice. They muddle through situations blaming outside influences, other people, or even something like the weather for their problems. In my observations of life, I am sure that we are in the place we are at, experiencing our lives in the manner we are due, almost exclusively, to the things we allow in our minds and the choices we make because of them.

Responsible or Not?

There is nobody responsible for your situation but you. People who understand this and live this way seem to have much more in their lives than one would want to be accountable for. The choice of responsibility brings you power, and appointing blame somewhere else takes the power of your being away.

People give their power away through blame, judgment, and wishful thinking. Your choice to accept responsibility for your circumstances brings freedom and power. Many events will happen we have no control over, but we always have 100% control over our response to any situation, and it is in this choice all of our power of attitude exists. Placing the blame won’t change anything but give you a negative attitude, place you further from a solution, or understand the lesson the situation teaches you. Or you can let another person or a situation make choices about your emotions, attitude, and thoughts. This choice is exclusively up to you.

Positive or Negative?

The choice to be positive or negative in your thoughts, actions, and attitudes is a decision a person faces continually throughout life. It is my observation most people have slanted one mentality or the other. Not surprisingly, their life circumstances serve them precisely what they seek. Keeping a positive perspective doesn’t make bad things enjoyable, but it will allow you a tool to deal with them in a better way.

A negative attitude will take you to a location of disappointment, sadness, anger, frustration, or somewhere else on that spectrum. A positive attitude won’t change the present circumstances as if by magic, but choosing to look positively will help you find the best path in your life. The tragedy is a tragedy, and pain is pain. It will hurt and be discouraging no matter how you think, but it will not define your life if you focus on the good that is still around in your life. Or you can choose to be miserable and let every “bad” thing that comes along derail you and potentially destroy you. That choice is yours and yours alone.

 Love or Not?

You have a choice to practice love in all situations or to be mean and selfish. Being human provides us with a continuous option to either be open to love or to close ourselves off to the possibilities of love. When we were young, perhaps we found pain in caring or being disappointed with those we loved. So we close our hearts and choose not to let anyone else in. The belief that others will hurt us has led me to a lifetime of relationship failures. I think most people are similar. It is easier and less risky to be on your own in life.

Life is a situation built to be lived in conjunction and connection with other humans. I aim to open up and allow new things and people into my life. As people lean into the possibility of love, they learn to love themselves. We are all the people we were when we were born. Perfect, and here for a reason. It seems life is an experience to remember exactly who we were.

Indeed there are choices in life every day, and the joy we give and receive in life will ultimately result in our ability to choose well or not. My challenge to you is to take a moment this day and every day to be aware the choice exists for you, and you are responsible for them. Good, bad, happy, or sad is all up to you.

“You are free to make whatever choice you want, but you are not free from the consequences of the choice.” -Anonymous

Decisions are the hardest thing to make, especially when it is a choice between where you should be and where you want to be.” -Anonymous

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears.” Nelson Mandela

“The 3 C’s of life: Choices, Chances, Changes. You must choose to take a chance, or your life will never change.”

“Make good choices today, so you don’t have regrets tomorrow.” Anonymous

 

22

The Essential Lessons

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What We Should Teach

There are many life lessons we will learn

Presented with the opportunity to teach anything I wanted, and assuming that anyone wanted to learn, there is no doubt that I would try to teach a few of the things I have learned from life that I think are important.

 There were many important things that I never considered early on in life, which have proven invaluable and nearly vital knowledge today.

 These lessons may not be mind-blowing, but I think they are essential for you to be all you want to be in life. Whether you believe they have a place in your life or not is up to you.

1. There is Greatness in You

No matter the circumstance of life, each of us has the potential for greatness inside. How that greatness shows itself is different for everyone, but it is nonetheless. The secret is to find your area of expertise and allow it to grow.

greatnessIgnore the limiting thoughts of others. DonDon’tt your own negative self-talk discourage you. Follow the feeling in your heart that tells you quietly and confidently what you should be doing. Know that you are great, and allow it to show. Some of us have hidden our talent for so long that we have forgotten what direction to look or what to look for.

The first step to finding out what your skill set might contain is to start to look for it. Once you do, I have found that things tend to fall together quite naturally to develop and present you with a path to follow.

Before any of that can happen, you have to accept that you have greatness in you with the potential to do whatever you dream of.

2. Love or Fear will rule you.

There are two forces inside each of us, and everything we do comes from them: love or fear. You can choose which one you pay attention to in any situation.

 Love is not just romantic love. That is a tiny part of the entirety of the emotion, and it includes all branches of this positive emotion. Kindness, acceptance, joy, peace, love, humility, empathy, and truth are all things that come from this positive force.

