Being Confident In Life Is a Choice

Although I have trouble sometimes with certain concepts, one thing has become abundantly clear. Being Confident in life is a choice.

Confidence stems from the conscious decision to accept yourself for what you are and to not let your weaknesses rule over your strengths. Can it be that simple? The answer is a loud and emphatic YES!

 

Let’s face it, we are all human beings, and all of us are constructed with a list of strengths and weaknesses to take advantage of or overcome. Everybody is in the same boat; there is nobody exempt.

But not everybody looks at the boat the same way. There is a definite attitude that those who become successful carry and those who fail to wear a badge. It all comes down to the choice each individual makes about how to look at things. One person sees an insurmountable obstacle, and another sees a great opportunity. The perspective is different, but the sightseeing is the same.

How to Make Sure You Fail

If I want to ensure that I fail and lack confidence, I will focus on my mistakes, weaknesses, and shortcomings. Rather than looking at them for what they are, these issues become my focus, learning experiences that allow you to gain valuable information about yourself, your life, and the world around you.

If you waste your time berating yourself for past mistakes, you will miss the future that is right in front of you. There are more than enough people out there that will gladly point out your shortcomings if you listen to them.

If you focus on the fact that yes, that was a mistake, and it wasn’t a pleasant experience, what exciting opportunities does this present for me? Then you are on your way to success because it is all just a choice anyway.

Look at it. Yes. So. It happened. That’s life. Get over it.

Things happen to us all. These experiences are woven into the fabric that is who we are.

Some of these experiences have been great; some have been o.k. And some have been downright awful. That is the deal with life, it isn’t always going to be perfect, and you are never really in control of any of it.

You are one hundred percent in control of how you react to everything, how you let it affect your life, and how you feel about yourself. Your level of confidence springs from this thought pattern and affects your self-esteem.

When an experience occurs, you will do well to look at the event and understand it. You lost a job, or a relationship ended. Why did it end? What growth opportunities did this present to you?

What could you do about it? Accept it because it happened. You can long for the past or feel sick over the loss, but in the end, you are going to end up in the same place, either you are going to choose to accept it and move on with your life, or not accept it and decide never to be happy or prosperous again.

If you were at an amusement park and got on a ride, you are stuck on that ride until it is over. You have the choice to enjoy it or not. To choose not to enjoy the journey seems like a waste of time, but many people take this option every day.

The ride will eventually end; you can’t go back to the beginning and experience the same thing exactly. You can try, but every time the trip will seem a little bit different.

Every experience in life is like that. The ride is life, and you are on it, whether you enjoy it or not. There will be twists and turns, ups and downs, good and bad, that we will all experience. And at some point, that experience is going to end.

Dealing with these things in a generally positive way is the first step toward feeling good about yourself and becoming more confident. Don’t let bad experiences define who you are, get over them and see what they have taught you about yourself, others, and the world around you.

You Control What You Think

You can control all of your thoughts about everything that you experience. If you don’t control what you think, then somebody else will.

Be confident in yourself and know that you have abilities and talents that make you unique and one of a kind. The world would not be quite what it is if you weren’t in it.

Let’s say that you are in a crowded restaurant; you stand up to go to the restroom, and right in front of everyone, you knock your plate on the floor. It smashed into a million pieces and made a mess.

How you think at that moment defines how you feel about yourself. A person who is comfortable with themselves might react with thoughts like this, “Wow, that was clumsy! I just made a mess. I am sure everyone here has made a mess before. I have probably given them a great story to tell. I will help clean this mess up. I don’t know any of these people anyway. ”

Another way to react would be, “God, that was such a stupid, idiotic thing to do, and I am worthless and stupid and ignorant and no good and why am I like this and God I hate being me and when will I ever learn……..etc.” You can see the difference. If you choose the self-loathing path, is it any wonder that you are not happy?

The only person in the world who can control what you really think about in any situation is you. If you choose to delve into unhealthy, self-defeating attitudes, that is the surest way to be miserable I can think of at this moment.

The good news is that choosing healthy self-promoting thoughts is just as easy, anyone can do it, and it is the pathway to feeling great every day. The most significant thing is that you have total control of your thoughts, you can’t blame anybody else, you can’t say that you “got a raw deal,” you are the maker of your dreams, and you will have to live with them no matter which type of thought you choose.

“Noble and great. Courageous and determined. Faithful and fearless. That is who you are and who you have always been. And understanding it can change your life because this knowledge carries a confidence that cannot be duplicated any other way.”- Sheri L. Dew

“Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.”- Theodore Roosevelt

Because one believes in oneself, one doesn’t try to convince others. Because one is content with oneself, one doesn’t need others’ approval. Because one accepts oneself, the whole world accepts him or her.― Lao Tzu

Life is ten percent what you experience and ninety percent how you respond to it. ― Dorothy M. Neddermeyer