Fear or Love Frame the Phrase Adyashanti Fear is the opposite and leaves its calling cards behind, evil, anger, jealousy, greed, resentment, lies, inferiority, and ego. Following these feelings and thoughts will bring more situations to make the same choice. What you think is who you are.

With every situation you encounter throughout life, you will be faced with this simple choice of how you approach it, and your choices will determine what kind of life you experience.

It is important to remember this choice because sometimes you may be in a situation where someone elselse’soice will affect you.

How positive the impact you have in life will, in a nutshell, be boiled down to which of these two opposing forces you align yourself with.

 

3. Gratitude is the Attitude

I do not know if gratitude can be taught or not, but it is vitally important to have a good life. Often, we spend life looking at what we dondon’tve and wondering why.

This thought pattern will only bring more awareness to what you dondon’tve. Since you spend all of your thought on the lack in your life, that is precisely what you will continue to experience.

InspiringsFramedPrintGratitudeBestowsReverenceThe alternative is to focus on what you do have, and even if it isnisn’tch, being genuinely grateful for what you do have will open the door’ for more to come into your life. Since your thoughts are about gratitude and being thankful, the world will find a way to see that you experience more of these things.

Being grateful is recognizing what you have and experiencing some joy about it. Being grateful will allow you to enjoy that thing and experience a feeling of joy surrounding it.

 If you are experiencing joy, even on a small scale, it is hard not to be happy. If you are happy, well, isnisn’tat the purpose of this little game called life? I think it should be, and I am grateful to be able to tell you this.

4. Live in the Present Moment

Speaking of being happy, you must learn how to live in the moment. That means you are aware of and appreciate what is happening in your life. It would seem simple to do, yet very few people do it.

 Distractions take out minds to all sorts of places rather than where we are. You cancan’tjoy today if your mind is lost in yesterday or tomorrow. If you arearen’tesent, then your happiness will evade you.

33214115972027956_gojpenAi_f Look at people walking down the street today; most are focused on anything other than where they are. On the morning commute, almost every eye is looking at their phone or Apple Watch searching for something that is not with them.

The present moment and all that it has to offer is ignored for a fantasy of thought that takes you anywhere, but at the moment, you are actually in.

This is important because if you live your life half aware of what is going on right in front of you, it will be challenging to experience long-lasting happiness. Simply because if your joy is in the past or uncertain future, it is not with you right now.

conclusion

I would include many other lessons in my lesson plans for life, but that will have to wait for another day. I am grateful to all of you who have read to this point! You just made my day! Remember that the end game of life is to be happy. So if you are making decisions or having thoughts and experiences that arearen’trking to that end, you need to change them. You have the power to do this anytime you want, and you have to like it.

 Reflections on the way things used to be…….. lead to knowledge

22

It Is Through Our Choices

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It is through our choices that we determine the motion of our lives. We choose what clothes we wear, who we spend our time with, the things we do for enjoyment, or how we express ourselves creatively. We make choices all the time, and we do this in two ways, consciously and subconsciously. If you don’t like the way things are, you can choose to change it. By our choices, we set in motion the intentions for your life and start to embrace who you are. Through your decisions, you have the power to dictate how you are going to respond to any person, situation, or circumstance. Let’s look at what a choice looks like.

What is a Good Choice?

To make a good choice, there has to be some thought and consideration spent on your part. The first thing required is to be present in the moment of what is happening. Only in this presence can you adequately weigh the pros and cons of each option. Each choice has the opportunity to be the tipping point between past and future, bad and good, from one life to another, or any change at all. By making a choice, you are declaring a direction in your life. It could be a relationship or a job, but your choice will dictate the order in which your life will run and who you will be running with.

It is also a chance to declare a clear intention about who you are and what you want. Each choice you make makes your identity clearer to everybody else and yourself. Also, natural selection must be a conscious decision. Not something you drive through any previous programming because of what others will think or have told you to do. But your conscious thought tells you to do what is best for you. Because all choices are personal and individualized, suitable for someone else, they may not be good for you. Through this process, there should be feelings of empowerment and personal gratification in the end. A choice will move you toward your destiny in life. Of course, we all understand that “good” is subjective, and what is suitable for one may be tragic for another.

What is Not A Good Choice?

We do many things we think are choices, but they are actions spurred on by fear. Essentially, they are choices but not the choices we make for our best interest. Other factors are influencing us. An option should not be something you are pushed into or have to force yourself to do. It should be natural and easy to do. A choice is not scary or uncomfortable in the long run. Often a choice leads to change, and when you do something new, it can be a little frightening, but once you are in the activities of that choice, it isn’t scary. It feels good.   All of your options have to be made by you, for you. You can’t make life choices for anyone else, and they can’t make them for you.

Of course, you should never make a good choice because you think it is what someone else wants you to do. Pleasing someone else in this way in the short term leads to long-term disappointment and even resentment. Don’t let the current circumstances of society dictate your morality of choice. You are responsible for what you decide to do in all situations, don’t let outside influences or other people ever make choices for you, and never seek to do that for others. That is just control driven by fear.

It is Time For a Choice

You know it is time for a conscious choice when certain situations enter your life. If you are sitting on the fence looking at two options in your life, it is time for an alternative. Wondering which way you should go or what action you should take, it is time to choose. It could be about a job, a relationship, or anything else that matters to you that you can go one way or the other. Another time for a good choice is when you see that change is necessary for your life. It would help if you had new habits to live in step with who you are. It could be a new diet or a new workout regimen. You want to change and are willing to create new habits.

If you think about new things and feel excited about experiencing them, it is time to make some new choices. It can be a welcoming way to new learning and building your resolve to share these new things in life. A good choice will have you feeling solid in your determination to experience your life differently, more than likely in a more positive way. There will be feelings of relief around issues that previously made you upset or confused you. Now you are taking positive steps toward finding the correct answers for you.

Through our power of choice, we set our intention to embrace who we really are and how we respond to any person, situation, or circumstance.

“Sometimes it’s the smallest decisions that can change your life forever.” —Keri Russell

“Your life changes the moment you make a new, congruent, and committed decision.” —Tony Robbins

“I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word and thought throughout our lifetime.” —Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

 

22

Thinking About Positive Thoughts

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positive thought“Every good thing begins with one positive thought.” ~Bryant Mcgill

Do you realize any small, minuscule, infinitesimal positive thoughts you entertain in your head could lead to great things in your life?  Our thoughts build on themselves, adding momentum to whatever you create.  They remind me of being a kid and building a snowman. You start with a small round ball that easily fits in the hands of the smallest of children. Then you put it on the ground covered in snow and roll it along. The ball will grow in size as long as you can find the power to push it along. Soon you have created a snowball that is so big it is difficult to pick up. You need three of these snowballs to create a decent snowman.  carefully placing each on top of the other and decorating it in the fashion you choose

That is the way of our thoughts. As we move them around, they collect more of the same charge of energy you used to create it, and soon your little thought has transformed into an action, which can be duplicated by others, and soon it can’t be stopped. You are the potential catalyst for all good things that happen in the world, and of course, you can be a part of the negative aspects.  We each decide how our thoughts will infect the world around us in every small moment.  Does the snowman you are building wear a smile or a frown?

Positive Thinking

positive thought
Like a snowball rolling down a hill, your positive thought can grow to enormous size! Choose your small thoughts carefully. They can destroy or create the world.

So what does it mean to have to think more positively?  Every second of each day, there is a choice that all people have regarding the thoughts they entertain. I have heard the average person has about 70,000 thoughts a day. Our minds are constantly creating ideas, opinions, and interpretations based on our experience in the world. Thinking positively is a choice somebody has to make; we all choose this course, or we choose to be negative.  It isn’t anybody else’s fault. You choose the thoughts of love over fear, and you are on your way to a positive mind frame.

To be more specific about these choices, there are choices of love over hate, laughter over crying, creating over destroying, perseverance over quitting, praise rather than gossip, healing thoughts and actions over those that hurt another or yourself, giving rather than taking, action over procrastination, growth over stagnation, or choose to live rather than to exist.  Each favorable decision will allow for your energy to grow in either direction. Positive or negative, it is all up to you, and the most minor positive thought can lead to at least one small good thing. As with all things, there is a possibility of growth, just like the snowball.  This can be created in either direction, again chosen by you alone.

What Are You Growing Today?

So the challenge for you today is to look at the thoughts you are entertaining. Where do they fall on the chart, positive or negative? Our thoughts lead positive thoughtto words that lead to actions that lead to the reality we are experiencing. Look at your thoughts critically and ask: Is this a thought I would like to grow? If it isn’t, it is time to make a different choice. Our future is created in every choice of thought we make today, at this moment.

We are responsible for the reality we create through our thoughts and our personal energy. Are your snowballs made of white clean snow containing all of life’s potential? Or do they contain the dirt and grime of negative thoughts brought on by negativity?  Life is created through energy, and you, yes, you, play a part in charge of the energy around you in your life and how others in your life experience because of you. Positive attracts positive, and negative attracts the same.  So the snowball you hold in your hand at the beginning will determine the type of snowman you are left with at the end. You are responsible for that in all moments of your life. What are you building? Watch your thoughts.

Every good thing begins with one positive thought.  Keep in mind that the reverse is also true.

“Change your thoughts, and you can change your world.” –Norman Vincent Peale

“There is only one corner of the universe, you can be certain of improving, and that’s your own self.” –Aldous Huxley.

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” –Alice Walker.

 “You, and only you, are ultimately responsible for who you become and how happy you are.” –Rachel Hollis.

“If you say you can or you can’t, you are right either way.” –Henry Ford

22

Following The High Road

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What Road Are You Traveling? 

high-roadAll of us are duplicitous by nature. There is the person we allow the world to see, and then there is the one we keep hidden from ourselves. All people live in this duality, and for many, it causes a constant struggle. Two paths are presented to us. One is the high road, and the other is low, based on the moral decisions we make every moment of every day.

The Direction is Clear

Positive moral decisions based on the energy of caring, love, honesty, understanding, etc., are made on the high road. Whereas the negative moral decisions are guided by lying, cheating, intolerance, rigidity, hate, or judgment are found on the low road.

dotherightthingIt has always been peculiar that there is no middle ground. Whether you are traveling the high or the low road, the middle road is like riding on a picket fence; impossible to get there and more challenging to maintain balance.

Sometimes the choices are easy, and doing the right thing is transparent and beneficial to you.  Unfortunately, the low road is far easier and looks like it will be so beneficial that you can’t resist the urge.

“I’ll only do this just this once,” you say, with a froth of good intentions on your mind.  But it’s a funny thing about traveling the low road. Once you get that path, it is harder to get back up than we could have imagined.

The high road may appear complicated, and I wish I could say I always clung Integrity-Is-Doing-The-RIght-Thing-When-No-One-Is-Watching1to it.  I haven’t and have paid the price dearly.  As I get older, though, I strive for the high road more and more in almost everything I do.

I am not perfect, but I strive for it.  You don’t have to be perfect, be honest, treat people well, and not be cruel to others.

Remember, we live an existence of duality, and the struggle is constant between good and evil, right and wrong, the high and the low.   Be vigilant, and you might stick to the high road. No matter what happens, you are guaranteed to have the opportunity to learn something.  Or you can choose to live in ignorance. 

“To every man, there openeth a way, and ways and away. And the high soul climbs the high way, and the low soul gropes the low: And in between, on the misty flats, The rest drift to and fro. But to every man, there openeth a high way and a low, and every man decideth the way his soul shall go.”   ~ John Oxenham

 

 

22

Leaving Judgement behind

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judgementWhy We Judge

It can be easy to look at someone else’s life and quickly dissect all they are doing wrong or at least be doing better. Their lives seem like a simple puzzle; they are too lazy, too rich, too poor, don’t care enough, or care too much. People look so quickly and coldly that they never really see the harm that judgment can do to their lives.

It is negative energy, which will never be a good thing. Acceptance is the key to positive relationships in life. If you are looking for happiness, then judgment needs to be avoided at all costs. Who are we to judge someone else? There is no more precise definition of where you are in your journey than how you judge someone else. Or perhaps how much you misjudged someone else. 

Hiding In Plain Sight

So why do we all have such an inclination to participate in something that is clearly detrimental to our lives in every way? One of the reasons is that when we direct our attention and others’ attention outward toward someone else and their behavior, the poor decisions and mistakes you have made are overlooked. Isn’t there a safe feeling inside when you say, “I may be struggling, but I am not struggling that much?”  So our judgments are constantly distracting attention away from our weaknesses. Does that make your weaknesses any less real?

Putting someone else down with judgments automatically puts you in a position above whomever decisions are being thrown at. It defines you because you focus on distractions rather than working on your problems and becoming a better person yourself. Your concerns are still simmering in the background, waiting to boil over.  It is impossible to be happy when you know an explosion is coming. And there is an explosion of chaos coming your way.  

Defining Ourselves

It will come down to the choices that we make each day when it comes to judgment. You have the option to be more accepting of others and their challenges because, in reality, it is not any of judgment 3456your business.  The choice to look at yourself honestly and work on your decisions, thoughts, feelings, and actions is a daily struggle that you need to start to pay attention to.

We define ourselves for the world in each thought we have and each word we speak. There is an illusion that nobody sees our weaknesses in our minds if we create a big enough cloud of dust by speaking in judgment about others.  Not your circus, not your monkeys. You will decide whether your meanness and judgment define you or kindness, love, and acceptance. It is that simple. When you judge someone else, you are clearly defining yourself, and you are ignoring your areas that are in significant need of improvement.

I used to worry a lot about what other people thought of me. Now I am much more concerned with what I think of others and how I look at their behavior and try not to take their terrible actions personally. It is a reflection on them and has little bearing on me.

When you judge another, you do not define them. You define yourself.~ Wayne Dyer

Are you judging or accepting today?

 “When someone judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their insecurities, limitations, and needs.” Lulu

“Never judge someone by the opinion of others.” Anonymous

“Be curious, not judgemental.” Walt Whitman

 “Everyone has untold stories of pain and sadness that make them love and live a little differently than you do. Stop judging; instead, try to understand.” Anonymous

“I don’t judge others.” Sarah Jessica Parker

 

22

Your Focus Provides the Value

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What We Value

valuables 1It reveals how the things we attach value to change over the years.  Some things that once meant everything to us now mean absolutely nothing, and conversely, some things we didn’t value at all come to tell everything in our lives as we grow and values change.  Understanding what is valuable or important to us is a massive part of growing and finding what brings you fulfillment and makes you the most productive human being enjoying life on this planet. Let’s see what things I put into my life treasure chest. They have certainly changed throughout my life. 

Physical Activity

children playing at the beach, painting by artist Debbie Miller
children playing at the beach, painting by artist Debbie Miller

Physical activity was a part of life as vital to me as breathing when I was young. It didn’t matter what time of year, what weather I had to face; I was moving in it.

It was perpetual motion in the summer, from swimming to boating to getting from place to place. I was physically active when I woke up in the morning to the time I put my head on the pillow at night.

Over the years, there was school, followed by a job, and then you had to find time to be physically active. I have gone through weight training and cardiovascular fitness of all kinds, and each time I value the ability and stamina I had as a youth. I love my mobility now and dream of what it was like then. Fitness is the greatest gift you can give yourself. It will improve your enjoyment and quality of life. I make it a priority. Working out is a daily must for me, and I relish making it a part of my routine.  It helps keep me mentally, physically, and spiritually strong.

Friendships

friendshipI am mystified by this one because, on the one hand, there are the people I grew up with that I am still friends with to this day.

However, I have met many “friends” in adulthood that are as transient as the weather. One moment they are there for you, and the next one as quick as the sun moves behind a cloud. Friendship seems to be a difficult thing to count on, which is too bad. Present for a season or two of your life and then destined to fade and fizzle out over time.  I have always believed that once I am your friend, I am your friend for life. There aren’t any conditions or behavioral expectations, we are friends, and it is a relationship that will last.

This philosophy has been continually proven wrong, so I value the friends who have been there when things weren’t so great. And those who are around for a short time and then moving along.  I believe wholeheartedly that people enter your life for a reason, often to teach you something. In friendship, like in all things, some have to move along to make room for gathering what you need.  I am glad that I have met so many wonderful people, and they have left such a vital mark. Like spices in the stew, each has added something unique. I am glad to have known them, and I care about you all the same for those that have faded.  The lessons I have learned from everyone have contributed significantly to my life. Whether you are here in my life now or not, I love you just the same.

Family Valuables

Jamie and JoninwindowFew things in the world define who you are more than the family you belong to. Some people hate their families, but I see us as a collection of unique individuals who move their way.

I make no bones that all of my grandparents, great grandparents, great uncles, and aunts that I have personally known have impacted me. Even though they have all passed away, I carry them with me.  Their voices are recorded in my mind, and I remember how they sounded and what they said.  I also remember what they did, and I was a fortunate and blessed soul because all of my relatives wanted me to be great.

Those that are still here, I love them all as well, even though distances that may be a natural part of life have crept in.  All of us are different, and I appreciate those unique qualities.  There is nothing as valuable as a family because no matter what they say or do, they carry around a large part of the DNA.  Family is something that gains in value over time.

Relationship Valuables

Relationships from long ago,

Mean more to me than they’ll ever know.

From the first time, I saw you smile

to watching you leave after all those miles.

You may not know that this part is genuine,

I have never forgotten my love for you.

relatonshipsThese words describe the way I have always felt. I have been accused of overthinking and being too emotional in recent years, which would be a shock, I think, to people who knew me when I was a much younger man.  But I carry my emotions on my sleeve and do not give my heart away very quickly. Once I make a choice, it is done. I have had some bad luck in this realm. Not sI am noting a lot of sound judgment in who I trust with this most valuable asset and who does not count. I have made some questionable decisions.  I hope I have learned the lessons I was meant to learn to advance in life with more wisdom.  Every new beginning comes from another beginning’s end, which is the way of life and relationships. Some are far more fortunate than me, and I am grateful for their happiness. May they appreciate what they have.

Valuables In My Mind

Learning is Life Long!
Learning is Life Long!

Finally, there are the things I have learned, which I have found to be extremely valuable.  For most of my life, I didn’t understand the value created when you started looking for the answer to a question.  The answers you may never find ultimately, but the information you learn along the way can make life so much more enjoyable.

Some people believe you go to college when you are young and learn, get a job, and put that learning to use.  I’m afraid I have to disagree with this paradigm completely. None of what I was exposed to in college I learned. I mimicked and regurgitated knowledge, but to learn, it has to become a part of you. I have learned more since I turned 43 than I ever learned in life before.

This is not a condemnation of my instructors or the schools I attended but an indictment of myself.  Above all else, what I can learn, contemplate, and understand, are the most significant valuables. The quest to understand myself and the contribution I want to make to the world in a larger sense is vitally important to me and part of the treasure I carry.  We all can contemplate that we will no longer be here at some point in the not-so-distant future, and I wonder, what will my actions have brought into this world?  Only time will answer that question. I am hopeful that the positive will outweigh the negative.

  • The value of life is not in its duration but its donation. …
  • The ultimate value of life depends upon awareness and the power of contemplation rather than mere survival. …
  • If you genuinely believe in the value of life, you care about all of the weakest and most vulnerable society members.

What do you treasure?

 

22

Standing At the Crossroads

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I Went Down to the Crossroads

We all face many crossroads in life, but making decisions never gets easier.
We all face many crossroads in life, but making decisions never gets easier.

I have been mulling over a lot of choices lately. Which way should I be going? What move will take me down the road that I am supposed to move down to find success, happiness, love, or destiny?

Life has a way of putting you into positions of choice. Some are minor, and we make them without much fanfare and move on with our day. Then others seem to be huge decisions that will affect the path of your life forever.

These are the times that you can feel that you are at a crossroads, one direction, and your life will be this, the other, and your life will be that, straight ahead, another thing, and of course, there is the option to return the way you came. The choice may seem easy, but you know it will affect everything about your life, personally, financially, and your happiness level. There is no simple way to make this choice.

Magic of Choices

It takes little research to find mythological stories about

Sam and Dean are not going to be able to help you make your own crossroads choices. Unfortunately it is all up to you.
Sam and Dean will not be able to help you make your own crossroads choices. Unfortunately, it is all up to you.

Crossroads and what they actually may represent in your life. Symbolically they can represent the location where two realms come together and touch so that it is representative of a place that allows a more precise vision into two worlds at once. The problem is that you are neither in one nor another, and the only way to move forward is to choose.

It is believed in many cultures that the location between worlds is a prime location for magical happenings and visits from spirits. There are many different stories and songs in modern Western Culture about meeting with a crossroads demon and selling your soul to make your choice have a positive outcome. One quick viewing of a Supernatural season will teach you all you need to know about crossroads demons.

Unfortunately, the magic of being at a mental crossroads will not last forever, and you must make a choice. Perhaps it is because it is so difficult to choose that societies and cultures have created stories about magic. Because the choice will ultimately end up either exceptionally good or bad, those decisions on the outside might seem like they are controlled by forces other than simple life.

Unfortunately, there will be no supernatural assistance in making a choice, and you have to do the best that you can all by yourself. That is the real magic of these moments, the option to move one way or another.

Make Your Choice, Take your Chances, Accept Results

Finally, there will be a moment when the choice is made, moving forward onto the unknown or untested ground every day. Some will work out great, and others will teach you something about yourself that you need to know. The one thing that is paramount to remember is that a choice will

Make your choices, pay your money, take your ride and see where it takes you.
Make your choices, pay your money, take your ride, and see where it takes you.

be made each day about the path you are going down.

If you do nothing, that is a choice, and the resulting experience will come your way. Sometimes that is the best thing to do. However, standing still most often will not get you anywhere positive, and it will stop you from reaching for what you want. There are only so many moments for peering down each option and weighing the apparent pros and cons.

In reality, we know nothing about the long-term experiences that each road has to offer. So make your best guess and start moving down it, and the experiences will come, most often the ones you need at the time, and it is vital to stay strong and realize that there will be learning experiences in all of them.

Sometimes there are seemingly opposing things that are very positive for you. Life is about choices each moment, finding the courage to accept love over fear, and meeting your daily challenge head-on. Strikeout down that road and let life happen, good, bad, or indifferent, you will be the owner of that destiny, and like it or not, it belongs to you anyway.

A song about Choices by Boo Ray— a Sea of lights a gentle breeze, take me to Los Angeles. ——All your choices.

One of my favorite Don McLean songs from a long time ago reminds me of traveling down these roads.

 

 

22

The Moments That Matter

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Your perspective on life will determine your success, and that is the way of it, whether you like it or not. How you look at the experiences you have will choose your thoughts on life, the people in your life, the places you go, and ultimately which goals are achievable and which are not. Even the most talented and motivated people will not be at their best every day, and if you are not functioning at your highest capacity, are you contributing in every moment? Does every minute of your life matter to the results of your experiences and accomplishments?

My philosophy is that every minute in your life matters, and those who take the time to evaluate themselves, their efforts, and where their place in the world can find value in each moment. We are limited in the number of minutes we have in life, and it is up to us what we do with them. The choice of enjoyment or boredom is yours and yours alone each day. And, of course, who is to say what one seemingly little minute in your life will lead to? Every minute is the gateway to the best version of yourself. Do you walk through it, stand in front, or walk away from it?

Life Is Short

Our human experience is valuable because there is no clear ending to the journey. It could be many years, or it could be in five minutes. Nobody knows. Yet most of us live our lives as if all the time in the world is at our disposal. It isn’t, and the acceptance and understanding that at some point, this life is going to end give all experiences, moments, and minutes a meaning. Each one will matter before the end, for sure, and often to others around you. What are you doing with your time?

Most people do not live life consciously thinking about the value of the minutes, but if you take a minute and think about it, you can find ways to make each of your minutes a little more valuable. Just as gold or diamonds have a perceived value because of their rarity, should your minutes be treated. Each one is unique and will never come again. Spending time doing what makes you come alive is the most meaningful way is the best way to make your moments last. You get the choice to appreciate what you have in your life or not.

You Choose The Value of Your Minutes

The choice is the action that makes our lives uniquely our responsibility. We choose the value of all things in our lives. We decide how valuable the people we spend time with are or are not. Is this day disappointing, or is it the gateway to something beautiful? That is a choice only you can make about your own life, and you make it every minute. Don’t accept that some minutes are better than others because of factors outside of yourself. That makes you the victim of circumstance and not the master of your fate. You choose on the inside the value that any activity has to you. That is being proactive and will lead to greater enjoyment. If you are reading, decide to value it.

Some would question if you find value if you are not contributing to something or building toward something. But I think your life is something and each moment has a chance to be built into whatever you want. You may not see the value now, but two years from now or a week from now, you will realize the foundation you have started today. If you are not currently building toward something, then you have the power to create a purpose for yourself. Start a new project. Look for a place you can make a difference. Move your sphere of awareness to what you can contribute to the world to make things better in a small way. Helping others provides a feeling of contributing to the world and building a better life for yourself. You are the only one who can choose to value each minute you have.

Responsible for Meaning

Who is to say what value is. It may be one thing, and another person may find something different to be of value to them. Personal choice is going to play a role in this. Look at the last year of my life. Some moments were better than any I have ever known and some worse than any I could imagine. For sure, both of them were valuable for different reasons. Significant change inside of myself has been the result of both extremes. Goals have been reached, which could never have been achieved in any other way. My perspective on life has adjusted more positively because of these learning moments.

Each moment good and evil forced me to change how I looked at myself and dealt with my emotions. All of life is a learning experience, and in this classroom, you are the one who decides if you “pass” and take something significant into the next moment of your life. Or if you “fail” and sit around, feeling sorry for yourself. You are the only one who can choose the value of your life and the moments in it. If you decide to be more honest, open, and understanding because of your experience, it has value. In each moment you live. We are responsible for ourselves and our happiness. You can’t blame anyone else, and you can’t wait for that job, person, or experience to provide value to your life. You have to do it yourself.

Never Underestimate Your Value

We are all connected in this journey of life. We create barriers to separate ourselves from everyone else, but still, there are far more things that join us all. We are all searching for the meaning of one sort or another. Each person we come in contact with has an impact of some kind on them and us. Even if it is minimal, it is still an influence. You can decide how you let that influence affect you. Some people measure the value of their life through degrees earned, awards won, or even material possessions collected. But none of these things truly define a person’s worth. That can only be determined by the positive manner in which they affect the lives of people they come in contact with.

Look at your life and see what positive things you have contributed to the lives of others. Are people better off for your being in their life? If you doubt your contribution, then make a conscious choice to be more of an influence. It doesn’t take money, and it takes a conscious decision to make your life meaningful every minute. Simple things like honesty, encouragement, gratitude, appreciation, and joy of experience can change others’ lives. In looking to make others’ lives better, the life you really will change is your own. The answers to any problem you face might appear at this very minute, and I can’t think of anything more valuable than that.

  • “While we are postponing, life speeds by.” Seneca
  • “If time be of all things the most precious, wasting time must be the greatest prodigality.” Benjamin Franklin
  • “Spare moments are the gold dust of time.” Bishop Hail
  • “I’ve always believed in savoring the moments. In the end, they are the only things we’ll have.” Anna Godbersen
  • “To do two things at once is to do neither.” Publilius Syrus
  • “Waste no more time arguing about what a good man should be. Be one.” Marcus Aurelius
  • “When you spend time worrying, you’re simply using your imagination to create things you don’t want.” Shannon L. Alder
  • “If you love life, don’t waste time, for time is what life is made up of.” Bruce Lee

 

22

The Best Version of You

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Once you choose START WALKING

All people find themselves at a point of decision in life. The way you decide to walk will determine much about your journey.  We are all on a trip from birth to death, and, in between, we make the choices defining us. What do you do? How do you choose the direction?

The answer I hope to find in this writing. Our minds are valuable tools; they provide information, ideas, and thoughts. Unfortunately, these things are often not very accurate because of the faulty programming of our pasts.  But we can overcome all of this, use our minds to accomplish great things, and become the best versions of ourselves. It just takes a little work, and the path will become apparent to you.

Programming Problems

Human beings are exceptional. From the moment we are born, we take in information and attempt to understand how to fit into the world, survive and thrive.  We look at how people treat us, other people, and situations to glean valuable bits of information about how to play this game.  We choose the things which work for us and stick to them, adopting them as the beliefs behind our lives. If you tried something new, failed, and were ridiculed for it, you were conditioned not to try anything out of your comfort zone again.

Random comments, nicknames, attitudes, and thoughts of others can make a lifelong impression, and if the tone is negative, these are a part of our self-image.  The source can be a parent, role model, peer, or even something seen in the media. These are lasting impressions and, once accepted, are a part of our paradigm of life, the rules we apply to the world.  These beliefs can be about our talents, worth, money, relationships, and all aspects of what makes us, us.  If left unchecked or unchallenged, a negative belief will be a part of our subconscious programming until the day we die.  We are in control of this, though.

Changing our Negative Beliefs

It is not a complicated process to change a belief. But it isn’t easy. Change is hard in any circumstance; it is frightening when you look inside yourself and honestly see an area needing a replacement.  Our ego is a part of our mind designed to keep us safe. The voice in your head tells you to be afraid of new things and attacks new ideas.  Doubt arises because of the fear of being harmed by trying something new. Even though a new career is the best option, the ego will fill your head full of doubt. A head full of uncertainty will have a difficult time making a choice.

Clearing the voice of doubt can be done by consistently presenting contrary facts.  It seems people will resist the truths in front of them until it becomes overwhelming. Life forces a change through circumstances. Usually, change comes when there is no other real choice. But if you plan a little, you can control the difference and even dictate how it moves in your life.  Realistic goal setting is one way.  What will make you happy? What career interests you? Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Ten years? These might be an excellent place to start. Honestly, answering them for yourself about what resonates with your soul will show you which direction you should start to walk.

Goals Are Guides

Setting goals are one of the mainstays of achievement. However, there is little formal education on goal setting and completing these goals.  There is a direct relationship between setting goals and the progress which results. A plan will provide a target to shoot for and dictate the actions you take daily to reach your ideal result.  You may be the best archer globally, but without a clear target to shoot at, all of your arrows will go astray. Give yourself the goal and put your focus on that.  Allow your actions to follow the intention.

Setting a goal is not difficult, but having the courage and consistency to accomplish them is.  It can be tricky because of the programming mentioned above and what we believe about ourselves, our talents, the world, and the nature of life.  If it were easy, there would be no accomplishment. The great thing is that all people can do it. Learning to focus your thoughts on what you truly want in life, walk that path, and stick to it will result.  Life is not a passive play. If you approach it like that, nothing will happen.  Life is an activity, and you will never finish until it is over.

Taking the First Steps

If you are standing at a crossroads in your life, wondering which direction to walk, look inward and make the big decision of what you want. Then create your goal.  There will be many doubts, but you have to learn to put them aside or continue standing still, doing nothing.  If you set a goal, achieve it, and realize you want something else, then good for you! You will have another journey ahead, and you will always have another adventure to walk, which is a good thing in life.

Sit down, choose your direction, be proactive, and write your goal down in bright letters.  Spend time imagining what the accomplished goal will look like and feel like to accomplish.  Keep your focus until your dream enters reality, letting your daily actions be steps toward this desired end.  Consistent massive action will provide you with the information you need. The energy of life responds to your actions.  Taking action makes things happen; standing still makes nothing happen.  You are in control of this. You alone decide the energy and movement of your life. You are the only one responsible, and it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks about your accomplishments except for yourself.

Choose your path and start to walk it. Once you set an intention through goal setting and set out to accomplish it with a positive outlook, you will see things fall into place for you. Help will come; things will work out for the best. What path are you choosing to walk?

Goal Setting Quotes:

“All who have accomplished great things have had a great aim, have fixed their gaze on a goal which was high, one which sometimes seemed impossible.” —Orison Swett Marden

“If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie.

“Our goals can only be reached through a vehicle of a plan, in which we must fervently believe and upon which we must vigorously act. There is no other route to success.” —Pablo Picasso.

“Success is the progressive realization of a worthy goal or ideal.” —Earl Nightingale.

“By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands—your own.” —Mark Victor Hansen.

You have the chance to be great, take it!!

Chances lost are hope’s torn out pages.
Maybe this time…………….